Southwest Washington Chapter January 2019 Newsletter 

Phone 360-562-0491  Email [email protected] Website: www.pflagswwa.org  WSC Website: www.pflagwsc.org

Join us at our regular meetings: In this issue:  New PFLAG Southwest Washington Battle Ground meeting Meeting  PFLAG National Recommended Trans LifeLine Second Tuesday, 7pm Children’s Home Society  Annual Business Meeting of the Membership 1112 Columbia Street,  National Transgender Day of Remembrance Vancouver, WA 98660  PFLAG Southwest Washington 2018 in Year in Review  PFLAG National 2018 In Review Battle Ground Meeting  QYRC’s A Queer New Year Winter Party Third Thursday, 7pm 406 NW 5th Avenue

Building B, Battle Ground, WA 98604

Next Vancouver Education and Support Meeting: January 8, 7pm  At the January meeting Ken Burris of LGBTCouve will provide an overview of this organization,  Battle Ground  The education session will be  Vancouver

followed by our caring and Inaugual Battle Ground PFLAG Meeting sharing support group.

Next Battle Ground Support meeting: On Thursday, January 17 at 7pm, PFLAG Southwest Washington will January 17, 2019 hold its inaugual Battle Ground meeting. The purpose of the Battle  The inaugural Battle Ground Ground meetings is to support parents, families, friends, and allies of meeting will open with a support the LGBTQ commuinty in the nothern reaches of Clark County. meeting followed by brain storming and organizing ways to The first meeting will consist of a support meeting followed by brain make Battle Ground safer and storming and organizing ways to make Battle Ground safer and more more inclusive for LGBTQ inclusive for LGBTQ persons. persons. 406 NW 5th Avenue Building B Battle Ground, WA 98604

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2019 dates to remember: Annual Business Meeting of the Members  Youth QYRC party, January 19, 6-8pm, see page 11 As required by the chapter bylaws the Annual Business Meeting of the  February 12, 7pm Members is to be held annually. This year the meeting will be held on Vancouver meeting February 8 following the regular education and support meeting.  February 21, 7pm Battle Ground meeting The adenda includes:  March 12, 7pm Vancouver meeting  FY 2018 review  March 21  FY 2019 goals Battle Ground meeting  April 9, 7pm  Membership report Vancouver meeting  Finance report  April 18  Communication report Battle Ground meeting  Advocacy report  May 14, 7pm  Bylaws revision discussion and vote Vancouver meeting  Election of board  May 16 Battle Ground meeting If you want to serve on the board please email the board at [email protected]. Positions are president, vice president, secretary, treasurer or secretary/treasurer, and at least two board directors. We welcome new faces and views.

PFLAG National Recommended Trans LifeLine

United in Remembrance and Conversation: Working Together to Make Our Community Safer Transgender Individuals

YWCA Facebook article posted on December 20, 2018 by Emily Ostrowski by Emily Ostrowski

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On November 20th, YWCA Clark County hosted members of the community for a vigil, followed by a facilitated community conversation in honor of Transgender Day of Remembrance. Since its inception in 1999 Transgender Day of Remembrance is meant to memorialize those who have lost their lives due to transphobia and draw attention to the increased threat of violence trans people have and continue to endure.

Thirty-three participants joined us for the vigil and many stayed for the community conversation. The community conversation consisted of three groups. Each group was posed a series of questions centering on issues faced by the trans community in Clark County, and ways in which we can make our community safer. (You can read a comprehensive overview of the questions and responses here.)

Since 2013, The Human Rights Campaign has tracked 128 known anti-transgender homicides. The true number of anti- transgender homicides is likely higher due to under-reporting. In their report, the HRC points to several legal and societal issues that contribute to a lack of LGBTQ legal protections when it comes to housing, education, employment and health care, which they say exacerbates poverty and exposes trans people to violence.

With a lack of protections also comes a level of distrust in governing and institutional bodies. Many trans and gender nonconforming individuals who attended our community conversation expressed feelings of distrust towards law enforcement, school administrations, and the medical community, and suggested that increased training for police officers, EMTs, and educators would be valuable.

“Lack of trust stems both from historical trauma, and current experiences of prejudice and bias from community systems when trans and gender nonconforming individuals do not present within strictly defined cultural norms,” said De Stewart, an Advocacy Specialist with our Sexual Assault Program. “This places trans people at greater risk for violence as youth are less likely to seek support from family members or educators, have lower graduation rates from high school, and fewer educational and job opportunities. All of which can lead to joblessness, homelessness, and at-risk behaviors just to survive. Trans individuals are also less likely to seek emergency room or medical treatment for fear of being mis-gendered, misunderstood or being treated differently because they are trans.”

Stewart, one of the facilitators for the event along with Jenn Harley and Carmen Huizara of our public policy committee, was inspired to hold a community conversation after the vigil for the first time this year in part because of how consistently she hears from the transgender community that they wanted an event that, “both recognized the loss of lives due to anti-transgender violence, while also wanting something that would help move the community forward as opposed to feeling stuck in mourning.”

She also believes that education is the first step to destigmatize and create wider acceptance of the trans community. “It is my belief that most of the anti-transgender rhetoric we hear is due to a lack of knowledge around the issues that transgender individuals face,” said Stewart. “Many people say they have never met someone who is transgender, when in all likelihood, they have. I saw this as an opportunity to humanize the transgender experience while supporting the trans community and Vancouver as a whole.”

YWCA Clark County has long supported LGBTQ rights, and we regularly collaborate with community partners in providing opportunities for education. In January 2017 we co-hosted a Community Town Hall as well as the showing of Gender Revolution at the Kiggins Theatre in May. We also provided space to hold events for LGBTQ identified youth like the Queer Prom, the Monster Ball, and the Triple Point Harvest Pride dinner. Our public policy committee advocates for the rights of trans individuals in Olympia, including fighting successfully to prevent I-1515 and I-1552, discriminatory “bathroom bills”, from making the ballot in 2016 and 2017.

While we pride ourselves on being advocates and allies for the LBGTQ community we know that just like the community we live in, we still have work to do in creating a safe place for trans individuals. A critical first step we’ve taken is to offer our staff pronoun buttons to wear, which provides a safe opportunity for trans individuals to self-identify. PFLAG Southwest Washington Newsletter-Dec 2018 3 | P a g e

Above all we promise to work with our community to make sure we are all continuing to educate ourselves on how best to support and respect the trans and gender nonconforming individuals in Clark County.

“I consistently hear expressed that education and respect are the main things allies can do to support the transgender community”, said Stewart. “One community conversation participant said, ‘You don’t have to understand it to respect it.’ Respect that this is a trans individual’s experience and ask how you can be supportive.”

We’d like to thank all our community partners and everyone who came out for the vigil and community conversation, as well as everyone in our community who has committed their time and donations to further YWCA Clark County’s mission to promote peace, justice, freedom and dignity for all.

Special thanks to: Leeza Edwards with Embodied Peace, Susan LaLone with Northwest Gender Alliance, PFLAG Southwest Washington, Children’s Home Society Triple Point, and WSU Vancouver.

PFLAG Chapter 2018 in Review

Annual Business Meeting of the Members

In addition to celebrating the 22nd chapter anniversary, at the February 13th meeting, the Board of Directors presented reports communication improvements, advocacy efforts, membership, and finances. Goals were set for 2018 which were developing and publish a new web site and increasing support for Triple Point youth. Membership was 20 and income was $1911.47 and the FY 2018 budget was set at $1152.00

Finally, a new Board of Directors was elected including De Stewart, President; Phaedra Baldwin, Vice-President; Dale Clukey Secretary/ Treasurer; Barbara Aitken, Director-at-Large; Nancy Dresher, Director-at- Large; Annette Barritt, Director-at-Large; and Ellen George, Director-at- Large.

PFLAG Presentation at Vancouver Hewlett-Packard

At the invitation of Anne Kauffman of Hewlett-Packard (HP), on March 26th PFLAG Southwest Washington chapter president De Stewart introduced HP employees to the PFLAG mission and explained how they can support LBGTQ, youth, families and allies. She also discussed issues and hardships facing LGBTQ and gender non-conforming youth, including family rejection. She then Debbie Epstein of HP, contrasted rejection to the positive outcome of family acceptance and De Stewart, Anne Kauffman of encouragement. She also encourage HP employees to get involved in HP, and Dale Clukey at the

March 26th PFLAG HP supporting LDBTQ youth. presentation

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PFLAG Chapter 2018 in Review

Boys and Girls Club LBGTQ Night At the invitation of Kaaren Dreffin, Director of Teen Turf Club of the Boys and Girls Club of Southwest Washington, PFLAG Southwest Washington participated in the Club’s first LGBTQ Family Night on May 30. The purpose of the event was to promote their OK and Teen Turf clubs as safe places for the LGBTQ community. Dale Clukey and Kaaren Dreffin wave pride flags The Chapter was represented by Dale Clukey who provided participants with at the Boys and Girls a brief history of PFLAG and gave out information about our mission, Club LGBTQ Family Night meetings, and services. In addition, pride flags were given to the youth who attended.

PFLAG Participates in the 2018 Juneteenth Celebration Juneteenth is the oldest annual celebration of black freedom and celebrates the end of slavery in America. The word “Juneteenth” is a 19th-century mash-up of “June 19,” the day in 1865 when Union General Gordon Granger read aloud a declaration in Galveston, Texas: “The people of Texas are informed that, in accordance with a proclamation from the Executive of the

United States, all slaves are free.”

Vancouver’s celebration, held on June 23 Dale Clukey and De Stewart of at Clark College, was presented by the local PFLAG and Stephen Herndon of NAACP chapter. This is the first year PFLAG Triple Point tabled at the Juneteenth celebration participated in the event.

Saturday in the Park, Vancouver USA’s Pride Festival

Saturday in the Park, Vancouver USA’s Pride Festival, celebrated its 24th aniversay on July 14th at Esther Short Park and PFLAG Southwest Washington was there again for the 24th year to add to the festivities. Ten PFLAGers manned the chapter’s colorful booth. They gave out Pride flags to children and provided information about the chapter, Triple Point, Janus, and the PFLAGers Gail Wolz and Linda Queer Youth Summit. In addition, 13 different PFLAG publications were Buckley tabled at our information available. Many visitors to the booth testfied of the benefit PFLAG has been booth. to the their lives and their families.

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PFLAG Chapter 2018 in Review

Annual Triple Point Picnic

PFLAG Southwest Washington and the Children’s Home Society put on the annual Triple Point Picnic for LGBTQ youth, on Tuesday, August 28 at Esther

Short Park. Fifty-one youth and adults attended. The chapter provided sandwiches and water while members, parents and friends brought salads,

sodas, chips, and desserts.

Triple Point group is for lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, intersex, queer and questioning youth ages 11-18. Triple Point exists to empower LGBTQ+ youth and allies by providing education, safety, support and acceptance.

Go Ready Festival

PFLAG Southwest Washington participated in the 2018 Vancouver School District’s Go Ready festival at Hudson’s Bay High School on August 22. Go Ready is designed to help students get ready for school.

The event included food, entertainment, family-friendly activities, and PFLAGERs Dale Clukey, Linda information about early learning, employment, counseling, health care, Buckley, and De Stewart tabled housing and other resources such as PFLAG. at the Go Ready event. Linda provided Spanish interpretation.

Peace and Justice Fair

The annual Peace and Justice Fair was held on September 8 at Esther Short Park. There was music, dancing, poetry, and good food. Many organizations dedicated to promoting diversity and goodwill were there, including many LGBTQ affirming churches, Triple Point, NCAAP, League of Women Voters, Planned Parenthood, and, of course, PFLAG Southwest Washington.

Besides giving Pride flags to many children, the PFLAG booth provided Information about our chapter and PFLAG’s mission and values. Colored chalk and bubble-blowing solution provided fun for the kids who visited the PFLAG booth, and their participation earned each a PFLAG sticker on their Passport. PFLAGERs De Stewart and Dale Clukey joined Triple Point’s Stephen Herndon (center) at the Peace and Justice Fair .

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PFLAG Chapter 2018 in Review

PFLAG Celebrates Diversity at the Fourth Plain Multicultural Festival

It was a balmy day at Vancouver’s Evergreen Park where PFLAG Southwest Washington helped celebrate Vancouver’s Fourth Plain Multicultural Festival. On stage the audience enjoyed music, songs and dancing from a multitude of cultures including Bulgarian, Punjabi, Hawaiian, Native American, and Mexican. The food booths offered equally diverse offerings.

This family-friendly event was ideal for spreading the word bout PFLAG. We gave out Pride flags and PFLAG flyers and booklets. It was not all work as members Foster Nostrand (shown right), De Stewart, and Dale Clukey enjoyed the good food and had a fun time dancing to the swinging music!

PFLAG Southwest Washington Hosts Washington State Council Conference Opening Doors to Safe Spaces

On September 29 PFLAG Southwest Washington

hosted the Fall 2018 Washington State Conference.

Three guest speakers Seth Kirby, a youth advocate

and leader, Jim Ritter, a gay Seattle police officer, and Diego Sanchez, PFLAG National advocacy

director,

Seth Kirby chronicled the growth and progress of the Oasis youth program in Tacoma. The Oasis youth experienced family rejection, homelessness, and lack of access to healthcare. Early on the Oasis was forced to meet in an undisclosed locations due to attempts to burn down their meeting place, to damage their cars, or to crash their meetings. Oasis staff networked within the community to find safe spaces for homeless youth, and provide referrals and partial payments for safe medical resources, including mental health services. Now they meet safely and openly. He discussed the challenge of serving a growing number of younger youth and also LGBTQ immigrants.

Seth pointed out that about one-third of LGBTQ immigrants are undocumented. Their need for help is critical, because their homelands are not safe places for them. Those in the DACA program are currently in a “horrible limbo.” Oasis partners with immigration attorneys to address the needs of LGBTQ immigrant youth. ------Officer Jim Ritter of the Seattle Police Department and founder of the SAFE PLACE Initiative, began by telling us how afraid his twenty-three-year-old daughter had been to tell him she was gay, even though he is a gay man. He went on to explain that even though times have improved from the days when “roving bands of teens” would drive around and assault gays, LGBTQ people are still targeted. He discovered that hate crimes in Seattle

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weren’t being reported to the police, either because the victims weren’t out yet, or because they didn’t trust police.

He set about to change that. Since most of the attacks occurred in commercial, not residential districts, he asked businesses to post a rainbow sticker in their windows to let LGBTQ people the businesses offered safety and help. Businesses agreed to call 911 for any victim who entered their doors and to let them stay until the police arrived.

To his surprise, the initiative went viral. Japan sent a TV crew to shadow and film Jim, then created a program shown all over Japan. Soon, other jurisdictions showed an interest: the United Kingdom, Alabama, Tucson, Denver, Louisville, and more. The Royal Canadian Mounted Police presented the program to Parliament, who passed it into law, and now all RCMP use the program. ------Throughout his talk, Diego Sanchez, mentioned the intersectionality of oppression and the benefits of intersectional cooperation, as well as the importance of doing things “the PFLAG way.” The latter involves confronting opposition or ignorance by telling our stories and acting calmly. “Stories change hearts, minds, understanding, votes, and laws,” he said.

He acknowledged the courage it takes to tell stories of courage, and told his own story of emigrating from Panama, then navigating his transition from female to male in the 1960s and 1970s.

Diego cautioned us not to gather power for ourselves, but to give power to others, to give people room to grow.

He mentioned the increased attacks against the LGBTQ community today:  For youth, the bathroom issue that continues to crop up  For the elderly, legal issues faced when, for example, they must enter nursing facilities  For trans in the military, the latest executive order and its ramifications

“But looking forward,” Diego said, “we’ve tasted equality and it will return.” He mentioned a couple of hopeful signs: the , which helps LGBTQ people enter safely, and equality indexes the LGBTQ community can research to find equality-friendly healthcare, corporations, and even cities.

PFLAG National 2018 in Review

2018 Best and the Worst 2018 was a year with some high highs and, as always, some very low lows. Here’s PFLAG National’s top 10-–did your bests and worsts make the list? Best

There was solid LGBTQ+ visibility in television this year. We can thank Ryan Murphy for no small amount of that exposure, thanks to his show POSE and its trans cast members. Lena Waithe became the first black, openly queer woman to grace the cover of Vanity Fair, while PFLAG mom Betty DeGeneres’s daughter continued her reign as the queen of daytime. Even cartoons made the LGBTQ+ community’s presence a major part of the PFLAG Southwest Washington Newsletter-Dec 2018 8 | P a g e

story, with the first animated same-sex wedding proposal (and so, so much more) in STEVEN UNIVERSE (from the incredibly creative mind of its non-binary female, bisexual creator, Rebecca Sugar, the first female to independently create a show for Cartoon Network). Plus, there was the long-anticipated kiss between fan favorites Princess Bubblegum and Marceline in the ADVENTURE TIME finale (a show that Sugar worked on prior to creating STEVEN UNIVERSE). Overall, the LGBTQ+ community saw record gains in visibility, with more LGBTQ+ people of color than white LGBTQ+ people; read a comprehensive report from our friends at GLAAD. LGBTQ participation in politics was at an all-time high in the 2018 midterms. There was a “Rainbow Wave” of LGBTQ+-identified people who ran for office--and were subsequently elected--across America. According to the Victory Fund, an unprecedented 432 openly LGBTQ+ candidates ran for elected office this election cycle, and 244 of them won their races. There were a number of great “cultural” and business firsts for LGBTQ+ people in 2018. Angela Ponce became the first transgender woman to be crowned Miss Spain and the first openly trans Miss Universe contestant, and Patricio Manuel was the first transgender boxer to compete and win a professional fight. The Pentagon signed in its first transgender recruit (see more on trans military service, sadly in the Worsts below), and Beth Ford, a lesbian and mother of three, was named CEO of Land O'Lakes--the first openly gay woman to lead a Fortune 500 company. Nickelodeon recently featured its first-ever same-sex couple on its family game show Double Dare. And coming up? The Rose Parade will make history with its first lesbian Rose Queen! Although there are still many challenges ahead (see the Worsts below), there was a major stride forward for LGBTQ+ parenting: Five states--California, Massachusetts, Nevada, Vermont and Washington--now allow a birth parent and another parent of any gender to complete a simple form at the hospital, making them both legal parents with the full force of a court order (unlike a birth certificate). GLAD Senior Staff Attorney Patience Crozier told Mombian’s Dana Rudolph that VAPs are “a real game changer.” There’s more coverage on VAPs, and a fantastic full “Parenting Year in Review” at Mombian; check it out! Conversion therapy bans continue to roll across the country. Delaware approved legislation in 2018, becoming the fifth state this year, along with Hawaii, Maryland, New Hampshire, and Washington. They join California, Connecticut, Illinois, Nevada, New Jersey, New Mexico, Oregon, Rhode Island, and Vermont--as well as Washington, D.C.--which already have bans in place. Florida has introduced legislation to ban this dangerous practice, which they will consider beginning in the 2019 legislative session, and Texas State Rep. Celia filed her bill on a ban, which will be considered when the Texas Legislature begins its session in January. At a local level, advocates in Birmingham, Alabama are also working toward an ordinance banning the practice, Harrisburg, Virginia is considering a local ban, and Denver might become the first city in Colorado with a ban. All in all, this is excellent, and much-needed, progress, and PFLAG has been proud not only to support this legislation across the country, but also to partner on the excellent film Boy Erased--including a PFLAG-featured poster for the film-- which is a true story about one family’s experience with this harmful practice. **Bonus Best** PFLAG's 45th anniversary! PFLAG celebrated 45 years of saving LGBTQ+ lives, one family at a time. It began simply in 1972, when Jeanne Manford marched by her son, Morty's side, and a first meeting in March 1973. And now there are 400+ chapters across the country, with PFLAGers everywhere providing support, education, advocacy--and much-needed hugs at every since 1973. We were moved by the notables who shared words of love and what PFLAG means to them; we were honored to celebrate Champions of Justice Rep. John Lewis, Rep. Jared Polis, Sen. Tammy Baldwin, and Rep. Barny Frank (ret) at our 45th Anniversary Celebration, and most of all - we are now further strengthened by the data, which proves what we have known for over four decades: Family acceptance saves lives. Here's to the next 45 years--PFLAG's legacy of love continues.

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Worsts

As of this writing, 26 transgender people--that we know of--were murdered this year. The most recent, Kelly Stough of Detroit, was killed by a pastor in her community. Stough’s mother Jessica Chantae Stough told NBC News, “I want people to know that because she was transgender doesn’t mean that she was not loved, that she was not cared for. She has a family who cared about her, who loved her and I want them to know that transgender ladies--expressly those of color--they’re just not throwaways; people care about them.” According to a 2016 report from The National Coalition of Anti-Violence Programs (NCAVP), trans women of color are at greater risk of being killed in hate crimes than any other group, and the rates of these murders have been steadily rising for the last several years. Read more on other members of the trans community, whose lives were taken this year...far too soon. The attempt to ban transgender service members from the military continues, now making its way through the courts. The Trump Administration, however, attempted to play “legal leapfrog,” bypassing lower courts and asking the U.S. Supreme Court to hear the case instead. Transgender service members and legal advocates (including our friends at GLAD and NCLR) filed briefs asking the U.S. Supreme Court to block the Trump Administration’s request, stating, among other things, that lower courts have not yet been given an opportunity for review and decision. Stay tuned to--or sign up for--Policy Matters, our bi-weekly policy and advocacy newsletter, for updates. Yet another threat to the lives of our transgender loved ones came in the form of a memo. The memo reported on by The New York Times, included current administration plans to define gender based on people’s external genitalia, as part of their larger efforts to roll back protections for transgender Americans. Over 1,600 scientists weighed in, stating that the redefinition isn’t grounded in science, while dozens of companies across the country spoke out against this potentially harmful action. Dozens of advocacy organizations spoke out, including PFLAG National in a statement from board member Stephanie Battaglino. Anti-LGBTQ+ legislation overall was on the rise again in 2018, and not just the many active bills targeting trans persons. There was legislation introduced infringing on LGBTQ+ rights in the areas of adoption, schools, and healthcare access in states across the country. There was also a continued rise of so-called First Amendment Defense Acts (FADAs), and the spread of religious exemption laws. Kansas, Oklahoma and South Carolina this year joined Alabama, Michigan, Mississippi, North Dakota, South Dakota, Texas and Virginia in allowing adoption and foster-care agencies to cite religious beliefs or moral convictions as reasons to reject otherwise qualified parents, including those who are LGBTQ+. PFLAG National co-leads the coalition to pass the Every Child Deserves a Family Act, a federal law to end such discrimination; the work is clearly not over. For a comprehensive review of this legislation--which is updated every Monday--visit our friends at the ACLU and be sure to stay current with our Policy Matters newsletter. The continued marginalization of, and violence towards, a variety of communities made 2018 a particularly harmful and devastating year for many. Despite wins on DACA (Deferred Action for Childhood Arrivals) and the travel ban (at least for now), and election gains in the midterms, immigrants continued to take legislative and administrative hits--with sometimes fatal consequences--throughout 2018. Police violence against people of color was on the rise, and the hashtag #LivingWhileBlack tracked incidents of people being reported for such non-crimes as “swimming while black,” “golfing while black,” and “using the restroom at Starbucks while black.” Despite continued issues of sexual harassment in the boardroom, sexual assault in the bedroom and elsewhere, a lack of access to healthcare for many, and the expiration of the Violence Against Women Act thanks to a partial government shutdown, women continued to push back in 2018.

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We’ll end with our most important best: YOU! From the addition of 23 new chapters providing peer-to-peer support, to the much-needed PFLAG-provided education which continues to move people forward on the ally spectrum, to the incredible advocacy both with legislators and one-on-one with neighbors, friends, colleagues and co-workers, there is no question that you top our list of bests. We thank you for all you’ve done in 2018--and will continue to do in the year ahead--to make this a world where diversity is celebrated and all people are respected, valued, and affirmed. We wish you and yours a happy and healthy New Year!

Events In the Future

A Queer New Year Winter Party Hosted by the Queer Youth Resource Center in partnership with Connect BG

 Saturday, January 19, 2019

 6:00-8:00pm

 Connect BG (Building B) 406 Northwest 5th Avenue Battle Ground, WA, 98604

 Calling all LGBTQ+ youth in the Battle Ground area! Come join us for an evening of music, dancing, & community as we celebrate a queer New Year.

 This is an alcohol/drug-free event for LGBTQ+ youth & their allies - all ages welcome.

 Free Admission | Doors open at 6:00pm (event ends at 8:00pm)

 For questions & accommodations, message the Queer Youth Resource Center on our Facebook page or at [email protected]

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