A Skateboard Serenade (.com) 7. The Philosopher’s Stone The Philosopher’s Stone

“Pour que l’orage s’annonce. Here’s my station…” Saint Claude – Christina and the Queens

“The wind is howling like this swirling storm inside. Couldn’t keep it in, heaven knows I’ve tried. Don’t let them in, don’t let them see. Be the good girl you always have to be. Conceal, don’t feel, don’t let them know. Well, now they know!” Let it go – Frozen

“Riders on the storm. Into this house we’re born [Jesus: ‘In My Father’s house are many rooms. If that were not so, would I have told you that I am going there to prepare a place for you?” John 14:2], into this world we’re thrown. Like a dog [movie ‘Jupiter ascending’] without a bone, an actor [Heath Ledger] out on loan. Riders on the storm. There’s a killer on the road [Michael (fictive name for my ex of 12,5 years) who was once involved in lethal car accident]; his brain is squirming like a toad [toad = ‘frog’; link with Heath’s movies ‘10 things I hate about you’ and ‘The Brothers Grimm’]. Take a long holiday, let your children play. If you give this man a ride, sweet melody will die. Killer on the road, yeah. Girl you gotta love your man. Take him by the hand, make him understand. The world on you depends, our life will never end. Gotta love your man, yeah.” Riders on the storm – The Doors

“An actor will seek revenge. I don’t know why and I don’t know when. There’ll be talk, there’ll be action. Boys demanding satisfaction from girls. Oh, you’d hate to play a girl!” An Actor Will Seek Revenge - Destroyer

ALCHEMY On the left, you see the alchemical Philosopher’s Stone, as depicted by one alchemist. It says:

1. Make of a man and woman a circle 2. Then a quadrangle 3. Out of this a triangle 4. And make a circle again

The pictured alchemist uses a well-known, Freemasonic tool: the compass, from which the left ‘leg’ is touching the brim of the outer/final circle, a bit off to the left side of the middle, and the right ‘leg’ is touching the intersection between the inner circle and the square; exactly in the middle of the final circle and directly below the tip of the triangle. There are some tools and symbols on the floor, such as the Star of David within a circle, a regular polygon, a square, a cross, and something that resembles a fan (great pun, hon) or a section of a bisected circle with concentric circles. There’s also, what looks like, a black, little creature hanging on the top-left side of the brick wall, from which the stone are, vertically seen, placed in the familiar ‘one-out-of-two-out-of-one’ (1-2-1- 2-1 etc.) fashion. Wikipedia: “It [Philosopher’s Stone] is also called the elixir of life, useful for rejuvenation and for achieving immortality; for many centuries, it was the most sought goal in alchemy.”

“You let me in, so I could guide your hand. A quest for gold that yielded lead. So many things I still do not understand, would rear their ugly heads instead.” […] “How you choose to wear your heart, is how they’ll cast your part. You wear a world upon your sleeve. The way you choose to wear your heart, is how they will tear you apart. Do you choose to save the world or to deceive? What you needed the most, were no more of these ghosts… of my broken promises. What you needed the most never even came close to my broken promises.” Broken promises - Phoenix Effect

Alchemy is “an ancient branch of natural philosophy, the modern chemistry and pharmacology; the philosophical and protoscientific tradition practiced throughout Europe, Africa and Asia. It aimed to purify, mature and perfect certain objects. Common aims were chrysopoeia, the transmutation of ‘base metals’ (e.g. lead) into ‘noble’ metals (particularly gold) [My emphasis because of the very important link with Heath’s ‘phoenix’ (which is an alchemical bird that rises from its own ashes) movie ‘A Knight’s Tale’. In the movie, a triple phoenix is William’s (Heath’s) ‘logo’ and can be seen on his shield. This text, combined with reality, also explains why in the fairy tale series ‘Once upon a time’ (link with Heath through his movie ‘The Brothers Grimm’) magician Mr. Gold/Rumpelstiltskin/’The Beast’ loves book-addict Belle and why Harley Quinn (The Joker’s girlfriend from ‘Suicide Squad’) and Hermione Granger (Harry Potter’s ‘Mrs. Know-it-all’) love reading books as well. Don’t worry, at some point it will make sense; it’s all about metaphors (figures of speech that can identify hidden similarities between two ideas). Maybe I have to add that some people do think I’m crazy though – define ‘normal’ please – which, obviously, doesn’t necessarily has to mean they’re right]; the creation of an elixir of immortality; the creation of panaceas able to cure any disease [mind over matter], and the development of an alkahest, a universal solvent [The Story]. The perfection of the human body and soul was thought to permit or result from the alchemical Magnus Opus [Great Work] and, in the Hellenistic and Western tradition, the achievement of gnosis [knowledge/wisdom – extensively discussed in the chapter ‘A fantastic guessipe’] in Europe [like The Netherlands, which happens to be my beloved home country with its Dutch Lion, formerly known as the Republic of the 7 United Netherlands], the creation of a philosopher’s stone was variously connected with all of these projects.”

“Gilliam: “You’ve got the Rumpelstiltskin thing, where the daughter’s going to be taken, you’ve got Faust in there, you’ve got Prospero [also a character from V for Vendetta] from The Tempest, you’ve got King Lear – it just goes on and on and on. There’s a great collection of knowledge floating around in there [Gilliam points to his head], and it just started pouring out in its own way.” www.wired.com - Hugh Hart - ‘How Terry Gilliam weathered loss of Heath Ledger to finish fanciful Imaginarium’ - July 1st 2010

When looking up the word ‘chrysopoeia’ in Wikipedia, I saw that it’s accompanied by an old illustration of an Oubouros, which is a snake eating its own tail, with the words “The all is one”. Why am I not surprised? ‘All is one’ is one of the, if not: THE basic foundation of this book (since we’re all part of Life itself) and on top of it, Heath’s name is like an Oubouros in itself: ‘H eat H’. In Heath’s last movie ‘The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus’, immortality is linked with fame through dead celebrities, like Rudolph Valentino, Lady Diana and James Dean, whose pictures are floating on little boats on a dark river. This happens in the ‘spiritual enlightenment’ scene where Johnny Depp, as a behind-the-mirror-version of Heath’s character, Tony Liar, is about to beat the Devil.

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A Skateboard Serenade (.com) 7. The Philosopher’s Stone

According to Tom Watts, who plays this devious character Mr. Nick, he’s not just playing A devil, but THE Devil – remember what I said before: it’s all about metaphors. Tony is about to win and save Valentina by reaching the number 5, when…

“It goes like this: the 4th, the 5th; the minor fall, the major lift. The baffled King composing...” Hallelujah – Jeff Buckley his past as a fake goodwill ambassador for children catches up with him, in the form of the mafia. Tony lied; you see. ‘Coincidentally’, this was Heath’s last scene before his death.

“Now your dancing child with his Chinese suit, he spoke to me, I took his [Pan] flute. No, I wasn’t very cute to him, now was I? But I did it though, because he lied. Because he took you for a ride. And because time was on his side. And because I…” I want you – Bob Dylan

“He was very handsome. And a very good criminal.” Candy

If you saw the movie ‘Coco’, about the Mexican ‘Day of the Dead’, you understand that only when somebody is forgotten, (s)he really dies. Obviously, the more famous you are, the less likely you’ll be forgotten, hence the ‘immortality’ or ‘eternal life’ that the Philosopher’s Stone talks about. After seeing Heath’s work ROAR, The Dark Knight and The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus, it’s clear that ‘immortality’ isn’t always so great as one might initially assume it to be. “Rule number 1: Fuck what they think” Leadership quotes

This book is for wise people, which isn’t necessarily the same as what our society defines as ‘intelligent’ or ‘educated’ (as in: university degrees, for example). That un(der)developed people won’t be able to see its beauty and magic and understand the eternal wisdom that lies behind it, doesn’t take away its truth and it’s not my responsibility neither; some things are as they are. And, by the way, ‘Wat niet is kan altijd nog komen’; a Dutch saying that literally translates as: ‘That what not is, can still always come’. I mean, I became who I am because I made spiritual development one of my main priorities in life; my quest. And if I can do it, anybody can, especially because Life/WhatEver will help you out in the most perfect way possible; it’s Its goal, you see. The Creator wants you to wake up. Once The Book’s potential is recognized and realized, which undoubtedly will happen, because it’s The Utmost Highest Who’s behind it, the logical consequence will be that (if we want it or not) The Story brings eternal life to Heath and myself. Right now, he’s ‘just another actor’ and I’m an absolute nobody; we’re nothing special and ones out of many in our own ways. Well, sort of: ‘everybody’ knows Heath was/is the best and, through his impressive art, already impossible to forget.

As [Christopher] Plummer puts it, “Anybody in this business enjoys themselves as much as Heath did is unusual, and valuable, and what it’s all about. I like to think of Heath as not having disappeared [my emphasis]. Because the one thing the screen does, that the theatre does not, is to make you immortal. He was a joy and he’ll go on being a joy. Heath will be with us forever.” [Source: www.vanityfair.com/news/2009/08/heath-ledger200908] During 28 years Heath managed to touch the hearts of millions of people in such an incredibly special way that his death on January 22nd 2008 send out a world-wide wave of shock, anger and deep sadness. For many of these people ‘acceptance’ never came and even though I tried for years to convince myself that for me it did, in truth, it never really happened.

“My dad wrote four words on a tiny piece of paper; these are the stages you’ll go through. Shock, anger and deep sadness. In time acceptance will come too. Well, I wish I could fast forward the time, or, for that matter, rewind.” H – Grace Woodroofe

The Book will bring the immortality the Philosopher’s Stone promises, because The Story IS the Philosopher’s Stone, as you’ll come to understand. The promise of rejuvenation doesn’t refer to physical rejuvenation necessarily (but is a possibility nevertheless), but to a cosmic re-birth, seen from a spiritual perspective. A rebirth into a higher level of consciousness: enlightenment. As indicated before, immortality might have a serious downside though, which is also confirmed by Anastasia (Ringing Cedars of Russia book series) when she indicates that souls can’t go on if they’re still thought about after death, when describing a conversation between Radomir and Argan.

“Don’t be sad, little pine tree, it’s all nonsense here… My thought will break through these bad times of barbarity. Once more there will flourish bright ages of clarity. To all earthly goddesses the morn will give hail. And my thought will imply to them: Good shall prevail!” Argan – Anastasia book 8.2 ‘Rites of Love’ by Vladimir Megre

Immortality Eternal life was never on my wish list, but enlightenment definitely was, which I always defined as being happy independent of external circumstances. I know we can all have eternal life soul wise, but I don’t consciously experience this, otherwise I would be able to remember my past lives as I would be able to remember what I did in my childhood (probably). Which I don’t. Fame is not on my wish list neither; I think it’s highly toxic and turning people into modern versions of gods and worshipping them the way we do is very destructive and dangerous, especially when many of these celebrities are incredibly stupid. Yesterday I saw a guy wearing a t-shirt that said: “Stop making stupid people famous”. Amen to that. Maybe that’s why Life thought I was the right person to receive these ‘gifts’, because ego would not be there to pollute it and I have a message that is important. Yes, I know how arrogant and hypocritical this sounds, but if ‘nobody’ believes in me, I have to do it myself; there’s a difference. And I might be considered crazy (define ‘normal’ please), but at least I’m not stupid. The good news is that the wrongness of our contemporary ‘fame-madness’ can be reversed back and actually used as a powerful tool to do good. Fact is that Heath created a celebrity platform that ensures that as many people as possible will be interested in The Story. Smart A.S.S.

Personally, I think that a life without fame is a lot quieter and way more peaceful. And isn’t this exactly the example our children need? Once they wanted to become fire(wo)men, teachers, doctors and nurses, so they could help people, but now children want to become rich and famous; how sad is that? Trust me on this one, if I thought it would have been better to write The Book anonymously, I most certainly would have, but, for obvious reasons (like security and proof), I don’t. I don’t mind if people forget about me though, because I know I’ll live on as part of ‘All That Is’; Life itself. And if my ego has some unexpected issues with not becoming famous, I’ll take that as a great lesson to learn to let go of that egotistical limitation. I came to understand that, in the end, it’s not up to me to decide what happens and I should accept and trust life as it comes, even if that seems to be the opposite of what I think is best and/or hope it will be. In the end, for me at least, it turns out that all is grace. Nevertheless, I’m very well aware of that fact that ‘rich and fame’ can make ‘creation’ a lot more efficient and effective, but only when you have the freedom to use it as you deem fit and aren’t somebody’s puppet.

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A Skateboard Serenade (.com) 7. The Philosopher’s Stone

IF, it would be up to me… I very much like the romantic idea of The Book becoming the ignition of an underground, modern, flower power, hippie-ish kind of resistance movement of peaceful non-compliance and ‘rebelicious’ non-conformability, that will make the corrupt and evil organizations crumble like the houses of cards that they are and take over the world as a love story by surprise: V for Vendetta’s first domino. And, once The Book is out, it doesn’t need me for that. As long as we have hearts, minds, eyes, mouths, ears, hands and feet (the rest of a body would be handy as well actually, coming to think of it), it doesn’t need big, corrupt, elite-owned media corporations to spread the word neither. You want to read The Story? Ask around or go to www.askateboardserenade.com where you can download it for free (if ‘they’ didn’t take it down already, under the disguise of whatever lie, such as ‘this is for your protection’ or ‘racism’ or ‘defamation’ or ‘fear mongering’, just to name a few).

“I’ve heard a rumour…” The Umbrella Academy

“People should not be afraid of their governments. Governments should be afraid of their people.” V for Vendetta

“Fuck the 1% without lack, we’re the 99% and we want our money back!” Anonymous

Wikipedia: “The philosopher’s stone was the central symbol of the mystical terminology of alchemy, symbolizing perfection at its finest, enlightenment, and heavenly bliss. Efforts to discover the philosopher’s stone were known as the Magnus Opus (Great Work).” Interestingly enough, the movie that brought Heath in my life in 2009 was ‘A Knight’s Tale’ that happened to be shot in Prague, a city known for its links with alchemy and the place where Heath hooked up with Heather Graham ‘From Hell’ (Hey, don’t look at me like that. It really was the name where ‘Felicity Shag well’ (as in: ‘enjoy good sex’ – although she didn’t look very happy on the picture in ‘I AM Heath Ledger’ where Heath’s best friend Trevor was grabbing his balls) was working on at that time with Johnny Depp). A couple of years ago I was in Prague myself and one of the surprise visits we made was to a secret alchemy laboratory that was connected through underground tunnels to different locations. While ‘aimlessly’ walking around we happened to stumble upon it. Gotta love metaphors and synchronicity!

1. Make of a man and woman a circle In MY version of the Philosopher’s Stone, Heath Ledger and myself are the man and woman, forming a Yin Yang; thereby uniting darkness and light – G(o)od and (D)evil. Not coincidentally (in retrospect), a Yin Yang was his Heath’s tattoo in his 1st lead-role movie ‘Two Hands’ and my 1st piercing.

Tattoos For your information: these types of body ornaments are considered ‘evil’ according to many religious people, since the bible, in (thank God for internet) Leviticus 19:28, says: “Ye shall not make any cuttings in your flesh for the dead, nor print any marks upon you: I am the Lord.” Despite the fact that I love God, a lot actually, I don’t mind having a tattoo and piercing, because I happen to have them in the here and now and I believe that is exactly as(s) it should be. But maybe that’s easy for me to say, since I’m not that much into the bible anymore. Everybody can see for themselves how normal tattoos and piercings have become now-a-days though, especially because of over-tattooed ‘role model’ celebs, like musicians and sports players. Satan must be having a blast when he sees how bible loving people unknowingly mock themselves by having tattoos, according to the aforementioned command. In 1 Corinthians 6:19 it says: “Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefor honour God with your bodies.” Even though the definition of ‘honour’ is up for debate and I’m kind of allergic to dogmatic instructions, based on Masuru Emoto’s work: ‘The hidden messages of water’, it’s very clear that different tattoos have a different energetic impact on the 70% water that your body consists of and you therefore better be careful with what you choose to print upon your skin.

Heath didn’t know this, or, what’s way more likely, he did know and maybe decided to cremate care, because he had (what looks like) a devil tattoo above his heart in the movie ‘Two hands’. The tattoo is clearly visible in a picture of him ‘frolicking’ in the sea in a pair of wet underpants that didn’t leave much to the imagination. By doing so, he showed his apparent allegiance for anybody with eyes to see. This movie’s links with Satanism are confirmed by the use of its (hell) fire intro, which includes a subliminal image of what looks like a demonic or devilish figure rolling up, or pulling down, (or whatever it is that the creature is doing – give me a break here, I’m a woman, not an expert) his penis.

“Don’t shoot the messenger” – Heath’s last words on screen

Oh, and for all tattoo-loving bible persons who think I’m making fun of them… I’m not. I’m actually giving you the opportunity to consciously change the meaning of any risky tattoos, in case you start having doubts, by observing them differently. Because, according to quantum physics, by using the power of your observation and will, you can actually change things, which is confirmed by Masuru Emoto’s work, that showed that human consciousness can change the molecular structure of water. As it turns out, you happen to be a very powerful creator, you see, which is something (Australian) Rhonda Byrne already told the world in ‘The Secret’ (which, in turn, is based on the great ‘Teachings of Abraham’ by Esther and Jerry Hicks). And the more people who don’t automatically attach conditioned labels to certain symbols (like the label ‘death’ to a skull for example), but start seeing them as reminders of breaking free from Saturn’s/Satan’s Matrix instead (keep on reading and you’ll soon understand what I’m talking about), the more we reverse their energy and use it to our own advantage. It’s not rocket science; you just have to be a bit creative. By the way: it’s not wise to go or ‘fight’ against the hidden meaning of certain symbols and words, because you’ll be only giving them more energy. Since everything is energy and energy flows where attention goes, it’s way more efficient to focus on what you DO want, instead of what you don’t want.

Hello Kitty “Kitty got claws.” V for Vendetta

Believe it or not, words and symbols carry power. Lots of power, actually. Thing is that if you’re not aware of the possible hidden meaning of certain words and symbols (like “Hello Kitty” and a religious cross, for example), their energetic impact, or hidden meaning, can be used to support or enforce goals that you might not necessarily agree with or are even vehemently opposed to. And this is even the case if you didn’t imprint it directly on your skin. The religious cross I’ll be discussing later on, but the example of ‘Hello Kitty’, specifically, not, so I better get it over with: in MK-Ultra (MK stands for Mind Kontrol, German spelling) and/or Monarch Mind Control Programming, the term ‘kitten’ refers to Beta Sex Kitten programming a.k.a. sex slave programming. If you do your homework, which I kindly suggest you start with a.s.a.p. (David Icke and www.vigilantcitizen.com would make a good start), you’ll soon be able to see for yourself the incredible amount of symbolical references to this type of programming, and the insane frequency at which they show up everywhere; like the feline print and (S.M.) sex references. The fact is that every time a MK-slave gets confronted with these types of symbols, subconsciously, it enforces the specific programming linked to those symbols. You can see it as some sort of very efficient, albeit lazy, way to keep the MK-programming intact and

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A Skateboard Serenade (.com) 7. The Philosopher’s Stone since MISE (my personal abbreviation for, the worst-case-scenario of, a group of overlapping ‘topics’ that sounds like ‘mice’, reminds me of ‘demise’ and, sort of, covers ‘contemporary evil’: Mind control/Mafia, Illuminati -Ill’s/sick ones-, Satanism/Secret Societies, Elite) is ruling the world (media, fashion, news, entertainment, politics/government, banking, big companies etc.; you name it and they’ve got their fingers in it) it’s not that difficult to control the ‘output’ to ‘the masses’, including MK-slaves. The problem here is that, through the abuse of the self-protection mechanisms of the brain (amnesia) by intentional fragmentation through trauma and terror, ‘alters’ or ‘parts’ are created in the slave’s mind (‘schizophrenia’) who are not consciously aware of being (ab)used and programmed. They just don’t remember. This can be very convenient for the slave, in order to be able to deal with the unbearable (one could therefor see this mental mechanism as a gift from a most Benevolent God), but, obviously, it’s also convenient for perpetrators to keep their crimes, identities and plans hidden.

You can compare this to an average somebody who gets hypnotized to forget something happened, which, despite what some hypnotists assure their clients, is a definitely a possibility (Source: ‘Secret, don’t tell’ by Carla Emery), albeit maybe a small one – I emphasize: for the average somebody. And through all kinds of means, like songs and movies, pictures, symbols, signs, sounds, shapes, colours, code words, sentences etc. (it could be anything basically), this programming of MK-slaves is maintained and/or enforced. Just to name a few examples, to give you an idea: the song ‘Remind me to forget’ from Kygo and Miguel, ‘I forgot to remember to forget’ from Elvis Presley (and also The Beatles), ‘Can’t remember to forget you’ (MK-slaves take things literally, so the ‘Can’t remember’-part already does the trick and doubles the ‘hold’, as in: I can’t even remember that I have to forget you) from Colombian Shakira feat. Rihanna (more about Rihanna later), ‘How can I remember to forget’ from Sarah Paxton, ‘Pain is pleasure’ by The Last Ten Seconds Of Life, ‘Pleasure & Pain’ by Quefle & Zank and ‘Pleasure and pain’ from Fairport Convention. Check out the lyrics and read for yourself. Who needs fiction when you have truth? Like Elisa E. says in her books ‘My life beyond MK-Ultra’; this doesn’t mean the artists consciously participated in this scenario though and it might very well be they were used as ignorant puppets by some malevolent force. Something to do with being of temporary insanity and reduced liability.

MK ‘epidemic’ Maybe you think I’m exaggerating? According to author Fritz Springmeier (he wrote the books ‘The Illuminati Formula Used to Create an Undetectable Total Mind Controlled Slave’, ‘Deeper Insights into the Illuminati Formula’ and ‘Bloodlines of the Illuminati’), MK is the new ‘epidemic’ and its numbers run in the millions. I also have a hard time believing this, but unless proven otherwise, it is a possibility and if you consider there are like 6 billion people on earth, even the insane amount of 100 million would only represent 1.7%. For your information: according to www.worldometers.info the total Dutch population is currently 17,127,417 (which equals 0.28% of 6 billion). The former means that, on average, out of every 100 people you know, between 1 and 2 persons should be MK-slaves. Since the whole system is (quite obviously) built up in such a way that nobody is likely to find out (and MK-slaves don’t walk around with a sign “DID” – Dissociative Identity Disorder – around their neck), maybe these, and even much higher, numbers are not so crazy after all. I think I know quite a few people and, indeed, via one friend, there’s a woman that shows a lot of signs that match the disturbing profile. Even more so, her husband shows signs of being her handler, not in the last place because of his weird link with ‘reptilians’, and the fact that he starts to speak ‘reptilian’ (his words, not mine – don’t worry) when he’s ‘drunk’. If this would be it, maybe I would as well say ‘get a life’, but one of my very good friends (well worthy of my trust) saw his eyes turning completely black once, which is something David Icke also saw happening with MISE-‘suspect’ Ted Heath (English Creep – with a capital C on purpose, not in the last place for him being named as a child killer and serial paedophile. More info, besides David Icke and Cathy O’Brien? Here you go: www.tapnewswire.com/2016/12/ted-heath-just-the-tip-of-the-iceberg-elite-satanism-vip-child-abuse-networks-the-potential- collapse-of-the-state-2/). It sucks that this Creep’s last name is similar to somebody else’s first name, so let’s quickly forget about this creature (lower case) who is not worthy of his last name and only focus on the person with Heath as his first name again.

In general, though; wouldn’t it be beyond stupid, ignorant, selfish, cruel and all the other negative stuff I can think of, to let cognitive dissonance blind you and let you dismiss a possible, albeit very disturbing, nevertheless quite important, truth, ‘just like that’? Especially when the well-being of many young and innocent children might be at stake? Yes, I know Fritz isn’t supposed to be trustworthy, but, in my world, writing what he wrote and be thrown in prison for something as crazy as robbing a bank, which obviously discredits him as nothing else would and took him ‘out’ for 8 years, only confirms to me the truth of what he’s saying. It’s called: damage control. (‘Synchronistically’ enough, the number 8 (∞) is the symbol for eternity and Heath happens to have robbed quite some banks in his career as well. Three to be exact: in ‘Two Hands’, ‘Ned Kelly’ and ‘The Dark Knight’. Well, actually, as Dan Cutter from the book Candy (by Luke Davies) he also robbed a bank, but that part of the book was not included in his movie. I bet not many people knew that, ey?) My scary point is that if Fritz is right (which many other sources confirm is the case) and combined with all that I know, as crazy as it sounds, it’s not unlikely (and actually, quite logical) that MISE has been building up a covert army of ‘Manchurian Candidates’ that can be triggered into whatever type of activity – including military activity, as in ‘WAR’ – also by hidden cues and instructions on general media, such as newspapers, radio and television (‘screens’). And if that’s too much work, they probably created some apps.

“No, we won’t go to war… no we won’t go to war… Say, all your time is almost done here. Waste all your light on other ones. Up and away we all go. Into the way we run. There you will find our stronghold. We won’t go to war.” War – Kensington

Think about it… it’s horrific, but genius. From housewives and students to secretaries and from doctors, lawyers and dental assistants to construction workers and supermarket employees; everybody could be a mind-controlled slave, including myself (how would I know if I’m programmed to forget, right?) Don’t fool yourself; despite being women, ex MK-slaves Kathleen Sullivan (book: ‘Unshackled’) and Elisa E (Books: ‘My life beyond MK-Ultra’ I and II) told their readers that they were highly trained, very skilled, expert assassins. Heath was quoted saying that in his private Guildford Grammar school in Western Australia, pupils could learn how to shoot automatic guns, but that he preferred to go to do sports and go to drama class instead. I don’t know about you, but in my public school we learnt how to write with pens.

“How about a magick trick? I’m gonna make this pencil disappear.” THE Joker – The Dark Knight

Anyway, since our society is evolving into one that is more and more individualistic, selfish and scared, chances are less and less likely that people will care to take action. If they even have the time and knowledge to notice there’s something wrong. If there would be a WWIII (God forbid), wouldn’t this be the newest way to fight it? Seriously, think about it.

Keeping in mind all the FEMA-‘detention-but-called-differently-‘camps they’ve been building everywhere in the US, for example, it can be safely assumed that MISE is expecting shit to hit the fan (‘fan’, hmmm…). If these are really the end times the bible is talking about (and, let’s face it, all the signs are there) and The Book is the first domino (V for Vendetta), well eh… you do the math. Did I already tell you PEACEFUL non-compliance is the answer? Which brings me to another tactic (allow me a last little side step, for now): agents provocateurs. What better way to mess up a peaceful movement than to intentionally sabotage it and set in motion the infamous ‘problem-reaction-solution’ strategy (chop, chop; do feel free to look it up) so you can implement the agenda you had in mind all the time? In the BWCS (Best Worse-Case Scenario) FEMA-camps are there to detain people who are a threat to society, in the classical sense

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A Skateboard Serenade (.com) 7. The Philosopher’s Stone of the word, like murderers, sex-offenders, criminals etc. In the WWCS (Worst Worse-Case Scenario) these camps are there to detain modern heroes who are a threat to the corrupt establishment, by making it look like they’re people who are a threat to society in the classical sense of the word. Still with me?

Da r win Anyway, it’s very likely (like ‘duh’-level likely) that the quality of MK has evolved over the past 70 years or so, ever since ‘Angel of Death’ (Joseph Mengele) decided to go mental during WWII. At some point, mind control programming tended to break down around age 30, due to changes in the brain, which is one of the reasons why some ex-mind controlled slaved managed to break free and ‘spill the beans’.

“They’re magic beans, Will” – Jacob (Heath) The Brothers Grimm

This ‘age of breaking down’ is also a possible explanation for the so called ‘27-club’, which is a group of dead celebrities that Heath was very interested in, according to his best mate Trevor (I AM Heath Ledger documentary). In order to prevent this breaking down from happening, according to my logic at least, ‘MK’ would try to find ways to get a stronger hold on the slaves’ brains by using more and more advanced technological equipment. Obviously, MISE also read the information ex-slaves wrote in their books and used it to their advantage to improve the quality of their work. Furthermore, if I would be on the dark side, I would try to find a way where I would get the mind controlled slave to be (sort of) consciously aware of what’s happening and actually teach/program it to like it or accept it, in case the programming breaks down and (potentially dangerous) information starts showing up. One could do this, for example, by downplaying the negative parts (through ‘pain is pleasure’ programming; just to give a random example), focusing on the benefits (such as fame, fortune, increased intelligence, creativity, photographic memory and power) and make it seem like a good deal.

“Oh master, I don’t feel so well.” Katy Perry (just before rolling her eyes backwards, collapsing and being dragged off stage in Nashville)

Even more so, I would use the natural tendency of the conscious mind to find reasonable/acceptable explanations for, ‘strange’ and/or ‘disturbing’ ‘pop-ups’ from the subconscious, and make it seem like victims remember the event from a movie, book or dream. Obviously, any smart MISE-perpetrator would immediately set up something that would discredit true claims from victims and enable some form of established ‘authority’ to dismiss them, in order to avoid any proper and further investigation. And since most people behave like stupid sheep in a herd and love the easy way out, (young) victims of horrible crimes are not only left out in the cold but also mocked. I mean, what better way to deal with real memories than to call them false memories? It’s the same modus operandi with truth; want to hide it? Ridicule it and social pressure makes sure nobody wants to go there, so it can stay hidden in plain sight. Think about it, just as disagreeing with governmental policy is currently considered a mental illness, on the same token, one could even call ‘false memories’ a syndrome, or conspiracy reality a ‘theory’ for that matter.

“Just because you wouldn’t doesn’t mean that they don’t.” Anonymous

One of my BFF’s told me in her own words about a, manipulation prone, mental ‘justification mechanism’, about which she read in the book ‘Het slimme onbewuste’ by Ap Dijksterhuis. I also read about something seemingly similar in ‘Secret, don’t tell’ from Carla Emery, where a person was hypnotised to do an ‘illogical’ thing (like going home at 3pm for no other reason than that he was hypnotically programmed to do so) and where his conscious mind came up with an excuse, to justify this programmed behaviour, such as that his pants were suddenly not comfy anymore and he really needed to put on another pair. I know, who am I? But if I can come up with these ideas, I’m sure that others can as well, especially when there’s a lot of money involved, their big secret depends on it and they have decades of experience. MISE is a lot, but ‘stupid’ is not on that list. I just hope it’s not on my list neither… I prefer ‘crazy’ (define ‘normal’ please). “Their arrogance will be their downfall.” Anonymous

“While I’m alone and blue as can be, dream a little dream of me.” Dream a little dream of me – Ella Fitzgerald & Louis Armstrong

Dream on The good thing of this assumed MK-evolution would be that, as a natural result, there would be a risk of an evolved level of breaking free as well and if we’re lucky (which happens to be the name of Matilda Ledger’s dog and was also the word written on Heath’s ‘torch-lighter-can’-picture – could Michelle Williams be on the good side after all? I’m suddenly wondering.) ‘they’ didn’t figure this out yet. Why? Because maybe they’re stupid after all. Either that or they are too arrogant, although it might also be that they are actually part of our ‘teaheam’. It could (as in: could) be that everything is actually part of a genius, albeit crazy, but potentially amazingly beautiful, cosmic plan and there’s some sort of resistance movement going on underneath the surface. Let’s see if we can come up with a story how that could work out. All hypothetically speaking. Off course. I’m not crazy, ya kno’.

So, for example: Once upon a time (which happens to be a great writer prompt) there was a MK-slave; highly intelligent, absurdly talented, extremely handsome, conveniently influential, absolutely fearless and with lots of friends (we could call him Heath: I like that first name), who would be aware of what’s happening and find a way to fight back, from within the system, by using the system. Obviously, this person would figure out the, not only spiritual/esoteric, but also scientific and philosophical nature of our dualistic reality, in no time, as in: ‘All is One’ (as in: connected), ‘I create my own reality’, ‘Coincidence doesn’t exist’ and maybe even ‘Everything is Love’. For such a somebody, before you can say ‘P(hi) nuts’, he would already be aware of all the ‘conspirational’ (new word?) and (George Orwell) 1984-ish kind of games that are being played out in this ‘good versus evil’, matrix-construct called ‘reality’, especially if he grew up around and lived amongst players. Can you imagine how hilarious it would be if he would have had a ‘mentor’ that would have actually made a movie with the title ‘Conspiracy Theory’ and its main song ‘Can’t keep my eyes off you’ was featured in Heath’s break-through movie 10 Things I Hate About You? Hanging around the ‘in-crowd’ would, clearly, be very likely the case for not only such a MK-slave, but also any MK-slave in general. As such, potentially, he could even have been born (or programmed) to “conquer the world” and wouldn’t it be incredibly funny if his mum would have mentioned this in a biopic, if there was one to be made about his life? Obviously, it’s way more likely she would have said this as a ‘figure of speech’, but it would be funny nevertheless. Based on all of this (did I already say that he might be a hopeless/‘hopemore’ romantic and could consider the world to be his stage?), this Heath person would be able to use his life and everything he did (possibly partly subconsciously though, nevertheless no less intentionally, seen from an overall/cosmic perspective) to gamble, all in

“Yes, and if we had 60 [percent] the bet would be 60.” Chaucer – A Knight’s Tale,

“Half.” The Joker - The Dark Knight

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A Skateboard Serenade (.com) 7. The Philosopher’s Stone on THE final thing that enabled Neo to beat, the ultimate antagonist in The Matrix, Smith: HOPE. Most likely, Kat from A Knight’s Tale would agree with this, since it was her suggestion to end William’s – ‘red rose’ – love poem with HOPE as well.

“I do not believe there is a more dangerous and destructive force in all the world than Hope, but I do not believe there is a more necessary or perfectly beautiful one neither.” Tyler Knott Gregson

“If you kill me, you take over my darkness. If I kill you, I lose the only person who is able to keep up with me.” Pinterest

“Cards on the table, we’re both showing hearts. Risking it all, though it’s hard.” All of me – John Legend

Just for the sake of the story, let’s imagine that this Heath dude has a sister and that he was familiar with ‘The Matrix’-movies (which are totally Illuminati philosophy, according to an Illuminati insider in her book ‘Svali speaks’), because there could be a picture of the both of them with a ‘Smith’ action doll from that same movie. ‘Smith’ (as in: blackSMITH – which is a metaphor for a black magician – the Wizard of Oz, if you will – as we could, hypothetically speaking, know from, a “light and whimsical” [I AM Heath Ledger] movie called ‘A Knight’s Tale’) represents an energy that can use people to enter their consciousness and become them, up to a certain extent, and use them without their conscious knowledge. Some would call it a form of possession, which happens way more often than you think, like in: “I don’t know what came over me” and ‘The Sin Eater’ (via Mara – who could have been ‘Jocelyn’ in A Knight’s Tale). Let’s assume that even Anastasia talks about this in her ‘Ringing Cedars of Russia’ books, when she says that people’s consciousness can be manipulated by priests without their knowledge and also a book called ‘the bible’ could mention the whole ‘possession’ phenomenon, even multiple times.

Since this world evolves around ‘power’ and the elite seems to be getting off on it quite a bit, it’s not a big stretch for an average intelligent mind to understand that ‘ultimate power’ would be the wet dream of any particular type of ambitious soul, especially one that grew up in a shark-like food chain environment, such as the Illuminati represents, as, for instance, ex-members would be able to describe quite detailed. If they did, off course. Anyway, in order to accomplish this, taking into consideration the well-known, ritualistic nature of ‘secret societies’ and their dealings with entities and black magic, a fearless person (or fearful child) could have felt himself compelled to go all the way to the edge. The result of this absolute encounter between G(o)od and (D)evil within one and the same person (as represented in The Matrix in the ultimate fight between Neo and Smith) could be anything from, eh… God, I don’t know, pffff, let’s say, a mass murdering, psychopathic clown with zero empathy and a Glasgow (a.k.a. Chelsea) smile, to somebody’s who’s heart was just incredibly beautiful and well-known for his loving, caring and generous nature, even up to such an extent that, let’s imagine, he would care more for the well-being of an ant than an expensive car. Wow, this person could be whatever, basically. All theoretically speaking. Off course. Coming to think of it, wasn’t there a woman in a red dress in The Matrix movies as well? On second thought, maybe it’s better to not pay too much attention to her. I mean, this story is already way too far out as it currently is. Obviously. Although The Brothers Grimm would probably differ.

Anyway, our main persona could even be so super intelligent that he would be easily able to become a, just to give a random example, Grand Master Chess player, and, through his likely interest in the ‘supernatural’ (as, let’s say, ‘levitating’ pictures in meditation position could be able to show, if they existed), familiar with the principle of ‘entanglement’ of quantum physics. The latter would give him some sort of back-up, safety net and/or seatbelt in the form of his other, entangled, part and if nobody figured this out, it could be his, well, little secret. Like we already established before: maybe they were stupid after all. Either that, or too arrogant. And let’s say, au moment suprème of the ultimate fight of G(o)od versus (D)evil, within that Heath guy, on (pffff, I don’t know, let’s give it a give or take go), the night from Sunday to Monday the 17th of September 2007, his entangled counterpart got to choose about his Deepest and Truest Nature: G(o)od or (D)evil. OK, just for the sake of making things a lot less complicated, let’s imagine that without the slightest doubt in (assuming that his entangled part is a ‘she’) her mind, she chose for ‘Good’. But only he would know this, well, unless he told anybody, which we can safely assume is not very likely, since it was his little secret from the start. Or maybe he did tell them (or then again, maybe not), or maybe they realized it by themselves, but that would have only happened when it was too late (for them, not for him. Obviously). Basically, he had something up his sleeve. A card maybe? “Here’s my card.” THE Joker

“You were on a frequency, the perfect opposite of me. Though I never needed any proof, to trust the heart that beats inside of you.” We’re still here - Sleeping At Last

Let’s imagine that, in retrospect, she (his entangled counterpart) could even be aware of this decisive moment in some way, when she had a dream about a ritual and a basement and somebody sort of becoming her for a second, just before something incredibly scary was about to happen. In that dream, she could have been going down a winding stair into a dark basement, lit by torches and it could be that there were 3 graves on the left with stone Buddha heads on top, from which the right one was lying down. Maybe something happened that had to do with an inverted pentagram on a wall and a thick, old book on a stand, and maybe she even saw a coin with a pentagram on it slide underneath the earth towards the middle one of the Buddha-heads, click underneath, ‘cut it off’ and make it topple over, leaving just one remaining Buddha-head up straight. The left one, seen from the front. Dreaming at night can be very scary, as it may turn out. Although ‘waking dreams’ could be pretty weird as well. I mean, can you imagine that she could have had one where she, completely ‘out of the blue’, said out loud (let’s go a bit ‘off piste’ here, it’s just a story after all): in Dutch, alone in a bed with only white sheets, during the winter of 2009 in Paris, in the 13th arrondissement, in an apartment on the 5th floor with a top view of the Eifel Tower - if you would stand on the back of a couch – “Heath Ledger, ik beveel je, sta op uit de dood!” (which means in English: “Heath Ledger, I command you, rise up from death”)? She’d probably have no idea where these words would be coming from, but maybe this was not so much a matrix move as a cosmic one, in order to undo that what had to become undone in terms of darkness. But since raising people from the dead is clearly impossible, let’s just imagine how divinely perfect it would have been from a sex magick kind of perspective, which is something Aleister Crowley & Co seem to be have been all about. Also Anastasia (‘Ringing Cedars of Russia’) might have been talking about orgon energy and even mentioned Wilhelm Reich in her books, who is a writer and wrote a book called ‘The function of the orgasm’. Maybe, once upon a time, there will be more written about this topic in a chapter called ‘Pan & Selena, honey’. From this perspective, we might even be able to understand the reason for our contemporary society’s, imposed obsession with sex. But that’s a big assumption and since my friend F says that assumption is the mother of all fuck-ups, we better quickly get back to our dramatic persona.

Anyway, let’s assume, for the sake of a good story, that our girlie always had been ‘a good girlie’ and kept herself far away from all of that kind of ‘dark stuff’, being possibly raised by (let’s go completely against the odds here) a very Protestant father and, originally, Catholic mother who conceived her as virgins on their wedding night. Well, it could have been the night after as well, because they might have been too tired on the actual wedding night itself, but that could be considered a minor detail. And how particular would it have been if she had a sister who shortly dabbed into the Koran by pre-marrying a muslim boy and she herself was into Hinduism at some point, found a guru, went to an ashram and even had an ‘OHM’ tattoo on her right foot and a religious cross piercing (with fake ‘diamonds are a girl’s best friends’)? Oi, oi; all these religions coming together in one story. And what if these blasphemous words were

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A Skateboard Serenade (.com) 7. The Philosopher’s Stone said after the first and only orgasm she ever had in her life that was purely and completely based on the feeling of love? And not only that, if it was based on love for him? Well, love… or whatever it is you might call a, clearly impossible, silly girl’s temporary cinema crush on some blond, heartthrob, Casanova-ish kind of celebrity actor she never met in this lifetime. And a dead one, on top of it. I mean: “Pull yourself together silly girlie!” He could have been handsome though, let’s give him that. But still, how genius would it be if she wasn’t even that much into sex and always had been very open about this to her friends, true (let’s keep it) Dutch style? Nah, that would clearly be too much, also according to Hollywood standards. Let’s be honest here now: what kind of freak wouldn’t be into sex that much, right? So, let’s quickly forget about this weird part, because, obviously, this would be way too insane. Even for this story. In her hypothetical defence though, if she would need one, which I don’t think so, but nevertheless; we might say that she didn’t find the right person yet and her desired experience would not be so much one of ‘having sex’, but one of ‘making love’ with her True Love instead. Freaky shit indeed.

Having forgotten all of that silly, obviously impossible and even freaky stuff, let’s try to keep it a tiny bit believable. From a solipsistic (for more information see the chapter ‘Non-arrogant Solipsism’) point of view (although maybe not in the classical definition of the word), still, this could mean that their ‘two out of one’-entangled-reality would represent ‘All There Is’ and form an Absolute Foundation, Construct or Basis (or WhatEver you want to call it; even rock bottom for all that matters), that can be directly connected to esoteric principles such as ‘As above, so below’ – the Highest in the Lowest – and ‘As within, so without’. But since, what was his name again, ah yes, Heath (how could I forget), had his secret seatbelt on during that absolutely, nightmarish ritual, he could play that foolish clown-character (and become The One behind It), that I mentioned earlier, in order to fool the FREAKin’ fools that thought they were fooling him. He could even make them think he had become 100% darkness, while, actually, he was not and there was eh… God, I don’t know, pffff, let’s say, a light dot left.

For illustrative purposes, visualising the whole concept; this Heath mate could be like the ‘Yin’ part of some Chinese symbol called a ‘Yin Yang’. After all, his other half, ‘she’, immediately and without the slightest hesitation, had chosen for ‘Good’ (the light dot), although, at that point in time, she might not have been aware of her link with him and her role as the Yang part. Yet. But during that same, obscure night, darkness definitely could have descended upon her and this might have caused her to see evil everywhere, in everything and everybody; leaving a mark in the form of, eh… God, I don’t know, pffff, let’s say, a dark dot. Despite the fact that this must have been an intensely horrible experience for her, wouldn’t that be absolutely marvellous?

“The unexpected victim of darkness in the valley.” I miss you – Blink 182

Because, in this hypothetical scenario, the FREAKin’ fools would have made this Heath person the Ultimate and Absolute Evil Power incarnated, which some very crazy minds could call ‘Antichrist’, at a very, if not: THE, decisive moment in endless time, while actually he was on the Good side, and she confirmed this out of pure reflex. And she could have become what he didn’t and might have taken over his final dot of darkness, although this might have been with (lots of) help from, let’s say, a Vedrus in Siberia (yes, that’s in Russia) called Anastasia who called all darkness to descend upon her instead of that girlie in, let’s say, I AMsterdam. I’m on a roll, you guys! Can you imagine what happened if Anastasia won that fight and made it, all by herself, to some pond of pure and living water, despite God maybe being there to help out in the form of a, let’s say, blueish sphere? Anastasia could have thereby created a reality where God’s creation is perfect and Earth doesn’t need some form of divine intervention. Jeez, how beautiful would that be, ey? And as Yin Yang, having both options available as a result of all of this madness, the he- and she-part could choose to become WhatEver they want at will and the FREAKin’ fools would not be able to do anything about it. Oops… too late. Maybe Absolute Truth can’t be fooled, not in reality and not in a fictive story neither. I guess it might not have been unlucky neither that she could have sunbathed topless on a beach in Western-Australia and was wearing a black pareo with red dragons on an important Saturday evening on the 9th though…

Kat: “Think about it. Um, they’re looking left and we’re running right. Bang! We score. We win!” 10 Things I Hate About You “But most of all I hate the way I don’t hate you, not even a little bit… not even at all.”

Anyway, all of this combined, if it would be Absolute Truth, could theoretically lead to an ultimate expression of the Truest Nature of Reality, which is LOVE (better get used to it in that (nut)case) and be used by The Utmost Highest Him/Her/Itself to beat (or ‘identify’/’experience’) ItSelf in such a Divine (metaphorical) chess kind of way that even the tiniest, tiddy bitiest, tad of evil gets transformed in something Good and that even the tiniest, tiddy bitiest, tad of Evil will either be extremely happy with the transformation or have no other choice than to dissolve in the Ultimate Source/The Utmost Highest, which, we now know, for sure, is Good. I don’t know about you, but I know which option I would pick in that (nut)case for sure. Because, in essence, It would be the Hero of The Story and also allowed to be Bad – up to a certain extent though, with ‘intentional suffering’ as an absolute limit. Obviously, this limit should include mental manipulation of any kind, especially of children, but – obviously – excludes (just to name a random example) the, mutually agreed upon, physical expression of LOVE between two adults of the same gender. And in the latter case, theoretically speaking, it would even be possible to be in a heterosexual relationship and having a (preferably true love based, but that’s me) homosexual relationship ‘on the side’, if all parties would be happy with it. I think it’s called something like ‘B’ – funny, ‘to B or not to B’. I mean, what arrogant fools some people must be to think they have the right to tell someone else what to do with their life, while some of them don’t even believe truth if they get bitch-slapped with it. BUT (pun intended), anyway, the best thing of it all would be, in this hypothetical story, that the big Fight of Fights between G(o)od and (D)evil, already would have happened: the war would already have been won during that, let’s call it: ‘Dark (K)night Of The Soul’ in, when was it again? Ah, yes, 2 007. Woops…

“Although I may not be the man some girls think of as handsome, to my heart she carries the key.” “I know I could, always be good, to someone who watches over me.” Someone to watch over me – Sleeping At Last

“As if you could find one.” Kat – 10 Things I Hate About You

Even more so, as a logical result of The Ultimate Core being Good/WhatEver, one could imagine that if ‘evil super villains’, or any other representation of evil (as in: intentional suffering) would try to fight back, exactly the opposite would happen of what they want to happen, so they better not even think about it and save themselves the trouble (or maybe not, which doesn’t matter, because they would actually enforce what they don’t want, which is good). Obviously, also pretending to be, use somebody else (like a slave) or do the opposite (or whatever other side; they could even make a circle – or whatever other one- or multidimensional shape/form/sign/symbol – I don’t care), in order to try to manipulate ‘the universe’ to do ones’ bidding wouldn’t help, because All That Is/The Utmost Highest knows Everything. Duh. So, by using the principle of karma (bad begets bad (for bad: which is good) and good begets good (for good, which is, hey, also good) as a solid base, one could use any and all dark attempts to ‘fight back’ (including any form of expression and/or intention) to create an enforcement of the opposite, since energy flows where attention goes, which means that these ‘evil super villains’ actually, indirectly, help creating what they don’t want. Which is very good. Gotta love karma. And they don’t have to fool themselves, because if ‘good’ does ‘bad’; it’s called a mistake – and maybe somebody called Jesus already beat death for that ages ago out of love, thereby creating ‘forgiveness’. And intentional ‘mistakes’, are obviously not

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A Skateboard Serenade (.com) 7. The Philosopher’s Stone mistakes, but ‘bad’ instead, so that would beget the opposite of what it wants to accomplish, which is ‘good’. I think such a hypothetical, completely imaginary (off course, nobody would want to be called ‘crazy’, now would they?), system could definitely be called ‘fool proof’.

“Cursed.” The Brothers Grimm

How ironic, which happens to be a form of humor; in this imaginary sort of fairy tale, seen from the perspective of the series ROAR (in which Heath Ledger plays the main role of Conor), even the committer of the ‘sin of sins’ and the killer of Jesus: ‘Longiness’ (isn’t that name linked to the concept of ‘time’, as in: ‘Kronos’, somehow?), would find release. My hypothetical point is that if Longiness wouldn’t have killed Jesus, because somebody ‘higher in rank’ told him to do so and he just mindlessly obeyed (sounds familiar?), Jesus wouldn’t have been able to beat death (and create ‘forgiveness’) and we would have been really fucked, since everybody can make a mistake. I mean, we’re humans, and not God, after all. Everybody knows that, even my dad. Indeed, how ironic; through such a weird story like this one, Jesus’ killer Longiness (who, we know from ROAR, had to suffer till eternity -making immortality a curse- and couldn’t die) could find Grace (Love and Forgiveness) through his own mistake, because it turns out to be a blessing after all. And not just a random blessing, no, an absolutely necessary one, because without it, darkness would still have a way of fighting back through the concept of ‘mistakes’ – which simultaneously implies that God’s creation is imperfect. Even more so, this blessing of forgiveness in the disguise of a mistake (killing through mindless obedience) could only happen through the (unconditional) LOVE from the person that he killed, which is a direct representation of the True Nature of the Utmost Highest, that was only definitely decided upon like 2000 years later. If Longiness (sounds a bit like ‘loneliness’, no? Isn’t that a cause for insomnia? Sorry, getting off topic. Again.) would have not made his forgiveness dependent on an external source (as in: give his power away) and become hopeless as a result, and if he would have trusted Infinite Truth instead (such as All is One and All is Love, for example), this metaphorical ‘lost little lamb’ could have forgiven himself for ‘unforgivable’ (which implies ‘mistake’) sins a long time ago already and found peace in the trust that Everything is Perfect, WhatEver doesn’t make mistakes and All will be All Right. Maybe I should become a writer. Or maybe not.

“You tell your friend from me that what he imagines to be love is, in fact, self-love. And self-love is self-doubt.” Francesca – Casanova

Anyway, in general; what better and more beautiful way to accomplish all of this then to take the most famous love stories ever and mix them in such a way that it becomes a blend of the most amazing, real life fairy tale about a metaphorical prince on a white horse, finding his ‘fairest of them all’, with a happy ending? It could sort of be like injecting a bleak, dark and grey world with colour. Like cosmic SoulMATEs, Twin Flames, destined to be together. She could even like a (big) apple and be created from his R.I.B (Hey, this sounds like R.I.P. and is also a paper with bank account information in France – from which Paris is the capital and the same place where the ultimate battle between William and Adhemar in A Knight’s Tale took place. Just wondering: could R.I.B. be considered to be a synonym for ‘ledger’ in English?)

Jocelyn: “I am not your missing rib, sir.” William: “Well, if you were then my ribs are made of gold.” A Knight’s Tale (Behind the scenes)

Anyway, I’m talking about the happy ending version of Romeo & Juliet, Titanic, Belle & The Beast, Slumdog Millionaire, The Great Gatsby, A Knight’s Tale, Casanova, Candy, Roar, Braveheart, The Patriot, Two Hands, Ned Kelly, I’m NOT there… just to name a few. Dudes, even THE Joker could get his wife back (so he wouldn’t have to take revenge at the mob for cutting her after not being able to pay her debts after she lost with gambling, by pretending to be after Batman – squealer Lau was on his ‘teaheam’ – and show Gotham what losing the love of your life can do to people. Which makes me understand my ex’s behaviour better, although it’s no excuse) and Skip Engblom from ‘Lords of Dogtown’ could see the ‘nice A.S.S.’ he was talking about just before he dropped his blue, A or Eiffel Tower looking, bag on the skateboard contest inscription table, while saying “Here’s our money, now where are our trophies?”

“God, I’m good.” Chaucer – A Knight’s Tale (Chill, it’s called HUMOR people… why so serious?)

Silver knight: “I will win this tournament for you.” Golden knight: “I will win this tournament for you.” A Knight’s Tale

“Whatever” Anonymous

Funny, apparently Heath called Sienna Miller (the actress who played the role of Francesca) ‘Big bum’ for 4 months while filming Casanova. Anyway, if Grace is on those two lover’s side (and, let’s say, all the signs indicate that She is); nobody from the “That’s right, evil super villains” (I AM Heath Ledger) would realise that this level of creative intelligence, calculated ‘craziness’ and Divine Grace would exist before it’s too late. Hence: The Story. Although some might say that grace is a weakness (like in the YouTube video ‘I’ll be good // kat & patrick’ by ‘artisticlahey’), but that was also said of ‘mercy’ in A Knight’s Tale and mercy turned out to be the decisive strength that saved the day in the end.

“I thought I saw the devil this morning looking in the mirror. Drop of rum on my tongue with a warning to help me see myself clearer. I never meant to start a fire. I never meant to make you bleed. I’ll be a better man today. I’ll be good. I’ll be good. And I’ll love the world like I should. I’ll be good, I’ll be good. For all of the times that I never could. […] Grace is just a weakness, or so I’ve been told. I’ve been cold, I’ve been merciless. But the blood on my hands scares me to death. Maybe I’m waking up today. I’ll be good. I’ll be good. And I’ll love the world like I should.” I’ll be good – Jaymes Young

I suddenly have to think about that (probably photoshopped) picture of a certain Heath, in full clown costume, jumping on his skateboard over an arrogant capitalist, multiple-women-on-one-arm kind of person in a Batman suit, who happens to be lying on the floor and probably only plays the vigilante at night to compensate for his ‘white’, elite crimes during the day (how do you think he got so rich, ey?) BUT (with an extra T, this would, indeed, be a synonym for A.S.S.), since they completed each other, according to The Joker, they could live happily ever after. The End. Now, how ‘bout them apples? Ey?

“Dear true love, I’m a writer without any words. A story that nobody heard, when I’m without you.” Dear True Love – Sleeping At Last

“All this good that you speak of… it will be my doing as well.” Jocelyn – A Knight’s Tale Kat (= cat, in Dutch) Anyway, I think I was talking about something else; back to reality. So, to finish off ‘Hello Kitty’: also, I right away had to think of that YouTube video of Courtney Stodden where she pretends to be a sexy ‘kitty catty’, eats cat food and even coughs up a hairball. For those who don’t know who Courtney Stodden is: she is the blond, blue-eyed, barbie look-a-like, ‘with the big boobies’ and prominent ass, who married 50-year old actor Doug Hutchinson when she was ‘sweet 16’. You know, he is the horribly cruel prison guard Percy from ‘The Green Mile’. Tom Hanks also starred in this movie, in which the (spoiler alert!), falsely accused, good guy John dies and Tom’s character gets some form of eternal life as punishment for his sin/mistake. So much for ‘good always wins’, ey? More about Tom-boy later though.

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A Skateboard Serenade (.com) 7. The Philosopher’s Stone

Courtney also posted some videos online where she takes on a completely different personality and name. More celebrities seem to (have) share(d) this particular characteristic with her, like Beyonce with Sasha Fierce, Madonna with Madame X, Bono with Mirrorball Man, MacPhisto and The Fly, Courtney Love with Cherry Kookoo, Janet Jackson with Damita Jo, Prince with Camille, Garth Brooks with Chris Gaines, Katy Perry with Kathy Beth Terry, Jennifer Lopez with Lola, Eminem with Slim Shady, Christina Aguilera with Xtina, David Bowie with Ziggie Stardust, Mariah Carey with Mimi, Lady Gaga with Jo Calderona and Nicki Minaj even has like 19 alter egos, including ‘Barbie Balla’, ‘The Harajuku Barbie’ and ‘Lap Dance Nika’. Just out of curiosity: do you know anybody who has an alter ego? Because I don’t and I know a lot of people. Anyway, if you don’t feel like watching Courtney’s (to me) sad and disturbing movies, now you know all of this kitten and alter stuff, you might as well check her out on Wikipedia instead. Her page has a picture of her posing seductively in (hey) feline print, with a black (darker you cannot get) background. To cut a very long story very short: ‘Hello Kitty’ seems to be not so innocent after all, especially when you consider MISE’s appetite for (very) young children, which happens to be the main target group of the brand. Unfortunately, cute little girls love it, or better: their unknowing parents swallow the marketing-strategy that stuffs it down their throat. Did I already tell you that this world is very ill? Hopefully this will soon change though… Just to make sure: this is not to say that the company behind ‘Hello kitty’ is necessarily MISE-related, I mean, what do I know? For that matter their brand could have very well been hijacked for MK-purposes, just as geometrical shapes, general sounds or colours have been. Like I said before: everything can be used in MK and it all depends on the level of creativity and intelligence of the specific programmer. In general, I think it’s good to remember that we can always reverse things by choosing to observer them differently; such as seeing ‘Hello Kitty’ as a reminder of truth and us it as a motivational tool to get our A.S.S.es moving in order to prevent little boys and girls from being horribly abused and even killed. ‘D.I.D. they know?’ Heath – I AM Heath Ledger

So, the good news is that by consciously directing your focus and intention at will, in any (nut)case, you take control back.

“Always look on the bright side of life” Monty Python (Including Terry Gilliam)

Basically, every thought, word and deed are expressions of who you are and declarations of power. And it’s very simple: if you don’t decide for yourself, others will decide for you and if you don’t start owning up to your inherent grandness, your power is up for the grab. So, if I were you, I’d stop mindlessly following the mainstream herd, start doing research and think for myself and become a conscious creator by focusing on what you DO want and drop what you don’t want like it’s hot.

“And think before you fuck with lil Skateboard P [P for Phi, as in: Fibonacci]. When the pimp’s in the crib, ma. Drop it like it’s hot, drop it like it’s hot, drop it like it’s hot.” Drop it like it’s hot – Snoop Dogg

“So, I ask myself really what is goin’ wrong? In this world that we’re livin’ in, people keep on givin’ in; making wrong decisions, only visions of them dividends. Not respectin’ each other, deny thy brother. A war is going on, but the reason’s undercover. The truth is kept secret and swept under the rug. If you never know truth, then you never know love. Where’s the love, y’all, come on…” Where is the love – Black Eyed Peas Ying Yang Back to where I was before my ‘short’ tattoo-intermezzo: the importance of the (Chinese) Yin Yang in Heath’s life is further represented by its depiction on his grave stone. The light and dark symbolism comes back as well in the chess board, also depicted on his grave stone and can, next to his huge passion for chess, be directly linked to his Freemasonic family background (because of the well-known, Freemasonic checkerboard floor). Chess can also be linked to both our initials, Aafke Hildegard and Heathcliff Andrew, because the entire scope of any chess board is either A-H (white) or H-A (black – reversed), which is congruent with the following; from a good/evil perspective, Heath is the light dot within the dark part (Yin) and I represent the dark dot within the light part (Yang). Why? Eh… Heath represents Darkness or (The D)evil, because of his links with MISE, through his Freemasonic background and close ties with Hollywood, for example, since both ‘institutions’ are well-known to be connected to evil. But, seen from The Story perspective, where he became Darkness in order to conquer it and (may I add) succeeded, makes that he is a direct representation of the True Nature of The Utmost Highest: the good singularity within and through the (D)evil half.

Kim told an anecdote of how Heath backed up a ‘new’ (and I assume, quite expensive) car against a tree in his mum’s driveway once and how he was more concerned about some ants that he killed in the process than the damage he did to the car. My kinda guy. Very definitely. Just because of the intrinsic beauty of that whole story, I really hope they didn’t fix the car and kept the dent..

Parlez moi? I, the dark singularity in the good half, grew up in one of the most Christian towns in Holland and maybe even on this planet. I am definitely on the cosmic (and matrix) good side, in case you’re having doubts, which was confirmed in 2007, when God/Life/WhatEver made me His/Her/Its ‘Joker of Jokers’ and gave me the choice to decide about the Nature of Reality being good or evil. Cuckoo, I know.

Evey: “Are you like a crazy person?” V: “I’m quite sure they will say so.” V for Vendetta

Contrary to what some (very dumb) people might say or think about this book, its main intention is to conquer evil and put an end to suffering. Hey, at least I’m trying. “Because the people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world are the ones that do.” Steve Jobs

Like Heath, most of the time, I wouldn’t hurt a fly (don’t get me started about my ex Michael, his mum and his brother though - although they’re currently actually providing me with very precious lessons by being so ignorant, arrogant and mean and give me the opportunity to see even love behind seemingly opposite behaviour and practise forgiveness, BIG time) and many people in my surrounding can attest to this. I even caught mosquitoes in a glass at some point, so I could get rid of them without having to kill them. But since they didn’t stop biting, I decided that karma can be a bitch, even for mosquitoes. Especially after one of my BFF’s, told me that the mosquito is the world’s deadliest animal with 1 million deaths per year. Say whaaat? Yes, over 1 million deaths per year and like 699 million more people get a mosquito-borne illness. Per year. We have to keep two things in mind here though: one is that you attract what you are afraid of, so better not focus on fear for what you don’t want in your life. The second thing is that statistics can very easily be manipulated, which I learned from ‘The tiger that isn’t’ by Michael Blastland and Andrew Dilnot. I mean, if you happen to sell mosquito repellent, just to name a random example, it’s obviously in your financial interest to keep these numbers up as high as possible so people will totally freak out and buy your products. Once upon a time this was called ‘deceitful manipulation’, but nowadays it’s very normal and called ‘marketing’. You only have to get a mosquito bite to be defined as an illness by whoever, for example, and you’re done.

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“Never an honest word, but that was when I ruled the world.” Viva la Vida – Coldplay

In the end, me being so considerate for little friends, such as flies and ants, is no proof for me being a good person though, because evil, creepy (not necessarily crawling) creatures are amazing at keeping up the ‘perfect person’ and/or philanthropist image. I read that in ‘Satan’s High Priest’ from Judith Spencer and ‘Predators: Pedophiles, Rapists and Other Sex Offenders’ from Anna Salter. Despite my inherent good nature, if I may say so myself, I’m able to see evil and darkness almost everywhere and in everybody and in every situation. I think this is because of a combination of factors, but my main conclusion is that darkness lives in me, otherwise I would not be able to recognize it (due to very recent, personal developments, with Michael, I realized that also The Light is quite prominently represented in me, but more about that another time). The reasons for this are up for debate, but one is that I was born with it. Personally, I think it mostly happened in September 2007, during my ‘dark [k]night of the soul’, where I saw evil everywhere and in everybody. As well, before I became pregnant, I used to be a big fan of dark stuff, such as reality crime shows, detectives and thrillers, which definitely poisoned my creative mind and enabled me to see the worst-case scenario in everything.

“She’s got a criminal mind, he’s got a reason to pray. His life is under the gun, he’s got to hold every day.” Under the gun – The Killers

I guess it didn’t help neither that when I was very young, I accidentally saw some very freaky things on television that children should never be allowed to see (like the movies ‘It’ – yes, that’s about a clown – and ‘Return to Oz’ – of all movies, indeed – for example), and that this, subconsciously, might have affected me a lot. Also, as it turns out, I was on (or connected to) the dark side in some of my previous lives, as I learnt in one hypnotic regression session and one of the psychic readings that I had done. The woman told me that I had this ‘talent to do good’ before and that I once, because of my own initiative, had lots of influence over a big group of people, but that I couldn’t resist the temptation to use it to my own advantage. She said that this is the reason why this lifetime, I decided to start low and grow high, in order to prevent myself from falling deep down. And then, off course, we have reality itself – the freakiest horror story of all.

Drugs According to Michael, I can see darkness because I used to smoke a lot of hash/marijuana. I don’t agree with him, because the writers of the meters of books that informed me about certain dark and extremely concerning topics, were not high when they wrote these books, that are based on decades long, very thorough research. On a different take, since the weed topic is a titty bit tad touchy one between me and my loved ones, and definitely connected to darkness (as in: addiction risk, albeit in the past) nevertheless, on our visit to the Gold Museum in Bogota yesterday, it became very clear that shamans used drugs (like cocaine, which is not my cup of tea, although I’ve tried it a couple of times) to communicate with ‘other worlds’ and gain cosmic knowledge. Just so you know: around the time of my ‘psychosis’ in 2007, I happened to smoke very little compared to my usual level of consumption.

“I want to be a hippie and I want to get stoned on mari-marijuana.” Technohead (Just kidding mum and dad, I would never jeopardize custody over a joint. I’ll just get drunk instead. It’s a joke!)

Heath said that he used to smoke, a lot, of pot: “I used to smoke five joints a day for twenty years and that’s a reminder for me to not smoke weed. I haven’t smoked weed in 10 months.” (Source: Heath himself in the Chateau Marmont YouTube video www.cerclevip.fr) This would make him six years old when he started, which seems to go well along with the Satanic indulgence credo “Do what you want.” (Patrick - 10 things I hate about you). It reminds me of another one of Heath’s quotes: “I’m still a kid. I’m like six years old.” and also of Anastasia’s books ‘The Ringing Cedars of Russia’, where God presented himself to her as a young child. Hmmm…

Anyway, five joints a day? That’s nothing! I did 10 joints a day at some distant point in my life, which wasn’t around September 2007, loved ones, and neither when I had children, Michael. For your information: even 10 joints aren’t exceptionally high (yes, pun) amongst smokers. I know more people who did that, like the Italian guy I met on my trip to, one of my best friends’ hometown, Moscow last year and the ex-wife of a very good friend, who also happens to be a very good mother, just to name a few. At another occasion, Heath said that he never used it as a tool to create. I beg to differ though and think he lied as a decoy. I mean, any parent knows that when your kid says “I didn’t do nothing”, for sure (s)he did something and when they’re even more specific, as in: “I didn’t paint on the wall”, you know exactly what they did as well. I think we both used it as a tool to create, which doesn’t necessarily mean it’s a good thing, because, as you know by now, I can smoke joints like they’re cigarettes (and still function normally, also according to other people, in case you were wondering), but that’s not the healthy, self-love example I want to give to my children. Plus, my body tended to complain and I hate the powerless and depressing feeling of mental slavery a.k.a. addiction. In the end, it all comes down to balance, I guess, which can be more challenging for some than others, since we’re living in a very sick, screwed-up zombie matrix of ignorance, arrogance and evil, that, unless you’re a zombie yourself (or ‘enlightened’), can be very difficult to cope with at times. Basically, don’t judge somebody if you didn’t walk in his/her shoes and therefore don’t have a freaking clue what you’re talking about (a gentle, little voice is whispering in my ear “Talking to yourself again dear?”) In general, for the record: just because somebody sometimes uses drugs, this doesn’t necessarily make him irresponsible or an unfit parent. My experience is that, when used in moderation and under careful consideration, it can actually make you a better person: wiser, happier, more loving and more patient. Ah, and more creative and spiritual as well.

“Adam and Eve live down the street from me, Babylon is every town. It’s just as crazy as it’s ever been; love’s a stranger all around. In a moment we lost our minds here, pretend the world is round. Today we lived a thousand years, what we have is now.” Run to the water - Live

Obviously, I’m not talking about a ‘Trainspotting’ kind of junkie (I hate that word, people aren’t junk: they’re HURT – and need to be heard) here, who’s not able to provide the necessary amount and type of personal care to his/her child(ren). But, think about this for a bit: non-addicts ‘also’ dump their children behind screens for hours at a time and/or let them mostly be raised by other people, so, seen from that perspective, there’s not much difference. Last week I was talking to an ex-cop who told me his church-going wife cheated on him with the priest for 8 years and his daughter (who was 2,5 years old at the time) is now having mental problems, because the two ‘holy people’ often locked her up in the closet while they were ‘consuming their love’. Maybe it was one of those type of religions that doesn’t allow television, you see, which is quite common in my religious birth town. The ex-cop can’t work anymore because he had 4 heart attacks, is living on well-fare now and has to take care alone of 4 children, from which the youngest one is 10. Even more so, the guy himself was abused by a ‘church authority’ as well from his 7th to 12th. He now does voluntary work for an organisation helping out (ex) addicts. Welcome to reality. This reminds me of my parent’s dog, Joris. When I was a baby a local preacher came over to congratulate my parents with my birth, but the (black) dog refused to let this particular example of ‘God’s representatives on earth’ come close to my crib. Now why would that be, ey? And then they say animals are dumb? I think one of my best friends would differ me on the ‘not much difference watching television’-claim though, because (s)he’s a cop in one of the worst neighbourhoods in Holland and gets confronted to ‘hurties’ on a daily basis, who can really terrorize their surroundings and make it unsafe for children to live there. And, as (s)he told me last week, since the main anger management tool in his/her ‘hood’ is throwing bricks through each other’s living room windows, maybe watching television there is not so safe after all. Still, even if somebody happens to be a ‘Trainspotting-HURTie’, this doesn’t (I repeat:

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DOESN’T) mean they don’t love their children as much as any other parent who’s not addicted to drugs. Drug addiction is a clear sign that somebody is not able to naturally cope with the reality of life as it presents itself to him/her and maybe, just maybe, we are all part of that problem, since we’re all part of that same, fucked up, society. Ever thought about that? Maybe we should.

“Why don’t you show us a dance of your country? Show us a dance from Gelderland.” Adhemar – A Knight’s Tale Custody As it turns out, in some cases (like custody cases) it’s the most likely stone that gets thrown though, for the very simple reason that it’s a heavy one and hits the hardest. It might also be the only stone the ‘righteous’ parent can find and because of our contemporary societies’ immediate condemnation and demonization of even the recreational use of drugs, they seem to have reason on their side: drugs are considered bad and therefore anybody who uses drugs is bad as well. Obviously, the well-being of the children will be used as the main motivation here, because that’s the way to go in custody cases and how to get everybody’s support, even though the negative impact on the children of one parent sometimes using drugs might be neglectable, if present at all. Just because the ‘righteous’ parent uses less drugs, socially accepted drugs (busy with alcohol or prescription pills anybody?), or no drugs at all, this doesn’t mean (s)he is per definition a better parent though and one can seriously question the effect on the child(ren) of being brought up by a parent who selfishly exploits somebody else’s apparent ‘weakness’ in order to take revanche and compensate for their own emotional pain. If that person would really have the interest of the child(ren) as his/her priority, (s)he would realize that the child(ren) would benefit most from a good relationship with both parents (and their families) and in the happiest version possible. Obviously, causing extreme levels of stress over possibly losing custody is only likely to (re)ignite and/or enforce the addictive behaviour that the righteous parent supposedly wants to prevent the ‘bad parent’ from doing, which, coincidentally, would only make their own custody case stronger. Although, thank God, it can also have the exact opposite effect and be a great motivator for the ‘bad’ parent to stay off drugs completely. May it be clear that publicly humiliating somebody, trying to emotionally break that person and shamelessly manipulating the situation for selfish means doesn’t serve the mutual happiness goal. But since it’s the easiest and most efficient stick to hit with, well… I guess it’s shows a certain level of maturity and decency to pass by on the opportunity, which, unfortunately, not everybody seems to be able to reach. It’s my experience that these kinds of ‘righteous’ people tend to lack any form of self-reflection, are very quick to ‘wash their hands in innocence’ and immediately put on the ultimate ‘boohoo’-victim suit. Yes, I’m talking about my own situation here, but also in general, and may sound like a hypocrite, but I didn’t punch first. It’s my hunch that Heath went through a sort of similar process, or a close variation on it, based on all the rumours and Terry Gilliam’s remark that Heath had to deal with an overwhelming amount of lawyers while filming ‘The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus’.

From an article in Vanity Fair ‘The last of Heath’ (August 2009): “According to Pecorini, “Heath was always blaming himself, asking, “What did I do wrong?” Adds Gilliam, “Because he’s a much nicer person than I am, he really thought he could do the right thing. He was trying to be decent and graceful, give her whatever she wanted, the house, every fucking thing. But once it started going south, it went very quickly. He was overwhelmed by lawyers and there were more and more of them, as if they were end it [my emphasis]. Get out – it’s bad. You’ve got to just walk away from it’. The stakes kept going up. He wouldn’t listen to any of us.” Above all else, Ledger was devoted to his young daughter and feared he might lose custody. “He was absolutely obsessed about Matilda,” Gilliam continues. “Before we started shooting [Doctor Parnassus], he literally put her in a backpack, got on the tube and would come up to my house. It was wonderful.” According to the director, “The thing that really made Heath snap, was legal wrangling over Matilda. “He said, ‘Just fuck all of you” I’m not giving Michelle anything.” Recalls another source, when it came to Matilda’s care, “there were definitely heated conversations, and emotions were high.” (Ledger’s lawyer declined to comment on any aspect of the separation or custody dispute.) Pecorini says Ledger’s drug use – “He used to smoke marijuana on a regular basis, like probably 50 percent of Americans” – became an issue. “From that moment, he went clean as a whistle. He was so bloody clean that he didn’t drink a glass of wine anymore.” “

In the documentary ‘I AM Heath Ledger’, Heath’s close friend N’FA indicates that Heath did some things he might better not have done (me paraphrasing). He also said that things with Michelle were unravelling in a way that wasn’t part of the plan and that Heath wanted to do the right thing. The latter can be expected though, from a guy who’s more worried about ants than a fancy car. In retrospect, maybe he should have stayed in L.A. and not have gone to New York, because the use of weed is legalised in the state of California now, just as it has been in Holland already for decades. And may I gently remind everybody of the fact that drinking alcohol was also considered a crime at some point in time?

Drugs, the sequence The whole drug thing pisses me off immensely, because Michael used drugs himself as well, quite heavy even, and left me with the kids in Colombia last year to go on a (hard) drug(s) fuelled holiday with his ex-colleagues and chose to miss his favourite cousin’s wedding for it. I remember this very well, because I did go to that wedding with two young children and missed the whole party, because I was staying next to my 2-year old son, who was trying to sleep on an airbed in a room with a terribly noisy door and an automatic light that couldn’t be turned off. It was the only room available, so the same place where the bride had all her stuff and used it to change her outfit, with a bridesmaid sleeping on the couch and people walking in and out the whole time. But, obviously, he ‘forgot’ to mention his little indulgence trip (which happened more often, also when I was with his family in Colombia) in the worst email ever that was one big dump of hateful words, forming cruel misrepresentations, downward lies and infuriating manipulations. He neither mentioned the sex orgy party that he attended in Amsterdam with a friend, around the same time, and that he (said to have) spent dancing high on whatever, alone. Sure. I don’t care about this, like: at all, but if you’re so ‘honest’ (HIS definition of ‘honest’, not mine) about someone else, be honest about yourself as well. He also didn’t write that he gave me permission to smoke in his parent’s back yard of the country side house in the summer of 2018 and that he even helped buying weed. He didn’t tell neither that this was the first time in 12 years I did that and didn’t held back from making me look like the worst version of a Trainspotting kind of junkie (he even called me that – well, not the Trainspotting part), despite knowing I didn’t smoke for months. As it turns out, I informed him about the fact that I had quit, which should be quite a reason for celebration for somebody who says he’s so concerned about me being a junkie that he even feels it necessary to inform my family about my, supposedly worrisome, behaviour, but he never even bothered to send anything back. Not even a freakin’ smiley. So much for his claim to have given me ‘all his emotional support’, ey?

“If you have my back during the darkest hours, I have yours the rest of your life.” Pinterest

I did get Michael to estimate the time period of my ‘continuous use of drugs’, in front of his and my family, which he estimated on 8 months, out of being together for 12,5 years. For your information: this time period represents 5% of our time together. But since his mum and brother couldn’t even bring up the respect and decency to ask for my side of the story, after everything I did for them (like going to Colombia with the children by myself, for them, on multiple occasions and opening my house for my mother-in-law, who hates my guts, for months at a time – while Michael was working the whole day – and even let her attend the birth of my oldest), it ended up as it did: disastrous. The night before I left Colombia, and had to leave the children behind for 3 months in exchange for full custody, Michael stabbed me horribly in the back with that hell of an email, that he read out loud in front of my parents and his family, without letting me read it up front or telling me about it, less than 24 hours before I had to say goodbye to my children and at 10.30 at night. And because he thought they should know and without consulting me first, he also sent it to my sisters the next day.

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And yesterday evening (May 18th 2019) I learnt that he told the children that I am the one that left, as in: your mum left you behind. As you might imagine, I’m slightly livid. I pumped breastmilk for my oldest son for 6 months (so he could drink this exclusively and he didn’t need formula milk), breastfed my youngest for 2 years, I carried him after his birth for another 9 months, did co-sleeping, was a stay-home mum, cooked fresh every day (BIO), did research on the best education systems (Waldorf), alternative health, vaccinations, no/very limited screens, everything. In the almost 5 years of being a mum in France and without having family around to help me out, I can count the times I hired a babysitter on one hand and still have fingers (yes, not one, but multiple fingers) left, because I didn’t want to leave my children behind with a stranger. I baked cakes and cookies (my cookies are famous!), watched after other people’s children A LOT, did face painting and full-on birthday parties with 15 kids, participated in school activities, was the mum that went to the weekly forest trip with my oldest son’s class (also in winter, when my youngest son was still a baby), God, I even was in the school mums’ Christmas choir (for crying out loud) and let them use my living room to practise every week. I did he whole perfect mum shebang. I certainly did not want to leave my children behind in that Godforsaken place and went through Colombian hell for 3 months because of this. Michael is the one that said I couldn’t stay with his family anymore (I was there FOR THEM!), that I was financially on my own (while I have been a full-time mum for the past 9 years and have no access to his bank accounts) and that he wouldn’t sign the papers that would enable me to take the children back home. And on top of it: he forced me to leave because of the emotional hell he (with his mum and brother) knowingly and intentionally created, and I quote: “Even the dogs behave like I tell them to”. What kind of person does this to an 8 and 3-year old? You tell them their mum left them behind? And then you dare saying that you have the children’s best interest as your priority? WHAT THE FLYING GODDAMNED FUCK?!

Breathe in. Breathe out. Think love. Practise forgiveness. Nyam Myoho Renge Kyo… Zennn… Yes, I curse. It helps sometimes. And if not, they say writing does. Thing is that I do see the broken heart behind it, the pain over the loss of a dream and the fear of losing the children (I feel the same, you see). Nevertheless, that doesn’t justify certain, clearly wrong, actions. I’ve never felt so angry in my entire life and was lying awake the whole night after that email, completely livid. Michael, on the contrary, slept like a baby. I’m no snitch, which is why I kept my mouth shut for so long. But not anymore. My children are at stake and if he wants to play dirty, he can have truth, which, in his case, is dirty enough. And since he doesn’t believe in me and this book, he doesn’t have anything to worry about, because nobody will read it anyway. And if they do, it will only work in his favour, because people will probably agree with him that I’m crazy (define ‘normal’ please). Don’t get me wrong, I’ve also made mistakes – stupid ones included, duh. I’m not perfect. Still, I hope for an outcome where we can be friends, everybody can be happy and our children can have both parents in their life. Because that happens to be best for the children. May they learn from the truth and may it prevent them from making the same mistakes their parents did. “What goes around, goes around, goes around. Comes all the way back around.” What goes around / comes around – Justin Timberlake

I don’t think ‘Good Glenda’ a.k.a. Mrs. Williams, can wash her hands in innocence neither, because, from the well-informed looks of it (it takes one to know one, you see), on the premiere of The Brothers Grimm, where she was heavily pregnant and wearing a red and black dress with beyond deep cleavage, she looks sky (not naturally) high. I guess it was not for no reason neither that Heath was wearing super dark sunglasses. But since assumption is the mother of all fuck-ups, I guess Michelle must have assumed that nobody would assume her to get high on drugs while being so obviously pregnant. It reminds me of the small scandal where one member of the Dutch royal family was said to have given the waving and applauding people THE finger, just below the window of his vehicle (Was it the golden carriage? Or maybe it was the boat: The Green Dragon). ‘Arrogant’, most definitely, ‘deeply intelligent’, definitely not. The reasons why Michelle would do this are up for debate, but I have a good (well, actually, very bad) hunch and one of these has to do with MK. Check out the pics and judge for yourself. I can’t judge, because both times when I got pregnant, I was in one of my smoking periods (not the 10 per day though, don’t worry) and I didn’t manage to stop immediately, on the spot, as in: right away, and did smoke a few more after finding out I was expecting. Addiction can be a bitch, you see. Oh, and karma as well. Sometimes even a heinous one.

Kat: “Tempestuous?” Ms. Perky: “Heinous bitch is the term used most often.” 10 Things I Hate About You

Mar (sea – Spanish) Mont (mountain – French, mond = mouth in Dutch = same pronounciation) Thing is that around the time of his death, the aforementioned video surfaced of Heath in a hotel room where his face was twitching in such a way that I suspect he had a tiddy bit tad too much XTC (or coke, but those effects I’m less familiar with). It was on an afterparty of some award show in the famous Chateau Marmont Hotel in January 2006, where he won a price for his portrayal of Ennis del Mar in Brokeback Mountain, which seems to be a very good reason for celebration, especially because his Oscar went to a mafia movie. From the aforementioned Vanity Fair article: “In any event, Ledger and Williams separated for good in the summer of 2007, while he was making The Dark Knight. Some press accounts blamed Ledger, citing heavy drinking and hard-drug use, including cocaine and heroin. A video clip even surfaced purportedly showing him snorting what looks like coke and saying, “My girlfriend is going to fucking kill me.”

On www.news.com.au, on September 28th 2009 (weird, he died in 2008; typing error maybe) there was an article headed ‘US programs pull Ledger ‘drug video’. It reads: “Two US entertainment programs, Entertainment Tonight and The Insider, yesterday decided not to screen a video of Heath Ledger reportedly taking drugs two years ago. The two CBS programs heavily promoted excerpts of the video, which was said to have been taken at a Los Angeles hotel, the Chateau Marmont, in January 2006. But in a message on the ET website the company briefly noted: “Out of respect for Heath Ledger’s family, Entertainment Tonight and The Insider have decided not to run the Heath Ledger video which has been circulating in the world media.” Needless to say, probably, that even with the ‘oh so’ noble decision to not air the video, the damage was already done. Quite an expensive mistake, paying 200,000 US$ for a video that you can’t broadcast, which is more than enough money to buy a house in some very nice places. But I guess that for those companies, and in the world of success in general, it’s like buying a round of coffee. I mean, if you’re a celebrity and into designer bags, you only have like a hand full of bags for that amount.

For people like me it’s a lot of money though. To illustrate my point: I just bought a dining table with 6 chairs, a TV-closet, 2 (1 fake and 1 real) leather – amazingly comfy – chairs, 2 super cute children desks (one home-made lighthouse desk and one artist’s apple desk) with chairs, a small kids closet with 7 drawers; one for each day of the week (in French!), a children’s bench, a huge – amazingly comfy – couch, a big ‘dressoir’, like 33 – all different – picture frames, a blackboard, a practically new backpackers’ backpack, one of those things for in the hall that you can hang coats from (which is called a ‘kapstok’ in Dutch), and a few things more, for the amazing amount of 375 euros. And that included the costs of transportation to bring it to where I wanted to receive it: THE NEXT DAY. Shall I tell you something? I didn’t need to ask anybody’s permission, I didn’t have to take anybody’s opinion into consideration (the colours don’t match, I don’t like it, it’s too small, it’s too old, it’s too big, it’s too cheap, what if it doesn’t fit, look there’s a scratch, the key is missing… aaaaaargh!) and I bought all of this on an impulse, on the spot, in like two hours, for the sole and only reason that I needed it, I liked it and felt like buying it. And nobody started nagging afterwards. Shall I tell you something else? I couldn’t be happier with it, I bought it at the recycle stores and the people were

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A Skateboard Serenade (.com) 7. The Philosopher’s Stone amazing and it’s the start of my new life and I absolutely, totally and completely love it. And what’s even better: the money they raise in the recycle store goes to… wait for it… helping out (ex) drug addicts. BAM!

“I don’t ever wanna feel, like I did that day. But take me to the place I love, take me all the way.” Under the bridge – Red Hot Chili Peppers

The article continues: “The about-face came after Ledger’s US publicist, Mara [funny, she has the same name as Alex/Heath’s ‘the one’ in ‘The Sin Eater’] Buxbaum, who also represents Ledger’s former fiancée, Michelle Williams, derided a report in magazine US Weekly alleging Ledger refused to undergo rehabilitation for drug problems last year. “Much of the tabloid reporting is inaccurate,” Ms Buxbaum said in a statement. “This fabricating story of Michelle Williams attempting to bring Heath Ledger to rehab is just one lie among many.” “The speculation is heinous. Let his family grieve privately.” No illicit drugs were found in the New York apartment where Ledger was found dead last week. Numerous sources suggested Ledger’s only vice during his Christmas visit to his home town of Perth was cigarettes.”

I always wonder how those fiercely private celebrities, who have lived in the spotlights for many years and should be experts in keeping secrets, can be so incredibly stupid as to not be able to keep exactly the most important stuff hidden, like very personal and inside info about rehab issues for example. Or maybe it’s just a matter of somebody stabbing someone else in the back, like Heath’s following quote indicates does happen: “One of my biggest mistakes in life is thinking people will show me the same love I’ve shown them.” He really seems to have run into a shit load of bad luck at some point. I mean, having an American publicist who’s supposed to save your image by saying ‘MUCH of the tabloid reporting is inaccurate’, as in: there’s truth in there as well, without specifying any further, obviously only fuels those particular rumours. ‘A very poor choice of words’ would be quite an understatement. And, clearly, it’s not very handy neither to have the same person representing two people who are caught up in a separation process of the kind described earlier. But maybe I’m wrong and some people do have a talent to represent both parties simultaneously. In the end, it’s all a matter of interpretation, I guess. I mean, one just has to add some commas here and there to already change the meaning of a sentence completely. Interesting how assumption always directs you in a certain direction, while actually there might be more than one option available…

Anyway, Michelle Williams was also staying in the Chateau Marmont with Heath’s beloved daughter Matilda and he mentions them in the video at some point, saying: “Dude. I’m in serious shit with my girlfriend. Hanging out. Why? We had a baby two months ago and I am not supposed to be here.” When some media wanted to air the video, Heath’s friends/peers successfully prevented this from happening, showing their concern about his image and well- being, even after his death. This included Natalie Portman from V for Vendetta – off course. Which reminds me of an ‘actors on actors’ interview that she did with, hey, Michelle Williams where, in my opinion, the openness, insecurity and sincerity of one actress was a blatant contradiction with the (deeply intelligent, but nevertheless badly) hidden, self-indulgent ego-trip of the other actress. Because of so many people being concerned about Heath’s well- being and image, I find it so strikingly strange that actress and former talk show host, Busy Philipps, Michelle Williams’ BFF and godmother to Matilda, filmed a car scene of herself crying (I didn’t see tears though – and would be very surprised if anyone did) around the 10-year anniversary of Heath’s death, saying that a song about shooting up heroin and Paris (‘Time to pretend’ by MGMT) reminded her so much of Heath. Eh… huh? Michelle publicly said that Busy is her true soulmate and always has her back, but Busy was obviously less busy having Heath’s and Matilda’s back when she posted her car antics on Instagram for the whole wide world to see.

“I’m feeling rough, I’m feeling raw, I’m in the prime of my life. Let’s make some music, make some money. Find some models for wives. I’ll move to Paris, shoot some heroin and fuck with the stars. You man the island and the cocaine and the elegant cars. This is our decision, to live fast and die young. We’ve got the vision, now let’s have some fun. Yeah, it’s overwhelming, but what else can we do? Get jobs in offices and wake up for the morning commute? Forget about our mothers and our friends, we’re fated to pretend. To pretend. We’re fated to pretend. I’ll miss the playgrounds and the animals and digging up worms. I’ll miss the comfort of my mother and the weight of the world. I’ll miss my sister, miss my father, miss my dog and my home. Yeah, I’ll miss the boredom and the freedom and the time spent alone. But there is really nothing, nothing we can do. Love must be forgotten, life can always start up anew. The models will have children, we’ll get a divorce. We’ll find some more models, everything must run its course. We’ll choke on our vomit and that will be the end. We were fated to pretend. To pretend. We’re fated to pretend. To pretend. I said yeah (12x)” Time to pretend – MGMT

The heroin link also came up when Oscar-winning actor (as mentioned before; his portrayal of mafia boss Capote won it from Heath’s gay cowboy, as could be expected – no offense), kind and talented Philip Seymour Hoffman died of a heroin overdose and, fiercely private, Michelle was photographed visiting his mourning widow very shortly after his death (was it the next day?), after which rumours surfaced about Philip having been a mentor for Heath to stay off heroin (something that, obviously, could’ve been expected). Those paparazzi are even at places where you expect them the least. So sad.

“They laugh at you because they don’t know what you’re capable of.” Pinterest Six?! And then, last but not least, we have this specimen of a pathetic woman called Rebecca White (the irony is brilliant), who’s supposed to be a former assistant to Naomi Campbell (Camp Bell, interesting). You know, the well-known, famous top model, a little bit less well-known for her alleged anger management issues on a few past occasions, such as the one where she was said to have thrown a phone at an assistant. Heath knew Naomi as well and even brought his friend N’FA over to her place, who, at that time, still had posters of her hanging on his wall (I AM Heath Ledger). From www.nymag.com/features/44217/: “Rebecca White, a 33-year-old former assistant to Naomi Campbell who claimed to have seen Ledger doing drugs. “The first time I met him, at Puff Daddy’s house in Los Angeles, Heath asked Naomi for cocaine,” she said. “At another party in Paris, Heath took at least six Ecstasy pills, popped them in his mouth all at once, and swigged them with a bottle of champagne.” As it happens, White, who was also a key witness to Kate Moss’s drug use when a video of the model snorting cocaine surfaced in 2005, seems to be the source for many accounts of Ledger’s Bunyanesque consumption. Her interview with The Sun was picked up by the Australian Daily Telegraph and Courier Mail and other papers. Then, in an interview with England’s Daily Mail, White elaborated, claiming that Ledger’s drug use had recently spiralled out of control because he was afraid of losing custody of his daughter and adding this striking comment about Ledger’s former fiancée, Michelle Williams: “Heath was an Adonis and she was dowdy and not in his league – career-wise or looks-wise – and no one could understand why they got together.” That version of the story was picked up by dozens of other publications, not to mention those to which she spoke anonymously as a “member of Ledger’s entourage.” She also offered to provide information to New York for a stipulated fee of $1500 (an offer that was declined).”

I can really imagine that everybody was super interested in this story and it got picked up by dozens+ of other publications, especially because Rebecca, indeed: strikingly, felt it necessary to suddenly take a dig at poor Michelle. I mean, jeez woman, what did she do wrong? I have to admit it is true though that before Brokeback Mountain and becoming one of Heath’s girls, Michelle never even did a press bucket, as she said herself in an ‘interview’. It’s quite obvious that Michelle’s life really changed after meeting Heath and one could definitely say that being with him catapulted her into stardom. Maybe this is why Rebecca lashed out so suddenly: she was jealous. But you never know, I mean: maybe Michelle already knew ‘My week with Marilyn’ producer Harvey

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Weinstein before posing with him on the red carpet of the ‘I’m not there’ premiere, on her first public outing after she and Heath broke up. Coming to think of it, yes, this could very well be, because Busy also mentions him in her… book and there are quite some pictures of Michelle, Busy and Harvey together, on different occasions. And since Michelle and Busy have been best friends ‘forever’ these pictures might very well have been taken before Michelle was on crutches and hooked up with Heath. Maybe one day, if I have time, I’ll check it out. Anyway, whatever it is, we have to keep in mind here that jealousy does have the power to turn saints into the sea (which translates as ‘mar’ in Spanish), according to The Killers (Mr. Brightside). I do have to admit that personally I’m not that familiar with the feelings of jealousy though (knock off on plain wood), but I definitely have other vices: such as getting infuriated when I encounter injustice. Also, the combination of arrogance, ignorance, lying and being mean definitely pushes my buttons and can bring out the worse in me. Some would call it ‘tempestuous’.

Anyway, I guess this ‘out of the blue’-comment of Rebecca really did hurt painfully shy Michelle and seems to have haunted her for more than a decade. Even recently, still, after such a long time, she felt it necessary to share with the big public that she always told Matilda that ‘her father loved her before anybody thought she was pretty or had nice clothes’. So sad that such a beautiful and touching statement of a fiercely private, deeply intelligent, heartbroken, grieving ‘widow’ and devoted mother is poisoned by the heinous lies, that are forever attached to this evil dig at her, from a woman who is willing to ruin the image of Michelle’s beloved daughter’s father for a mere 1500$. Probably it reminds everybody, like it reminded me, of the other part of that same article where Rebecca accuses Heath of being some kind of terrible drug addict. Thank God (on my bare knees) that Michelle has proven to be able to take care of herself though, having been emancipated from her parents at age 15 so she could work longer hours and become the toughest bitch that Busy Philipps knows. And since Busy really seems to know showbiz Hollywood very well, seen from her social media output and career path (including her former talk show), basically naming Michelle as THE überbitch must really mean something. You guys.

“She’ll make you curse, but she a blessing. She’ll rip your shirt within a second. You’ll be coming back, back for seconds. With your plate, you just can’t help it.” Sweet but psycho – Ava Max

On a different take: Mrs. White’s claim is so blatantly ridiculous, that it’s almost laughable. (At least, pfff) six XTC-pills at the same time with a bottle of champagne? Seriously girl? IF you lie, at least do it properly. Almost everybody on E (slang for XTC) drinks water, because the mix with alcohol is asking for trouble (dehydration) and especially when you take six pills, which nobody does, unless they’re peppermints and not even then, because peppermint and champagne are an awful combination. But since it’s Paris and not ‘I AMsterdam’, one can indeed doubt the quality of the drugs that you can buy there, which might explain why Heath needed six pills instead of a quarter or half of a pill (IF what she says is true). I’ve seen a lot of people take drugs and even the worst/best parties would not bring the ‘party hardest’ people that I know up to more than a max of 3 or 4 pills in total, spread out over a whole festival day, including the evening, or night. You know what? Make it 5 to be sure. But 6 XTC-pills AT ONCE? No way Jose. He would have died that evening or there would, at least, be a medical report showing that he encountered physical problems. Just from this point of view and taking an assumed average foreign quality of pills into consideration: this accusation is plain nonsense. And the claim that his drug use spiralled out of control because of him being afraid to lose custody is contradicting multiple sources that claim that Heath went as clean as a whistle, which is the most logical thing to do for a parent who’s obsessed with his daughter and afraid to lose custody. And I can talk from direct experience here: Michael is saying I’m a junkie while I’m as clean as a whistle myself and I am willing to take random blood tests to prove this. This Rebecca woman is up for sale and her being a ‘key witness’ to the Kate Moss coke scandal in 2005 (hey, that’s the same year that Michelle and Heath met) most likely established her as a well-known, drug-related image threat in celebrity land. Anyway…

Peas Heath and Michelle seemed so happy together and he even called her his soulmate and said they were like “Two peas in a pot”. They sort of met when filming a sled ride down a slippery slope for Brokeback Mountain and Michelle suddenly hurt her knee. Even though, according to director Ang Lee, the sled ride ‘didn’t look like much’ (I AM Heath Ledger), she was on crutches for basically the whole shoot. Poor actress. Heath was quoted saying that he always had the feeling that he had to take care of her after that. He indeed protects her and shows his concern about her obvious display of discomfort with regards to the intrusiveness of the media on multiple occasions, like on a specific red-carpet event that I mention somewhere else in this book. On the contrary, Heath was well known for hating the whole publicity hoopla and only grudgingly went along if he felt he didn’t have another option. Michelle said that their pregnancy, very shortly after they met, was something ‘cosmic’ and Heath said that “Our bodies definitely made those decisions for us.” which I interpret as ‘against all odds’ and ’beyond statistical chance’, like for instance in the case you’re supposed to be protected by birth control and get pregnant anyway. But hey, I’m the last person you have to convince that coincidence doesn’t exist: I totally understand and if something’s meant to be, it’s meant to be. And with some it isn’t, like apparently was the case with Naomi Watts. From www.nymag.com/features/44217/: “He and Watts were together for nearly two years but split just before Brokeback – a film she had encouraged him to make – because Watts, eleven years his senior, reportedly wanted a family, and Ledger, then 24, wasn’t ready. Less than a year later and just a few months into a new relationship, Ledger was a father-to-be. He and Williams hadn’t planned the pregnancy, but in 2006, he told Rolling Stone that the event was practically fated: “We just fell very deeply into one another’s arms.”

From Youtube ‘Heath Ledger – completely unauthorized Story’ by ‘Copperpot Gaming’ at 8.05 “My life changed certainly from meeting eh… eh, Michelle. I have a family. A beautiful family. And a beautiful… two beautiful girls. Thanks to Brokeback Mountain.” Some say that Heath loved his little girl (I mean Matilda, not Michelle) so much that he was almost obsessed with her and he was often pictured carrying her around New York on his shoulders: hit little ray of sunshine. Heath was the one that took a year and a half off from work after Matilda was born. He told the Boston Globe: “I’m Mr. Mom.” “I get [Michelle] granola and cook her an egg. I clean the dishes, and then I’m cooking lunch… I love my new job.” He also said he was Michelle’s driver. Can you imagine? He even made a list of things he wanted to say to Matilda for after she was born and asked his good friend Ben Harper to write her a lullaby on the grand piano he gave him as a gift, sometime earlier. Ben says in ‘I AM Heath Ledger’ that nobody ever asked something more precious of him and the result is a beautiful song that really seems to reflect a father’s love for his daughter.

“Couldn’t leave you to crawl to heaven, I carry you in my smile. For the first time my true reflection I see and happy ever after in your eyes.” Happy ever after in your eyes / Matilda’s song – Ben Harper (Heath Ledger)

When Michelle felt insecure about her pregnant body, Heath strapped on a fake belly underneath his T-shirt to make her feel better and there’s a picture of the first time he did this on Pinterest. When she wrote the words ‘OLD MAN RIVER’ on his arm, that good, ol’, romantic Heath got them tattooed ‘right away’. “Ol’ Man River, that Ol’ Man River. He must know somethin’ but he don’t say nothin’“ Old man river – Show Boat

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The tattoo is even visible in his movie The Dark Knight, in the ‘elite fundraiser’-scene with all of Bruce Wayne’s rich and fancy, top-notch, probably also celebrity friends. Maybe this was because the words seem to have been written on a vein called the ‘basilic vein’, which sounds an awful lot like ‘Basilisk’. You know, the legendary reptile from European mythology, that was said to be the King of Serpents and have the power to cause death with a single glance. J.K. Rowling used this mythical animal for her book ‘Harry Potter and The Chamber of Secrets’ and it was affiliated with evil through Salazar Slytherin and Voldemort. The link is clear: like Voldemort represents absolute evil in Harry Potter, according to Christopher Nolan; The Joker was supposed to represent ‘an absolute’ [evil] in The Dark Knight. Interestingly enough, according to David Icke, the fancy elite/ Illuminati (and our world history, including yours) has many links with extra-terrestrial reptilians, as mad as it may sound. Do think about this for a second though: everybody with a bit of a brain can anticipate the very dismissive reaction ‘reptilian’ claims would certainly and immediately ignite. Right? So, IF someone (who is not permanently kept in a mental institution, and even then -since commenting on governmental policy is also considered a mental illness these days-) has the courageous guts to voice similar, highly controversial, claims, isn’t it only logical that there must be very good reasons and strong arguments to do so? And, in that case, wouldn’t it be worth it to (at least) hear that person out? Just thinking out loud here. If ‘shapeshifting reptilians’ is a bit too much of a stretch for innocent minds to bare, on a lighter take: ‘basilic’ is a famous herb from Italy, the country known for their delicious pasta, pizza, ice cream and wine and the place where Heath spent many months while filming ‘The Order’ and ‘Casanova’. Basilic forms a great mix with tomatoes and mozzarella and if you put them in a specific order, you have the colours of the Italian flag. Why so serious? I love Italy.

Anyway, Heath’s friends thought he was going to move to the centre of New York, but, being the kind and gentle soul that he apparently was (“His heart was just incredibly beautiful” I AM Heath Ledger), he went along with Michelle’s wish for Brooklyn. I read in Vanity Fair “Williams had been living in Brooklyn, near her parents and that the couple eventually bought a new house there.” But this must have been a mistake, because her father Larry (who home- schooled Michelle) is supposed to be living outside of the USA for years already, after having been accused of tax evasion. In any case, after their split Heath moved to an apartment on 421 Broome Street, close to Little Italy and China Town in Lower Manhattan, just a 7-minute bike ride from Centre Street. When Heath was still living in Los Angeles, he had an open house policy for aspiring Australians actors to stay for extended periods of time: “Come one, come all!” [Naomi Watts - I AM Heat Ledger]. It was nicknamed ‘the Aussie artists’ colony’ and if you were from Australia and new in town you could ‘just call Heath’. There were like around 50 people having the keys and Heath, being the social animal that he was, loved it. “You’re a friend of a friend? Of course, you can stay here. Of course, you can show up without calling first.” “But when Ledger and Williams moved in together in a new place in LA, the open-house policy ended. “He had to cut that. It was totally against his nature.” [Vanity Fair]

Remarkable, Michelle says that the name Matilda ‘fell in her head’ while she was on the subway and that it reminded her of the little girl in Roald Dahl’s book that could make things move with her eyes. But one of Heath’s long-time friends, Melissa Thomas, says in an interview for ‘Studio 10’ that ‘Matilda’ was his favourite name and he even named his car like that at some point. Maybe you know the name from the well-known Australian song ‘Waltzing Matilda’: “Waltzing Matilda is a song about an Australian hobo, I guess you call him, and he wonders through the bushlands of Australia and he takes all his meagre belongings wrapped up in an old blanket, which is strung across his shoulders with an old piece of twine. And this is called his swag, hence the name ‘swagman’. Affectionately, he refers to the swag as ‘Matilda’, it’s like his only companion. As he wonders through the bush tracks, he finds himself talking to it as if it is a real person. So, the term ‘waltzing Matilda’ has nothing to do with dancing. It means carrying this thing on your back through the long, lonely stretches of the Australian bush” [YouTube: ‘Waltzing Matilda Lyrics’ by ‘8788q’]

“He had a great swagger” Steve Alexander, about Heath, ‘I AM Heath Ledger’

“Old bushmills I staggered, you buried the dagger. Your silhouette window light. To go waltzing Matilda, waltzing Matilda. You’ll go a waltzing Matilda with me.” Waltzing Matilda - Tom Waits live 1977 [THE Devil in ‘The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus’]

“Every star in the night, promises the dawn. I’ll be with you if you fall, to ever so heavenly rest upon.” Happy ever after in your eyes / Matilda’s song – Ben Harper (Heath Ledger)

But I’m getting off topic. From the documents of the Jane Doe court case related to the Chateau Marmont drug video, that TMZ managed to obtain, it was blatantly obvious that it was a clear-cut case of a pathetic set-up. Who would do something like that to a devoted father with such an incredibly beautiful heart and for what reason one might wonder? Indeed, this world is really ill. “The fact is, Ledger probably did cocaine. He might have snorted, smoked, or even injected heroin (in his glam-hipster milieu hardly the gutter death-trip many assume), although he convincingly denied it when describing preparations for his junkie role in Candy. He certainly took prescription pills, possibly not always for medical reasons. And as he said, he used to smoke several joints a day. But contrary to the binary thinking of the media’s Ledger debate, his drug use doesn’t negate the “good Heath” story line. The arbitrary distinctions between good and bad drugs, and good and bad star behaviour, obscure the fact that there likely was no bad Heath Ledger. As it happens, he might have been better off if he had behaved more horribly, if he weren’t so widely adored. An addict’s best hope for recovery is being an intolerable asshole when he’s using. And to say the least, few remember that kind of Ledger.” [www.nymag.com/features/44217/]

Kat: “Tell me a secret, something nobody knows.” Patrick: “I don’t like peas.” 10 things I hate about you

So, to cut a long story short: Heath represents light (goodness) within darkness (evil) and I represent darkness (evil: ouch) within light (oh my goodness). And now you know a bit more about the how and why of that statement.

“I am not the mistakes that I have made or any of the things that caused me pain. I am not the pieces of the dream I left behind. I am light. I am light.” I am light – Indie Arie

Yang Yin From a knowledge/ignorance perspective it’s the other way around: I am light within darkness, since I grew up in the matrix darkness of ignorance, but, despite, managed to find (if I may say so myself) cosmic truth and attain spiritual wisdom (through grace), which is a form of enlightenment (more about ‘Light and Darkness’ in the similar named chapter). This makes Heath darkness within light, where his darkness stands for his possible cosmic – dark deeds (I AM Heath Ledger Doc: Venice Carnavale (carne = meat, hence the word ‘carnivore’): “They shot an 8mm movie”, “He wore the masks”, “…this defined him as an actor”) within his matrix – illuminated (light) knowledge, through his Freemasonic upbringing for example. I believe he did this for a very good reason though: Sort of ‘shaken, not stirred’ with a license to kill, as a cosmic 007, if you will (hey, that rhymes). Do you want to know why I think he had to do this? I’ll tell you:

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Darkness defined The morning after Heath was found dead, according to his father Kim (which, still, happens to be a girls’ name in Holland), he was supposed to meet with Stephen Spielberg and maybe Heath missing this appointment was one of very few good things about him dying so soon. Maybe, just maybe, it was even one of the meanings Michelle managed to find around the circumstances of his death.

“I found meanings around the circumstance, but the actual even itself, still doesn’t have a… I can’t find a… I can’t find it. I can’t find a meaning for it.” Michelle Williams www.globalnewsbox.com reports in an article with the title ‘Tom Hanks & Steven Spielberg accused of child rape’: that Hollywood actor Isaac Kappy claims that Tom Hanks and Steven Spielberg, amongst other A-list stars, “will all be remembered by generations to come as notorious abusers on par with Jimmy Savile”. For your information: Jimmy Savile was a famous English television person, said to be closely connected to the UK royal family and accused of supplying children for elite sex parties. David Icke also mentions this creepy specimen of a human being in his books and despite Icke having been ridiculed for decades, time has proven him to be right on more than many occasions. Isaac Kappa describes paedophilia as THE Hollywood sickness, which matches with similar accusations made by former child-actor Corey Feldman, for example. The article also mentions that a woman named Sarah Ruth Ashcraft posted a picture of herself on social media with the caption “This is me at 13, the age I was when @thomhanks purchased me from my father for sex as a dissociated #mindcontrol doll. I wonder how much he paid? I wonder how much $$$ my father made for breaking my mind & selling my child body throughout my life. Will I ever get to know?” According to the article, Kappa also accused senior Hollywood elite of cannibalism and mentioned that the infamous Rothschilds know their way with human flesh as well.

Maybe it’s difficult for you to imagine links between the UK royals and scandals, but Google-ing Jeffrey Epstein and Prince Andrew (as one of his many celebrity friends, including Donald Trump) might help you with this. On second thought; instead of using Google, (I’m thinking about the scary career path of former DARPA director and later Google and still later Facebook executive, Regina E. Dugan here, which is maybe why WhatsApp is suddenly owned by Facebook, coming to think of it), you might want to use www.startpage.com or www.duckduckgo.com, or another search engine that (says it) won’t track your search history, so you can’t be flagged looking up too much ‘wrong’ information. And, while you’re at it, you might want to use a VPN as well – yes, I’m paranoid. But, in case you’re a bit too lazy and just put your feet up after a hard day of work with a hot cup of tea or coffee and a chocolate-chip-cookie, or a cold beer and some crisps for that matter, let me help you out. www.thesun.co.uk on December 2nd 2018, heads: “Prince Andrew dragged back into Jeffrey Epstein paedo scandal as pick of him with ‘underage prostitute’ is listed as exhibit at new court case”. www.theguardian.com (January 10th 2015): “Jeffrey Epstein: inside the decade of scandal entangling Prince Andrew”. www.dailymail.co.uk (Dec 1st 2018): “The picture set to come back and haunt Prince Andrew: British royal faces being dragged back into child prostitution scandal involving former friend and convicted paedophile Jeffry Epstein as the American billionaire’s victims launch a civil suit.” (Update: a few months after I wrote this Epstein is dead, as in: committed suicide in a maximum-security kind of prison. Hmmm…) And then we have, off course, the concerning picture of a naked person dangling off a sheet from one of the windows of Buckingham Palace. Not sure if Andrew actually lives there, but it’s strange nevertheless and I’m quite sure that this specific procedure of exiting the royal palace is not included in the ‘your royal highness’ etiquette book. David Icke says that the UK is the real hub of power in the world and that the Dutch royal family don’t play an insignificant role neither. The latter might be confirmed by the fact that ‘big kid’ Alexander and Maxima (daughter of Jorge Zorrequita, who was a “‘dirty war’ minister who couldn’t escape his past” and was linked to Argentina’s coup in 1976, not only, according to www.independent.co.uk) are king and queen of The Netherlands. Alexander’s grandfather was Prince Bernhard, who happened to be a Nazi during the war and the initiator behind the infamous Bilderberg Group meetings, where the top of politics, banking, business life and God knows who else with power, yearly meet to discuss how to continue to rule the planet, behind closed doors. Welcome to reality.

Andrew off piste Allow me a little brainstorm, since Heath’s middle name is Andrew. I can look at this from several perspectives, and one mixes the following aspects (just to name a few), which also indicates I initially had my doubts about Heath’s parents:

 The Ledger family and their links to high-ranked, influential people in (Western Australian) society  The elite Guildford Grammar school that Heath went to as part of the male Ledger family tradition (yes, the automatic guns’ school)  His ancestors’ Freemasonic background, while there are very strong suggestions that Freemasonry is closely related to darkness, in all its various forms. (The lower level Freemasons don’t know this, for your information, so don’t think too ‘black and white’)  Heath’s mum, Sally Bell Ledger (formerly Bradshaw) being a descendent from the Scottish Campbell clan, (in)famous for their part in the 1692 massacre of the MacDonald family at Glencoe, after having accepted their hospitality for days.  Australia being used as a prison continent where criminals were sent, in earlier days  The covert influence of the UK (royalty) in Australia, which is already confirmed by taking one look at the Australian flag.

The UK royal family: Prince Andrew, you know, the friend of Jeffrey Epstein with his ‘Lolita express’, on which Bill ‘I-did-not-have-sexual- relations-with-that-woman’ Clinton also was a frequent flyer with 26 trips (according to a www.foxnews.com article from May 13th 2016 with the title ‘Flight logs show Bill Clinton flew on sex offender’s jet much more than previously known’), is also known as the Duke of York.

“She used to cook for the Duke of York. I miss her like the sun misses the flower.” Watt – A Knight’s Tale

Prince Andrew is the son of Queen Elizabeth II and Prince Philip (whose face definitely resembles my picture-book definition of an evil creep) – Duke of Edinburgh, and was born on the 19th of February 1960, which makes him 19 when Heath was born. Andrew is the brother of Prince Charles and the former brother-in-law of Princess Diana, who is said to have nicknamed her royal family ‘the lizards’ and who died in a car crash in the Pont d’Alma in Paris, almost directly below the ‘Flame of Liberty’. The latter happens to be a ‘full-sized, gold-leaf-covered replica of the new flame at the upper end of the torch carried in the hand of the Statue of Liberty [Liberty, as in: ‘Do what thou want’ and Semiramis – see the chapter ‘A fantastic guessipe’] (Liberty Enlightening the World) at the entrance to the harbour of New York City since 1886’. Contrary to what many people think, this ‘Flame of Do What Thou Want’ was already there before Diana died in the tunnel below, which also goes for the black (inverted) pentagram that it was placed upon. From www.vigilantcitizen.com/vigilantreport/princess-dianas-death-and-memorial-the-occult- meaning/: “The city of Paris was built by the Merovingians [link with Neo in ‘The Matrix Reloaded’], a medieval dynasty which ruled France for numerous generations. Before converting to Christianity, the Merovingian religion was a mysterious brand of paganism. The Pont D’Alma Tunnel was a sacred site dedicated to the Moon Goddess Diana, where they used to practice ritual sacrifices. During those ceremonies, it was of an utmost importance that the sacrificed victim died inside the underground temple.” There was indeed quite a discussion on why she was treated at

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the scene of the crash for an eternity of 40 minutes, instead of being taken straight to the nearest hospital, which wasn’t the Pitie-Salpetriere, but the Hotel-Dieu (that the ambulance passed on the way), by the way.

 The, by me, suspected links between Heath and mind control, including sexual (child) abuse would make Heath a ‘victim’ in the eyes of the average observer, but I’m quite sure he doesn’t want to be called like that and would even prefer the term ‘beast’ over ‘victim’. This is for the simple reason that being a victim implies that things are being done to you outside of your control and you’re not the one in power. And if you want to live up as fully as possible to your inherent potential as an integral part of All That Is/WhatEver/The Creator, you simply don’t allow that to happen by accepting full responsibility for whatever it is that happens to you. Whether you like it or not: you create your own reality.

“(S)he who laughs in times of crisis has found someone to blame.” Epic one-liners

So, seen from that perspective, indeed, he’s not a victim, but only if he managed to find a perspective (as in: created a reality) to take control back and turn his fate around, for instance by acknowledging himself as a conscious creator and intentionally observing himself as, for instance, a hero instead – already from the beginning. Even if he seemingly wasn’t, with abuse and Dissociative Identity Disorder – mind fragmentation and memory loss – as a likely result, and The Book not being there to prove the validity of his (possibly subconscious) creation. Yet.

So, as a continuation on what I wrote in the last bullet (pun intended, or maybe I should have used arrows instead), I can also look at Heath’s middle name being ‘Andrew’ from a perspective that, already from birth he was destined to “clean up”, “rock the boat” and “blow up all that Hollywood shit” – and all the ties it has to the main rulers of the world, including the UK royal family with their alleged, child-‘prostitute’ loving Duke of York, so perfectly named Andrew.

“I liked him stomping on aristocracy. You know, I was like: Yeah, down! Down! It was good, I like doing that.” Heath Ledger (YouTube: ‘Heath Ledger’s smoke break at ‘A Knight’s Tale’ Premiere’)

From Michael Newton’s work, as described in his book ‘Life between Lives’, this is definitely a possibility. It shows that souls do make conscious decisions about the main outlines of their future life (like parents, country, body etc.) and this perspective matches perfectly with my dream of Heath’s face in the clouds, where he was some kind of old army uniform wearing lots of medals. Immortality (as in: reincarnation) rocks!

Adhemar: “Your armor.” William: “What about it?” A: “It’s an antique. Soon my grandfather will be able to wear his one in public again.” “He will rock you!” A Knight’s Tale

Since I shared with you my thoughts on Heath’s middle name, I might as well cover his first and last name, while I’m at it. As mentioned before, his first name, Heath, symbolises the Oubouros (a snake eating its own tail, that stands for ‘All is One’) in letters: ‘H eat H’. Another interesting characteristic of his name is that it’s pronounced as ‘heat’, as in: ‘warmth’, which is so closely related to ‘fire’ and ‘light’ that it can even be seen as a metaphorical synonym for one another. Fire and Light in an ‘evil’ interpretation stand for ‘hell fire’ (see the chapter Light & Darkness) and ‘Satan: Light Bearer’. Fire in a ‘good’ interpretation stands for warmth – like my 98-year-old grandmother always used to say: “Kou is armoe.”, meaning ‘Cold is poverty’ in Dutch. Light stands for ‘cosmic enlightenment’, but also refers to the light of our visual spectrum that enables us to experience this reality in the here and now and see for ourselves how heaven on earth can be created.

Heath is named after the dark lover from Emily Bronte’s ‘Wuthering Heights’: Heathcliff. The cliff is the edge where ‘The Fool’ (which is another name for a joker) stands on in the Rider Waite tarot, before he steps off. And in the Salvador Dali tarot, it’s not the fool, but ‘The Devil’ who steps off the edge. Heath jumped off a cliff in his movie Brokeback Mountain. Interesting: broke back (maybe because I wasn’t there to protect it, yet) mountain (there you go, my middle name is Hildegard – ‘Hill The Guard’.). There’s a book in which there’s a picture of Heath, just before he jumped off the Brokeback Mountain cliff, where he looks an awful lot like the modern version of the god Pan. The book’s name is ‘Testamento’, it’s in Italian and written by a certain James Federici. Feder = ‘feather’ in German = ‘plume’ in French. Ici = ‘here’ in French. All of this links to Heath’s movie ‘The Four Feathers’ and the important ‘nom de plume’ topic from his ‘unwind’ movie ‘Casanova’. On top of it, KAOS (!) published the book, spelled in exactly the way of Heath’s wrist tattoo and as we all know, Heath’s Joker considered himself to be an agent of chaos.

Do feel free to consider me crazy (define ‘normal’ please), I don’t care, and no, I’m not finished yet. Heath’s last name is Ledger. According to Wikipedia: “A ledger is the principal book or computer file for recording and totalling economic transactions measured in terms of a monetary unit of account by account type, with debits and credits in separate columns and a beginning monetary balance and ending monetary balance for each account.” Now, think about what that would mean in metaphorical terms, when you put it next to The Story.

“Mr. Lau, do you have details of this communal fund? Ledgers, notebooks…?” Rachel – The Dark Knight

“It’s all part of the Story” Jacob (Heath) – The Brothers Grimm Game mountain But I was talking about Spielberg (literal translation: Spiel = game and Berg = mountain, in German. Hmmm…): From www.henrymakow.com/australian_satanist_exposes_wo.html an article from May 22nd 2016 with the title ‘Australian Adept Unveiled World Satanic Control’ (the same confession was included in one of David Icke’s books, although he had no way of verifying the authenticity of the document): “”A mentor” in the Satanic network set him up in the travel business and for years Frater lived a life of unimaginable wealth, occultism and debauchery. He studied the black arts: divination, dark meditation, sacrifice, sexual vampirism, voodoo dolls and sex magic. Each day ended with a “Black Mass orgy of unforgettable and unspeakable delight.” The US-based ‘Church of Satan’ was the public face of “an ancient body whose very existence had never before been imagined”. He lists as “influential members” J.P. Morgan, Drs. James McDonald and Rene Hardy, the Kennedy’s (including Jackie), Irving Berlin, Groucho Marx, Elvis Presley, Garner Ted Armstrong, Sammy Davis Jr., Ronald Reagan, Edward Heath, Thomas Plantard de St Claire and the Bushes. He later mentions Stephen Spielberg, George Lucas and Gerald Ford as members.” For your information: other sources have mentioned some of the same names, like Brice Taylor mentions Gerald Ford, George Bush and, if I’m not mistaken, also Elvis Presley (who smelled like puke). Another MK-victim (I think it was Cathy O’Brien) tells about how Ted Heath owned her and mutilated her genitals in such a way that Hillary Clinton got very excited with the result. Welcome to reality.

Shia Labeouf seems to confirm the Spielberg accusations when he answers the question “Can you tell us a secret about Stephen Spielberg?” with “He eats babies.” [YouTube: ‘Megan Fox and Shia LaBoeuf kiss during interview’]. Either the babies-thing is some very twisted Hollywood inside joke, or maybe there’s more truth to it, because on the 24th of February 2019 at 10.45 PM Macaulay Culkin tweeted “Rami Malek eats babies. There I said it. 17

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#MackTweetsTheOscars”. But there are more A-list celebrities that seemingly have blown the lid off some similar dark practices. One thing before I start with this though: I know there are websites and people that vehemently try to debunk (which is another word for ‘damage control’, in case you didn’t figure this out yourself yet) all of this and I would be the last one to tell you to believe everything you read or hear. BUT, where there’s smoke, there’s fire. And there’s just way too much smoke. You have to keep in mind that one of the signs of ‘professional debunkers/trolls’ is that they usually play their defence by discrediting, ridiculing or gaslighting the person (or some other similar type of tactic) and won’t address the content of what’s being said. Which is pretty difficult in this case, since many other sources (such as survivors of Satanic Ritual Abuse and Mind Control, and people like David Icke and David Wilcock) are already screaming for years that the bloody place is on fire, but nobody seems to either listen, or care, or know what to do. So, in the meantime, it seems like ‘THEY’ are singing (‘all together now’):

“I’m the root of all that’s evil, yeah, but you can call me cookie. The roof, the roof, the roof is on fire. We don’t need no water, let the motherfuckers burn. Burn, motherfuckers, burn.” Fire, water, burn – Bloodhound Gang [The original is from ‘Rock Master Scott & The Dynamic Three’ and was released in 1984 (George Orwell anybody?)]

“Don’t want to hear about it. Every single one’s got a story to tell. Everyone knows about it. From the Queen of England to the [blood]Hounds of Hell. And if I catch it coming back my way, I’m gonna serve it to you. And that ain’t what you want to hear, but that’s what I’ll do.” [And. Here. We. Go.] Seven Nation Army – White Stripes [From Heath’s memorial service and Harley Quinn’s dress-up scene in Suicide Squad]

If anything, may all these people mentioned (and all others that kept quiet for way too long) speak up and openly and publicly tell the truth, so we know what to believe and what not. It’s not that difficult: get a freakin’ (phone)camera, film yourself, record your story and put it on Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, YouTube or whatever type of social media you can find. And if it gets taken offline for whatever fake excuse to justify taking away people’s right to freedom of speech (and TRUTH!), upload it again. And again. And again. And if that doesn’t work, I don’t know (wo)man, I guess you can also put it on a USB-stick, CD- rom, DVD, or whatever and send it out by pigeon. I’m quite sure you can come up with something. And to others: download it, upload it on your accounts, create new accounts if you get blocked, upload it again and again and again. Make sure you spread the word wide, far, and fast. Whatever you can do within the limits of PEACEFUL non-compliance and rebelicious non-conformity: DO IT! And do it NOW! Because the roof is on fire and the motherfuckers want to let us burn.

Jim Carey: “Hollywood eats whole babies for Christmas” www.jasperandsardine.wordpress.com/2018/12/13/jim-carrey-says-hollywood-elites-eat-whole- babies-for-christmas-the-more-they-suffer-the-better-they-taste: “Hollywood elites “eat whole babies for Christmas” according to Jim Carrey, who warns “dark forces” are “engaged in a battle for America’s soul”, and the outcome of this battle will have “long-lasting consequences for the entire world.” “These kids are fattened up for the Christmas table like geese and turkeys, except the animals don’t go through the ritual abuse, the psychological torment that these kids are forced to suffer.” “These people believe the more the child has suffered, the better it tastes. They believe the negative emotions coursing through the kids’ body, the adrenaline and hatred, will give them special powers. It’s a Hollywood thing influenced by old school Satanism.” Speaking at a post-screening Q&A for documentary ‘Jim & Andy: The Great Beyond’ in New York, Carrey said that Christmas and New Year are a time of year he dreads, because of the “dark energy pulsating around Tinsel Town” and his knowledge of “what goes on behind the closed doors of the elite at this time of year.” “Luciferians in Hollywood turn Christmas into the darkest festival of the year,” Carrey said, before explaining “there is a reason why people around the world feel a heaviness at this time of year.” “Institutional oppression and Satanism hang in the air while we are all forced to wear smiles and ignore the gut feeling that all is not well.” “Ever notice how all the homeless children you see throughout the year begin to disappear at Xmas? You think it’s because they’ve found a home, found shelter, found love and warmth?” “Christmas time is Satanic slaughter time. They are determined to pervert the most beautiful time of the year into a festival of suffering and blood.” […] “The entertainment industry is the PR and brainwashing branch of the New World Order, the globalist empire of Luciferianism.” Carrey said, warning. “There will be a strong push to normalize Satanism in 2018. Good old-fashioned devil worshipping.” For your information, the link to the original www.newspunch.com article was gone. Jim Carey also tweeted on Jun 19th 2018 at 12.04 PM, below (what looked like) a cartoon of Trump with the title ‘TRUMP The Art Of The Meal’: “If the Democrats would just stop the Mueller investigation, build a wall, declare me a God and pass a special law allowing me to marry my hot daughter, I wouldn’t have to devour these immigrant babies. It’s terrible what they’re doing. Obstructionists!”

“Mel Gibson: Hollywood is ‘Den Of Parasites’ Who ‘Feast On Blood Of Kids’ www.newspunch.com/mel-gibson-parasites-blood-kids/ (Nov 30th 2017): “Hollywood studios are “drenched in the blood of innocent children” according to Mel Gibson who claims the consumption of “baby blood is so popular in Hollywood that it basically operates as a currency of its own.” “Hollywood elites are an “enemy of mankind continually acting contrary to our best interests” and “breaking every God given taboo known to man, including the sanctity of children,” Mel Gibson said in London, where he is promoting his role in ‘Daddy’s Home 2’, his most prominent on-screen role in years. “It’s an open secret in Hollywood. These people have their own religious and spiritual teaching and their own social and moral frameworks. They have their sacred texts – they are sick, believe me – and they couldn’t be more at odds with what America stands for.” Mel Gibson appeared on the Graham Norton Show on the BBC on Friday, and he schooled shocked guests about the real nature of Hollywood elites in the green room backstage after his appearance. Explaining that he spent the last ten years, “working on my own ideas, outside of the Hollywood system” after being blacklisted by Hollywood in 2006 for sharing opinions about the industry and the world that run counter to liberal orthodoxy, Gibson said, “I don’t know how to break it to you gently… Hollywood is institutionalized paedophilia.” “They are using and abusing kids.” “They churn through a huge amount of kids every year. Their spiritual beliefs, if you can call them that, direct them to harvest the energy of the kids. They feast on this stuff and they thrive on it,” the Hacksaw Ridge director said. “What do I mean? This isn’t some kind of artistic abstraction. They harvest the blood of children. They eat their flesh. They believe this gives them life force. If the child was suffering in body and psyche before it died, they believe this gives them extra life force.” “There is a creative and loving force inside most of us that guides us through life. These people don’t have this. For them it’s the opposite.” According to Mel Gibson, who has spent 30 years in and out of the Hollywood system, the industry elites “thrive on pain, trauma, stress, abuse and suffering.” “Hollywood is drenched in the blood of innocent children. For a long time, all the references to paedophilia and cannibalism were symbolic or allusive. But I was personally introduced to the practice in the early 2000s. I can talk about this now because these people, the execs, they’re dead now.” “The blood of a sexually abused infant is considered highly ‘enriched’ and is highly prized. The money changing hands, the favours, the kickbacks – you have no idea. Babies are a high-functioning currency all of their own. Babies are their premium brand of high-grade caviar cocaine diamond steak.” But according to Gibson this isn’t a flavour-of-the-month perversion, popular among men and women who have grown bored of standard issues sins. “This isn’t anything new. If you do some research you will see it’s a metaphysical, alchemical phenomenon and you can find it behind the scenes in all the dark eras in history.” “It’s a dark, multidimensional occult art and practice, used by secret societies in the last few hundred years for social programming and mind control, and raised to a zenith by Hollywood in America in our era.”

Mel Gibson was Heath’s mentor and co-star in ‘The Patriot’ and Heath and Trevor flying back to Australia on Mel’s private airplane was “Definitely a moment” (Trevor DiCarlo in I AM Heath Ledger). Mel also made a movie called ‘Conspiracy Theory’, in which the (spoiler alert!) theory turned out to be

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A Skateboard Serenade (.com) 7. The Philosopher’s Stone reality. This is usually the case though, as all home-work doing people figure out sooner than later. Mel has been “digging ditches” (as he calls it himself on the Graham Norton Show) for quite some years, after being spit out by Hollywood for saying stuff he shouldn’t have, according to some people in power. You know, “If you can’t get the message, get the man” and like I mention in another part of this book: this exactly happens to be one of the major characteristics of (professional) debunkers (or ‘damage controllers’) and/or trolls. Mel was in the news for drunk driving, antisemitism and also molesting his girlfriend and even though I don’t try to justify obvious wrongs, I do wonder how much of that was manipulated or exaggerated. Since I have my own DUI in France, albeit on a scooter and only because Michael decided to make the well-being of his scooter his priority above anything else and I was too meek to keep on insisting on taking a cab, I know first-hand how good people can make bad mistakes, due to stupid decisions under special circumstances. Therefore, I can also tell you that this can actually be seen as a plus and pro and something positive, because the experience of being treated like a criminal and spending a stressful night in a cold cell that is drenched in old pee, on a hard bed without a pillow or blanket, is so horrible that the average person would do anything to avoid that from ever happening again. I mean, I even had to give them my bra and shoelaces. And you can double the horribleness of that humiliating experience if you have to go through it full view of the public eye. As if you never had an off-day, ey?

In an interview with Diane Sawyer, Mel talks about realms of good and evil, how it’s after you and how it usually comes in an enticing form and not with a sign that says ‘evil’. This is exactly the reason why I still have my doubts every now and then about The Story, but am comforted by the idea that ‘they’ don’t know or control what I write next to Icke’s claim that the Archons lack creativity (see ‘A fantastic guessipe’). Mel’s answer to the question “What was the force?” is: “It’s the thing you can’t see” and he also mentions that “The big, dark force didn’t want us to make this film”. In another interview he says: “Real super heroes, don’t wear spandex. And they don’t have a lot of 3D special effects, but they do operate on a higher level. On a supernatural level and they actually look and appeal to something greater than themselves and then they do something superhuman.” To the average zombie mind, this probably sounds like a lunatic speaking, but then again, those are exactly the people that didn’t do their homework and follow the mainstream herd as obedient and ignorant as they are conditioned to. Time’s up though… wakey, wakey!

Mel mentions that he was introduced to ‘the practice’ in early 2000, which happens to be exactly around the time The Patriot came out and Heath was his co-star. In the documentary ‘I AM Heath Ledger’ there are references to this period when we see Heath playing with his blond-haired and blue-eyed on- screen little sister and, after looking straight into the camera, he’s holding her arms in such a way that she’s totally powerless. There are also pictures of Heath hanging out with her in a chair together and I guess she must have been there as well when Heath treated all his on-screen brothers and sisters to an afternoon of bowling and food. That same girl (Skye McCole Bartusiak) was a very cute child star and she died at the very young age of 21 (which equals 777), on July 19th 2014, from an… wait for it… accidental drug overdose (“combined toxic effects of hydrocodone and difluoroethane with carisoprodol”) in the apartment behind her parent’s home, where her boyfriend found her sitting up in her bed. “Her mother said Skye “had been healthy and did not drink or do drugs”, but had recently been suffering from epileptic seizures; she believed that this fact had likely played a role in her daughter’s death.” [Source: Wikipedia]. Her last movie was called “Kill your darlings” and, despite not having seen it, it gives me goose bumps nevertheless. Her brother Stephen: “If you want to know what makes Skye happy, go out and plant a tree.”

In ‘I AM Heath Ledger’, there’s another snippet from his time on ‘The Patriot’ and we see its director, Roland Emmerich, being filmed (my guess would be: by Heath) while he walks through a forest and says “Hey guys, Heath’s here, everybody look alive?” I take that as a confirmation that Heath, indeed, sees people rather alive than dead, contrary to some Hollywood creeps who also sometimes like necrophilia (and use MK-slaves to get off on it). But, off course, Heath preferring life over death is only logical, because he is my twin soul and this book is his doing as much as it is mine, although, truth is true, I happen to be the one writing it (in physical terms) and not Heath. It’s very simple: according to ‘as above, so below’ and ‘the highest in the lowest’, for obvious reasons, I can’t give my power away, even if I wouldn’t mind doing so. Call me paranoid, I don’t care, but in the end, I only trust myself, which, coincidentally, also happens to be the place where Wisdom tells me to find Truth. Basically, if I make my decisions dependent of external circumstances, sources or people, I can be manipulated. Since the conscious mind is able to make up very plausible excuses for something that is not its own (like in the negative scenario of hypnotic manipulation for example) you never can tell for 100% sure where your motivation is coming from. Unfortunately. So, in the end, I guess the main thing to go on is Life and Love; which, for me, happens to come together in Heath. Truth is true: he truly represents my Everything.

Keanu Reeves – “Keanu warns that the elite of Hollywood drinks blood from babies.” www.theweeklyobserver.com/keanu-reeves-warns-elite-hollywood- drinks-blood-babies/28824/ (Nov 21st 2017): “These people believe that the more innocent the child and the more he suffered before he died, the higher they reach.” “The revelations that come out of Hollywood now, I tell you, are just the tip of the iceberg.” Said Keanu Reeves in Milan, Italy, where he presented three motorcycles, he designed for a company he founded in 2007.” … “Children are respected, placed in prominence, but also tortured, raped, murdered and consumed in a variety of ways. It is a source of money. And it is sad to say that this practice seems to be coming more open to these circles in recent years.” “Keanu Reeves, whose younger sister suffers from leukaemia, think it’s “unthinkable” that anyone can be so selfish as to ruin a young person’s life for his personal pleasure. “But that’s the kind of person who runs Hollywood,” said Reeves, who gave 70% of his earnings from The Matrix trilogy to hospitals treating children with cancer. “These people are sociopaths, clean and simple.” The same article mentions something, I find, interesting, and don’t want to withhold from you, since it shows how Life works (and how you can become an active part of it): “Bill [William] Schnoebelen has lived on the dark side for many years. He was a 90th degree Mason, member of the Illuminati, a Satanic Priest, a Catholic priest and even more. Then one day his monthly contribution to the Church of Satan returned from the bank with a note in the back “I will pray for you in the name of Jesus Christ.” Within a week he lost his demonic power. Later he was born again as Christian and now has his own priesthood. Bill has been working in a ministry, mostly full-time, since 1986.”

Elijah Wood: On www.thetimes.co.uk an article was published on May 22nd 2016 with the title ‘Hollywoods’ evil secret’ and the introduction read: “Oliver Thring met Elijah Wood to talk about his latest film, but the Lord of the Rings star and former child actor had other ideas. Out poured revelations about convicted paedophiles working openly in Hollywood – and deep relief that he had escaped unscathed.”

Nicole Kidman: www.newspunch.com/nicole-kidman-kubrick-pedophiles/: “Stanley Kubric claimed that “the world is run by pedophiles”, according to Nicole Kidman, who says the reclusive director taught her “how the world works and who is really in control behind the scenes” while filming Eyes Wide Shut. […] “He studied secret societies his whole life, he was fascinated by them, and he said the elite, the top secret societies, they are full of men with a certain predilection. They are tied together, sort of bonded, by pedophilia.” “They all know each other’s dark secrets. There is no way out for any of them. It’s a lifetime bond. Even if one of them wanted to go straight, repent, so to speak, he can’t. His peers will bring him down. They are in until death, driving the world to ruin. That’s kind of how Stanley explained it, but it was all very complex. I’m probably not doing it justice.” So, in order to make it stop, in my opinion, we need a clean slate, so they can stop.

Justin Bieber: on www.jasperandsardine.wordpress.com there’s an article from December 10th 2018 with the title: ‘Newly Christian Justin Bieber Claims His Unborn Child Was Killed By ‘Evil Music Industry’, some excerpts: “Justin Bieber told hundreds of people at a Bible study class in Los Angeles that Hollywood elites killed his unborn child and destroyed the relationship he had with the child’s mother: Selena Gomez, as a way of punishing him.” “They tried to destroy

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A Skateboard Serenade (.com) 7. The Philosopher’s Stone me with alcohol and when that didn’t work they tried with drugs. All different kinds. Then when that didn’t work they tried to destroy me with ambition. I was interested at first, but when I realized what the price of admission is in that world, I had to quit.” “Selena and I were expecting. It was early days and we hadn’t told anyone. At the same time I was being courted by some really powerful people, the most powerful people in Hollywood.” Describing a top secret party attended by record industry executives, Bieber said he was shown into a back room where a group of men wearing masks were sitting around the edge of the room, drinking from cups. In the center of the room a dead child was sitting cross legged, propped up against the back of a chair. It looked like a late- state fetus and was completely drained of blood. “The baby’s entire scalp wasn’t there. Its skull had been stripped down to the surface of the bone. Portions of the right side of its undeveloped little face had been tor away. You could see bite marks and bruises all over its tiny body.” “They were wearing animal masks, sitting around drinking what they called ‘red wine’. They offered me some. It was obvious that it was really important for them that I got involved.” “I literally gagged at this point. One of them boasted the baby had been alive for eight hours after they started cutting it and draining its blood.” “When he described the pain the baby went through, he seemed pleased with himself.” The horrific death described by Bieber to his congregation is called ‘exsanguination’, otherwise known as completely draining a person of blood. The practice is popular among drinkers of baby blood who consume what they call ‘red wine’ in order to get high on the adrenaline, young hormones and negative energy they believe is found in the blood of children. They believe the more a child suffers before its death, the more ‘enriched’ its blood will be upon harvest. Often the child is physically and sexually absusd before it is killed in order to create the necessary trauma. Bieber refused to drink the blood and that is when ‘everything started going wrong’. ‘They threatened me. They said they knew Selena was pregnant. They asked if I wanted my baby to end up like the one in the center of the room.” “This completely flipped me out and I lost my way for a long time. I went off the rails” said Bieber, fighting back tears. “They murdered my unborn child. Me and Selena… we were driven apart by these people and the trauma.”

Brad Pitt in an article from August 14th 2017 on www.lesmoutonsrebelles.com/brad-pitt-lelite-pedophile-dhollywood-controle-lamerique (translated from French – gotta love internet): ‘Hollywood elite controls US’ “Pitt describes how the entire film and television industry revolves around a culture of child sexual abuse for the purposes of child trafficking networks that cover the United States and beyond. This industry covers both the upper echelons of the political spectrum and the hierarchy of society: “You think Hollywood is making movies? It’s just a by-product: it’s about making money, and more importantly, it’s about power and control.” “The people who run Hollywood, they also run America and most of the world, and they don’t care about the movies.” “Have you heard of the Illuminati? The secret societies, the politicians, the bankers and the media – they run these paedophile networks, and they run the world and all the money goes to Hollywood.” “The kids want to go to the movies, or rather, I must say, the parents want their kids to go to the movies, and they’ll do anything to make them famous.” When asked why Hollywood was targeted by the elite globalist networks, he says: “It’s the parents. It’s the American dream to be famous and the parents will do anything to make it happen.” “Have you ever met the mother of a child actor? They’re crazy. “They’re easy targets, and they’re not just movies, television, music… it’s a showbiz.” “Parents essentially sell their children for fame.” Pitt goes on to explain the motivation behind Elite trafficking and how children play roles to influence other children to get into the game and push the elite agenda. He describes how children are used as political currency while parents turn a blind eye to the how that their offspring will be the Next Top box-office star: “One of those [elites] buys a movie. A thousand children show up for the lead role. A hundred of them could probably work. A young child with an insulting mum shows up who will do anything to get the game.” “The child is sent to a guy who runs a television network. The network pushes the movie, and the first guy makes a lot of money when it’s a hit” “The TV guy will never say anything bad about the movie because the movie guy knows what the TV guy did with that young kid.” “The same thing happens with politicians and bankers and others.” “These are all agreements with children as a bargaining chip.” When asked who these “Hollywood actors” are, Pitt hesitated to name them, saying “I’m a good place to go for a free and easy trial.” But he said he was convinced that these high- level child molestors would soon see justice: “The mainstream media will never expose the truth because they are part of it. It is the independent media that will expose this.” “The internet is a wonderful thing and the free flow of information will reveal everything.” “They lose their grip on the American people, and on people everywhere, and they know it.” “It’s just a matter of time before all is revealed.” Brad Pitt had a tumultuous history with secret societies, after a video leaked from his ex-wife Angelina Jolie, in which she discussed Hollywood illuminati rituals went viral. Pitt responded to the video by saying that he was ‘disgusted’ by the revelations.”

Lindsay Lohan (yes, that’s the same girl that Busy Philipps felt compelled to ridicule in one of her Instagram videos – read on and you’ll have a hunch why this might have been), in the same article as above on www.lesmoutonsrebelles.com (again, translated from French): “Heath ledger was murdered according to Lindsay Lohan, who said that the “Bad Boy From Hollywood” became a problem for “paedophiles at the top of The Hollywood pyramid” after his performance as The Joker in The Dark Knight propelled him to superstar status. “THEY COULDN’T TRUST HIM ANYMORE. THEY KNEW HE HAD A BIG MOUTH AND BIG BALLS. HE LIKED TO ROCK THE BOAT.” [not MY emphasis] said Lohan. “He knew a lot of industry secrets and he wasn’t afraid to talk.” Lindsay Lohan caught the worlds’ attention this week after a tweet, in which she defended President Trump and his family, quickly became viral. The London-based actress was asked about her tweet asking people to stop President Trump’s harassment, but Lohan, speaking in her new ‘international accent’, instead began to shed light on Heath Ledger’s death in 2007 [typing error, probably, since the 7 is just next to the 8]. “It wasn’t suicide. It wasn’t an accidental overdose. Everyone in the industry knows the truth. He’s been eliminated. He was killed as an example for the rest of us to shut up and stay ‘on the line’. “He was one of the bad boys in Hollywood.” The former child star, Lindsay, was close to Ledger the year before his death, spending time with the Australian actor in his Manhattan apartment between shots. Describing Ledger as ‘a player, a troublemaker, a kind of dark horse’, Lindsay Lohan said: “We agreed that anyone with a soul cannot exist in Hollywood. You have to get through this. You have to find a way out or you’ll be eaten from the inside.” “Heath cared about action, he cared about art and cultural heritage. He was disgusted and so disappointed by what Hollywood really is. He was so repulsed by the greed for money and power. Paedophiles and their networks.” “He was on his own. He liked explosions. He wanted to blow up all that Hollywood shit.” “Among the qualities that attracted me to Heath was transparency, which was illusory, of course, and his equally illusory sense of being almost immortal.” Following the recent police raid and arrests related to paedophilia in California, prosecutors warn that this is ‘the tip of the iceberg very rotten.’ Lohan’s claims about the dark side of Hollywood are not surprising. The adherence of the rotting Hollywood elite to the actors working in the system becomes the subject of legend. Speaking of her peers, actors and actresses in Hollywood, Lohan said: “We all know that if you want to make sure journalists don’t report anything you say at a press conference, you just have to start talking about how Hollywood is run by perverts and paedophiles. The oligarchs who run your media companies will not write a word about it.” Ledger died on January 22nd, 2008 from what the New York office of the Chief Medical Officer of Health called “accidental prescription drug intoxication”, just months after finishing filming his performance as a Joker in the Dark Knight. While the prescription drugs found in the Ledger system were all well-known prescription drugs, the deadly combination of drugs would never be prescribed by a doctor.”

A few things concerning Lindsay and her links to Heath: in a 2008 phone conversation that RadarOnline managed to get its hands on, Lindsay’s mum, Dina Lohan, told her father Michael that Lindsay was dating Heath when he died. He seems to have been quite busy in the few months after his break-up from madame Williams, our matey Ledger. I mean, this would probably make Lindsay number gazillion, because also Gemma Ward was supposed to be dating him, as was Mary-Kate Olson, as was a girl he ‘picked up’ via his assistant Nathan in the Beatriz Inn and apparently Helena Christensen was on her way to his apartment when she heard about the news of his death, although she said they were only friends. And these are only the women that we know of. As a comparison: I can count the guys I had sex with in 42 years on two hands and still have 3 fingers left (for obvious reasons I didn’t count Salee Eden). But hey,

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A Skateboard Serenade (.com) 7. The Philosopher’s Stone maybe Giacomo Ledger was just completely devoting himself to the perfection of experience in order to be able to take great pride in the longevity and consistency of his love. I mean, what do I know?

During one of Lindsay’s rehab stints, apparently, she had two write up a list of former lovers, which got out into the media and one of the people on that list was Heath. At some point also excerpts from her diary appeared in the media in which she called him the love of her life and also referred somewhere to Matilda as ‘Maddy’, indeed indicating a certain level of closeness to the father of Busy Philipps’ god-daughter and Michelle Williams’ daughter. From www.dailymail.co.uk./tvshowbiz/article-2071206/Lindsay-Lohans-private-diary-details-surprise-relationship-Heath-Ledger.html “‘Today Heath died,’ Lindsay wrote on January 22. ‘I’m in love with him… He was the love of my life.’ ‘He taught me so much, and he was everything I’ve ever wanted and more. I want to hear him laugh and hold me. I crave his touch and care,’ she added.” “When a person dies the world stops. I’m numb,’ she wrote in the diary. ‘There’s an emptiness. And a desire to feel loved.’ ‘A need to be held in the arms of someone who understands. But what do you do when the one who understands is gone?’ ‘It’s like a game of Jenga, and when one piece slips, it all falls apart’, she wrote. ‘One pill, one slip and it goes down the slope, crashes and burns and it’s over. Why? I ask myself over and over. Cry is all I can do.’ She added in an entry date January 31: ‘Heath is a prime example of what this industry can do to someone.’ ‘It craves to see someone fail. It brings enjoyment to us to watch one die. The tragedy and cravings for it can kill. And will.’“

Lindsay experienced the ins and outs of Hollywood directly, having been a child star herself. Some very disturbing pictures indicate her own links with darkness, such as the macabre and disturbing ‘blood, guns and sexy underwear’ photoshoots with Tyler Shields and professional creep Terry Richardson (who also seems to know his way around Chateau Marmont, by the way). There’s also a picture of Lindsay lying seductively on a bed with a bunch of men around, who all seem to be busy untying their pants. In an article on www.eonline.com, with the title “Lindsay Lohan’s gunplay in the name of art” (April 29th 2010) we read: “It’s not softcore porn, hunny, it’s called ART.” That’s how Lindsay Lohan describes her recent photo shoot where’s she’s covered in blood and a bra, holding a gun to her head.” Her comments about Heath being a player don’t match with his following quote though: “I take great pride in the consistency and longevity of my love”. On the contrary, it does matches with the notorious womanizer he played in one of his movies, that was filmed just after he finished filming the ‘torturous at times’ (something I personally find very understandable) Brokeback Mountain, so he could “unwind”.

Casanova: “Casanova, the philosopher? Who devotes his life to the perfection of experience? Yes, I know him.” Francesca: “No, Casanova the libertine who devotes his life to the seduction of women.” Casanova: “We’re obviously talking about the same person.” Francesca: “There must be something deeply wrong with a man like that, don’t you think? Maybe there’s something missing in his life. I don’t know, true love perhaps.” Casanova: “All love is true in different ways. To say ‘I love falsely’ is as self-contradictory as to say ‘I believe falsely’. Francesca: “Ah, you are a philosopher too.” Casanova: “Well, I’ve spent countless hours alone with Casanova, pondering the ways of love and how it makes us at one with the angels.” Francesca: “And with the beasts. I will not debate with you if you take the side of a man whose idea of love demands a female sacrifice every day. Not that I have much sympathy for women who no better themselves than to be one of his play things. You tell your friend for me that what he imagines to be love is in fact self-love. And self-love is self-doubt.” Casanova: “Well said.” Francesca: “Yes, by the philosopher Bernardo Guardi. You should read him Senor Salvato.” Casanova: “Clearly.” Francesca: “Give me a man who is man enough to give himself just to the woman who is worth him. If that woman would be me, I would love him alone. And forever.” Casanova

“Oh night, thou was my guide. Oh night, more loving than the rising sun. Oh night, that joined the lover to the beloved one, transforming each of them into the other.” Dark night of the soul – Loreena McKennit [Song from Heath’s ROAR series, Episode 13: ‘Sweet Bridget’]

69 I think besides the Yin Yang having multiple layers (a lower, a middle and a higher one), it is supposed to turn, making it an infinite dance between day/light/sun and dark/(k)night/moon: One becoming the other and The Other becoming The One – eternally rotating in, as and through our planet Earth. As you can see on www.evolveconsciousness.org the inner circle of the philosopher’s stone can be depicted as a Yin Yang. In numbers, the Yin Yang is represented by the number 69, which is why Heath left Perth on his “walkabout” to go out and “conquer the world” with ‘only’ 69 cents in his pocket. But guess what most people think about with the number 69? Indeed. Oral sex. Something similar happened with the swastika, that used to be known as a symbol of divinity and spirituality in ‘Eastern’ religions, such as Hinduism and Buddhism, until the Nazi’s worked their magic. This time ‘they’ didn’t take the symbol itself though, but took its equivalent in numbers to change its meaning, which, from a metaphorical perspective, comes down to the same thing. Hi Satan, Moloch or whatever you call yourself these days.

“My ambition is all in my head. I’m on a fucking [well, that turned out to be quite the understatement] journey. I’m on a walkabout. It’s about collecting wisdom of emotions and heart and self and understanding. Being absolutely comfortable with your body and life and the earth, sun and moon being the only truths. That’s what my success is, getting underneath that.” Heath Ledger Circles The Philosopher’s Stone talks twice about circles, as the first and last step and by doing so the process itself also represents a circle. The Sun, Moon, Earth and all other planets are (3-dimensional) circles and also clocks are circular and as such, time as well. Time, as in: Chronos, as in: Saturn, as in: Satan.

Allow me a little brainstorm: 1 hour equals 60 minutes and since one round of the clock is 360° (= 9 in numerology) and represents 12 hours (the little leg), 1 hour of 60 minutes represents (360° : 12) = 30° (6o minutes + 30° = hey 9, in numerology). The number 12 in tarot is represented by The Hanged Man and represents 3 in numerology, since 1+2=3. Heath was a hanged man (hey) 3 times in his career; in The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus, Casanova and The Dark Knight, which (in some crazy perspective) means that he was a hanged man (as was Shemyaza in Orion, The Hunter – see A Fantastic Guessipe) for a full circle of time, which metaphorically could be interpreted as ‘eternity’, but also ‘half of eternity’. The latter is because 12 hours, or half a day, either represents light (day) or dark (night). A full day (so, light + dark) takes up two rounds of the little leg of the clock and equals 2 x 360° = 720°, which also equals 9 in numerology; what a surprise. Not. If you take one day to be a full circle (which is how we generally perceive it in Matrix terms), half a day would equal 180°, which means that light and darkness, seen from a metaphorical and numerology perspective, both equal 18, which is 666. Hmmm…. did I already tell you that I think we’re living in hell?

Also, what I’m suddenly thinking: 0.00 – 12.00 means, roughly, 6 hours of darkness and 6 hours of light. While 12.00 – 24.00 equals, equally roughly, 6 hours of light and 6 hours of darkness. This perspective, per one round of the clock (full circle) makes light and darkness each equal 6 hours (totalling 12). Remember that the number 6 is a 9, but then reversed. In ‘real life’ evening sets at 6pm and 6am is considered morning, making darkness and light each play itself out between 6 and 6, which, again, leads back to 12: the hanged man. For what it’s worth. Also, the sun rises in the East and sets in the West, making a 180° transition between light and darkness, where 180° equals 18 in numerology, which makes 1+8=9, or gives 18 as 666.

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A Skateboard Serenade (.com) 7. The Philosopher’s Stone

So, one full day of 24 hours is 2 rounds of 360° and gives 720°, which is 72, which is the number of conspirators it took Set to kill off Osiris in mythology, the number of hours it took Jesus, as well as Inanna, to rise up from death and it’s also the number of degrees between each point of every pentagram. The planet Venus is represented by a pentagram. From ‘A fantastic guessipe’: “Not sure if the Devil is schizophrenic, but he goes by multiple names (as does God, by the way), including Moloch, Baal and Lucifer, from which the latter means ‘light bearer’, represents ‘illumination’ and is linked with the morning star, which is also called Venus (that is represented by, hey, a pentagram)”. Two rounds of the clock equal a total of 24 hours, which happens to be 6 in numerology, since 2+4=6. 24 hours (so 1 full day) times 60 minutes gives a total of 1440 minutes, which equals 144 in numerology terms (totalling, hey, 9). 144 is a very significant number and directly related to Venus again (see ‘A fantastic guessipe’ for more info). So, 12 hours equals 3 and 24 hours equals 6, in numerology terms, which is a duh, I admit. But, lo’ and behold, those two numbers added up, the 3 (of 12 hours) and 6 (of 24 hours), makes 9 again, where 12 hours + 24 hours = 36, which also gives 9. Bingo for Nicola Tesla (read on and you’ll soon understand why I say this). Now we also understand why the bell rings 9 times before every Satanic ritual (as I learnt from the book ‘Satan’s High Priest’ by Judith Spencer). So, in some weird way, one full day isn’t 24, but 36 hours and if you take half a day (so light as well as dark) it’s 18, which equals, again, 666 (so, in degrees as well as in hours). Hmmm… did I already tell you I think we’re living in hell?

If I look at these same ‘Tesla-numbers’ 3, 6 and 9, again, but from a different perspective, I come up with the following: 3.00 hrs = 15.00 hrs (1+5=6 in numerology), 6.00 hrs = 18.00 hrs (1+8=9 in numerology and/or 666) and 9.00 hrs = 21.00 hrs (1+2=3 in numerology and/or 777 – Aleister Crowley’s magical number). So, basically, 3 (or 111) is 6 at the same time; 6 (or 222) is 9 at the same time; and 9 (333) is 3 at the same time again; which represents a circle between the Tesla numbers, during day and night, ad infinitum. For me, this represents the fact that there’s (from a Tesla 369 number perspective) only one moment: the now. Interesting. And if we ad up the 111 (3), 222 (6) and 333 (9) we get, exactly, 666 (18 – which is 6pm, the time when it’s supposed to get dark).

Pfff… So, a full circle is 360° and half a circle is 180° (half, as in: dual), which is, still, 18, seen from a numerology perspective. Like I said: the number 18 is 2x9 or 3x6, from which the latter can be written as 666; the number of The Beast, in case you missed it the previous times that I told you. Consequently, also 2x9 represents 666 (which totally makes sense because 2x9=18) if you write 9 as 333, since 333+333=666.

If you turn 180°, you are facing the opposite side of where you were looking before, as in: you are reversed and, not very surprisingly, Satanism is all about reversal. Both 360 and 180 represent the number 9 in numerology (3+6=9 and 1+8=9): which is the number of Saturn/Satan, as you will soon learn. This continues ad infinitum; no matter how you bisect a circle, the final outcome of the resulting angle is always 9 (360° - 180° - 90° - 45° - 22.5° - 11.25° - 5.625° (total sum of 18 and 1+8=9) - 2.8125° (idem ditto)- 1.40625° (idem ditto) etc.) The thing that I find very fascinating is that the smaller the parts or sections, the more it becomes a singularity from the centre. A singularity, as in: ONE, as in: ‘All is One’.

As it turns out, it’s exactly the opposite in vortex-based mathematics: if you take a circle and add regular, or ‘convex’, polygons (not self-intersecting, ‘plane figures bounded by a chain of segments and closing in a loop’), their vectors communicate an outward divergence, thereby creating a vacuum. How interesting: this is the opposite of a singularity! For example: the 3 corners of a triangle are each 60°, making the total sum of its corners: 3x60°=180° and 1+8=9. The 4 vectors of a square are each 90°, making the total sum 4x90°=360° and 3+6=9. A regular pentagon has 5 corners of each 108°, making the total sum 5x108°=540° and 5+4=9 etc. If you combine these two things (the circle bisections and convex polygons within a circle), it turns out that the number 9 reveals a linear duality, where it represents both the singularity and the vacuum. This means that the number 9 represents EVERY-THING and NO-THING at the same time!!! I find that ‘WOW’. [Source: Gary Lite, YouTube: “The secret behind number 369 Tesla Code is finally revealed”] Very interestingly, the movie ‘The Nines’, is all about creating different realities, which reminds me, by the way, that my birthday is coming up in 3 days, on May 9th, which makes today the 6th. If I would be Ace Ventura I would be screaming on top of my lungs while opening and closing a balcony door right now.

“I never forget the look on my father’s face as he gathered me up in his arms and raced through the burning building out lawn to the pavement. I stood there shivering in my pyjamas and watched the whole world go up in flames. And when it was over, I said to myself: “Is that all there is to a fire? Is that all there is?” The Nines [Obviously this is not my birthday wish]

“When anything is blocking my head or there’s worry in my life, I just go sit on Mars or something and look back here at Earth. All you can see is this tiny speck. You don’t see the fear. You don’t see the pain. You don’t see thought. Then nothing really matters. It just doesn’t.” Heath Ledger

2. Then a quadrangle The square around the Yin Yang (Heath and myself) represents the Matrix; the illusionary (Maya, Veil of Isis) reality we’re living in and that The Story is exposing. Why? I tell you. NASA pictures from Saturn show a purplish, 2-dimensional square with the number 9 (sounds familiar?) inside, which is actually a 3-dimensional cube. Saturn is the planetary representation of ‘The Morning Star’, which, according to the bible, is another name for Satan – the LIGHT Bearer. The square also comes back in the Freemasonic ‘logo’, together with the compass and if you unfold a 3-dimensional cube, you get the cross from Jesus’ crucifixion.

Red and blue More: purple is a combination of the colours red and blue and it’s for this specific reason that there’s an overload of these colours in our society, like in politics and many national flags, but also in the Freemasonic red and blue lodge. In ‘The Matrix’-movies the red pill stands for knowledge and the blue pill for ignorance. So now Michael also knows why I didn’t eat the blue Tic-Tac candies that he gave me some weeks ago in a fake medicine bottle with ‘love, peace and unity’ on them and why they served as a huge, cosmic warning sign to me that staying with him would mean choosing for ‘ignorance’. Usually Tic- Tac candies are white, you see. (Yes, I’m crazy. At least, that’s what my dad says. My mum disagrees with him though, if that comforts you.) According to illuminati insider ‘Svali’, who wrote the book ‘Svali speaks’, The Matrix-movies are a direct representation of Illuminati philosophy. The makers of ‘The Matrix-trilogy’, the Wachowski-brothers-turned-sisters, are also the creators of the movies ‘Jupiter ascending’ and ‘Cloud Atlas’ and the Netflix series ‘Sense8’ and all of them are metaphorical representations of aspects or storylines within The Story. Insane, I know, but that doesn’t mean it can’t be true.

Tony: “Let’s dance.” They begin a slow dance. Valentina: “No name. Now no face. The mystery thickens. I’ll call you Saint George. You can rescue me from the dragon.” The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus

“We can dance, we can dance. Everybody’s taking a chance.” The Safety Dance – Sleeping at Last

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Fact is, The Book is there to enlighten (illuminate) the world, wake up ‘the forgotten Gods’ (book Ramtha – J.Z. Knight) and create heaven on earth. My conclusion is that there’s some sort of underground resistance movement in the Illuminati going on and that brave pioneers and modern heroes and heroines are even willing to risk their lives to change things around for the better. This is why the abbreviations in ‘MISE’ only stand for the worst-case- scenario of the words/names they represent (Mind control/Mafia, Illuminati, Satanism/Secret Societies, Elite).

“Only with careful hands we’ll turn their fangs into feathers and cures. Only with careful hands we’ll divide the prisoner from the pioneer.” Careful hands (Romeo & Juliet) – Sleeping at Last

This is also why Heath was looking for people he could trust [Source: Steve Alexander – I AM Heath Ledger Doc]. Just because most of us are cowards doesn’t mean someone else can’t be a hero, you know.

“Hiding here, hiding there. Find them underneath the stairs. People hiding everywhere, trying to be still like a stone.” Soldier – Gavin DeGraw

More red and blue: when I was in New York in December 2009 I saw that the wall above the elevator of 421 Broome Street, the apartment building where Heath died, is also red and blue. I’ll explain why this is important: symbolically/metaphorically seen, an elevator is a vertical transporter [Source: Buzz Lightyear – Toy Story] between up and down, high and low: high, cosmic, illuminated knowledge (red) and low, Matrix, ignorance (blue). For me, the huge question is: till what extend was Heath consciously aware of all these metaphorical representations and creations?

Steve: “How long have you been acting?” Heath: “21 years” [which equals 777] Steve: “How old are you?” Heath: “21” I AM Heath Ledger

To complicate this question even more, considering that he was such a high-profile celeb and combining this with many of his significant pictures and direct clues from the ‘I AM Heath Ledger’ documentary, for example, I think that he was a MK-slave (more about that another time though). This means that he most likely suffered from DID (Dissociative Identity Disorder), as in: amnesia. In Holland we say: ‘Het leven is geen krentebol’ (‘Life is not bread with raisins’), which means as much as: it’s complicated (especially if I remember that one former MK-slave refuses to eat raisins (for reasons she didn’t want to tell) and that bread translates as ‘Pan’ in Spanish). Through cognitive dissonance, I tried to block this obvious possibility for a very long time, but have to finally admit that it’s way more likely that he was an abused child and under mind control than that he wasn’t. Goddammit.

“The warmth of blankets makes me nervous; I’d rather catch a cold.” Bright and early – Sleeping at Last Cleaning UP Broome Street. A broom is the tool witches (magic – Aleister Crowley – 777) use to fly high; not magical people (called ‘muggles’ in Harry Potter) use it to clean the floor. From the ‘I AM Heath Ledger’ documentary we know that Heath was “gonna clean up” and his friend Matt Amato was quick to add that this means “make it in Hollywood”, but I don’t buy that. I think it might have meant that as well, but initially it was meant exactly as it sounds.

A floor is always the lowest point as in: down = blue, hence the expressions: ‘feeling blue’ and ‘having the blues’. Interestingly enough, my father is called Floor, my brother-in-law’s name is Floor and also my little niece is called Floortje; maybe because all good things are supposed to come in 3. In general, though: how much time do we spend sweeping floors, only to find 5 minutes later that they’re dirty again? And if you have children, make that 5 seconds (or less). We could waste time sweeping floors ‘ad infinitum’, which can be seen as a metaphor for the masses’ Matrix life as slaves: ants and worker bees, living in ignorance (blue) and wasting their time away with useless activities and priorities. This is pictured perfectly in the movie ‘KAOS’. Heath always said his KAOS-tattoo stood for the initials of the girls in his family: his (half)sisters Kate, Ashley, Olivia and his mum Sally. I think it also stood for this significant movie in the same way that he said his ‘OLD MAN RIVER’ tattoo had different meanings at different times (Just wondering: does anybody know if Michelle wrote this specific tattoo exactly on top of Heath’s vein? Because for some odd reason I have the feeling she did. Now why would that be, ey? Go figure). Especially because the KAOS-movie deals with the (full) moon and madness.

“I’m an agent of chaos. And there’s one thing about chaos: it’s fair.” The Joker

How did I find out about this KAOS-movie? Coincidence threw it in my lap at Leiden Central Station. Leiden in Dutch means ‘to lead’ and is pronounced exactly the same way as ‘lijden’, which means ‘to suffer’. Please don’t tell me I’m the only one that sees the metaphorical significance and synchronicity of this. For your information: the moon LIGHTS up the night (DARKness) and is represented by the number 18 in the tarot, which 3x6, or 666. It’s remarkable that in his 16 years acting career (16 is ‘The Tower’ in tarot; the one Heath protects on the picture of his chess game against David Bowie, for example), Heath made 18 movies [Source: Studio10 interview with Melissa Thomas]. The 18th letter of the alphabet is the ‘R’ and now you also know why one of ‘good girl gone bad’ Rihanna’s albums is called ‘R’ and why she loves the Satanic hand sign and Illuminati one eye symbolism. Interviewer Angie: “So why is your and over your eye?” Rihanna: “Because I’m a devil worshipper, what are you talking about?” Ex-soldier Rihanna can say whatever, but if it looks like a rat and acts like a rat, to me, it is a rat. BUT, since not everything is as black and white as it may initially seem: “Her childhood was deeply affected by her father’s alcoholism and crack cocaine addiction, which contributed to her parent’s strain marriage. As a child, Rihanna went through a lot of CT scans for the excruciating headaches she suffered: “[The doctors] even thought it was a tumor, because it was that intense.” (Source Wikipedia) Best worst-case scenario: the above. Worst worst-case scenario (or a variation on it): her father sold her out to pay for his alcohol and drug addiction and the headaches were caused by her MK-Ultra programming, including electroshocks (like for instance George Bush sr. caused similar kinds of excruciating headaches to Cathy O’Brien’s little girl Kelly by using electroshocks after he raped her so badly that she was bleeding from her rectum for days after, according to Cathy’s book ‘Tranceformation of America’). As part of this left-hand path, Rihanna became an army-cadet (as in: Delta programming/Manchurian Candidate) and her MK-background enabled her to become successful in the Illuminati reigned world of international entertainment. I know my mind is screwed up. But what is even more screwed up is that, IF you do your homework, it’s a valid (and even more so: very likely) possibility.

There are so many examples of ‘crashing’ celebrities that seem to be linked to deteriorating MK-Ultra programming (including suicides and very weird deaths; like Britanny Murphy and her husband Simon Monjack, Whitney Houston and her daughter, Amy Winehouse, Kurt Cobain, Jim Morrison (and other members of the so-called ’27-club’), Robin Williams, Nick Drake and lately also Keith Flint from The Prodigy etc. etc. – do you have a couple of days?) and one only has to think about Britney Spears, Lindsay Lohan, Amanda Bynes, Shia Laboeuf and Maculay Culkin to know exactly what I’m talking about. Unfortunately. But if you want to see some ‘less obvious’ examples: type in ‘MK glitch’ on YouTube. Now you know why Heath might have felt it necessary to clean up. Interestingly enough, from Heath’s friends in ‘I AM Heath Ledger’ we know that he was very interested in this 27-club people and that he told family and friends that he felt like ‘he didn’t have a lot of time’, ‘was not gonna be very old’ and that ‘he had to get things done now’.

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A Skateboard Serenade (.com) 7. The Philosopher’s Stone

Saturn’s strings The lyrics of ALL (100+) ‘Sleeping at Last’ songs are directly applicable to The Story between Heath and myself, even up to the point that I became convinced that Heath wrote ‘all’ the lyrics. From his best friend Trevor DiCarlo we know that Heath was exceptionally good in everything, including poetry and that “music was definitely something that was in him”. The soul-stirring song that brought me into contact with ‘Sleeping at Last’ is ‘Saturn’, since it was used by ‘TheDoorMouseTeapot’ (The name says it all. Hint: Alice in Wonderland and The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus)

“Sally called when she got the word. She said: “I suppose you’ve heard – about Alice. Well I rushed to the window and I looked outside, but I could hardly believe my eyes. A big limousine rolled up into Alice’s drive… Oh I don’t know why she’s leaving or where she’s gonna go. I guess she got her reasons, but I just don’t want to know. ‘Cos for [hey] 24 years I’ve been living next door to Alice. Alice, who the fuck is Alice?” Smokie

“It’s funny how you just break down, when you know some sign. I pull up to the front of your drive way, with magic soak in my spine, can you read my mind?” Read my mind – The Killers to create the YouTube movie “Change the Stars (Heath Ledger, 10 years later)”. Say what you want, but this song ignites the far opposite of fear and, for me, managed to reverse (back!) the whole meaning of Saturn and changed it into something beautiful. According to the two books that Elisa E, MK-survivor, wrote though (“Our life beyond MK ULTRA”), the ‘evil side’ is an expert in manipulating through emotions and I can’t deny that this information did wake up the paranoid in me. Nevertheless, I decided to stop swimming against the current and give Life the benefit of the doubt. For once. The ‘Sleeping at Last’ (Heath had insomnia) songs are full of very significant lyrics and the melodies touch my heart like no other artist ever managed to do on such a consistent basis, especially because of the strings, like the cello and the violin, from which the latter is directly linked to Heath. His sister Kate: “He was annoyingly good at everything… His violin teacher said: “Please don’t let him give up on playing the violin.” Metaphorically these musical strings connect to the ‘String Theory’ from Quantum Physics. Why? Eh… because I say so

String theory Tak! Tak! “First, the overture. Yes… the strings. Listen carefully, can you hear it?” V – V for Vendetta

“In physics, string theory is a theoretical framework in which the point-like particles of particle physics are replaced by one-dimensional objects called strings. It describes how these strings propagate through space and interact with each other. On distance scales larger than the string scale, a string looks just like an ordinary particle, with its mass, charge and other properties determined by the vibrational state of the string. In string theory, one of the many vibrational states of the string corresponds to the graviton, a quantum mechanical particle that carries gravitational force. Thus string theory is a theory of quantum gravity. String theory is a broad and varied subject that attempts to address a number of deep questions of fundamental physics. String theory has been applied to a variety of problems in black holes physics, early universe cosmology, nuclear physics, and condensed matter physics, and it has stimulated a number of major developments in pure mathematics. Because string theory potentially provides a unified description of gravity and particle physics, it is a candidate for a theory of everything, a self-contained mathematical model that describes all fundamental forces and forms of matter.” [Source: Wikipedia – yes, I donated to them].

More 9 Heath is linked with Saturnism/Satanism through, for example, his ties with Freemasonry, Hollywood and pictured contact with Satanism-linked celebrities like David Bowie (“Oh you pretty things” [Aleister Crowley/777/magic] via the I AM Heath Ledger Spotify playlist), through his movies such as ’10 things I hate about you’, ‘A Knight’s Tale’, ‘The Order/The Sin Eater’, ‘Candy’, ‘I’m NOT there’ and ‘The Dark Knight’, but also, seemingly, through the picture that accompanies the death-bed confession of an Australian Satanist, Frater 616 [www.henrymakow.com/Australian_Satanist_exposes_wo.html]. Spaghetti-O. Just for random people’s information: in case the information, pictures, videos, interviews etc. I refer to are being taken offline, I already downloaded everything and gave it to multiple people, all over the world, who can put it back online or spread it out in alternative ways, in case something happens to me. I might be crazy, but I’m not stupid and, as it turns out, after all, I do plan-things. Obviously.

“Here I am, pry me open. What do you want to know? I’m just a kid who grew up scared enough to hold the door shut and bury my innocence. But here’s a map, here’s a shovel. Here’s my Achilles’ heel. I’m all in, palms out, I’m at your mercy now and I’m ready to begin. I am strong. I am strong. I am strong enough to let you in.” Eight – Sleeping at Last

Chaucer: “There she is, the embodiment of your love. Your Venus.” William: “And how I hate her!” A Knight’s Tale (Well, make the line, I guess)

Satan/Saturn is represented by the number 9 which is known to be the number of the cube and the reason why the bell rings 9 times before Satanic rituals [Source: Judith Spencer, ‘Satan’s High Priest’]. Multiplications of the number 9 always lead to itself from a numerology perspective: (9x1=9), (9x2=18 -> 1+8=9), (9x3=27 -> 2+7=9), (9x4=36 -> 3+6=9) ad infinitum, for example (9x241=2169 -> 2+1+6+9=18 -> 1+8=9), (9x9874=88866 -> 8+8+8+6+6= 36 -> 3+6=9), making it a closed circuit.

“If you knew the magnificence of the 3, 6 and 9, you would have the keys to the universe.” Nicola Tesla

And then there’s this pyramid shape with a 9 that can be formed, ad infinitum below, but with the 0 (The Fool in Tarot) on top. 0x9+1= 1 1x9+2=11 12x9+3=111 123x9+4=1111 1234x9+5=11111 12345x9+6=111111 123456x9+7=1111111

Furthermore, if you add any number to the number 9, it leads back to itself: (9+1=10 -> 1+0=1), (9+2=11 -> 1+1=2), (9+3=12 -> 1+2=3), (9+4=13 -> 1+3=4) etc. In both cases, when adding or multiplying with the number 9, the only exception on the rule is the number 0, since 9x0=0 (and not 9) and 9+0=9 (and not 0). This makes the number 0 our way out, hence: ‘The Fool’/The Joker, who is represented by the number 0 in tarot, or by the number 22. Two thumbs up for us! Yay! “I played the fool to fool the fool who thought he was fooling me.” THE Joker (Heath) (Pinterest) 24

A Skateboard Serenade (.com) 7. The Philosopher’s Stone

Twenty-two is a master number and 2x11. Eleven is my life number (birthdate: 9+5+1+9+7+7=38 -> 3+8=11) and represents TWIN souls, which explains right away why the evil super villains brought down the Twin Towers (and not the Empire State Building, for example), because it symbolises the twin soul’s destruction and tries to prevent them from saving the world. Did you know that another building collapsed that day? It was called Building 7 (The Chariot in the Tarot) and wasn’t hit by a plane. Didn’t I tell you that there is some underground resistance movement in the Illuminati going on? Pun intended (not my pun though): 911 is the national emergency line number in the U.S.A. and maybe represents Life telling it’s creations S.O.S. One more thing: the sum of all digits including and excluding 9 ends up in 9 as well. Without 9: 1+2+3+4+5+6+7+8=36 -> 3+6=9. With the 9: 1+2+3+4+5+6+7+8+9=45 -> 4+5=9. The number 9 is everywhere and in everything which is only logical because it represents Saturn/Satan and we’re living in hell.

“Snap back to reality, whoop, there goes gravity.” 8 mile - Eminem Jesus’ cross The Saturn/Satan cube happens to be worshipped by major religions, in different ways. Like I said before, the religious cross is Saturn/Satan’s cube unfolded. Think about what this means from a symbolical perspective: as the main symbol of Christian religion, Jesus is hanging on Satan’s cross everywhere; in churches, houses, tattoos, cars, necklaces etc. He’s hanging on the symbolical representation of his murderer and main ‘opponent’: (The D)evil. And since religious people are unaware of this and ‘energy flows where attention goes’, from an energetical point of view (everything is energy), they actually enforce (The D)evil’s murder of Jesus over and over again. Satan’s mocking religion in its face (again), because the people who are waiting for his return (as in: the 2nd coming) are, energetically seen, the ones that are preventing this from happening the most, by their devotion to the main symbol of his murder. Hmmm… I mean, if your daughter was raped on an inverted pentagram; would you hang a symbolical representation of that event in your living room, so you can be grateful for the fact that she survived the ordeal? Or do you think it would be more efficient to think of her being as happy as can be, visualise her making her dreams come true and let that example of her strength inspire you to change your own life around for the best? Just thinking out loud here.

For me, since it already happened anyway, I like to believe and think that Jesus indeed died for our sins. Besides for the obvious reasons (I’m no picknick myself, you see), because (despite the hijacked symbolism of his death) religious people did consciously, and with lots of emotion and focus, direct their attention and energy towards what the cross represents to them: Jesus dying for their sins. By doing that, they (as powerful creators) must have created and enforced that specific truth. But what I, personally, find way more important, is that Jesus managed to beat death (Saturn/Satan) after 3 days and, by doing so, made the impossible possible. For years I thought that Heath was dead and this specific miracle gave me hope that, despite it seemingly being impossible, maybe my dreams turned out to be possible nevertheless and which is, if he’s indeed still alive, the case. Since I promised to be completely open and honest and since the majority of contemporary zombies probably already think I’m crazy anyway (and I decided not to care about what others think of me anymore), I might as well tell one of the craziest things of all that has happened to me in the past couple of years.

Breathe in, breathe out. And here we go. So, in 2009 Heath comes in my life with his movie A Knight’s Tale, that I suddenly am able to interpret in a completely different perspective and in direct relationship with my own life, as if Jocelyn would be a metaphor for myself and William would really be Heath in some insane (but nevertheless, vaguely possible) way. Right? Right. OK. For your information, back then, for me, Heath was as dead as could be, because all the other puzzle pieces didn’t fall in place yet and everything was completely new to me. To cut a long story short, in that Parisian winter of December 2009 when Heath stole my heart, I had my first and only orgasm in my life, purely and exclusively based on the feeling of love (I might have used this mad experience as an inspiration for The Story, coming to think of it). My love for Heath, to be exact (God, I hate how groupie-ish that sounds). I have to say that the only thing I’m not 100% sure about is the time frame, but if I have to make a calculated guess, I’d say that right after, from the depths of my being, words welled up, that I found myself speaking out loud and with a certainty and authority that I didn’t consciously intended to. Those words were, oh my ganesha, “Heath Ledger, ik beveel je, sta op uit de dood.” Yes, that’s Dutch, and not English, French, German or Spanish, neither Chinese, and it means “Heath Ledger, I command you, rise up from the dead.” What can I say? The wind did it. Done. Just to make sure you understand; these words don’t necessarily have to relate to the physical reality as in ‘body’, but can also refer to a spiritual and cosmic reality, where the core of his being got compromised too much by darkness by ‘diving in too deep’ and ‘falling off the edge’. I mean, THE Joker was intended to represent an ‘absolute’… Since it’s in my own nature (already since childhood) to go over the boundaries with just a tiny step to see what will happen (as my parents can confirm), I imagine this might have been the case for Heath as well and maybe this was life’s way, within this material reality of ‘the matrix’, through the principles of ‘the highest in the lowest’ and ‘as above so below’, to pull him back. A seatbelt, if you will.

So, having gotten that off my chest, let’s continue where I left before this short intermezzo, because, interestingly enough, also this time Jesus is making some sort of come back in my life, in the form of a book that got dropped in my lap by a stranger in Colombia, some weeks ago. It’s called ‘Christ Returns’ and even though I’m quite careful with its contents (because of what ‘the Witch of Camaiore’ told me – see the chapter ‘Psychic Readings’), for as for as the 12% I’ve read it, according to my e-reader, there’s a lot of very interesting and seemingly valid information in there. To continue my honest confession tour;

“I’ll be here all week.” Chaucer – A Knight’s Tale

I think that ‘A Skateboard Serenade’ is the continuation of Jesus’ work in some odd way, and this has to do with the role that Jesus played in September 2007, during my ‘psychosis’, where I saw him as my twin brother and my name was Jana. Fred, my psychic (that’s different from psychotic or psychiatrist, in case you were wondering) mentor at that time, later told me that Jana sacrificed herself for humanity. Yep, I know, no need to tell me: completely cuckoo at best and horribly blasphemous at worst, but I promised to be honest and maybe I already died after a few days in the womb as a little ball of dividing cells. Can you tell? In the end, if this is true or not is not important though (and trust me, I’m not intending to put any more emphasis on this particular weirdness in my life by mentioning it ever again), because the good news is that now you know what you’re directing your energy to, you can consciously change your intention and energy flow. If it would be up to me, I’d say: take the good guy of that bloody cross and use his teachings of love and promises of potential (“These things and more you will do, you will move mountains.”) to integrate his Light within yourself and become like him, like he wanted you to and help him beat evil, by putting an end to suffering. Didn’t Jesus say that in order to enter the Kingdom of Heaven you have to become like the children again? Well, as it turns out, everybody knows that children believe in fairy tales.

“See if you can prevent the second coming.” A Knight’s Tale [This happens when Chaucer runs to William (Heath) to prevent him to ride against The Black Prince (Now who would that be, ey?) William refuses and rides anyway, causing a draw, as in: balance – in duality, causing The Black Prince to knight him later on so he could finish his tournament.]

From now on, every time you see a cross and you decided to “join our teaheam” (The Dark Knight), consciously redirect your energy and intention towards the opposite meaning of what the, by Satanism hijacked, religious cross secretly represents. See it for what it is and consciously focus on love, wisdom, peace and unity instead. Basically, choose to focus on what you do want and send out a conscious intention to create just that and actively stop supporting

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A Skateboard Serenade (.com) 7. The Philosopher’s Stone evil through peaceful non-compliance. Yes, I know you might want to be a super duper rebel and very tough and this all sounds like goat-wool socks and sandals stuff, but you go tell that far away child that is covered in blood, peed in his pants from fear and just saw his family members being slaughtered by some brainwashed human zombie (or a drone, for crying out loud) that focusing on love is not cool enough for you. OK?

From Heath’s movie ‘Two Hands’ there’s a picture of him with a religious cross tattoo on his left arm (the ‘left hand path’ represents Satanism, because Jesus is sitting on God’s right-hand side) and because of his fighting pose as a cosmic 007 (“Ledger… Heath Ledger.”), the cross is upside down. In Satanic black masses, the Christian cross is placed upside down (reversed) and in real life the meaning of the cross is hijacked (reversed) because people aren’t aware that it symbolizes Saturn, or (the D)evil. From a purely objective and cosmic point of view (where ‘All is G(o)od’ and ‘All is One’) you have to give Satan some credit here though. Come on, the guy is good. Seriously, look what a great job he did into fooling everybody big time in the most amazing way possible and if there wouldn’t be suffering and despair because of it, I might even be pissing in my pants as well. Fact is that only to the extent you fall down you can get back up, so we better get ready for a huge jump from rock bottom hell to sky high heaven level. And if you like it or not, truth is true, that immense jump is only possible because of (THE D)evil, which absolutely makes sense, because, since All is One and the Utmost Highest is Good (September 2007), Go(o)d is (the D)evil as well.

More: The Kaaba in Mekka and the ‘New Jerusalem’ are also represented by a cube and the circles that devotees walk around the former can be directly related to the rings of Saturn. Apparently, there’s even a cube in the United Nations prayer room, but since the UN is just another MISE, ‘war for peace’- machine, I’m not surprised and by now, neither should you. The Star of David, the symbol of the Jews, has in 3-dimensional form also a cube inside, and outside of it one can be formed as well, which is very convenient since Jews don’t believe in Jesus and therefore don’t worship the cross. In the Kabbalistic Tree of Life, as being used by the mystic branch of Judaism, two cubes can be formed where the ceiling of the lower one forms the floor of the higher one. In Jewish religion there’s another link with the black cube and it’s even worn on the forehead or arm by men during morning prayers: it’s called ‘Tefillin’ or ‘plylacteries’, which comes from the Greek word for protection. The Star of David is being composed of different triangles, from which the upper one represents the male principle and the lower one the female principle, just like the two pyramids outside of The Louvre museum in Paris. The triangles also represent the symbols for the four elements, where the upper triangle is fire and the lower one water. The upper triangle with a horizontal stripe through it (see the Star of David) represents air and the lower one with a similar stripe through it (again, see the Star of David) represents earth. So, the Star of David, with the cube inside and outside of it, represents the male and female principle plus the four elements. Think about what that means from a symbolical perspective for a bit and you get the picture faster than I can say: ‘MATRIX’. Even more so, some say that the Star of David represents the number 666 because of it’s 6 triangles, 6 sides and the 6 sides of the internal hexagon. It is indeed remarkable that the Star of David is so often used in different kinds of religions and secret societies, including Christianity, Hinduism and Islam, but also Freemasonry.

“Don’t shoot the messenger” Tony – The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus

Terry Gilliam: “One of the weirdest things was, Heath’s last spoken words on film were ‘Don’t shoot the messenger.’ Johnny [Depp] called me up and said, ‘You know, I’ve got an idea. Could I ad-lib something?’ I said, Sure. What are you going to ad-lib?’ ‘I want to say, “Don’t shoot the messenger.”’ Without knowing that Heath said that. I thought, What the fuck is this? Heath is still out there. Johnny’s channelling Heath somehow. I mean, Shirley MacLaine would love all this.” [Source: www.vanityfair.com/news/2009/08/heath-ledger200908] Just to be clear on this: I don’t have anything against any type of religion and everybody should do what makes them happy, as long as they don’t try to forcefully impose their ideas on other people, by ANY means, including deceitful manipulation tactics, psychological tricks and plain lies.

Fibonacci There’s something called the Fibonacci code (pay attention dudes and dudines, because this is important shit). Maybe you’ve heard of it already though, because the Fibonacci sequence goes under several names, amongst which ‘The Golden Ratio’, ‘The Golden Section’, ‘The Golden Number’, ‘Divine Proportion’ and ‘Phi’. “In ancient Greece they noticed that there was a common ration in nature that made things appealing to the eye. That ratio is 1:1.618 and this is what we call ‘The Golden Mean’.” This ratio can be seen as the blueprint of The Creator of our reality. The Fibonacci sequence is 1, 1, 2, 3, 5, 8, 13, 21, 34, 55, 89, 144, 233, 377 etc. where the sum of the last two digits forms the next number, ad infinitum. A Fibonacci spiral can be drawn by mapping out squares equal to the digits in Fibonacci’s code. You have to draw out each square before you can connect the corners in the, well-known, spiral pattern.

“This blueprint can be seen around us on a small scale every day, but the greatest example of all is directly above our heads. At an average of 100,000 light years across, even the spiral of the galaxies above us are formed with the exact design that a tiny shell is formed. This sequence or blueprint appears to be the trademark of a Designer, a proof of a Creator.” In botany, the structure of flowers is based on Fibonacci numbers: the lily has 3 petals, buttercups and violets have 5, the chicory has 21 and the daisy often 34 or 55 petals, for example. “Furthermore, when one observes the heads of sunflowers, one notices two series of curves, one winding in one sense and one in another; the number of spirals not being the same in each sense. Why is the number of spirals in general either 21 and 34, either 34 and 55, either 55 and 89, or 89 and 144? The same for pinecones: why do they have either 8 spirals from one side and 13 from the other, or either 5 spirals from one side and 8 from the other? Finally, why is the number of diagonals of a pineapple also 8 in one direction and 13 in the other?” [www.popmatch.org.uk/rpamaths/rpampages/sunflower.html] And from YouTube: ‘Fibonacci – Worlds’ most mysterious number’: “This phenomenon, not explained till 1993 appears to go beyond genetics and the natural dynamics of growth. Whether it is the spiral of consecutive seeds in a sunflower, the spiralled growth of a chambered nautilus (shell), or the branching structure of bronchi in the lungs, organic growth is often guided by mathematical ratios stemming from the Fibonacci series. As Fibonacci numbers increase, the portion of two successive numbers becomes more and more similar. The ratio approaches, but never reaches, an infinite decimal beginning with the numbers 1.618. This ratio was given the name ‘Divine Proportion’ and was later called the ‘Golden Mean’. Eventually, it was given the abbreviation Phi [Ø – link with Heaths’ forehead symbols in ‘The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus’], after the initial of the Greek sculpture Phidius, creator of the artwork on the Pantheon. As early as the Pythagorean school in 500 BC the Greeks studied the ratio of Phi and evolved a method of constructing a rectangle [!] with sides measuring 1 and Phi. With the perfect square, aligned from the mid- point and an arc, they created, what was later called, a golden rectangle. The Greeks also found that if they removed the original square, what was left was itself a golden rectangle. The Greeks believed that the golden rectangle held the mathematical key to beauty and they incorporated it in many designs. The most striking example may be the Pantheon with most of its proportions based on golden rectangles. The Greeks were not the first to use the visual balance of Phi in their architecture. 5000 years ago, the Egyptians based the design of the Great Pyramid of Cheops [also called: Giza] on golden proportions.”

Ley lines and the global grid This pyramid (and the others as well) are important, in many different ways, as you’ll come to understand. Not only the structure itself, or the fact that, even with our current technology, we have no clue on how it was built with such razorblade precision, its Illuminati symbolism, but also its placement. From David Icke’s book ‘Phantom Self’ some information (I hope you don’t mind David, since we’re on the same side – from my perspective at least):

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A Skateboard Serenade (.com) 7. The Philosopher’s Stone

“Other sources of paranormal ‘mystery’ are ley lines, stone circles, pyramids and so on. Planet Earth is criss-crossed and interpenetrated by a network of energy lines known variously as ley lines, (hey) dragon lines and meridians. These are the planet’s version of the acupuncture meridians in the body on the holographic principle of as above, so below [my emphasis]. A vortex is created where the lines cross and the biggest vortexes are the planetary power centres where the ancients located stone circles, major temples and pyramids to tap into and manipulate the energy and also for interdimensional communication. Crystalline (quartz) stone was used to aid communication with ‘the gods’ for the same reason that quartz crystal is used in communication technology. Initiates in the circles could tune into communications transmitted to the stones from other realities. Ancient initiates of the hidden knowledge knew far more than Mainstream Everything wants us to realize. To be aware that advanced knowledge existed in the ancient world is to ask ‘why did they know things then that we’ve only just learned or still didn’t know?’ From this would come a re-evaluation of official history and so many dominoes would fall. Defend the first domino [V for Vendetta]. Societies don’t only go forward into ever greater understanding as we’re led to believe. If knowledge is suppressed, societies can go the other way, too, into ignorance and reverse [! My emphasis] development. Compare ancient Egypt with modern Egypt. Initiates in the ancient world knew a great deal more than modern mainstream scientists with regard to the principles of reality. Today’s secret societies and many religions are based on this knowledge while hiding behind a Biblical front. The Mormon temple at Salt Lake City [Elisa E has some things to say about this temple, in case you’re interested, in her books ‘My life beyond MK Ultra’] is built from crystalline granite for the same reason that Stonehenge is constructed with crystalline stone. Satanic symbols you can see around the Mormon temple site are not by chance either. Researchers have been astonished at the way stone circles, standing stones, pyramids, ancient temples and other ‘holy’ places are geometrically aligned with each other over immense distances when there appears to be no historical connection and they involve cultures that didn’t know each other. But if you locate your structures on the vortex points of a grid that is geometrically aligned then you automatically geometrically align your structure with those at other points on the grid. Christian cathedrals and churches built on former Pagan sites inspired by vortex points are the same, and you have otherwise inexplicable alignments between Christian churches and ancient pre- Christian structures.” […]

“Manipulating major vortex points can change the frequency and information in the ley line grid, which then impacts upon the frequency and information state of the energy sea. We spend our lives in this energetic sea and are fundamentally influenced mentally and emotionally by its information state. Satanists target vortex points for their rituals for reasons that will become clear, and the most skilled are known as black magicians for their ability to manipulate what they know is malleable reality.” […]

“The idea that life as we know it has only emerged on one little planet in one little solar system is taking lunacy to its natural conclusion, but academia, media and the rest of the Mainstream Mafia, dismiss the idea of life on other planets with their stock phrase about ‘little green men’. Astronomers estimate that there are at least a hundred BILLION galaxies in the observable Universe. That’s the OBSERVABLE Universe – you know, the tiny frequency range which humans and their technology can see. What about the infinity of what we can’t see? It is also pertinent to note that mainstream science has gone from believing in one galaxy in only the 1920s to at least a hundred billion, with some estimates at 500 billion. When scientists tell you what is ‘known’ it is only what they BELIEVE is known at that moment. It’ll be something else tomorrow, next week or next year. Intelligent life exists on all levels of reality from pure consciousness through waveform, electrical/electromagnetic and digital/holographic. Research into ‘aliens’ (horrible term) tends to focus almost entirely on the human visual frequency range or the ‘physical’.” […]

And, to finish David’s work, for now: “A dying Australian Satanist revealed much about the power and methods of Satanism in a document that I publish in full in ‘Human Race Get Off Your Knees’ [Great book, I read it. Here’s the link to the online version of this confession, again: www.henrymakow.com/Australian_Satanist_exposes_wo.html]. He wrote: ‘What most people do not realise is that Satanism is a ritually based practice and that this repetition has – over time – left strong impressions upon the Morphic Field!’ This applies to both the Earth field and the auric field of Satanists. I said earlier that the British Isles was the heart centre of the global energy grid (most powerful vortex or network of vortexes) and this explains why these islands are (a) such a global centre of Satanism; (b) why it has been such a centre of global political and military power; and (c) why it is the home of so many Archon-Reptilian hybrid families and secret societies. If you control the energetic information/frequency state at the heart of the pattern you can do the same to the entire global pattern. Britain – and Rome – is where the hidden Archon power structure is largely centred in the Western world. The United States is powerful on the surface but in many ways it diverts attention from where the power really lies.”

Back to black Black is the colour of death and Saturn and the colour known to be the ‘hottest’ (hint: hell, fire), literally as well as figuratively speaking, because everybody knows there’s a huge difference between wearing black on a sunny day and wearing white. Black ‘absorbs’ warmth (warmth, as in: heat, which sounds like: Heath and makes the answer:

‘D. It is written’ Slumdog Millionaire (the movie that was promoted on the ‘Two Hands’ DVD, by the way), while white reflects it, which is why it’s completely beyond my comprehension why so many muslim women submit to the seemingly crazy rule that they have to be covered from top to toe in black/dark burka’s while they’re living in an oven. Another great example of reversal, when you consider that women used to be the more developed and important gender in society. Well, ‘used to be’… let’s be clear about this: practically every woman knows that she might be living in a man’s world, but that behind the scenes she’s ruling the fucking planet and her male partner is often behaving like another child she has to take care of. As an example, from a purely matrix, housewife and family perspective (I’m not talking spiritual and emotional development here; since the superiority of the average woman is even more blatantly obvious): sometimes, as in: often, by the time Michael took his shower and got dressed in the morning, I got two kids out of bed, got them dressed, made breakfast (including freshly pressed orange juice), folded a load of laundry, hung up a new one and put in another load to wash, cleaned up the breakfast stuff, emptied the dish washer and brought my oldest son to school while I took my youngest with me on my shoulders to give Michael a break. And on top of it, I showered and got dressed myself as well before everybody woke up and if it was ‘one of those days’, I also happened to have worked for a couple of hours when everybody was still fast asleep.

William: “A man has more demands on his time.” Jocelyn: “Is that so?” A Knight’s Tale

And to all fathers who dare to utter any syllable to contradict my ‘ruling the planet’-statement: “Did you ever give birth?” Exactly. And to all non-fathers: “Who gave birth to you?” Exactly. In theory, women would only need 1 man to seed a nation, especially with our current IV-technology, making the rest of men obsolete. Compare that with, even an infinite number of men, having only one woman. BAM!

Santa Back to square 1 (I’m so funny): look around you and notice how often squares (or more in general: 90° angles = 9 = Saturn/Satan) are depicted everywhere and think about the metaphorical/symbolical impact for a bit. Yep, hell it is and Satan is all over the place, so the only solution we have besides, well,

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A Skateboard Serenade (.com) 7. The Philosopher’s Stone nothing, is to observe it differently and, by doing so, change things around. Also, less subTILE, there are cubes everywhere, like the huge black cubes in Santa Ana (California), New York (including Ground Zero), Australia, Canada, Prague, Germany and Greece for example. There’s even a black cube on Curt Cobain’s tomb. Saturn was also known as ‘Lord of the rings’ because of its rings (around the planet) and some (like Jordan Maxwell in his book ‘Matrix of Power’) say that this is the reason why in marriage, when we officially ‘own’ somebody’s love, we seal the deal with a ring, as in: “If you liked it then you should’ve put a ring on it” (Beyonce). But since the rings of Saturn were only discovered by Galileo in 1610 and the (originally pagan) wedding ring tradition is widely believed to have originated much longer ago, this might be untrue. We can see what contemporary society did to the sacred union of two eternal souls, such as the one that Anastasia describes so beautifully in her books though, an that’s a fact: most of them end up in disaster. Don’t believe me? How many people are still together with their first love?

“I’ve had enough of romantic love, I’ll give it up, yeah, I give it up, for a miracle drug.” Miracle drug – U2

Despite knowing what rings symbolically might stand for, I absolutely love my cosmic, five falling stars, dream marriage, golden ring from Heath, that I got for Christmas 2016 via my ex-father-in-law, who’s named after one of the archangels, and I wouldn’t change it for the world. Literally. Interestingly enough, ‘coincidentally’, I learnt yesterday that gold dissolves in mercury. Why am I not surprised? Amongst other things, Mercury was considered to be the messenger of the Gods and the first time we meet Anton in ‘The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus’ he plays exactly that role. This probably won’t mean anything to you, but maybe it does when I tell you that, for me, that same Anton is a metaphorical representation of Michael, my now ex. Michael has been my foundation for the past 12,5 years, but I’m currently experiencing that he’s actively working against me writing The Book, because he knows that Heath plays an important role in it and he admitted he’s extremely jealous. Already that should be reason enough to get some psychological help, because he doesn’t believe in me, which means he doesn’t believe in Heath being alive, which means he is jealous of a dead guy, which is, well, a bit strange. Even for me. Especially when you tell everybody you won’t allow him to become part of our family if he’s still alive. Eh… huh? Anyway, the whole situation makes him feel so much anger and frustration that he’s even dreaming about fighting and if he wouldn’t have done what he did, I might still feel compassion, which, still, sometimes I do, but more often I don’t. Which makes my emotional life a lot easier, I have to admit. Which, by the way, is absolutely not the case when I think about my children and how they’re suffering from him, out of revenge towards me, agreeing with the verdict of a chauvinist, delusional French judge who thought it was best for an 8 and 3-year old to see their mum only 1 weekend per month. God, how angry this makes me, which gives me loads of motivation to work even harder, sometimes up to 20 hours a day. I hope it’s a cosmic form of ‘cruel to be kind’ though, and only when I think about this situation being temporary, I manage to focus on the positive. I need to, otherwise it’ll break me, which (I’m quite sure) he hopes what will happen. On 2nd thought, maybe he seems to be working against me on Matrix level, but truth is true, without him doing what he did, this book would not have been written for a very long time, making him a hero nevertheless. It’s all a matter of perspective, which is probably why, in the end, nobody has the right to throw even one tiny pebble (thinking about Jesus’ here). I was his dream woman, but then better, and I broke his heart. It’s no excuse, but does explain the why.

The rings of Saturn are coming back in different ways as well, as for instance in the Catholic, ring shaped, monks haircut and the halo, but also the ‘varmulke’ of the Jewish people, a.k.a. kippah’, that looks a lot like the Pope’s ‘zuccetto’. The, maybe not so obvious symbolism in the latter headgear, is more obvious in the following Catholic headgear (with a ring to protect delicate skins from the sun), since it’s even called ‘Saturno’, but also goes under the name ‘Capello Romano’.

If you still thought that your religion was your safe haven against Satan, think again. For example: all of the people who celebrate Jesus’ birth with Christmas (also written as X-mas, and not for no reason – X MASS = black mass) and use Santa to do so, are unknowingly participating in the hijacking of their holy party and gladly help turning it into the most blatant example of materialism and consumerism (more about this in the chapter A fantastic guessipe). External, temporary, destructive (plastic) pleasures managed take over internal, eternal, constructive happiness that true divinity is all about. I right away hear my dad complaining about the 10 boxes of Christmas decoration stuff that my mum keeps on the attic. I bet that not many people realize that the name of the good guy who’s supposed to give these hallow gifts, and loves to have your children on his lap, is an anagram of Satan, and many of his worshippers also love to have children on their lap. Maybe it’s not your child who gets poked with one of Santa Satan’s child loving helper’s sticks, but there are countless helpless children who are and, let’s face it, that happens in YOUR world, while YOU are living in it. Sorry to rock your boat a bit more, but if I see that all saints are called ‘Santa’ in Spanish and that specific word is ‘all over the place’, well, you do the math.

In Holland we didn’t use to have Santa Claus with Christmas, but celebrated its Dutch equivalent on the 5th of December, with ‘Sinterklaas’. But since, unfortunately, the US version of Santa is so enticing (some cola brand with its logo that reminds me of a devil’s tale, is great in marketing, especially with Christmas with its bells and lights. They are also good in lobbying, by the way, which is probably the reason why coke (not cocaine – which is even tax free) is taxed with 6% in Holland and bread and vegetables with 21% and 19% - this world is mad), we now have 2 gift frenzies in December, for those who can’t resist the temptation. As it turns out, since Holland, as probably the only country in the world, has 2 days of Christmas: the 25th and 26th, the beginning and end of the 2 Dutch Satan parties are exactly 3 weeks apart and since a week has 7 days, that makes this 7+7+7. I’m screwed up, I know, but I’m right away thinking about ‘The world’s most wicked man’ and top-Satanist Aleister Crowley with his “Get them before they’re 8, otherwise it’s too late” children fetish and his kabbalah 777 magic here. For your consideration: why is the December month known to be so expensive when Jesus was born in a freakin’ barn and his parents only had money for one mule, so his dad had to walk the almost a hundred miles from Nazareth to Bethlehem (assuming he was a gentleman and let his pregnant wife ride THE. WHOLE. TIME)? Ey?

And now I’m at it, the innocent tradition of decorating a X-mass tree with balls, candy (suck) sticks and lights (Satan means Light Bearer, remember, and happens to love sex)? If true divinity equals Nature and is the place where God resides, like Anastasia says and what any intelligent logic dictates to be true, can you see the blasphemy of killing insane amounts of trees every year for 3 weeks of indoor pleasure, after which they get burned on a bon (French for ‘good’, oh la la) fire? There’s a book called ‘The secret life of plants’ and I think it was in there where a guy hooked up a plant to a lie-detector and figured out that the plant freaked out completely when he even THOUGHT about burning one of its leaves and only calmed down again when the guy left the room. I think Heath knew this and that’s why he reacted the way he did in one interview, when he said that they had to burn a forest down to the ground for filming ‘The Brothers Grimm’. And guess who did that in the movie? Indeed, interestingly enough, the French. (Source: YouTube ‘HEATH LEDGER Interview (Brothers Grimm)’ by ‘loveheath777’ – hey, 777).

Did you ever look at a tree? I mean, really LOOK? Did you contemplate the genius wisdom behind the whole concept of a small seed being able to grow into a mighty oak tree, without anybody there to teach or scream at it how to grow and in what specific way? Do you realize that a tree doesn’t need to do groceries or cook and that nature provides for its needs without it having to do anything for it? Or that its roots go so deep and far that you would be surprised of the trees’ widespread connection with its environment? Did you ever listen to the sound of the wind, rustling through its leaves or notice how rain drops on top of the leaves look like little lights when they reflect the sun? Did you take time to appreciate the symbology behind the four seasons, the looks of the tree and how this might be used as a metaphor for processes in your own life and in the world? I’m asking you, does a tree really need

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A Skateboard Serenade (.com) 7. The Philosopher’s Stone decoration or, by doing so, we dismiss its natural beauty and actually make it look ridiculous? If you believe it or not, Satanism reversed everything and made us mock truth and you your own beliefs in every possible way. Could you humiliate yourself more? By laughing at and dismissing what I’m saying probably and not even believing truth when you get bitch-slapped with it.

Saturn, Jupiter and Pan What a coincidence, when thinking about rectangles (4 corners of 90° = 360°, identical to a full circle – making them metaphorical equivalents) and researching their possible connection to Satanism, I came across the website www.nicholson1968.com/nicholson1968s-post/saturn were I learnt the following (welcome to my world): “With the deposing of his father, Saturn became the ruler of the Universe for untold ages and he reigned with his sister, Ops [as in short for: ‘Operations’?], who also became his wife. It was prophesised that one day Saturn would lose power when one of his children would depose him. [My emphasis] To prevent this from happening, each time Ops delivered a child, Saturn would immediately swallow it. When her sixth child, Jupiter [I mean, SERIOUSLY? Literally only 2 days ago I thought about doing research on what was up with Jupiter, because of the Wachowski sister’s movie and its metaphorical links with The Story, as in: myself, Heath and the world. In mythology Jupiter is a guy, so that would make Heath the most likely option, but in the Wachowski movie ‘Jupiter’, she’s a toilet cleaning, star-gazing girl], (Zeus), was born, Ops had him spirited away to the island of Crete.” I know Crete. Well, actually I don’t know Crete, otherwise I wouldn’t have gotten lost in Old Chersonissos in the middle of the night in a mini-skirt and high heels after jumping on the back of a random scooter. “Dude looks like a lady” Aerosmith

Carol C. indeed says something about me and possible gender issues in one of her readings, which is something I can only relate to from ‘a man’s world’ perspective though (I happen to be very happy that I’m a woman, thank you very much). “She then wrapped a stone in his swaddling clothes. Her deception was complete when Saturn swallowed it, thinking it was the child. When Jupiter was grown, he secured the role of cup-bearer to his father. Jupiter fed his father a potion that caused him to vomit up Jupiter’s five siblings, Vesta (Hestia), Ceres (Demeter), Juno (Hera), Pluto (Hades) and Neptune (Poseidon).” (Source Wikipedia). Well, if throwing up can bring back old relatives that are a possible threat to Saturn, because of my bulimia, I threw up enough in my life to bring back a full nation. And if it wasn’t because of bulimia, my absolutely horrible hang-overs with day long puking sessions must have done the trick. How funny; cup bearer, hang over… Did I already tell you that God has humour and that it was Neale Donald Walsch with his April 1st (which happens to be, hey, Fool’s day in Holland) statement that changed my spiritual life around? Me freely paraphrasing: “Do you think God doesn’t have humour or can’t appreciate a good joke? God created the humor”. Why so serious?

“Saturn always had a negative, if not, evil significance. In ancient times, it has been called “The Greater Malefic” which was opposed to Jupiter, “The Greater Benefic”. Saturn is esoterically associated with man’s limitations, restrictions, death and decay. His Greek name was “Kronos”, the ruler of time, time being the main factor inevitably leading to the death of mortals [Anastasia’s main goal: “Carry people through the dark forces’ window of time”]. Traditional representations of the “Grim Reaper” [link Heath: The Brothers Grimm – “Not even grandfather Death…” and “Only the truest of truthful love could ever beat the Grim Reaper.”] originate from the attributes of the god Saturn, who held the sickle with which he slain his father.” I seriously ‘sometimes’ have the feeling that I’m in some sort of cosmic Truman Show and that they’re having a blast ‘up there’.

“Like I was never there. Was I ever there? Then what are these memories I know we share? Carry me to the river of my fortune. Faithfully I will follow no guiding light. Carry me to your blossoming orchard. Thankfully I will let you carry me. Open your arms and let this whipping boy in. Away from the faces of ruthless gods harrowing. This is the home I’ve been making. This is the place of my heart I’ve been searching. To here lead the footprints the beach was saving just for me.” Carry me – Phoenix Effects

On the same day that I wrote the Saturn stuff above, it was April 5th 2019 (1 day after Heath’s 40th birthday) and we were in ‘La Candelaria’ in Bogota and just outside the Gold Museum there was a Grim Reaper; you know, one of those street artists on a stick with a seat that looks like he’s levitating. Since weird synchronicities became kind of normal in my world, I didn’t even take a picture back then, but my mum remembers it because I heard her talking about it on the phone with my sister. So you can ask her if you don’t believe me. The picture below the above-mentioned paragraph, about Saturn from Wikipedia is a lot higher on the flabbergasting scale though and that really means something because, by now, I’m far from easily surprised. It’s a picture of the god Pan, which is a (strong) metaphor for Heath and if you want to know all the crazy reasons why: read the chapter ‘Pan & Selena, honey’.

“Oh my Ganesha!” Kala – Sense8

“Finally, the ‘great god Pan’, the horned deity, represented Saturn in ancient paganism. This half-man, half-goat creature is considered the ancestor of our modern depictions of Satan. “Pan was a composite creature, the upper part – with the exception of his horns – being human, and the lower part in the form of a goat. [So this links Pan with Baphomet, ‘great’] (…) the pipes of Pan signify the natural harmony of the spheres, and the god himself is a symbol of Saturn because this planet is enthroned in Capricorn, whose emblem is a goat.” [Source: Manly P. Hall, Secret Teachings of All Ages]. “Pan was the controlling spirit of the lower worlds. He was portrayed roaming through the forests, penis erect, drunk and lascivious, frolicking with nymphs [Casanova anybody?] and piping his way through the wild.” So, now we also know why ‘tailler une pipe’ means ‘to give a blow job’ in French.

Valentina: “Charity work? Cool!” Percy: “So what was he doing dangling by his neck under the bridge?” Valentina: “Percy!” Percy: “Oooh, was that rude? Did I put my foot in it? Pffff…” Tony: “No, no… it’s ehm, it’s so strange. It’s, it’s horrible you know, I, it’s, I just, everything is just a complete blank. You know? But, as the good doctor said, I was involved in some sort of charity. I do remember that. Here you go, plucked” [Tony hands a plucked chicken – Anton’s favourite ‘chick trick’, Bertie – to Valentina. As you know, Anton is a metaphorical representation of my ex, Michael, and I happen(ed) to be his favourite chick.] “I mean, what a fool I must have been to think that, you know, [Ode to Joy on a flute starts playing] I could have changed the world. That I could have made a difference, you know, give the people hope. Hey? I mean, what an arrogant idiot I must have…” [I guess that would be me as well] “Hey, what’s that? Hey, mate, can I have a look at that? What is it there you’ve got?” Anton: “Oh” Tony: “What is it?” Anton: “Oh, it’s Beethoven, Ode to Joy” Tony: “No, not the song, mate. The pipe. I think it belongs to me.” Anton: “Really? You think…” Tony: “Yeah.” Anton: “How’d you know, how’d you know that? You just remembered something. You just remembered you’re a musician.” Tony: “Well yeah, it’s a day of remembering. Now, can I please have it back?” Anton: “Are you sure?” Tony: “Yes.” Anton: “You know, are you sure it is yours?” Tony: “Positive mate.” Anton: “How can you be sure?” Tony: “I just know these things, now can I have it back please?” Anton: “Eh…” [Makes the (pan) flute/pipe disappear]. Tony: “Eh…” [Anton laughs] “Yeah, all right, now, it’s very funny, is it… yeah… can I have my pipe back now please, it means a lot to me. This is a very special pipe.” Anton: “I know, I don’t know.” [Checks underneath the table - La Mesa in Spanish] “OK, got it, got it. Take it. Sorry, there you go. Sorry. Sorry mate.” [Makes pipe disappear again]. Tony: “Listen, this isn’t funny mate. This pipe means a lot to me. All right?” Anton: “It’s a little bit of funny.” Tony: “No, it’s not a little bit of funny, all right? Now can you give my pipe back?” Anton: “I’ll just look around… What is it doing there in a teapot? [Link with YouTube video: “Change the Stars (Heath Ledger, 10 years later)” by DoorMouseTeapot, as well as the time Heath and Jake needed to announce their own movie, Brokeback Mountain, on stage and Heath gave away a great performance as a

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A Skateboard Serenade (.com) 7. The Philosopher’s Stone

teapot – “Ask my mum, I always stand like this.”] That is all I wanna know. What is it doing in a teapot?” Tony: “I don’t know. Now, thank you very much.” Anton: “Ok. All right, sorry, I’m just mocking about mate.” [Pretends to throw the pipe far away]. Tony: [Very angry now] “Right, you’re gonna fetch that thing mate.” Anton: “Ok, Ok, Ok, all right, I’m gonna get it.” Tony: “I’m not kidding. Right now!” Anton: “George, just chill out. Just chill out.” [Pretends to find it in Tony’s neck, exactly on the side where Tony was hurt before from hanging under the bridge.] “There.” Valentina: “Anton, enough.” [Takes the pipe, gives it back to Tony] Anton: “Sorry, I’m just playing around, trying to bond.” Tony [to Valentina]: “Thanks darling.” Anton: “… just trying to bond” [Tony offers him his hand; they shake hands]. Anton: “That was fun!” Tony: “Yeah, funny, funny, funny.” The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus

“You would have killed him.” Francesca – Casanova

“I used to rule the world, seas would rise when I gave the word. Now in the morning I sleep alone, sweep [broom] the streets I used to roam. For some reason I can’t explain, I know Saint Peter won’t call my name.” Viva la vida – Coldplay

“We might say he [Pan] ruled the lower nature of man, its animal side, not unlike Satan. Despite acknowledging its association with evil, secret societies find the veneration of Saturn necessary to obtain illumination. It is the necessary counterpart of the principle of Good. Masonic authors clearly associate Saturn with Satan [from J.S. Ward – Freemasonry and the ancient Gods]: “Saturn is the opposite to Jupiter; his symbol is the cross [my emphasis] above the sign of Luna [Moon – Lunatic, hence ‘my girl’ Luna from Harry Potter]. He is the Satan, the Tempter, or rather the Tester. His function is to chastise and tame the unruly passions in the primate man.” Am I very opportunistic if I decide to take the last word literally (and not as ‘human’, which includes ‘woman)? Nah…

So, now you know a little bit more about why the cube in The Philosopher’s Stone represents the Matrix = Satan’s hell. To be honest, I think you should be very happy that Satan’s restraining order expired (see ‘Harlequin’).

“Be the kind of person that makes Satan say in the morning: “Fuck, she woke up!” Anonymous

“La ta ta…” Jocelyn – A Knight’s Tale 3. Out of this a triangle Out of the Yin Yang circle (representing dark/light – male/female – Heath/me) within The Matrix/Saturn/Satan cube, a triangle is created. Interesting, in music the triangle makes the sound of a bell. Heath’s mum’s and (millionaire’s son) step-father’s surname is Bell. Hmmm…

“Bell or hell rhymes with Nell” William – A Knight’s Tale [Links with ‘Nell’: the movie about the silent girl (Jodie Foster) from the forest, which, in turn, links with Heath’s ROAR: Sweet, but silent, Bridget and ‘A Knight’s Tale’: “But sir, my sex are marked by their silence.”]

A triangle (3 corners) is a two-dimensional representation of a pyramid (5 corners) (where 3 and 5 are two subsequent numbers in the Fibonacci code, for what it’s worth), which is directly linked with the Illuminati symbolism of the all-seeing eye, and if you don’t believe me, check out the American one-dollar bill. Heath also had a triangle on his forehead in ‘The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus’ and on some pictures it looks indeed like there’s an eye inside, but on another picture it looks more like a circle with the combination of a + and x inside. If you look at the pyramid from above, you get a square with a CROSS in it. A cross is well-known to be a geometrical representation of Satanism (hence X-mas), which might explain why any number (besides 0) X (TIME s) 9, numerology wise, is 9. An ‘X’ cross consists of four parts, or arrows; all pointing to the middle, that represent the North, East, West and South (NEWS, in short). For your consideration: how much time and energy do billions of people spend daily by watching, reading, listening to or talking about the news, while now you know that NEWS, in letters, is a metaphorical representation of an illuminati pyramid, or Satanism X? How many people feel happy, loving or hopeful after watching, reading or listening to the news? Did I already tell you that everything is energy, energy flows where attention goes and that if you don’t use your power others will? I rest my case.

Time’s UP So, the ‘X’ in mathematics means ‘TIMEs’. And, as you know by now, Saturn/Satan is Kronos, the ruler of time. Jesus called Satan the ‘prince of this cosmos’ and Paul called him ‘the god of this cosmos”. THIS cosmos, as in: ‘there are more’ and ‘cosmos’ as in ‘entire universe’ or ‘space TIME continuum’. Sorry to bring this to you ‘Late, late for an important date’-people, but time is an illusion and can be represented as a circle (like a clock), a loop, or a (Saturn) ring for that matter, if you will. David Icke uses the apt metaphor of a DVD, where past and future (any part of the movie) are all accessible in The Now. Not for no reason one of his books is called ‘Tales from the time loop’. Time is a matrix construct and if you consider that, according to research (I think it was Philip Zimbardo’s book ‘The Lucifer Effect’ where I read that, not sure though), ‘lack of time’ is the deciding factor into helping a suffering person out or not, you can imagine its evil impact. Look around and notice how everybody is lacking time and with the previous information in mind, this contemporary characteristic can easily be considered a cancer to modern society. Furthermore, Eckhart Tolle wrote a whole book about ‘The power of Now’ and it’s true: the only moment you live in and you have a direct influence on, is the now. “Yesterday is history tomorrow’s a mystery, but today is a gift: that’s why we call it the present.” (See the paragraph ‘Circles’)

“There are only two days in the year that nothing can be done. One is called ‘yesterday’ and the other is called ‘tomorrow’. Today is the right day to love, believe, do and mostly, live.” Dalai Lama XIV

Many people are aware of the fact that the choices you make in the here and now affect the future. Personally, I like to see the future as some sort of mosaic that shifts continuously and mixes free choice with destiny, depending on your output (thoughts, words, emotions and actions). Less people are aware of the fact that by the way you choose to observe the past, you can change it as well, in the here and now, and by doing so, also have an effect on the future. This is what I’m doing the whole time, actually. “Suddenly…” – Mr. BEAN “I’m not half the man I used to be. There’s a shadow hanging over me. Oh, yesterday, came suddenly.” Yesterday – The Beatles “They’re magic BEANs” Jacob (Heath) - The Brothers Grimm

I found a perspective where events from my past got a completely different, cosmic, meaning. And every time I get one of those ‘Oh my God’, ‘No way’- insights – like that I was a child of the wedding night (well, actually the night after, because my parents dropped into a coma from tiredness on the wedding night itself) and that both of my parents were virgins when they got married. Or that I was born 7+7+7 days early and not on exactly the same day as my mum and my maternal grandmother, May 30th, as I should have, according to the calculations, but on May 9th instead, which is Russia’s liberation day. And

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A Skateboard Serenade (.com) 7. The Philosopher’s Stone which confirms God’s biblical promise to Anastasia’s question (see A Fantastic Guessipe): “Before you ask, I will already have answered.” – I confirm and enforce my role and reality in the here and now within The Story, which, in turn, enforces the creation of my dreams for the future. Before, it was just a random ‘coincidence’, but now it’s a significant fact: proof of my theory, which thereby creates the future.

Past, present and future; one could call it the triangle of time. Anyway, it may be clear by now that the Ill’s (as in: the sick ones) hijacked the holy trinity/triangle/pyramid for their own means. Even more so, they like to mock it, which is why Jim Carey pulled the curtain on Jimmy Kimmel on why celebrities have this compulsive ‘stick out our tongue’ disorder, that he linked to the triangle. Jim Carey: “So YOU don’t know what it is. Jimmy Fallon doesn’t know, David Letterman doesn’t know what it is, all the comics in show business don’t know what this is?” [Forms a triangle with his hands, puts it in front of his mouth and sticks out his tongue] “Come on Jimmy, I’m here to blow the whistle off of this whole thing. I’m sick and tired of the secrets and the lies, it’s the secret symbol of the Illuminutty, and you’re a part of it. It’s the all mocking tongue.” Heath also got contaminated and I saw a picture on Pinterest where he sticks out his tongue in the same way, with the caption “The tongue. Really?” It’s the same picture he’s with a girl with butterflies tattooed on her belly. Basically, they mock the holy trinity and Heath therefore mocked himself, but we all know that he was known for not taking himself too seriously (pun intended).

Unconditional love Let’s focus on the positive though: the triangle also represents a trinity. Trinity was Neo’s (The Chosen One) lover in The Matrix movies and I thought she saved his A.S.S., but when I looked it up on the internet it turned out that it actually was the other way around (my mistake).

“Oops.” Kat – 10 things I hate about you

“Trinity, I know you can hear me. I’m not letting go. I can’t. I love you too damn much.” Neo – The Matrix Reloaded [What can I say? I’m Dutch, I like cheese.)

Trinity church in New York was my favourite church when I was there and is located close to the intersection of Wall Street and Broadway, a few streets away from my hotel on William Street with its advertisement for something called ‘The New Amsterdam Trail’ (not MY pun). I guess this is how you can be romantic in life, in case Heath’s interviewer for ’60 minutes Australia’ is still wondering. Anyway, also the bible talks about a trinity. God says somewhere: “Where two or more are together in my name, I will be present as well” or something along the same lines. Well, guess what, Heath and myself (Yin Yang) are together in The Utmost Highest name, which means that WhatEver has our back, making it a holy trinity. And this is also why Michael’s Philosopher’s Stone stopped dead in its tracks, because he doesn’t believe in God/WhatEver. For those who do believe, everybody with a bit of a brain knows that All That Is/WhatEver is higher than Satan, because otherwise Satan would have never had the ambition to be higher than G(o)od, which is the reason why he was sent (or went) to Earth in the first place. Duh. Just wondering: what would be the outcome when one tries to balance unconditional love for others with Self- love, in combination with free choice? Basically, what happens when an unstoppable force meets an unmovable object?

“Half” The Joker – The Dark Knight

“God is interplanetary Mind or Intellect. He is not a single whole mass. One of His halves is out of the material world of the Universe. He is a complexity of all kinds of energies. His second half is spread out all over the Earth in the form of small particles, as well as in every human being.” Anastasia – book 1: The ringing cedars of Russia

Through unconditional love and The Story we have a chance to unite these two foundational polarities of G(o)od and (The D)evil into WhatEver though and find balance within duality (half) by adapting a perspective where the worst can become meaningful and do justice to its Divine Origin, as an integral part of All That Is. I believe that by creating The Story, The Utmost Highest, told Satan (or, on a different take: Satan told HimSelf) “enough” and opened the doors for the biblical ‘lost son’ and ‘the little lamb lost in the woods’ (Someone to watch over me – Sleeping at Last) to come home. I hope that my matrix father won’t have a heart attack when I tell him that though.

Agree to disagree? Yesterday (April 6th 2019) I had a discussion with my bible, God and Jesus loving dad and literally had to stop our discussion because I was afraid of him getting another heart rhythm failure. My mum later said that his close-minded, black and white, on fanaticism bordering, convictions are based on insecurity and fear, that they are freaking her out sometimes and that I shouldn’t pay attention to them, but still; he’s my dad and I also happen to like God and Jesus. The discussion, from my perspective, in short: he says that God created everything, doesn’t make mistakes and that He gave humans free choice, but certain choices are forbidden (like being gay). I agree with all, besides the last statement and the 2nd one is tricky, when you take a good look around in the world. So, I asked how come God forbids to kill people, but, in another chapter of the bible, orders his ‘chosen people’ to mass murder an entire country. He started defending the reason for his biblical God’s decision, but that was beyond my point, because the command ‘Thou shall not kill’ doesn’t specific any exceptions neither. End argument of my dad: God is God and can do whatever He wants and we’re not God, so we can’t. My conclusion: then God is a hypocrite. Obviously, my dad didn’t like this. For me, according to my (possibly blasphemous, I admit) logic, this blatant contradiction indicates that not everything the bible says necessarily has to be true. I think it’s wise to keep in mind that the bible may be divinely inspired, but was written by humans and humans can make mistakes. Even more so, it’s very likely that the bible has been edited and censored afterwards by rulers whose power was threatened by its content. Fact is that my dad’s interpretation of the bible doesn’t leave room for free thinking and open research, especially since he even interprets Jesus’ ‘Research everything and keep the good’ in such a way that ‘the good’ is only ‘good’ according to the bible. I mean, if that’s the case, why even bother to mention the possibility of ‘everything’ if ‘everything’ isn’t ‘everything’ at all?

For me, first of all: limited freedom is an oxymoron – you either have freedom or you don’t and giving somebody a choice from which one option leads to theoretical disaster is not really a free choice. In theory, I admit, it is a choice nevertheless, albeit a severely limited and screwed up one, so in practice: no choice. Yes, you can jump off a skyscraper. No, it won’t enable you to live your life in freedom. Even more so, many parents know that if you forbid your children to do something, they’re actually more likely to it. And if I know that, I’m quite sure that God knows it and since He’s supposed to be a lot smarter than I am, well… you do the math. Secondly: if God would have considered homosexuality as wrong, why would he have included this possibility in his perfect creation? My conclusion: being bi/gay/whatever is OK or God made a mistake. You pick. In the end, our discussion brought my dad to Adolf Hitler and, him putting words in my mouth and not letting me finish talking, that then I must believe that what Hitler did was right, because Hitler had free choice. Me: (big sigh) obviously, free choice doesn’t necessarily equals ‘right choice’ and intentionally causing suffering to others, as Hitler did, should be the logical limit. One only has to think about what happened in the Nazi concentration camps to know that during WWII evil got redefined and should never be allowed to happen again. As it turns out though, it does, which is a main reason for writing this book, because MK Ultra comes from Joseph Mengele (a.k.a. ‘The Angel of Death’ and ‘Doctor Black’) and he was allowed to continue his horrible work after the war (check out ‘Operation Paperclip’). But two people loving

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A Skateboard Serenade (.com) 7. The Philosopher’s Stone each other and mutually agreeing to celebrate their love physically is something completely different. I mean: “Just because you’re on a diet doesn’t mean somebody else can’t have cookies.” (which reminds me of this old Facebook bumper sticker, that I happened to find very hilarious, for some, back then, unknown reason: “Come to the dark side. We have cookies.”) Victory was mine though, because, upon me asking, my dad admitted (‘in between nose and lips’) that he didn’t know for sure if Adolf went to hell or not, but because he got so agitated that I had to stop the discussion, I decided not to push my luck any further.

To make sure: I don’t agree with what Adolf Hitler did. I don’t agree with everything MISE is doing, as apparently described by, for instance, Justin Bieber. It breaks my heart and it makes me super angry and this is exactly the reason why I’m writing this book: to put a stop to all of that. And if that makes me crazy, fuck, so be it. So no, despite the fact that I believe in freedom as our birth right and the fact that God doesn’t punish, I don’t agree with everything that can be done with that freedom. Even more so, I think that through some form of karmic, self-harm kind of principle (All is One, so what you do to another, you do to yourself – which is basically what Jesus confirmed when he said: “What you have done for others, you have done for me”) punishment is instantaneous through suffering, since, at a high enough level, victim, villain and hero are the same. Which is the reason why they say that ignorance is bliss and probably also the reason why, despite being conscious, some refuse to grow in understanding: because they’re fucking cowards who don’t dare to take responsibility for their own actions and despite the fact they think they’re strong, they represent nothing and if they don’t change they will become exactly that. Nothing. Only cowards use helpless babies. You know why? Not because the energy of babies and children is so powerful, nay, because cowards are too fucking weak to pick a fight against someone of their own size. Even more so, these cowards are depending on external sources for their so called ‘power’ and if there’s one definition of weakness, it’s dependency. Well, I have word for you (personal message for all cowards out there): time’s up. And those babies that you tortured and sacrificed and put as mutilated trophies in the middle of the room to serve as a source of blood to compensate for your pathetic lack of power? Those babies knowingly and willingly chose for that experience and what you drank was love. Pure love. Because the promise was freedom and they loved you so incredibly much, that they were willing to undergo the worst kind of suffering to enable you to have the experience of being the furthest away from what you are. The extreme opposite to be exact. And from now on, every time you will do your trick, you will remember these words and you will know that what you’re drinking is love and you’ve been drinking exactly that all along. Pure love and nothing else. And that’s the real source of power. And this is the moment where ‘enough’ is ‘ENOUGH!’ and this is where your power will decrease with every drop and every sip, until you become what you currently represent: nothing. Like I said, time’s up. “Cursed” The Brothers Grimm

“Bill [William] Schnoebelen has lived on the dark side for many years. He was a 90th degree Mason, member of the Illuminati, a Satanic Priest, a Catholic priest and even more. Then one day his monthly contribution to the Church of Satan returned from the bank with a note in the back “I will pray for you in the name of Jesus Christ.” Within a week he lost his demonic power.”

Monseratte Despite my mum’s comforting words, because of my dad’s ‘authoritive’ way of speaking and his extensive knowledge of the bible, including many hours of contemplation, I did get insecure and asked Life/God/WhatEver for a sign. A couple of hours later, as Michael previously planned, we went to the pilgrim and tourist place ‘Monseratte’ in Bogota and, as I read in the booklet, as a form of penance, some people even go up the holy mountain on their knees. And who are standing right behind me in line and in front of my dad (so basically ‘in his face’) for an hour? Two of the most obvious gay guys I ever saw in Colombia, including 4 cm long, red, fake fingernails and black lipstick. Am I allowed to smirk? Please say “yes”. The irony was so brilliant and blatantly obvious that it didn’t pass by my mum and Michael neither. It did pass by my dad though because he hadn’t noticed that the ‘obviously-not-a-girl’ was actually a guy and the impossible turned out to be possible again, because he also missed the ‘impossible-to-miss fake fingernails of ‘her’ male friend/partner. After chatting to them for a bit I learnt that they came all the way from Venezuela.

Once up the mountain, along the pilgrim path, there are 15 statues, dedicated to Jesus’ cross ordeal. After the 9th (as in: 9) you sort of ‘hit the premises’ and the first thing you see is a wishing well and a bell tower with a giant owl on top. The owl is a symbol for Moloch (linked with sacrifice, including child sacrifice) and on the elite’s yearly camping trip to Bohemian Grove they have a ceremony called ‘the cremation of care’ in front of a giant owl. Ex MK-Ultra slave Cathy O’Brien writes about her horrifying experiences there in her book ‘Trance formation of America’ and it’s very disturbing to realize that many of our world’s leaders love to hang out there (more about this in A FanasticGguessipe). On the brighter side of things, my last name happens to be Maitimo, pronounced as ‘Mighty Mo’, so there’s still hope, if I may say so myself. Just in case the ‘coin didn’t drop yet’, ‘Mo’ is the most likely abbreviation for Moloch.

Taking a right before the wishing well, the line of statues continues and the 12th statue (‘The Hanged Man’ in tarot) is, wait for it: ‘Jesus on the cross’. The 13th statue (‘Death’ in tarot) is, wait for it: ‘Jesus off the cross’. The seemingly last, and 14th (‘Temperance’ in tarot) is called: ‘Jesus is placed in the sepulchre’. Continuing the pilgrim path of Jesus’ journey, the next thing I see is a sign with ‘restrooms’ (as in: toilets), which, in some dark humour way, could be interpreted as a synonym for ‘sepulchre’. Arriving at the end of the path towards the toilets, there are a few stairs with a restaurant on the right, but its big sign on the left: a grill made of black and white, vertical stripes with the word ‘Monseratte’ on it and above the name of the holy mountain there’s a fire burning (the roof is on fire, so to say). To top if off: on top of the stairs, there’s an arrow down towards the ‘basement restrooms’. So, from a certain perspective, following the pilgrim’s path of Jesus’ ordeal, this is what happens after he is placed in the sepulchre: His holy Monseratte mountain is burning on a dualistic grill (link fire - hell), its top is on fire and you can go take a piss or dump in the basement restroom a.k.a. the sepulchre (‘as above, so below’ remember?) But hey, I’m crazy, so don’t mind me.

As it turns out, there happens to be a 15th (surprise, surprise, ‘The Devil’ card in the tarot) statue, but you first have to pass the church. I entered that church, which has the most horrible statue of an immensely suffering Jesus I’ve ever seen in my entire life and it’s lying on a rectangle shaped stone slab, which is decorated with cap-stone missing pyramids, seen from the top. A little side-step: There’s something with rocks/stones and the bible going on, since one of Jesus’ main disciples, Petrus’ name means ‘rock’ and, as all Christians and many other people know, he lied three times about his relationship with Jesus, which is when the cock screamed three times (like Jesus’ predicted). The cock is another name for penis and maybe now you understand why the French national animal is, tatatatataaaaaa, a cock, but that could also be because some French tend to be very cocky (some, as in: definitely not all). Interestingly enough, the English and French are sworn enemies. In Heath’s movie ’10 things I hate about you’ Patrick (Heath) ruins Cameron’s French book (that he got so he could be a French tutor to Bianca; Kat’s sister) and in ‘The Brothers Grimm’ Jacob (Heath) makes fun of the French when he says “Kiss a frog and he’ll turn into a prince”. In ‘A Knight’s Tale’ the main fight takes place in Paris in winter, which happens to be the place where I lived for many years with Michael. I left Michael in the winter of 2009 to go from Paris to New York and Australia (for Heath) and exactly 2 weeks after I got back in Paris, since I couldn’t break his heart, I got pregnant with my oldest son and I decided that this is what Life and love wanted from me for the next (hey) 9 years. Paris also comes back in Busy Philipps’ car scene and in the lyrics of the heroin song (that she mentions in between sobs and eye rubs) that remind her so much of Heath. Taken all together, this is just a little bit too much cock to be coincidental, especially when you consider that Heath’s mum is a French teacher.

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A Skateboard Serenade (.com) 7. The Philosopher’s Stone

(Paris) “Cock-a-doodle once: I shall not deny him. Cock-a-doodle twice: I shall not deny him. Cock-a-doodle thrice: I deny him. Thrice he denied him! Thrice…” Preacher man - A Knight’s Tale

“Maybe the Pope is French, but Jesus is English. You’re on!” Roland – A Knight’s Tale

But I was talking about Monseratte: its Jesus looked so miserable that my mum even pointed out the best angle for me to take a picture of Him, without actually having Him on the picture. The sweetheart. But He sort of haunted us, because a couple of days later, a replica of that same horrible statue showed up in the church of the salt mines of Nemocon in Michael’s home country of Colombia. (Interesting name, by the way, ‘Nemo con’. ‘Con’ reminds me of con- artist (“And that’s a real artist” I AM Heath Ledger, “He was very handsome, and a very good criminal” Candy) and Nemo, obviously, of the movie ‘Finding Nemo’ where Nemo happens to have been taken to… Australia. Just sharing some thoughts here that have metaphorical links to The Story. Hint: Nemo is just one letter away from Neo, our hero in The Matrix). At the back of the ‘stage’ of the church on the top of Monseratte, where the priest always performs the ceremony, in mirror image (as in: reversed), there’s another ceremonial room with a ‘stage’, set up in half a circle (180° = 18 = 666) with benches placed in concentric circles (mentioned in quotes of Heath, as well as Michelle, but since he had the tattoo way before he met her, well, I can guess where she got that wisdom from) and the stage is made out of shiny black (!), square tiles (!) Even though I saw the 15th statue up front and intended to take a picture of it, it was so small and hidden compared to the previous 14 statues that I completely forgot about it and had to walk back (even though it rained, talking penance here) to take a picture. So much for what should be the happiest event in Christianity and biggest miracle ever where Jesus overcame death, ey? Maybe the rain didn’t help neither, but I didn’t see one person going there (or actually notice the statue, including my parents and Michael). Another minor detail: at the back of this specific statue there are electricity masts and a huge pentagram with lights, which makes it basically impossible to take a front picture of a happy, alive Jesus without a pentagram in the background. Maybe you don’t know, but an inverted pentagram is a well-known sign for Baphomet/The Devil and is used in Satanic rituals, since it represents a person upside down. Do remember that Satan’s party trick happens to be reversal, you guys. And to complete the holy journey: on the way out there’s another big owl carved out in the wall on the left. I mean, seriously people? The only thing missing for devoted Christians is a place to bend over so Satan can personally come to say hi.

Grace As you can see on the illustration in the beginning of this chapter, the upper corner of the triangle doesn’t touch the brim of the outer circle, only the two lower corners of the triangle do. Between the top of the triangle/pyramid, there’s a bit of space left. For me, this is because (physical) Man can only do so much; the rest is grace. And I think this is exactly what happened here in The Story. If things would have been wrong, if The Story would have been evil and would have led to the world’s destruction, God/WhatEver would not have blessed it in such a way that I would have been able to understand all of this. Thing is that I didn’t do anything; I just followed my feet and without Life carrying me and my spiritual, non-physical, absolutely insane connection to Heath, I would not have been able to do this. We’ve been blessed. I’m not saying it has been easy, definitely not. It has been torturous, very sad, painful and full of insecurities, guilt, fear and stress, but doable nevertheless.

There are so many incredible synchronicities and yes, still, there’s a risk of evil (since ‘the road to hell is paved with good intentions’). But I don’t think that it’s for no reason that the French (‘Les Bleus’) CEO of the French company I used to work for that has ‘blue’ in its name as well), who happened to like me a lot, gave me a book called ‘The Royal Game’, from Stephan Zweig, which is the 1st book ever I completely read in French. Interestingly enough, Stephan Zweig and his wife committed suicide very shortly after he finished writing this book. Heath wanted to make a film about another book about chess called ‘The Queen’s Gambit’, which makes me think he either didn’t read this book (which I find difficult to believe, for various reasons, such as the topic of chess, the story itself and the suicide of its writer shortly after ) or he used the other book as a decoy, because the metaphorical links between ‘The Story’ and ‘The Royal Game’, and the huge warning it contains, would have been way too obvious otherwise. You decide for yourself: “Driven to mental anguish as the result of total isolation by the Nazis, Dr. B., a monarchist hiding valuable assets of the nobility from the new regime, maintains his sanity only through the theft of a book of past master’ chess games which he plays endlessly, voraciously learning each one until they overwhelm his imagination to such an extent that he becomes consumed by chess. After absorbing every single move of any variation in the book, and having nothing more to explore, Dr. B. begins to play the game against himself, developing the ability to separate his psyche into two personas: I (White) and I (Black). This psychological conflict causes him to ultimately suffer a breakdown, after which he eventually awakens in a sanatorium. Being saved by a sympathetic physician; who attests his insanity to keep him from being imprisoned again by the Nazis, he is finally set free. After happening to be on the same cruise liner as a group of chess enthusiasts and the world chess champion Czentovic, he incidentally stumbles across their game against the champion. Mirko Czentovic was a peasant prodigy possessing no obvious redeeming qualities besides his gift for chess. Dr. B. helps the chess enthusiasts in managing to draw their game in an almost hopeless position. After this effort, they persuade him to play alone against Czentovic. In a stunning demonstration of his imaginative and combinational powers, Dr. B. sensationally beats the world champion. Czentovic immediately suggests a return game to restore his honour. But this time, having sensed that Dr. B. played quite fast and hardly took time to think, he tries to irritate his opponent by taking several minutes before making a move, thereby putting psychological pressure on Dr. B., who gets more and more impatient as the game proceeds. His greatest power turns out to be his greatest weakness: he devolves into rehearsing imagined matches against himself repeatedly and manically. Czentovic’s deliberation and placidness drive Dr. B. to distraction and ultimately to insanity, culminating in an incorrect statement about a check by his bishop [Church character, like Heath’s Alex in ‘The Sin Eater’ for example], and then him conceding the game, after which Dr. B. awakens from his frenzy.”

For years, what I remembered most, if not: the only thing I remembered from this book was that the final game was lost because Dr. B. anticipated on a move that hadn’t been made yet. I mean: from all the things that could’ve stuck, why this specific aspect? As a comparison: I read ‘The Queen’s Gambit’ as well, and don’t even remember the story, let alone the ‘finale’. Obviously, now Life informed me about the existence of that specific, and (to The Story) metaphorically very applicable danger, through ‘The Royal Game’, I don’t want to make the same mistake, hence The Book.

Fear For a long time, I believed that The Book was not meant to be written, because of what happened in Australia (‘nothing’, well… sort of) and because it could be used as a tool of evil. Like I said ‘The road to hell is paved with good intentions’ and on top of it, ‘Curiosity killed the cat’. Even more so, the fact that I would admit Life needed help, would create a world in need of help, because I not only observed it as such, but affirmed it by writing The Book, thereby giving that perspective lots of energy (a bit like the idea that THE Joker only came into being because of the existence of Batman – sort of as to balance out the energy in world made up of dualistic polarities). This contradicts the belief that God created a perfect world and doesn’t make mistakes you see. At some point, I changed my mind though, because I just couldn’t ignore my heart and all the synchronicities, way beyond statistical chance, that Life kept throwing at me. Instead, I came to believe that The Book is the tool to right the wrongs and create the perfect world we all dream of, deep down inside. Exactly because things are perfect. Which makes that the ultimate battle is the one I’m fighting within myself, against my own darkness.

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A Skateboard Serenade (.com) 7. The Philosopher’s Stone

There’s one person that keeps me on the path though and, ultimately, it’s not Heath, but a little girl called Miranda. And because of that, the most horrible thing I could ever think of: her suffering and ultimate fate as a child sacrifice on a Satanic altar, suddenly got meaning (I’d like to refer here to what is said to have been Justin Bieber’s ‘testimony’). It had to be so very bad and gut-wrenchingly terrible, because otherwise I probably would have let go and stay lying next to Michael’s swimming pool, If her story wouldn’t have broken my heart (The (Dutch wind)mill witch in Heath’s ‘The Brothers Grimm’ could only be defeated with baby tears shot straight through the heart, you see), maybe I would have done nothing and just worried about little me, myself and I. So, seen from this perspective, child sacrifice suddenly got a tiny bit of meaning and even though it’s still unspeakably horrible and terribly sad, without it, things might have been even worse, because The Story would not have been written; I would’ve missed the core motivation to do so. I’m not trying to downplay or justify what happened, but what I do know is that it stays meaningless if I keep seeing it like that. And I don’t hurt anybody with trying to give it meaning, right? I’m not saying it should still continue, because I’m writing this book in order to make people aware of what’s happening so we can stop it. Maybe, just maybe, the worst of the worst, child sacrifice, exists to prevent worse from happening. As crazy and arrogant as it sounds, The Story is here to save the world and if you came this far, I think you know that too. Fact is, we’re heading top speed towards the destruction of our beautiful planet Earth if we don’t act now. I said it before and I’ll say it again, because it’s very important you understand that not choosing is also choosing: we’re saving a world here. Are you in or out? It’s now or never. Every heard of the Extinction Rebels by the way? I didn’t, up to a couple of days ago, but I already love them. Nevertheless, keep questioning everything.

“You lost a part of your existence in the war, against yourself. Oh, the lights, they light up in lines of sadness, telling you, it’s time to go. And I don’t want to let this go, I don’t want to lose control. I just want to see the stars with you.” The fault in our stars – Troye Silva

Ultimately, there are two choices [Source: Neale Donald Walsch]; love and fear. And I can’t give into fear, even though it freaks me out, because then it would’ve won. Trust is a dangerous game and I’m very well aware of that, but this is so incredibly huge that it’s way above my head and in the end, who am I? I’m just a tool. I’m like clay in God/WhatEver’s hands, even through my own free will, because when I align myself with my True Self, The Utmost Highest, God’s will becomes my will automatically. (S)He/It (hey, that sounds like ‘shit’ – why so serious?) would never take my freedom of choice away and even though something is my destiny, I do have the power to choose differently, even if that would mean the destruction of one of the, if not: THE, most beautiful creations ever. That’s how much God/WhatEver loves us. But if I would believe, as Carol C. said “Oh, I can’t do this” or “I’ve still lost my way”, that would mean I have to die with a regret. And if there’s one regret I don’t want to die with, it’s the one of not having written this book. Not just for me (although, obviously, I would like to see my dreams come true), but in the end, it’s for Miranda and those like her that I’m willing to give my all. If I have a tool to help these children out, it would be a crime not to use it. So, here’s where I decided to trust Life and step of the (Heath)cliff, like The Fool in the Rider Waite tarot and like The Devil in the Salvador Dali version. Fact is, this is bigger than me and sometimes, even though I hate it and it goes completely against my nature, I just have to do what I’m told. Which is writing The Book and gamble on love. All in. No regrets.

“Cards on the table we’re both showing hearts. Risking it all, though it’s hard.” All of me – John Legend

So, the hijacked triangle/holy trinity actually represents the Parent (WhatEver), Child(ren) (Twin Soul – one through entanglement) and Spirit. Out of that, a new world (not a New World Order, mind you) is created, through grace, and that’s how we can:

4. Make a circle again The new circle we’re making here is a new Earth; the goal of The Story. Eckhart Tolle wrote a great book with the same title ‘A new Earth’. I love his books and am so happy that I got to read this instead of all the toxic books, like the (Karin) Slaughter stuff – for example. And don’t tell me I’m the only one that noticed the direct match between her last name and the content of her books.

“Love should end with hope” A Knight’s Tale

A rainbow, the international symbol of hope, is also 180° (666), or half a circle and, according to the bible, serves as a reminder from God that He would never flood the world again, as a punishment for all the sins committed. Genesis 9:8-14, from the English Standard Version bible (gotta love internet): “Then God said to Noah and to his sons with him, “Behold, I establish my covenant with you and your offspring after you, and with every living creature that is with you, the birds, the livestock and every BEAST [My emphasis. ‘Beast’ is sometimes translated as ‘animal’ – from the Muppet Show. Why so serious?] of the earth with you, that never again shall all flesh be cut off by the waters of the flood, and never again shall there be a flood to destroy the earth.” And God said: “This is the sign of the covenant that I make between me and you and every living creature that is with you, for all future generations: I have set my bow in the cloud, and it shall be a sign of the covenant between me and the earth.”

A rainbow appears when sun and rain appear together, metaphorically uniting fire and water, or: making the impossible possible (The Story). Since I saw the movie ‘V for Vendetta’: ‘God is in the rain’ and I always think of rain drops as tears from heaven. Did you realize that tears have the same shape as seeds by the way? I know that Heath loves to watch black and white movies on rainy days and I like to think that this book could be like a sun that makes a rainbow appear, so he can exchange his iron armour from ‘A Knight’s Tale’ for a pot of alchemical gold at the end of the rainbow. Something strange happened last week and one of my BFF’s told me about it over the dinner my girls’ squad threw for my birthday; apparently her nephew saw a reversed rainbow. I never knew that existed. But now I do. “Sometimes it takes two fucked up people to make up a normal relationship.” Pinterest

“Going over the rainbow” is a command connected with Mind Kontrol (The ‘K’ is German spelling, since MK is coming from the Nazi’s and Joseph Mengele in particular; check out ‘Project Monarch’, next to ‘Operation Paperclip’) and a way to enforce disassociation in MK-slaves so they forget what they did or what was done to them, when, where, how and by who. The movie that is most famous for being used as a tool in MK-programming is ‘The Wizard of Oz’, from the song ‘One day over the rainbow’. Oz is another name for Australia and, in case you didn’t know, Heath is Australian and connected to not only magic, but also MK. No coincidentally he was quoted saying that, when he was a child, he loved Julie Andrews (who played the role of ‘Dorothy’ in ‘The Wizard of Oz’) in her blue dress. Heath’s ex-wife, Michelle Williams, played the role of the good witch Glenda in ‘Oz the Great and Powerful’, but as we all know by now: Satanism equals reversal, so…

Anyway, a rainbow consists of all colours besides black and white, which happen to be the colours that represent duality and are therefore considered symbolically very important by secret societies, such as the Freemasons and the Secret Order of the Golden Dawn. This is also why the black and white, vertical stripes from the grill restaurant on the Monseratte mountain are so telling. And if you add to black and white, the lowest colour of the rainbow, red, which also represents the lowest chakra that stands for survival, is the colour of the war planet Mars, as well as the colour of blood, you have the colours of

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A Skateboard Serenade (.com) 7. The Philosopher’s Stone

Satanism. N’FA’s video for ‘Cause an Effect’ by Heath is there to prove that there’s, amongst those ‘in the know’, some underground resistance going on, which is probably also what enabled me to say the dark side works for me now:

“N’Fa’s the fresh breath amongst the virulent stench. The violence won’t end, I document with biro or pen. Blood leaking, while their freaking’ cause my rhymes are immense. I climb over or dig under any fence they erect. Break it down to a wreck without breaking a sweat. Call collect, collect debts owed and cash the checks. Mic check to check mate without saying jack shit. I smash it, mash your wack smash hit. Major record exec’s flex prophylactics. Ready to bend you over ‘til your ass can’t ever be mended. That’s why N’fa stays independent.

Get up, get up, man cause an effect. You know the rap, some say sleep’s the cousin of death. But most folks sleep walk through life. Eyes wide shut blinded by the big city lights. Some like to take life ‘cause they don’t know the meaning. Like ‘em stick up kids, stressed out and fiending. With so many pressures, we’re all so precious. We’re all rock stars, God bless us. […]

I represent those struggling to pay tax, struggling to eat amidst fat aristocrats. We can’t make ends meet. I represent the lonely working, searching for more. Suffering at the bottom, I’m here to settle the score. I dead the phonies jerking off at the tip top, trying to define, and make guide lines for hip hop. It’s free form so to hell with conformers. I’m raw, I stand tall, check my live performance. I grab my balls and I spit on the floor. Throw a fist for freedom to shock all y’all. No 50/50, if you ain’t with me then fuck all y’all. If you’re with me let me hear you ROAR! COME ON NOW!” Cause an Effect – N’fa

In general, the rainbow represents the inclusion of everything/everybody (all colours), which is why gay people use it as their ‘logo’. They like to be included, you see, and I think they should and it’s beyond stupid that this is even a point of discussion. Based on the rainbow colours though, we can conclude that black and white gay people are the real ones having a problem (I’m just kidding, relax…). Personally, I very strongly feel that it’s of nobody’s business but somebody’s own on how (s)he chooses to love another human being and if that’s between persons who are old enough to decide for themselves and mutually agree to do so, who are we to tell them what to do? It’s a pity that some people, like my dad, rather get their intelligence and love polluted by something (obviously ridiculous) written in a very old book that also keeps them prisoner in a toxic marriage that ruins their lives and even physical health. Personally, I rather see two gay people happy in love, than two heterosexuals who waste their lives away because God said they can’t change their minds, or, once they’ve made a mistake, they have to carry that burden for the rest of their lives. In a perfect world, everybody would have the Anastasia true (twin)soulmate relationship though and hopefully this book will inspire people to look for it again and not settle for less and countless variations of sore rip offs.

In physics, black and white are not considered colours because they don’t have specific wavelengths within the electromagnetic spectrum. Instead, white contains all wavelengths of visible light, while black is the exact opposite: the absence of light, as I said before. Black is the colour related to Satan/Saturn and the colour of death. So now you also know why you see so many black and skulls around, even on baby clothing. In nature, there is almost no black, unless it is dead and/or got burned by fire (do you notice the symbolical beauty and/or impact of the latter statement?). The good news is that once something got burned, the ground is supposed to be super fertile and the same goes for volcanic ash, for example. More about light and darkness in the similar named chapter.

“How come it takes a whole box of matches to light a campfire, but it takes only one careless match to start a forest fire?” Epic one-liners

Also, from an alchemical perspective (coming full circle here; pun intended) the phoenix rises from its own ashes. Just to make sure: I don’t pretend to have all the answers and even though I do my best, I can’t guarantee no mistakes neither. I’m learning on the go; it’s a process. That’s why you have to stay critical and do your own research and think for yourself. You have to look inside your own, unique individuality to see what you can contribute: what makes your heart beat faster, what ignites our passion, what are your talents, what is the next best version of the highest vision you ever had about yourself, where does your happiness flow take you? And, especially for my dad, ‘what (do YOU think) Jesus would do?’ We’re all in this together and only together we can reverse the mess we created. Come on people, we can do this. Let’s together create the peace on earth we’ve all been so desperately longing for. If not now, when? If not you, who? If it’s not for us, let’s do it for our children. No more war. No more violence, but instead: peaceful non-compliance. We’re saving a world here. Now are you fucking in or out?

“You sit around getting older. There’s a joke somewhere and it’s on me. I’ll shake this world off my shoulders. Come on baby, the laugh’s on me. Stay on the streets of this town and they’ll be carving you up all right. They say you gotta stay hungry. Hey baby, I’m just about starving tonight. I’m dying for some action. I’m sick of sitting ‘round here trying to write this book. I need a love reaction. Come on now, baby, gimme just one look. You can’t start a fire, sitting ‘round here crying over a broken heart. This gun’s heart’s for hire, even if we’re just dancing in the dark. You can’t start a fire, worrying about your little world falling apart. This gun’s heart’s for hire. Even if we’re just dancing in the dark.” Dancing in the dark – Bruce Springsteen

“We can dance if we want to. We can leave your friends behind. ‘Cause your friends don’t dance and if they don’t dance, well, they’re no friends of mine.” “I say, we can go where we want to. A place where they’ll never find. And we can act like we come from out of this world, leave the real one far behind. We can dance.” The Safety Dance – Sleeping at Last

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