Jet-set to study Signing Day Summer study abroad options for students include Tribe football concludes recruiting season by signing College-run trips and outside programs. 12-member class for the 2008 season. See summer page 6 See football page 10

The twice-weekly student newspaper of the College of William and Mary F Est. 1911 VOL.97, NO.30 FRIDAY, February 8, 2008 FLATHATNEWS.COM president under review After turbulent day, Nichol rallies State delegates question BOV members, criticize Nichol’s leadership

By austin wright Flat Hat News Editor

Two days after Del. Tim Hugo ’86 (R-Fairfax) said on the floor of the House of Delegates that “William and Mary is becoming a joke,” four Board of Visitors members were summoned to Richmond yesterday for questioning by the House Privileges and Elections Committee. BOV members John Gerdelman ’75, Kathy Hornsby ’79, Anita Poston J.D. ’74 and Henry Wolf ’64 J.D. ’66, who are up for reappointment by the House, had to leave the BOV meeting in Williamsburg for ques- tioning in Richmond, where they were asked about recent controver- sies at the College. “They asked us a va- riety of questions about timhugo.com everything from the bias Tim Hugo ’86 (R-Fairfax) reporting to the cross issue to the sex show,” Hornsby said. “They were try- Brian mahoney — the flat hat ing to get a read on us to see if we’re being responsible [Ab o v e ] Nichol stands in front of student supporters before attending the dinner that concluded the BOV meeting yesterday. [Be l o w ] Nichol and his wife, stewards of the College.” Glenn George, are visibly moved by the hundreds of students who stood silently outside the Muscarelle Museum in support last night. In the past, the General Assembly has approved the governor’s BOV appointees with little scrutiny. Del. 400 students rally But last night was all a response to the Mark Cole (R-Spotsylvania), chair of the Privileges and controversy — the Wren cross, a revoked $12 Elections Committee and author of the summons letter, support for Nichol million dollar pledge and the Sex Workers’ said that the questioning of appointees is unusual but not Art Show, among others — that has mired unprecedented. By Brian mahoney Nichol’s tenure for the past year and a half “I’m pleased with the way it went,” Cole said. “The Flat Hat News Editor and incited calls for his resignation. various [delegates] got their points across, and I think The pro-Nichol crowd matched the voices the nominees will reevaluate some of their policies.” After a year characterized by outspoken of the vocal groups of bloggers, donors and He added that he is concerned with Nichol’s leader- protest, none seemed louder than the crowd state delegates who have all used their power ship, but he would not say whether he thinks Nichol’s of 400 that lined outside the Muscarelle Mu- to criticize Nichol’s presidency. And they did contract should be renewed. seum of Art last night — in almost complete so in silence — for the most part. In the months leading up to this week’s BOV meet- silence — to support College President Gene While the group said little as BOV mem- ing, Republican delegates hounded Nichol for con- Nichol. bers passed, they applauded loudly and sang tinuing to cause controversy more than a year after he At the rally, which at times seemed more the alma mater as Nichol approached the mu- drew national attention for removing the Wren Chapel like a candlelight vigil, there was no mention seum. cross from permanent display. Delegates Bob Marshall of the controversy that could end Nichol’s “There’s nothing quite like being at the (R-Prince William) and Brenda Pogge (R-James City) presidency. The group was focused on Nich- College of William and Mary,” a teary-eyed recently criticized Nichol for allowing the Sex Work- ol’s future, specifically the tentative contract Nichol told the crowd before he entered the ers’ Art show to appear on campus, and Hugo took the renewal on which the College’s Board of museum for a BOV dinner. Nichol, who said House floor Tuesday and asked Nichol to step down Visitors will soon vote. Several posters read that he had not expected the rally, told the when his contract expires in June. “Renew Nichol,” and many students wore crowd that he would never forget the night, “He’s a nice guy, but it just seems like there’s one T-shirts that read, “If President Nichol’s not welcome here, then neither am I.” See rally page 3 See bov page 3 website redesign Makeover for wm.edu By alex GuillÉn recent student opposition to the new she said. Flat Hat Assoc. News Editor logo, and although only two students The consulting firm originally made sat on the committee — Rojas and Pat- three different website mockups. The The College’s website, which re- rick Donaldson ’08 — they were care- mockup known as Concept One was ceives millions of visits each year, ful to include student opinions in each ultimately chosen. will receive a makeover in an effort to step of the process. Rojas said that the chosen design streamline the site and increase appeal In several separate visits last year, was her favorite. It incorporates large, to potential applicants. The new design representatives from mStoner, a web colorful pictures with a horizontal nav- was revealed last week. consultant company that has worked igation bar and information on College The process began last February with Princeton University and the news and events. when Provost Geoffrey Feiss initiated University of Virginia, talked with stu- “I think it brings the new and in- a committee to develop a new web dents, faculty and staff about the Col- teresting perspective that we are look- presence for the College. The commit- lege and what the website should be. ing for and expresses the William and tee included members of the College “Making sure the website is student- Mary community well, while easily administration, faculty, students and friendly and student-approved [was] a laying out the main links needed,” she alumni, as well as six representatives top priority,” Rojas said. “The decision said. from Information Technology. to use Concept One was supported by According to the project website, “The website need[ed] to be re- every member of [the] committee, all over 2,000 prospective and early ad- designed because right now it does the feedback we received and by Pro- mission students, a key demographic, not accurately represent our college,” vost Geoff Feiss and President Gene have been asked for feedback. committee member Sarah Rojas ’10 Nichol.” The College’s Law School, School said. “Sometimes people don’t real- Rojas added that feedback has been of Education and Virginia Institute of ize that many international viewers or positive overall. Marine Science will also receive new prospective students judge our college “Most all of the feedback we re- web pages based on the new main Courtesy of the re.web project solely on the website.” She added that ceived before the final concept was de- page. This is the design chosen to be the new College website. The content and photos are samples the current site is seven years old. cided on was in favor of Concept One, Rojas said the site is set to go live and will change to actual content when the website goes live. The College’s Law School, The committee kept in mind the and the support has only continued,” this summer. School of Education and the Virginia Institute of Marine Science will also receive new sites.

Inside Police Beat, page 2 Opinions, page 5 Variety, page 6 Sex Column, page 7 Reviews, page 8 Sports, page 10 Page 2 Friday, February 8, 2008 News Editor Brian Mahoney News Editor Austin Wright Deputy News Editor Maxim Lott Ne w s In s i g h t [email protected] This week in Flat Hat history

‘Stabilitas et Fides’ 1929 25 Campus Center, The College of William and Mary, Williamsburg, VA. 23185 Editorial Dept. (757) 221-3281 F Advertising Dept. (757) 221-3283 F Fax (757) 221-3242 Washington Hall was The Flat Hat — [email protected] officially opened for use. The News — [email protected] Variety — [email protected] Sports —­ [email protected] building, which cost $200,000 Reviews — [email protected] Opinions — [email protected] Advertising — [email protected] to construct, housed the biology Andy Zahn, Editor-in-Chief department on the ground floor, Ashley Baird, Managing Editor F Chase Johnson, Executive Editor while the upper floors were used Patrick Bisceglia, Business Manager F Helen Chacon, Accountant as lecture rooms and offices for Brian Mahoney, News Editor Kasi Kangarloo, Assoc. Reviews Editor Austin Wright, News Editor Genice Phillips, Assoc. Reviews Editor the departments of education, Maxim Lott, Deputy News Editor Nate Burgess, Graphics Editor English, fine arts, mathematics, Alice Hahn, Variety Editor Isshin Teshima, Insight Editor Jeff Dooley, Sports Editor Sarah Hays, Assoc. Insight Editor philosophy, Latin and modern Conor McKay, Reviews Editor Catherine Anderson, Copy Editor languages. Joe Kane, Opinions Editor Katie Bradshaw, Copy Editor Vanessa VanLandingham, Copy Chief Chelsea Caumont, Copy Editor Taylor Martindale, Copy Chief Gloria Dube, Copy Editor Spencer Atkinson, Photography Editor Annie Emison, Copy Editor Alex Haglund, Photography Editor Leah Fry, Copy Editor 1952 Max Fisher, Chief Staff Writer Josh Garstka, Copy Editor Angela Cota, Assoc. News Editor Meghan O’Malley, Copy Editor Alex Guillén, Assoc. News Editor Katie McCown, Copy Editor The College announced Carl Siegmund, Assoc. News Editor Lauren Summers, Copy Editor that, in addition to the general Kara Starr, Assoc. News Editor Mike Crump, Production Assistant Ashley Morgan, Assoc. Variety Editor Summer Finck, Production Assistant physical education courses Miles Hilder, Assoc. Sports Editor Jessica Gold, Production Assistant Courtesy photo — wikipedia Commons required for female students, Andrew Pike, Assoc. Sports Editor Matt Poms, Production Assistant Erin Grady, Assoc. Opinions Editor Maggie Reeb, Production Assistant A $5 million donation was mailed from a Wells Fargo bank branch in Arizona to Temple University. junior and senior women could Sarah Sibley, Assoc. Opinions Editor Pam Snyder, Production Assistant now choose to take one of three Corrections Beyond the burg new P.E. courses, including history of dance composition In last Friday’s news article, “Powell endorses McCain,” The Flat Hat misspelled Stephen Salvato’s ’10 name. In the front-page story “Sex, art and outrage,” sex worker Annie Oakley said that Attourney General Bob University receives $5 million anonymously and forms. McDonnell called her before the show to prevent her from selling merchandise. McDonnell says that he did not call Oakley. Donation arrives in unmarked envelopes, sent via U.S. mail 1973 Weather By Isshin Teshima prank.” However, since they the money as long as $4 million Friday Saturday Sunday Flat Hat Insight Editor were cashier’s checks issued were used to endow a scholar- As part of a facelift to the by the bank, Sullivan deduced ship for women and minorities Colonial Williamsburg area, five Temple University received that the checks were probably while $1 million could be used new shop openings on Prince

a surprise last week when two genuine. for whatever the university George Street were announced. checks worth a total of $5 mil- “It’s not unusual for donors wished. Also, the donors asked Among the stores slated to open

High 59 High 65 High 48 lion were found in the mail. to want to remain anonymous the school to give regular up- in the spring were The Cheese Low 43 Low 40 Low 25 The two letters, one contain- and it’s not unusual to receive dates through the Wells Fargo Shop, The Peanut Shop and Source: www.weather.com ing $1 million check and the large checks like this,” Sulli- officer as to how the institution Baskin-Robbins Ice Cream. other containing a $4 million van told the Philadelphia Daily was spending the money. check, were each placed in un- News. The checks have already Quotes of the Week marked, regular envelopes and However, Sullivan admitted been put to good use, as Tem- 1982 Sometimes people don’t realize that many sent via standard U.S. mail. that the donation method was ple University is currently con- Each envelope was addressed quite unique. ducting its first comprehensive Eight students were international viewers or prospective to the executive director of an- “It is completely unusual fundraising campaign. With the arrested Feb. 4 on charges of students judge our college solely on the nual giving at the university. not to receive prior notice from addition of the two anonymous stealing approximately $2,500 “ website. The signature on the check re- the donors, or representatives donations, the university has of furniture from campus — Sarah Rojas ’10 explaining the motivation to change the vealed that it was signed by a of the donors, that the checks now raised $285 million to- buildings. Campus Police College’s website. bank representative of a Wells are in the mail,” he said. ward its $350 million goal. recovered chairs, desks, sofas, See REWEB page 1 Fargo branch somewhere in The university made fur- As for the addressee of the beds, tables, lamps and chests ” Arizona. ther contact with the bank to letters, Executive Director of of drawers. One of the students Stuart Sullivan, the univer- attempt to discern the identity Annual Giving Nicole Steiner was caught stealing a television News in Brief sity’s vice president of univer- of the mystery donor; however, was more than surprised. from the Tri Delta house, which sity advancement, proceeded the donor requested to retain “She had never seen checks led to the discovery of the other Obama adviser to speak at the College to follow up on the checks to anonymity. of that size anytime in her life- stolen items. make sure they were authentic Moreover, the donor stated time,” Sullivan said. “It was Retired Gen. Merrill A. McPeak, former chief of staff of the Air Force, and not some “bizarre student that the university could have quite a thrill for her.” — compiled by Sarah Hays will be speaking at the College today at 1 p.m. in McGlothlin-Street Hall. McPeak will discuss engaging voters in the current political environment and will also speak about U.S. foreign policy in the 21st century. Street Beat During his military career, McPeak served as a fighter pilot for various squadrons, including the prestigious Thunderbirds. Can you name someone on the Board of Visitors? In the 2004 Presidential election, McPeak, a former Republican, served as an advisor for Massachusetts Sen. John Kerry’s campaign and is currently one of Barack Obama’s top national security advisers. The event is sponsored by the College chapter of Students for Barack Obama and is free to the public.

College offers summer classes in D.C.

This past Wednesday, the College announced four classes that will be offered this summer in Washington D.C. The courses, divided into two sessions, will include three English classes and one philosophy class. I honestly know, Bob McDonnell, Dr. Drew from Celebrity Rehab. Michael Powell, he’s a douche Jordana B. Coiner, the famous During the first summer session, lasting from May 27 to June 27, the Attorney General of Virginia, is bag. He’s directly responsible for hairstylist. English classes “The Harlem Renaissance in Washington” and “Language a douche bag. not allowing us to say ‘douche of the Land: Literary Washington, D.C.” will be offered. bag’ on WCWM. During the second summer session, lasting from June 30 to Aug. 1, Daniel Idziak ’08 Jordan Coiner ’08 Thomas Dickens ’10 Emily Sherbin ’08 the philosophy class “Ethics” and English class “Preserving American — photos and interviews by Spencer Atkinson Culture and Letters” will be offered. The W&M in Washington Summer Session allows students to take General Education Requirements and major/minor courses at the Wash- campus Police Beat ington campus of the College. All fees will be equivalent to those of the summer sessions offered at the Williamsburg campus. Jan. 29 to Feb. 4

— by Isshin Teshima Tuesday, Jan. 29 — A student reported that an unknown individual was stealing Flex Points from her account. Approximately $65 in Flex Points were stolen. By the Numbers — A student called to report the theft of her bass clarinet from Ewell Hall Jan. 25. The instrument is valued between $3,000 and $4,000. 1 81,065 Wednesday, Jan. 30 — Staff at the Graduate Housing Complex reported damage to five ground lights. Staff The number of living College alumni, according to the College website. estimated the replacement cost of each light to be between 5 $400 and $500. Police determined that several lights were not damaged as severely and could be repaired for less. 2 1:15 a.m. Thursday, Jan. 31 —A student reported the theft of his bike from Ewell Hall. Its estimated value is $300. 1 The average bedtime of college students on weekends, based on a survey — A professor from Rogers Hall called to report the theft 3 published in the Journal of American College Health. The average of personal documents. The professor later called back to bedtime on weekdays is 11:40 p.m. say that the documents could possibly be in a classroom and that he would call after the class in progress in the room had ended. The professor failed to report back to the police. 3 4 14 billion — A student reported that his laptop was stolen from Rogers room 100 around 3:30 p.m. The student later called The number of pencils produced worldwide every year, according to the to say that his professor had seen the laptop unattended in the Musgrave Pencil Company. classroom and had taken it for safekeeping. 3 Friday, Feb. 1 — A caller reported that a pipe had broken 1 on the third floor of Landrum Hall. The water fountain had 842 been pushed away from the wall causing the pipe to break. Damage to the building is estimated at $500. 4 The number of “super-delegates” in the Democratic primary. These unpledged Monday, Feb. 4 — A student from Unit B called to report delegates make up nearly 40 percent of the Democratic delegates needed to 2 the theft of a jacket and iPod from their room. The total win the nomination and could decide the primary winner. estimated value of the items is $400. 5

— by Maxim Lott — Compiled by Sarah Hays Friday, February 8, 2008 Page 3 Students, faculty rally in Delegate critical of Nichol support of Pres. Nichol Hugo ’86 says College is “becoming a joke” BOV from page 1 choosing College BOV mem- swayed by competing public Dean’s Advisory Council says Nichol’s presidency unfairly bers. battles.” controversy after another, and I In December, though, BOV Yesterday Nichol’s contract characterized as “controversial” think it’s hurting the College,” Rector Michael Powell ’85 said did not come up during the day- Hugo said in a telephone inter- he would not let any outside long BOV meeting, but about RALLY from page 1 event. “I think it was better than engagement in ideas and ideals view with The Flat Hat. group influence the decision of 15 students showed up to show expected.” that may erupt in disagreement, “It’s not good when you’re whether to renew Nichol’s con- support for the president. “no matter what happened.” Shukla said that he and others debate or controversy,” the let- constantly making the news tract. Today, BOV members meet When asked about the ongo- organized the event to combat ter said. “We accept disagree- because of a feather or a cross “Too many people are try- in Blow Hall from 10 a.m. to ing controversy surrounding his those that have opposed Nichol ment and debate, and we expect or a show highlighting illegal ing to control the perception of noon, and the agenda says that presidency, Nichol acknowl- in the past. them. It is through rational and activity.” what’s going on,” Powell said. they could go into closed ses- edged that change inevitably is “A very vocal minority has reasonable discussion of differ- On the floor, Hugo said that “This is too serious for us to be sion during that time. followed by conflict. been able to control a lot of the ences that our fields move -for the mention of his alma mat- “Sometimes when you try to media outlets and just a lot of ward and our students learn.” er elicits snickers and jokes stand up for some things you the thoughts on the president,” Heideman said that Nichol among his colleagues in the believe in there’s rough going,” Shukla said. is rarely recognized for the de- General Assembly and that Nichol said. “There is inspira- “We think that there’s a large velopments he has brought to Nichol’s leadership is causing tion to be found in ways that I majority of students that are be- campus. Both Heideman and the the College’s stock to plummet wouldn’t have anticipated and hind the president and we think letter mentioned three indicators relative to other state universi- there are a lot of paths to the hu- this [rally] is a concerted effort of Nichol’s accomplishments at ties. man heart.” just to show the BOV, who’s the College: a greater interest This barrage of Nichol criti- Nichol said that the challenge going to make the ultimate de- in and focus on undergraduate cism from state lawmakers may was worth it. cision, that students are behind research, the College’s attempt be a sign that those who divvy “I’ve said about this place the president. And, frankly, it’s at internationalization and the out state funds to public institu- before that it’s a challenge,” he just to have the student voice increased importance placed on tions are trying to take a larger said. “It requires all that one can heard in the process.” civic engagement, both locally role in managing the College. muster, but it’s spending every- Nichol was also supported and internationally. Last year Marshall tried to cut thing you’ve got in the worthiest by the Dean’s Advisory Council The letter also said that a Nichol’s salary in half, and this of causes, that cause, of course, last night which wrote a letter to failure to renew Nichol’s con- year he proposed a bill that BRIAN MAHONEY - THE FLAT HAT is these young men and wom- the BOV supporting Nichol and tract would harm students and would give alumni a voice in SA President Zach Pilchen and students at the BOV meeting. en.” arguing that his presidency has faculty. Nichol also said that he had been unfairly characterized as “We do not expect a College not expected the gathering, “controversial.” President who does not make which was spearheaded by Ni- The advisory council is com- mistakes. Nor do we wish to RIAA targets 15 students mish Shukla ’08. Shukla had prised of individual department have a College President who also accompanied BOV mem- chairs and program directors at never inspires controversy, much College refuses to release The envelope also contained a second letter from bers to Richmond yesterday the College. less imagines his or her mission the law firm representing the RIAA and a “number morning after the members were In a letter signed by co-chairs as a limiting controversy on this names in illegal music of large record companies.” In this letter, dated Jan. called to answer to the House Maureen Fitzgerald and Paul campus. 9, 2007, the student was accused of illegally dis- Privileges and Elections Com- Heideman, the council said that “We do expect a College downloading lawsuits tributing 77 songs through LimeWire, a file-sharing mittee, mostly about the recent controversy is expected at a lib- president who is a leader and website. He was informed that he could either settle Sex Workers’ Art Show contro- eral arts institution. whose ideas can strengthen the By ALISAN VANFLEET for $3,000 or face a lawsuit, in which case the RIAA versy. “Our mission on this campus, College, the commonwealth, and Flat Hat Staff Writer would seek a minimum of $750 per song. “I think we got our message as in every liberal arts setting, the nation. We believe President Toward the end of the letter, in bold and capital across,” Shukla said after the by definition includes thoughtful Nichol meets that standard.” Approximately 15 students at the College are letters, was the statement: “If you do not resolve facing possible federal lawsuits filed by a firm rep- our claims against you within twenty (20) calendar resenting the Recording Industry Association of days from the date of this letter, then we will file America regarding the illegal distribution of music suit against you in federal court.” The letter ended files through the College’s network. with advice to seek legal counsel. SA rejects vote on Nichol One of the students, who requested to remain “The really shitty part is that the letter was dated SIGN Act proposed to put question: “Do you believe Gene anonymous, provided details on the situation. the [Jan.] 9, and I got it on [Jan.] 29,” the student “I got an e-mail from [Assistant Vice President said. “So basically I was given four hours to put Nichol’s contract should be renewed” on March ballot for Student Affairs] Ginger Ambler on Tuesday, a credit card on a website and pay $3,000. I didn’t Jan. 29, that said I had a letter in the Campus Center feel I was able to do that given I didn’t have the By RUSS ZERBO “Do you believe Gene Nichol’s and pending legislation, and Kyri- that I needed to pick up,” he said. “I knew it was time to consult a lawyer.” Flat Hat Staff Writer contract should be renewed?” to a os was not present to issue updates bad.” He expressed concern that, even by settling with referendum vote during the March on three pieces of pending legisla- Enclosed in the envelope was a letter from Am- the RIAA, he may still face the expense of lawsuits The Student Assembly passed SA general election. Pilchen de- tion. “Kyrios needs to pick up the bler, currently serving in place of Vice President for filed independently by other label companies. the Reject HB 118 Act and the fended his veto by saying that slack,” Beato said after the meet- Student Affairs Sam Sadler, who is recovering from The student has yet to hear anything more from Funding Interference Act during the referendum oversimplifies the ing. surgery. Her letter informed the student that he had the law firm representing the RIAA. He has spoken last Tuesday’s meeting and failed complicated issue. “[The] SA is proving to be a received one of many letters “sent to students at uni- to Student Legal Services and is currently waiting to override the veto of the SIGN “It’s too nuanced to say yes or very draining source of my time versities nationwide as part of what appears to be a to hear back from a law professor who assisted stu- Referendum Act by SA President no,” he said. “We don’t want to and I don’t quite have time to fol- concerted effort to address copyright violation.” dents in a similar situation last year. Zach Pilchen ’09. seem so immature to the Board of low up on everything,” Kyrios Ambler’s letter notified the student that the “At this point, I guess I’m facing a lawsuit,” the The Reject HB 118 Act, spon- Visitors.” later responded. “I’m considering RIAA had tracked his illegal distribution through student explained. “Hopefully, I can find a -law sored by Senator Walter McClean “What I think is immature is leaving the senate and will leave his Internet Protocol, or IP, address. Though his yer who is versed in such a new phenomenon and ’09, passed 16-1-0. According to to not make a decision,” Sen. Ray the directorship of Internal Affairs name was not released to the RIAA, the law firm something as specific as copyright laws.” the bill, it “encourages the Senate Ciabatonni ’10 responded. “It’s a pending the confirmation of my representing the RIAA made clear their intent to As of yet, the College has not sought to bring of the General Assembly as well as tool for the BOV and it’s a tool for successor.” subpoena the College for personal information. any disciplinary action in this case. that body’s Committee on Educa- the campus.” tion and Health to reject HB 118.” The main issue debated was Section 22 of HB 118 requires whether or not a referendum that public colleges issue reports would provide an accurate rep- to the Virginia General Assembly resentation of the student body’s regarding student activities. Some opinion. “I want the voices of senators felt that this stipulation students to actually carry, and the would infringe on the College’s way you do that is take a poll or a sovereignty. referendum,” Beato said. “The school would have to Sen. Matt Skibiak ’08 answered keep the state [apprised] of all Beato by saying that a poll, rather its programming,” Pilchen said. than a referendum, would provide “Any time politics gets involved a more accurate representation of with campus programming, it gets students’ opinions because only ugly.” about half of students will vote in HB 118 has already been the general election. The previous passed by the Virginia House of SA General Election set a record Delegates and is now in the Sen- with 60 percent of students vot- ate’s Education and Health Com- ing. mittee. McClean also presented seven The Funding Interference Act, new pieces of business, including sponsored by McClean and Senate a bill that criticizes the RIAA for Chairman Matt Beato ’09, passed using questionable means to tar- 15-0-1 and, “calls upon the Col- get students accused of stealing lege Administration and the Board music. The other bills presented of Visitors to reaffirm its support ranged from protecting profes- for student sovereignty in the al- sors to installing web cams in high location of student fees.” The Bill traffic areas on campus so students is a reaction to Michael Powell’s can check if an area is crowded. recent comments addressing, “the For the third week in a row, need to develop a more coherent Beato conducted updates on past policy involving the allocation of limited College resources.” Both bills address the issues Cl a s s i f i e d that have come to light during the controversy over funding for the Feb. 4 Sex Workers’ Art Show. Headache? Neck pain? Back The SA is attempting to retain its pain? Sports injury? Stress? independence regarding the fund- We can help. Visit www.per- ing of on-campus programs and formancechiropractic.com to events. see how CHIRORPACTIC, The veto override of the SIGN APUCPUNTURE, and MASSAGE help you be your Referendum Act, sponsored by best. For more information, or Senator Alex Kyrios ’09, failed to schedule an appointment, with a vote of 10-9-0, less than call Performance Chiropractic the required three-fourths of the at 229-4161. (ad authorized by votes, and was the most hotly de- Dr. Daniel Shaye, chiropractic bated issue of the evening. The physician, W&M 1990) bill proposed to put the question: Page 4 Friday, February 8, 2008 Survey: faculty want higher salaries 81 percent satisfied with position at the College

By Angela Cota This is significantly higher than at all other Flat Hat Assoc. News Editor four-year universities, for which the result was 43.2 percent. However, participation In a 2006 survey that was released at in the 2003 survey was only 37.8 percent, yesterday’s Board of Visitors meeting, 81 while the College’s faculty response rate to percent of faculty reported feeling “very this survey was 73 percent. satisfied” or “moderately satisfied” with Seventy-one percent of faculty dis- their position at the College. agreed or strongly disagreed that they This figure is part of a detailed faculty spend the same amount of time on teach- brian mahoney — the flat hat survey written and administered by the ing as on research. Fifty-one percent said Will Sealy ’09 has restarted Steer Clear, the organization that provides transportation for students weekend nights. Faculty Assembly. that they spent more time on teaching than “Generally speaking, the faculty are on research; 73 percent disagreed that they very satisfied to be here,” Provost Geoffrey spent more time on research than teaching. Feiss said. A slight majority in the schools of busi- Steer Clear gears back up Faculty satisfaction registered as 78 per- ness and education disagreed that they cent in 2003 and 86 percent in 1999 (the spent more time on teaching than on re- By Sarah Owermohle year when a driver offered him a ride Pilchen ’09, the Greeks agreed to place survey is administered every three years). searching. Sixty-eight percent of natural Flat Hat Staff Writer to a friend’s house. the organization in Sealy’s hands. Only 3 percent described themselves as sciences in the school of Arts & Sciences, “Suddenly, [I] realized that I got Sealy was left to write a constitution, “very dissatisfied” in 2006, while 5 and 4 80 percent in the Marshall-Wythe School Starting tonight, the Steer Clear from point A to point B safely and eas- a petition and, most importantly, advo- percent chose “very dissatisfied” in 2003 of Law and 90 percent in the Virginia In- program will be running under new ily; it was just really nice to know we cate for SA funding. and 1999, respectively. stitute of Marine Science disagreed. In the leadership, this time with paid student had something like that,” Sealy said. The bill passed, and Steer Clear Out of a list of 16 goals to address, fac- school of Arts & Sciences, 81 percent of drivers and co-pilots. But upon discovering that it was not had its funding, with a proposed $8/ ulty members ranked salaries, research and the humanities and 60 percent of social sci- The organization, which was origi- running the next week, and rarely hour for both drivers and co-pilots. student financial aid as the highest priori- ences faculty strongly agreed or agreed that nally run by campus fraternities and ran on a regular basis, Sealy began to Katherine Eklund ’11 had her own ties. For departments in the undergraduate they spend more time on teaching than on sororities, is now an independent question the program. reasons for joining. Arts and Sciences, these goals were al- research. group funded by the Student Assem- “What’s the point of having some- “I became interested in this pro- ways ranked as the top three in that order; Majorities in the latter two areas were bly. Other changes include extended thing that’s great but not reliable?” he gram because my dad was killed by a other academic areas’ choices varied, but dissatisfied with the balance between hours and the addition of Thursday asked. He investigated the structure of drunk driver when I was four. I know these three areas almost always prevailed teaching and research, though combined night to the schedule. The new orga- the program and found that just a few firsthand how a drunk driver can- af (though in varying orders) over the other responses yielded a 53 percent satisfaction nization also promises more reliability years ago, when Greeks were required fect the lives of many innocent peo- 13 choices. rate for the same subject. Seventy-three and increased safety for both passen- to participate, it had run regularly. ple,” she said. “I hope that Steer Clear “We know that we have salary problems percent reported they would like to spend gers and drivers. The national Greek organiztions brings up the issue of drunk driving here,” Feiss said. more time on research. Slight majorities in “In the old service there were not heard about the program and feared and is an impetus for social change on Feiss said there were two ways to inter- nearly all the academic departments except a lot of rules and regulations that con- a lawsuit. “They backed out, and our campus. I have faith that our commu- pret salary dissatisfaction. Either people those of the Virginia Institute of Marine ducted the atmosphere of the van,” Di- chapters at William and Mary were no nity can rally behind this issue.” are thinking about leaving, or the College Science feel pressure to do more research rector Will Sealy ’09 said. Sealy wrote longer required to make their members For Sealy, the aim is longevity. has a faculty strong enough that they can than they are currently doing. a constitution for the organization, drive,” Sealy said. The organization “I want to come back in five or 10 consider going somewhere else. Majorities of professors in the Arts which includes a required Defensive collapsed due to lack of volunteers. years and know that this service is still Dissatisfaction with research support & Sciences humanities, social sciences Driving course and outlines the duties “I wanted it to be an employer/ up and running in its original format. (63 percent) and salary (60 percent) were and natural sciences departments and the of both drivers and co-pilots of the ve- employee relationship, where the em- That’s what I really care about in do- the top two reasons faculty expressed for schools of business and law said that they hicle. ployer would tell them exactly what ing all of this.” putting themselves back on the job market. do not spend more time researching than “Drivers are in command of the was expected and they were held to The launch of Steer Clear was orig- FA President Alan Meese said faculty teaching. Majorities in the school of law vehicle ... while the co-pilots are in their obligation,” he said. “While I inally scheduled for last weekend, but satisfaction follows economic trends and and VIMS said that they do. charge of everything else,” he said. love the idea of volunteers, it didn’t was pushed back for a thorough risk that in years when there are more salary This is the sixth time the survey has “What we’re looking for is people prove itself to be a workable system.” examination. The program will begin increases, satisfaction is higher. been administered; it is given to full-time who can handle intense situations.” After numerous meetings, Sealy’s this weekend at 9:30 p.m. and can be In the last two years, 62 percent of fac- tenured and tenure-eligible faculty. Sealy first became interested in the election to the SA cabinet and lengthy contacted at 757-221-DRIV until 2:30 ulty considered permanently leaving their Flat Hat News Editor Austin Wright Steer Clear program in his sophomore discussions with SA President Zach a.m. positions; this rate was 69 percent in 2003. contributed to this report. Friday, February 8, 2008 Page 5 Opinions Editor Joe Kane Associate Opinions Editor Erin Grady Associate Opinions Editor Sarah Sibley Op i n i o n s [email protected] Staff Editorial GA inquiry troubling or the second time in less than a month, General Assembly members are attempting to wheedle control of the College. This Wednesday, Del. Mark Cole (R-Spotsylvania) brought Ffour members of the College’s Board of Visitors before legislators to discuss controversies at the school. On the same day, Del. Timothy Hugo ’82 (R-Fairfax) expressed his embarrassment for his alma mater, saying the College was “becoming a joke.” In light of its continued meddling, we fear the General Assembly may be flirting with a laughable reputation itself. As with other recent efforts to intervene in College governance, Cole’s request to hear four BOV members immediately prior to their confirmations smacks of political opportunism, micromanagement and is wholly inappropriate. On this point, Del. Clarence Phillips’s (D-Dickenson) comments during the questioning were particularly instructive. Phillips encour- aged BOV members to uphold the College’s reputation and insisted they make certain the College is “known for all the right reasons.” While the wording itself is vague, we are not so naive as to believe The timing of this inquiry leads anyone other than Phillips and us to believe some delegates his ideological cohorts would be may be eying Nichol’s recon- determining which reasons were firmation as a litmus test when “right.” reappointing BOV members. Del. Jeffrey Frederick (R-Prince William), in an appar- ent misunderstanding of his powers, indicated what that “right” direction could be. “Maybe we should reconsider Mr. Nichol’s tenure,” he said Wednesday. He, like several others, seems to have forgotten that Nichol’s tenure is not a matter for the General Assembly to decide. By Ol i v i a Wa l c h , Fl a t Ha t Ca r t oo n i s t Implying that confirmation to the BOV might hinge on similar intentions is no better. The timing of this inquiry leads us to believe some delegates may be eying Nichol’s reconfirmation as a litmus test when reappointing BOV members. In the past, only one BOV candidate, James Dillard, Online survey Praestare perplexes has failed confirmation, and then only because he had recently changed party affiliation. That a few delegates might like to see the what our next move will be. College’s BOV prospects grilled like Supreme Court nominees is I don’t doubt that the project’s authors and sponsors are worrying. Dan Piepenbring very intelligent people who want what’s best for us. I accept, For as much as it has become fashionable to criticize the con- Flat Hat staff Columnist furthermore, that distraught and lost students might find a troversy at the College, we hope the General Assembly will exer- friend in Praestare. But why proffer a website as a stand-in for cise the restraint necessary to not interfere. It will be exceedingly face-to-face counseling? What good can come of trusting a difficult for the College to maintain its reputation as a great and program to do a psychiatrist’s job? public institution if it is also condemned to being a ward of the Just out of curiosity: Can you verbalize and quantify all My own LVI was accurate, albeit reductive. To Praestare, state. your goals and beliefs? Could you dramatically improve your I most value achievement, creativity, belonging and concern quality of living by weighing “positive life values”? Is becom- for others; I least value financial prosperity and spirituality. But ing a better person as easy as taking a 20-minute survey? this index holds true only at the broadest level. My “concern Money can buy happiness The Praestare Project, available via a link in the myWM for others,” for instance, might fulfill the same requirements portal, says yes. Touted as “A Values-Based Personal as “spirituality” without being explicitly God-oriented; this is The 2006 faculty satisfaction we were to suggest that College Development Program” and a “Life Values Inventory (LVI),” what secular humanism is all about. And on some days — hell, survey is in, and the results are employees were focused solely the website is sponsored by the Counseling Center. And it is, on some hours — I respect independence more than belong- clear: money does buy hap- on their salaries. A tight budget to me, more than a little bit creepy. ing. On those occasions and others, piness. It’s also clear that the not only hits the paychecks, Praestare is Latin; pronounced Praestare believes our aspirations Praestare’s got me all wrong. recent budget cuts won’t be but influences course load and “preh-star-uh,” the project defines it Far from missing the forest for the can be loaded into a hierarchy. Plug improving faculty members’ hiring practices as well. So, as “to excel, to fulfill, to be respon- trees, Praestare misses the trees for the opinions of their jobs. although 81 percent of profes- sible for.” In short, this survey aims our hopes and dreams into a com- forest. The survey boils down human Although professors are sors said they were pleased with to clarify your ambitions. Its six steps puter and out comes the prognosis. potential until it’s no more than a series happier now than they were their current positions, they also are brimming with vague jargon: of clickable traits. Complicated sub-val- than the last time they were were concerned with receiving “Crystallizing” and “Prioritizing” ues, nature versus nurture, mood shifts surveyed, history tells us the more work without a commen- values, “Strategies for Optimal Expression of Values,” and peer pressure — the stuff that causes problems in the first lean years ahead may be trying surate increase in pay. “Managing Life Transitions.” Looking for fun things to do this place — disappear. The only thing standing between you and — satisfaction was highest (86 We understand state cuts will weekend? Try the “Leisure Activities Locator.” your desires is a big time-management chart. percent) in 1999 immediately force the College to do more The questionnaire asks you to rate the degree to which Self-help book sales are booming right now, and the hot- following wage increases and with less, but a university that certain values “guide your behavior” on a scale of one to five test titles make promises eerily similar to Praestare’s. Rhonda lowest (78 percent) after cuts in prides itself on undergraduate — a misleading exercise, to say the least. What’s most impor- Byrne’s “The Secret” has topped the Times’ hardcover advice 2003. We don’t believe this was teaching can ill afford to lose tant to you: God, money, art, nature, exercise, alone time? bestseller list for 55 weeks. Her thesis declares that constant coincidental. the very people who make it Decide. Right now. On a scale of one to five. positive thinking is a magnet that attracts unbridled success We’d be remiss, however, if great. See SURVEY, page 4. Trickier still is its tendency to rephrase the same values in all walks of life. It’s free will run amok: If you want some- in different language. On page one, you rank “Believing in thing enough, it will be yours. Andy Zahn, Editor-in-Chief a higher power;” on page two, this reappears as “Believing Maybe it really is this simple. Maybe our objectives fit Ashley Baird, Managing Editor — Chase Johnson, Executive Editor that there is something greater than ourselves.” Page one’s into a few intuitive categories and happiness requires only per- Austin Wright, News Editor — Andrew Peters, Editorial Writer “Having financial success” becomes page two’s “Making sistence. Perhaps if subscribing to Praestare were mandatory, money;” “Being sensitive to others’ needs” is “Helping oth- the College would face no more catastrophes, disagreements The Flat Hat welcomes submissions to the Opinions section. Letters to the Editor may ers,” etc. Page three has even more rewordings. Surely there’s or conflicts of interest, leaving the student body steeped in be no longer than 250 words and Opinions columns no longer than 700 words. Submis- a psychological rationale to this, but it strikes me as deceptive. good news. However, all it takes is one act of fate, one victim sions should be e-mailed to [email protected] no later than 5 p.m. Sunday for publication the following Tuesday and 5 p.m. Wednesday for the following Friday. The At its core, Praestare operates under a dubious assertion: of circumstance and the illusion is shattered. Praestare grants Flat Hat reserves the right to edit all material. Due to space constraints, The Flat Hat Personalities and values are formulaic. Praestare believes our you total control of the future. Just out of curiosity: Do you may not publish all submissions. All staff editorials reflect the position of The Flat Hat. aspirations can be loaded into a hierarchy. Plug our hopes and have that? And do you want it? Letters, columns, graphics and cartoons reflect the view of the author only. dreams into a computer and out comes the prognosis. It knows Dan Piepenbring is a senior at the College. Censorship, corruption as College bends to outside pressure

banned photography, thus censoring both loyalty tests of the Spanish Inquisition. — has succeeded in swaying our leaders predominant in both books of the Bible. the show and the students in attendance. But the GA is not seeking out Protestants from Williamsburg to Richmond. Corruption is not the glorification of the Max Fisher The Board of Visitors allowed — potential BOV members tolerant of Should a three-century-old academic human form, an artistic tradition includ- Flat Hat chief staff writer Nichol’s censorship and is thus free speech are the subjects of this politi- institution be guided neither by academ- ing Michaelangelo’s “David,” the Venus complicit. Rector Michael Powell hinted cal tribunal. ics nor students, but rather by a smatter- de Milo, “Ulysses.” Corruption is not the that the BOV may restrict what students Why this backslide into censorship ing of overwrought ideologues with no discourse of new, diverse ideas. can choose to bring to campus with our and witch-hunting? After all, this is the investment other than their own selfish Corruption is the censorship of This week the College suffered at the own money, citing “the need to develop Art Show’s third visit, never before with pride? Are the voices most valued those that discourse and those ideas because hands of nearly every leader we have. a more coherent policy involving the this insanity. What drove our leaders to neither of wisdom nor reason but of vol- they are new, because they are diverse. Though the Sex Workers’ Art Show allocation of limited College resources.” ume? Corruption is breaking all the principles received overwhelming endorsement But the worst has been Virginia’s Because the ideologues lack the tact So begins the ruinous precedent of free expression simply because a from our community — the Student General Assembly. Four members of that decisions be made not in regard for small group of meddling ideologues find Assembly voted to fund it, nearly two the Board of Visitors, already appointed or discipline for any but the shrillest students and professors, the members that expression distasteful. Corruption dozen student groups joined to host it, but awaiting the legislative approval tones, College leadership allows them of the academic community that will is the willful cessation of academic and the vast majority of voices on cam- traditionally no more than a rubber to overpower the College community. bear those decisions, but only to appease thought. pus called out in support of it — the stamp, must now stand before the GA those self-righteous few. Our leaders have taken the first step leaders of the College have opposed it to, according to the Virginia Gazette, The priorities have been set: mini- in yielding control to a small group of and, in doing so, opposed the College “be grilled” on the Art Show. Delegates create what Art Show founder and direc- mize criticism first, respect the self-rule meddlesome extremists who lack the community itself. “want to ask the candidates some tor Annie Oakley called “a more arduous of the institution second. Because the knowledge, the experience and the right The opposition has taken many ‘pointed questions’ about their views on and degrading experience than anything ideologues lack the tact or discipline to lay their hands on our education. forms. College President Gene Nichol Monday’s Sex Workers’ Art Show” as in the sex industry”? for any but the shrillest tones, College If our leaders lack the strength to lead disparaged the College’s choice to host well as, surprise surprise, the Wren cross. The reason is an absurd one. The sole leadership allows them to overpower the on Jeffersonian principles of free dis- the Art Show on a tour that includes The GA’s worst crime is not in med- motivation is the vitriol spewed forth College community. Our so-called lead- course and expression in the face of ret- Duke and Wesleyan Universities: “I wish dling in the College’s day-to-day affairs, from a handful of extremists, few of ership has become an instrument in the rogressive agitation, then they should not that the show were not coming to the but in creating an ideological “test” on whom have a damn thing to do with the corruption of the very institution they are abandon that leadership to the agitators, College.” personal political views. The BOV mem- College or our community. charged to safeguard. as they have done, but to the students Nichol severely censored the show, bers know an honest answer to this pub- This tiny group — mostly over- For corruption is not the viewing and professors who stand to suffer by forbidding nudity though nudity is cen- lic test may prevent them from rejoining emotional locals and distantly removed of a show that acknowledges the exis- their cowardice. tral to the show’s artistic discussion. He the Board, an implicit threat akin to the alumni still bitter over the Wren cross tence of the world’s oldest profession, Max Fisher is a senior at the College. Page 6 Friday, February 8, 2008

Variety Editor Alice Hahn Associate Variety Editor Ashley Morgan Va r i e t y [email protected] confusion corner Spring fever Jet-set summers Summer offers a more flexible study leaves little to abroad option for students wary of the imagination missing a semester on campus By Betsy Dougert because they’re The Flat Hat often taught by faculty, so you get Charlotte Savino Each year, approximately 600 students from the to know a professor Flat hat COLUMNIST College study abroad, according to the Reves Center well. And the Reves for International Studies. While students differ in Center has a lot to their reasons for going abroad, one of the most offer for people from common motivation students cite is the opportunity every major.” te olsen The warm weather we enjoyed this week really to take classes that enhance their majors. The increasing courtesy photo — ka seemed like a godsend. Birds chirping, Barksdale Kurt Steinhouse ’08 chose to study abroad in popularity of summer Rachelle Hunt ’09, Kate Olsen ’09 and Debby iKlosko n v o l v’09 e d mud-field drying, Frisbee throwing in the Sunken Rome during the spring of 2007 to enhance his art study abroad programs pose in front of the Charles Bridge over inPrague’s athletics Vltava. and, for Garden — it was all too perfect. Something had to history major. such as these has others, the financial challenges dictate be amiss, and I’m not talking about climate change. “I took classes on Baroque Rome and medieval prompted the College to the need to seek out exchange programs,” Geary My suspicions were confirmed when the cleavage Rome and a drawing and landscape painting class, develop new programs. This summer, the Mason said. “So, we have been intentional in pursuing a came out, see-through fabrics were in abundance and both of which I enjoyed a lot,” he said. “All of my School of Business will launch a new summer study summer program offered later in the summer … to open-toed, high-heeled sandals were spotted in, of classes were on-site so, I never looked at a single abroad program in Budapest. allow for the possibility of work or an early summer all the places, the Rec Center. slide the entire time I was there. You learn so much “As part of our strategic plan for the undergraduate internship.” The program will begin July 10. Listen, I’m all for spring fever, but this is a little more when you’re actually looking at the art in program in the business school, we have made a In addition to business classes, the Budapest ridiculous. As my roommate reminded me, we just person.” commitment to provide our graduates with a global program includes a study trip to Prague and several finished training ourselves not to gag at the Ugg The opportunity to experience new cultures is perspective,” said Professor William Geary, assistant pre-arranged visits to business and government resurgence; now we have to look at ill-fitting, seam- key to any study abroad programs. “I got to do things dean of undergraduate programs and an associate agencies in Budapest. Students who complete the pulling, breast-baring attire? This is so not fair. I never though I’d do,” professor of accounting in the business school. program will receive seven credit hours, including Spring is tricky. The weather is so spontaneous Ashley “This is accomplished inside credit for a required strategy course. that everyone wants to celebrate a warm day. But and outside of our William The Budapest program is open to students of all just because Tuesday was Mardi Gras doesn’t mean and Mary classrooms. majors who have completed the prerequisites for showgirl attire was in order. While rhinestone- Our faculty has endorsed the business program: a minimum of 54 credits, encrusted bras and G-strings were nowhere to be the goal of including an microeconomics and macroeconomics, introductory found, I would have preferred an onslaught of international experience statistics, calculus and an introductory accounting ostrich feather headdresses to the formal shorts with for every graduate.” course. Geary said that the business school may heels combination that abounded. Geary said that the consider waiving some of these requirements for I suppose what irks me is that the concept of College selected the students interested in the program. The credit high-low is lost on people. Want to celebrate warm program’s location requirement, however, will remain in place. weather? Go for it, but you can’t disguise a cocktail for several reasons. In addition to the Budapest program, the College dress as daywear. Instead, wear a sundress and mix “Our host university is offers roughly 14 other summer programs led by it up with a light-knit cashmere or even denim. Corvinus, an excellent College faculty. Partnerships with 16 institutions Want to wear sandals? Try an embellished gladiator. university,” Geary said. around the world, from the University of Adelaide in But for the love of all things springtime, 10 a.m. is “Both the university Australia to Keio University, Tokyo, allow the cost of not the appropriate time for a red corset, heels and and the housing are study abroad to match that of usual College tuition. hooker makeup. In fact, the performers at the Sex located in a very vibrant Five College-sponsored programs in Argentina, Workers’ Art Show looked more season-appropriate downtown district in the China, England, Scotland and Spain offer students and demure, and that includes the anal sparkler center of Budapest. It the security of easy enrollment and credit transfer dude(tte). was also important to us back to the College. te olsen Perhaps everyone is looking for a spring tryst. courtesy photo — ka to select a location other Faculty and students alike about study abroad Well guys, breaking out the armpit-hair bearing Jess Parrent M.B.A. ’09, Bry Matthews ’06 M.B.A. ’08, than western Europe so experiences with excitement. muscle tees and cargo shorts isn’t going to cut it. Ryan Miller ’09 and Amir Nowroozzadeh ’07 experience students will gain added “It’s all about experiential learning,” Geary said. Ladies, I love your breasts as much as the next insight by being outside “And the personal experiences that students will create person, but sheer shirt panels are a no-no, whether or the trend of eco-tourism firsthand in Phuket, Thailand. of their comfort zone.” are likely to be among some of the most powerful not there’s an undergarment involved. Geary cited practical memories of their undergraduate studies. We also Maybe the weather has made everyone crazy. reasons in favor of this summer program. hope that the participants will come back into their Is this some new form of allergy? Williamsburg is Pinney ’08 said. “I went to the Olympics in Torino. “This location provides a much better value than familiar worlds able to be more aware and conscious infamous for the chartreuse coating of pollen on the I visited six different countries, tried new food and most other European of the forces and choices that shape their lives.” Crim Dell. The sinuses get clogged and start pushing new languages. I saw Michelangelo’s ‘David’ and locations, given the cur- up against the self-respect part of the brain. Don’t Botticellis.” rency exchange rates,” feel bad, it’s a medical malady; just buy a nettie-pot Pinney added that she enjoyed choosing a study he said. “Budapest is and a mirror. abroad program unaffiliated with the College. a wonderful European Spring is a wonderful time to experiment in a “One cool thing about a non-William and Mary capital that is on the number of ways. Want a change? Paint your nails. program is that I met people I never would’ve met verge of being dis- Showing accidental nipple in class is irreversible — otherwise,” she said. covered. Weekend wearing the wrong color peach polish is nothing a For students who want to study abroad but whose travel opportunities little acetone can’t fix. Do you see the distinction? academics or interests tie them to the College during are excellent, and the Spring fashion is about Katharine Hepburn-inspired the academic year, summer study abroad programs Budapest-Vienna safari and feminine florals, not looking like Bratz are an alternative option. connection is very dolls. Kim Parker ’09 studied abroad in Barbados strong.” In a few weeks this weather will be standard, so during the summer of 2007 because her decision to The program don’t worry about squeezing in all of your revealing double major in business and psychology during her dates were designed spring clothes at once. Pace yourself. In fact, sophomore year kept her from going abroad during to appeal to busy gradually warming up your wardrobe is a great way the school year. business students. to see what still fits, what needs to get donated to “I could never have fit in all the necessary “Our students have Goodwill and what garners inappropriate looks. If coursework if I’d have left for a semester,” she said. different objectives courtesy photo — chase johnson you wear everything at once, who’s to decipher what “I also had leadership positions in clubs and didn’t and different Sewon Chung ’10 and Allison Corbett ’10 kiss a part of your outfit is the most? Spring will be here want to miss out on the opportunities that were constraints. For frog in Guanajuato, Mexico, known as the city of frogs. soon enough, whether or not you entice the weather available here on campus.” example, some with cleavage and butt-cracks galore. Parker reported that her experience with a students are Charlotte Savino is a Confusion Corner columnist. College-sponsored program was positive. planning summer She’s allergic to skanky spring fashion. “I would recommend William and Mary programs internships, others are Educating America’s youth

By Ashley Baird then placing them in the classroom for these students succeed. However, she also Flat Hat Managing Editor two years. The goal is two-fold: creating said that she can’t imagine doing anything immediate change on the ground level else. We’ve all seen them: those movies with energetic new teachers and exposing “I didn’t know a whole lot about seven- that show an unlikely teaching candidate leaders to the reality of schools, including and eight-year-olds before I started teaching walking into a failing school and leaving achievement gap issues them,” Cunningham said. “They are just a changed for the better a year later. Kate Cunningham ’07 decided to apply hilarious and surprisingly perceptive group Jimmy Weincek ’07, a Teach For to be a TFA corps member after watching of little people, so I really love being America corps member, had vague notions several upperclassmen she knew go around them.” graphic by Olivia Walch of causing the same kind of change as he through the program. Upon receiving her Though she has only been teaching entered summer training before his first requested placement in her home state of for a matter of months, Cunningham has year as a teacher in the fall. Connecticut, she was surprised to find that had her share of success stories and horror “We kind of expected it to be an the capital city of Hartford experiences stories. One of her students has spent two amalgamation of all those movies you one of the largest achievement gaps in the years in the second grade and has required see, like ‘Dangerous Minds,’ a little bit nation. extra attention, understanding and a good of ‘Freedom Writers’ mixed in there, “Seniors in high school are as much as deal of hard work. When she tested him with some ‘Stand and Deliver’ on the six grade levels behind,” she said. “It’s a for reading comprehension in December, the difficulty of her job. She is also quick to whether they’re black, white, low income, side,” Weincek said. “But this really goes little more of a troubled city than people he had improved 1.4 grade levels. say that she will continue to teach after her high income — and I really just want to beyond cliches; it’s much different than realize.” “I cried,” she said. “I called his mom, his two years as a TFA corps member are up. bring them up.” that. Teaching is much more cold and real, Cunningham’s students, whom she mom cried, and [he] was just beaming.” TFA — along with some classes — is an Weincek feels much the same way but the people are much warmer.” enthusiastically described as “wonderful,” Then, there are the days when frustration alternate route to a teaching certification in about his students at a middle school in TFA is an organization committed are a varied group. Sixty percent of her and emotion get the better of everyone. Connecticut, and Cunningham eventually Phoenix. to solving the problem of achievement students have special-education needs and “My little [Cole] is bipolar and there was plans to work in education administration, “They’re amazing; they crack me up gaps in lower-income school districts several have been diagnosed with social a day that he had a complete breakdown in possibly at the district level. every day,” Weincek said. “They’re just by recruiting student leaders from top or emotional disturbances and behavioral my room that was just very heartbreaking,” “I think this is an issue I will fight for like any other kids you meet all throughout colleges and universities across the country problems. She admited to having to work she said. until the day I die,” Cunningham said. to an intensive five-week summer institute, harder to develop strategies that will help Cunningham makes no complaint about “These little kids have amazing brains — See Youth page 7 Friday, February 8, 2008 Page 7 That Guy behind closed doors Andrew Cockram Say vamoose to your V-card

cheap there. I would get lunch for like 10 cents. It was half a loaf of bread with Emily Powell Samantha Fien-Helfman curry poured inside. flat hat sex columnist Flat Hat Columnist Have you always wanted to be involved in politics? I thought I was going to be a math This week’s That Guy, Andrew major until junior year of high school. In my first column, I stated my Cockram, describes himself as an eccentric My professor at a community college intentions as a sex columnist: to bobo — a bohemian bourgeoisie who who taught U.S. history changed me. He form a bridge between virgins and aspires to be a true Southern gentleman, showed me that the vehicle to getting nymphomaniacs. I think I’ve taken the but also likes listening to jam bands and most things done is through politics. College a few steps across, and I have wearing African garb. He also has a talent For next year, I’ve applied to graduate loved every awkward, humorous and for connecting and linking a diverse schools in political geography. I’m not spectacular moment of it. student body. Drew can often be found quite sure what I want to end up doing, That being said, I hope that my playing washboard for the Appalachian but adding a spatial component to any last column helps many of you with graphic by Olivia Walch Music Ensemble or sitting at a table on problem is very useful, so I think my your first time, because losing your the UC Terrace in deep discussion. His options should be pretty open. I might virginity is veiled in shame and nerves in gentlemen as well. muscles and feel like he’s trying to quirky and relaxed character is evident want to do strategic intelligence for the mystery. Don’t just leap at the chance to lose rip you in half. A good suggestion by his clothing: a distinct mix of preppy U.S., but I don’t know for sure. My intention is to prepare you for virginity; because for better or worse, is to always keep your partner close J. Crew pants and brightly colored wraps What is your most interesting — not scare you away from — sex. that memory will be with you for the to you in missionary. This not only and tie-dyed shirts. politics-related story? I want to give some answers to the rest of your life. At least make sure heightens the intimacy, but you What is your favorite Drew outfit? I work for a lot of the voting groups questions that are too embarrassing to there are a few parts in the beginning can communicate better through My seersucker suit, but clearly we and was on the cover of the Washington ask your friends, and to which they that you enjoy. Lubrication is the key body language. Remember the most aren’t in school much after Memorial Post Express for protesting outside of likely are too embarrassed to give ingredient in saving you from the first important things: relax, lubricate and Day and before Labor Day, so rules of the voting precinct. It was a presidential detailed answers. If sex isn’t right time from Hell. There can never be communicate. Southern customs don’t allow me to election, so there were a lot of people for you now, or you’re committed to enough lube. Use a lubricated condom, After it’s over, make sure you both wear it often. Sometimes I’ll wear it just voting. We were protesting and this guy saving yourself for marriage, it doesn’t take advantage of your body’s natural use the bathroom within the next hour. for kicks value. comes up to me and says that students matter. Keep this column for whenever lubrication and have a bottle or packet You’re entering the lovely world of What is one of your crazier aren’t really citizens and shouldn’t be that time comes around, and you’ll be of lube standing by just in case. possible urinary tract infections, and stories? able to vote. We had a 30- or 40-minute as prepared as you can possibly be. Stick with missionary; it takes less urinating can flush out the bacteria Easy one. Well, not easy, but several conversation as I tried to tell him that we If you choose to take the plunge, flexibility and provides stability and that can cause them. Ladies should things in Swem. I’ve streaked Swem, were living here and that we make up a stamping your V-card is a huge step in security for both of you. Ladies, lie on expect some after effects. You’ve just done Swem shots; freshman year during large number of the population. life. The “who” is the most important your back and, as he enters you. curl completely or partially torn a muscle, exams we choreographed a dance to The guy storms off and leaves. Later part of the whole sexual equation. You your knees into your body, keeping so there will be soreness for a few “Praise You” by Fatboy Slim. We that night, I go into Wawa and the guy need a partner whom you trust beyond them spread as wide as possible. It’s days. It’s also not uncommon to bleed performed it on all three floors during from earlier is the manager there. I go a doubt. The first time takes a lot of not just his job to do all the work; lightly for a few days, so wear a panty exams as a mental health note to help out to pay for my stuff and he says “No, I communication, especially if you’re he might need a helping hand. Use liner. That night, you might also have the school and it was very professionally won’t serve you here.” And I’m trying to both virgins. If you’re not comfortable one hand to guide his penis as he some stomach pains and cramps, so done. We started with 12 people and we just give him my money and be like “I saying “I can’t do this,” “only go that enters you and make sure it’s at a I recommend taking an Advil or two picked up new people on each floor who know we had a fight earlier, but I’m just far” or “it doesn’t bend that way,” then comfortable angle, but also leave it afterwards to ease or eliminate those. would come up to the next floor with us. trying to pay you.” But he said he didn’t reconsider your choice. The perfect there to make sure he only goes as Don’t launch your sex life with a There are plans for doing it again this want any of my business. I contacted candidate is one who would stop in an deep as you can handle. Focus on blemish that you’re always going to semester. Wawa corporate, but never really heard instant if you asked, without complaint breathing deeply and try to relax; it try and hide. Sex with a great partner You’re on the UC Terrace or hanging anything back. He’s still there and I think or hesitation. will decrease the pain a lot. Guys, is the most wonderful thing in the at the Grind a lot. How do you ever get he’s still managing, but I’m not sure. A person with whom you are this is the time to be a gentleman; go world. It’s getting to know that other work done? If you could repeat one day at the familiar makes it easier to discuss slowly, rocking in one inch at a time. person well enough that you can move [Laughs.] I like the Terrace because I College, which would it be and why? those questions to which you need an This gives her time to adjust as you seamlessly together in perfect motion. like to people watch a lot and you’ll see I would repeat the last day of Blowout honest answer. Make sure you know continue. I wish nothing less than that for some fascinating things there. I’ve seen a of my freshman year because I dilly- that they’re STI-free, and don’t simply The top question on all the ladies’ everyone on the campus. guy in a pancreas suit frolicking around. dallied around, and I didn’t finish this take a yes for an answer — ask when minds is the same: “Does it hurt?” Thank you to everyone who I think that was pretty good. It was just paper of South Africa that I needed to their last test series was. That depends on the girl and the supported the column, and I give my a random day. You’ll find that I just tend write and I missed the retirement party To make your first time more situation. You might be a lucky one best to the next in line. to roam around until I find people and of Professor [Hans] Tiefel. He was a enjoyable, make sure there is and not experience any awkwardness Emily Powell was the Flat Hat then talk to them, and when they’re done religion professor and taught medicine extensive foreplay. This is not just for or pain the whole time, or you sex columnist. She’s never afraid of a I’ll run around and find someone else. I and ethics. His class was only open to the ladies; foreplay will help calm the could have difficulty relaxing your detailed answer. work hard, but also play hard. I’m really juniors and seniors, but he allowed me focused for a while and then let loose for to get in because I was an academic a while. I actually didn’t find it out until junior. On the first day of class he said, this year, but the only time I get can get “Jesus would make a ‘C,’ I would make College students educate youth reading done is when I’m cycling at the a ‘B,’ and you will fail.” We started Rec Center. off that day with 40 people and by the youth from page 6 to be with them for two years, and they apply, Weincek warns that the summer Did you ever study abroad? end we only had a small circle of six leave a month and a half later, and you training is “very rigorous. I studied abroad in Durban, South because everyone else had withdrawn. I the country. They’re all about their find out that they’ve been to five schools “You get used to the rigor that you’re Africa. I knew I wanted to go to made a ‘D,’ but some did make ‘F’s. It iPods, they’re all about the things they in two years,” Weincek said. going to be in for the next two or South Africa because it’s a developing sounds really rough, but he changed my have and the stuff they’ve seen on TV.” He focuses on making his classroom 25 years,” he says. “It’s tough, it’s country but slightly developed. It has perspective on life and I became a much Weincek talks about his experience welcoming to his new students, who long days. It’s not called a corps for the infrastructure but was still wild better person for having him. with a wealth of knowledge and a candor might appear unannounced at any time nothing.” experience. As a government major, Describe your perfect date. that belie his brief time in the classroom. in the school year. It is a constant According to Matt Reamy ’05, TFA South Africa is a new developing country I’d have to go with May 17. Oh, He explained that his students come struggle to keep up “classroom culture,” recruiter for the College and a TFA that still has a lot of political action. romantic date … It needs to be ethnic from vastly different backgrounds, a complicated and delicate atmosphere alum, the College is well on its way I could have gone to Capetown but food because you need to test the person with 55 percent Hispanic, 20 percent of student interaction and openness that to making that change. This spring, that’s very European and Durban is very to see whether they’re adventurous or white and the remaining 25 percent Weincek deeply values. the College is close to breaking the African. I went to a lot of political rallies not. I would go with Thai food. That consisting of Asian, black or American Despite the difficulties of adjusting to record of most TFA recruits in a year. In while I was there. The IFP or minority way, you can see if they can deal with Indian students. He acknowledged teaching in a struggling school, Weincek 2005, 21 students were accepted. This party has a strong hold there and it’s the the spice. You don’t want to go with that, despite their varied ethnicities, his appreciates the humor and humanity of year, with the final application deadline only place that they do so it’s just a much Ethiopian food because then it’s in your students all suffer from many of the what he is doing every day. coming up Feb. 15, the College already more exciting experience in Durban. My hands and that’s just too messy. With same problems. “I won’t say there aren’t days when has 16 corps members. school was on strike for the first month Thai, you can also test their chopstick “My district … for some reason it’s I’m extremely tired and extremely As for applying to TFA, Reamy, and a half so I read some 60-something skills. After, I’d go on a walk, then sit on the highest rate of domestic abuse in overworked and stressed out, because Cunningham and Weincek all agree books from the library. Everything is so a park bench and listen to some music. my state,” he said. “And you kind of there definitely are, but there’s always that doing the research beforehand see the budding of gang activity. You that one student that really just cracks on TeachForAmerica.org as well as do see students who think school has me up,” Weincek said. He took care to understanding what is involved is very no relevance in their lives, you see them point out that, to the students, whatever important. starting to turn to the next logical step, led him to teaching isn’t relevant. They “You shouldn’t do this if you’re not and for many kids it is a logical step of don’t care whether he is a TFA corps completely sure,” Weincek said. “You survival.” member or a certified teacher; they just should do some serious soul searching. In addition to dealing with these want to know that they belong and have Just ask yourself, ‘Do I want to be issues, which Weincek admits were very his support. comfortable and padded for the next unfamiliar and challenging to him, he Weincek is on the fence about staying couple years, or do I want to be where must also contend with the problem of in the school system after his time in the rubber meets the road?’ Either way transience in his classroom. Many of his TFA is done. He deferred an acceptance you answer is fine. It’s all about what students’ parents have difficulty making to Boston College Law School when he works for you.” ends meet and often move to find good joined TFA, and is considering returning Cunningham, Reamy and Weincek deals on housing or better jobs. to school. He does, however, “have an will speak at a film screening and “You have a student who’s an amazing intuitive sense that we’ve done a little information session about TFA that will student — very, very smart, very gifted, bit of good.” take place Tuesday, Feb. 12 at 6 p.m. in Spencer atkinson — the flat hat very bright — and you’re so psyched For College students planning to McGlothlin-Street Hall Room 20. horoscopes

Aquarius: Jan. 20 - Feb. 18 Taurus: April 20 - May 20 Leo: July 23 - Aug. 22 Scorpio: Oct. 23 - Nov. 21 Your copy editing skills are unrivaled on It’s a difficult decision, although it may Although pulling the Swem fire alarm You’ll put two and two together this this campus, but remember that alcohol help to make a pro and con list. In the may seem funny at first, the 200 people week when you notice all the dining will dampen your ability to correct end you know what you will choose so with papers due tomorrow won’t see the hall bananas went missing after the Sex grammar. just fake it. humor in the situation. Workers’ Art Show.

Pisces: Feb. 19 - March 20 Gemini: May 21- June 21 Virgo: Aug. 23 - Sept. 22 Sagittarius: Nov. 22 - Dec. 21 You always drag yourself to your A freak accident Sunday will leave your An awkward encounter with your You may think that the Super Bowl com- early morning math class come Hell roommate with the voice of Chubby linguistics professor during office hours mercial with the pandas was racist, but a or high water; unfortunately, this week Checker and you with the body of a will reveal she wasn’t coming on to you trip to the National Zoo that will prove you’ll have to face both. slender Chinese trapeze artist. when she said “diphthongs.” pandas do have heavy Asian accents.

Aries: March 21 - April 19 Cancer: June 22 - July 22 Libra: Sept. 23 - Oct. 22 Capricorn: Dec. 22 - Jan. 19 The stars dare you to wait outside the You’ll prove them wrong when, Your life will barely change this week If knowledge is power, then why BOV meeting until Rector Michael after hours and hours of all pushing when you learn that spiritual leader and the hell isn’t Marilyn vos Savant the Powell comes out, and then plant a juicy shoving, and sweating, you fit a round Beatles guru Maharishi Mahesh Yogi is supreme empress of the world? one smack dab on his lips. peg in a square hole. dead. — by Alex Guillén Page 8 Friday, February 8, 2008 Reviews Editor Conor McKay Assoc. Reviews Editor Kasi Kangarloo Assoc. Reviews Editor Genice Phillips Re v i e w s [email protected] Sex Workers’ Art Show shocks By Chris manitius brilliant, provocative, shocking and The show started out with an performer’s shouting was inaudible. The Flat Hat often hilarious exploration of the effeminate gay male comedian and Presumably the muffled words casted humanity of an industry stigmatized (I assume) former prostitute. His aspersions against anyone anti-gay, Honestly, I went for the sex. by objectification and disgrace. stories about coming out of the closet anti-liberal, pro-Bush … blah, blah, However, the Sex Workers’ Art The show was a hodgepodge of in a conservative area, trying to act blah. All of this seemed meaningless Show turned out to be so much different performance styles. Artists manly for a former customer who when the stripper finally shut up and more than that. Its performers of all kinds combined their talents was a West Virginian blue-collar lit a sparkler stuck in her ass. In that ranged from a gay prostitute/stand- into a hilarious, horrifying night worker and his trysts at truck stops moment, the confused and muddled up comedian to an actress-turned- of tastefully tasteless entertainment, where he would go to get picked up purpose of the act was finally made pole dancer to a transsexual stripper at times socially and politically and “abused” by truckers, brilliantly clear: an outrageous clincher to a with sparklers sending bits of light conscious, and at other times blended humor with sadness. My provocative night of entertainment. exploding out of her ass. It featured mocking anything close to good macho, straight-guy side couldn’t Perhaps the most shocking all kinds of foreplay to form a taste. help but giggle at his painted face thing to consider when thinking courtesy photo — xl recordings and girly garb, but his humor and about the show is the fact that wit were abundant and thoroughly adult entertainment is a $12 billion enjoyable. His removal of layers dollar industry, which, according of underwear to show his different to those in the Sex Workers Art Vampire roles as a prostitute succeeded in Show, is more than sports and making the audience uncomfortable, (normal) entertainment combined. but certainly did not fail to amuse. Millions of Americans indulge in Weekend Other acts, such as the poetry this guilty pleasure every year, yet reading by a former porn star, state government officials went to proved to be, ironically, in good great lengths to censor a show put taste. Audience members were together to demonstrate that adult delivers on offered a fascinating glimpse of the performers are real people. sensitive, almost innocent side of Some of the performers are a starlet whose past includes flicks university graduates, others such as “Gang Bang My Face.” Acts respected art critics, yet all have had debut LP like these were a great contrast to, to deal with sub-human levels of and a nice break from, some of the respect. Contrary to the opinions of By dan irish more shocking acts. Well, except for outspoken conservative pundits on The Flat Hat the humorous porno title. campus, the show was a fantastically The climax of the show — a entertaining celebration and “First the window, then it’s to the wall / Lil’ Jon, dance performed by a transgendered exploration of a prevalent element he always tells the truth.” stripper who had “Fuck Bush” taped of American society. In opposition Ezra Koenig, lead singer of New York indie on her chest — was disappointing. to anything typically considered band, Vampire Weekend, sings this witty line from Jack hohman — the flat hat The political message was hackneyed high entertainment, the show proved “Oxford Comma” with boat shoes-clad nonchalance. The Sex Workers’ Art Show, at the low ticket price of $2 for students, sold out and unimaginative as a feeble that low art can be used for lofty After meeting at Columbia, the band released a both its 7 p.m. and 9:30 p.m. shows at the UC Commonwealth on Monday. attempt at biting commentary. The aims. demo online, only to see it explode on blogs and music review websites, garnering high praise for the group’s brand of what it calls “Upper West Side Soweto.” As a member of UCAB music committee, I saw Kimball festival harkens back to classics the band’s Fridays @ 5 asking price skyrocket in only a week’s time, pushing them from indie darlings By greg benson regarded by many, including myself, to be some in for good measure. There’s also going to be to cover mates with Foo Fighters in Spin. The Flat Hat of the best movies of all time. A Western, a a screening of an eighth movie, “Blowup,” in The band signed with XL Recordings and released romance, a detective story, a war story, a mobster Washington Hall on the final day of the festival. its self-titled debut last week. The African Soweto If you’re still unfamiliar with a tiny little flick movie, a monster movie and a transvestite sci-fi Personally, the film I’m most excited about rhythms shine through on “Cape Cod Kwassa called “Lars and the Real Girl,” you’re missing musical make up the larger part of the bill, with Kwassa,” a delightful track that pairs nonsensical out. It’s a funny, character-driven movie about a a little Shirley Temple and Three Stooges thrown See kimball page 9 lyrics — Koenig rhymes “Luis Vuitton” with guy (Ryan Gosling, “The Notebook”) who falls in “Bennetton” and “Reggaeton” — with bongos and love with a Real Doll. noodling guitars. Consider it Paul Simon wearing It’s clever because, despite the obvious madras shorts and argyle. sight gags, it’s ultimately a very moving and “Mansard Roof” draws comparisons to the heartbreaking film. I saw it for $4 about 200 Shins and Kinks. Drummer Chris Tomson creates a yards from my front door, and my roommate and galloping yet unassuming beat, one that isn’t perfect, I were the only two students in the entire theater. but has enough charm to get by. Koenig describes “Lars and the Real Girl” was playing at the the “hot garbage and concrete” of New York more Kimball Theatre, which every student necessarily like a flowery, aromatic field than urban ugliness. passes on the way to the bookstore, or to the This record never strays too far from the college Cheese Shop or to screw with Lady Skipwith. campus, quick to mention “cruel professors,” “ion Yet, up until a few weeks ago, it seems the displacement” and “shit-show” parties. However, majority of those people weren’t even aware that the group’s sound is not limited by the often juvenile the Kimball even showed movies. and claustrophobic confines of college life. The band But then promotion started on something comes across like a precocious, tea-drinking clan which has me waiting in a sort of movie-nerd of nerds. With the rampant use of harpsichord and ecstasy that you would expect from someone who keyboard-derived strings, any track would fit easily was raised by Robert Osborne of Turner Classic into the soundtrack of a Wes Anderson film. Movies. That is what the Kimball Theatre’s The only misstep is “Bryn,” a throw-away track “When the Movies Come to Town,” a three-day with half-cooked rhythms and cheesy lines like film festival celebrating the historic theater’s “right past the fireflies that sleep in my heart” and 75th anniversary, has brought me to. “eyes like a seagull.” It seems tossed off and worthy The seven films and the small handful of shorts courtesy photo — paramount of B-side status rather than filling time on an already selected for the free festival form a package that is The Kimball Theatre will be playing such films as “The Godfather,” the 1972 Francis Ford Coppola eclectic, to say the least. But they are individually directed masterpiece, starring Marlon Brando as Don Vito Corleone. See vampire page 9 Novak makes stand-up appearance By mary bonney flights during which “The Office” is Some of the more provocative questions The Flat Hat shown. included, “If you’re a writer, how After Novak’s stand-up routine, come it took you so long to go from “The Office” star B.J. Novak came he encouraged the audience to ask Michael’s bitch to corporate boss?” to Phi Beta Kappa Memorial Hall questions. Most focused on “The Friday Feb. 1 to perform for a sold-out Office” and his future career plans. See novak page 9 crowd. The lengthy applause Novak received was not surprising, given that he is a writer, producer, and an actor on one of today’s most popular television shows. Surprising, however, was that the opener, Pete Holmes (VH1’s “Best courtesy photo — Fox Week Ever”), actually outshined the Fox’s new game show, “The Moment of Truth,” airs Wednesdays at 9 p.m. adored “temp.” Holmes spent some time exploring Williamsburg and poked fun at our “social awkwardness.” Joking about our unexpected friendliness, he ‘Moment of Truth’ said he made a game of smiling at strangers and receiving waves. He was also shocked that we had “Puritan ghosts” in the bookstore. Holmes’ serves guilty pleasure quick timing and excellent impressions of various “Food Network” stars were By thomas schutt sexual fantasy during mass?” or an well worth the price of admission. The Flat Hat admitted addict answer “Have you ever Novak’s performance included a gambled away one of your son’s college briefcase full of one-liners, a mini- Fox’s latest reality game show, “The funds?” puppet show and a children’s mystery Moment of Truth,” is perhaps the perfect Contestants reveal embarrassing and story. After gaining national attention example of a guilty pleasure. harmful secrets on national television — by virtue of his well-known television The simple joy of the show comes all for money. The show’s contestants show, he commented how sometimes it from watching a former altar boy answer takes a while for strangers to recognize courtesy photo — nbc questions like “Have you ever had a See ‘truth’ page 9 him, resulting in some interesting B.J. Novak is best known for his role as a temp in NBC’s hit show, “The Office.” Friday, February 8, 2008 Page 9

— compiled by Coming Attractions Kasi Kangarloo Hollywood Gossip

“Before the Devil Knows You’re Dead” (THINKfilm) This award-winning film stars Philip Seymore Hoffman Uma’s crazed stalker Another one bites the dust a ll and Ethan Hawke as two brothers who devise a plan Beautiful girls get all the atten- Stars in rehab are a dime a to rob their parents’ jewelry store. It all goes to hell, tion. Uma Thurman will face dozen these days, especially

Kimb however, and before long the whole family is dragged her accused stalker in court when it comes to drop dead into the ensuing tragedy. Sounds grim. Feb. 8 next month — at his request, gorgeous Hollywood starlets. no less. Jackson Jordan has After a week of crazy/beautiful “Fool’s Gold” (Warner Bros. Pictures) been charged with harass- partying at the Sundance Film Matthew McConaughey’s boyish charm shines through ment and felony coercion for Festival, Kirsten Dunst headed once more in “Fool’s Gold,” a romantic comedy about a sending Uma a collection of for the Cirque Lodge. Hoping to surfer/treasure hunter who discovers a clue concerning the love letters and sketches. The get over it and leave her issues whereabouts of a lost treasure, sending him on an adventure stalker gave up a plea agree- behind, the deeply troubled that could bring the spark back to his marriage. Feb. 8 ment for the opportunity to see actress checked in amid a Uma in court. The court’s final flurry of streaming mascara. “Welcome Home Roscoe Jenkins” (Universal Pictures) analysis could land Jordan in a The Utah facility has helped M ovies This cooky comedy stars Martin Lawrence as L.A. talk- mental health institution for a the likes of Lindsay Lohan and show host Roscoe Jenkins, who travels to the deep South minimum of one year. Eva Mendez, among others. to reunite with his estranged family. Expect another typical Martin Lawrence flick, albeit with a bit more Clueless Herbie fully clean Mississippi-style slapstick than previous versions. Feb. 8 New York fashion week brings An older and more mature out the best in all uptown girls. Lindsay Lohan has emerged. Widespread Panic — “Free Somehow” Brittany Murphy got a little After a stint in rehab, the star Southern jam-band Widespread Panic releases its umpteenth crazy at Monday’s Max Azria has decided to stay clean. studio album with “Free Somehow,” offering more of the show, trying to find common Though she loves all her same grungey, solo-riddled tunes in the spirit of bands ground and then shunning the friends, LiLo wishes some like The Grateful Dead and Phish. They’re getting up paparazzi and reporters. As of them would get a clue. there in age, but they’re still jammin’ like hell. Feb. 12 she gently stroked a clueless The reformed teenage drama tabloid girl’s arm, she insisted queen has confessed that Simple Plan — “Simple Plan” she wouldn’t be interviewed some of her old friends had Albums Canadian pop-punk sensation Simple Plan returns with this because, as she put it, “Your to go because of their nega- self-titled LP, the band’s first release in almost four years. magazine HURT. MY. LIFE.” tive influences on her newly Expect a poppier, more electronic-oriented sound, along She went on to mention her drug- and alcohol-free life- with more of the same sappy lyrics on teenage heartbreak. want for children as well as her style. Mean girls. Seems like these guys just refuse to grow up. Feb. 12 refusal to start a family. Crazy. — by Alice Hahn Kimball festival offers Novak of classics, little known gems ‘Office’ kimball from page 8 head-over-heels for all of those utterly shocked by how few big, rubbery monster movies. people have actually heard of hits PBK (and I don’t think I’m alone Since that phase is still going it. I’m hoping that, after next on this one) is widely regarded strong today, I’m very much weekend, I’ll have at least one novak from page 8 as one of the best movie in looking forward to this one as or two people on campus with film history — Francis Ford well. whom I can schmooze about and a request to sing “Ryan Started Coppola’s 1972 masterpiece, The problem with Kong it. the Fire,” which he begrudgingly “The Godfather.” and Don Corleone, as well as Unfortunately, it’s playing did. He even received an invitation A medley of strong writing, Scarlett O’Hara and Dr. Frank- on the same day as the four- to hang out at the Green Leafe acting and directing that is N-Furter (with whom they hour monster that is “Gone With courtesy photo — Mgm after the show, where a handful nothing short of brilliant across share the bill), is that they’re so the Wind,” so a lot of potential The Kimball Theatre’s “When the Movies Come to Town” festival of lucky students got to meet him. the board, “The Godfather” has well known I’m afraid they’re moviegoers might be at home Feb. 14-17 will include a number of Best Picture winners, including Novak signed autographs and took always been one of my personal going to leave the less-well- resting their eyeballs. If you Sidney Poitier’s 1967 film, “In the Heat of the Night.” pictures with die-hard fans for an favorites. I’ve lost count of the known gems of this festival do feel up to the challenge, hour after the show. number of times I watched it on unattended. Namely, I’m I guarantee it will be totally person for company. just maybe, a small handful Novak is more of a situation- our tiny TV in days gone by, so concerned about “In the Heat worth it. It’s one of the most And yet, despite all that, the of the moviegoers from next comic, meaning he’s better at the opportunity to see it in the of the Night,” the 1967 Best tautly acted and beautifully thing I’m looking forward to weekend’s festivities will stick pulling off awkwardly humorous same theater where it originally Picture winner about a black filmed movies I’ve ever seen, most about this festival isn’t around for a little while to see situations than cheesy one-liners. showed 36 years ago is, to detective who gets sucked into and the way director Norman Marlon Brando or Clark Gable what else the Kimball has to We’re more accustomed to the put it mildly, mind-bogglingly a murder investigation in a Jewison (“The Thomas Crown or seeing all my mild-mannered offer. There’s always something hilarious interactions between cool. racist Deep South town. Affair”) captures the long, slow classmates decked out in their good showing there and plenty Ryan, Michael and Dwight on “The The same goes for “King I first saw “In the Heat of death of the Old South is sheer best fishnets for “The Rocky of room to stretch out. And Office,” and that proved difficult to Kong.” When I was five I hit the Night” when I was in 10th genius. At the very least, I’ll be Horror Picture Show.” It’s the you don’t even need to take reproduce with just one-third of the a phase where I fell absolutely grade, and have since been there, so you’ll have one other foolish pipe dream that maybe, the bus. dream team. ‘Moment of Truth’ gives TV sleazy edge

‘truth’ from page 8 side, you start hoping for something that’ll really The biggest flaw of the show lies in its make them sweat. previews. Occasionally they will show the same are asked 50 questions about themselves, their A lot of the questions are geared toward rela- person being asked multiple questions, which opinions and their habits while strapped to a lie tionships. A player whose girlfriend was present tends to ruin any present suspense. However, the detector. Twenty-one of those questions are asked was asked if he found her boring (he did), if he show isn’t about suspense; it’s about watching of them again on the show. The more questions used his lack of money as an excuse for not pro- morally bankrupt people tell the world just how they answer truthfully, the more money they get. posing to her (he did) and if he flirted with others slimy they really are. The larger the amount of money on the line, the via text-messaging (he did). The show is less This show is definitely a little disturbing. more personal the questions become. about rooting for the contestant and more about But for anyone who watches the first four or so Even better — or worse — the show brings watching jerks get what’s coming to them. episodes of “American Idol” to see how much on three of each contestant’s relations to stand Because lying sends contestants home with of a fool people will make of themselves just by while they answer their questions. Things get nothing, regardless of whether the contestant to get two seconds on TV, or for anyone who really funny and awkward when a contestant is lies and gets booted or tells the truth and goes enjoyed watching people eat pig guts on “Fear asked if she thinks her mother, sitting mere feet on, he is bound to insult someone. Win or lose, Factor” or for all of us who need to feel better courtesy photo — fox away, has a weight problem. Some people may contestants go home with ruined friendships and about ourselves after a rough day, this show is Mark Wahlberg hosts Fox’s new, polygraph-driven game show, “The sympathize with these contestants — they are strained relationships. And the best part? We, the just for us. Moment of Truth.” The show’s contestants must answer 21 increasingly only trying to get rich, right? True, but after a audience, will be howling at the downcast facial “The Moment of Truth” airs Wednesdays at personal, difficult questions truthfully to win up to $500,000. couple questions reveal them to be on the sleazy expressions of the utterly deserving. 9 p.m. on Fox. ‘Vampire’ offers fresh sound vampire from page 8 and revisiting the silly yet honest or “shiny cufflinks” aren’t chorus of “Look outside at the mentioned. Despite this insistence short record. raincoats coming, say oh.” This on appearance, though, Koenig That being said, this record is song is the perfect soundtrack is quick to curb the pretension worth buying just for “A-Punk.” for making that two-minute with cheeky lyrics like, “Oh This joyous track blends Paul walk between Tucker and Ewell, your collegiate grief has left you Simon’s “Me and Julio Down whether the day proves to be dowdy in sweatshirts — absolute By The Schoolyard” with the sunny or full of showers. And horror!” Ramones’ “Judy Is a Punk” to damn it, I want to know who While not achieving anything form something altogether new, Johanna is, and why she deserves as profound as its labels former yet entirely recognizable. Koenig’s such a beautifully irreverent poster boys, Radiohead, Vampire jangly guitars give way to Chris song. Weekend’s debut still deserves Baio’s simple yet snaky bassline. “M79,” “Campus” and a spot in the college student’s Tomson’s drums drive and jive “Walcott” continue the trend of collection for its ramshackle with excellent use of hi-hat. gems, as Strokes-like guitars assembly of pop, Ivy League The real star, however, is weave together syncopated Afro-rhythms and honest-to- Rostam Batmanglij’s gorgeous drumbeats amid lyrics about goodness indie joy. creation of keyboard-formed Darjeeling tea and getting out of Here’s to hoping we’ll see them woodwind sounds that seem Cape Cod for the night. grace our campus someday. We’ll to wash over the guitars in a The band has an obsession have our buttoned-up Oxford dream like sequence. You’ll find with clothing, too. Not a song shirts ready. yourself shouting “eh eh eh eh” goes in which “Egyptian cotton” iiiii Sports Editor Jeff Dooley Associate Sports Editor Miles Hilder Associate Sports Editor Andrew Pike [email protected] p o r t s Friday, February 8, 2008 Page 10 S Football: Signing Day Sp o r t s in b r i e f Women’s basketball Laycock signs 12 to letters of intent Tribe edges Tigers in road ESPN.com ranks Kearney 52nd-best quarterback in nation CAA victory, 56-53 By Miles Hilder while also adding depth at the skill positions, will look to fill the gap left by the departure of Led by senior forward Kyra Flat Hat Assoc. Sports Editor signing a tight end, quarterback and running All-Conference tight end Drew Atchison. Kaylor’s 20-point, 14-rebound back. Defensively, Chris Johnson will lead a performance, the College was able to hold off a tough Towson Quarterback Nolan Robbie Gumbita, a 6’4,” 298 lb. offensive class that features plenty of speed and athleti- University squad last night, earn- Kearney and running back lineman, who received two stars on the re- cism. Johnson, a defensive end from Virginia ing a 56-53 road victory. Towson Jonathan Grimes headline cruiting website Rivals.com, is one of nine re- Beach, earned two stars from Rivals.com missed two the Tribe’s 12-member recruit- cruits from outside the state of Virginia. Four and used his speed from the weak side to re- three-point ing class, announced by Head Coach members of the class are from New Jersey. cord 14 sacks as a junior. Brian Thompson of attempts in Jimmye Laycock Wednesday. “We want to cover in-state. It’s just the Somerset, N.J., another two-star recruit from the closing The signees will join the Tribe over way things fall. Some years we’ve gotten a Rivals.com, will be a strong addition to the m o m e n t s the summer in preparation for next sea- lot of in-state [recruits] and some years we Tribe’s secondary, as will local prospect Wil- that would son. The College returns 18 starters, nine haven’t,” Laycock said. “You can’t go focus liam Webb of Newport News. have tied on each side of the ball, from on one particular position or one particular While Laycock doesn’t expect every re- the game. the team that finished 4-7 a area, or you’re going to be in trouble.” cruit to see action next season, the coach With 1:01 year ago. Highlighting this year’s class on the of- left open the possibility that we may see true remaining, “We didn’t sign as many fensive side of the ball is Kearney of Glen- freshmen on the field this year. freshman players this year as maybe some other years moore, Pa. Ranked 52nd among signal callers “You never know,” Coach Laycock said. guard Katy just because of the number of returning play- by ESPN.com, Kearney is a strong, athletic “Hopefully these guys are good enough to Oblinger ers we have coming back,” Laycock said. 6’4’’ lefty who threw for over 2,200 yards play as freshman. They’ve got to be good hit a three- “We tried to get guys that could do dif- and scored 30 total touchdowns in his senior enough, there’s got to be a need and they’ve pointer to give the Tribe a 56- ferent things, that were versatile, could season. got to want to play. That’s our criteria.” 51 lead. The College shot better play different positions, could play dif- Grimes of Palmyra, N.J., and wide receiv- from beyond the arc (35 percent) than they did from the field (33.3 ferent sides of the ball, and kind of go er C.J. Thomas of Mount Airy, Md. have both 2008 recruits percent), but were able to hold from there.” received attention from national recruiting RB/LB Dante Cook DB Omar Francis Towson to only 30 percent shoot- Eight of the recruits have seen websites, as Grimes is ranked 166th among ing from the field. Junior forward time on the offensive side of the running backs by ESPN.com and Thomas TE Alex Gottlieb rB Jonathan Grimes Dani Kell scored eight points, ball, while six specialized on earned a two-star ranking from Rivals.com. OL Robbie Gumbita DE Chris Johnson dished out four assists and pulled defense in high school. The Thomas had 50 catches during his senior year QB Nolan Kearney OL Michael Salazar down four rebounds, and sopho- Spencer Atkinson — The Flat Hat Tribe inked four linemen, for a total of 867 yards and 19 touchdowns. WR C.J. Thomas DL Josh Thompson more guard Kelly Heath pitched Head Coach Jimmye Laycock. two on each side of the ball, Tight end Alex Gottlieb of Delray Beach, Fla. DB/WR Brian Thompson DB William Webb in eight points. Men’s basketball Men’s Basketball: Tribe 74, Hofstra 62 Commentary Second-place Tribe travels to take on Northeastern College faces The second-place Tribe will travel to Boston Saturday to take Mann on fire on the Northeastern Huskies at challenging 1 p.m. Senior forward Laimis Kiselius (12.0 ppg) and freshman guard John Sexton (44.4 FG per- end schedule cent) will look to build upon their recent CAA accolades and extend the Tribe’s winning streak to four Andrew Pike games, while picking up a crucial, Flat Hat Assoc. Sports Editor late-season conference win. To make the trip a successful one, the squad must stop Northeastern’s With another CAA victory in tow, the Tribe sophomore guard Matt Janning now stands at 9-3 in the conference and sits (16.4 ppg), who posted 20 points in a tie for second place with George Mason in the Huskies’ 67-60 downing of University. Since a Jan. 2 home loss to the Old Dominion Wednesday. The University of Delaware, the College has won game begins a critical stretch of nine of its last 10 CAA contests, including four three straight road games for the consecutive road victories. Tribe, who will seek to maintain Throughout this stretch, the Tribe has proven their lofty CAA position going itself as a conference contender and as a team into the CAA tournament. that can finish close games. Of its past nine Women’s tennis victories, the College has won six by less than College competes in ITA four points. And in four of those wins, the Tribe erased double-digit deficits. National Team Indoors Its largest conference victory to date came The Tribe squared off Thursday yesterday in the form of a 74-62 defeat of in the first round of the ITA Na- Hofstra University. The wire-to-wire win should tional Team Indoor Championships give the College even more confidence heading against the University of Miami into the latter third of its CAA schedule. (Fla.). Results of the event were Now, the Tribe will face a series of tests as posted too late for this edition. If they hit the road for three straight games away the College advances past the Hur- from Kaplan Arena. Moreover, just two of its ricanes, they will meet the winner final six conference games will be played at of the match between top-seeded home. Granted, the College is 4-1 on the road in Stanford University and Baylor conference play, but in the middle of February, University today at 3:30 p.m. CAA games become more important, and —By Jeff Dooley and Matt opposing arenas become even tougher places to Poms. Photo courtesy of William play. and Mary Sports Information. Alex Haglund — The Flat Hat At this point in the season, about eight teams Senior guard Nathan Mann led the Tribe in points (22) and rebounds (5) in Wednesday night’s home victory over Hofstra. are vying for a top-four seed and first-round bye in March’s CAA tournament. For the Tribe to Senior guard goes for season-high 22 points in home win remain near the top of the conference, picking up Sc h e d u l e a few road victories becomes imperative. By Chris Weidman 36-30 lead on the strength of 50 percent shooting from the The next three games will all be rematches Fri., Feb. 8 Flat Hat Staff Writer field. for the College, and first up is a date with woMen’s tennis The College began the second half strong, mounting a 6-0 Northeastern University in Boston Saturday — @ ITA National Team Indoors — A rim-bending reverse jam by sophomore forward run to enlarge its cushion to 12 points. one of the four teams the Tribe defeated after Madison, Wisc. Danny Sumner midway through the second half brought “We always talk about the first four minutes of each half,” trailing by 10 or more. After that, the Tribe the ‘Kaplan Krazies’ to their feet and put the exclamation Mann said. “They’re very athletic and have quick guards. heads south to face the University of North Sat., Feb. 9 point on a 74-62 victory for the Tribe (13-9, 9-3 CAA) [We knew we had] to limit Agudio’s shots and touches [so Carolina—Wilmington in Trask Coliseum, Track and field over visiting Hofstra University (7-15, 4-8) Wednesday that] it would be hard for their team to score.” arguably the CAA’s most difficult arena in which @ Vince Brown Invitational — night at Kaplan Arena. Agudio entered the contest as the 10th leading scorer in to play. From there, the College heads to Towson Newport News, Va. Senior guard Nathan Mann paced the College, the country, averaging 22.6 points per game while shooting University. woMen’s tennis recording team highs with 22 points and five rebounds, over 43 percent. Agudio finished the night having made five Sure, the conference did the Tribe no favors @ ITA National Team Indoors — and was complemented by senior forward Laimis Kisielius of 14 from the field, pouring in 22 points. when it back-loaded its schedule with road Madison, Wisc. who notched 13 points to go along with a game-high The Tribe played with energy and hustle for much of games and contests against Mason and Virginia men’s tennis seven assists to give the College nine wins in its last 10 the game. After Schneider set the tone with a tremendous Commonwealth University, but the College NORFOLK STATE — 9 a.m. contests. diving effort to save the ball early on, Sexton showed some has proven that its methodical offense can win GEORGE MASON — 2 p.m. “I am so impressed with our team right now,” Head intensity of his own by sliding headfirst to deflect a ball to games. MEN’s basketball Coach Tony Shaver said. “After a great win Saturday against Kisielius, who then passed it into the paint for Sumner’s In two of its most emphatic CAA victories @ Northeastern — 1 p.m. [University of North Carolina]—Wilmington we really had aforementioned reverse slam. the Tribe committed only eight turnovers, and in woMEN’s gymnastics a tough task [in facing Hofstra]. For our guys to play with “Anytime you get a dunk, it can swing momentum for its past two games the College has a team assist- @ New Hampshire (vs. Penn, such intensity, heart, effort and share the ball so well really the team,” Sumner said. “The reverse stopped [Hofstra’s] to-turnover ratio over three. Seniors Nathan Yale) — Durham, N.H. — 7 p.m. impresses me.” momentum and got the crowd into it.” Mann and Laimis Kisielius have come alive MEN’s gymnastics Sumner brought the crowd to its feet early by throwing According to Shaver, Sumner’s athleticism is unparalleled offensively, and the team defense has remained @ University of Illinois-Chicago down an alley-oop courtesy of a feed from sophomore on the Tribe roster. steadily strong, ranking third in scoring defense — 5 p.m. guard David Schneider to score the game’s opening Showing his grit and determination, Schneider outdid in the CAA. The Tribe is playing its best Sun., Feb. 10 points. The contest remained close at 8-6 with 14:30 left his first launch into the courtside seats with an equally basketball at a critical juncture in the season. in the opening frame before the College launched a 13-0 impressive sprawling effort to save a ball with 2:25 To win ballgames, the College knows it has woMen’s tennis run behind two three-pointers from freshman guard John remaining. Schneider finished the night with seven points, to make shots, play strong defense and win @ ITA National Team Indoors — Sexton. Sexton entered the game as the reigning CAA six assists, four rebounds and three steals. the turnover battle. In order to pass its road Madison, Wisc. Rookie of the Week. After spending 10 of its last 15 contests in Kaplan Arena, exam, the Tribe must rely on what has led to its men’s tennis The College stretched its lead to as many as 16, before the Tribe will play three road games during the next two victories and operate within its offense. Doing NORTHWESTERN — 11 a.m. Antoine Agudio of Hofstra connected on consecutive weeks, taking on Northeastern University, UNCW and so could keep the College in the mix at the top HOWARD — 6 p.m. three-pointers, tallying 12 first-half points to bring the Towson University. The Tribe has beaten all of these teams of the conference, and in position to grab a first- woMEN’s basketball Pride within six points at the break. The Tribe entered at home this season, yet Shaver calls these next three games round bye in the CAA tournament. @ Old Dominion — 2 p.m. halftime having been out-rebounded 24-10, yet clung to a the toughest stretch of the year. E-mail Andrew Pike at [email protected].