Classic Commemoration

Last Wednesday brought out the gowns By Ed Sexton ber of building projects the college has and relatives for Imperial's annual Com undertaken in the last few years, the memoration Day, when the year's grad Rector explained that there was more to uates arc processed in front of their come in the College's five year refur constituent college's dean in the Royal bishment plan, which would "probably Albert Hall. It was also the occasion for cost more than £100 million". the presentation of three new fellows to the presentation of graduates to the college,- Professor John Archer, Pro their Deans then followed. Many grad fessor Nay Htun and Professor J Trevor uates had brought along reading mate Stuart. rial to keep them occupied during what the day commemorates the visit of is renowned for being a long afternoon. King George VI and Queen Elizabeth In the end, however, the presentation (now the Queen Mother) to the college was over reasonably quickly, helped by in 1945. to celebrate the centenary of the the orator tcading out the names of the foundation of the Royal College of Chem ICSM graduates quicker than they could istry. The afternoon began shortly after cross the stage. 2pm with a procession of the Deans, Pro Rectors and other dignitaries. David Hellard, ICU President, opened the cer Photo montage on page 3 emony with a short speech, before the Rector, Sir Ronald Oxburgh, gave the address. Commenting on the vast num- Photo: William Students perfect their image for the official photographer

Racism Rife in Medical Schools Inside...

have emerged as completely impartial. ing that its selection process is unbiased By Andrew Ofori The table is to be placed on the Internet, and appropriate for its educational role." Letters 6 arousing fears that the selection of non- WadeGayed, ICSM Union President, The name of London's medical schools while students will be affected. One condemned the blacklisting of the col Editorial & RAG 7 has been muddied this week, as allega ICSM student told Felix that a number of lege as "absolute horseshit." Adopting tions of institutionalised racism circulate. his contemporaries refused to apply lo St the line taken by many of the named and Columns 8 The medical fraternity has been stunned Mary's "because of its reputation". The shamed medical schools, Gaycd was by the results of a new report complied McManus report also revealed that male insistent that the admissions statistics Elections 10 by UCL's Prof McManus, formerly an IC applicants were at a disadvantage when were a more than adequate contradic affiliate, as recently reported in The applying for medicine. tion to the McManus report. He viewed Cartoon 12 Guardian. It claims two-thirds of the 27 Prof McManus is somewhat con ICSM as "culturally diverse" and failed to medical schools admitting students dis cerned with his findings stating "Ihe dis sec how an analysis of last year's admis Computer Games 13 played discrimination against ethnic advantage of non-white applicants and sions figures could be associated with a minority applicants. of males would be construed as prima newly instituted school. He went on to Arts 14 The report was commissioned by facie evidence under the Race Relations describe the ICSM admission office's the Council of Heads of Medical Schools Act 1976 and the Sex Discrimination Act new initiative lo create an admissions Music 18 as a response to rumours of racism, 1975." policy "so transparent, if any member of which have been pervading medical Various parties from medical acade- the public dares to come and look there's Clubbing 22 schools for over a decade. It compared mia have called the report's legitimacy no way they can turn around and say the proportion of ethnic 17 and 18 year inlo question, faulting the omission of your being racist." Film 24 olds who applied to the proportion that factors such as GCSt results, A1 Level pre Other medical schools 'black- received offers; the result was a league dictions and the social aspect of appli marked' such as UCL and Leeds were IC Radio 25 table highlighting the schools which cants when drawing its conclusions. quick lo join the; chorus of indignant were deemed to show bias against eth Imperial College claims to have denial with a Leed's representative Clubs & Diversions 26 nic minorities. Imperial College has been taken the findings into consideration, explaining that they attach "the highest 'black-marked' along with UCL, King's but states that the medical admissions priority to ensuring lhat procedures for Sports 27 London, St. George's Hospital, Leeds, procedure is in a state of reform as a recruiting are impartial, fair and objec Leicester and Manchester, in contrast to result of the recent merger. The college tive." XWord & Comps 28 schools like Bristol and Newcastle that maintains "ICSM is committed to ensur 2 News 2 November 1998 King's Lose Their Roar In brief... By Brett Donovan with students and others using the fac ulty bathrooms to perform sexual acts. It In a highly contentious series of events, reports of "eye witnesses seeing cubicles Medical Correction ROAR, the King's College Student News wobble". The issue was regarded by paper, has recently received a mention many King's students as "the best issue A number of inaccuracies in last week's Issue 1124 in the House Of Lords. It transpires that yet, with all 5,000 copies being snapped story headed 'Medics Blow Cash' have Baroness Rawlings was, as usual, mailed up in record time". Equally astonishing come to light since the article went to 2 November 1998 a copy of the publication and was was the low number of complaints; press. enraged by the nature of its front page. apparently "five out of a total student Firstly, the aborted graduation ball Editor: Ed Sexton The 7 October release featured an arti population of 18,000 and no complaints was not organised by the Imperial Col Photographic Editor: William Lorenz cle on the problems of 'cottaging' within from the homosexual community". All lege School of Medicine Rugby squad, Music Editors: Jason Ramanathan and college premises. The expose resulted five complaints were made by medics, and indeed did not have any connection Denis Patrickson in a month's suspension for the editor, some objecting to the additional graphic with the team. The Rugby squad arc in News Editors: Andy Ofori in the female section depicting the cli the process of organising their own win Him Lditor: David Roberts toris. Many just can't see any problem ter ball, which has been organised Games Editor: Gary Smith with the publication with a number of according to the correct procedures and Arts Editor: Helena Cocheme people congratulating the ROAR team. has been planned since last July. Sports Editor: Gus Paul However this suspension has left the Secondly, after negotiations students without the next two issues of between ICU and the hotel in question, Assault Charge the fortnightly publication. The fate of the amount lost as a result of cancella Matthews lies in the hands of King's stu tion fell from £7500 to £3000. Reports have been coming in of a scuf dent parliament and a potential vote of Thirdly, the Medical Freshers Ball, fle at the well known medics' nightspot no confidence, and hence a sacking. over which concern was expressed in the Hombres' last week. A rather merry Inside sources suggest that at the very last issue, proved to be a great achieve fresher was knocked to the ground and least Matthews will have to compromise ment. Over five hundred people responded with a swift punch, unfortu ROAR's content, this may involve the attended, with many declaring the ball nately selecting the wrong individual as president of the union having to oversee one of the best they'd ever been to. Con his assailant, resulting in a charge of the publication before it is finalised for sequently, despite the last minute organ ABH. printing. Matthews explained to Felix isation, the event was both a financial that he was "simply trying to entertain and social success. Cycling Crackdown the students". These events may insti The controversial cover gate further repercussions for other stu More Suspect Speakers Local Police are warning IC students to dent newspapers. avoid being caught out by Kensington & Rupert Matthews. The punishment was Dodgy white vans were out in force Chelsea Council's latest crackdown. The decided upon at a disciplinary commit once again this week. Operating from a Council have decided that the greatest tee on grounds of contravening King's different van to last week, a white 5ft 6" social problem facing the local citizenry equal opportunity policy. male with an Irish accent, black jeans and is that of cycling on pavements. Eschew The cover story tells of a problem quilted jacket was selling video recorders ing the traditional targets of drugs, mug and TVs. Speakers seem to have been ging, murder and rape, the Council have removed from this week's menu. One instructed our local Met to charge all student was approached and offered those caught indulging in this heinous Consoc Hosts Howard these suspect goods, being threatened act, with stiff fines awaiting the guilty. after sensibly proclaiming "our student Silly as this may sound, it has already By Brett Donovan newspaper has run a story about you, I'm resulted in the prosecution of at least off to phone the police". As before, one IC student, who was fined £75. So, The Conservative society played host to felix's advice is; don't hand over any unless you too want to end up seriously the Rt. Honourable Michael Howard MP money or get into the vehicle, and out of pocket, cycling should be confined this past Wednesday. Howard, the report any encounter to us as soon as to roads and dedicated cycle paths for shadow foreign secretary started by giv possible or, if violence is threatened, to the foreseeable future. ing an anecdotal story about the disap the authorities. pearance of Humphrey 'the downing Hustings street cat' and went on to give a refined BMS Sounds Bad summary of the fallibility of New Labour. Question and Answer sessions for the He spoke of the current financial situa ICSM second years from Charing Cross candidates for the Deputy President tion facing us, including rising un were left decidedly unimpressed with (Clubs & Societies) election will take place employment and high interest rates. He the new BMS building on Wednesday. on the three main campuses this week. devoted time to talk on single currency The building, which has so far been Today, hustings will take place in issues and Europe with sound reasons dogged with problems, certainly lived South Ken, at 6pm in dB's. On Tuesday and plenty of examples illustrating why up to its reputation. Uncomfortable seat those involved move to Charing Cross, not to opt for the single currency whilst Michael Howard makes his point ing, dodgy sound systems and unpre where hustings will take place at 6pm in defending the party's stance on 'no entry' dictable alarms marred the first lecture the Reynolds Building. Finally, on as opposed to the wait and see Howard. Anyone can attend a speaker on the new site. The morning was inter Wednesday St Mary's hospital plays host, approach. Much of his visit was spent meeting, the next one is the 4 Novem rupted by whistling and lesling mes with candidates gatheting at 6pm in answering questions on wildly varying ber (1pm -2pm) with Dr Liam Fox MP. sages from an unknown source, Gladys'. subjects, with interesting and amusing Details nearer time. followed by a constant hissing and whin banter between the students and ing from the microphone and speakers.

Felix, Beit Quad, Prince Consort Road, London SW7 2BB internal tel: 58072 Internal fax: 48072 External tel & fax: 0171 594 8072 URL: www.su.icac.uk/Felix E-mail: [email protected] Printed at MCP Litho I imited. Units B2 & B3, I latton Square, 16 -16a Baldwins Gardens, London LCI N 7RJ Felix is a registered newspaper: ISSN 1040 - 0711 Felix is produced for and on behalf of Imperial College Union Publication Board. Copyright © Felix 1998. Photographic copyrights remain with photographers. LSE Threatens ULU Divorce

By David Roberts the meeting, stated "I'd be stupid to leave without a second vote". Clearly, this raises questions over the real motives In a shock move first announced less behind the referendum. than two weeks ago, students at the I he entire process has also been London School of Economics went to dogged by accusations of deliberate the poles last Wednesday and Thursday withholding of information by LSE Union to vote on a referendum proposing dis sabbaticals. Concern has been voiced affiliation from University of London by many over the ignorance of average Union. Although the result was not LSE students - only 28 people turned up revealed until after Felix went to press, at a debate on the issue held last lues- a 'Yes' outcome was strongly suspected. day night, and some spoke of "only two The referendum itself has been or three posters advertising the referen drafted by the LSEU sabbaticals and dum anywhere in LSE". Indeed many of

Executive, and asks for backing to leave those present at the debate had been ULU, provided that three conditions are informed that it was taking place by ULU, met. Lirstly, all money currently paid to not LSLU. Furthermore, Beaver [the LSL ULU must be diverted back to LSEU (At students' newspaper) has been criticised : present a £16 000 negotiable payment is A}&id:A ™ for its alleged bias in coverage of the made from LSE to ULU, whilst the remain issue - which included a clear recom der of LSE's £70 000 affiliation fee is paid mendation to vote "Yes" in the editorial. directly by the Higher Education Funding LSEU figurehead Narius Aga blamed the Council). Secondly, a new representa absence of an effective "No" campaign tive body for all London students must be : :::: W ^ i: on the simple fact that no LSE student set up. Thirdly, all LSLU sports teams Photo: Jonas LSE students carry on the daily grind wanted to run the campaign. must be able find new leagues to play in. Whatever the outcome, the process At present the entire London League LSEU campaigners citing ULU's poor ULU called their bluff, this, it is rumoured, itself will have important knock-on effects system is administered by ULU, and LSE record on campaigning, and their is the reason behind the vague nature of for all ULU Colleges. Whilst LSE may ulti have been told that if they disaffiliate allegedly undemocratic system of gov the proposal put before LSE students. mately be forced to stay in ULU simply to they will be forced to leave the Leagues. ernance. However, belief is growing In any case, LSE cannot leave ULU retain access to their gym and swim Only once successful fulfilment of these amongst senior sources that LSEU only until 2000, as their current contract does ming pool, those Colleges with their own three points can be guaranteed will LSE began the disaffiliation process as a bar not expire for another three years. Fur facilities - Imperial included - could soon be able to leave ULU. gaining chip against ULU - which they thermore, LSL President General Secre be looking toward life outside ULU with Explanations for the move vary, with were then forced to carry through when tary Narius Aga, speaking to Felix after more than just a passing interest. News 2 November 1998 Beer Fest in Trouble Malaysian Total Recall

By Gareth Morgan By Sunil Rao but maintains that this only applies to "under-performing" A-level students. Ear The RCSU Beer Festival, usually the year's The collapse of the 'tiger' Malaysian lier reports had indicated that a large pro most successful RAG event, has been economy has left many students fearing portion of students reading Arts-related postponed indefinitely, because there is recall to their home country, the num subjects or at less prestigious Universities currently nowhere to hold it. In the past ber of Malaysian students arriving in would face recall. the JCR has been used, but the Director : ... i. Britain in January and February 1998 was Some Universities, heavily depen of Catering and Conferences, John fos already down 50% compared with the dent on the large sums paid by overseas ter, has stated that in view of the recent previous year. It is estimated that a sim students, are anxiously looking to pro refurbishment it is no longer suitable; ilar drop will be noticed again next year. vide less expensive distance-learning consequently an alternative venue With funding for students quickly evap schemes in franchise with local colleges should be found. One candidate is the orating, reports have emerged of stu within Malaysia. This has led to worries Union Concert Hall. Unfortunately, the dents being forced to return home or in some circles that the end result might space and time needed for the festival - Photo; Alikl Student morale falters as look for alternative sources of funding be a fall in the standard of the 'British fifty different beers, ciders and perries JCR. dries up such as scholarships. Moreover, it was degree'. On the other hand, if rigorous which take five days to set up and settle reported in April that nearly 300 students standards are maintained, this endeav - mean that neither this nor various other ident David Hellard has been negotiating had applied to the tducation Ministry of our might give many students the oth college areas are suitable. RCSU VP Bob with the College over the issue, and Malaysia to return home to complete erwise unavailable opportunity to obtain Walker, who is organising the festival, hopes to persuade the Catering depart Iheir education there. a world-class degree. admits that Mr foster has a point; the ment lhat the JCR is the only realistic Britain remains the most popular A comprehensive website featuring event will cause a lot of disruption and option. He said, "The JCR is a Union destination for students from Malaysia. links to the Asian Economic crisis can be mess. However, the JCR is the only room under the Memorandum of Under Nearly all are sponsored. However, fees found at http://headlines.yahoo.com/ licensed venue large enough for it. standing. Therefore it should be available for overseas students run at over £10,000 Full_Coverage/World/Aslan_Economic_ Unfortunately, Mr Foster was unavail for use by the Union for an event which per annum - not including other costs Woes/. The official website of the British able to comment on the situation. has kept RAG afloat in recent years." The such as accommodation, travel and Council in Malaysia can be found at The problems with the Beer Festival suggestion lhat Catering should donate books. This imposes an additional finan http://www.brltcoun.org.my/. This site will probably set RAG week back until an equivalent sum of money to that cial burden on a country already in the has information on scholarships. The next term, the I estival usually raises two raised by the Beer festival to RAG was grip of a major economic crisis. The official website of the Malaysian National or three thousand pounds, a significant politely declined. Malaysian Embassy admits that a number Recovery Pian is at http://mlr.com.my/ portion of RAGs total income. ICU Pres- of students have been sent back home lb/econ_plan/. NEED A COMPUTER?

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www.jpmorgan.com Letters 2 November 1998 Letters to Felix

In Defence of Estates beds were not eligible for aid under this Sort the SpOrtS Out! the/re staying otherwise. Ed scheme. However, as trees do feature Dear Editor, in the plan for the general beautification Dear Felix, of the South Kensington Campus, per And Finally... I read with some concern the article haps College will consider taking advan Please could you stop pissing about with which suggested that environmental tage of the offer. Judging by the cost of the back page -more sport less bollocks. At this point there should be a letter improvements arc a waste of money. the flower beds, it could amount to quite (A full page of a crap photocopied maze from The Censors' (?). Unfortunately May I suggest that in terms of £60 million a saving. really takes the piss.) Otherwise every no-one showed us a swipe card or Union of development, the sums involved are thing Is hunky-dory. card when submitting the letter, so wc relatively small, but of immense impor Martin O'Reilly are unable to print it. We still have the tance in terms of completing the Libraries Andrew Mayes. letter, and will gladly print it next week, development and the Sir Alexander Flem if the author(s) come in to the office ing Building. Change the Music II before noon on Wednesday with some More importantly, may I remind Felix Dear Felix appropriate identification. that the College has had an appalling rep Dear Ed, utation with the local planning commit Considering the cross country club sent tees and that they expect us to act In replying to Tim Wright's letter In Felix in a full report, we thought you'd have responsibely towards our own environ about the "indie shite" played in dBs on the courtesy to print it rather than fill the ment. The article in Felix may, if seen by a Wednesday night, I think Mark Home back page (usually reserved for sport) Deadline for letters is local Councillors, have sunk once again, has missed the point. The fact is that with Natalie Wood's irrelevant photo the sports centre development in Princes every Wednesday, the same old records copying. Felix Sport has sunk to a new 12noon Wednesday. Cadens, where maintaining a quality are played. It wouldn't be so bad if they low. The relationship between you and environment is of the highest priority. weren't always in the same order, or if the sports clubs is so bad that you'll Letters may be edited We in Estates Division are battling to the playlist had changed a bit since last never get a decent sports editor any achieve the best facilities for IC studente. year (OK, there are one or two new way. I wish Gus Paul luck. for length, but will not One of the benefits of the Queen's records). A lot of people have taken to visit was that for two days Imperial Col calling it "The Tape". Dave Robinson be altered in any other lege Road and the Queen's Lawn was And surely there must be a DJ out XC cleared of cars and given back to stu there with a little more imagination than way. Letters need not dents and staff. The whole environment to play "Dancing Queen" as the last 1) We did print the cross country report, was transformed - albeit briefly. record, every Wednesday! except for one sentence which was be signed, but a swipe edited out (one sentence of sport on a Yours Yours sincerely, separate page would looksilly, wouldn't card must be shown It?) lan Caldwell Paul Cole, 2) The back page Is not reserved for when submitting Director of Estates Mech Eng 4 sport - It used to be sport due to printing restrictions (the back page had to be anonymous letters. Firstly, I am not suggesting that environ printed last). These no longer apply. mental improvements are a waste of Spooky Coincedences? 3) A great deal of Interest has been money, merely that the current ones shown in "Natalie Wood's Irrelevant pho could have been done cheaper. Dear Sir, tocopying" but, granted, the crossword Secondly, whose fault Is It that "the will usually be on the back page along College has had an appalling reputation Further to the earlier excellent articles on with any other puzzles and prizes. with the local planning committees"? halloween, I would like to say that many 4) I am quite happy to have more Thirdly, I am flattered that the local cultures apart from our own dear sports articles - In fact, I reserve two council listen to the views expressed In Celtic/Judaeo-Christian society not only pages every week for sport. Strangely, these pages more than to those of feel that this is the time for commeration however, there never seem to be Estates, but I think most people would of the dead but also a festival of light - enough contributions to fill them...- Ed The Week Ahead find It a worrying state of affairs. perhaps bangs and flashes ward off evil Fourthly, I've never seen cars on the spirits. Not only do we have halloween, Monday Queen's Lawn, but It's nice that the cam but Guy Fawkes night probably is older Cartoons not Comic pus was given back to students for two than Guy Fawkes himself, and even the Games Meeting 12.30pm days - does this imply that It's not usually modern Armistice day appropriately falls Dear Ed Film Meeting 1.30pm run for them? - Ed around this time. As I said earlier, other cultures festivals of light fall around this Shame on you! I feel that I must com Tuesday time. The later festivals may be con plain about the tasteless comic strip from A Suggestion for nected with the winter solstice while the issue 1122. "Outcast Ben" was a failed News Meeting 1pm earlier ones are perhaps a natural reac attempt at smutty humour. Instead, the Estates tion to the encroachment of night into illustrations were crude, offensive and Thursday day following the autumn equinox. unworthy of your fine publication. We Dear Felix, are definitely not amused... Books Meeting 1pm Yours Sincerely An article in October's 'Westminster A disappointed fan Friday Reporter' reads: Joe Piggott (Royal School of Mines) "Residents, schools and businesses At last! I've been waiting for complaints Arts Meeting 12pm who want to mark the new millcnium by Can anyone be bothered to teach history about this for some time. Still, only one News Meeting 1.10pm planting a tree can now apply for a grant to this man? - Ed complaint over a week after the issue Photographic Meeting 1.20pm for 50% of the cost of the planting." was published? If you don't like this Music Meeting 1.30pm I realise that the recently laid flower week's comic, please let me know - 2 November 1998 Editorial & RAG Editorial Rag - What does it mean? Commemoration Day

Somehow I survived the events of A few friendly words from the new RAG Chair, Sarah Coburn, on what RAG Wednesday afternoon, only falling asleep once during the presentation of is and how you can help graduates In the Royal Albert Hall. Seri ously, though, well done to all those who attended the event, be they stu dents, their relatives, or staff. Congrat Hi, I'm the latest mug who gave in to the mag. (a generally offensive publication prize of free advertising in Felix for the ulations to all those who have graduated will to do something useful! Yep, I'm the that is sold to raise money during rag club which raises the most money by (in which case what are you reading latest rag chair. This means that you will week), or even honing your accounting holding a rag event. Let this be an this for?), and to the three new fellows be hearing a fair deal from me over the skills. encouragement for you to all to get of the college. May there commitment next year, if you don't I'm not doing my The charities that have been chosen fundraising! to Imperial College, which has brought job right! Rag is the society within the to be supported this year are, Sheller, What it ail comes down to though, them their fellowships, continue for union that does the charity fundraising. Imperial Cancer Research, Avert (aids is that, without any help this years rag many years to come. We're the ones who are supposed to do education and research), Irinily Hos won't be as successful as it could be. I his completely mad things and at the end of pice (Clapham), and IC Community would be a great shame as this years I Like Medics. Honest. it all we're allowed to say "it's for charity Action Group (Cag). charities are all very deserving. Please, mate"! Rag's fundraising happens all year please help, as there arc people who Felix has never had a good reputation This generally involves getting the round but are most prominent during rag need our help. among medics. Whatever the source of rest of London to part with as much of week. Rag week is a week full of slightly Anyone interested in helping should this ill-feeling, I would like to say that their hard earned (or in South Ken. not 'unusual' fundraising activities! this contact me (Sarah) at either Felix has absolutely no 'anti-Medic' pol quite so hard earned) cash as possible. includes a sponsored naked run from [email protected] or [email protected], icy. In fact, this year there are more I his is where you come in, see I'm Harrods to the Union, with a prize for the or on ext.58099. Alternatively I'm often medical students writing for Felix than in not here to ask you to part with your person who takes the longest! in the rag office at lunch times (the rag the last two. Ill-informed letters do not money, we all know we wouldn't get very This year a challenge has been set office is through the union dining hall on express the opinion of myself or the far if we did that! I'm here to ask you to for the clubs which belong to the Recre the right, or up the stairs in the back of newspaper - they merely show up the help us raise lots of money for good ational Clubs Committee (Amateur radio, dF3's and on the left). prejudiced members of the South Ken causes. This could mean being part of Canoeing, Origami, Riding, etc. Trust me P.S. Rag stands for raising and giving! campus for the small and twatty people the editorial team that produces the rag you'll know if you're in one!). There is a they are. I would like to say more on this subject... watch this space.

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hose of you with good memories agement. The flowerbed, while looking behold? Gentlemen, I didn't come down the Estates Division. I suspect that this Tfor bad television will have the saga undoubtedly resplendent, cannot be in the last shower, and nor did the rest was a slightly hasty comment, for if it con of Fallon from The Colbys and the judged in the same category; it is not a of Imperial. tains even a scintilla of truth, something aliens etched on your minds. Well, a sim student facility, though I suspect the Biol lan goes on to talk about the is very, very badly wrong with Sherfield. ilar thing happened to me recently. There ogy Department could conceivably find 'appalling reputation with the local plan We have dozens of well-paid people I was, writing the first column of the a use for it. It perfectly demonstrates ning committees' that the College has. charged with project design and plan year, when suddenly I was blinded by a the misguided strategy of Estates and Again, I am in complete agreement. I amning , whereas Felix is a bunch of jour bright light outlining the body of a their total miscomprehension of priori no expert in local government, but I nalistic waifs and strays. Honestly, I ask strange creature. My memory went ties. This morning, I stood in the cold out would suspect that the College's destruc you. blank, but when I regained my senses side the Chemistry building twice, the tion of some of the finest Victorian archi The BBC is, in my humble opinion, the first paragraph had been changed, result of an alarm system that does not tecture in London over the last thirty the finest broadcaster on the face of the such that it very closely resembled the work, staring at an arrangement of Chi years may, in some way, have con planet. In terms of quality, most of Aun equivalent piece from 1997. Very bizarre. nese granite tributed to the tie's competitors pose the sort of threat Not to worry, because I have since got and bedding problem. that Vanessa Leltz represents intellectu the local priest to give my laptop the plants, the Simon Baker Thankfully, ally to Stephen Hawking. However, once-over with a cloth doused in holy cost of which things arc recent times have been less than happy. water. The things I go through for this would have reme improving. The First, the defection of Barry Norman, place. died the problems BMS is a superb then Jimmy Hill and now the loss of the This article is taking a lot longer to that I and others building, and has cricket; frankly, if Richie 'God' Benaud write than usual, not for reasons of have endured for made a very posi doesn't follow the test matches to Chan writer's block, but more prosaically years. Ah, but the tive impact on the nel 4, I fear for the stability of this coun because my fingers are bloody frozen. As flowerbed and appearance of the try. Even Blue Peter has not remained I am aware, dear reader, of your concern other environmen College. Quite immune to the problems ensnaring the Corporation. The problem is that the BBC for my wellbeing, let me explain. Two fire tal improvements how the flowerbed is trying to be all things to all people, alarms within the space of less than an create a good can make any sig rather than sticking to what it does best, hour. TWO. Even someone as tolerant as impression for nificant difference setting the standards for the medium of yours truly is bound to lose his rag over those wishing to to the indescrib television. I suspect if we scrapped day this fiasco. Admittedly, the ineffective invest in the Col ably ugly Sherfield, time television- no longer needed since ness of the fire alarms in my department lege, I hear you cry Biochemistry and the advent of Welfare to Work- replacing is about as novel as the news that Ger (from Suite Five). Chemistry build it with quality repeats, the money saved many came second in 1966, but it bears Absolute rubbish. ings is beyond me. would have met the cricket shortfall; the repeating as it links in nicely with the let What might well The College only daily oil slick on Kilroy exuded from the ter from my good friend, lan Caldwell. Mr have an impact on has itself to blame presenter must alone costs millions each C does not believe 'environmental College funding Is for the poor stand year to deal with safely. I understand improvements are a waste of money.' I the constant ing with plan that Blue Peter's problems are already agree. All these years, he has fended off interruption of ners. This will being addressed. Cost is not the issue my criticism, but that agreement should important Voice of Reason only improve here, but rather the maturity of the pre have given the old boy a heart attack. I meetings with as the quality senters, and the unfortunate conse can think of many projects that have potential benefactors caused by false of building design takes a turn for the quences that have entailed from lines of improved the environment of Imperial. alarms, which has already happened. better. The BMS marks the start of this, coke that Richard Bacon made earlier. For example, the JCR refurbishment has Perhaps the Pro Rector (Research Con so I feel lan is being overly pessimistic on The Beeb feels that a return to older fig transformed one of the most shabby, tracts) would care to pose the following this front. As for the implication that Felix ures, cast in the mould of Valerie Sin inadequate parts of the College. The question to recent industrial donors: Did is 'shooting us in the foot,1 [from corre gleton and John Noakes, should do the SCR, which looks and smells like a sub you choose to support Imperial College spondence between Messrs Caldwell trick. Apparently, their first choice for standard school canteen would benefit because a) it has a first-rate track record; and Baker - Ed] I am, as a chief trouble such an avuncular figure was Frank from similar investment, as would the b) the calibre of the people is outstand maker, terribly flattered. I had no idea Bough, but sadly his agent said that he MDH, though any change there should ing; c) the research facilities are excellent; that I and my fellow wordsmiths had was tied up. be accompanied by a change of man- d) the herbaceous borders are a sight to more sway with our local councillors than Medicine Matters Nick Newton

t is time to have a rant against the Either the students at IC are clever, in laughable evidence of censure by bar their customers get in the way of profit, powers of IC concerning their atti which case they arc capable of keeping staff could be dismissed, if it were not for which is after all, the only way to run a tude towards student behaviour. I a lifestyle that they can tolerate or they the discovery next day of the aforemen business. Given IC's attitude towards recently came across an interesting doc are not clever, or they cannot run their tioned document in green - the IC drink handing out money to students for activ ument that describes itself as the IC own lives and really should not be at IC ing policy: I decided, lor the good of the ities that make them look good (i.e. they drinks policy. A fine and worthy item to in the first place. medical school, to investigate. don't), it seems strange that they fur have in Sherfield's already engorged The situation of IC trying to control A recent former president of ICU, for ther penalise the students by trying to paper-pushing bureaucracy you might students' lifestyle was highlighted to me whom medicine was not a career option, stop them from drowning their sorrows. say, or if you are going to be rude you in anecdotal form: wrote this document. It contains phrases Enough random ranting; I will finish could say that is it not worth the paper Two hard working members of the such as 'moral duty' and 'welfare of the by offering big congratulations to all the it is printed on. This document uses medics' freshers' fair were told, when students'. Frankly, I am stunned, firstly sports teams, especially the medics, who phrases such as "moral duty" in relation attempting to buy some medicinal vodka because the College thinks that it has the seem to have been doing quite well to student alcohol consumption and to stay their flagging spirits, that a bottle right to censure anyone's right to a drink recently. If you carry on like this you frankly I am confused as to how an would cost in excess of sixty pounds. and secondly to put the finances of the might get in the national newspapers administration that barely tolerates its They then attempted to purchase a student union in jeopardy by reducing and the denizens of Sherfield might get undergraduate population would even round of drinks for their stand only to be profits at the bar. The only answer is to to hear of triumphs. dream of antagonising them even more told that they would not be served more drink at sensible medics bars where they by treating them like twelve year olds. than one double per person per day. This certainly would not let the sobriety of 2 November 1998 Columns 9

Thought for the Day Pretentiousness

ou may have to pay your own they sec second-hand furniture shops, rat droppings across balding carpets? "Is Cinzano the new lager, or Ytuition fees these days. You might and instead investing in plush items from Or is the pretentious student here to think that your expensive-to-rent IKEA. Marxism has stay? Have letters, unvarnished softwood a abode is a grotty, draughty, pestilent been thrown to and more recently hole, and that the stair carpet bears a the winds,- materi email, the staple trendy form of perverted foul, clashing pattern; a criminally dis alism is in,- the cornerstones of torted product of the opiated 1970s yuppies of the mid student communi- pornography?' mindset. You might think that being a stu -1980s are, I'm 1 cation, been dent under Labour is a trial of frugality afraid, the stu superceded by jobs lo purchase dishwashers? Is Cin and thrift. dents of the late mobile phones zano the new lager, or unvarnished soft If you are being entirely honest with 1990s. Rikand Neil and pagers? The wood a trendy form of perverted yourself, though, you might decide that would be mind boggles at pornography? this isn't true any more. The inexorable shocked. the concept of Then again, it doesn't really matter. rise of silicon has come to the aid of stu I have no idea Jeremy Clarkson I'll be gone next year. Never again will I dents everywhere. Scenes reminiscent of as to why this has saying, "This is the have to sit in the JCR while some super- the Young Ones' lounge, or Withnail and happened. Is it a new BMW. Sleek, arrogant degenerate conducts a loud I's Camden louse-house, are becoming product of the sophisticated, and conversation in as protracted a manner increasingly rare; bedsits have become recession which with more horse as possible via the mutogenic ever more luxurious,- campus inhabitants separated the two power than you microwaves of a mobile. I won't have to are walking by on the other side when decades? Are peo can shake a set of watch spoilt snobs turning up their noses ple, now that they ecture notes at." at Sainsbury's sandwiches and Union 'Bedsits have become ever have money, And when will curries and buying cups of espresso for unafraid to give it stop? Are single four pounds a throw. And I won't have more luxurious... Marxism has to their children to "Just jumped off Janet' mothers con to watch students walking out of Mech spend? If this is so, demned to wash Eng and hailing taxis to get them back to been thrown to the winds; and if we see another global slump, will ing the dishes by hand, while students, their residences in Chelsea. the hovels return? Will red wine stains on basking in the lazy relief of ever-dropping Best of all, though, next year I'll have materialism is in...' designer rugs be replaced once more by educational standards, take part-time some money. All Campbell Reminiscing Medic Wigs and Student Digs

olume two, album two... yes, just Rumour has it that he actually pulled not This is the fifth time we've com another interest-free loan and ask my par Vbrowsing through my much just one desperate bloke but two, at a plained to our landlord and apart from a ents to lend me the rest, I'll have a envied, rather extensive photo col famous London night spot later on that couple of men in designer suits and clip remote chance of owning my own little lection; nothing better than a night in, evening. boards checking out the shower nothing dig. No more second-rate rented accom reminiscing. Flicking through the photos, The phone rings,- a group of my else has been done. I'm fed up, she's fed modation, incompatible flat-mates, unre I'm reminded of the night of my best mates are going to a club; sod my night up... the leaking continues... so does the alistic visionary rotas, early morning friend's twenty-first; the night when a in, reminiscing! banging (with her dead husband's bathroom queues or cheap, tacky Athena warped male acquaintance of mine ...Rough night!!! snooker cue, we are informed). Her vis posters pinned to blue-tack-prohibited decided to embark on a maiden voyage I press the snooze button for the its to our flat become more frequent... walls. My very own post-university-pre- of discovery - his feeble attempt to see fourth time, and reach for the Panadol can't wait lo get my own place... count family flat with non-child-proof furniture the world through extra. The events of down... lust two more and pine floors... the eyes of a woman. The individual... turned up.. last night arc coming years to qualify... Underpaid, OVer-Strained I'm prodded The individual, who to me in bursts and Just two more quite sharply and for security reasons in an unflattering, skimpy, flashes. I realise Ihe impoverished, student slaves tO the tyrannical, autO- awoken by the will remain anony loud banging is not loan devouring years obnoxious piss-head mous, turned up at Laura Ashley imitation pur- emanating from my and ill be promoted cratic NHS, burning the mid I was forced to sit the designated head but from the to the ranks of the next to in the lecture venue in an unflat- chased from Some Unknown front door the lady ethanol dependent night oil night after week theatre because I tering, skimpy, Laura downstairs is com- house officer. The came in late. Obvi- Ashley imitation pur- backstreet charity shop...' plaining about our unsung heros and after month...' ously he wants his chased from some leaking shower again! heroines on the hos nicotine fix before the unknown backstreet charity shop; I've heard it all before and I lose interest pital battle field, where the managers next lecture. I make my way up to the Frankic-Goes-to-Hollywood shades; quickly. I'm still recovering from the wave the victory flag. Underpaid, over photocopier machine with the lecture grimy, rather masculine adidas trainers; events of last night and I'm already five strained slaves to the tyrannical, auto notes, that's five copies to go! I've had a two-inch coal of make-up (enough to minutes late for my lecture on how to cratic NHS, burning the midnight oil night enough, it's been a hard day and I make any Prescilla drag-queen feel pass MCQ papers, the one lecture I'd after week after month, the arms of Mor reckon I'm suffering from a bout of post underdressed) and my best friend's decided to go to this week. All my friends pheus (for those of you not familiar with traumatic stress induced by the morn mum's wig (who still doesn't know it's arc counting on me to go since they arc Greek mythology he is the Greek god of ing's events. My head hits the pillow... missing). Instant recognition (and fur all in bed with various strains of parac dreams...I'm not showing-off. am I?) ever where was I... ah yes...! ther doubts about his sexual orientation) etamol-resistant hangovers. I promise lo distant. Maybe if I work non-stop all year, D. Devadas was the outcome of the evening. ring our landlord and slam the door. convince my bank manager to offer me 10 Election Manifestoes 2 November 1998 Which way to vote? Next Monday and Tuesday IC goes to the poles to elect a new Deputy President (Clubs & Societies). So what are the options, and why do these people deserve your votes? Stuart Cook

I know I can do this job, and the aim of this ation, the status quo does seem ideal, but if short article is to persuade you, the (wonder BUSA object then we need to make the best ful) voter that I can. I've been at IC for five years of a bad job, with the ultimate long term aim now, and I know the structure of the Union as of merging the different factions in IC. well as anyone. I know how the clubs and soci As some of you might know I've been eties operate though I appreciate that as involved in ICUAEC for all my time here, being Deputy President I must listen to people's views a Championship winning Captain, a successful on their societies and act accordingly. Vice-Captain and the Treasurer. In my younger Initially my aims include striving to capture days I used to get thrown out of the Union on further sponsorship for the individaul clubs Wednesdays but now maturity has set in and I and societies. Also I plan to sort out the situa just pass out in comers when I get drunk. tion regarding coach travel to our sporting fix PS I have great communication skills tures. Wouldn't it be great if we had subsidised PPS Don't vote New Election or I'll look a travel to all games? Regarding the BUSA situ dick if I lose New Election

Hi there. Well I'm New Election (sometimes other. If you don't vote you can't complain known as Re-Open Nominations or RON) and about the job being done. I'm your chance to express a no vole for the Whilst I'm here did you know I'm also a candidate. After all, the sabbaticals have man candidate in all the other union elections? Posi aged so far h aven't they? Surely they don't tions such as Haldane Music Buyer. Check out need a Deputy President (Clubs & Societies)? the Union Notice Board to see the ones I'm talk Well that's your decision to make. I would ing about. advise you to think carefully though. By voting for me there will be another round of elections. Will there be any more candidates standing next time for this position? Would they be any better than this time? However you feel, make sure you exercise your democratic right and vote one way or the With drawl

Rostam Kilgour, the other fully sec ICU CINEMA PRESENTS: onded candidate for Deputy Pres ident (Clubs & Societies), has withdrawn from the election. Con firmation of his withdrawl came on Monday 26 in a letter to ICU Pres ident David Hellard. No specific SPECIES reasons for his decision were stated. Wed 4th (6pm) & Thurs 5th (8.30pm) Hustings Also Showing Hustings will take place on all cam Dark City Wed 4th (8.30pm) puses this week: Concert Hall Union Building 2nd Floor \ Divorcing Jack Thurs 5th (6pm) South Ken : Monday, 6pm Drinks available from Da Vinci's ZULU Sun 8th (7pm) Charing X : Tuesday, 6pm St Mary's : Wednesday, 6pm Looking for a career that will suit you? Careers Presentation, The Rembrandt Hotel, Monday 16 November at 6pm

If you want a lively and technology - an approach that Consulting. You can ask challenging career that will transforms visionary ideas into questions and have an fulfil your potential while successful working realities. informal chat with some of keeping your options open, You'd team with some of the our people, from analysts up Andersen Consulting can offer most successful organisations to partners, during drinks and you an unparalleled range of - those seeking sustainable buffet supper. innovative and flexible career profound change, exploring If you would like to opportunities. Imagine what new markets, leading their be considered for an you could accomplish at industries and creating their interview the next day, one of the world's leading futures. please submit an application management and technology Come to our presentation at form a week in advance consulting organisations. The Rembrandt Hotel on to The Graduate Recruiting Our clients recognise that Monday 16 November at 6pm, Department. Application forms Andersen Consulting offers the when we'll tell you more are available from your careers unique ability to align strategy about the dynamic, challenging service or call our recruiting with people, processes and opportunities at Andersen helpline free on 0500 100189.

Andersen A Consulting 12 Comic Strip 2 November 1998

AU-THE BRAINIEST SCHOOL KibS WRE QETTlMe READY FOR AN IMltPVlWl Fro GP" /NTO CAWDGC uw^tasnr » X HEARD THAT PRcRSSOR FUCK*? CXJfS IWTCRVIEWS W A IKTTORlSEb < FUCKWIT BftTH TUB ma OF BAKED BEAMS.) Ijip^iiliiUl^lH!!,!!) ~ 2 November 1998 Games 13 Carmageddon II - Carpocalypse Now (PC)

The name of the game really says so that you can com it all, it's the sequel of the infa plete the circuit as mous Carmagedon. The objec quickly as possible!?! tives of the games hasn't really Who knows! changed; race against other dri In conclusion... vers but for additional points you Would I buy the came? need to do the unthinkable. Yup Probably not... the run over people. game tries to hard to Although in the version which appeal to the darkside I saw you don't run over "living" of the players and fails people as such (well zombies in miserably... and as a fact!). The graphics shows no real driving game it's pretty much bog stan innovation although using the dard. I rate it a poor 1 star. I would give News 3 Dfx card docs make the game it a 0 star but because it uses 3dfx I run at an amazing speed. At the thought it redeemed itself by at least Colony Wars - end of the day; the rendering is making an effort on the graphics. Well flat, game play lacks any imagina almost. Vengeance tion and most of all the music dri Bill Tung ves you round the bend. Maybe I liked Colony wars despite what the it enhances the games by making others said. The missions were a little you want to run over more people same after the while but the hype machine is back with Vengeance (heh heh a pun). I ollowing on from the six endings of the original, things have Sin (PC) got bad for the league and civil unrest and general disorder have become Activision the order of the day, bit like a house party at 3am. This time you play Having stopped playing PC first than a 166 MHz Pentium ( I armour jacketed stomach for a few sec Mortens fighting on the side of a navy person shooting games at guess most of PC people at IC onds or sent to Valhalla quickly with a bul attempting to reunite the people and quake I feel a little bit like a will have this, but just don't let between the eyes. As the instructions making sure they get the N52 home footballer that has taken a year even try your old overclockcd say if they're not bleeding they're not before they set off another fire extin off after breaking their leg to 486 with this.) The game starts hurting. guisher. It looks like its going to be a find that the team has been with a nice helicopter level, There is also a small, with an empha guess who your enemy really is game, replaced by weird green where you can forget about sis on small, amount of puzzle solving as you battle through a new graphics aliens, sure they look differ ammo levels and just waste and strategy to work out. engine using your 22 new weapons, ent but they still play pretty anything that moves on the So does it take me from my beloved with 75 different ships and other bits much in the same way. Per roof of the bank. The level also Goldencyc. Unfortunately with problem and bobs. It should be out on the 13th haps nothing was able to dis- if sorts out that the humour is one to contend against it's a very strong November for the Playstation, and tract me from Goldeneye on 1 going to be very Duke Nukem, no. Getting round problem on meant giv hopefully Psygnosis will lend us a copy the N64. Goldcneyc with its with baddies taking potshots ing it a go on a network using a P2 400 to give it a proper go. strategy, sniper rifle and head h at the local winged life and MHz machine running exotic addons shot instant kills. Perhaps the discussing their last killing as courtesy of Activision and with this setup boredom of the single player I your gunship creeps up possibly yes. It does look impressive, has Carmageddon 2 - quake without the eye candy \ behind them, the first level some pretty good touches and network supplied by a decent 3D card also introduces the non-linear wise means you don't have to play Carpocalypse Now bored me too much. Either / aspect of the game. Blow one against your friends using the same TV way was sin to reawaken my ^ of the adboards on the roof screen (not so funny on a 14inch I'm not going to comment on the review bloodlust ? and you can watch it hurtle portable). Its definitely my PC shooter above, mainly because I've not played through a glass skylight. Wan So onto the story. You play now (though I'll be looking at Quake2 the game yet. PC not really up to it. ton destruction is good you might well a cop. The bad guys are commanded by with the expansion pack and Klingon One thing you can almost guarantee is think. Well yes and no, after the initial sat a sort of anti-Lara. A big, bondage out Honour Guard next week). the press are going to throw their 'Are isfaction has passed you might well dis fitted, anatomically unfeasible, incredibly GS computer games violent and the cause cover that the adboard well armed, anti-Lara. You go after the of all of modern life's woes'. Since has broken one of the anti-Lara with an assortment of bullet Space Invaders this story has been security computers that spitting, death dealing weapons. It must brought up mainly to give free publicity could help you out later. have taken them all of minutes for some and sell a few more games for the soft one to think that one up, and highly Finish the first stage ware makers and publishers and to fill a likely the chief designer has having a nice and you get into a more few more inches in games pages and I dream all about it at the time. recognizable game. It is for one am not going to panda to the So off the story and into the game back to limited ammo stainless/Sci publicity bandwaggon and like a mad vole chased by an escaped and complete freedom mention anything about it - doh. mink. Problem number one was the of movement in the ancient PC at home. So it runs on a Pen level, run around and GS tium 120 MHz , with a monster2 video shoot things that move card at 640x480 and it only complains game. Except this time about it at the beginning but for a slicker the enemies can either frame rate don't consider anything less be pounded in their 14 Arts 2 November 1998

MIRROR IMAGE: JONATHAN MILLER ON MIRRORS National Gallery, Sainsbury Wing

bition, the cynics would be self this question: when you see a mir Gustave Caillebotte depicts just such a wrong. In fact, mirrors have ror in a painting (or even a photo), how scene with a man standing with his back always fascinated artists, not do you know that you are looking at a to one of the mirrors. By some magical just for their entertaining mirror? Of course the answer is because process, his reflections imply that the optical effects, but also their you see a reflection. This may appear person is isolated and lonely. ability to give subtle meaning obvious but the exhibition explains that I could bore you with this stuff for and dimension to a painting. if you blot everything out except the mir hours, so the best thing is to go to sec Critics have suggested ror, you can no longer tell whether you're the exhibition for yourself. Aside from that Miller is out of his depth looking at a real object or a reflected admiring the beauty of the paintings in the visual arts and should image. What this means is that the brain and gaining insight into the minds of the stay on his more familiar ter requires a context to understand it is artists, you won't ever be able to sit ritory of opera, intellectual actually looking at a reflection. The clas through a nine o'clock lecture on chiral- musing and corduroy jack sic example is Jan van byck's Arnolflnl Por ity without a knowing smile. And in the ets (sorry about that last trait (this contains the most famous mornings the simple act of staring bleary- one). I disagree and think mirror in art history in case you didn't eyed at your reflection in the bathroom Miller's treatment of mirrors know). mirror will assume a whole new meta in art makes the subject So on some level, the exhibition physical significance. accessible and exciting. takes the form of an illusionist's show. onathan Miller's latest foray into Miller's talc covers various themes, tied But for me, the key message was that William Jthe arts is an exhibition on the in together with an audio commentary mirrors also add emotional depth to a depiction of mirrors and reflections and a short documentary film. The exhi painting. Miller comments that "reflective Until 13th December in painting. Cynics might think that this bition uses both well-known and less surfaces give us the opportunity of look is Just one in a long line of post-mod famous paintings as examples, reintro ing in one direction and seeing in Nearest tube: Charing Cross/Leicester ernist books/plays/exhibitions; taking ducing you to all those works you've another". He means this both in the lit Square some inanimate object and then spin seen somewhere but just can't name. eral and figurative sense. Imagine an Admission: £5.50, concessions £3.50 ning out a single trivial insight into reams Artists often paint mirrors to create empty Parisian cafe with its walls covered Opening hours: daily 10am - 6pm (Sun of pseudo-drivel. In the case of this exhi some quirky optical illusion. Ask your by gilt mirrors; the painting In a Cafe by days from 12pm, Wednesdays until 8pm)

SPEED: VISIONS OF AN ACCELERATED AGE Whitechapel Gallery

lation entitled A Letter to an Unknown record all that is happening to each indi in glaring colour and at a huge scale. Person. At first, all that can be seen is the vidual comes across very clearly. With many other interesting exhibits countryside zooming past a camera in Another work which caught my on show (including wooden and hairy the passenger seat of a car. Her hand attention was Lime Works: Blasting by cars), Speed is well worth an afternoon's reaches up into shot and she then \agova llatakeyama (pictured centre). attention - just don't rush it! attempts to sketch the scenery with a The artist has created a series of arrest- Joel Until 22th November

Nearest tube: Aldgate Last Opening hours: daily (except Mondays) 11am - 5pm (Wednesdays until 8pm) Admission: £4, concessions £2.50 (FRLE on Tuesdays)

rom the moment you step F through the doors of the gallery and hear the continuous, dis jointed ticking emitted by a row of metronomes, each set at slightly differ ent rhythms, it is clear that Speed is going to challenge the spectator's senses. The curator of the gallery uses a marker pen as it flashes by. Initially, the ing images depicting a limestone quarry wide variety of media, ranging from artist snatches small parts of the land in various states of destruction. By using sculpture to photography, to demon scape onto the windscreen, but the enlarged prints and high-speed photog strate how the idea and measurement of experiment quickly degenerates into a raphy, minute details can be made out. speed permeate our everyday life - and meaningless scribble of disjointed lines This dizzying intricacy is the feature that even how speed itself Is getting faster! and meaningless shapes. The comment enthrals the viewer - the very thing which My favourite piece from this varied on the fleetingness of modern life and the average individual cannot attain in collection was Rachel Lowe's video instal the insanity of the current attempts to day-to-day life has been presented here 2 November 1998 Arts 15 BG WILDLIFE PHOTOGRAPHER OF THE YEAR Natural History Museum

professionals alike. In excess of 20,000 from unexpected quirks of entries were received and narrowed nature. The amazing pic down to the 1 SO images on display. Pre tures have a powerful sented either as enlarged, illuminated impact on the viewer, not transparencies or included in a slide pro only as aesthetic works but jection, the collection maintains the tra also as thought-provoking ditional standards of quality associated reminders of the environ with the award. Granted, the general ment's endangered state. format of the exhibition hardly changes You'll probably find yourself from one year to the next. But then disagreeing with the occa- again, why change a winning for mula? I he overwhelming critical acclaim and intense public popu larity are proof enough of the event's resounding success. Elephant Spraying Mud, Elephant Seal Pup, Edmund Fellowes You don't have to be a pho Andy Rouse An adorable portrait of a tography expert to appreciate the An Irate elephant defiantly flings youngster scratching Its chin In technical skills involved in produc dirt at the camera. apparent meditation. ing such shots, some planned to the last details, others resulting chrome miniatures barely do the t first glance, this is perhaps not colour originals justice. And since the most obvious venue for an 've run out of superlative adjectives Aart exhibition. However, if you to describe this exhibition, I'll leave bypass the foyer of reassembled Brown Bear Fishing for Salmon, il up to you lo indulge in ihe real dinosaur skeletons and cross the corridor Brandon T Garland monty. of prehistoric fossils, you reach a dark A staring contest between the ened gallery from which obscure bird | poised hunter and a hovering fish Helena squawks and animal howls emanate. Let depicts the instant before the me reassure you - these recorded bursts predator lunges for its victim. of commotion are purely atmospheric, setting the scene for a collection that glo sional judges' decisions and Until 27th tcbruary rifies the natural world. Inevitably selecting a per The museum recently unveiled the sonal favourite amongst the Nearest tube: South Kensington results of the fifteenth annual wildlife scenic landscapes, endear Opening hours: daily 10am - 5.50pm photographer competition, organised by Boxing Hares, Manfred Danegger (overall winner) ing close-ups or dynamic (Sundays from 11am) BBC Wildlife Magazine. Enthusiasts from During the breeding season, a female rebuffs the action shots. Admission: £6, concessions £3.20 (fREL some 60 countries battled for this pres advances of an over-eager male In this explosive pic Although enchanting as entry after 4.30pm weekdays, 5pm week tigious title, coveted by amateurs and ture praised for Its perfect composition. appetisers, these mono- ends)

PICASSO: PAINTER AND SCULPTOR IN CLAY Royal Academy

hen the name Picasso is men This is a fun exhibition, with cheeky As you walk into the second gallery, of blue, green and black marker pens. tioned, people react in one of faces carved into plates, pots shaped a tall panel draws you over to the far wall; I hey catch your eye, you stop to take a w iwo like voluptuous the subject is closer look and ways; either with a women in ball I rancoise, his new realise thai they are polite but blank gowns and lover (pictured actually highly com stare of incompre Picasso's own right). Her gaze is plex and detailed hension, or witt archaeological directed over your pieces. self-satisfied know creations. For the left shoulder; after Again and again, ing nod. Given the last, he took only a few seconds Picasso catches your opportunity, these pieces of broken you start to feel attention with the knowing nodders pots and painted uncomfortable and apparently banal and will Ihcn go on lo on designs glance over you primitive, which then tell you authorita inspired by shoulder lo set; conjures up some tively that he was a Mediterranean what she finds so thing exquisite. painter, a sculptor myths - Zeus, the interesting This

and a (bad) play Minotaur and lots tends lo startle the Etiennc wright. of bearded person standing just If you visit the Greeks emptying behind you. until Until 16th December Royal Academy amphorae of fer they realise what however, you'll see mented grapes has happened and and generally behaving like students. you both grin sheepishly something very different: Picasso's little Nearest tube;: Green Park/Piccadilly Circus I his outbreak of upbeal works was stim known pots, plates and panels. It's the At first sight the two murals in the: Admission: £7, £5 for students ulated by two events - the end of the Sec first major exhibition of his ceramics fifth gallery appear to have been created Opening hours: daily 10am - 6pm ond World War and the arrival in Picasso's (painted and glazed clay) ever to be on a rainy Wednesday afternoon by life of a beautiful new young mistress. staged, and it's long overdue. some bored undergrads with a collection 16 Arts 2 November 1998

ANTONY AND CLEOPATRA National Theatre, Olivier

Madly, Deeply). They are the main attrac dria to find her. Caesar declares war on particularly exciting and daring. A few tions in this new version of Antony and them and Antony's men simply desert sparks do fly here and there in a pro Cleopatra. Director Sean Mathias (famous him. feeling betrayed by Cleopatra, who duction that is overall quite boring and for A Little Night Musical the National a falsely sends a messenger to tell him she difficult to sit through. If you have never couple of years ago) has opted for a has died, Antony commits suicide and seen a Shakespeare play on stage, this very contemporary ensemble. The mod dies in her arms. Cleopatra then also may not be the best choice for starting ern design is well done; an amazing ends her life. out. If however you are a big fan of Mir- wooden set with panels going up and The actors are slightly out of place: rcn's, then you won't be too disap down allows actors on and off the stage. Alan Rickman just doesn't fit in with the pointed. The fresh feel is slightly misjudged how image of the passionate Antony - he It's a pity that Sean Mathias, who has ever and the directing lacks vital energy lacks total drama and fugue. Helen Mir so often charmed and shocked specta and pace. ren just about gets away with her inter tors with his innovative work, has come The story is well known, centering on pretation of Cleopatra. Even though she up with such a quiet and slow produc the love affair between Cleopatra, Queen is not amazing, she does manage to tion. of Egypt, and Mark-Antony, a Roman convey her character's self-centred and hakespeare's plays have always commander. They lead a life of pleasure witty personality. The rest of the cast D. Sformed Ihe best British actors or and lust, surrounded by their court and tries its hardest to keep the interest going so we are made to believe. And slaves (a very lush evocation of that for the three and a half hour duration of Until 3rd December even if they didn't start with the Bard, period!). Back in Rome, Caesar orders the play and proves mildly entertaining. actors always seem to return to him. This Antony to return and marry his sister, The good points of this production Nearest tube: Waterloo is indeed the case for Helen Mirren Octavia. Cleopatra is desperate, but remain the lovely sets and costumes, as tickets: standby places available for stu (Prime Suspect) and Alan Rickman (Truly, Antony eventually comes back to Alexan well as the final ten minutes that I found dents (check beforehand) £7.50

VIA DOLOROSA Royal Court Theatre

on a visit he made to Israel and his expe and a Brit. He then proceeded to tell var agreement considering the peace deal riences over there. ious anecdotes and funny stories, caused signed last week). His interests lay with David Hare is one of Britain's most by such a partnership. Hare was often the individual; the everyday struggle for talented playwrights; his more recent hilarious and managed to introduce one's identity and culture. It was fasci works include Amy's View, The Judas Kiss humour to what is, in fact, a very dra nating that he should select such a par and the adaptation of The Blue Room matic crisis. Having met many intellec ticular theme for his play, yet succeed in (starring Nicole Kidman). This play was tuals in Israel, as well as a few politicians, making it so universal. He showed off an like nothing else he has done in his he visited the territories of Palestine. impressive gift for story telling. In short, career; a sort of "one man show" where These scenes were extremely amusing, these special real-life experiences were he stood alone on stage for ninety min with people debating different political tremendously uplifting. If this transfers to utes, reciting his own story. He described questions over lunch. the West End, as I have been told it may an issue that he now holds close to his The actor managed to explain more do, I urge you to go and watch the per heart - the situation in the Middle East, about the Middle Easl - its history, its formance, as it is compelling and ulti and more precisely in Israel. As he him aspirations and its difficulties - than any mately so rewarding! self says, "no other problem of our time History book or journalist around, since is rooted so deeply in the past". nother fantastic play presented at he had no preconceived ideas. He did D. the Royal Court a few weeks ago Hare travelled to Jerusalem to put on n't suggest any solutions to the problem, A a play, which he explained was a collab was David Hare's latest, highly instead leaving it to the politicians (who personal creation, Via Dolorosa. It centres oration between an Israeli, a Palestinian seem to have finally found some form of

PHEDRE Albery Theatre

language is very poor compared to them to express their deep feelings. The the cast is no better. Only Toby Stephens' Racine's original trench. Hughes has influence of people around us, advisers Hippolytus manages to keep the right tried too hard to modernise the charac especially, which can bring about disas tone. Many people actually found the ters and too often completely misses trous situations. However the playwright play quite funny. Now, if the audience is the point. It's a bit of a waste really. talks about incest without expressing his laughing so much during a tragedy, then Phedre is married lo the King of point of view; he just portrays a woman there must be something drastically Athens, Theseus. She is also deeply desperately in love with her stepson - no wrong with the production. Old tragic attracted to Hippolytus, his son from a judgement is made, no solution given. plays haven't had a decent West End previous marriage. As this love is forbid The original play is fascinating and run for a while and it's a real shame to den by society, she lives in a continual brilliantly written - only the company witness such a failure. The same com nightmare of suppressed emotions. In has messed everything up. Hughes has pany is also preparing Britannicus... Wc remember frequently studying order to rid herself of this burden, she come up with a terrible translation and can only hope for better quality from Racine's work at school, sometimes forces herself to be dismissive and harsh the acting is mediocre. This is particularly such potentially good talent. I towards Hippolytus, which naturally surprising since the cast is full of tal very fondly. His plays evoke the history and myths of Ancient Greece, which causes her even more pain. She finally ented people: Diana Rigg, for instance, D. form such a fundamental basis of our cul decides to confess, leading to the play's who has enlightened the London stage ture. Ted Hughes has just completed a tragic end. for quite a few years now, turns out to Until 28th November new translation for the tondon stage Alive in the 17th century, Racine nev be a particularly unsubtlc Phedre. She and I'm sorry to say that it's far from suc ertheless raises issues that are relevant hardly shows any of the pain the char Nearest tube: Leicester Square cessful. Some passages sound horren- today. The pressures of society in general acter experiences and most of the time Tickets: student standby £10 subject to dously out of place and the quality of the often restrict individuals by not allowing makes Phedre look ridiculous. The rest of availability Monday: Standing Room only Live Premiership footle. Oavinei's Tom

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Hot food available in DaVinci's The Union Building. noon - 2.30 & 5.30-8.30 18 Music 2 November 1998 Album Feature

You've Come A Long Way, Baby YOU'VE COME A LONG WAY, FATBOY!

Former Housemartin Fatboy Slim (aka Norman Cook) Is now a household name. Recently he's picked up DJ awards left, right and centre. Now he has the pleasure of receiving a Felix four-star review for You've Come A Long Way, Baby and an In-depth feature. Who says he hasn't got It all?

afeller Skank, which peaked at number six. That ford with 1998 Remixer of the Year. Not just that though - Finesse vocal sample combined with that twangy surf- in Cook's own words: 'Jason Nevins sent a fax where guitar sent crowds into disco oblivion. It was indeed a he wrote 'I just heard the song [The RockafellerSkank]. warning shot! You are a fucking genius.' That's nice for me. It's impor Even before it's release, the album blossomed tant for me; the two biggest kicks being making a pop with success. The RockaFeller Skank has been chosen record everyone likes, but also getting the respect of as the lead song my peers." in, arguably, this 'He's a master of finding an You've year biggest Come A Long video game: inescapably alluring chorus or a brain- Way, Baby is FIFA 99 from Electronic Arts. numbing musical catch-phrase where no with their feet Football fans will firmly on the get so much one would think to search for one/ dancefloor more for their but with money when it enough is released at the end of November. depth, width and mirth to make things a lot more Fatboy Slim knows how to find a pop hook where interesting. From the momentous backward strings of none exists. I le's a master of finding an inescapably Right Here, Right Now and the funny radio intro to The alluring chorus or a brain-numbing musical catch-phrase Rockafeller Skank (no joke - this is a live radio record Norman Is very Intelligent, Mrs. Cook, but his where no one would think to search for one. ing from WBCN in Boston!) this is Fatboy Slim at his peak. attention does seem to wander at times.... The Rockafeller Skank's vocal hook, altogether It features many more pop-vocal hooks than his previ now, 'Right about now, the funk soul-brother / Check ous album while still maintaining the DJ's lightheaded, or fifteen years now, he's been making music it out now, the funk soul-brother,' was lifted from a to serve all listening pleasures. From his career record featuring American rapper Lord Finesse. Fatboy F starting 80's brit-pop band. The I lousemartins, could have easily gotten someone to sing or rap for it, to the dub heavy band Beats International, to becom but the idea is to make a lead vocal out of something ing one of the world's most sought after DJs and the that wasn't and make it so you can't recognize it... so forerunner of a movement called Big-Beat, a mainly he don't have to pay for it! Well done! English groove that mixes hip-hop and techno for a I lis current outing, Cangsta Trlppin', an old-school- dance-floor-friendly sound that often adds a human funk-meets-new-school-rap/skajam, is built on a narcotic element through cleverly employed, repetitive vocal hook no other DJ would have thought to use. The song hooks. Brighton-born DJ, Norman Cook, has indeed samples bits from DJ Shadow's Entropy and the song come a long way, baby. Being the same person was Beatbox Wash by the Dust Junkies. never going to satisfy Norman Cook, resulting in many The mesmerizing Build It Up, Tear It Down, like aliases, some ...Skank, manages to better known meldasurfy, English than others,'....in terms of musical talent, he's an rock sensibility to a releasing sin- techno arrangement, gles under obese piece of genius.' while In.Heaven is the names of perhaps the most Pizzaman [Pizzamania), Freak Power (who can forget innocuously dirty song Fatboy has recorded to date. Tune In, Turn On, Cop Out?), Mighty Dub Katz (the Consisting only of the phrase 'Fatboy Slim is fucking In dub anthem Magic Carpet Ride) and many more. heaven' supplied by rapper Freddy Fresh looped over ....he's also prone to screaming for no apparent Fatboy Slim is, in fact, the latest guise of Norman and over again, over a spare organ-lick and Fatboy's sig reason. This disturbs the other children and Cook. I le's not fat at all, but in terms of musical talent, nature fat-beats - another example of fatboy finding an should not be encouraged he's an obese piece of genius. unlikely hook and milking it for all it's worth. I le's not a newcomer to chart success, hav The album also manages to mix in samples of party attitude and his facility at creating innovative ing already had Top 40 singles in the UK under six dif church choirs, obscure rappers and even childrens' beats - Norman Cook in the I louse of Love (his little stu ferent names including two number one singles. It was author/former pop-singer Camille Yarborough on the dio at his Brighton home) producing the tracks that have almost three, but Tune In, Turn On, Cop Out peaked gospel-funk tune Praise You. helped put Big Beat on the global musical map. out at number two. Now, under the alias of Fatboy Slim Norman Cook's production was never in doubt - Uniike the first album sledge-hammering on your comes a new album, You've Come A Long Way, Baby. producing every one of his own tracks and many more head, saying 'Dance, have fun!', this one is more This is Fatboy's second offering (well, third if you count for the likes of Bootsy Collins, Urban Allstars and feel thoughtful; you can listen to it all the way through and the club session Live From The Floor OF The Boutique) good Factor. I lis remixing skills are not to be chal not feel violated by it. You've Come A Long Way, Baby after his hugely successful Better Living Through Chem lenged either, having already done remixes for Digital is all good. E3 istry, a tribute to his friends The Chemical Brothers. Underground, INXS, Jungle Brothers and many many Abu Way back in March, Fatboy premiered The Rock- more. It's no wonder that Muzik Magazine awarded him 2 November 1998 Music 19

ELECTRIC CAFE TINDERSTICKS Donkeys '92-97' dBs

o to the Union on a Saturday last three years. They know their music, odern day R and B infused well known, that is, we are talking about night? You must be joking, or and they know how to mix it. M with soulful dynamics, a Tindersticks) to the obscure, fhe album G Okay, so it is only open until mid gospel-tinged voice of angelic starts with their first singles Patchwork, at least very bored. Surely London's nightlife, or the crowded night and is less crowded than weekday beauty. I lang on, that's not Marbles and City Slickness and the scene atmosphere of Southside Bar, provide a evenings; on the opening night there Tindersticks! Tindersticks? Yeah, is set. The glorious shuffle of Travelling far better environment in which to were about two hundred people in dBs Tindersticks. Oh sorry, I thought you Light soon follows with Stuart and The Walkabouts' Carla Thorgesson mourn spend the evening... for the final hour. You may feel as said llinda I licks. Let's start again. fully reminiscing about what could of Last year I would have agreed with though you've wandered into a club in Dionysian abandonment and joy has been. A cover of Otis Redding's I've this view, encouraged it even. Apart that empty hour after the doors open. In consistently spawned kick-ass, feel Been Loving You Too Long is next, gen from the bars the Union did not have a way, however, this is what makes it a good music. Yet downbeat songs of tly sliding through the mind with a pat much going for it at the weekend, and good pre-clubbing night. You can take sobriety entertain an equal place in the ter of drums before reaching a was no match for the pubs and clubs of advantage of the Union's cheap alcohol, Parthenon of pop/rock music, the cold heart-wrenching crescendo of strings fondon. Things are changing, however. warm up your dancing shoes, and be on melancholic undertow adds an insight and trumpet; you see Embrace subtlety The new dBs, coupled with some deter the tube into the West End by half past to the sea of life, a current of under really can work. A cover of Pavements' mined students, has allowed the cre midnight. At the same time it caters for standing that isn't clouded by rose-tint Here leads to Tiny Tears whete we find ation of two new monthly Saturday night those who just want a few drinks before ed glasses, a consequential recognition Tindersticks at their most fragile, a song dance nights. Electric Cafe is one of they go home - now you can have a of a kindred spirit leading to relief and of minimalist beauty. them, and it's not at all bad. quick dance as well. contentment; sad songs that can make Playing a spectrum of underground The music will not be to everyone's you happy. As the album glides towards its dance, from house through techno and taste but, If you like your dance, trance It is through such waters Tindersticks finale, A Marriage Made In Heaven drum 'n' bass to ambient, the dance and magic plants, you could do a lot have trawled since their inception in 92, emerges through the elegant misery, a floor atmosphere is definitely different worse for no money. Congratulations Stuart Staple's Cohenesque-vocals cou farcical number featuring the woefully from the regular Ents nights. It has more must go out to all those involved in pling with subtle orchestration that does inept Isabella Rossellini, and being all the of a club feel to it, the music is harder organising the night - now it's up to us, n't engulf and nullify the beauty of the better for it. For Those... closes the com pilation with its quirky Casio-keyboard and faster, the lights lower, the dancing the students, to make it a success. See songs. I lello Embrace, are YOU taking refrain and as the Manics said so suc more free form. The DJing, although all you on the dance floor, d notes? cinctly we're 'I lappy being sad'. CI done by students, has a professional Ed This collection presents the listener edge to it - but then Electric Cafe has Next Electric Cafe, Saturday 7 with a broad overview of the story so far, Chris been a regular show on IC Radio for the November, 8pm - 12am, Free. ranging from the well known (relatively

Singles Calexlco - Stray tures four tracks recorded live in the USA, which means over etc. This should appeal to all under eleven who pre Very mellow with a nice use of samples. The first track, that it doesn't count as a single. It's definitely worth buy fer a rockier edge to their prefabricated boy/girlband Stray, sounds particularly good; there is latin influence ing, as there is a nice balance between quite relaxed drivel. in the sound. Sadly this isn't followed through into the bits and louder angsty bits. The live aspect of this sin b-sides, which aren't as good. gle Is a bit dubious, though, as the crowd is only heard Komputer - Terminus at the end of songs. H An instantly catchy dance tune with the occasional Essen - Supernatural Jamie upbeat keyboard refrain. Five different versions of the Dreamy and relaxing, although it never really invades same track on one CD mean that it can be a building yourconcentration. This is pretty much sonic wallpaper; James - Sit Down '98 up, a winding down or a happening club action tune put it on, then do something else instead. It's pretty The remixing and re-releasing of such 'feel-good' and depending on the remix chosen and the time of day good and the title track has nice beats that fit in well. chirpy toons are usually either storming hits or very big or night. mistakes. This '98 release contains two remixes as well The Paradise Motel - Hollywood Landmines as the original version. Both of the remixes keep all the Purity - Interference This tries to be too much. The song starts with a moody lyrics with the second mix keeping the upbeat guitar bits Republica-like lyrics spoken in a Saffron-like voice accom bass and guitar, some subdued drumming and vocals from the original in as well. panied by fast pulsating beats, best describes InterFer- that really fit in. Then things are ruined by someone Really all that has been done is to replace the drums ence. The other tracks Baby Universe and Dark Water deciding that a string section in the chorus would be with a few Dr Who theme tune effects. Very likeable aren't as aggressive as the main track but make for mel a good idea. A good song ruined by a bad idea. actually. low listening.

Lukan - See You Dying Fleece - 77?/s Is What You Get For Love. Wilt - No Worries This is emotive arena rock. It's that simple. Actually it is Cheesy quirky upbeat pop tune along the lines of The No wilting here - instantly likeable but grows even very well done, although the songs stray close to Live Cardigans. Features the refrain 'what would you do with more likeable each time you listen. Its a promo CD fea (the band) in sound at times. With the right promotion a brain if you had one?' and closes with another refrain turing three upbeat rocky/indie tunes - No Worries, this band could be big, especially in America. 'For Love', this time sung in a female Monty Python Working For the Man and / Want it All'feature versatile voice. The b-side A Better Way of Living is quite 70's influ vocals and chunky guitars. Definitely one to look out for. Bis - Eurodlsco enced - the opening is reminiscent of T Rex and the Bis will always be a band that are much better live than vocalist sounds like David Bowie. Also included is a Swell - Make Up Your Mind on record. However, this song is actually one of their remix of the title track. Certain to be an MTV favourite, I did, rather quickly. It's dire. A title like this just asks for better studio efforts, although it does sound a bit too even if it doesn't make the charts. a direct response, don't you think? Four tracks with new romantic at times. The b-side Like Robots, however, inaudible monotonic vocals accompanied by an annoy- is a really bad song. It's a cliched idea that has been 22 Pisteplrkko - Onion Soup ingly buzzy guitar and drums. The last track is a cover done really badly here. Anyone who writes a song based around the question of the Stones' Street Fighting Man. Not even this saves 'Are we gonna have some Onion Soup?' deserves it. El Portlshead - PNYC some credit, even if it leads to the boy band style Katherine. I'm not sure what Is going to happen with this. It fea repetitive chorus of 'She said Yeah' over and over and 20 Music 2 November 1998 ilia Bomb! puffy Announces IfaeBad B°y Jnvas ion

What up! Last week you missed out on your dose See before dropping a coupie of tracks from their new- Faith performed the monster tunes You Used To Love of Tha Bomb but I'm back. The phat selection comes album Kima, Keisha & Pam. Ihe first single to be lifted Me and Soon As I Get Home with faultless vocals with only three tunes this week, two from the Bad Boy from it is gonna be Trippin with Missy on production, before doing the stunning Love Like This. I ler new family who are looking to storm the charts with album the track's not really worthy of Total and I hope the album Keep the Faith is due out next month and you releases from Total, 112 and Faith. album has more to offer, cos this is poor. Album to hit know you gotta have it. After Faith's performance Puffy Last week was dominated by news from the Bad seemed like a bit of an anti-climax, Lil Caesar helped him Boy camp. We start of with the MOBO awards from just out with the rapping (where's Mase?) as he raced up the road at the Royal Albert I lall where Puffy picked through the tunes Come With Me, Can't Nobody I lold up the Outstanding Achievement award; thing is he's Us Down and many others including some Biggie clas still only in his twenties, so what they gonna give him sics. The night was closed out with a full rendition of next time he comes over? At the MOBO's Puffy per Missing You, Faith and 112 were both there as well as formed a little medley of tracks, but the real story a full gospel choir. comes from the sound check before. Puff spent over Just a quick word on the soul boys of Britain, an hour doing his sound check and Mel B came on ask Another Level. I laving just picked up a MOBO for best ing to do hers, Puffy told her to fuck off before storm single for their massive hit Freak Me and just missing ing off himself. Mel apparently didn't take it to heart and out on the award for best newcomers (losing out to even called him incredible before he came on stage for David Lyden I lall). Now they're back with their latest sin his performance. Me thinks she's trying to keep on his gle Guess I was A Fool, this is a really classy tune with good side, so she can ask him for help with her solo excellent, tight production from the Blacksmith crew. career. Puff must know that helping Mel would be as Guess I Was.... should cement their position as the best bad as doing a collaboration with Jimmy Page O shit, British R&B group out there at the minute. he's already done that. As well as Puff, Faith Evans and Milen Total also showed up from the Bad Boy stable, both per formed live on stage. Faith kicked it with Love Like This and Total rocked with their brand of street soul. The very next day the Bad Boy Family cruised down to Sound Stop The Presses Republic in Leicester Square and performed in front of a select, invitation only, group and anyone with MTV. Where was Mase when Puffy was over here? When This was the first time Puffy has ever done a proper set ever you see Puffy you normally see Mase, where Is anywhere in Europe and he chose the just finished Mase? Well sources (Gbenga) say that he's parted com Sound Republic, word from the curb is that Puff has pany with the Bad Boy camp and has hooked up with invested a bit of money in the restaurant, club complex. the pint sized Jermaine Dupri at So So Def Records. At The gentlemen of Bad Boy, 112, started things off with the minute It's all just rumours, but does explain why Only You and then ran through some new stuff show III Caesar was helping Puffy at Sound Republic rather ing off their vocal range and plugging their new album than Mase. Another reason for the rumours Is that Mase Room 112 due to drop on November 9th. The first track signed his new group Harlem World to the So So Def off it should be Love Me featuring Mase, its doing the label rather than to Bad Boy. Gets ya thinkln don't it, rounds on promo at the minute and if you heard it you anyway I'll keep you Informed. know its quite simply the bomb. The album also features collaborations with the likes of Faith Evans and Lil Kim. the streets on November 2nd. Then came the woman Total were next up, they performed the classic Can't You who is trying to lay claim to MaryJ's crown - Faith Evans.

~i ftK I \ -i n c d.1 LI I EVal lo

next week vu tal e a h >< >k at the album that Phat Selection lalls. This was the iitsl album from Ihe Bad :&B tip and It set a high standard. At the time ilks were claiming that Faith hadn't the ski I Iz Love Like This - Faith Evans tarry an im herself and that she was getting special Puffy samples Chic's Chic Cher to treatment: because she was the uiF of mega-star Biggie, create the tune of the year, where's ler experience as a backing singer and writing partner the album? for Maryj Blige (queen of street soul) didn't mean a thing fin certain people. But her a debul set Faith Love Me -112 featuring Mase realK on; pi >>ele to sit up and pav attention "ill The hugely talented 112 return got the skill? and a little bit more, the album opened with this wicked tune sampling an up brilliantly with the classy No Other Love, then old Luther Vandross track and Mase came the Maty J penned mid tempo number Fallln featuring with the rap. In Love and followed by the chunkv You Remind Me: Faith slowed -vith a duet, with Maryj, cover of ; Rose Royce i we Don't I ive I lere No Mote. The Little Bit ofLovIn - Kelly Le Roc 'To Love Me was up next, still one Classy British soul, beautifully love keeps on going with the stun- smooth vocals over a lovely keyboard the way to the wicke'd slow jam riff. 2 November 1998 Music 21 Dance Music

yveirs

Welcome to another week of the Electric Cafe. If can come and sit around and drink and listen to music. you're still in the period known as "Fresher's Blues" then The music policy is eclectic and more on a relaxing tip we've got two great events lined up this week. So for than anything else. We played house, hip-hop, chilled get about work and projects and other depressing top drum'n'bass and big-beats two weeks ago. Special ics and come down! guest on the night will be DJ Darren Nesbeth with a first up is the Electric Cafe club night at DB's in IC great selection of breakbeats! Union this Saturday (7/11/98). This runs from 8pm till If you would like to DJ at an Electric Cafe event at midnight and is absolutely free! The first one turned out Southside then drop me an email ([email protected]). All to be a great evening. We'll be playing all sorts of elec you need is an interesting record or CD collection. An tronic dance music, from techno to big beat; house to ability to mix is not at all essential. So if you'd like peo drum'n'bass. Perfect on its own or as a warm up for ple to hear your favourite tunes, then get involved! something later! Two days before, on the 5th November we'll be hosting another Electric Cafe chill-out bar at Southside (the backroom). It starts at 7pm and runs until closing time! This is turning out to be a very popular event. You Focus On Tag Records

"sound" of the shop. The only styles that quality music into the house or techno Tag doesn't sell, according to Steve, are sectors of the market. The first release the three G's - Ooa, Gabba and Garage. was In Da Jungle by Playboy (now called Tag attracts some the top DJs from Boy due to threatened court action by a around the world to make visits when famous magazine of the same name!). they stop off in fondon. Ritchie I lawtin, This EP proved to be a hit with many Djs Luke Slater, Mr C Kevin Saunderson, Billy and clubbers alike and was featured on Nasty, Jim Masters and Darren Emerson the Kevin Saunderson mix album, Trans are just a few. But overall, Tag is a home missions from Deep Space Radio on Stu for lovers of quality club music. As well dio !K7 records. Since then Tag haven't as selling new releases from the most looked back and each release has done well-loved and progressive record labels well, helping to build the strength of the from around the world, Tag also works label. Regular artists include Ian O'Brian, hard to unearth more obscure and often Daz Saund and Ben Tisdall. Laidback Luke For those of you who want to buy back street in the heart of Chinatown, in quality electronic music in the capital south Soho. The shop is the baby of Tag Records Chan (whether a DJ or just a music-lover), a Steve Hanson and has been around common problem is where to start look since 1991. This is good for an indepen Skymaster - Murge EP (Offshoot) ing. Although some of the major stores dant store. Many have fallen by the way Hollis P. Monroe - I'm Lonely (Wai have picked up on the elctronic revolu side in recent times. (Stickman) tion and now sell a good range of under Although Tag has fast gained a rep Primitive Urges - Translations (Primit ground records, the best places have utation as one of the UK's leading hard Chump - Vega EP (Tag Records) always been the specialist independant house/techno specialist stores, the The Delinquents - Breaking the Law stores. As well as the artists and DJs who choice doesn't end there. The range of Mark Ambrose - Syline (Mmifunk) contribute to the continuation of the music Is as broadminded as the people Doug E. Fresh - The Show (Big Hair Re scene, I also want to write about the who work there. Being a specialist store d) shops that sell the music featured in puts Steve and his team in the privileged Housey Doingz - Chess with Dwarves these columns, starting with Tag Records. position of being able to pick the records Joel Mull - Archipelago EP (Inside) Tag Records is hidden away in a they want to sell and thus represent the Doodlebug - Loose in my Mind (Abni

overlooked labels. Tag also carries a well- has also provided remixes for the label. stocked back-catalogue with approxi So if you're into music from around mately 5000 titles listed. the world that is defining hard house and You can search Tag's back catalogue techno club culture then do check out via the internet Tag Records! (http://www.tagrecords.co.uk). The web Mark Callings from Tag Records has site allows you to carry out intelligent very kindly provided us with a chart from searches for records and even execute the shop for this week. Many thanks to direct sales. It is well worth checking out Steve, Mark, Linda, DJ Corrie and James. this facility as it is regularly updated and organised into fully serachable databases Tag Records conveniently labelled by style of music. 5 Rupert Court, Soho Now Tag has its own record label. Allck Launched in late 1996, it is called Tag Recordings (!). The aim was to release 22 Clubbing 2 November 1998

birdcage you can dance inside, ai sparkling new loos - what more

Serious attracts a funky, glam crowd that really do shine But don't think that you'll get wet handbag house here. Oh Roobarb Diva Surprise feat. Georgia Jones Deep Dish feat. EBTG / The 1* no. this is dressed-up clubbing with a / "On Top of the World" (WD Future of the Future (Stay Gold)" (Deconstruction) 1 Diva Surprise live up to their name with a wicked slice of funky, disco Another quality slice of trippy house, despite the cheesy "YMCA" house from the remix team that 1 sample (I). Vocals provided by brought you the best version of Georgiajones of Plux/Over & Over Delacy's classic "I lldeaway". Check fame - and doesn't she do well, out Deep Dish's Stay Dark Mix for everyone? - clap, clap, clap. a sweeping house sound and the Morales mix for a more conven 1 Best Mix - Original Mix tional approach. It goes - "On lop of the world, everybody, you can take the Best Mix = David Morales mix world..." (Don't always rely on the It goes - "It's so bright, tonight" these lyrics cos I make 'em up Out now H- when I feel like it) Been out for three weeks so go and buy It (maybe!).

(Okav. trainspolters. so we've 1 nicked the last feature from Mix- Roobarb mag, but. hey, who cares? 2 November 1998 Clubbing 23 P-

Newly refurbished since its days of r Villiers Street, Charing Cross Road, WC2. Fridays, £4/£8, 10.30 - 6am, capacity - hosting some of the legendary house 1750. No strict door policy. nights of the early nineties, like Rage, it has been getting lots of rave reviews in Top night out. Whether you like to the club music press, so I'd better oblige, II wear your Marks and Spencer jumper hadn't I? This place really does it for me. tucked in or prefer tight black leathers, I like big dubs and Heaven is one of the Sonique, you'll be welcomed with open arms. larger ones here in the big smoke. It's full II Most people, you'll find, are somewhere of little bars and chili out areas and for in the middle. There's very little atti once the dance floors are big enough to the cro%% tude, unlike many clubs of this calibre. move around on. But it's not just the set m The diversity of the crowd brings with it ting that's top. It's also about those little a great atmosphere; people do what things that you appreciate. I he door pol i >»&-,tars!, ; W Iwk. Way- faf * tf r they're own thing and everyone's happy. icy is relaxed, but the people who come You'd be hard pushed to find anyone here still make an effort. If only things s there who doesn't want to be. A line of were like that at al! clubs. And, the l

thing else from fhe tnd. You even get a postcard for every one of the nights in case you want to tell your mates about Ihem, or just use them to skin up with >f=Ki3=#tm 24 Film 2 November 1998 Reviews Halloween H20 **

Starring : Jamie Lee Curtis, Adam Arkin, Josh Harknett, Michelle Williams Director: Steve Miner

orror movies are clearly back in tor Steve Miner and writer Robert Zappia vogue, thanks to the massive commit the cardinal sin of predictability, H hits Scream and Scream 2. never leaving you in any doubt over Consequently all the big Hollywood stu who's going to live and who's going to dios have leapt upon the opportunity to die. resurrect that jaded old format - the hor As far as the plot is concerned, the ror franchise. Witness December's premise is a simple one. Jamie Lee Cur rushed appearance of / Still Know What tis has faked her death, moved to Cali You Did Last Summer, hot on the heels fornia and changed her name from of last year's minor hit. Worst of all, Laurie Strode to Keri Tate. Now a suc however, greedy execs have seized cessful headmistress and mother, she is upon the opportunity to resuscitate still haunted by the dark deeds of her those franchises that we all hoped were brother, the infamous Michael Myers, dead and buried. twenty years ago. Now those of you who Consequently, we now see the biz- have hacked through the entire fran zarely monicered Halloween 1120 thrust chise will recall that when Michael sup upon us - the seventh installment in the posedly died, they never found his body. seemingly immortal Halloween franchise. Obviously, in horror franchise terms that's Michael Myers first started Jamie Lee as good as saying he's still alive. Well, Curtis around with a "very big knife"IM in Ooooooh- Spooky now he's back.... John Carpenter's original twenty years Ultimately, however, it's the ending ago (hence the title), and since then the of an hour you can't help feeling that the Yet where Scream was so successful, that really spoils Halloween 1120. At less bodycount has steadily continued to rise, writers have seen Scream once too often. Halloween 1120 falls flat. For starters, it than ninety minutes in length, there's not whilst production values have slowly Young innocent girls are brutally stabbed lacks the humour and self-knowing irony enough time to develop any believable evaporated. (preferably whilst wearing tight tops); of Wes Craven's recent work - so rather characters or atmosphere, and conse All this was supposed to end with the Jamie Lee Curtis gives a start every time than looking amusing and ironic, it just quently the denouement just seems out release of Halloween 1120 - a genuine someone walks up behind her; and looks stupid. Secondly, the direction isn't of place when it arrives. It's surprising, but horror movie for the post-Scream gen everybody behaves as if they're really, in the same class. There's no sense of that doesn't stop it being bad.D eration. Indeed for the first three-quarters really stupid. tension or genuine fear. Above all, direc Dave

Record of Lodoss war * * Iria - Zieram: The Animation * * * *

ioneer, the company responsible Iria Zieram: The Animation for distributing Lodoss War and P Iria has a good history of releasing espite only being given quality anime. Kishin Corps and The Episodes 5 and 6 of this anime llakkenden, despite their strange titles, D to review, the basic plot is have offered a great deal of enjoyment extremely easy to grasp. Zeiram is a in terms of animation and storyline, so being that simply melds and consumes were these two videos up to that high its enemies. With the ability to clone standard? himself and its prey, Zeiram is running amok on the Iria's home planet Myce. Record of Lodoss War Looking past our heroine's attractive armour and big gun Iria is a character that has been tormented by the loss of ecord of Lodoss War is based on a Japanese role playing game of her brother to this monstrosity. The R video is a very original piece of anime, the same name. As with most Pioneer titles the series spans over sev attempting to reinvent the wheel in eral volumes (in this case six video terms of the overall design. The strange tapes) and so buying the whole series vehicle and buildin designs and the may be prohibitive. The videos are a bewildering aray of gadgets are simply enlightening and beautiful. Iria - mixture of Dungeons & Dragons and dwarf warrior (Ghim). Within all conflicts the dubbing tends to be a bit corny and Zieram is a superb example of good the crusades, with King Marmo wishing there are wars and bloodshed, and with the numerous characters with their anime and with only three volumes it's to seize control of the island of Lodoss, Record of Lodoss War shows them vivid own stories to tell, it is easy to loose not that expensive.D while the main story centres on a young ly. The animation is detailed and track of the sub plots. knight (Parn), an elf (Deedlit) and a smooth and can't be faltered. I lowever Magpie 2 November 1998 Film 25

Reviews A Competition

Primary Colours * * COMPETITION

Starring : John Travolta, Emma Thompson, Billy Bob Thornton Director: Joe Dante WINNERS

ant to see more of the Bill rom the mountain of correct WClinton sex scandal but would F entries received for last week's like it to be a bit more interest Exorcist competition, only five ing? Then go to the cinema some time could be victorious. The first five lucky soon. Just when you thought you had names out of the virtual hat were: got away from the Stargate sex scandal here comes Primary Colours. It's slightly more interesting than watching four Ketan Gudka hours of Clinton talking about BJ's but not much. Ay Lin Kho You have a story based loosely on the rise of Bill Clinton to the American Samuel Taniere presidency. John Travolta plays Jack Stan ton, an American governor from 'down Peter Daplyn south' who wants to become president. It is a film about sex scandals but it does Paul Chambers try to touch on some sentimental issues regarding relationships towards the end. There was a promising mix of talent They all correctly identified that The Exor- in this flick but the best was Kathy Bates c/sfwas first released in 1973 (December as Libby, Stanton's lesbian political pro Remind you of anyone.....? 25th to be precise), and thus this week's tector. But then again, has she ever given re-release commemorates the twenty- a bad performance? Emma Thompson it is more of a drama with one-liners there is nothing better to do. fifth anniversary of one of the greatest was adequate as the president's wife dropped in here and there. When these If you want to know how 'they' get horror movies ever made. but the accent wasn't up to scratch. Tra one-liners appeat they are witty. Don't go away with things but don't want to resort Please drop into the Felix office (in volta eased into this role if not a little too and see this and expect to get action or to the conspiracy theory then watch this the Quad archway) as soon as possible comfortably. He also looked remarkably a well thought out plot because it isn't film.rj to pick up your tickets. like the current Ametican president. there. This is more the sort of film Helen This film is classified as a comedy but required on a Sunday afternoon when

You're reading ic Radio IC Radio: from South Kensington to the World!

C Radio has at last and the project failed. I lowever, due to I was walking through halls the other You can contribute to IC Radio in got its arse into gear the explosion of the Internet we are giv day and it dawned on me that a lot of another way even if you don't want to be (aren't suppositories ing it another go, and are now broad people don't actually know what IC Radio directly involved. By phoning 58085 or great!) and is broadcast- casting in Real Audio every lunchtime is about, so as I have some space left I'll 58100 you get a line directly to the radio ip ing again. OK, saying between 12 and 2pm. This will be try to set the record straight. We are run where you can make requests for your lb we're broadcasting is a extended to 24 hours a day when we entirely by students, for students (we favourite tunes, or enter one of our fab bit of an exaggeration, considering if work out how to can't afford sab ulous competitions. you want to actually pick up IC Radio do it. Although baticals). Any Another way that you can get you have to have a satellite dish the size we are initially one can take involved is to join our music team. This of Wales and be sitting next to the Dj in limited to an part in the radio is a group of people that get together our studio (if you want to try to perform Internet audi - you can get once a week to fill In the reaction sheets a miracle, try picking us up on 999am). ence of 25, if the trained up and that let record labels know what we think I lowever, our clever technical manager project proves have done your of their music. No matter what your taste has wired us up to all the kitchens in successful we first solo show in music you can take part - from jazz to Southside halls, as well as to the JCR will extend our within a week of jungle, reggae to rock. People who work (although it's not actually working yet). maximum audi popping your on the music team get to go to free Consequently, listening figures peak ence ad infini face in the door. gigs, and get free CDs. A position on the when the station manager decides to tum. If your enthusi music team means that you can get to tune in. If all these asm is more sample what its like to be a part of IC I lowever, this is all set to change. IC grand plans do materialise, then we are towards the club DJing side of things, you Radio but without too much commit Radio is currently experimenting with going to hold the mother of all parties to can get involved in discos. Despite its ment or responsibility. Internet Broadcasting, whereby we will launch the venture- and you're ali invited name, DJ's from all musical backgrounds If you want to listen to IC Radio over able to broadcast to the whole wide (along with some of the big cheese are involved. As well as doing external the Internet, our web address Is world, all from our studio next to South- music industry bods, local and national functions (for which you get paid), you Http://lcradio.su.Ic.ac.uk. We're currently side Shop (how exciting!). IC Radio was press, and that bloke that got sacked can DJ in 'Ihe Backroom' in Southside Bar broadcasting every weekday from 12- one of the first radio stations to start from Blue Peter to provide refreshments). (free beer and pizza), and if you're into 2pm. To Join the music team just pop Into broadcasting over the Internet back in So, if I were you I'd start thinking about electronic music you may be able to join the radio station next to Southside shop 1990, but its potential was never realised what to wear. Alick at the Union with the Electric Cafe. at any time, and ask for Steve. 26 Clubs & Diversions 2 November 1998

Come rain, come snow, come sleet, come hail - Nothing can stop IC's intrepid explorers. Mountaineering Fellwanderers

We woke up fairly early on the morning whole pub was full of university climbing On Friday, after the minibus was finally two girls in the mini, who gave Tim a nice of Saturday the 17th, crawled out of our clubs: Bristol, De Montfort, Oxford and liberated from Linstead, 14 intrepid Fell- flash. Of their lights, of course. By this tents and paid the nice but insistent Brunell were here. Once everyone had wanderers set off on the first trip of the time, everyone was somewhat damp, so man for the privilege of using his camp settled down to the serious business of year. The majority of these were suckers the unanimous decision was taken to site. Since this was the Peak District, the getting very drunk, with our VP, Gareth, from last year who should have known venture into Glossop, where some time weather wasn't too bad: there was def organising a boat race between the dif better, the others innocent freshers who and money were killed at a tea shop. initely a small patch of blue sky over ferent universities. Unfortunately, the IC now do know better. After fighting Sunday was more promising, so we towards the horizon. We went for break team only finished third (Bristol won), but through London and up the Ml, we walked up Black Hill. The rain mostly fast at a cafe between the campsite and much fun was had by all. After closing finally arrived at the hostel in Crowden. held off, and there were even sunny the crags, and then stopped in the village time we returned to the campsite to After a cup of tea, we retired before spells, although one group discovered of Heathersage to pick up food for lunch. find a hard frost, but we ignored this in the conversation degenerated too far. As hail blown by gale force winds is not very This turned into a fairly long delay as sev the cause of inter-club relations and the dawn broke, so did a wave of pleasant. The quality of the path varied eral members were gripped by con- stayed up drinking and watching the lethargy over the hostel, as the curtains from knee deep peat to motorway qual sumerist frenzy and disappeared into stars for an hour or so. were pulled back by bleary eyed fell- ity path, although this was regularly inter the "Outdoors" shop, emerging with Sunday morning was bright and wanderers to see water - everywhere. cepted by the river, causing a few wet lighter wallets and shiny new gear. clear, but still very cold. Stannagc was Most of it coming at a sharp angle feet. A walk further south in the district The crag at Stannage was fairly quiet, much busier than Saturday so we went through the air due to the gale force was the last walking of the trip, through and we were soon climbing - for many to the next crag along. We had an excel winds accompanying it. The curtains and over a valley that looked a little wet Freshers this was their first experience of lent afternoon's climbing, with all the were drawn again, and bodies returned ter than it should. The river lapping at the outdoor rock. The wind at the top of the new members getting several routes under the duvets. farmhouse was the giveaway for that. crag was incredibly cold, so after one done. As the day ended, everyone gath Eventually, everyone was up, and More cups of tea all round, then plough route most people took a break for ered round the base of the crag to watch the decision made to venture into the ing down the M1 in search of dinner. lunch. It started raining shortly after two, Rob attempt to lead a fairly hard over wetlands. This was partly due to the lack A few adventures later (let's just say and after about half an hour of down hang. He backed off eventually, after of alternatives - the hostel was publicis we won't be going to Toddington again), pour we gave up on the chance of any spending a long time sat on a small ing an exhibition of allotments past, pre we finally settled for the good old Che more climbing that day and retired to the ledge trying to figure out how to pro sent and future. So we went for a level quers pub. So, the trip drew to a close. pub. We headed back to the campsite at ceed, encouraged by several hecklers trek around nearby reservoirs on a dis Very wet, but it takes a lot more than a about half past five and established our and the occasional paper missile. We used railway line. A short section along bit of rain to keep the Fellwanderers selves in the Robin Hood Inn just down returned to London refreshed after a the main road was necessary, with the down. You ain't seen nothing yet! the road. good weekend. shorts wearers providing great enter For details of the club, please contact It soon became obvious that the tainment for the drivers, especially the James Clarke [email protected].

Around IC Mon 2 Tues 3 Wed 4 Thurs 5 Fri 6 Sat 7 Sun 8

CAG Meeting 6pm HUSTINGS - CXWMS Consoc 1-2pm Labsoc 1 pmIC U Ents - Pop Tarts Erasmus Bonfire Night ICU Ents - Standing Basement of Beit Quad Reynolds Building 6pm Dr Liam fox MP Chris Pond MP dB's 9pm-2am Beit Quad Arch 7pm Room Only 4pm 542 Mech Eng HUSTINGS-SOUTH KEN CAG Soup Run 8pm Simon Blcndis & James ICU Ents - Electric Cafe ICU Cinema dB's 6pm Basement, Weeks Hall HUSTINGS-ST MARY'S Kirby Concert 1-1.45pm dB's 8pm-12am Zulu 7pm Gladys' 6pm Read Theatre, Sherfield ICU Ents - Standing ICU Ents - DaVinci's Room Only 7pm Quiz Night 8pm ICU Cinema ICU Ents - DaVinci's Species 2 6pm Cocktail Bonfire Night Dark City 8.30pm 5-11 pm

ICU Ents-Club XS ICU Cinema dB's 9pm-1am Divorcing Jack 6pm Species 2 8.30pm

CAG Soup Run 8pm Basement, Weeks Hall

Erasmus Pub Night Southside Lounge 8pm

Clayponds trip to the firework display at Ravenscourt Park. For more info contact [email protected] 2 November 1998 Sport 27 Rugby like any good diving guru should. "Slick" Simon Gutterage walked ist xv After half lime, Jamie "Pieman Super 2nd XV through Bart's defence, leaving them man" Duggin, having had his pies in the for dead with Linfordesque pace. "Siz IC 29 -10 Bart's interval, flopped over the line to score IC 51 - 0 Bart's zling" Stu Catt the prop with a 10 second and lost the ball in his gut. "Babyshoes" 100m run shot through to effectively kill IC turned up with the usual promptness, Dickenson converted to make the score Bart's crumpled under the pressure Bart's chances of respectability. Man of 20 minutes before kick-off. Despite start 17-5 inflicted by IC, and will probably never the match and purple helmet of the ing the game playing into a gale, Will Following a few minutes of dodgy recover. week belongs to Yann "the Yokel" Lewis "Stubbs" Sterns charged over for a well refereeing, we managed to avoid getting In all fairness, they were a good who egged on the side and promised deserved first try for IC. penalised and played some magnificent team, but the IJ's steamrollered them on sexual favours for the win. finally Oily Following that, Bart's camped on running rugby from the forwards, the way to another famous victory. The "The Organist" didn't score because he our line, but failed to score, even though "Rapist" Nipply being hauled down short scoring was opened by Dunk "the was crap. the ref. was helping them as much as he of the line. "Hogger" Philip actually Thunk" Brett and was the cue for the "Slim" Jim Robinson back from crip possibly could. Eventually the hand of passed (!) for Chris Dickenson to touch floodgates to open and spectacular tries pling knee injury led the team from the God (the rcf.) intervened and Barts down converting his own try. to be scored by Jim "the Knife" Sorpper front. The wheelchair proved a bit of a scored a lucky try. A lapse in concentration allowed and Jon " the Man" Stevenson, scoring problem in the line out, but he used il Back came IC, displaying a blinding Bart's to score, but we replied in the with a beautiful jaunty try. Alex "the to dazzling effect in the loose. Two array of silky skills where forwards and final minutes for a seamless try by Segun Angel" Deuise scored and also slotted in other tries were scored by the magnifi backs linked together exquisitely, Tref to cap a memorable performance and a 3 conversions through the posts in cent Flgo, back from an Lngland-U21 "Telfa" Beynan diving into the corner, just good win. Keep it up, fellas! almost dangerously windy conditions. trial. Dunk "the Thunk" Football Hockey And so the Fourths keep marching on. where you live Rob. We have not had Despite the shadows cast over them by "disciplinary problems" and we were not IC 3rd XI Ladies Hockey the London Student newspaper the in ICU disciplinary hearings "every week". Fourths produced two supreme perfor We had just one hearing and that was for IC 4 - 0 GTK's ICSM 6 - 0 IC mances to set them on the road in BUSA an over-reaction and held in front of a and cement themselves at the top of the kangaroo court that found us guilty Firstly we would like to apologise for our the medic ladies stormed to victory after division-well we must be, played 2, won before the start... I could go on, but suf controversial comments made in last an exciting match with much friendly 2, scored 8, conceded 0, who could have fice to say my barrister is taking a deep weeks match report about the quality of rivalry. a record better than that? look into the paper and if an apology is Felix (See Felix 1123, P27, Unknown IC On the pitch nimble Ridgeway London Student's allegations were not forthcoming we could take legal thirds 7- 0 ICSM). No really. dodged and weaved around the IC disgraceful, firstly the line "LS have action against LS for slander. In a messy game against a crap defence beating the IC goalie, Corner, tracked down the 4th Division pot to Onto the games, versus QM, the team we triumphed 4-0. Chris Bull led to put away a fantastic first goal. Alice, Imperial College, who have been hoard squad was Dave, Nick, Perez, John, Elliot, from the front with 2 goals from Chris the Charing Cross striker, was deamed ing the silverware since they won the title Bola, Adam, Dave, Simon, Gum, Tom, Bull. Most Valuable Player after her first hat- the previous year", is utter rubbish. We Mark and Aidan, Everybody played Indian Carpet Catalogue dived and trick for the combined Marys-Charing were never given the trophy, and how superbly and the goals were scored by shimmed, and converted a beautiful Cross team. can you track something down without Dave, Gurn and a screamer of a free kick short corner. Steve Cram stood solid at Skill and speed made her a formi talking to any of the relevant people? The byjohn through the 'keeper's hands. Ver the back, presenting any attcmps at dable adversary for the IC team who whole article was trash journalism. At sus UCL, who actually played with penetration, much to Flltum's annoy were left astounded. least when the Sun or Mirror do an ringers, our play was one of the best ever ance, liltrum, although demonstrating Other notable performances came expose they talk to the people and find by an IC Fourths squad. Every player copius effort in the first half, still failed from Dixon and Rowland where com out their reaction- they might not print it played their hearts out. Two additional to produce fluid movements. In the munication and passing were key in or they alter it, but at least they attempt players came in- Richard and Stuart. Our second half, after a few false rumblings, leaving the IC girls behind. to contact the appropriate sides. And goal was scored by Aidan following a he exploded and planted one in the The IC team had a few breaks in the calling us bastards is very unfair, though screamer of a free kick byjohn through back of the goal. second half but the medics were quick the person with that quote didn't dare to the 'keeper's hands (!). It was cold. As a final note: (to the tune of Urn to respond in defence, powerfully clear publish his name- though we know (Scores below left) Bongo, in a club style) ing the ball to the forwards. 'Here comes RE-ZU-LA, everybody's All in all a very exciting game - and SCOREBOARD frightened, much celebration in the medics bars Netball Here comes Tommy Cantle, all our aftetwards. Football sphincters tighten, So far this term the netball teams remain DISCO BOYS!' Attention Sports Teams! ULU League (Sat 24th October) unbeaten. The first team arc unbeaten I thank you. Div 2 IC II 2-0 Id III in the BUSA matches, having played LSE Please try to have ali your match reports Div 3 UCLV 0-1 IC IV (won 24-14), St Georges (won 13-9) and in by 8pm on Wednesday. I am usually Div 5 ICMS IV 0-3 IC V mostly recently Guys, Kings and St. Wanted in the I elix office typing them up from Div 6 ICVI 0-13 RAM Thomas' (won 33-17). about 7, so just come straight in and The second team played the IC Mens Hockey looking for more play hand them to me. It usually helps if they Malaysian team last week and won ers of any standard. are legible. Also, there are lots of BUSA (Wednesday 21st October) despite a close match. Contact [email protected] or write teams/sports I haven't heard from yet. QMWCIV 1-3 I CIV Well done everyone. your name and contact details on the This is your chance to tell the (college) hockey noticeboard at the foot of the world about yourselves! Gus union stairs. 28

CRYPTIC CROSSWORD Across Down by Gnat Chum 1 Cell I tip becomes almost round.(8) 1 Bury in trench grave.(6) 4 He spins or seams perhaps, to arm 2 Add on leg to become very late?(4,4) the French right.(6) 3 O.K., a loud Scandinavian is volatlle.(8) 9 Fish swallows medic in icy waste.(6) 4 He fields care of a backwards vicar.( 5) 10 Many different sweets for pesky ani- 6 Band plays some happy cow noise mals.(8) backwards.(6) 11,16 Switch positions for positions?(3- 7 Man on the boundary has insignia 3) and (3-2) going about North. North!(4,2) 12 Small car in a burn-out.(8) 8 Set, set or set for a prize?(8) 15 Imperial College has speed back - it 13 Incapable United Nations bale out.(6) gives one a cold head?(3,3) 14 Celebrity is about word we hear.(6) 16 See 11. 16 Throw ugly dog at particle for 17 One can open them so Rod can get change.(8) around.(5) 17 Come back, vermin! English river 19 Lassie's one vegelable?(6) sounds first for Clinton's type?(8) 23 Old lunar clutter on all sides.(3-5) 18 Wandering into real Eastern.(8) 25 Business with green French secret.(6) 20 Car hire put in red?(6) 27 See 28. 21 Gunge gave leg yorker at first - it 28,27 Details arc fuul of mites and spins the wrong way.(6) gravel?(5,6) 22 Spend time in the middle when 29 Hint a lot right about event.(9) cable is in place.(4,2) 24 five hundred behind. Miserable!(5)

Answers to 1122

Across: 1. Grass 9. amnesia 10. illicit Down: 2. Rolling 3. Skittled 4. Gathers 11. Hypnotise 12. Mixture 13. Rip 5. Bagpipe 6. Snoozes 7. Aspirin 8. Eater 14. Igneous 16. tP's 18. Nap 20. Ash 15. UFO 17. Pie 19. Cannabis 20. Abscond 22. SOP 24. Becalms 26. Leo 27. Grinned 21. Hashish 22. Scoring 23. PLanted 28. Coherency 29. Mud-bath 30. No 24. Bogy-man 25. Maestro sense 31. Ascot

Free Tickets to The Telegraph Cheap Beer - £7 a pint! Board-X Festival! And a chance to win £25,000...

All the new technical gear The Firkin Brewery are giving you the As a part of their promotion, The and street fashion for the chance to win a massively huge kin Brewery have allowed Felix to 98/99 snowboarding season £25,000, as well as sending oi.e print the voucher below, which enti will be unveiled at Board-X, lunnci up and . i lU' 'i i" io n ' tles you to a pint for a pound. London's annual snow- Mediterranean for a sun-JMM L Unfortunately you have to use boarding festival. Inside the soaked holiday. All you have flHH 1 '-i! .::'i ii ihi Phaiaoh K 3500 square metre hall to do to win these and many ' Firkin in Fulham High Street erected in Battersea Park, other fantastic prizes is waltz : ...... (near Putney Bridge tube). Time leading distributors wil down to your local I irkin, get to look up your friends In SW6... gather to show off their latest wares, alongside a free advice centre and seminars scratchcard with every pint ant hosted by Snowboard UK Magazine. Snow and skateboard videos will run all day just scratch away... in the super chilled cK Eyewear Lounge, and the Playstation Games Hall will pro vide hands-on fun. Best of all, however, outside Battersea Park will play host to an awesome 60m real snow freestyle jump, where some of the World's top riders will gather for the London Big Air competition. Plus, thanks to Burton (the world's leading snowboard THE FI EWERY brand), a 25m public trial slope will stand alongside. Some of the world's top skaters are expected to let rip on the Quicksilver vert ramp. To ensure a party atmosphere, some of London's top DJ will be mixing live all day, and to top il all off, Radio One will be broadcasting live from the event. a pint for a Board-X will be open daily from 10 till 8 on the 13th, 14th and 15th November. Daily tickets cost £9 on the gate or £7 pre-booked. For tickets and information call 0171 490 4707. To win one of two pairs of tickets to the show or a host of runncrs-up prizes, i£af pound simply answer the following question:

What Is the name of the number one snowboard brand worldwide? p this voucher is valid at the PHARA0H&FIRKIN (f [Terms and Conditions 1. This entitles a cuslomcr to one pint of firkin Ale at the reduced price of £1. 2. Offer limitcdl to one redemption per person for the duration of the promotion. 3. Only available at the outlet shown. 4. No pho-l locopics accepted. 5. No cash alternative available. 6. Cannot be used in conjunction with any other promotional The deadline for entries is noon on Wednesday. Winners names will appear here offer. 7. Offer only open to persons of 18 or over. 8. Offer valid until 16/11/98 9. Subject to availability. 10. Cash [value 0.001 p. 11. Promoter reserves the riqht to withdraw or suspend the promotion at any lime Promoter: The ffrkinj next week. Brewery Company, 107 Station Street, Burton On Trent, Df14 1BZ