You and Me Will Never Part: a Study of Black Women's
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YOU AND ME WILL NEVER PART: A STUDY OF BLACK WOMEN’S BEST FRIENDSHIPS by TAMICA SHAMBLY ROBIN M. BOYLORN, COMMITTEE CHAIR MARY M. MEARES CARYL COOPER A THESIS Submitted in partial fulfillment of the requirements for the degree of Master of Arts in the Department of Communication Studies in the Graduate School of The University of Alabama TUSCALOOSA, ALABAMA 2012 Copyright Tamica Roshelle Shambly 2012 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED ABSTRACT The existing literature on women’s friendship lacks information about Black women’s friendships. Few researchers (e.g., Goins, 2011; Denton, 1990) have looked specifically at Black women’s friendship and the role they play in Black women’s lives. This project answers the call set forth by Houston (2002) and others for more work to be done in interpersonal communication about African Americans from within the African American community. This project found that Black women’s best friend relationships begin with similarities, loyalty, understanding and dependability. Once the women become best friends, they must be honest, loyal/trustworthy, understanding, positive, and spend time together. They maintain their friendship with open communication within their friendship, the modes of communication they choose, and the topics of conversations that they have. ii DEDICATION This thesis is dedicated to everyone who has helped and encouraged me on this journey. Without your support, I do not know if I would have finished what I started. In particular, my family, partner, friends, teachers, students, and my First Scholars who told me over and over again that it was going to be alright and that I would finish this project. I would also like to dedicate this to all the Black women who have been told that other Black women are their enemies instead of their friends. This is for us. iii ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS Special thanks to my thesis committee, because without you all I do not think I would have finished this project. Dr. Boylorn-chair, Dr. Cooper, and Dr. Meares you all are truly amazing. I would also like to thank my partner, Terrance, for sticking with me through this process. If I felt like I did not have anyone else in my corner, I knew you were always there. Thanks to my family for being there and always keeping my mind off my work when I needed to relax. My friends who without them this project would not have been conceived. Kendra, Tyanna, and Meredith, I truly thank you for being my best friends and inspiration. I also would like to thank the women who inspired me to do work within and about the Black community. Dr. Marsha Houston, Dr. Robin Boylorn, Dr. Caryl Cooper, and Dr. Brittney Cooper, you all are a magnificent group of women whom I have had the pleasure to be a student of and learn from. I am sure I would not have been at the end of this process without taking your classes. I would like to thank the faculty, staff, and students in the Communication Studies department because you all have encouraged me throughout this process. You kept reminding me that there was a light at the end of the tunnel. Last but not least, to the person who is reading this I would like to thank you. I hope this research brings as much joy to your life as it has mine. iv CONTENTS ABSTRACT ................................................................................................ ii DEDICATION ........................................................................................... iii ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS ....................................................................... iv LIST OF FIGURES ................................................................................... ix 1. INTRODUCTION ...................................................................................1 My Position and the Problem .......................................................................1 What’s Missing? ..........................................................................................5 Images and Portrayals of Black Women ......................................................7 Controlling Images ...........................................................................8 Beauty in the Eyes of the Whom? .......................................10 Angry and Disappointed ....................................................12 Research Purpose .......................................................................................13 2. LITERATURE REVIEW ......................................................................14 Friendship .................................................................................................14 Gender Differences in Women’s and Men’s Friendships .............18 v Women Friendships and Best Friend Relationships ......................20 Interracial Friendships ..................................................................22 Black Women’s Friendships ..........................................................25 Maintaining Friendships ....................................................29 Current Project ...........................................................................................30 Intersectionality Theory .................................................................30 Black Feminist Thought .................................................................31 Research Questions ....................................................................................34 3. METHODS ............................................................................................35 Participants/Recruitments ..........................................................................35 Data Collection: Focus Groups ..................................................................37 Data Collection: Interviews .......................................................................39 Interview Protocol .........................................................................40 Interview Procedures .....................................................................43 Data Analysis ................................................................................43 Summary ....................................................................................................44 4. RESULTS ..............................................................................................46 vi Distinguishing Factors ...............................................................................47 Friendship ......................................................................................47 Friends and Best Friends ...................................................53 First Impressions ...........................................................................56 Timelines ........................................................................................57 Best Friends ...............................................................................................58 Important Factors ..........................................................................58 Honesty ...............................................................................58 Understanding ....................................................................60 Trustworthiness/Loyalty .....................................................61 Positivity .............................................................................62 Spending Time Together and Proximity .............................64 Role of Communication .............................................................................66 Topics of Conversations .................................................................66 Modes of Communication ..............................................................67 Summary ....................................................................................................69 5. DISCUSSION ........................................................................................71 vii Conclusions about Findings .......................................................................71 It Doesn’t Matter BUT ...................................................................72 Age Ain’t Nothing but a Number ...................................................74 We are Always Close ......................................................................76 Implications for Future Research and Limitations .....................................77 Qualitative Measures and Theory ..................................................78 Best Friends are Important ............................................................81 Limitations and Future Research ...................................................82 Summary ....................................................................................................83 REFERENCES ..........................................................................................85 APPENDIX A ............................................................................................91 APPENDIX B ............................................................................................93 APPENDIX C ............................................................................................95 APPENDIX D ............................................................................................96 APPENDIX E ............................................................................................97 APPENDIX F ............................................................................................98 APPENDIX G ............................................................................................99