C H A P T E R 2

Birth of a Daughter (Kanya)

Since ancient times, in all patriarchal societies, tlie birth of a female child was an unwelcome event. Tlie son was valued more than the daughter, because he was a permanent economic asset of the family. He lived witli his aged parents and did not migrate like tlie daughter, to anotiio- family, after the marriage. Also, he perpetuated tlie name of his fathei ’s family.

As he grew into adolesctjiice and youth, he could offer valuable services to the family in defending against j or at. acking an CTiem>'. The daughta on the otlier hand, had no figliting value whatsoever. Women have potential military value, by giving birth to . ins they contribute indirectly to tJie fighting strength and eiFicienc^' of tlieir community. But this view of situation was not taken into consideration. How'ever, in actual fighting, the>' became a handicap rather than a help. Therefore, the birth of a daughter was not a welcome event, Tlie son was preferred to a daughter.

Tlie reasons why daughtei s were relatively less popular are not difficult to understand. The importance of ancestor-worship had increased and sons alone were regarded as eligible for offering oblations to manes; daughters could not perform this ver>’ important religious duty.

However, religion had granted one day in the whole year, (on the first day of the month of Ashwin,) when tlie daughter v\ii.li a son, could perform the Slvaddha, of her father, through her son. This rite is called

MatamaJm Shradha. This was restricted to daughters having sons only and indirectly she could thus perform tlie rites through her son. After her death, the son would discontinue the performance of tlie rite. Only the rites of her father aie mentioned. Nowhere is her mother mentioned She could pay homage to her father through her son.

65 Child marriages were in vogue, rjiiianiages were prohibited in certain classes, intercaste niairiages were

disapproved by the society’. There were hundreds of castes mid sub-castes, all insisting upon mutual cxogairn'.

Tliis led to the field of choice for selection of a suitable son-in-law, being vei^ naiTow. llius intensifying tlie

' anxiety of tlie daughter’s fatlier, about tlie proper choice of a bride-gi oom.

In addition, if the cruel fate inflicted widow-hood upon the daugliter, the calamity would break the

parait’s heait. Remarriages vv’ei e not possible in all the couununities, parents had to bear the heart rendering pain

of witnessing tlieir daughter wasting herself in an interminable widow-hood. custom added their grief, for

then, they had to pass through the terrible ordeal of watching tlieir daughters buming themselves alive on the

funeral pyre of their husband. Ahilyabai had witnessed 18 Satis in her family, tlie last of tliem was her

daugliter, Muktabai. To becorrie a daugliter’s fatlier was thus a source of endless worn’ and miseiy. Hence, a

, daughter was considered as a punishment for the past misdeeds of the father.

The society felt there was a vast difference between a son and a daughter; the son was a bliss incarnate and

a daughter was a root of misery

It was also possible that the poignant pain felt by the parents at the time of their separation , alter her

marriage, be partly responsible for the general dislike for a daughtw. It seems the feeling of dejection and

disappointment, at the birth of a daughter, was a fleeting one. It did not lead to female infanticide, lliere were

' no references of this evil custom found during the study period. Once tlie temporan,' feeling of disappointment

was over, the family took a keen interest in the daughter as it did in a son.

News of childbirth was communicated through the letters to the relatives and family members. Tliere j was a marked difference in conveying the news of the birth of a daughter and a son. The news of a birth of a

daughter was just conveyed, the arrival of a son in the family was a matter of rejoicing

^ However, with this background, Narayanrao, atlmonishes Maliipatrao Trimbak Purandai e in a

letter. He says tliat tJie Peshwa had heard about tlie news of tlie biitli of a daughter to Mahipati ao, who had not

bt coiive>ed it. llie Peshvva furtJier asks Purandare vvhetlier there was a custom of celebrating a birth of a son by

distributing sweets (sugar) and not to celebrate the birth of a daughter. He further taunts that perhaps Purandare

had found some reference in the Shashtras and therefore had not conveyed the news

I j pr The birth of a son was an occasion to rejoice, but there are no records to show that the birth of a daughter

was a thing to mourn. The society’ in general considered it as an unwelcome event but how would a mother,

herself a woman, receive the newborn? Perhaps she consoled herself, with a feeling that when this girl would

grow up and be married, the marriage itsrlf would grant a great religious merit to the father. Krwyadaan, the

gifting of the Kaiiya (a daughter) in marriage, to tlie groom, by the father was considered as equal to donating

Prithvi (universe Prithvi-daan). The father of a girl was thus enriched by begetting a daughter. A son, on tlie

other hand, was no help in this respect.

Nimiakciran or the naming ceremony would be perfomied on the 12* day afta- the birth of a son and on

13* day after the birth of a daughter. It could be delayed to any other auspicious day. Rajasbai, was an

, illegitimate daughter of Chatrapati Shahu and Viroobai, yet, she was respected and honoured as a princess. When

she gave birth to a daughter, all the proper rites of Namakaran or Barasa were performed and womenfolk of the

noblemen were duly invited

The ears would be pierced on this day by a goldsmith with a gold wire, for which operation he would

recei\ e a small fee. Dry coconut-half was a must, the goldsmitli would use it as a lubricant before he pierced the

delicate earlobe. Nose too would be pierced, but later on, before her marriage, so that the bride could wear a

nose-nng. This nose-ring would be a mark of her marital status, indicating that her husband was alive.

The names usually chosen were those of the Goddesses like Radha, Rama, Sat>’abhama, Ahilya, Uma,

Parvati or Janaki. or those of the sacred rivers like Ganga, Godavari Kaveri, Narmada. r 'ITie paternal aunt (fatlier’s sister) was a relative of great importance, she had the privilege of naming the

iiii'iuit. At ilie age of three, the niece would receive a green colour mini skirt and a blouse (Parkar-polha) along

67 wiLti ifie accessories oi gi een glass umigies, ciiain, ean ings, u aiid llow as to deck Uie liair. Latu, on attaining pubert>', the aunt would felicitate the niece with a saree- blouse, fruits, flowers, coconut etc.

In return, during the marriage of the niece, the aunt would be felicitated by the gi oom’s part>' by giving her a saree (Atyechiree) as a token of honour.

There was one case which indicates how a female child was accepted by the family. The wife of

Visajipant Lele of , delivered a son. Her sister delivered a daughter at the same time. Her sister having desire for a son, the sisters exchanged their babies secretly. TTiis exchange took place within first few days, but the secret was out within a couple of months. Lele’s brother-in-law had wished for a son too, but not in ext.!iange, so he complained to the Peshwa about the matter. The infants were restored to their respective parents. Visajipant was happy to have his son Tlie case needs no comments.

Rajasbiii, second wife of Chatrapati Rajaram, delivered a daughter, called Soyarabai. At that time, Girjoji

Yadav was the chief of the Private chambers (Sarhavaldar), and as such, when he conveyed this news to the father, he was promised the grant of Deshmukhi of turf Umbraj and turf Targaon in the district of Karhad.

Girjoji paid 2000 Hons (gold coins) as Slienii (a present by a successful suitor in a litigation) and received in person the documents on 15 January 1692 A.D.

Pumsavan ritual, prescribed for procuring the birth of a son was very popular. , son of and Yesubai had a daughter, Bhavanibai, bom on 4-9-1678 A.D. Wishing ^ov son, Putmkatneshti Yadnya

(a sacrifice with a wish for a son) v\ is performed at Shrungarpur. Lato' a son, Shivaji or Shahu was bom on 18-5-1682 A.D. However, no such ritual was prescribed or performed for the birth of a daughter.

68 Childhood games :

A girl would not play any strenuous games for she was considered a delicate darling; her whole life was

spent amongst the four walls of her home and ho: play was in accordance with it There were toys and playthings

' made both of wood and earthenware, which were not perfect and ingenious as those used by European

children^^^.

Every girl, whether rich or poor, had dolls to play with; some having more than one. Those who could

afford, had dolls made of ivory and even delicate ones made of glass. Ivoiy and glass dolls would not be easily

available in the markets of Pune, hence, Radliabai writes to Chi.najiappa, residing at the capital city i fSatara, to

send ivory and glass dolls for children’s play Most of than, who could not afford the dolls of any kind, did

- play itli dolls made of rags.

Another common play was Bhatukali; or mock cooking fancy recipes out of basic material like rice

' flakes; jaggar>’; peanuts etc. Irnagination would be stretched to prepare various dishes out of such limited

material, .^andibai Raghunath had been allotted one house as her Bhaiukali House, which even today exists at

122, Shanivvar Peth, Pune. It was sold to Parchure and from him to the present owner Date.(l 1). All these plays

" were a practice of playing the roles of wife and motha- in^ the near future.

ITie girls did go out in the open occasionally, like on the Nagapanchami Day to play on the swings tied to

the trees at the river side, but generally they played at home. ITie joint family system supplied them company and

tliere was no need to go out.

Books were rare and expensive. Few cultured and rich families, who had resources employed teacha-s for

)r iJieir daugiitcTs; oUiei s learnt Iroin tlieir elderly male mernbei s like father, brolliers or uncles.

69 Thei'e was no need to leam s;titcliing of any clotJies; quilts made out of different pieces of cloth and rholi or blouse of nine pieces were all she needed to leam. Some Muslim girls were taught embroidery' of silk ind Zai'i work (gold thi eads) and even earned a livelihood out of it.

Every girl aimed at being a competent house-wife to which she was well trained at

Women in the Peshwa family and royal and noble families were literate; letters written by them are available and they could read the scriptures. They were married at the age of 8/9 years and their marital family arranged for their training if they were not taught in their natal one.

Sagunabai Peshwe, (1759-1783 A.D.) wife of tlie youngest son of Bajirao I, Janardhanrao, became a widow at the age of 10 years and survived her husband for 34 years. She had a large library which after her death ! was merged in the Peshwa library. Her library had books on spiritual and philosophical subjects, to suit her widowed status. Her manbership oi the Peshwa family enabled her to collect books which even the historians have taken note of. T

Sambhajirao Jadhav had a large libraiy and provided books to the families, his brother Pilajirao

(13) Jadhav providing them to Bajirao I .

Letters of Yesubai, wife of Chatrapati Sambhaji, Maharani , widow of Rajaram, Sagunabai and

Sakawarbai, Queens of Chatrapati Shahu, women of Phalake, Holkar, Dhabhade, Shinde families, are available and show that they were not only literate but had knowledge of current politics.

Venubai Pethe, daughter of .Anutai Ghorpade and wife the nobleman Trimbakmama Pethe, who lived in

Pune ,used to write and inform her mother news of domestic interest and current politics in the same letter; although she was not interested in politics herseif. ,'\nandibai Raghunath was an expert enough in politics, to wiUTi ill her letters Nana Phadnavis and Sakluu'ainbapu Bokil, tliemselves state councillors, all show tJiat tlie>' w ae literate.

70 ^ Men were at wars all around the year and their wives found it necessary to convey them domestic news

"“and receive instructions regarding the domestic affairs. Widows found it necessary to read scriptures. Few

Muslim women were literate; Meherbai, widow of Samsherbahadur, son of Bajirao- , writes to her son

Alijabaliadur, in 1790 A.D., to send her copies of Korcui with large lettering; which shows Uiat these women did

^not Just prayed Namaz but also read Koran. Her letters to her son are published in Marathi Daflar Rumal 3

'V- page 156.

Girls in the ruling and other Maratha noble families were taught military and some basic administrative

training. Most of them successfully administered the properties of their husbands in their absaice or after their wdeath and during the minority of their sons. Horse-riding was a necessity, as the means of travel was on horse

""back.

^ Bhimabai, daughter of Yeshwantrao Holkar, told Sir that it was an incumbent duty of a

Maratha Princess to lead her troops/army in person, to the battle-fields, when there was no husband or son to do

( 14) „ so ^ .

Mahadaji Shinde had adopted Daulatrao, a nephew, before his death, who on succession, deserted the

adopted mothers, Laxmibai and Yamunabai. The widows revolted for their rights, tlie first one of its kind in

- ^ ^ history, and collected an army. Both of them were good horse-women and could use weapons. They pa-sonally

^ lead tiieir army on the battle-fields

When Raghobadada, encouraged by her Diwan Gangobatatya Chandrachud, tried to invade the province

of , .^ilyabai Holkar met him with iier women’s’ (Kunbin) arm>’. Her female soldiers rode horses well

Tai Telin, mistress of Pant Pratinidhi, fouglit on her master’s side; against the Peshwa chief, Bapu

Gokhale for 8 months before she had to surrender the fort to him.

Even Brahmin women were trained in horse riding. Scott Wering had witnessed personally and describes

( 16) the wife of the last Peshwa Baiirao II. galloping her horse amongst large crowd on the sh-eets of Pune

71 v.jiauciijaii oiioiiu i> iiiiiiiiuy cuici, ,:>eiunijiasnriei iviiaiiuerao uaonaue s wiaow, uinaoai, successiuiiy

managed his chieftain’s post atler his death, as her son was minor. In 1732 A.D. she marched on .^^hmadabad and

det'ealed the Paihan army. Dressed in white, she mounted an elephant and was in the midst of her army. Shahu

invited her to Satara and felicitated her in a special Daibar, in her honour and presented her gold anklets, a sign

of great honour

Tajabai, widow of Rajaram, resisted tiie invasions of for not less than 7 years. She was then

only 25 years of age

A woman was expected to managed her house-hold, take care of the members of tlie family, bear and rear

childrai and nothing more. She was needed to do so socially and by her family. A girl to be married was

expected to cook simple dishes such as cuiTy-rice; sweep the floors; look after the children, like feeding and

' bathing them; preparation of daily worship of family deities etc.

However, attested by tlie letters and incidental references in other documents, it seems that women of tlie

royal and noble classes were generally literate. But one does not know much about the nature and scope of their

instjuctions. They were, it seems, pretty familiar with religious literature.

It is ver\' likely that their instruction was generally confined to the practical knowledge of reading and

writing, so far as writing was concerned, they probably were taught only Balbodh script characters. Tlie study of

Khdi script formed a special feature of the course of elementaiy instructions. It was important, as in those days,

tlial was the only script of general and official correspondence. Since knew only Balbodh script, her

son Madhiivrao I would write lettei s to hei’ in Balbodli script

file development of women’s education is always integjally linked with the perception of roles within tlie

society in which she lives. Ihe overall attitude was and is that women should be trained not for careers but to be

good wives and competent niotliers. Tlieir only aim in life should be that of being good homemakers.

72 Women were usually unlettered, but diey could not be described as uncultured. A vvoiTjan's child-liood

waslimited.lt would be ovei'ver)’soon. She would be 4--5 years of age and old enough to be a bride. One

day, she would be married without understanding its consequences or significance. iShe would stay in the natal

- family till she attained pubeity. Occasionally, she would visit hei' marital home for religious functions or r nian iage ceremonies, althougli tliat was not a hard iind fast rule. Yesubai, wife of Chatrapati Sambhaji, stayed in

her marital home and was trained by her grand-mother-in-law, .

It seems childhood was tlie most happiest stage in women’s’ life. Child marriages were in vogue, hence

_ she spent veiy few years in the natal family and carried with her all the happy memories to her matrimonial

- home. It was a sort of reservoir, from which she dug out stiength to bear and suffer the diudgery of her

mati imonial life

— XXX — Reference List:

1. Upadhyaya Kashinatlishastri, DharmasindluA, G. V. Raghuvanshi, Ghatkopar, Bombay, original copy

1790-91 A.D. Raghuvanshi printed 1st edition on 12-4-1979, 2nd edition on 16-7-1979. p.517.

2. Kathasarita - Sagar p.628. Altekar Dr. A. S. Position o f Women in Hindu CiviliscUion, Banarasidass, 2nd

edi (hereii> after Altekai), p.24.

3. Kliare V.V. Aitiliasik LekJi SangraJia, Vols. 1-12. ( herein after A.L.S.) Vol. 3. letter nos. 813 and 285.

4. R.P.P.S. p .l8.

5. P.D. Vol. 18. letterno2. p.l.

6. Deshmukh. p. 224.

7 Pavvar Prof. Jayasinglirao, Maharani Tarabai, Tararani Vidyapeeth Prakashan, , 1975, p.39.

8. Gokhale Dr. Kamal, Shivaputra Sambhaji, Pune 1971, p. 43.

9. Taylor Meadows, History O f , Bombay, 1896, p. 15.

10. P.D. Vol. 9. p. 17.

11. OakP.G. Diirdevi Pesfiwe, ClmrUra, Pune. p. 10.

1 2 Taylor Meadows, HLvtory O f India. Bombay, 1896. p. 16.

13. B h a v e . p. 107. 14. Scottvvearing, Reminiscences in Indian Officials, p. 89.

15. Marathi Riyasat, Uttar Vibhag, Vol. 3. p.70.

16. Deslimukh. p. 52.

17. Sardesai Maya, l\/{aharasfura Saudamini, Pune, 1967, p. 148-49.

18. Sardesai S.G. Stlurbudlu Rajai-am, 1936, p. 122-149.

19. Oak. p. 83.

— XXX —

75