Exploring the Experiences of Young Adult Women Growing up with Non-Resident Fathers in North West – Tlokwe Local Municipality
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Exploring the experiences of young adult women growing up with non-resident fathers in North West – Tlokwe local Municipality by SIMON TEBOGO LOBAKA submitted in accordance with the requirements for the degree of MASTER OF ARTS in the subject SOCIOLOGY at the UNIVERSITY OF SOUTH AFRICA SUPERVISOR: PROF M.E. RABE DECEMBER 2017 i Dedications This study is dedicated to my daughter, Reabetswe Hlongoane Lobaka. I love you with all my heart. The day you were born I changed my life forever because I knew I had found someone for whom I wanted to live. I do not make many promises but the one promise I will make and keep is that you will never have to ask the question: Where is my father? I may be physically absent but the warmth of my love will always be the blanket that keeps you warm at night. You are my life, my love and my all. My world without you is not my world. I love you, Sunshine. ii Acknowledgements First, I wish to give honour to God who is the author and finisher of my faith. Thank you to God Almighty for His uncommon grace over my life. Although this study was supposed to have been completed five years ago, through His divine purpose and His perfect timing, this study will come out at the right time. To my best friend, Skeem Sam’, the love of my life and my wife, Martha Madikgoele Lobaka, loving you makes life worth living. Thank you for the support, patience and undying love. To Professor M. Rabe: Thank you for your guidance and patience through this process. This study is as much yours as it is mine. I could not have crossed the finishing line had it not been for your constant encouragement, hard work and diligence. To my parents, Maitumeleng and Tuelo Lobaka, thank you for the sacrifices you made in order to ensure that I received an education. Thank you for putting my needs before your own even when it meant you went to bed on an empty stomach. I am a product of your love. Modimo a mpolokele lona. My second set of parents, Moalusi and Moipone Sebitlo, thank you for accepting me into your world. I am glad I joined your family when I did. To my siblings, Gomotsegang Moleboge (her children, Zandile, Zanele and Rebaone Moleboge), Lebogang, Thabo and Goitsemodimo Lobaka, words cannot begin to express how much I love you. I am truly blessed to have a sister and brothers like you. Life would be meaningless without you. To Lerato Halaza and Thapelo Bovula, thank you very much for being part of the data collection. Your contribution is truly appreciated. You will make great researchers someday. I am truly grateful that you agreed to assist me. To Pastor Palo and Mrs Theresa Motsi and the rest of the Apostolic Faith Mission Emmanuel Assembly. Thank you for being my second family. Thank you for your love and support – may my Father in heaven bless you richly. iii To my colleagues from the National Social Department of Development and, in particular, the Monitoring and Evaluation team: You are an inspiration. Thank you for the support and the conducive working environment that you create which allows one to flourish. To the research participants, thank you for allowing me into your lives and permitting me invade your space. The stories you shared will do much to influence the behaviour of fathers out there. I ended every interview by saying “I love you” because I understand that many of you have never heard a man say he loves you without expecting something in return. To Seiphemelo Secondary School, Tlokwe Secondary School and AFM Emmanuel, thank you for opening your doors when I knocked to request your assistance. Mrs Buys, Ms Ratshidi, Mrs Rapule and Mr Zanele Jack, thank you for assisting with the recruitment of the participants To the editor, Alexa Barnby, thank you for taking the time to edit this document. To my friends, if I had to name you, I would literally run out of ink. Thank you for your friendship and for believing in me even when I did not believe in myself. To all my aunts, uncles, grandparents and cousins, thank you for your presence in my life and in my world. To the following families: Bosman, Pushe, Moleboge, Motsi, Rapule, Sebitlo and Maseme. Thank you, I am truly grateful for your contribution to the completion of this qualification. This was a long road characterised by late hours and early mornings but it was a necessary process and it was all worth it in the end. No time to bask in my glory as a PhD awaits. iv Name: Simon Tebogo Lobaka Student number: 5471-453-2 Degree: MA Sociology Declarations I declare that “Exploring the experiences of young adult women growing up with non- resident fathers in North West – Tlokwe Local Municipality” is my own work and that all the resources that I have used or quoted have been indicated and acknowledged by means of complete references. _____________________ ________________ Signature Date v ABSTRACT This study examines the experiences of young adult women raised in non-resident father households in Tlokwe Local Municipality, North West. Focus groups and face- to-face interviews were conducted with 34 young women between the ages 18-25. Five important, nuanced themes emerged, these are: a) fathers who are physically present but emotionally absent, b) fathers who are physically present but uninvolved, c) fathers who are physically absent but involved, d) fathers who are physically present and involved and e) fathers who are absent and uninvolved. Non-resident fatherhood remains a challenge in the Tlokwe Municipality, most of the participants had never met their biological fathers. The study revealed the frustration young women feel towards their mothers and maternal grandparents for caring more about maintenance than they do about a healthy father-daughter relationship. The study further revealed a deep- seated need for close proximity and an involved type of fathering among the young women. Keywords: fatherhood, life course perspective, absent fathers, skip-families, orphanhood, gatekeeping, Non-resident father, social father, Cross-generational relationship, trajectory. vi TABLE OF CONTENTS Page DEDICATION ii ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS iii DECLARATION v ABSTRACT vi CHAPTER 1: INTRODUCTION 1 1 1.1 The research problem 2 1.2 The significance of the study 4 1.3 Research objectives of the study 5 1.4 Research methodology 6 1.4.1 Theoretical approach 7 1.4.2 Ethical considerations 7 1.5 Operational definitions 8 1.6 Limitations of the research 8 1.7 Organisation of the thesis 9 CHAPTER 2: THEORETICAL FRAMEWORK: LIFE COURSE PERSPECTIVE 2.1 Introduction 10 2.2 Research implications 11 2.2.1 Timing lives 12 2.2.2 Human agency 14 2.2.3 Historical times 16 2.2.4 Linked lives 17 2.3 Conclusion 18 CHAPTER 3: LITERATURE REVIEW 3.1 Introduction 20 3.2 Definition of a father 20 3.3 The prevalence of non-resident fathers 21 3.4 Conceptualisation of fatherhood 22 3.4.1 Fathers as patriarch 23 3.4.2 Fathers as providers and protectors 23 3.4.3 New fatherhood 24 3.5 Fatherhood involvement 25 3.6 Importance of men in their role as fathers 26 3.7 Why fathers seem to be disappearing from children’s lives 27 3.7.1 Marriage and cohabitation 27 3.7.2 Unemployment and culture 29 3.7.3 Migrant labour 32 3.7.4 Mothers as gatekeepers 34 3.8 The effects absent fathers have on girl children 37 3.8.1 Effects of divorce on children 37 vii 3.8.2 Effects of paternal death on children 39 3.8.3 Effects of father’s absence on relationships 41 3.8.4 Academic performance of young girls 42 3.8.5 Financial deprivation and male dominance 44 3.9 Conclusion 47 CHAPTER 4: METHODOLOGY 4.1 Introduction 48 4.2 Methodological approach 48 4.3 Research design 49 4.3.1 Entry into the research environment 49 4.3.2 Sampling 50 4.3.3 Focus group interviews 51 4.3.4 Face-to-face interviews 53 4.3.5 Data analysis and interpretation 55 4.3.6 Trustworthiness 56 4.4 Ethical considerations 57 4.4.1 Anonymity and confidentiality 57 4.4.2 Informed consent 58 4.5 Limitations of the researcher 58 4.6 Conclusion 60 CHAPTER 5: RESEARCH FINDINGS 5.1 Introduction 61 5.2 Description of the research setting 61 5.3 Family relationships 62 5.4 Background 66 5.5 When is a father a parent? 68 5.6 Women’s conceptualisation of fatherhood 69 5.6.1 Fathers as financial providers and emotional supporters 70 5.6.2 Fathers as protectors 76 5.6.3 Fathers as moral guides 78 5.7 Understanding of non-resident fathers 81 5.7.1 Physically present but emotionally absent 82 5.7.2 Present but uninvolved 84 5.7.3 Absent but involved 86 5.7.4 Present and involved 87 5.7.5 Absent and uninvolved 88 5.8 Consequences of absent fatherhood 90 5.8.1 Lack of trust 90 5.8.2 Cross-generational relationships 91 5.8.3 Feelings of anger 91 5.8.4 Financial difficulties 94 5.9 Social fathering 96 5.9.1 Who are the fathers? 98 viii 5.9.2 Stepmothers as stumbling blocks 105 5.10 Conclusion 106 CHAPTER 6: DISCUSSION 6.1 Introduction 109 6.2 Demographics of participants 109 6.3 Summary of findings 109 6.3.1 Women’s conceptualisation of fathers 110 6.3.2 Challenges experienced by women raised in non-resident households 112 6.3.3 Experiences of young women raised in non-resident father households 112 6.3.4 Consequences of being raised in non-resident households 113 6.3.5 Advantages and disadvantages of social fatherhood 114 6.3.6 Summary of the theoretical framework 115 6.3.6.1 Father’ disappearing – Timing 115 6.3.6.2 Resist or respond – Young women’s reaction to non-resident fathers 116 6.3.6.3 The role of historical events – Old versus new fathers 118 6.3.6.4 Intricate interrelationships 119 6.4 Strengths of the research 120 6.5 Limitations of the study 120 6.6 Recommendations for future research 120 6.7 Conclusion 121 REFERENCES 123 APPENDICES APPENDIX A: Ethical Clearance Certificate 147 APPENDIX B: Permission letter from Department of Education 148 APPENDIX C: Questionnaire guide 149 APPENDIX D: Informed consent form 153 APPENDIX E: Request letter to recruit participants 155 APPENDIX F: In-depth and focus group interview participants’ 157 demographical characteristics ix Chapter 1: Introduction “I don’t wanna make the first move.