Bartholomew and Wasznicky Divorce Guide
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Toll Free: 866-860-2447 Phone: 916-455-5200 Se Habla Espanol Helping You Divorce With Respect SERVING CLIENTS IN NORTHERN CALIFORNIA, INCLUDING SACRAMENTO, PLACER, EL DORADO AND YOLO COUNTIES At Bartholomew & Wasznicky LLP, our experienced and caring divorce lawyers know that the issues you’re facing are complex, diffi cult and emo onal. However, we will do everything we can to help you divorce with respect, always consider the best interests of your children, make wise fi nancial decisions and move forward in your life. • Experience that Makes a Positive Difference: Our divorce lawyers have almost 130 years of combined family law experience, which far exceeds any other fi rm in the area. We’re also exclusively dedicated to the prac ce of family law. It’s experience that you can trust to make a posi ve diff erence for you, your family and your future. Hal D. Bartholomew • In-Depth Up-to-Date Knowledge: We keep current and up-to-date on the changes in the law and procedures. By regularly a ending con nuing educa on classes, all of our knowledgeable divorce a orneys far exceed the requirements required by the State Bar of California. • Communication, Caring, and Empathy: The law can be complicated, but our divorce lawyers have the seasoned commu- nica on ability to ensure that you’re informed, prepared, aware of your op ons, and focused on making decisions that are in your best interests. We’ll also treat you with respect and care at all mes. Diane E. Wasznicky • A Reputation for Excellence and Results: Our fi rm has the highest ra ng (AV) from Mar ndale-Hubbell, and our partners have been named as Northern California “Super Lawyers” in Family Law each year since the award was introduced in 2004. We have also earned the highest ra ng TWITTER: from AVVO (10.0). These dis nc ons refl ect our unwavering commitment to cli- twi er.com/SacDivorce ent service, and our ability to achieve successful results. FACEBOOK: • Offering You More Options for an Agreement: facebook.com/Sacramento DivorceA orney We off er a wide range of op ons for our services, including (but not limited to): Limited Scope Representa on, Li ga on, Minor’s Counsel, Collabora ve Divorce, LINKEDIN: Media on, and Document Prepara on/ Consulta on me only. These op ons linkedin.com/company/ give you the freedom and fl exibility to achieve an agreement that fi ts your dis- Bartholomew-&-Wasznicky-LLP nct family law needs. BLOG: divorcepage.com/blog • A Team Approach that Puts You First: Our team approach gives you access to dedicated divorce lawyers and paralegals who are responsive to your needs, and ready to provide support every step of the way. Plus, our paralegals bill at reduced hourly rates from our divorce lawyers, and as such we can perform many tasks at an appropriate lower rate. • A Network of Experts and Specialists: We have established rela onships with fi nancial, forensic and mental-health pro- fessionals (among others) who will help us prepare your case from every angle as needed. They will also partner with us in helping you successfully make it through your divorce and into your new life ahead. 4740 Folsom Boulevard, Sacramento, California 95819 916-455-5200 | [email protected] For many women, divorce is a difficult and confusing experience that can profoundly change and negatively impact many aspects of life. In this Women’s Divorce Guide you’ll find helpful and supportive articles, book excerpts, advice, and insights that focus exclusively on women’s divorce issues. It’s a treasure trove of compassionate and credible information designed to support and empower you as you progress through your divorce – and into a brighter future. contents 4 The Importance of Doing Nothing During Divorce 20 Getting to Know (and Love) the New You After Divorce Stressed out? Need to restore your equilibrium? Consider Divorce off ers you the opportunity to reinvent yourself blocking off some time in your schedule to Do Nothing. – perhaps as the person you were before “I” became “We.” 6 6 Survival Strategies for Transitioning Through Divorce Strategies to help you heal so that you can move on in a 22 “Rock The Boat” and Create a Fresh New Life healthy way and embrace the next stage in your life. It’s time to rock your world: shake it up and turn it into something that fills you up spiritually and 8 10 Tips for Moving on After Your Spouse Cheats emotionally. His infi delity is about him; his actions are not your fault. 24 5 Milestones to Help You Live Your Best Life 10 Divorce Stress: How to Identify and Manage It You might be thinking it’s impossible to really move on – How to recognize the physical and psychological let alone live your best life after divorce – but you can! symptoms, and actions to help you manage stress. 26 Tired of Feeling Angry at Your Co-Parent? 12 Getting Organized During Divorce When you’re angry, you lose your ability to use reason You need to develop an organizational system that will and logic. These six tips can help. prevent you from drowning in a sea of paperwork. 28 Post-Divorce Dating: Things to Consider First 14 6 Baby Steps to Start Creating a Financial Plan This soul-searching might be diffi cult at times, but it will Take time to start planning the fi nancial aspects of your set you up for success in the long run. divorce; it will make a diffi cult transition that much easier. 16 Divorcing after 50? Make Finances Your Top Priority! 30 5 Steps for Dating After Divorce with Children You may have signifi cant assets at stake during divorce; Allow your children time to sort out their feelings, and take these steps to help to secure your fi nancial future. never make them feel like they must take sides. The articles in this Guide are provided for general information and may not apply to your unique situation. These articles do not take the place of a lawyer, accountant, financial planner, therapist, etc.; since laws and procedures vary by region, for professional advice, you must seek counsel from the appropriate professional in your area. The views presented in the articles are the authors’ own and do not necessarily represent the views of this firm or of Divorce Marketing Group. This Guide is published by and Copyright © Divorce Marketing Group. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. Any use of materials from this Guide – including reproduction, modification, or distribution – without prior written consent of Divorce Marketing Group is prohibited. Women’sWomen’s DivDivorceorce GGuideuide | 3 The Importance of Doing Nothing During Divorce Feeling stressed out during divorce proceedings? Need to restore your equilibrium? Consider blocking off a bit of time in your schedule to Do Nothing. By Wendi Schuller, Therapist ometimes the best course of action is to Do Nothing. In Sdivorce, we are often spinning our wheels, making a lot of noise but going nowhere. It is hard to keep mental fatigue at bay with so much going on and so many life-altering decisions to make during divorce proceedings. Our brains are on overload and our bodies are exhausted. What is the anti- dote to this craziness? Step back and Do Nothing. Having a block of time to do whatever you like is a great way to recharge your batteries. This resets your mind and body, so you can tackle the tasks, such as negotiating the split of marital assets. Stress increases the risk of cardio- vascular events causing hormones such as cortisol to be released. This can cause head- aches, gastrointestinal issues, and for some of us, brain fog. Making decisions can Divorce Recovery Guide | 4 be overwhelming. The Mayo When feeling jittery and Clinic states that: “Taking time My divorce would have been unable to simply Do Nothing, to rest and relax with no particu- much smoother if I had known consider taking up an activity lar goals can help reduce stress designed to to calm mind and and bring a sense of calm and it was okay to Do Nothing. body – such as yoga or medi- control.” Downtime allows the tation. My son and I took Tai brain to process information that Chi classes during and after my has been received. divorce. We were both much Incorporating seemingly aimless downtime into your calmer after sessions, which enabled us to enjoy downtime. busy schedule may seem counterintuitive, but it often increases creativity and access to the wisdom of your sub- Do Nothing: Become a Human Being Rather Than conscious mind. Many artists and writers commonly allow a Human Doing themselves unstructured periods to let their minds wander. A young adult whom I take care of one morning a week first While you are seemingly doing nothing, creative concepts are introduced me to the concept of “Do Nothing.” He has cere- bubbling up to the surface. You can apply the same concept to bral palsy and can only string a limited number of words your divorce: your subconscious mind can offer outside-the- together at a time. When I ask him what he would like to box ideas to solve the complex issues that come with divorce, do, sometimes he replies “Basketball” – but on a regular but only if you give it time and space to do so. basis, his reply is “Do Nothing.” We might sit on his lovely Even if you don’t spontaneously resolve your divorce patio and listen to bird calls or the wind sighing through tree issues, doing nothing can offer respite and enjoyment.