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The Role of Mentalized Affectivity in Romantic Love and Relationship Satisfaction City University of New York (CUNY) CUNY Academic Works Dissertations, Theses, and Capstone Projects CUNY Graduate Center 9-2020 The Role of Mentalized Affectivity in Romantic Love and Relationship Satisfaction Camilla P. Hegsted The Graduate Center, City University of New York How does access to this work benefit ou?y Let us know! More information about this work at: https://academicworks.cuny.edu/gc_etds/4085 Discover additional works at: https://academicworks.cuny.edu This work is made publicly available by the City University of New York (CUNY). Contact: [email protected] THE ROLE OF MENTALIZED AFFECTIVITY IN ROMANTIC LOVE AND RELATIONSHIP SATISFACTION by CAMILLA PORTER HEGSTED A dissertation submitted to the Graduate Faculty in Psychology in partial fulfillment of the requirements for the degree of Doctor of Philosophy, The City University of New York 2020 © 2020 CAMILLA PORTER HEGSTED All Rights Reserved ii The Role of Mentalized Affectivity in Romantic Love and Relationship Satisfaction by Camilla Porter Hegsted This manuscript has been read and accepted for the Graduate Faculty in Psychology in satisfaction of the dissertation requirement for the degree of Doctor of Philosophy. ______________________ ________________________________________ Date Elliot Jurist Chair of Examining Committee ______________________ ________________________________________ Date Richard Bodnar Executive Officer Supervisory Committee: Elliot Jurist, Ph.D. Steven Tuber, Ph.D. Lissa Weinstein, Ph.D. THE CITY UNIVERSITY OF NEW YORK iii ABSTRACT The Role of Mentalized Affectivity in Romantic Love and Relationship Satisfaction by: Camilla Porter Hegsted Advisor: Elliot Jurist Introduction: The role that mentalized affectivity plays in the relationship between ​ romance love and relationship satisfaction was investigated. Methods: 504 participants ​ ​ completed three measures: Mentalized Affectivity Scale, Adapted Triangular Love Scale, and the Relationship Assessment Scale. Results: A number of relationships among the ​ ​ variables was found. However, the processing variable of mentalized affectivity did not moderate the relationship between the intimacy and relationship satisfaction variables. Conclusion: Possible reasons for this finding are discussed. Results show the importance of ​ modulating ability on romantic relationships: being better skilled at modulating one’s affects and emotions predicts greater intimacy levels in relationships as well as greater levels of relationship satisfaction. iv This dissertation is dedicated to Julie. She watched me dream this dream so long ago and from its very first beginnings has encouraged, supported and loved me throughout my quest to achieve it. My dream flourished and sped along with ease, went through a series of catastrophic events and was nearly extinguished, until it rose like a phoenix to become a realized dream. With immeasurable gratitude, appreciation, and my deepest love for your unwavering presence, this is dedicated to you. v ACKNOWLEDGMENTS I would like to acknowledge my advisor, Elliot Jurist, for allowing me to join his mentalization working group and encouraging me to come back to the program and complete my degree. Steve Tuber, for allowing me to come back after much time away to complete my degree. Without either of these two people, taking a risk themselves, and allowing me to come back, my dream of finishing this degree would have died. Thank you so very much for the opportunity. I’d like to thank my entire committee Elliot Jurist, Steve Tuber, Lissa Weinstein, Katherine Stavrianopoulos and Joseph Reynoso for their time, insight, thoughtful suggestions and clinical insights. I would like to thank Sarai Batchelder for her immeasurable help, outstanding competence and wonderful soothing presence. With Sarai, everything was suddenly possible. My greatest gratitude to you! To Jeff Rosen: With you, I learned a hard lesson the hardest way.. I am grateful for your years of dedication and the learning and the lessons you provided me. To my close friends during my formative clinical years: Dan Grady and Zoya Simakhodskaya thank you for the endless study hours, the friendship and the closeness. To my new clinical friends during the past several years: thank you for accepting me into your folds and for sharing yourselves with me. To so many friends who have helped me with childcare or pick-up in order for me to work on this dissertation in some format. I am so appreciative! To my grandparents: Thank you for being an example of how crucial it is to find your purpose and your passions. I am so grateful to have had so many years to internalize you and your life lessons. To my mother: You’d be so proud. Thank you for loving me sweetly, for telling me how smart you thought I was all the time, for letting me know you thought I was capable of it all. Your belief that I could reach my stars, made me truly feel that I could. vi To my beloved girls: Thank you for inspiring me to keep chasing this dream, you provided so much incentive! I wanted to be an example for you of resilience and grit. I wanted to show you how important it is to pursue your passion . I wanted to show you what to do if things go awry, of how to recover and find a new way. I used your light when I got lost. vii TABLE OF CONTENTS Page ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS vi CHAPTER I: INTRODUCTION 1 CHAPTER II: LITERATURE REVIEW 7 Romantic Love 7 Sternberg’s Triangular Theory of Love 10 Passion 12 Intimacy 15 Decision/Commitment 21 Empirical Research Related to Romantic Love 22 Relationship Satisfaction 23 Emotion Regulation 24 Mentalization 26 Co-Regulation in Adult Relationships 27 Mentalized Affectivity 29 Conclusion 32 viii TABLE OF CONTENTS Page 34 CHAPTER III: METHODS 34 Procedure 35 Instrumentation 35 Demographic Information 35 Measure 35 Adapted Triangular Love Scale 36 Relationship Assessment Scale 37 Mentalized Affectivity Scale 37 Participants 38 Hypotheses 39 Research Questions 40 Variables 40 Independent Variables 40 Dependent Variable 40 Moderator Variable ix TABLE OF CONTENTS 40 Data Analysis Plan 41 CHAPTER IV: RESULTS 41 Preliminary Analyses 41 Reliability 41 Descriptive Statistics Relationship of Demographic and Background Variables to 42 Dependent and Mediator Variables Hypothesis Tests 44 Hypothesis 1 44 Hypothesis 2 44 Hypothesis 3 44 Hypothesis 4 45 Research Questions 45 Research Question 1 45 Research Question 2 46 Research Question 3 47 x TABLE OF CONTENTS Page Research Question 4 48 CHAPTER V: DISCUSSION 50 Summarization and Discussion Findings 50 Implications 56 Limitations 57 Directions for Future Research 57 Conclusions 58 APPENDIX A 60 APPENDIX B 65 APPENDIX C 80 REFERENCES 87 xi LIST OF TABLES Table Page 1 Sternberg’s Types of Love as Components of Intimacy, Passion, and Commitment 66 2 Alpha Coefficients 67 3 Descriptive statistics for the sample (N = 504) 68 4 Correlations Amongst the Subscales 69 5 Analysis of variance: differences by gender (4 groups) 70 6 Difference in Dependent and Mediating Variables Based on Ethnicity 71 7 Pearson Correlations: Age 72 8 Pearson Correlations: Relationship Length 73 9 Spearman’s rho correlations: Education 74 10 Spearman correlations: Income 75 11 Hierarchical Regression Analysis Predicting Relationship Satisfaction from 3 ATLS Subscales. 76 12 Regression Analysis: Intimacy Predicting Relationship Satisfaction, Moderated by Processing 77 13 Regression Analysis: Intimacy Predicting Relationship Satisfaction, Moderated by Identifying 78 14 Regression Analysis: Intimacy Predicting Relationship Satisfaction, Moderated by Expressing 79 xii LIST OF FIGURES Figure Page 1 Proposed Moderating Model for Hypothesis 4 81 2 Graphical Results of Relationship Among Relationship 82 Satisfaction, Intimacy, and Processing 3 Graphical Results of Relationship Among Relationship 83 Satisfaction, Intimacy, and Identifying 4 Graphical Results of Relationship Among Relationship 84 Satisfaction, Intimacy, and Expressing 5 Dual Moderator Model for Research Question 4 85 6 Moderated Moderation Model for Research Question 4 86 xiii INTRODUCTION This dissertation is an examination of the role that mentalized affectivity plays in the relationship between romantic love and the satisfaction of romantic relationships. It ​ ​ originated out of my long-term interest in romantic love and romantic relationships. How do we love? Who do we choose? Why do relationships work or not work? What sustains relationships? My prior research was about how women form primary romantic relationships. During the years of 2002-2006, I conducted a qualitative study and interviewed a small cohort of 10 women to find out about their romantic relationships; I wanted to know why they felt they were in their relationship and why they thought that this relationship “worked” or didn’t “work”. At the time, the women were my cohorts: all between the ages of 28-40, residing in New York City or its boroughs, and were all in a relationship of at least a year’s duration. The self-identified gay, straight and bisexual participants were interviewed twice and each interview was an hour and a half (Hegsted, unpublished research). Through this study, I found that the women’s reasons for choosing to be in their respective relationships had no one discernable reason. Moreover, the reasons might be best described as each woman needed the aspect of her wished for romantic relationship ​ ​ present in the relationship, and if that aspect were going well, the relationship was satisfying to her but if that element was not present or was unsatisfying, the
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