Sandra Bernhard Is #Blessed at the Joy Theater
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trodding the boards can performers will do so just as they Sandra Bernhard is toxic.” For the record, she looked great, ...from 21 did in real life (a helmet liner Ella despite noting, “We all need a little Fitzgerald wore during a USO perfor- #Blessed at the Joy zhushing nowadays.” Deanna Durbin singing Musetta’s Waltz mance can be seen on display). This Theater Bernhard was more open than I’ve in a sparkly strapless floor-length silver applies to the terrific Victory Swing Sandra Bernhard recently returned heard her before about her 16 year gown. Yet, to a Gen X-er like me, while Band as well which currently has an all to New Orleans for the first time since relationship with “Sarah from St. Louis” I recognize the names, there’s a certain white membership. For, though subtle, 2002 bringing her #Blessed show to and got lots of comic mileage from her disconnect as their performing days messages as these stage images con- the Joy Theater. With her droll humor teenage daughter Cicely (“What’s it ended long, long ago. Maybe I need to vey do matter, and we should expect and skewed view of life, she’s always like for me to be a mother? Can you check them out on Netflix. the National WWII Museum to do all it been a bit of an outlier in the entertain- imagine?”). But Cicely laid claim to the And though Frances Langford, can to represent all the people who ment scene, not likely to be voted “Miss funniest line of the night when she movingly impersonated by Ridgdell with have served their country. Popularity” but rather standing off on responded to her Mom’s question about I’ll Be Seeing You, was a very popular While Millennials might–might—not the sidelines, the epitome of cool. It what it’s like to have two mothers, singer from the 1930s-50s often tour- be that familiar with Hope, I’d wager was good to have her back. “Maybe if you two were transgender ing with Hope, I had never heard of her that every other American is which In 90 minutes of seemingly stream Moms we’d have something to talk before. Makes me wonder what people explains why, since Thanks for the of consciousness, casual chat, with about.” Apparently, quirky humor is an will think of, say, Gwen Stefani or Chris- Memories debuted in the Fall of 2013, occasional prompts from notes that sat inheritable trait. tina Aguilera 70 years from now. it has been one of the Canteen’s most on a music stand, Bernhard could be I’m not sure if I believed she had an Fortunately, Victoria Reed’s brisk popular shows. Twelve years after his gnomic (“We’re gonna get very Vieux affair with Brad & Angelina (“Ocean’s direction doesn’t allow such thoughts to death at age 100, Hope’s legacy seems Carre.”), but also dish out oldies but 11 and one thing led to another”), but linger. She has made a wise selection assured. goodies (the punch line to one joke, that Jane Fonda mistakenly sent her a of numbers mixing more familiar songs Assured as always was the meal after several similar questions, was “Is gushing email meant for that other together with less well-known ones. served for brunch. The Ponchatoula that Hortense?”. Say it out loud.) Sandy B (Ms. Bullock) had a credible, Heidi Malnar’s marvelous tap dancing Strawberry Salad with candied pecans Wearing a black shift dress with and very funny, ring of truth to it. to Sing, Sing, Sing is a nice change of and strawberry champagne vinaigrette pockets that occasioned several ob- Interestingly, though Bernhard was pace from the vocal numbers. And was fresh, healthy and delicious with servations about the differences be- very aware she was in New Orleans when the entire company enters the just the right tang. I always enjoy shrimp tween menswear and women’s cloth- and made several favorable comments audience and begins dancing with mem- and grits but the addition of smoked ing, Bernhard took us behind the scenes about our city, I sensed some of her bers of the crowd to the tune of Begin gouda, a slow poached egg and as- at an AIDS benefit to reveal some of the more NYC-based humor didn’t land the Beguine, we get a real sense of paragus made these especially yummy shenanigans there, and aimed jabs at fully here. For example, after telling a what those Stage Door Canteens must (despite an occasional shrimp shell). Miley Cyrus and Mariah Carey. hysterical tale about Vogue editor Andre have been like as servicemen danced And the Grasshopper Tart, a chocolate But she also allowed herself to be Leon Talley and the Little Black Dress with superstars. cookie and mint cream concoction, left the object of her own humor, comment- exhibit he curated in Paris, I’m not sure Apparently, the All-Star line-up does a smile on my face. I couldn’t’ve hoped ing “Glad you can recognize me after if everyone got her knowing distinction change; “Mickey Rooney” recently de- for a better meal. some of my recent surgical procedures between the “Dollar stores from 3rd to parted while “Lena Horne” just joined [done] with nuance and elements of (continued on 31) the troupe. I hope more African-Ameri- luxury. I’m now highly flammable and 26 • The Official Mag©: AmbushMag.com • June 30-July 13, 2015 • Official Southern Decadence Guide© • SouthernDecadence.com Compare that assessment with our monious bullshit. He won’t talk about how current governor—Bobby “Jack-Ass” he has screwed the people of Louisiana commentary Jindal. Jindal has virtually destroyed edu- over but he will talk an awful lot about family cation in Louisiana and suggested that values and morality. racism would not exist if minorities acted Well, Governor, you can talk all you by Frank Perez more like white people. And he couches all want. I’m not buying your line of bullshit. E-mail: [email protected] of his rhetorical manure in Christian terms. We elect leaders, not preachers. And Photo by: Larry Graham, GrahamStudioOne.COM Although Jindal has made sure every- political records are more important per- one knows he is a Christian, the effects of sonal morality. his policies are anything but Christian. His Bill Clinton got a blow job in the White Blaze Starr, Earl Long, and Bobby Jindal rejection of federal money to expand Med- House. So what? The economy boomed Blaze Starr, famed Bourbon Street stripper and Governor Earl Long’s mistress, died icaid has made people sicker and actually and we were at peace under Clinton. Edwin Monday, June 15, at the age of 83. Uncle Earl, as the legendary governor was often called, killed over 500 people. So much for healing Edwards shook down a casino executive. made national headlines when he began sharing a Bourbon Street apartment with Blaze, the sick. His endorsement of discrimination So what? He was the most effective Gov- the big-bosomed bombshell. Earl made no effort to hide the affair, nor did he hide the fact against LGBT people is nothing short of ernor this state has ever known. Earl Long that he chain-smoked cigarettes, he drank too much whiskey, he gambled on horses, or hateful. So much for loving your neighbor. ran around with strippers. So what? His that he partied with gangsters. A moral leader he was not. But he was a damn effective His cuts to higher education and his reduc- policies improved the lives of people. leader. tion of retirement benefits for state employ- Am I not going to vote for David Vitter Uncle Earl believed in education and baiting was de rigeur for Southern politi- ees are devastating. So much for doing because he has a diaper fetish and likes to he put his money where his mouth was. cians, Earl Long went hard against the unto others as you would have them do hire hookers? No. I will not vote for Vitter Over 1,000 elementary and secondary grain and championed civil rights. He unto you. because his policies are harmful and dan- schools were built under his tenure, as increased the number of African-Ameri- And in direct contradiction to the words gerous. were several colleges and vocational cans on the voting rolls from 7,000 in 1948 of Jesus in Mathew 6:5-6—”When you The right wing loves to talk about schools. He instituted a free hot lunch to 110,000 in 1959—and this long before pray, you are not to be like the hypocrites; morality as long as it has to do with sex. program for poor children. He increased the civil rights voting act of 1965. Long for they love to stand and pray in the They never talk about the immorality of war teacher pay and made sure black teachers vigorously opposed segregation. synagogues and on the street corners so or social injustice or bigotry or greed. were paid the same as white teachers. And The late great A.J. Liebling, award that they may be seen by men. Truly I say Governor Jindal, you may not have when LSU-NO (now UNO) opened in 1958, winning journalist for the New Yorker came to you, they have their reward in full. But approved of Uncle Earl’s behavior, but you he insisted that blacks be allowed to regis- to Louisiana to research Long after Long you, when you pray, go into your inner could sure learn something from it.