A Book of Creatures A Book of Creatures United States Hugag Va ria tio ns : Rythmope s inarticulatus (Cox), Re clinor rigidus (Tryon) The Animal That Cannot Lie Down is a near-universal tale arrived at independently by multiple cultures and commonly attached to accounts of the moose. The Hugag is another permutation of this theme repackaged for the whimsical world of backwoods tall tales. Whether it came spontaneously into existence, was derived from native tales of the Stiff-Legged Bear, or is a bit of Classical jokery from Cox, none can say for certain. Hugags are found in lumberwoods territory, including Minnesota, Wisconsin, and Canada, and are the largest beasts of the lumberwoods. Cox describes them as looking like enormous moose, with the chief difference being jointless legs and overdeveloped upper lips. The head and neck are hairless, covered by a leathery skin. The ears are corrugated and floppy. The feet have four toes, and the coat and long tail are shaggy. Tryon adds more detail, giving it a warty snout, a bald, lumpy head, and pine needles for hair. It stands 13 feet tall and weighs up to 6,000 pounds. Pitch oozes from its pores. A hugag is completely incapable of lying down. It is constantly on the move, browsing from trees by wrapping its upper lip around branches, and occasionally stripping bark. Pine knots are its favorite food. It sleeps by leaning against a tree. Bent trees, posts, and cabins are signs of a hugag’s passing. Hugag hunters can easily bag their quarry by sawing almost completely through a tree, so that when a hugag leans against it the tree collapses, leaving the animal helpless on the ground. Most of the time it is difficult to find hugags, mainly because they disguise themselves as piles of pine slash. Fortunately hugags are quite harmless, barring cases when they lean on houses. Mike Flynn is the current record-holder hugag hunter, having killed a massive 1,800-pounder on the Turtle River, Minnesota. It was a juvenile. Re fe re nc e s Beck, H. P. (1949) The animal that cannot lie down. Journal of the Washington Academy of Sciences, 39(9), pp. 294-301. Cox, W. T. (1910) Fe arsome Cre ature s of the Lumbe rwoods with a Fe w De se rt and Mountain Be asts. Judd and Detweiler, Washington D. C. Dorson, R. M. (1982) Man and Be ast in Ame rican Comic Le ge nd. Indiana University Press, Bloomington. Tryon, H. H. (1939) Fe arsome Critte rs. The Idlewild Press, Cornwall, NY. 4 C O MMENT S LEAVE A C O MMENT JANU ARY 7,, 20 19 AB O O KO FC REAT U RES C ANAD A,, FEARS O ME C RIT T ERS ,, FO RES T AND MO U NT AIN,, H,, U NIT ED S T AT ES FEARS O ME C RIT T ERS ,, NO RT H AMERIC AN FO LKLO RE Devil-jack Diamond-fish Va ria tio ns : Diamond fish, Devil fish, Jack fish, Garjack, Litholepe, Litholepe adamantin, Lithole pis adamantinus John James Audubon is remembered today as an artist and ornithologist of considerable import. His practical jokes are less well known, and began with the unexpected arrival of Constantine Samuel Rafinesque at Hendersonville, Kentucky. Rafinesque was a brilliant, enthusiastic, “exceedingly remarkable”, and very eccentric young naturalist who tested Audubon’s hospitality. After they had retired to bed, Audubon was roused by a commotion coming from Rafinesque’s room. As he describes it, “I saw my guest running naked, holding the handle of my favorite violin, the body of which he had battered to pieces in attempting to kill the bats which had entered the open window!” Rafinesque was convinced the bats were new species. Audubon was not amused. Perhaps to avenge his smashed violin, Audubon decided to take advantage of Rafinesque’s credulity and eagerness to describe new species. He solemnly supplied Rafinesque with 10 drawings of completely fictitious fish, which were duly named and described in detail. The likes of the bigmouth sturgeon and the flatnose doublefin caused headaches for ichthyologists and tarnished Rafinesque’s reputation beyond repair. The Devil-jack Diamond-fish (Lithole pis adamantinus) is surely the most remarkable of those faux fishes, as evidenced by Rafinesque’s breathless description. This “wonder of the Ohio” is found only as far up as the falls and probably in the Mississippi as well. Rafinesque claimed to have seen it from a distance, and seen some of its scales, but otherwise he “principally relied upon the description and figure given [him] by Mr. Audubon”. We are fortunate enough to have a complete and detailed description of the devil-jack. It is classified among the garfish but is quite unique. The body is blackish and fusiform, 4 to 10 feet long and up to 400 pounds in weight. The head takes up a fourth of the total length. The snout alone is large (as long as the head), convex above, and obtuse. The eyes are small and black, with the nostrils in front of them. The mouth is transverse and has large angular teeth. Dorsal and anal fins are of equal length, the tail is obtusely bilobed, and there is no lateral line. The body is covered in oblique rows of conical pentagonal brown scales, half an inch to one inch in diameter; they become the color of turtle shell when dried. The scales are the devil-jack’s main claim to fame, as they are hard as flint, completely bulletproof, and repel hooks. They produce sparks when struck against steel. Only nets or the strongest hooks can take a devil-jack. It is inedible and a voracious hunter, usually seen lying motionless at the surface like a log. The scales are a miracle of nature, for “they strike fire with steel! and are ball proof!” [sic] Re fe re nc e s Jordan, D. S. (1886) Rafine sque . The Popular Science Monthly, June 1886. Rafinesque, C. S. (1820) Ichthyologia Ohie nsis. W. G. Hunt, Lexington, Kentucky. JU NE 19 ,, 20 17 AB O O KO FC REAT U RES D ,, FIS HES ,, PO ND AND RIVER,, U NIT ED S T AT ES FIS H FO LKLO RE,, NO RT H AMERIC AN FO LKLO RE Roperite Va ria tio ns : Rhynchoropus flage lliformis (Cox), Pse udoe quus nasire tinaculi (Tryon) The Roperite is one of the few Fearsome Critters found outside the northern lumberwoods. Its home is in the foothills of the Sierra Nevada where the digger pine grows, and it tends to live in herds. An active and gregarious animal, it has not been seen in a while, and there is concern that it may already be extinct. Roperite biology is a mystery. We know that it is the size of a small pony, and that it has a a remarkable rope-like beak which it uses to lasso its prey. Its skin is leathery and impervious to the thorn and rock of its chaparral habitat. Its legs are well-developed and flipper-like. A. B. Patterson of Hot Springs, CA, reported a tail with a large set of rattles. It is unknown whether roperites are bipedal or quadrupedal, whether they are fish, fowl, or beast, and whether they lay eggs, give birth to live young, or emerge fully-formed from mountain caves. Local legend has it that they are the reincarnated ghosts of Spanish ranchers. Roperites run at blistering speed. Their legs give them a gait halfway between bounding and flying. Nothing can outrun them, and no obstacle can slow them down. Even roadrunners are trampled or kicked aside. Roperites are predators that chase down their prey and lasso them with incredible dexterity, then proceed to drag their through thornbushes until they die. The rattles on the tail are used to impressive effect during the chase, intimidating quarry with a whirring din worthy of a giant rattlesnake. Jackrabbits and the occasional lumberjack are taken. Re fe re nc e s Brown, C. E. (1935) Paul Bunyan Natural History. Madison, Wisconsin. Cox, W. T. (1910) Fe arsome Cre ature s of the Lumbe rwoods with a Fe w De se rt and Mountain Be asts. Judd and Detweiler, Washington D. C. Tryon, H. H. (1939) Fe arsome Critte rs. The Idlewild Press, Cornwall, NY. JU NE 9 ,, 20 17 AB O O KO FC REAT U RES B IRD S ,, C ALIFO RNIA,, D ES ERT AND C AVE,, FEARS O ME C RIT T ERS ,, FO RES T AND MO U NT AIN,, HYB RID S ,, MAMMALS ,, PLAINS AND FIELD S ,, R,, REPT ILES ,, U NIT ED S T AT ES FEARS O ME C RIT T ERS ,, NO RT H AMERIC AN FO LKLO RE Fearsome Critters Va ria tio ns : Fearsome Creatures, Paul Bunyan Creatures, Lumberjack Tall Tales, and so on “Fearsome Critter” is a catchall term used for a mixed and problematic grouping of creatures. They are all said to hail from lumberjack tall tales, primarily from the American northern lumberwoods but including a few representatives from southern states. They share the same folkloric origin that gave us the likes of Paul Bunyan and Pecos Bill, but instead of folk heroes, they are said to be pranks, bogeys, stories told to frighten greenhorns and tenderfoots. Experienced lumberjacks can sit back and get a good laugh after sending someout out on a futile snipe hunt, or snicker to themselves as the newcomer starts checking behind him for a stalking hidebehind. The Australian drop bear is a non-American example of this sort of creature.