Felix Issue 1103, 1998

ACTION PACKED JUMBO CROSSWORD

Eleven Pages of Win 187 Videos Features

Hall Rooms Raided

NEWS TEAM there's a sudden increase and I the police are now co-operating to want to see some action taken to investigate the crimes. Residents of Bernard Sunley rectify the situation... It's a mys- The investigators currently House in Evelyn Gardens have tery why it's happening, no master have very little evidence to work been hit by spate of mystery keys are missing." on, although the police are thought thefts, including four robberies Concern has also been raised to have been examining finger- in the last week alone. over the level of security cover for prints in the area. Meanwhile, stu- Problems started last term Evelyn Gardens, after the security dents in the hall are becoming when a student had a laptop com- lodge was closed for financial rea- increasingly worried about puter stolen from a locked room sons last year. Ken Weir, IC's Chief strangers having access to their during renovation work. The inci- Security Officer, denied that this rooms, with one resident seriously dents of theft have increased since was a factor; "Not for one minute considering leaving. "The place I'm then and items swiped include a would it have made any differ- living is dingy, small, has poor walkman, a playstation, a cash box ence", he argued, adding that the security and generally sucks", Felix and around £1000 worth of photo- layout of the halls made standard was told. graphic equipment. Property has security patrols ineffective. "The Anyone noticing any suspicious also disappeared from the war- thieves can simply target the build- person is encouraged to make a den's and subwarden's flats. All ing that the security officer has just detailed description and inform the rooms are thought to have left." Mr Dashwood disagreed, security on 58900. If a confronta- been locked, and there were no opining "I honestly believe that a tion occurs, or if a thief is actually signs of forced entry. Richard [security] man on site does act as caught in the act, call 999 and then Dashwood, the warden of the hall, a deterrent". He went on to alert security. explained that "I can't think of any explain that he had 'blitzed' the incidents at Bernard Sunley this relevant parties, and that Security, year or the year before, but now the Accommodation Office and

Felix Editor Arrested in Inside,

Drugs Scandal GRAND PRIX DRINKING GAME Double the fun or your money JONATHAN TROUT second staple head. Editor elect, back PaSe 12 Mr Edward Sexton took control of Felix has been cast into disarray the publication following an emer- HELP! and anarchy following the shock gency meeting with ICU represen- Starving? Depressed? Homeless? arrest of its editor Mr Jeremy tatives. It later emerged that Mr Miss your mummy? These men Thomson. Police entered the Sexton himself may be implicated are here to help P^Se '3 newspaper's office in the North in the stunt, having admitted that West corner of Beit Quad late on he stole a Gilson pipette from the RAG IN PICTURES Monday evening and found Mr Biology department for Thomson More nakedness that you can Thomson at his last week. "It was a shake a five pound note at The desk. To the favour for a friend, I page 14 Students' amazement of the had no idea that it COURTNEY PINE assembled student would be used for The undisputed King of British Newspaper journalists, he was illegal purposes", Jazz jams with Felix. Mmm - nice at Imperial detained and explained Mr page 16 charged with the Sexton. Andy ANNUAL EASTER EGG GUIDE College supply of large Thompson, manag- Waste your money and rot your quantities of er of the ICU Print teeth with this esoteric twaddle Lysergic Acid Unit, told Felix that page 18 Diethylamide "It's absolutely LUCID DREAMING Issue (LSD), a class A nothing to do with How to fly, time-travel and sleep drug. me." with Winona Ryder all in the same Thomson is A cross marks the spot; the It is not known night page 20 believed to have alleged location of the drug dot what motivated the 25 March personally placed a editor to engineer MAN OF COLOURS 19 98 small "microdot" of the substance the crime, but the pressures of the Jo Public talks with the great on the cover of all 4,500 copies of Adam F page 32 the Friday 1 3 March issue using the continues on page two NEWS 25 March 1998

ICU Ex-Pres was IRA Man's Lover SABBATICAL IN DRUGS ARREST

All CAMPBELL tion officer, was apparently The police got their first major from front page stunned by the verdict, after giv- lead on the bombing when they job may have been a factor, with The lover of an ex-President of ing evidence that completely were contacted by Colin Garneys, eighty-hour weeks a common Imperial College Union has been backed Gallagher's defence. The a businessman whose suspicions occurrence. According to a source jailed after the discovery of his former IC student was born in had been aroused by the close to the accused, the ploy may involvement in IRA activities, Walsall in the West Midlands and bomber's activities. Gallagher had have been inspired by the Oxford including a mortar attack on joined the Young Communist been renting a lockup garage for University student newspaper Heathrow Airport, several months from Mr. Cherwell which last year attached a according to an article in Garneys under a false number of cannabis seeds to each the Daily Mail newspa- name. The police subse- issue. per. quently bugged the rental Details have yet to emerge on The article, printed in company's phone line, and the possible implications for the the 25 February edition of | thus began a two-year editor and indeed the newspaper the publication, was head- surveillance operation. itself, but the student contributors lined, "The middle-class Gallagher's conversations were said to be bewildered by the academic's love for IRA were also monitored at the news. One writer said: "It's terrible; bomber". BMp former ICU President's it was difficult enough to get every- The bombing took house, where the couple thing finished on time even with the place in March 1994, dur- Oyp lived. support and guidance of a full-time ing which twelve explosive iijiijl Michael Gallagher's sabbatical officer. Eddie is coping missiles were fired at the HMp defence relied heavily on admirably, but I hope for Jeremy's airport. Many shells land- ' his assertion that his activi- sake, and for the sake of the paper, ed in potentially lethal :s around London con that these allegations prove to be locations, including some HBj - isted solely for the pur- false." It remains to be seen devices that landed on the pose of gathering material whether Mr Thomson will be avail- roof of busy Terminal 4 for a novel. Despite back- able to compete his duties next and others that fell close ing from his girlfriend, the term. However, it is expected that to passenger planes. Mary Attenborough on winning the 1978 prosecution stressed that he will be granted bail by today. Luckily all the bombs failed presidential election there was no evidence sug- While it is still not known if the to explode. Photo: Felix Archive gesting she knew anything accusations are true, anyone in Michael Gallagher, the about his IRA involvement, possession of a copy of Felix 1111 fifty-five year old protagonist, was League when still at school, going and the bomber was sentenced, is advised to surrender it to any of convicted of conspiring to cause on to study mathematical physics by to twenty years' imprisonment. the Imperial College Security explosions by a jury majority of at Imperial College. Elected lodges. Under no circumstances eleven to one. His girlfriend, President of Imperial College should any attempt to ingest the forty-three year old Dr. Mary Union for the academic year cover be made, as the quantities of Attenborough, the daughter of a 1978-79, she subsequently lec- any drug that may be present are retired local government educa- tured at South Bank University. unknown and could be hazardous. End of the Road for Bo and Jez?

TONY OFORI held tomorrow, a final decision will plan to eliminate all sources of (Jezebel the fire-engine) and RSMU be made by Union Council on Union funding succeeds. In some (Clem the truck), and are thought Several societies could face whether Artsoc will have their bud- cases this will mean losses of to be enormously valuable due to severe cuts in their budgets fol- get cut from £1500 to £200. This £2000 - money that is of para- their old age and good condition. lowing Union Finance Council will mean that money for perfor- mount importance in the up-keep James Watts, the motor club chair- (UFC) proposals. mance tickets will have to be of the vehicles. With such cuts the man for RCS, argues that if they are The intention is that the motor clubs left to ruin or sold because of a lack motorised mascots societies for other sources for the con- of money that it can only be to the the RSMU, RCSU and C&.GU as well than the stituent col- detriment of the University. The as the ICU Art Society will receive Union. The eges may mascots are "a long standing part virtually no subsidy from the Union reasoning become of college history" that travel up next year. behind it was redundant. and down the country assisting in Following a Budget Advisory as Andy The decision charity work and the general pro- Group (BAG) meeting in which the Heeps, ICU on whether motion of IC "helping to fly the flag budgets of all ICU societies were President, these clubs for the University". The money reviewed, a recommendation was stated "no will receive from the Union is only spent on the put forward questioning the viabili- other society Union funding maintenance of the vehicles: all ty of subsidising the artsoc and the receives the for 1998-99 other money for petrol, etc. is pro- motorised mascots clubs. On types of bene- Photo: RCSU archive will be made vided by the volunteers that look Tuesday 1 7 March, the UFC held a fits as the in an ICU after them. meeting to decide the future of Artsoc", making them "easy tar- meeting next term. finances for the next academic year gets" to bear the brunt of the cuts. The vehicles in question are for these societies. In an emer- The motorised mascots clubs owned by C&.GU (Bo the car and gency meeting scheduled to be will be hit even harder if the UFC's Derrick the motorbike), RCSU 25 March 1998 NEWS

Briefly Cannabis Campaign Hits the Park

ED SEXTON the crowd, including Dodgy, Paul between five and ten thousand FEES SURVEY Weller, Primal Scream and Finley would attend the event, but they This Saturday (28 March) thou- Quaye. have since revised their estimate A "detailed" survey into universi- sands of protesters will inarch and now fear that the crowd may ty life published last week through London in the largest exceed the 16,000 capacity of reveals widespread concern pro-cannabis demonstration to Trafalgar Square. Speaking to Felix, about tuition fees and the with- be held in the capital for thirty Chris Brown, a voluntary helper and drawal of the maintenance years. The event is being organ- spokesperson for the march, sug- grant. Student Life, sponsored ised by the Independent on gested that there may be as many by Channel 4, asked 6,349 final- Sunday, which is attempting to as 30,000 on the rally, although he ists at 19 universities around the increase the profile of its 'decrimi- did point out that "it could be any country, including UCL and IC nalise cannabis' campaign. size". about their finances, lifestyles, Indeed the march already looks The purpose of the demonstra- attitudes to the media and plans set to be a high profile event, with tion is to move the cannabis debate for life. participants including Paul Flynn, on, putting pressure on the govern- 16% of the students inter- the Labour MP heading efforts to ment to review the 1971 Misuse of viewed said had they been change the law on cannabis, and Drugs Act. Mr Brown expressed his made to pay tuition fees of Marco Pennella, founder of the wish for the march to highlight the £1,000 a year they would have Italian Radical Party. A host of Activist Howard Marks smoking serious issues surrounding been unlikely to have come to other politicians and campaigners a hand-rolled cigarette cannabis use, particularly its role in university at all, whilst forty per- are expected to show their sup- relieving the symptoms of many cent of those surveyed would port; Howard Marks, the ex-smug- The march begins at midday by diseases, such as arthritis, MS and have stayed away if they had gler [Felix 1095], will be speaking at Reformers Tree in Hyde Park and AIDS. He added "I don't want it to known about the potential the event, as will Independent on will proceed to Trafalgar Square, be a big spliff rally." £ 10,000 debts they may face on Sunday editor Rosie Boycott, who where the speakers will address the More information about the graduation. The survey also started the campaign last rally. It is uncertain how many peo- march and the Independent on revealed that 66% of students September. Many bands and per- ple will take part in the protest: A Sunday's campaign can be found at considered cannabis an accept- formers are expected to be among few weeks ago police estimated www. independent, co. uk/sindypot/ able drug for personal use, with only 14% approving of cocaine and 5% in favour of heroin and crack. Friends was the most popular TV show and the Spice ULU Election Results - Do You Care? Girls were the personalities with whom students would least like DAVID ROBERTS Westfield Union emerged victorious from the School of Slavonic and to be stuck in a lift. Only one over Mari Williams, to win the elec- East European Studies. She student in six would support the The elections for next year's tion for ULU President. In a bizarre promised to be a "Strong and inde- Conservative Party if there were University of London Union sab- turn-around on previous years', Ms pendent voice, reflecting action". a General Election tomorrow, batical team took place last Williams admission of Labour mem- She saw her primary role as cam- compared with 34% for Labour Monday, attracting heavy criti- bership resulted in boos and jeering paigning, particularly on tuition fees and 22% for the Liberal cism of their electoral process, from the assembled delegates, "an area I feel passionately about... Democrats. and loud bellows of "Farce" from whilst Mr Hyde's promise not to I see them as a threat to basic stu- ICU President Andy Heeps. tow the NUS line was received with dent rights". To this end, she 85 people are eligible to vote in cheers from the floor. Mr Hyde promised to promote access to SCHINDLERS' the elections, which determine next promised to ensure value-for- information on campaigning, year's President, three Vice- money for ULU colleges by including a 'campaigns database' LIFTS Presidents and the editor for ULU's "Providing strong services... looking accessible on the WWW. Like her sttfdent newspaper, London beyond Mallet Street, taking ULU to opponents, Marc Jay and Allan Workers for the company pro- Student. The electoral process it's member colleges... finding Witherick, Ms Kiiroy also promised viding the lifts in the new BMS came under fire from the entire IC untapped areas." Nick Dunnett, to work on the problem of accom- building went on strike this delegation, with last year's ICU from Royal Holloway College, won modation "which is both expensive month over a pay dispute. President, Eric Allsop, suggesting unopposed as VP (Sports). He and insufficiently catered for by col- Following months of arguments that "totalitarian dictatorships show insisted that ULU sport is still leges." between the directors of more signs of democracy", and important, "playing in London wide Finally, Tom Belton, currently Schindlers and the workers' raiding questions as to whether the teams is the only time that we can editor of Roar (the King's College union, where the union claimed general student populace "actually come together as one complete newspaper), was elected as London the proposed deal "greatly care". The main objection was the University", although he did accept Student Editor for 1998-9. Although reduces our earnings while quizzing of the candidates at the that "we need to review ail inter- having no experience at London adversely affecting our individual discretion of the returning officer, collegiate sport so that everyone Student, Mr Belton promised to contracts" and saw the strike as who was not a himself a student. can maximise their potential". In his ensure that "the paper will come their only alternative. Schindlers Amongst those elected was Rob manifesto Mr Dunnett also out fortnightly and in full colour", declined to comment on the Clark, this year's Deputy President promised to prioritise safety, so making it "a reliable and regular matter and denied the very exis- (Finance &. Services) at ICU, who that "every sportsperson knows entity". He also promised to secure tence of the strike. Phil Hilton, won unopposed as ULU VP that they play in a 'Safe Sport'", and a 28 day FM radio license "to cover Schal's BMS Project Executive, (Finance Societies) for 1998-9, to strive to increase outside spon- freshers week", and to secure a said that the work was still on on a platform of financial stability sorship. profitable advertising deal, so that schedule to end in mid May. and accountability. The third Vice-President posi- "it will eventually make a profit and Elsewhere, Matt Hyde, present- tion, that of VP (Welfare 8. Student cease to be a drain on Union ly President of Queen Mary &. Affairs), was filled by Bee Kiiroy, funds." MONITOR. COMPANY Strategy Consulting

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9.30am - 5.00pm (Wed 10.00am - 5.00pm) 25 March 1998 LETTERS

Letters to Felix.

EASTERN PROMISES sidising certain of these trips, less worthy than other clubs. Artsoc has enabled over 220 mem- Yours faithfully, Dear Sir bers to appreciate the cultural Angela Parkin, Chem Eng 2 The Times (No. 66144) reports events that they would otherwise Artsoc chairperson X that Newcastle University have set be unable to see, and to meet like- e-mail: [email protected] aside £250,000 as part of a pack- minded students who are interest- age of assistance for Far East stu- ed in the Arts. dents who have seen their curren- What I find most worrying is Dear Felix, cy value drop by 30% in the last the fact that this drastic decision The Union have had to cut few months. Furthermore, universi- was made very quickly, and with- funding for next session therefore ty administrators are prepared to out informing either the Artsoc some societies have had their sub- reduce next year's fees to encour- treasurer or myself, who could sudies reduced. This is under- age their Indonesian, Malaysian, have attended the UFC meeting standable but when the it is com- Korean and Thai students to return. and explained the situation from pletely wiped out this is unaccept- 1 trust that Mr Heeps &. col- Artsoc's point of view. At the very able. The subsidy for Artsoc. has FELIX leagues are ploughing their full least, I believe that Artsoc should fallen from £1200 to £0, this is an efforts into urging Imperial College have had the opportunity to dis- outrage. What the union have prac- to introduce a similarly imaginative cuss the problems facing the tically done is obliterate a very suc- programme. Imperial College is finance committee BEFORE a vote cesfull society which boasts around rich with diverse cultures from all was taken to remove our subsidy. 230 members. Their pathetic rea- 25 March 1998 over the globe and it would be a Surely this present system is unfair, son was that Artsoc pay for people shame if this world-leading univer- and leaves critical decisions in the to go to the theatre and have a sity were to show itself unrespon- hands of a committee who are good time, and therefore subsidies sive to a situation facing so many unlikely to know about the organi- on these activites are unjustified.

! ! ':: ' of its finest students. sation and operation of the majori- Isn't that the aim of most clubs, for Yours faithfully, ty of clubs. poeple to go out and enjoy them- '.ini-v-vcj; j<>;;;? ;',v. 4,7?'/ Malcolm John It is also rather concerning that selves? I'm sure poeple in other ,.*! : 1 '! ;:>! ' ' the UFC did not appear to take into clubs enjoy themselves and the account that Artsoc is the largest clubs they participate in offer the

: 'V.',y.:r,, :. i O. "' i -'V;A 7 i;;r:. ARTSOC FIGHT non-overseas society in the union, oppurtunity to do something inter- Email: felix(wic.ac.uk and the interests of its 220 mem- esting and open their minds to new BACK bers were not considered. I find it areas. This is exactly what Artsoc unbelievable now to discover that does; gives students the oppurtu- Dear Felix, we have a budget less than most nity to sample the culture in On Tuesday 1 I 7 March, the societies of similar nature who London. It provides a service by Union Finance Committee met to have an overall membership not encouraging Art in all shapes and decide upon club and society bud- even a quarter of that of Artsoc. forms giving students a rounded ,!''.» >.:/1 I gets for the forthcoming year. All It was suggested in the UFC education. All this crap about CCU and CSC society budgets were meeting that Artsoc merely pays unjustified subsidies is unjustified. /{[:. 1 .'..< decided in this one evening alone. for students to enjoy themselves If they have to cut subsidies o.k but ':::,,! : ; :i : .', As current Arts Appreciation chair- on theatre trips. It is true that the axing the whole budget is ludi-

H'Uj7y !*,-.}/; ":;:;y, person, I am writing to express my Arts are enjoyable, and members crous. I'm sure this is just a misun- concerns as to the fairness and jus- enjoy being a part of Artsoc. Surely derstanding and it is only a matter . 1 . : . : i .;<>';-<: tification of the decisions that were this is the case for other societies of time before you (union) retract

. ' : : ;. .'i ;.:'I, reached. I am sure the rowers of IC, ten pin your stupid shortsighted proposal Prince Consort Road. London, It was decided that the Artsoc bowlers and parachutists, to name and give us our subsidy back. SVW 2BB \f- 01 / I 5>04 HO7 I subsidy budget for next year should random clubs, also enjoy their club Thank you very much. be reduced from the submitted activities! The Artsoc constitution SAVE ARTSOC. total of approximately £ 1300 to clearly states that the aims and Mark J . ii . zero. Grounds for this slash in bud- objectives of the society are to pro- Chem. Eng. I (Artsoc supporter) get were based on general cutting mote the appreciation of the Arts ' ':

.' ' ' ': signing funds if necessary. sudden reduction in funding is both Dear all. However, 1 find the shocking and unfair and has not been warranted. I am writing in response to completely unexpected news of If the Arts in particular are Darshan Arun letter from last week, complete removal of Artsoc sub- Jason Ramanathan and Alok Jha being targeted as "unnecessary" or which was complaining about the sidy unfair and unmerited, for rea- of inferior importance to sporting lack of general dance music nights, sons which I will briefly explain. clubs within IC, then I am honestly especially in specialist areas. I Artsoc uses the Union subsidy quite disgusted. It is a great shame agree with Darshan totally there to make the Arts more affordable (Villi that 220 keen and enthusiastic stu- should be more events like Tha to the average student. In particu- dents, interested in having a well- Bomb and The Electric Cafe and 'j. v '. i. ii''' ' i i 'V..:r:...y lar, ballet, opera and large musicals rounded education by the inclusion respect to Milan and Alick Sethi for ' j". >"vr are well beyond the price-range of of culture into their heavy scientific actually being able to put these Riyjn Hand Won: Da\id Roberts many students, and by wisely sub- workloads, should be taken to be nights on, as I know how hard it is ':''' ' ' ' . ' , . M i LETTERS 25 March 1998

to try and get something other. In short, RCS and C&C need college NOT a university! I realise aSyj like this off the ground to get at each other. The method HOCKEY MOAN that this comes as a huge shock to MWC especially here. (at least to start with) is clear; mas- some people but think about it for The reason for the cots. The stealing of another CCU's Felix peeps a moment. Imperial is actually a lack of any decent dance music mascot always created a spirit I play for ICHC 2nds, and we constituent college of the nights is in my opinion quite simple amongst the students that leads to thrashed Kings 2nds to WIN our University of London. This explains Mark Home the marketing and a decent group identity, and this league. why Imperial doesn't have the abil- event's manager who has overall will be the first step in reviving the The back page is occupied by ity to award degrees: look closely control over what events that are CCUs. The only problem is that avoiding relegation, almost won and you will see that your degree put on. After approaching him C&.G are a bunch of cowards, afraid and faint hopes of titles. certificates are actually awarded by myself to enquire about putting on to make their mascots violate. Why not put glory headlines of the University of London. When some nights and it was basically Come on then, you bunch of girls, winners on the back page, take you have the pleasure of attending like talking to a brick wall, all I got let's sort the men from the boys, advantage of the times when IC that well known event in the Albert as a response was that he had etc. etc. wins competitions. Even on the Hall wearing your robes you are loads of people DJs etc of his own J Browning inside page, you could quite easily attending a commemoration day that put things on. And from other Physics 1. miss the whole article with huge NOT a graduation day. You are not people I have spoken to this is a bold font size for rugby and skiing. being presented with a degree but common response. So why is it Why the intense bias? Do you know an associateship of your con- then, that for the whole 4 years I MY FAULT what its like to play to a limit to win stituent college. have been here I have not seen any a competition on the sports field? I realise that to many people dance music nights worth going to? Dear Lads, It's not a self publicity seeking this may seem incredibly pedantic With this location we could have I would just like to take the thing, we always use our bar names but actually it's quite important. nights that people would travel to opportunity of putting everyone's in such reports. It is a publicity The powers that be at Imperial attend and make this one of the mind's at rest. seeking thing for the club and col- obviously want to become a univer- most happening places in London My name is Filtrum, I suppose lege. I am sure IMRFC would have sity in their own right and this prob- and show the musical depth that you could call me a hockey player. preferred a back page effort too for ably accounts for their policy of this capital has to offer, instead of I would like to lift any blame off my their four cup victory. Why is the expanding and incorporating other more of the same old all the time. 1 compatriot, Lager lager. Yes, I editorial on the sports page? colleges (Wye being a topical know for a fact that we could have admit it. I shat on the carpet,... And Oh well, its near the end of your example) since they probably think the biggest names of dance music, I wiped my arse with a cushion. reign at Felix, so why care now? that the bigger they are the more DJs, Live PA's etc for very reason- Loving it baby, You've all got your CV points and likely they are to succeed in able prices and the only thing stop- To the 3rds, enough experience to move one becoming a university, or Great ping this from happening as far as I Tom. more step up the ladder. Imperial World Legacy to quote can see is Mr Home. If I am wrong Try putting 6 years into some- your editorial. So in future when and there is some other reason I thing you really care about and you're feeling a bit down about the would love to know what it is. LIVE ON LINE have you final glorious moment fact that Imperial has just taken Hopefully this is the beginning squashed by some armchair editing control of something else, maybe of something new in the way of Dear Jeremy by someone who doen't bother to the profits of a travel shop or a putting nights on that represents In view of last week's feature watch any of the sport, by some- small island nation somewhere in what the people of Imperial College on Mr C and his internet radio sta- one who has never warmed up a the Pacific, remind yourself that what to hear not what one person tion, I would like to point out that single muscle in their life. Imperial College is exactly what it's thinks everyone wants to hear. IC Radio also broadcasts live Sense the passion now sweety? called: the biggest prize of all (uni- ANON. online. This is a new development All sniveling apologies wel- versity status) has still not been this term which can be accessed at come. achieved: yet! www.su.ic.ac.ulc/pubboard. By the way, our mens and Richard Gillies UNITED COLOURS Yours sincerely ladies 1 st teams are playing in their Medical Student Tom lllingworth cup and BUSA plate finals this St. Mary's. Dear Felix, Publicity &. Promotions, Saturday, fancy sending a reporter Mr Darshan Arun wrote last 1C Radio. along? week (Felix 1111) 'I am Indian and Paul Bland, PG2, you need a GLIDING like many of my black/brown sense of humour in life don't you! friends, I'm into black music'. May SILWOOD CYNIC Dear Felix, I suggest he definitely wants to get Thanks to everyone who con- out a bit more if he hasn't yet met Dear Sir IC NOT SO HOT tacted me after my last letter about any white / yellow (whatever) peo- IC is to annex Wye College. Imperial College Gliding Club. After ple who also listen to 'soul, swing, "The merger will work in a similar Dear Felix the mistake with my E-mail hip hop etc'. fashion to the current set-up with It appears that there is a com- address, we have decided to Really, is there a need to bring Silwood Park... Andy Heeps and his mon misconception floating extend our offer of a trial flight and what colour someone is, into what two deputies are already making around Imperial. In Felix this week ICGC membership for £25 to any- music they like? plans for a visit...there would be [issue 1111, March 13] Simon one who contacts us this term. Yours, 'more life for the students having a Baker writes in his column that (This also covers you for the Elaine Kellow. BC III. connection with Imperial'" Imperial College is one of the lead- Summer break). If anyone is inter- I hope Andy will make it clear ing universities in Britain. Have you ested, please contact me on that after this visit the Wye stu- spotted the problem yet? Many [email protected] or come LET THEM FIGHT dents will never see another union people at Imperial make the same to our meeting on Thursday (I - officer, that the only way they can mistake as Mr Baker: in a recent 2pm) in Aero room 254. Let's face it; C&.G and RCS have purchase new facilities is to order edition of Felix a letter from the Thanks, had troubles recently. One key them five years in advance, and Summer Ball Committee claimed Andy Holmes, ICGC problem is lack of interest from the that College bureaucracy will sap that Imperial is one of Britain's general student population. In their will to live. most prestigious universities. You times like this, we need to create A Silwood Park Student must have spotted the problem by an enemy for us to rally against, now! Yes, contrary to popular and the solution is obvious; each belief. Imperial College is actually a 25 March 1998 NOTICES AND EDITORIAL

Calling all Editorial

ONLY A DROP Howard Marks is holding on page three. Clubs dnd Socs This week most of us are looking forward to the end of term, going You must supply ait entrv for the home and settling down to four DRUGS, OFFICER? weeks of uninterrupted revision. 1998-99 IOJ Students' handbook For the Felix Office, however, it will This brings us on to the be a trying and difficult month. Independent on Sunday's marc I Jeremy's arrest has left us without this Saturday in Hyde Park (page / VDeadline TODAY* \ a full time editor and mentor. three). The cannabis issue has Hi.,.; / I,,-, ,,,'„; vl . 1 1 Whilst us few remaining in the been discussed in Felix on several Article, should be 200 - 400 words and be office will of course try our best, we occasions, not least by my prede- would appreciate any aid that our cessor (alas, poor Jeremy...). For accompanied by a decent photograph (ie readers could provide in this most my part I hope the demonstration not a boring group photo/ testing time. It is a testament to passes peacefully and is not the skill and dedication of the hijacked by people just there for a , F:::: ]/. / remaining staff that we managed to laugh. This is a serious issue, and I complete this issue. Well done to would urge any students going on Hand your entries in to Neij^or Charlie in all of you. We wish Jeremy and his Saturday not to do anything that the Clubs and Sops Resource Centre, family the best of luck and pray would reflect badly on the cam- that he can beat this terrible and paign. Having said that, I'll see you Union Building. false slur against his good name. there, and I'll be smiling. WARNING - NOT SUBMITTING AN ENTRY COULD SERIOUSLY DAMAGE YOUR BUDGET! IT'S NOT CRICKET! BREASTS As terrible as Jeremy's arrest is, an In Jeremy's absence, we would like even greater horror has entered my to take the opportunity to redress life in the last few days. I am refer- the balance. It is a sad fact that ring, of course, to the West Indian Felix has printed no breasts what- bowlers. It appears that nothing soever, despite including seven- Why Don't You short of a brick wall can stop their teen male behinds and at least merciless attack on England's bats- three penises. Without in any way C##%r| I Ic#pi|i if ir I **#"t,iiri* men. And even the wall might not questioning Jeremy's sexuality, we work. It seems only a few weeks have decided to print this picture AND DO SOMETHING since England strode victorious off of two colossal wabs. the field ['Thought for the Day', Less Useful Felix I 108] - hang on, it is only a few weeks! Exactly what have Mr Atherton and his motley crew been up to in the intervening period? 1 reckon that Phil Tufnell has taken No 1112: A load of balls the team on an excursion into the countryside, perhaps with one of those hand-rolled cigarettes After the ridiculously cruel and mission, should you choose to harsh trick of Jeremy's "No accept it, is to determine which is Bridges Please" utilities problem the errant sphere, and also fath- last issue, we are back with a om whether the ball is heavier or more conventional (i.e. logically lighter than its contemporaries. Small AdsllNIOTE! soluble) puzzle this week. You, To aid you in your quest, you for reasons unexplained, have have the use of a pair of common been given twelve apparently or garden scales. The catch, and identical balls. One of the dozen, there always is a catch, is that Money wanted for Romanian Emergency Council Meeting will however, has gone rogue. It has a you can use the balance only orphanages; sponsor David take place this Thursday (26 ever so slightly different weight three times. It can be done, I Hellard (1998-99 ICU President) March) in dBs at 12.30pm. On than its uniform brethren. Your promise... Mr.Trout to run the London marathon in the agenda is the redevelopment under 4 hours. Contact of dBs. ALL ARE WELCOME Cheeky Mr.Thomson gave you an insoluble puzzle last time; [email protected] provided you are limited to two dimensions you cannot con- Women's minibus service runs nect up the houses. The smartarse who felt fit to inform us of RAG Committee Elections take Wednesday and Friday nights, this fact was a Miss Janet Evans. I bet you won't get this place tomorrow (26 March) at taking lone female students week's though. Bring 'em on, 1 prefer a straight fight...etc... 1.10pm in the RAG Office (above home from the union. First run is Felix, behind the UDH). at 12.00am, last run is at union Mail or e-mail your answers to the Felix office ([email protected]). If cor- Secretary, Treasurer, Mag Editor, closing time. rect your name will be printed in not a large blaze of glory next issue. Publicity Officer and Ordinary Contributions of similar logic / maths puzzles gratefully received. Member positions available. Sponsored by IMPERIAL COLLEGE Supported by SUMMER BALL /CU

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Waterstone's At Imperial College

Every month we have a Book of the Month and several other recommended titles. These are available at 20% discount. We also periodically run other promotions such as our very successful Valentines promotion. Our current offering is a gay and lesbian promotion giving 20% off 30 featured titles.

We are happy to order any books not in stock or deal with any queries.

Our opening hours are: South Kensington campus Mon - Fri 9.30 - 5.45 Hammersmith Campus Mon - Fri 11.30 - 3.00 Charing Cross campus M,T,Th,F 11.30 - 3.00 Wed 11.30 - 4.00

Int 49604/ 49605 Ext 0171 589 3563

You can also e-mail us at [email protected] 25 March 1998 COLUMNS

Once you've been at Imperial for a dangerous precedent, in much through teaching labs around weaponry, is a area a while, you soon realise that the same way that Labour's tin- Imperial to see how Campus where panic is best simplicity rarely features strong- kering with National Lottery is Renaissance is largely an exer- avoided. On reflection, Gordon ly in the thinking of our lords worrying. Such poor judgement, cise in window dressing, failing Brown talked much and said lit- and masters. Last week, for tinged with bitterness, hypocrisy to address major weaknesses in tle. Normally an occasion where example, we came top in the and naivete, does the Rector no favour of the odd fountain here governments are more forth- HEFCE funding tables, easily credit at all, and must be and there. Yes, we have the shiny coming than usual, he still man beating lesser establishments in reversed immediately. The last new BMS, but if we persist in aged to pack in a few New the Fens and west of London. time 1 looked, neglecting our Labour vagaries and platitudes. Across the College, we have the College had facilities, its Taxing child benefit will be been more successful than many cash balances of yjj arrival will 'investigated', though reforming in securing extra funding grants £14 million, fur- merely exacer- one of the most unjustifiable from industry and research ther weakening Ijf bate the prob- universal benefits should be rel- councils, which has helped IC the case for tT3 lem in years to atively straightforward. While pass the £300 million mark. Yet raiding the DQ come, when being tight on spending, he did despite all this, the College are Union's coffers. one considers nothing to rein in the pound, now seeking to deprive the Furthermore, the that its mainte- which has clear consequences Union of £42,000 generated by whole sorry saga C nance budget for exporters. There were some STA Travel; incidentally, this fig- highlights the o will be almost good ideas, many of them mun- ure is not far off the amount misplaced prior- 60% of Estates dane but nonetheless useful, but spent in 1996/97 redecorating ities of the E entire current overall one cannot help but and refurbishing the palatial 170 College. The JCR I/O ^ J maintenance notice that the Budget has failed Queen's Gate, about £49,000. is seen purely as provision. Since to live up to the carefully Though I would be the first to a cost rather than a benefit. If many senior College staff have orchestrated leaks and spin. admit that ICU does not dis- we continue to run down facili- little time for undergraduates, This was not quite as prudent as pense all of its cash in the most ties for students, we will find it let me approach this from a dif- Gordon suggested, and is per- effective manner, it is difficult to progressively more difficult to ferent angle. If we let this place haps explained by the New believe that this latest move is attract applications. We cannot continue to decay, it will not be Labour belief that you can fool anything but sour grapes from survive purely on past glories - long before industrial sponsors all of the people all of the time. the denizens of Suite Five, who we must provide a high quality go elsewhere. Now do you see failed to make the Union pay for education in a high quality envi- my point? the refurbishment of the JCR, a ronment. Were this underfund- College facility. Were the Union ing limited to social facilities, The Budget, as a rule, should to stump up for the renovation the effects might mot be critical, not set the pulse racing, since of College facilities, it would set but one only has to wander fiscal policy, like nuclear

Thought For the Day

Sex

ooking back on it, it seems interpreted differently in England to I'd be very surprised if anybody appear, I am sure that many cou- difficult to believe that I orig- the way it is in any other nation. reading this has done it Sharon ples achieve a lot of pleasure L inally learnt the following epi- Think about the best (and the Stone style. Teenagers who model through the experience of sexual gram from a skateboard magazine: worst) jokes that you have heard their sexual style on the contortions discovery, rather than having it all that was back in my fourteen-year recently; how many would you of over-made up actors on Sky presented to them in the clinical, old days of dirty Cons 100 basket- consider a tad on the salacious Movies One are likely to spend soulless jargon of the psychologist. ball boots, track-suit bottoms side? It seems strange that some- most of their time in the bedroom As I sit here clamouring for and... well, track-suit tops. The epi- thing which is traditionally not dis- attempting to find a piece of cloth another hundred words' worth of gram sums up life rather well, and it cussed in polite conversation long enough to tie their partner to ideas from my journalistic col- goes something like this: "Life is a results in a great many chuckles the bed. Alternatively, they search leagues, one cry goes up: "Sex is 100% fatal, sexually transmitted and guffaws in bars and on TV the length of the King's Road for a overrated!" Pessimistic 1 may be, disease." Most people are likely to shows across the country. ("Huh pair of fishnet stockings, rather but one only has to look at the find that this handful of words does huh. You said "column".") than shopping for condoms, which hordes of couples who have been not quite typify their experience on Someone once told me, in their still hardly ever make an appear- married for thirty years or more to the subject, but I reckon any cynic infinite wisdom, that the offhand ance on the big screen. see the silver lining. Let me finish, worth his or her salt will be in full portrayal of sex on the television Although I have lived my entire then, with a tacky epigram of my agreement. My opinion, in case was a thing not to be encouraged, life in the shadow of the work of own: sex is like opening a bank anyone is interested, is utterly irrel- for a number of reasons including Freud, it is possible to imagine a vault. You don't need dynamite, evant: it's been so long since 1 last distortion of the minds of impres- world before we were exposed to you just need the right had sex that I honestly can't sionable young adolescents. She his particular brand of enlighten- combination. remember enough to comment. reckoned sex should be what you ment. I reckon lots of people didn't For some bizarre reason, sex make of it. You might be doubtful even know where to stick it back All Campbell has a firm stigma of humour about this assertion, but you should then. Again, strange as this retro attached to it, and this seems to be also be able to see the truth in it; and sex-ignorant society might 10 COLUMNS 25 March 1998

Cook is under heat again. responsibility to deal with some of what else can a well-populated Cook talks of Britain and Europe It appears that his latest the great historical conflicts of the continent, residing just to the west taking a larger role, it can only foray into another world world. of the said area, some of whose mean bad news for Israel, as far as region has resulted in the One of those conflicts is the countries governed Middle East Netanyahu can work out. Even usual gaffes, snubs and insults. Israeli-Palestinian 'peace process', nations in days of Empire, whose though Britain supported the U.S. Cook has been written about as it is still called in politer diplo- workforce and student population is its stance against Iraq and before, at length, and my opinion matic circles. Cook's foray into work and study in each others Saddam Hussein, one of Israel's of him had never been ecstatic. His Israel and Palestine caused numer- regions, that has historical links greatest foes in modern times, performance in the United States, ous upsets, with changes of plan (and battles) going back to prehis- Israel fundamentally distrusts India, Europe and so on, plus his and rewritten schedules at the last tory, actually know? Unless, as is Britain. If even the United States, public and disgraceful treatment of minute to accommodate aggrieved expected, Europe simply doesn't who is undoubtedly the No. 1 his wife of twenty-eight years (who representatives of various sides of understand Europe from the per- Peacebroker in the region cannot has now just divorced him, leaving the divide. Even the U.S. State spective of the good Mr presently navigate its way to a deal, him free to marry his secretary) Department is agitated , with Netanyahu. Britain's infinitely weaker foreign never endeared him to the public. policy strength doesn't stand a His ability to weigh on delicate chance. arguments between various fac- Hamish Common The biggest barrier it seems is tions has resulted in many compar- Binyamin Netanyahu himself. King isons with Northern Ireland. Westminster Hussein of Jordan wrote to him a Recently he went on a tour of the year ago asking him why 'he was Middle East, and came back with out to destroy everything he'd abuse from all sides. worked for in his life'. Netanyahu Cook's troubles have led many Eye continues to have settlements built to re-evaluate their opinion of the in what is clearly on the Palestinian worthiness of the job of Foreign side of the line. Most observers feel Secretary. Considered by many to spokesmen remarking that recent European countries, and Britain that Netanyahu has torn up the the best job in the Cabinet, it is the events have "not helped". Cook in particular, have always been fair- entire process and imposed his highest position in it save that of himself downgraded his own inten- ly pro-Arab. Many of their heads of own view on Israeli sovereignty to Prime Minister, conferring perks tions, saying in an after-dinner state were educated in British pub- the area. He will probably have to and privileges, plus the opportunity speech to the Anglo-Arab lic schools, and British diplomats go for a solution to be achieved. to leave the constricting grasp of Association that he hoped to give can usually expect warm hand- The greater worry on our Prime domestic politics and worries, and the peace process "a helpful shakes from Arab hands. Israel, on Minister's mind will be his own look at the wider world issues and nudge". the other hand, was created in the impending tour to the region. Blair problems. However it is also the The problems behind this lie wake of the Second World War, is at his best dispensing kind words most punishing of Cabinet appoint- deeper than just what happened in depending then, as it does now, on and platitudes, smoothing ruffled ments. Travelling is constant, the Middle East last week. When U.S. support for its survival (until feathers and nurturing egos. Cook's paperwork ever-coming and diary Cook outlined his intentions for the recently, every state bordering on it recent legacy could leave Biair in a packed. And for the most part, the European Union to take a larger had an agreement to exterminate it hard diplomatic position. One work is the slow grind of diplomacy role in the Middle East, the Israeli if at all possible). The U.S. hopes for Cook's sake that Blair is which is always required but will Prime Minister, Binyamin Government in turn benefits greatly not made a fool of, for then Cook's confer no great historical distinc- Netanyahu retorted that Europe from the support of the powerful position in the Foreign Office will tion upon the person concerned. 'doesn't understand the Middle Jewish lobby. By such things are be increasingly untenable. Yet upon their shoulders rests the East'. To offer a personal opinion. foreign policy decided. So when

PrpQcOaw Hflgfitf P©w©rp

You've seen the film, some of you have lived through the rumours abound that there might even be a visit from a spe- decade, and now you can enjoy the full 70s experience that cial karaoke machine on the night, so bring your singing is the BOOGIE NIGHTS CARNIVAL. Following on from the voices!! huge success of our Bond theme at w . «5 We'll be making a clean sweep of the Xmas, we're now asking you to raid gym, with a special foam filled giant the local charity shops and get out the P bouncy washing machine, so charity flares, big collars and dodgy side- shop chic is a must, and in the con- burns for a full on celebration of the I cert hall, the Hedonizm DDs will be

decade that taste forgot. ,H taking you higher, with live drum and bass adding that little bit extra.

Entertainment in dBs comes from the disco extravaganza of Carwash, The venue is going to be a kitsch who'll be bringing alive all your mirror dream, with leopard skin print and balled favourites. The nights music mirror balls to the fore, so on Friday comes from the glittery Shaft DJs, so 27 March, leave your credibility at you know it's going to be trashy, just how you love it! The home and join in the best 70's party in the world... ever. Chill out room is going to take on a funky feel, with funk, Tickets are on sale now in the union office, and you know it's soul, soundtracks and easy listening to the fore, and going to sell out, so don't leave it late. 25 March 1998 COLUMNS 1 1

Water

Due to a complete and foreseeable knife down onto the pastry rather lack of forward planning, the roast- than dragging it across so that the ing saga has clashed with this edges are well sealed. This will splendid bumper special issue so help the roussettes to expand in I'll do a quick resume on potatoes the cooking. One of those dinky before moving on to the Easter pastry wheel jobbies would be per- special. fect for the job. Spuds: the queen of roast veg- To cook the roussettes, heat etables, practically any variety will the oil up gently and plop the do. Wash your spuds but don't lozenges in a few at a time. I don't bother peeling them. Chop the know what temperature this potatoes into ~ 1" cubes and put needs, I've always used trial and them in a large pan with enough error. What should happens is that water to cover. Bring to the boil after a couple of seconds, the over a strong heat and leave to lozenge expands from the steam simmer for 10 minutes. Now drain produced inside it and pops up to the potatoes, place a top onto the the surface of the oil. Leave it for pan and shake the pan vigorously. 10 seconds and then flip it over This "roughens" the pieces so they with a suitable utensil. After anoth- absorb more fat and become er 10 seconds take the roussettes crispy when cooked. Next pour a out and place on some absorbent generous amount of oil (and/or material. At this point and despite butter) into the pan, sprinkle with its name, the roussette should be lots of salt, pepper and any other just golden yellow (ahh) not brown. herbs and give the contents a good If it is brown, the oil's too hot. stir. The spuds are now ready to This potato brought to you courtesy of Rude Vegetable Enterprises Finally, sprinkle your rous- join whatever you've got in the sette with icing sugar and scoff oven. They'll need at least an hour First of all, cut the butter into small 2-3mm thick. with a bit of jam. at gas mark 5-6, 180-200°C and bits and put in a bowl on some- Use a blunt knife to cut the Antoine it's a good idea to turn them at thing warm like a radiator. When pastry into lozenges. Press the least once whilst they're cooking. the butter softens (not melts) stir it around with a fork until you've got ROUSSETTES DILE-DE-FRANCE a smooth paste. HAIR NEWS HAIR NEWS HAIR NEWS Place the flour and salt in a So here's a "traditional French del- large bowl and make a well in the icacy" which is usually cooked to middle. Break all three eggs into celebrate the middle of Lent, just the well and, using the fork, whisk to give you some encouragement them around in the flour. When I HAIRCUT after eating stale bread and olive about half the flour is incorporated stones for however many weeks it you should have a paste with a is. similar consistency to the butter. £8.00 The dough needs to rest and So add the butter and churn it into chill overnight so you have to make the paste, picking up flour as you UNISEX UNISEX UNISEX UNISEX UNISEX it the day before which this year go along. This might be a good INCLUDES: was the 18th March so whoops time to get your hands in there - you should end up with a stiff sorry, you've missed it. Still, mine 3r~ CONSULTATION with stylist to discuss your style, try were very nice and I'm sure you dough that doesn't stick together. a new look and learn how to manage and control your hair. can do some for Easter or some- And now for the really gooey thing. moment. Add 2 tsp of cream to =3*- SHAMPOO followed by Herbal Conditioner and scalp Do be careful when using the the dough and squidge repeatedly massage. deep fat fryer and keep a substan- until the cream is absorbed. Keep tial wet cloth about to throw over it adding more cream until you get V PRECISION HAIR CUT by fully qualified hair stylist, if things get furious. the right consistency. For those of experienced in modern hairdressing. you who have ever repair a win- dow, you're looking for something =?r~ USE OF HAIRDRIER with complementary gel or mousse to finish your style. 1 litre (550g) plain flour with the same consistency as 3 large eggs putty, fairly stiff but plastic. OPEN 9.00AM - 6.00PM ®- 125 g butter That's it for now, wrap up in Last Appointment for Hair Cut 6.00pm 1 pinch salt cellophane and leave in the fridge Phone for information on other special offers, e.g. Perms. Highlights, Tints. a" 1 tsp sprit (preferably fruit) for the night. T. 1 tsp orange blossom or rose water The next day, lightly flour a clean TREVOR ROY SALON « 3-4 heaped tsp thick surface and using your favourite 52 Kensington Church Street, W8 cream rolling pin (mine's a litre bottle of TEL: 0171 937 6413 1 deep fat fryer Scotch) roll out the dough until it's 3 minutes from High St. Kensington & Notting Hill Gate FLJB DRINKING FEATURE 25 March 1998 swiff Sunday afternoons are never the A Formula 1 drinking same without a Grand Prix to game from Mark Baker watch; many of my formative years were spent sat upon the sofa with cups of tea and the inane banter of Murray Walker, cheering on my favourite dri vers.

However, long years of being a student have jaded even the simple pleasures of life, and to keep the constant thrill neces sary I decided to swap my tea for something a little more brac one each. of the pit stop*. If Murray says "and he must win ing. * or randomly assign drivers so ft' ...crashes, has engine failure or now" or equivalent doom-tempting that there's an equal chance of retires - You might want to comment - G~ . So get together some friends being stuck with Panis or pick another driver*. and some booze and get play Penalties for everyone: Schumacher. ft- If the driver then has a tantrum, ing. You might want to be ft- Murray Walker gets something drink another 6 units. careful and moderate some of ft- At the start of the race, drink for wrong - drink 2 units, If your drivers: the rules. Those marked * are the duration of: ft' Brundle / co-commentator cor- ft- wave or make 'hand signals' to only for the brave! * the time between all lights lit and rects him - drink 2 units more, other drivers or officials - 3 units, going out. ft' ...in a sarcastic manner - drink 2 ft' are overtaken or overtakes - 2 ** the time between lights starting units once more. units. The Rules to light and going out. If the race is re-started - $7,;. ft- are lapped - 3 units. ft- Firstly, decide how much 1 unit *** the whole of the parade lap. If a commentator says anything ft' are given a stop/go penalty - will be - for example a sip of beer. dodgy e.g. "he's coming up fast If any of your chosen drivers: or drink for its duration*. Major drinking penalties are indi- behind him!" - drink 1 unit. ft' ...is mentioned by a commenta- P" finishes in the points (top 6) - cated by \ About 10 units or If anyone playing the game then tor - drink 1 unit, drink twice as many units as points repeats the comment - drink an finishing your current drink will suf- ft' ...takes a pit stop - 3 units, scored. extra unit. fice for this. ft' ...takes a pit stop for longer If there are obvious team orders at ft- Each player picks a driver than 10 seconds - 6 units. A final word of warning: remember any point (e.g. pulling over and let- * alternatively, choose more than Alternatively, drink for the duration that the race lasts for two hours! ting team-mate by) - drink 6 units. The traditional I J game Brake!

This is a traditional "Formula 1" drinking game. If you get bored z * with my game, give this a try. Vroom! Change gear... Alcoholics may wish to play both games at once. 2. To reverse direction of play, go 5. If you yell 'Aryton Senna' every- next person carries on the game. 'eeeeerk!' (brakes!!) and make arm one has to go 'boooml' and wave 1. Arrange the players around a movement as in diagram theirarms about. Any infringement of the rules leads table or in a line. 3. To pass play to left, go 'vrooom' 6. If you yell 'Gear change' every- to drinking! and move arm to left. one stands, changes gear (imagine 4. To pass play to right, go a gear box in front of you - use 'vrooom' and move arm to right. your arm) and takes a drink. The 25 March 1998 FEATURE

VVhether you've been run oven evicted, spending all your money on the horses, harrassed by your landlord, mugged, failing your degree or you just miss you mum, these men are here to help. Introducing...

David Allman Martin

Student "TT on CouncillcH* Union Advisor

tudying and living at university he Advice Service exists to provide can sometimes be stressful and information on a wide range of practi- s lonely as well as challenging and T cal and legal issues including housing exciting. The courses at Imperial rights, council tax, immigration, consumer College are demanding;' they require matters, debt, and fundraising, anything commitment of time and effort. It s that isn't purely a personal matter. not unusual to experience a knock to your self-esteejijpo find your- self amongst similarly intelligent students after having ||jen at or near I will try and make sure that you are aware of your options in a given situa- the top of your class at school. tion so you can choose how you want to deal with it. In some circum- stances, your choice of action may carry consequences that are not imme- You might have arrived at Imperial from another country with differ- diately apparent and a different perspective can often be useful. ent social and cultural norms so that part of beginning at College involves the experience of living in a different culture. Family and I work from a large information system and the Union subscribes to several friends may be a long distance away. And if you're coming to College organisations that provide assistance for certain student groups (for exam- straight from home you may have to learn the practicalities of every- ple UKCOSA, who provide a service to international students). day living as well! Coming to university might be one of the biggest transitions you' re going to make in your life. I am familiar with the problems and incidents that student's commonly face. For example, I deal with many enquiries regarding private sector housing If you're not used to organising yourself and getting on with studying matters ranging from checking contracts to problems with disrepair, harass- without a parent or teacher prompting you, it can be a considerable ment and other inter-tenant disputes. challenge to manage your work. On the other hand, sometimes stu- dents work too hard and get diminishing returns; fear of failure or 'let- 1 can also help students with financial problems. Debt is inevitable for most ting people down' can get in the way of constructive studying. students. If you think your finances are running out then come and see me. Sometimes (though not often) there are benefits that can be claimed, pay- All of this needs energy which you might have plenty of. However, ments that can be reduced (particularly credit debts), and other organisa- sometimes personal issues demand energy which you would other- tions who might be able to offer financial help. wise be using to get on with your life. Sometimes you'll know what the problem is, eg a relationship difficulty, a bereavement, an issue Occasionally it is necessary to refer students to outside agencies, maybe to about self-confidence. But sometimes you might be aware of feeling get specialised legal advice, or for support and help for a particular client depressed or anxious, of finding it difficult to concentrate at lectures group. There may also be occasions where it will be appropriate to refer you or when studying, for no immediately identifiable reason. to other members of College staff (ie perhaps the Counsellor, College Tutors, or Disabilities Officer). In any event, your situation will not be dis- Many students have found it useful to come to counselling when cussed with anyone else without your express permission. they're feeling troubled, to talk about their experience, to think through a problem and to consider options and create a strategy to The Advice Service is strictly confidential, impartial and non-judgemental. It move forward. Issues students have brought since I took up post last doesn't matter what your situation is, or how you arrived at it. My job is to September include: blocks to studying and exam stress; relationship try and assist, not to apportion blame. difficulties; family difficulties; homesickness; depression; anxiety; bereavement: sexuality and sexual orientation. I can be seen by appointment 1 1.00-4.30pm on Monday, Wednesday and Friday and between 10.30-4.00pm on Tuesday and Thursday. To make an The service is confidential. To arrange an appointment, telephone me appointment, contact the Union reception on x.48060. I can also be con- on 0171 594 9430 (internal 49430) or contact me via email: tacted on the telephone on x. 48067 and by email; [email protected]. [email protected]. I will always see urgent enquiries without an appointment and no question or matter is too big or too small. 1 am also very happy to speak to interna- tional students with any questions that might arise from cultural differences between the UK and your home country. PHOTO FEATURE 25 March 1998

orma] life is gradually This was soon corrected by returning to Imperial the C&.G Slave Auction. Seen by N College this week - Rag many as the beginning of the Week is over and it is once more demise of civilisation, the event safe to wander the campus with- also raised over £500. Bidding was out being squirted, splattered with initially sluggish, with Mr foam or mooned at. After last Manandhar and Mr Cuomo fetch- term's belly-flop, the raggies have ing just £5 each (although this was returned if not with a bang, at least £4.90 over the reserve). Executive with a good loud fart. Thanks to slaved generated more interest, various dubious semi-clothed with Katie Armstrong going for events, they have managed to £55 and Andy Heeps bottling out raise over £2000 for the charities and purchasing himself for £100. Leukemia Research, Riding for the Not content with this, the audi- Disabled and CAG. ence clubbed together to raise a Events kicked off on 9 March further £60 to force him to derobe with a show by the renowned hyp- and wobble his blubber. It is not notist (and ex-Felix editor) Martin known which misguided individual Four of the brave (insane?) students running the SNKP] this year Taylor in dBs. Elvis impersonations masterminded this exercise. Two pose for the cameras at the end of a successful streak. and excessive tie wearing ensued, of the more unfortunate slaves, Photo: Dave Hayward, bu, t as yet, no nakedness. Anjit Chaudhuri and Helen- , Rag Week

Louise Windsor, were compelled to streak along the walkway wearing lingerie (left). HLW, we're waiting. Last week also saw the initiation of Killer - an incomprehensible game of inventive homi- cide involving water pistols and rubber knives. Someone has apparently won the game, due to everyone else being dead, although we're not certain who it is. Skipping over the inexplicable Great Hedge Hog Hunt, the next deranged fund- raiser was the infamous SNKP) (Sponsored Nude Kamikaze Parachute jump, don't you know) which involved eight students of ques- tionable sanity making their way as slowly as possible from Harrods to the Union wearing their best birthday suit. Compounding passers-by and avoiding the long arm of the law, the runners managed to raise £700 and get onto page three of the Sun. Good work, fellas. No sooner had the hangovers worn off, but it was time for the RSM 3-legged 70s pub crawl. Dress to look like a washed-up hippie, get drunk and tie yourself to a mate to make walking even harder than usual, let alone pee- ing. We were unable to find anyone sober enough to explain why they did this, although one sesquiped drunkard managed to mumble the immortal words "It's charity, mate." All in all, Rag Week hauled in £2144 (not forgetting the RCS beer festival last term), a considerable improvement over last year and A Anjit pulled the short straw the C&G Slave miraculous return from the grave. ICU Rag can Eeee-ooo. Lock up your daughters, here Auction - a walkway run in drag for just £6. once again stick its proud arse in the air and comes Andy Heeps' belly... Photo: Matt Kemptonsomeho w get people to pay for the privilege. Photo: Mark Smith 25 March 1998 PHOTO FEATURE

"Yes Mr Data, that's just a little bit more detail than we need." ICSM Vice-President Nick Carter getting into the 'swing' of things at the C&G Slave Auction Photo: Mark Smith ,Blood y Hell, it's the SNKPJ! Eight 'cheeky' chap- pies 'bouncing' along from Harrods to the Union totally starcus. They must be nuts! Photos: Seeta Rajani

IADS STRIP 16 FEATURE INTERVIEW 25 March 1998

JAZZ G0€5 UNDERGROUND?

Courtney Pine is widely regarded as Europe's finest jazz saxophonist of the last twenty years. His last two records. Modern Day Jazz Stories and Underground have taken the cream of modern jazz and melded it with the finest in hip hop and drum and bass. Here, he exclusively tells jazz-freak Jonathan Trout about who influenced him, why he wants to play with Gchobelly and the time he jammed with Wynton and Ellis Marsalis wearing a string vest.

irst of all, I asked Courtney iibout his sound; Watts on Guru, and a couple of the other close to the underground drum and bass i how was it created, where it came from. His guys. scene. lai; d back intelligent prose flows gently from n man in undoubtedly familiar territory. Tracks from Courtney's last album have been given It's a mixture of elements of civalivo the treatment by remix specialists Roni Size and How far apart are the jazz and drum and bass scenes music; improvisation; /a.-,- rind also my Peshay. What does that bring to the sound? How at the moment? background - my heritage, being from the could the process be improved? / don't think that they are very far apart Carribean, Jamaica in particular, and / think that it gives a different hand, real- at all. If I can go on stage with a DJ, a hip African, and also European -1 was born in ly talented, experienced people giving hop DJ, and make really positive music, Emopr another view, and I wish I was actually then there isn't really any difference with able to play on top of them. In the drum that and going on with a drum and bass His recent ;v>;Mi: I ->>,! KHM in:;.;:-::, : and bass scene this is how it's being done DJ, and that will happen soon. I don't dance mus ic; hip : now. On the Adam F album, he sent it to think that they are far apart; if you take Grooverider, they did their thing and sent bian ; hi jiji'v Hi ubn. someone like Roni Size and myself, we Ettn, hip hop? / it back to him for him to work on. I think are both going to the same place, we are ate my rt wents , . ng be- that that is what I'll be getting into. just on different sides of the same fence. bop, trat fit ion al jazz, avant-garde, blues. right rhn wgh to jazz fusion. And now I'm What is your perspective on jazz and the music inn) tup hop. Originally 1 was influenced If the old school industry at this time? by Gfispi oe and Ska music; 1 didn't know It's going through an interesting phase. Wtlrlt It Lvas, it was just good music. But Everyone is talking about underground; j / L want to keep to it's become a bit of a buzzword. There are 1 1 ' ' ' : ' ". :-: ' a lot of people involved in it, people like Weather Report, .th en .n 11 Sonn y Rollins, Goldie, obviously Roni [Size] now. Ronni to their own jazz Jordan, at times. You know, people were Charlie Parker, all the i to talking about these guys and they were Sydney Bechet. infiltrating the popular music scene. But thing, well thats it's not got the place it should have done, I noticed that you had Jeff 'Tain' Watts on your last and what's happening is that jazz is being album, who has done a lot of traditional stuff with assimilated into popular music. I was lis- Branford Marsalis; alongside him you have people fine, but we are tening to the Propellerheads, with Shirley like DJs Pogo and Sparky. Tell me about the people Bassey, and you can see the way that you play with, how did you all get together. jazz has been absorbed, without saying Me and Pogo got together on Sparky's going somewhere "JAZZ!". You only need to look at recommendation about three years ago. I Portishead; it's jazz, but people have met Sparky in the early, erm, mid, erm, realised that you can't call it jazz, 'cos if late eighties [laughs]. He was producing else" you say "jazz" you're not going to get no in London and he used one of my records play with that name. as part of the hip hop thing in 1988. At What took you to New York to record the album? the time, technology was not at the stan- Well, not only am I signed to an American So you think that jazz has got an image problem? dard it is now, but on this TV show on label, but the studios over there are just In this country it always did have. It Channel Four, and it was great, and I incredible, and most of the musicians on changed direction and the people who approached him from that. I was also the record are based in New York. It were into that thing just aren't around doing Jazzmatazz at the time /the ground- seemed the right thing to do. any more. breaking, multi gold selling jazz/ hip hop fusion project by Guru, featuring the best What do you think of the UK underground scene; Who is up and coming in this country? Jazz or oth- in the jazz world with the best DJs, rap- how does it compare to and differ from the US? erwise? pers and producers] and meeting up with Oh, it differs! In America, there is no In this country, well, there are some phe- a lot of the guys who I kept seeing on 'underground scene' as such, in terms of nomenal musicians; Jason Robello is on both sides of the Atlantic. I was having a jazz; but over here, it's buzzing. We have his way back, so it will be interesting to bit of trouble with having to hire a band in bands, musicians, we don't have a lot on see what he does. I like the Cleveland America, and these were the guys that I the recording side; that's almost how I Watkiss P23 project, I've already men- ended up working with. I played with Jeff would define 'underground'. It's very tioned Roni Size, erm, Photek's album. 25 March 1998 FEATURE INTERVIEW 17

that really touched on some new ground. People say that you can't dance to it; Ja. mu ne s aiso uune a arum the more diverse the product. drum and bass is thought of as just dance 0n k on his latest record, so he Most definitely. The future iet- music, now he's tipping it into other e very interested in looking ter. What is great is that areas. The most important one is nerica. The last time I saw rid of this stigma that yoi, 4Heroes, they've done some great work, on a photo shoot for Modern this 'jazz' badge, and you and what they did with Nu Yorkan Soul, ries. I was in a string vest there. When I heard that t ey. Black God of the Sun, the remix an ' bottoms, and they were number... on that was really good. I loved the Pit m session downstairs at this Love/ess EP, that's groat. Obviously r.k, aying in the same hotel, and 'tat he wis, i \ i there, and saw Ellis and for me the drum and bass guys are the >/)/ Started jamming with them ones who h.ivr the edpp ot the mmut- in sst three piece suits and me Si; est at three in the morning. ?rful how it worked. And if listening to at the mining? want to keep to their own, 'oni Si well that's fine, but we . ' -rati'/': Hit!;: ;:>(; Hi 1:1 ome where else. n-,. Stuff that sounds like it -om a very loud stereo sys- I'm actually a jazzer myself; I play alto saxo- ns of jazz, I've been I is ten- phone. What advice would you give to someone ing to John Mac Gldtichlin ipeordi,, like me? Dennis Chamben Be as open-minded as possible. If you that's re '/it's are an alto player, you have to cover Garrison on it, yee I' John is alw,i \ the ground. If you wanna start now, iioori. lie's horn lislonmy w ilium ,md you could do David Sanborn, you n.iss d/id hip hop. rind it is intcn'sting know, don't spend too much time on that. If you wanna be an artist, go into the 'sixties and do, say, Woody ! v;;*; '.UK'S. :feII =S ii;^»as Cogan. Pick seven songs that these ! guys have done, and just learn them. Then, go back to the 'fifties; you

. ' : .; ' . Vn.i could do Charlie Parker, Phil Woods...

. : >::/,<*! That's where I'm sitting, definitely... ./.;..: .' ... then go back to Johnny Hodges ore/. And that is not just to sit down and What are you going to do next? What is next for and even further, y'know; the further you listen to; that's also to transcribe as wt-f jazz? go back, the easier it will be to do con- I h, vti/i't listened to that stuff to: : / don't know about jazz, but me I'm going temporary stuff. A lot of guys just con- time ildughs!. Thnr was d nfn Cnlitnnn to take it a lot deeper. Deeper and deep- centrate on, well, you know David box - out with lortv now trst ., er. There are certain types of music that I Sanborn is commercial, people know it so I've already been through that and ta like, like drum and bass for instance, and let's get that sound, and they don't get it on board, wiittcn thorn nut, listened to I have to incorporate that to a greater the real deal The further you go back the them inside out. degree, also the way that we record ear- easier it will be to understand someone lier, I'd like to have the feedback thing like who is contempoary at the moment. Also, When you deconstruct the music like that, ii you d:i Adam F and Grooverider, which is what try and learn about other instruments; the that for the benefit of your own miisiciansh or for I'm trying to do with this remix album. I easiest way to do that is to use comput- fun, or some kind of trainspotting homage... think that I'll be doing that a lot more. I er technology. Before, it was, "Oh yeah, since want to increase the width of the people you learn the piano." Y'know, the piano I started Djing at my shows, il has who listen, not just jazz guys who know was the computer; you have to learn btoiifiht J dilfoient perspective, n d -fer- Charlie Parker; in fact the guys who something about harmony, if you're an ent go : g. would never listen to jazz. instrumentalist. So the piano is essential. But the computer, now, in this day and Your second album was produced by Delfeayo Who is left for you to record with? age, is just as important. Marsalis; they are quite a family, aren't they? Oh there are so many people, I've never Oh yeah, they are phenomeonal, I mean recorded with Wynton. I would love to do How would you like to be remembered? with Bran ford doing the Buckshot some recordings with Tricky. I've listened Ooh, well... that's a difficult one. LoFonque thing, you've got Stig from the to Echobelly; I love her voice. I did the Obviously I'd like to change the face of Jay Leno show, he finally had a hit BBC charity thing over Christmas, Perfect British jazz. It's really hard to say these record, Wynton doing all his classical Day, and I was supposed to meet Eternal, things, they always come out the wrong stuff, there's a brother Jason Marsalis but the lead singer couldn't make it, so I way when you read them back! But I who plays the drums; a good drummer. didn't meet them. Morcheeba! They've would definitely like to be someone who got good flavour. The new Eels record, is seen as trying to make and improve jazz And Ellis [the boys' father, responsible for, amongst that gave me food for thought, and I met music, and speak at this time for our gen- other things, the jazz associated with the Snoopy TV them, and you know what; we were all eration; just in the same way that Charlie cartoons]... listening to the same records; Fun Lovin' Parker, Miles Davis, Ella Fitzgerald, Oh yeah, Ellis as well. I worked with Ellis Criminals, Cypress Hill. All these combi- Coltrane and Wayne Shorter did. on a record, they are all so talented. I'm nations from across the globe, they are all Y'know, I wanna do the same job. good friends with Bran ford; he and I have ending up in England. socialised several times Haughsl. He is Courtney Pine was talking with Jonathan Trout. very suportive of what we do over here FEATURE 25 March 1998

Felix Presents The Great Annual EasteEnvironmentally Unfriendlry

The Simpsons Price: £2.49 Description: Your run-of-the-mill TV-endorsed additive-ridden over- packaged pseudo-egg. But hey, it's got the Simpsons on it. Comments: Utterly tasteless - can it really be made of chocolate, or have we got it mixed up with the packag- ing? Would rate worse that Winnie the Pooh if it weren't for the gener- ous handful of jellybeans. Comes with a free 'Don't forget the Simpsons' TV Times page marker that must be worth all of two pee. The Verdict: Better than a kick in the head. * * V2

Felix brings you the best in Winnie the Pooh Cadbury's Terry's Chocolate investigative journalism - Jelly Tots Buttons Orange exposing the lies, smashing Price: 99p Price: £1.29 Price: £2.99 the hypocrisy and revealing Description: Not an egg at all, but Description: Buying this for anyone Description: So small it barely quali- that facts that they don't more like a reddish-coloured sphere over three years old would be an fies as an egg at all. want you to know - which of cocoa. To put it another way, it's insult. Comments: Initial reactions were Easter egg you should buy a chocolate orange. Comments: A really feeble effort. poor, with the diminutive packaging for you girlfriend this year. Comments: On opening the box, The poor-quality chocolate tastes of only compounding the rubbery tex- From the insubstantial to our investigator was deeply disap- washing-up liquid and the derisory ture of the low-cocoa chocolate. the unfeasible, from the pointed to find nothing but air. On quantity of Jelly Tots provided would- There was some debate over the delectable to the nauseat closer inspection, an 'egg' was dis- n't satisfy a pigeon. Pretty cheap, aftertaste - milky or soapy? The ing, you can't go wrong covered at the bottom, hiding though. Perhaps suitable for some- cheeky pocket-sized packet of with this handy guide. behind a molecule. Smooth, rich one you don't really like anymore, Buttons will cheer up the most dismal Photos: Seeta. Text: All. No chocolate was munched aside to but that society dictates must be pre- of days. responsibility will be reveal a treasure of bite-sized citrus sented with a symbolic piece of ovoid The Verdict: It's not something that accepted for any misguided blobs. Most satisfactory. confectionary. you would eat for pleasure. * Ht purchases. The Verdict: An egg for life, not just The Verdict: Tastes like Winnie's for Easter. * # # * pooh. V2 25 March 1998 FEATURE 19

Sainsbury's Comments: Bloody hell, Belgian Egg this is soooo gorgeous! The chocolate is absoluel- Price: £4.99 (although they forgot to ty superb, and the seashells are the charge us for this one). two pee sweets from heaven - so Description: Fancy-dandy conti- rich it's unwise to eat more than one nental luxury job . or two. The best egg so far by far. Comments: Well presented with The Verdict: Sex on a stick. 5. The the minimum of plastic, the choco- essential egg. late has a rippled surface rather like a tortoise's back. Good firm texture and dark taste, although they've still Galaxy Giant Egg used hydrogenated vegetable fats. Price: £9.99 Comes with six heavenly Belgian Description: It's immense. It's big- petits-fois. ger than my head. What more could The Verdict: Somewhere between you want? a panther and a ginger torn. Comments: The choccy is decided- ly creamier and less sickly than the uct. Don't believe the hype, it's just usual Cadbury's / Nestle fodder. Cadbury's Flake two standard chocolate bars and a Guylian Comes with a huge Galaxy bar on low-quality egg. the side, we're talking about nearly a Price: £2.99 Price: £4.99 The Verdict: I'd rather eat my kilo of chocolate, presented in a box Description: Boring. Description: Belgian chocolate egg Vauxhall Corsa. * the size of a suitcase. Possibly fatal if with half a box of those seashell Comments: The packaging is eaten in one sitting. things. Not a bad price when you see absolutely hideous, comprising of The Verdict: For big kids and lardy- Sainsbury's how much they usually cost. lurid purple flowers on a bilious yel- arses. '/2 low background. Inside, the choco- Easter Bunny late is a sugary ambrosia, appealing Price: £3.99 to only the sweetest tooth. Those Description: A twee-looking with more sober tastes may enjoy twelve-inch rabbit complete with the accompanying Flakes. white chocolate tail and eyes. The Verdict: Why doesn't it have Comments: After chewing its ear the woman in the bath on the box? off, Tim's facial expressions passed

*'/2 through disappointment and disgust, finally settling on a rather distorted Sainsbury's Rich despair. This bunny, ladies and gen- Dark tlemen, is a hideous, rubbery monster. Price: £2.99 The Verdict: Avoid it like Myxima- Description: Faux-swanky dark tosis. A big fat zero. chocolate affair ideal for middle-class dinner parties with a low budget. Comments: Fake Bournville choco- late, dark but not bitter enough for the miserable old editor. Comes with after-dinner choccies that, despite all claims to the contrary, Egg Key: taste minty. An adult's egg. The Verdict: Like meeting an old 1. Winnie the Pooh / Jelly Tots friend and finding that they have 2. Cadbury's Buttons become as dull and conventional as 3. The Simpsons yourself. # 4. Terry's Chocolate Orange 5. Cadbury's Flake Nestle Maverick 6. Sainsbury's Rich Dark Price: £2.99 7. Nestle Maverick Description: The meat and two veg 8. Sainsbury's Easter Bunny of the Easter egg world. 9. Sainsbury's Belgian Egg Comments: Dull, unaesthetic pack- 10. Guylian aging for an dull, unaesthetic prod- I I. Galaxy Giant Egg 20 FEATURE 25 March 1998

Ever Wanted to Fly? Sleep With Winona Ryder? Win the Grand Prix? Travel at the Speed of Well, You Can. How? With Lucid Dreaming

"Last night I dreamt that 1 was a butterfly. young researcher - StephefBtaBerge - to Now 1 don't know whether I was a man set the discovery on a scientific founda- dreaming 1 was a butterfly or I am a but- tion. His book, Lucid Dreaming is the terfly dreaming I am a man." it. If left to chance, such events are rare definitive work on the subject;; His research and lack clarity. Fortunately, it is possible to continues to this day via;? the Lucidity The dream world, while we are in it, is just learn how to achieve a lucid state regularly Institute, an organisation he founded to as logical and genuine as what we jokingly and to use the awareness to increase your promote research and interest in lucid call reality. Whether it is God or physics at control over the dream dreaming. the controls, the world is an immense mechanism of the possible and the likely in While public knowledge of lucid dreaming Stephen LaBerge has also invented a which play a tiny part. We have only a min- is only recently becoming widespread, it is method of training to help people achieve imal, physical influence on our surround- far from being a new discovery. As early as and use lucidity, known as the MILD tech- ings. Yet everybody harbors secret wishes the eighth century the subject received nique. This method has been used to great of the impossible; to travel in time; to extensive study by Tibetan Yogis who success, with a few students becoming make love to the most desirable partners claimed to have almost total control over lucid on the first attempt. Usually it will imaginable; to be the world's greatest gui- their dreams. However, the first modern take several weeks or pdssibly months to tarist; to move out of their body; or to fly figure to examine the phenomenon was the learn and, as they say, a lifetime to master. at will. When we are awake, such things Marquis d'Hervey de Saint-Denys, a dedi- Have confidence in the techniques, and be are impossible. When we are asleep, they cated researcher who recorded his own persistent, and the potential rewards are called lucid dreaming. dreams from the age of thirteen. In his first unlimited.

Lucid dreaming is the ability to become This first step in the MILD technique is conscious or 'awake' while in a dream, Events and feeling experi improving dream recall. Usually, dreams and thus becoming able to take control are largely or totally forgotten by the not only of your actions, but of your sur- enced while dreaming are dreamer unless they are awoken while a roundings. All of the 'impossibilities' dream is still in progress. This selective above are easily achieved and more - the at least as convincing and amnesia probably evolved to prevent only limit being your imagination. dreams interfering with man's understand- Remember also that events and feeling real as those in waking ing of waking life. However, it is both pos- experienced while dreaming are at least sible and interesting to learn to recall your as convincing and real as those in waking dreams. life and it becomes difficult to see why book, Dreams and How to Guide Them you would ever want to be awake. A (1867), he outlined the methods by which An important part of dream recall is get- dream is no longer a place where you are he was able to recall dreams, become ting a good night's sleep. This allows you a helpless victim, but a place to dismiss aware of them and ultimately to control to focus better on the dreams and leaves the cares and concerns of waking life and them. This work was picked up this centu- time to record them while still getting suf- do exactly what you like. ry by a Dutch psychiatrist Van Eeden, who ficient rest. Furthermore, the REM periods published the remarkable paper, A Study of in which dreams occur become both more The key to lucid dreaming is becoming Dreams, which coined the name lucid regular and more prolonged during the aware, while you are asleep, that you are dreaming. It can be read in full at night. You will also need a notebook and experiencing a dream. Most people will www.phoenix.net/~blake. pen for recording recollections. Initially, be able to recall dreams where this has you should write down everything you happened, and may have even used the The next major in dream study was a scien- remember about a dream, no matter how awareness to direct the dream, perhaps tific one - from around 1952 it became pos- bizarre or fragmented it is whenever you by facing a nightmare situation to defeat sible to electronically measure brain activity. wake up. Even vague information, such as Several excellent works were published (see bibliography), and these advances inspired a 25 March 1998 FEATURE

"eamsigns last thing to pass though your mind as you slip into unconsciousness. To compliment Here are a few tests you can perform and this technique, try writing out a contract Hies to look out for that indicate that yQfik with yourself, signing it and leaving it by are dreaming. Whenever something odd your bed. fepens, whether you think you are asle«p: or not, perform one or more of these teM| Another useful tool in recognising dreams so that they become habitual. in the dreamsign - something that you can observe or a test you can perform to con- If you are wearing a watch, take a look atflp firm whether you are dreaming or not. The Are the hands moving around smoothly? key to this method is to routinely look out Can you read the numbers? Try to use yaB for the signs and perform the tests during mind to stop the watch, or if it is digital,*! waking hours, so that they become sec- flange the numbers on it. ond-nature. The box opposite shows some commonly used dreamsigns, but you jump into the air. When awake, you ivill should try to invent your own. obviously fall to the ground with a bump. ||||ien dreaming, however, the inverse Next, you need to re-enforce your inten- square law rarely applies and you miJjjl tion of having a lucid dream. When you float down gently or even stay in the air For wake from a dream, try to imagine how it some time. would have been if you had become lucid. Visualise the point at which you would Try to remember the chain of events that a particular person or room turning up, is have spotted, for instance by recognising led to the current situation. In a dream, you useful. one of your dreamsigns, that you were are unlikely to be able to go very far. asleep. Tell yourself 'I'm in a dream', and If you wake up directly from a dream, you imagine how it could be directed in a way Look out for events that you consider are likely to remember it well. The trick is you desire, such suddenly gaining the abil- impossible, such as meeting dead people, not to move or open your eyes, but to ity to fly. objects suddenly changing into other immediately rerun the dream in your head objects or the dream being set in an before writing it down. Concentrate partic- The final stage of the technique is perhaps impossible location. ularly on any dialogue, as this will be for- the hardest; repeating the above stages gotten by the morning. If you can't face until your intention to have a lucid dream is ^motions may be particularly powerfulBB writing much at 3am, summarise as best set. While you fall asleep, continuously unusual in a dream, particularly sexagf you can and fill in the detail in the morn- remind yourself of your plans. If your mind arousal. ing. starts to wander to other things, start again. Remember, the aim here is to make It is also a good idea to read through your sure you focus on having a lucid dream dream journal before falling asleep each right up to the point of sleep. More Information night, with the firm conviction that you will wake directly from your dreams and If you're not successful immediately, don't The Lucidity Institute, www.lucidity.com, is remember them well. If you are still unable get frustrated. The time the method takes home to a wealth of information and to wake during the night or remember to work varied from person to person. If research data on the subject. They publish anything in the morning, it may be neces- you're getting fed-up with getting no a journal, Nightlight, and offer the chance sary to use an alarm clock. This is best set results, then take a week or two off (though to contribute to the research yourself. The for 6 or 7.5 hours after you fall asleep, also sell various devices intended to with the aim of coinciding with the end of induce lucid dreaming. one of the extended REM periods. Before and your long, you will probably be able to recall Other web resources include a good several dreams each night. This is an wildest dreams will overview at www.stud.uni- interesting and revealing experience in hannover.de/user/73853/ and a 'layman's itself, and indicates that you are ready to guide' at home.earthlink.net/~izone/lucid/ move on to the second stage of the quite literally come . For a more amusing take on the subject, course: focusing on your intent to see the homepage of a 'Certified Lucid become aware in your dreams. true. Dreaming instructor' at www. world- famous. com/Lucid DreamingStuff/. The aim now is to be able to recognise it is wise to keep up the dream journal). Another interesting site is Lifetools at when you are in dream sequence. While it Also, I have only outlined the techniques www.lifetools.com/ novadreamer/- may sound easy, remember that however here. Check out some of the sources given novadrem.htm, which sells various elec- absurd a dream might be, at the time it is below for more detail and new methods to tronic aides to lucid dreaming. the dreamer's reality, and they are unlike- try, including ways to direct and prolong ly to doubt it. After all, how many times lucid dreams. Once you are successful, you Probably the best book on the subject is do you seriously consider that you might will certainly feel that your effort has been Lucid Dreaming by Stephen LaBerge. Also actually be dreaming during the day? repaid. worth a look are Lucid Dreaming by Patricia Garfield (the text that inspired This simplest way to achieve awareness is Persevere, and your wildest dreams will LaBerge to begin his research), and The to tell yourself, as you drift off to sleep quite literally come true. Bride of Dreams by Van Eeden, in which that "Next time I'm dreaming, I'm going Jeremy Thomson he presented his ideas and findings in a to realise it." Try to feel as if you really fictional style. Van Eeden's other major mean it, and if possible it should be the work, A Study of Dreams is available on- line at www.phoenix.net/~blake. A Su in in ( r to R ( ill e ill

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For further information and an application form, contact Janet Jones, Projects Officer, Extension 45536, Room 506 Sherfield Telephone 0171 823 8968 Building, email [email protected].

ACCESS VISA MASTERCARD CASH CHEQUES Closing date: Wednesday 8 April 1998. 25 March 1998 MUSIC 23 ALBUMS TH DUST JUNKY9V Done and...Dusted

fter Hold on I haven't got the wrong CD have I? This sounds dis- tinctively like the Black Crowes. (It to follow. Their new album has I can't be, but only because I don't : '.,:.,'> :',:. Virtl have any Black Crowes stuff). criticise' and containing 'possib Nothin' Personal, which begins the they've recorded' in musical pap album has a funky bass line and Maker, but have still only received kicks into an aggressive hip hop ictory average ratings. rant - a real crowd shout along. I compare the Bluetones to a What Time Is It? hits you next ihv btone Ro«.es Like- ihc Roses though a little too similar to the hear one of their songs they seem previous track, again with an :;p 'a'i ' >' you h extremely similar bassline and enough ;.rr

rcr,| 'CCi " :\ii. Non Stop Operation with the lead before, but the album as a whole s singer sounding like a harder ver- so well together. On first hearing tl sion of Tricky! .strefc.hed i.o < > .cy ( Sometimes they come across f could name at least five, rangin; as a second rate Rage Against The - :. ' i, :i . . to If... Machine {Here I Am)and it'd be which incorporates an off beat rh< worth your time to just stick to guitar tune. your Rage records. Ai i As a live band I reckon they !Vi..!i'k ;'.!; must be excellent at rousing up the can. j-.v«.ii! off :;,r>\i y.n; ">":.;:: crowd with their many anthems, O.'i ;'hi l' .i . ,-.! but after a couple you'd be forgiv- ' i:: en for thinking they'd stuck a r'fc'iMv!;;- SSJ't!::'*: !.':.: i'O K< :" ii'..' looped sample of the same two 'good Ai. i.l:t'i>' j:i":".':"',-i',>;:.'. "'ihiifs , - tracks. They've tried to reduce the ),'r HM' all of those people who have just monotony by sticking in a couple once and aren't that impressed, il of ballads, but these are worse J]' ',.' than the 'in yer face' songs. i''.; ' ' ive it. I The Dust Junkys lyrics are about drugs, fights, women and wasting people who get in their way, although you always get the impression that they're all talk and no substance, d jason

hese Glaswegian lo-fi indie tions. They are NOT apologising in ly bad (which explains the direction URUSEI terrorists have been thrashing advance for the album. The next they've taken). The shouty vocals T around for the last couple of track that follows is the mightily are so reminiscent of fellow YATSURA years, and were heaped with praise addictive Hello Tiger, a perfect Glaswegians Bis, but thankfully Bis by excited music journos, glad for a piece of messed up squealing ended up careering down the path Slain By Urusei Yatsura break from the ruling Britpop norm thrashy power pop that you feel to washed out headache inducing at the time. This band brought a you have to experience live to gain boredom, while Urusei Yatsura did 'fuck you ' attitude to the whole the full and bloody effect. This is a themselves a favour and steered happy, chummy music biz world. real grower, all the melodies, which well clear. Their attitudes have not changed leap out at you whilst hidden As a live band you get the an inch since their debut We Are between the axe grinding of the impression they must kick ass, the Urusei Yatsura, and to be honest guitars and shouty lyrics, insinuate energy that lifts the album up on they have probably taken them fur- themselves into your thoughts. record must be intensely manic on ther to a scarier level, where they It is a relief to hear some stage. shout about 'Killing Your Parents....' unashamed distorted guitars and If you are slain after listening to and giving a big fat middle finger to Pixies like inclinations from a rela- this record, then it is probably the the industry they hate to be a part tively new band. They are probably best way to go. CI of. not old enough to have been Jason G/o Starz kicks the album off weaned on Frank Black and co.'s with the opening line of 'I'm sorry, exciting take on guitar rock. I'm sorry , I'm sorry, I'm sorry', but Whatever they were listening to, it don't misunderstand their inten- must have been good, or appalling- 24 MUSIC 25 March 1998

ALBUMS

i TRANS AM BERNARD BUTLER Pr<)pk. ydk hhb '"'..>; < w b >v*yi The Surveillance No stars

1 must have been asleep the day it , ' '." ' : i. ;.. S . . i. it >. ,...." yyiiyb: hfifbdbhhh was decreed that noise constitutes i . .|'...- wi ;}>' i ,i . music; otherwise there is no way '&. id. i'jtied fiK".-v-, f.ibvio!!::. The yyixyyyy. .jb: ...rubefy in half of this would even be consid- f. hfikli:: iiCi! XxxXiyxXxy.. wi/ib' 'id", "bd ytyyyyyyyyy, .bf-div:''' if.? bv oOahi: ered for release. Here are a couple xxXii. for k/dhny *b'h;rbbeb:y ke-k.did . h c.J '...' x of examples. Prowler '97 sounds fu! somyy snd ii.sxx hwLi.y id xx; pifdf"' A'ii'h h,!X)y,s!ix;} (bf:'"ft hb like the product of a fight between t'/qsiddftg rl:-'g«?:li<; voir;'.-' 'x yxyixy '..".'/»"..::. ixyyyxjyx i-yyyyiyyx ihat o( a CD and a Brillo Pad and Access X ' : r ;'ij.:!.i). Control is a contender for the long Sine:?: h'sj. \vyyy xhxxx xxxxxxxlx '! " " 'i .':'"..' i it. awaited soundtrack release to that departure form Suede and all us ! Xxix lyxjiXy .bis':,;.'.-: audio-visual masterpiece Pong. xjx(Li'\Xiyyx.yy.xy,yxyx .'i.r-b o-r>u.i, ne d'by .'ili'v;. rr.. nyy;,yX:ix y ;-.){ cb

1 With some of the strangest JXXXixxxyxxi whh, !h«\bd h>b:;dbrM'd'nv i ' ' y ii' ' «.'i i'dii sounds I've ever heard and fart a i'i's.JJ-t With XiX. (xM'yX Xryyy h'Ci'(.:ft:> ilxx vi'ivey Iheiyib' ::.;'.',;;:' ixyxx, src. noises aplenty, The Surveillance vok.n i:rMt'i fb: At''}, dad- >u >:) !>Oi ".':'. ' . ' " i! SI ei

has less sophistication than Bambi fibs 'illlari'.'.'i d'<\ ' red: .x:xxyy.iiy h'Si.'.'ili H,XxX:MxiX xxxr' "ixii,i\ txXX' on ice. You will probably have iXKiji!f>. t'tiky prv>*ds.!'"c;d oi >:h'?: : i y. "' " : never heard anything like this yyxyxcy.i: tf'.v.'.;: h'H'r.K.i''d' i ,:y; fbr': ,.yyy Xv'xxry- X'xSy' :;,:!: :" ycb' before, and really it would need a . :b . yourself to take the record off whole new genre created specifi- Theft: xxxyyx.r.:, 'xx rxx y :, <.':.yb>:r '.ft>..'i'd:h:>.(;0 hyxyixxx xxxxxxxyix r.y cally for it. However, it would defi- o:-:-, y, hh si ,:!,;;-wnd

nitely be more suited to settle W>! i ' I'i Tv XXyyiaiyiX:; K Xyry y. yiyl bmUdh': under the broad banner of 'shite', xx'xryiy :%klU bXx ifdkTin f's"'i.!).:<}>:: hboVe! ii. i .>.-,; : Al' and never to be heard again. On, :i(\4 .} fi';jr;i'n<~A).i- :b>y.: yyyy xxxyxxxyXi xxxyyc Xvxiyyyy, 'Vh<: rxlxnx. Judging by the paranoia con- from the Ardm.if xityy.sx xxxx', fi.y-xtyi

even let you get near this one, but Tb/y two bowfe: r,'y;»:,w;:;:b tdf.tr> IXXX.i IX XX jxxyxiyy.yfyxx ...,f bsCr XibxXi-

should this be governed by Group 'f-A dibbd. ;%&-g:ms. thy, album :bve yi.-i.i.ft -.file .arcjiff X: y, yyxxyx 4, just steer well clear.d Derek iir.-V: bh.vk XX. 'b'sif'ye'd ,'i.by fc:T ..:;: if:;. c;j! li.cnt.-;, bl if if xyr XXxX.';.;;i X; i.'.i. 'i::''"'i.":':i.!;by 'iTiC/vyb

C\f> ' " -)) i i:\xy whole yi'diiiirs," hyjy w, ' ,:; on' towards his musical zenith.

; L '..: ', . . b .':'! :5ih:i:;;p;!.' i'i:,.,,' <>>.;,; .bih'f.*:«'5 dkcepd'i.« :iy ;:!>n'.rr:.y 1'i-idfeu:! hwf .o

EMMA d'K;> L'W.d.' ii'TfMg VO!,. o:fy ryvyxy.y-'yx soey heel be- awed yoi Winterland lines in there and some rather the brilliantly strange voice of Angst-ridden hippy females, aren't CLAWFINGER funky guitar playing if you wait a Tommy Scott, they were sure-fire they great? Emma Townshend, the while but it's still very formulaic at winners from the word go. daughter of Pete 'Who?' Clawfinger times. Strangely enough the last According to the cliche, their sec- Townshend joins a long line of song is a token 'nice', quiet song ond album should have arrived high-pitched, deeply disturbed Swedish death metal rap? - which isn't that good and anyone after a flurry of press speculation women and sounds almost indis- Hmmmm,..Nice! (NOT!). Basically, who bought the album isn't going and excitement, only to be panned tinguishable to most of them. She read no further if you're scared of to bother to listen to anything like by the industry. has a lovely voice with a range bands like Korn, White Zombie, that. Fortunately that's where the from middle C to about an octave Body count, the Deftones, et If you like this sort of thing then cliche falls apart - Tin Planet is a above top C, not always quite in al even then you probably won't it may be worth a go but don't go fine album. The spikes of originali- the right key, but then what's a few think this lot are that good. buying this on a whim - it's not ty haven't even dulled slightly as wrong notes between friends? And Clawfinger are a strange lot, all in exactly elevator music. 131 they try new things with their music like |oni Mitchell, she writes and all, trying to mix the heavy riffing of Martin like it was quickly going out of plays all her own stuff. On some of Korn with rap, the attitude of Rage fashion; the opener is a Latin affair her songs, she sounds a lot like Tori against the Machine with the with Scott's voice sounding like he Amos, on others Janis Joplin, Kate cheesy lyrics used by bands whose SPACE was some leeetle Mexican and the Bush, and sometimes, perhaps first language isn't English and the other end of the spectrum is at the alarmingly, Alanis Morissette. use of Indian music, all as heard on Tin Planet other end of the album where Don't let that put you off, though. their recent single Two Sides. I'm techno rears its head. In between This is a fabulous album, and not saying that this is all bad but it's Space don't quite fit the 'difficult' there are absolute gems, the best deserves to be bought by every- certainly an acquired taste though second album cliche. Yes Spiders, of which is the last single, The bal one. I really like it, but I think I there are some deceptively good their debut, was excellent. The lad of Tom Jones, which features might be unique in that. Grow your bits in there, especially when you blend of styles saw a band emerge the vocals of Cerys from Catatonia. short, boyish crop out, put some get past the initial few REALLY from Liverpool that wasn't merely Only Space could get away with flowers in your hair and around heavy songs. Then you get to a col- another Beatles clone but one that something like this. Here is a song your room, buy a grand piano, lection of lighter songs which, exuded originality. They mixed that is about two lovers who are wear long, floral pattern skirts, go whilst still being heavy, have a few Frank Sinatra with dance beats and about to kill each other but are barefoot, paint your toenails with more hooks and better riffs, being a sprinkle of effects and loops to stopped by the sound of Tom glitter, and return to the Summer of much more controlled and accessi- create a sort of '90s take on lones' voice. Cool! CI Alok Love. See you there.El Julia H. ble. There's some good, slinky bass cabaret-pop-dance. Coupled with 25 March 1998 MUSIC 25

ALBUMS

Live drums and guitars, p JAMES EVERCLEAR key part in the brilliantly TS Electric Hairdo, as the diversity of Best of... So Much for the the instruments used seems to increase with every track. A prob- Afterglow lem often encountered when faced with such a mind blowing array of West Coast based guitar, bass and instruments is what to actually drums trios will always be com- keep your ears tuned to, but as pared to Nirvana. Unfortunately Lionrock keep things simple with this means that they always come perfect pop structure there is no across as watered down. such problem. You can't deny that the energy The title track, City Delirious, and spirit are still present, as well brings us vocals in the form of the as the sombre storytelling style semi-rap, semi-singing style of the with Everclear. Check out the Stereo MC's in such a catchy way bonus track, Hating You for that allows us to forgive them any Christmas, which tells a tale of lack of lyricism that may exist. being dumped at Christmas time. Indeed the voice adds such quality Jolly stuff, eh? What seems to be to the sound, it wouldn't matter in playing truant is the raw emotional the lyrics were in Esperanto. spark. For something that's sup- Overall, a wonderful album that posed to be punky and aggression- keeps your foot tapping from fuelled, you feel like they got bored beginning to end. and rattled this song off during James their sleep. However, there are revealing high points, in that they are the veryone knows at least one looked like they wouldn't be releas- instrumentals. Media Intro is sam- TORTOISE song by James. They formed ing anything else earlier this decade pled from a 60's movie about anti- E in the mid-eighties and and, of course, those who thought depressants but it's El Distorto De TNT bucked the whole idea of synth- that Whiplash was James' first Melodica which is the gem. It's a pop and the much-hyped 'New album. cacophony of overamped guitars It's a jazzy thing and it sweeps you Wave' that was appearing in the James: The Best Of contains a and screaming voices and is a along with the trumpets cutting in music scene back then and instead list of the band's history, as you cross between Primal Scream and like rustipg-i^gold -iff peace and created songs that mirrored the would imagine. It's not chronologi- The Sex Pistols. The problem is that you car/feel Hie fipfgfr tips on the guitar pop of bands like the Smiths. cal, though; expect to hear things these tracks are the odd ones out. strings /and th*e p/ushed on the They hail from manchester and like the recent She's a Star and Maybe next time Everclear will bongo? a-sweeji a sweep and the were at their height in the baggy Waltzing Along nestled up along- churn out an interesting alternative whole thing hangs tpgether some- 'Madchester' scene at the turn of side classics like Come Home and record with weird noises and how a irfi>plls o%|d;iWn the road on the decade along with bands like How was it for You. It might be a haunting harmonies. However, I wheel:, ckf [bass* jjitj't;^f-bdat it's a the Stone Roses, the Happy strange way to package a compila- feel they might be too far down the thobbihg|mel4fi /fhjc#{4^^|d Mondays and My Bloody Valentine. tion, but it works. It really is possi- punk grunge trio line to extricate stumbles when Jmk chords- lump In 1990, you couldn't go anywhere ble to see that the essential ingredi- themselves fully. Dennis out froVi behiha'Mj and cha! INT! without seeing a James flower ent that makes the songs so good the snare pi|k/ up y^aving threads scribbled somewhere. Whether it is present and correct in all of the and it goes 'banging aj6ng rolling was on a wall, a poster, a magazine tracks in the same way. Part of that LIOIMROCK along. /* \ p or on a schoolbook, it made certain 'something' is singer Tim Booth's / set my face ra me hillside, the that the band's name was well- voice which was amongst one of City Delirious * * * * equatprj, a simph\4ay to go faster known. This was partially due to the the strongest and most distinctive than Ifyitytlyit flffps not work trun- re-release of the excellent single Sit around when the band started up City Delirious is Lionrock's second dle albrgj CfCfng that quirky thing Down around then which came and this is still the case today. album and it's nothing short of the SLSoension bridge at iguazu shortly after what many still claim is If you are an old fan of James superb. There's a mix of instrumen- falls th Jinarhes a-e just right, when their best album. Cold Mother was and you saw them through baggy tals and lyrical tunes, but it's the along oames fotr-day interval and almost a masterpiece. It seemed to back in '89, then you'll already have overall production of the music we're- back to square one - the talk in the language of its fans and all of the songs that are on here and that really allows the music to gel. dark cpnrinental melodies start up its songs were damn catchy. The you won't need me to tell you to go We're treated with a mix of again from ttfeir melancholy roots band released Seven and Laid in out and get it. This album is clearly rhythms and beats, with live guitars andAiowly pfck up the beat until the early '90s but it was their last aimed at those generation of fans and off key basslines, forever loop- we'tal rollfng| allong again, all album Whiplash that seemed to who bought the last album and ing in on each other. dresiecf uro ari no particular place bring them most success. This want to get into the older stuff. Or The first single to be released to go. ! I \ | album contained songs that were those who have heard Sit Down from this album is the triumphant TNt isla lazy Sunday afternoon very indicative of their earlier and decided that they rather liked Rude Boy Rock. With a pumping when it's/not realy warm enough efforts but brought them up to it. Well, if this is you, then do get bassline and a catchy brass section to sit Outside, but! you do anyway date. The good thing about releas- the album, you won't be disap- lead, Lionrock have placed their and sucjk on a^ \J&J" with your ing a compilation of their best pointed. If you don't fit into any of proverbial paw well in the court of shades /on mistkk comfort for songs, then, is that it unites all the the above categories but you have pop. One would assume that any happjness - it'sl al sad memory different sets of fans that James an open mind and want to experi- dreams of pop stardom rely heavi- recop/idered wheri | doesn't mat- have. There are those who were ence a brief history of one of the ly on this being accepted by the ter aj\y more - it's t( point where around in '84, those who jumped best bands to emerge from England mass populous, and from the satu- you drift to sleep after a hard onto the bandwagon in '89, those in the last fifteen years, then give it ration radio play it has achieved depressing day. who 'discovered' them when it a listen. You'll love it. E3 Alok this seems inevitable. Jeremy 26 MUSIC 25 March 1998

SINGLES

A huge number if singles Let You Go - they're almost identi- Astral Dominoes is sparse, dancey- grace this page this week. cal. Same bass, same skipping trancey stuff from The Chemical Read and enjoy... beat. Don't bother with this if pilot which isn't much different to you've got her first and if you the rest of this type of thing and is ' ' haven't, well, don't bother with this hardly a prime example of the sub- ,:!! :

either. Let's have a bit of variation tle combination of different ' '-(' 'i ' i:

next time Ms Moore. beats/sounds/etc. r-';.:.' ' '! Cartoon carry on the trend for Moke's Wheel Is Motion isn't bad ::\F' k-tliv" " NASA publicity with Men from but not really good with nothing in !< ? ' Mars. Soundng like a more mature the punchy riff to distinguish it. ' *'i 'v. .?V.i."-:v ' i ' version of the prepubescent Crash, Vaguely reminiscent of a more indie this is definitely worth a look, if not Reef, it sounds as if they had one just for the cool cover. good idea and decided to use it i :M' .-I; ,vhy l\:h: ''V Lynden David Hall is always soul- until it died a horrible, messy death. ful, slow and sexy and doesn't dis- appoint on Do I Qualify. Either you Martin like this type of thing or you don't. rab Strap return with Here We he Warm Jets produce another So do what you please. udioweb's Policeman Skank... AGo Again. A beautifully depress- T sound single with Hurricane. If Derek A (The Story of My Life) is an ing Scottish ballad. Spoken, rather you liked the last ones, then get anti-establishment number with the than sung, in monotone over basic this. Solid guitaring, singing and band called The Smiles? Oh video shot in a police line up room. strings and beats. Definitely would chorus, destined for the number 37 Ayeah, 1 guess these guys are Not as frenetically frantic as not be out of place in Trainspotting. position in the charts that they smiling in the same way that Bankrobber was but definitely in the Everything Goes Around The Wafer know so well, probably deserves Morissey is beaming from ear to same vein as before. Heavy for The Delgados. Deconstructed higher. ear. The weird vocals on Say Jamaican accent, solid bassline and indie patched back together with The Sun Beats Down by the High Something do the impossible by a climactic ending to the rising strings, flutes, and boost in melody. Llamas is a playful little number, sounding like both Roy Orbison and paranoia. Unfortunately the singers tend to that I could imagine the Beatles Bruce Springsteen whilst still stay- whine rather than rock, sounding doing as a B-side to Yellow more like the Scandinavian variety Submarine, just for a laugh. It won't ESSENTIAL CHOON of indie pop. get any airtime, you'll never hear Another band that is jumping on from them again, but who cares, the Black Grape / Fun loving it's fun. Criminals band wagon is Junkie XL. The Dawn of the Replicants fea- Robbie Williams Saturday Teenage Kicks is tedious ture next with Hogwash farm (the Let Me Entertain You rap with a dull dance track that diesel hands e.p) which is quite The bad boy from Take That has- does absolutely nothing for me. catchy, but definitely not a single. n't done too badly for himself and One of the B-sides, 100, is a instru- There's some nice guitaring tunes though this isn't quite as strong mental dance/trip hop track that and backing singing, but a patchy as the previous singles it certainly shows Junkie XL's full potential. chorus.He often repeats 'nothing ain't bad. He can't half sing How's It Going To Be is a song more than Hogwash' and the only either. about love and breaking up of a explanation for the lyrics of this relationship courtesy of Third Eye song is nothing more than hash. Martin Blind. It's as heart wrenching as Alabama 3's Ain't Going to Coa is a re-release or something like that and not a bad one. It is very easy to ing defiantly indie. Diwifr has a very strange opening. listen to, with a lot going on Laughing Stock is lo-speed, lo-fi Melys produce some scary xylo- throughout the song, a mouthorgan from Grandaddy, the Californians phone noises and a haunting solo and a very poppybeat. A whose dictum for band entry is female voice. It reminds you of strange Reverend-like speach in the sporting an Abraham Lincoln beard. Portishead a bit. The rest of the middle about some ass, but overall This track, like others they've made track sounds like a Welsh Bjork the sound is good. is equally at home being a relaxing singing over a Wannadies track. David H tune to chill-out to, or a mosher's Whether this is a good or bad thing delight. is for you to decide. ou'll like Tina Moore's Nobody Sick And Beautiful is a joy to listen Monkey Dead by Sunhouse is from Y Better if you liked Never Gonna to. Artificial Joy Club's female the forthcoming soundtrack of vocals are - as the song suggests - Twenty Four Seven, a film where both sick and beautiful, featuring Bob Hoskins trains a bunch of no- the wonderful cry of T need a quick hopers to box and in the process fix.' The sick/beautiful theme inspire them to make something of means that on one listen you feel themselves. Monkey Dead is prob- the guitars on it. The single does I he new sinj>k m romo off rhis is happy but on another you're left ably the track where Bob wanders contain the pop hit Semi-Charmed ->u;iposed so be Stjthin /Yinviii/. feeling downcast. Strange but down a lonely street doing a bit of Life .though. Not that that makes it

' :J , !: ' .. " ' amazing nonetheless. soul-searching and faith question- any better. f:]v Ed ing. An atmospheric acoustic blues You are bound to have already number that is both contemplative heard Ian Brown's Corpses, the '>; >f ' here is very strong songwriting and ultimately uplifting. heavily play listed follow up to My T on L/7

THA BOMBI

The last week of term and we look at what's happening down at KISS FM.

straight to the top spot. on an R&J5 tip it's equally strong with Lynden's At the same time Sexy Cinderalla, Say Nothin' by Omar, K-Ci and imports are the shit, Jojo's classic You Bring Me Up, the dope Brian cause there are so many McKnight You Should Be Mine and more from tracks that are the defin- Allure, En Vogue, Mary J. and Joe. You probably ition of phatness that got most of these but if you ain't, this is quality. never get a UK release. Still on the album tip, there's lots to look out From the end of last year for in the next few months. Aretha Franklin's we had MQ3's Everyday, album A Rose is Still A Rose is due out at the end which was doing dam- of April, the single (check the Phat Selection) is age on the floors, but also due for a UK release at the same time.The never got the airplay or Gangstarr album has been put further back to the hype and I ended up April according to producer DJ Premier, probably parting ways with a fiver due to trouble in clearing K-Ci Jo-Jo for the for it. There are loads of song Royalty. Work is out on the Caught Up tunes like that, you soundtrack and may be their dopest yet. Both hear'em, hunt'em down, tracks are doing the business and show but they're only there on Gangstarr are maintaining the skillz. They aren't import. As long as the only old school hip hoppers to be dropping there's money to be an album, Public Enemy are currently hard at made, we gonna have to work in the studio on their Resurrection. live with it. Smooth's new album Reality is out now; she has On the album front changed not only her record company but also two more compilation her style, rapping less and singing more and is albums (yeah more fuck- different to the usual R&Ji including a track more ing compilation albums) suited to Alanis Morrissette! have been released, but Milen &. Roni these are not the usual shit; for once we have Phat Selection two wicked examples. First up there is the Royalty - Gangstarr feat. K-Ci and Jojo Mastercuts Classic R&B. Gangstarr are hip hop and, with the original I know what you're swing boys K-Ci Jojo, they have produced a What's up! Last week of term and people out thinking, this has been done before, but surpris- track that is making all the right noises. there just chillin', well y'all can stop chillin' and ingly not. Mastercuts have probably done every start reading cause I got a page load of stuff for other muscial form including swing, hip hop and Deja Vu (Uptown Baby) - Lord Tariq & Peter ya. This weeks Phat Selection is an Essential even jazz-hop but not R&B; the album is Gunz Selection, a compilation of the best from the described as a collection of classic R&J3 cuts Monster! This is getting heavy rotation on the past couple of months. The rest is the usual shit, from the ages, and this is packed full of dope radio, cause this is a killer. An ode to their news and reviews. tunes. The club classic Only You by 1 12 and home, the Bronx, from two underground rap- What the hell is happening down at Kiss FM, Biggie is included, Faith Evans' / Just Can't Wait pers. they have gone from getting the best of the from the High School High Soundtrack and of underground DJs and promoting them, to simply course a track from the boys Jodeci Cef on Up. You Make Me Wanna - Usher signing high profile figureheads. Obviously I am As well as more from Blackstreet, D'Angelo, Toni After blowing up on import back in the autumn talking about the Dani Behr situation. Dani has Braxton and Brian McKnight, this album is class You Make... got its UK release and went been signed to do her own weekday radio show but there is a downside cause included on this is straight to number one, you wanna you from 4 til 8, although she has no previous radio a Mase track, and this track ain't classic R&J5. gotta. experience. She's been put together with two The second compilation set is Kiss FM's Smooth other current presenters, Janice Vee and Grooves '98 double album. A collection of the No, No, No (Wyclef Remix) - Destiny's Child Lorraine Ashdown. So far the show's not been best tunes from the past year, it's all good here. The four girls from Texas together with the all that bad, but the long primetime slot has The range of tracks on this is very impressive, Fugee's Wyclef bring us a phat piece of head meant pushing back the specalist shows and mixing up the best from hiphop and R8J3, with nod. The hook is so simple even the rock boys only time will tell if this leads to a lack of real LLCool J's Phenomenon, Busta's smash Put Your can sing along. quality R&£ on Kiss. I hope not but I got a funny Hands..., the huge club hit from Biggie feeling. Hyptonize, my favourite Wishing on A Star from Do I Qualify - Lynden David Hall At last, the huge Destiny's Child No, No, No Jay Z, the killer You Know My Steez by Gangstarr The second cut from Lynden's acclaimed gets a UK release. What's the problem with (Nim!) as well as Rakim, Missy and many more; album 'Medicine 4 My Pain' this is pure soul, record companies over here? Huge floor fillers sung by a man with real soul. like Destiny's Child don't get a UK release for time, why? It's so simple, it's all about the Weekend - Dave Hollister feat. Redman and money. Releasing on import means the track trick Sermon can build up some hype, DJs be playing it, peeps I've said this time and time again that this is hear it, they want it, but it costs (you know £6 phatness itself, killer hook, you can't help to £7 on import); so when it eventually gets a singing along to this. UK release its gonna go thru' the roof. The best example is the Usher gem You A/lake....' A Rose is Still A Rose - Arthea Franklin released on import in September. People were Lauryn Hill lovin' this, and when it got its UK release in The Queen of Soul shows her class. January, we all know what happened, it flew 28 MUSIC 25 March 1997

I CLUBSCENE - ALBUMS mil DJ JEROME PACMAN French Sessions - Continuous House Mix Random (02) Mixes of Gary Numan [Beggars Banquet)

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istance Records is a French me higher!" vocals. Quite frankly, :ii.i=';;jd A rve.e ve iyL.ys ;:y i s y AAAi Aeieeere y>: ., ;:i>>, ;' AA'A , 'ee. fee'',.. A ree.ne ehereei-ere: yyyi record label that has really there's enough of that about today. 'A 'neei'.:, 'ee.e<. :.or-eeAivA. '^''.r'SCt. D made it into the forefront of We're talking about music that is as thoughtful l:t"if.k rhh*. -eteseiee : house and techno in recent years. comfortable in your CD player at IhAAe reeeeei ibryoy h'ter: ylyyyyyf: :- !";'.;::) !i i.:' onby. Concentrating mainly on straight home, as in any superclub. ..!'.' ,:.!

! house and techno beats, this com- Personally speaking, any music that Two viry et'f-e^ee yyyyyy .-.f' A..e.''c, \e:< } ':Ai'eeAv"i i:~Cpyy: .'ic r pany has proved itself as a truly can work in different environments itie c>riirie:A \A'. 'ere yyy ~.e 'e,ie international collective, combining is music that has been produced e'sbeev-. A'hkAi.y.y'':. "A'.ee l'e:eA"ere 'e i] eerre, AeA. i.jrfhj.iVdy e '. 'en .' and releasing talent from all corners from the heart and is driven by pas- e\mve -')" y 'n.eee, ieeeeee (vyy- : i '.::[.. of the electronic globe. Look out sion, not economics. 'ikeef reehre* reereA'e. MeeA-eArUA, !(',/./ . I for a forthcoming feature on the We begin with a recent track ieeeee 'Ae.ee.: Aee eAA' Are yyy^yv ,''':,--' A, p" e'~ nArrr, I ' 'iv label soon. Until then we have this from the man of the moment, '!! , ,':ri\: album to listen to. This is the first in Kevin Yost. His work on the USA eeehie r-yjy >.y;j, Are yyyyyy

a series of albums to show us that label i! records is highly collectable. yyyri ..AyeAe'eei 'e'er \.re!eeeer »"" .:! the cream of rhe 90s techno Laurent Gamier is not the only The piece included on French .'' ' ' AAA'' < e'eA'A. French D| that we should be listen- Sessions is a beautifully produced AAeAAi-.A. ieen>ii.ev: '''AAe.ee.-'' 'Are e''ii AAA;

Jerome Pacman originates from house/jazz. Check out the saxa- i)eeeA]:A. ty-vyy- ]^-.«ir,e±.i;j : ' erAAnAe '':'«:' :~e, 'r''vr:. the capital of France. We normally phone solo. We follow straight into r ' !; .:!., > (''>, A , ;.' y.">;,;; ',:;.. y: asociate our French cousins with a minimal yet rhythmic track from '''!. A :

CLUBSCENE - THE ELECTRIC CAFE

the eilectiriic cafie

Think of drum'n'bass, think of London, Bristol, the UK; think of Goldie, Roni Size, DJ Die; think of Full Cycle, V, Metalheadz, Moving Shadow. If those are the images that this musical style conjure up for you then prepare for a shock. Think of drum'n'bass again! Think of all of the above. Now add some names to those lists. Think of Germany; think of Frankfurt, Mannheim, Berlin, Hamburg and Munich. Think of Compost Records, Force and Paul, 'Into Something, and Fauna Flash... Fauna Flash! About four years ago two Bavarians from Munich began making music together. To begin with it was electronic music. As their production skills increased, it evolved into drum'n'bass. Fauna Flash soon teamed up with Michael Reinboth, the founder of the very influential Munich-based label, Compost Records. Now we have a new album from Roland and Cristian (aka Fauna Flash) called the Experimental Kitchen. Look out for it in good record stores NOW! jazz-style of, say Bukem. It's more to jazz and fusion. That's the back- was a whole new scene for us As if the Fauna Flash project original jazz samples and the sound ground of Fauna Flash." because we were always playing in wasn't enough, the boys have also is a little bit harder than the normal During his period as a drum- jazz clubs or at rock concerts." teamed up with Rainer Truby, jazz stuff." mer, Cristian was slowly getting "We got invited and I would say another Compost artist who hails So how did Fauna Flash come into electronic music. "I saved up that we were open-minded enough from Freiburg, in the Rhein Valley to about? "We've known each other for a sampler and some sequencing to try it out. So it was 'Let's go for form the Rainer Truby Trio. Rainer is for over fifteen years." Continues stuff and 1 was trying acoustic it and see what happens.' We just a star in the UK eclectic under- Roland, "We played as drummers drums with electronic percussion. went for it! Less is more. We ground, with critical acclaim com- in teenage school bands, and lived When me and Roland became a played simple beats together and ing from Giles Peterson and the in the same area of Munich. We collective it was because we people got into it." Talkin' Loud Collective and also started working together in this weren't satisfied in playing just in Both Roland and Cristian cite Mo'Wax, etc. It is also said he has type of music three or four years bands anymore; playing other peo- their musical heroes as "Weather a vast record collection of priceless ago, because we didn't want to ple's music. We wanted to do Report, Yellow Jackets, Miles Davis, jazz and funk and fusion. Definitely stay in the drummer's seat! We something alone. We didn't decide Cameo, all P-Funk music, Roy Ayers a DJ to check out next time he is at were in rock bands, jazz bands, 'now we're going to go into com- and the 80's!" the Blue Note! fusion outfits. Everything!" puters or now we're going to do The Rainer Truby Trio began The Rainer Truby Trio's big It is this openness and need to drum'n'bass.' It just happened after fauna Flash was an estab- break came when they were asked embrace as many different types of slowly but surely." lished and respected outfit. "We to remix Plis Infinis No 2 from music as possible that led to a tran- One of the first appearances spent a lot of time together (with France's Frederic Galliano (a big sition from being a part of the band that Fauna Flash made together Rainer). So we thought, because of star on the international electronic to actually being responsible was at a big techno rave with an the jazz background we have, we jazz circuit) on Laurent Garnier's towards the entire musical output. entirely new concept. "We hooked wanted to have another project. label F-Communications. The remix "We were always interested in to play at a rave with two drum sets Another thing that wasn't just is, in most people's opinion, the rhythms and beats. That's what is and some ambient records." drum'n'bass. Fauna Flash is just highlight of the EP. Subtle Brazilian so exciting about drum'n'bass. But Explains Cristian, "That's what got heading down one alley. With rhythms shuffle along dreamily, and at the same time we were listening us into this whole dance thing. It Rainer and his jazz background we the scene is set for a great piece of said 'Let's do RTT to get this other music. Michael Reinboth, musical form out to the people.'" I was lucky enough to meet up founder of The UK underground, whether with Roland and Cristian during a Compst Records it be the jazz community or the recent tour of the UK. The first d'n'b sceneis seriously getting into thing I wanted to know was how Photo: Alikith e sounds of FF and the RTT. This they could best describe their is the music that will prove whether music. Since drum'n'bass has drum'n'bass is a truly international crossed over to Germany, it has art form, or a cliquey UK thang! gone through some subtle changes. You can check out Fauna Flash "The main thing is and the Rainer Truby Trio on drum'n'bass." Replies Roland, "But Compost Records from Munich. it's a special view of drum'n'bass; very jazz-orientated, but not in the al;ck 30 MUSIC 25 March 1998

CLUBSCENE - CLUB REVIEW.

% ULTIMATE B.A.S.E. @ The Velvet Rooms, WC1.

have been meaning to attend place. I have nothing against Jim feet place to sit back in the most no. Just what the crowd had been this club for a very long time , you understand but Carl Cox has pleasant surroundings your likely to waiting for -first class stuff. Iespecially since it's refurbish- been my hero for many years now find in a club anywhere and listen to This club does not only boast ment late last year. For those of you and I would have loved to have up-front music. the best techno music you'll find who for some reason have not seen him in action again. In case your were wondering, anywhere in London especially on a heard of this almost legendary club We arrived around midnight the music policy is hard house / Thursday but a club that has the night, it is on every Thursday 9pm- and entered probably the most techno &. tech-house brought to nicest little touches such as air con- 3am and the occasional Saturday plush surroundings in London- the you by the best in the business. ditioning (no sweaty monsters in down The End nightclub. Velvet Rooms and I can now see When we arrived the place wasn't here) and people that come round It also has every thing "to do why it's so-called, with the walls packed but an ample amount of and collect empty bottles and with the big man Carl Cox who is covered with red cushions and pris- people were there and the music empty the ash trays so your not resident along with Jim Masters. tine red seats it just oozes class. wasn't to hard at all, but gradually falling over bottles all night. Either one or the other is always This is only a small club but it has building as the night progressed So full marks to club and pro- there. Unluckily for me we attended plenty of seating and a crystal clear until about 1.00 when the DJ moters. A night that will takes a lot a night when Jim not Carl was in the sound system making this the per- unleashed a fierce assault of tech- of beating. JP

CLUBSCENE - COMPILATIONS The House Music Movement The Sound Of The Underground

Mixed By DOC MARTIN (MASTER TONE) 1/2 Mixed By The Lisa Marie Experience ** 1/2

his is the first from a new 4. Has played with Dee-lite, The his is the sister series being spread success over the past few series The Complete History Prodigy, Mody etc. run in conjunction with The years, not only with their remix Tof House mixed and is pre- 5. Voted in top 20 DJs in the world THouse Music Movement. work but also with their own pro- sented by the worlds greatest DJs. by details magazine. This one showcases the leading ductions. Lining up alongside LA finest (Doc 6. Can hold a floor for up to 8hrs. names from around the world with The peak of there success was Martin) in this series are Todd Terry So he has the credentials - mixes to come from Norty Cotto's the club anthem of 96' Keep on and Roger Sanchez (New York), what about the CD. As you would NY latino, DJ Alfredo's balearic Jumpin' which also reached No. 30 Farley Jackmaster Funk (Chicago) expect the mixing is smoother than beats, DJ Marques Wyatt (LA) and in the national charts. and Murk (Miami). a babies bottom and the tunes are Psycho Bitch &. Teri Bristol In case you where wondering Accompanying each of these taken from the early days of house (Chicago), covering the under- the mixing is of a high standard, no mix CDs is an interview CD featur- music. The set builds and progress- ground that is 90's club culture. lame uninvolved stuff here but long ing some of the originators of the es nicely. I remember what some- Neil Hinde and Dean Marriott running tight mixes. house movement talking with Jon one once said to me, "your set aka The Lisa Marie Experience get The mix is set rolling with a true Fleming about the history of house. should be like your telling a story" the series underway with their own house classic House is a Feeling- The man behind this first offer- and this is a good example of it. blend of up-front club cuts that by Sunday School and this is a ing is Doc Martin. I'm pretty sure The musical styles covered are have helped make London one of good indication of the overall style most of you won't be familiar with deep house with occasional vocals, the most forward looking club cul- - not the most underground selec- the name, which is surprising as he getting harder towards the end. tures in the world. The musical tion I can think of but not a bad is one of the major players on the So all in all this is a very com- style is underground disco/ house one either. Again this all comes world scene. So here are a few petent mix CD nicely packaged but not quite as underground as I very neatly packaged with plenty of things you should know about him: with plenty of background info on was expecting or hoping. info on the boys. 1. Has played for 28 days straight. the scene. And you won't find any The Lisa Marie Experience take All-in-all this isn't a bad start to 2. Has over 1,300,000 airmiles. chart toppers on here as is so often there name from Jacko's ex-wife what could be a comprehensive 3. Only West-Coast DJ to have the case, but only the real music Lisa Marie Presley (but don't ask review of that broad spectrum of lived in NY. behind this musical revolution. JP me why). They have had wide music that is House . JP

ChOCOlate Weasel. Spaghettification ( Nlnja Rec.)

A mesmerising collection of Waveforms a wicked album but All this is not as serious as it sample based beats ranging from goes off the deep end now and might sound T-Power says slow moody tracks too more then. This ones nowhere near as "Spaghettification is a complete upbeat high paced numbers bor- dark or minimal as Waveforms, it's parody of everything that we're dering on the realms of D&B. I love a much more accessible album. normally serious about" and Cris the heavy electro influences run- This ones packed full of TV film adds "it's about moving away from ning through many of these tracks samples and even street preachers D&J5, because you can't take the with that monosyllabic space bass as in Rambling going on about piss within D&B" ith the Easter break loom- that T-Power has made his own. global pollution, Weasenstein with It's all the little touches that ing you'll want something T-Power says that "we were a sample from a early Frankenstein make this such an essential piece Wto sit back and unwind to. trying to keep that simply bedroom film 1 think, and Flying Saucers with of listening, and they're what keep Something to take your mind off studio style" And they have suc- not surprisingly samples from TV you interested. This is also what the strain of exams, coursework ceeded in doing just that, taking a films and news about flying separates the innovators and the and all that shit. Chocolate look back at the roots mixed with saucers all superbly blended with imitators and Chocolate Weasel Weasel's Spaghettification could upfront beats. Those of you who chopped and stretched beats 'n' definitely aren't the latter. be just the thing. have heard T-Powers last album breaks and they all work so well. JP 25 March 1998 MUSIC 31

CLUBSCENE - COMPILATIONS ESSENTIAL OLD SKOOL HARDCORE MIXED BY DONAVON "BAD BOY" SMITH (DC1)

efore D83, before jungle hard to believe. There's even some The first time 1 listened to this, notice them if you listen extremely there was the original hard- in here that I don't recognize. I kept thinking "I hope this tracks closely, and it's always suitable B core sound. As house went Dance Conspiracy's-Dui) War on there" and then it would come resolved. One of the best tunes on acidic in the late 80's a new strain gets us underway with that serious on. Believe me, they're all on here here is the Bad Boy's very own of dance music was born using hip- sub-bass and beautiful breakdown and then some. A really compre- track Obsession - one of my hop breakbeats as it's heart. It was closely followed by Zero B's hensive review of the 92-94 rave favorite tunes of all time. heavier, harder and faster than any- Lockup - not the mix that's normal- scene. So if, like me, you grew up in thing before. It was the soundtrack ly played, so it's nice to see the At this point 1 must come back the rave culture this is an absolute to the rave scene across the UK. Bad Boy staying away from the to the mixing - which is second to must. I promise you will not be dis- Donavon "Bad Boy" Smith, one obvious choices. As there are so none. If you don't know these appointed. For the uninitiated this of the original DJs and producers, many other great tunes from this tracks inside out it can all go pear is your chance to hear what you has expertly mixed together 24 true era. shaped very easily. This is a time missed and find out what ali the original hardcore classics as only Two tracks from the superb before the music was so styled and fuss is about. someone with his experience Rhythm 4 Reason are featured here separated. A time when you could IP could. I have always liked the Bad and as with many of these tunes still play what resembles D&J5, Boy's mixing and this is no disap- it's not only the shit hot use of Jungle, Breakbeat, Happy Hardcore pointment. It brought back so drum patterns, a whole array of dif- (4 beat) and Techno alongside many memories of times 1 doubt I'll ferent b-lines and clever samples, each other. see again. but the astoundingly deep break- The Bad Boy knows exactly This double CD pack is just downs. It's amazing how they stir when to put the mixes in and when ram-jam-packed full of so so many up such strong emotions; they still to take them out. There are a few groundbreaking pieces of work it's send a shiver down my spine. hairy moments, but you'd only

CLUBSCENE - SINGLES

DRUM *N* BASS

ADR Feat. Brown Girl. Burning track is OK - a good idea that Addiction/Carlito.Future Elements frequency chimes and an unintru- (Deconstruction) Out Now. doesn't really work that well. If you (Creative Source) Mid March. sive b-line. Sun Stars is more of the V.l.P dub is the pick of the bunch like jazz and house then this should Strong hi-hat and percussion intro same; deep 'n' rolling breaks and the one your probably hear in be right up your street. soon joined by a double-bass dreamy atmosphericals and careful the clubs. Starts out with nicely sounding tone, piercing keys and a Eqing give it a panoramic feel. Are chopped up beats and a siren n' Goldie. Believe. Groove vocal & squealing trumpet takes you to the you ready for a journey deep into acid influences. The powerful bass dub mix (Metalheadz) 23 March break. Fast stepping beats soon the sub-conscious?,This one's sure drum sets the pace, looped title No, this isn't a misprint. A garage take control cv soft touches of jazz to keep GL fans more than happy. vocal that you all should know by tune on Metalheadz the home of - not too much, nice &. smooth for now and gun shoots take you to dark 'n' hard drum and bass. Very the mix. One for the stepping and Scorpio. Trouble the break. In drops the heavy duty pleasant female vocal and cool jacking masses. Hey, hey. Flip-side (V Rec.) Out Now. sub-bass &. strong old skool influ- electro breakbeats make up the has tougher beats and stronger This is fast becoming a label like ences, sounds slightly dated but I intro, then in roll the stepping atmosphericals in a jazzy style, and Metalheadz &. Goog looking, where like it and it's well made. garage beats. All this has a very those melodic keys give it a more you can buy every release and original feel, a refreshing change intelligent feel. you're almost guaranteed it's Rugged and Tough. The Sound / from most of what you'll find in the gonna be wicked. They've done it Got to Get (Confetti Rec) March. shops. Dub mix toughens up the The Prisoners Of Technology. again, with another storming This is a track with silky smooth beats &. cuts down the vocal. I pre- Crazy/Cold Blooded (Fresh Kutts) release from V records. I didn't production skills, a very full &. deep fer this mix but it's far to short. 23 March. think they could match Warhead sound, slow beats, dark intrusive Another strong release from the but they keep doing it - metallic sub-bass, haunting keys that fits DEA Project. White Label P.O.T boys, and this ones right up echoing bass drum and, when it together tightly with a stunning (Marvel City Rec) Out Now there with their previous releases, drops in, watch out for those seri- female vocal that should complete Another old skool remix but what a which is no mean feat. Crazy is a ous stepping beats and a variation the track perfectly, but this is tune to remix a truly awe inspiring dark jump-up sort of tune with a of that awesome bassline. where it all goes wrong, as the track. It's been given what is being fresh rinsing b-line, but the one lyrics ruin it for me " This is the called the "smooth groove" treat- that's been making all the noise is Moving Fusion. Turbulence sound I love, when I'm rocking in ment; not the usual speed garage Cold Blooded. It has a fuller sound, (Ram Rec) Out Now. the rave with the massive 'n' crew" mix that most tunes get. This gives more complete, building beats with This is a limited edition sampler But then again I'm particularly it a slight edge on the hoard of old nice little cut backs and an accom- from the forth coming Sound In picky about things like that. skool remixes out at the moment. panying bell tone. Sirens and title Motion album that is set to blow up Flip-side has some two step busi- vocals take you to the break then like Chernobyl, and is due for Circo Castelli. Roadblock ness going on with pleasant female watch out for yet another phat fil- release mid-April. My local shop (S.I Projects) 30 March. vocals, but it doesn't do much else tered b-line. I can't wait for the sold 25 copies of this single on the The best way to describe this is as but that's why we mix. next one. first day it was released. A totally a jazz-house fusion, with a distinc- ruff tune and check the bole bole tive piano cx snare intro, then Look out for Flex Kru's, Watch Artemis. Inner World / Sun Stars bassline, that's been tearing up all comes in a double bass sounding the Flex (issue 1108) as it's get- (Goodlooking Rec.) 6th April. the right clubs around the country. b-line and a fast tempo bass drum ting a full release on 23rd March. In that traditional GL style, mean- It's even getting quite regular plays this all works well together. But Their ruff remix of Robbie dering string intro punctuated with on the radio. Enough said. JP the piano comes in too strong and Williams latest tune is also due acoustic guitar and shortly followed for too long. Apart from that the for immanent release. Jo Public. by those rolling breakbeats, high 32 MUSIC 25 March 1998

CLUBSCENE - THE UNDERGROUND MUSIC GUIDE THE UNITED COLOURS OF ADAM F

dam F is the man behind the AF. Yes, they have set me up first underground drum & with my own label F-Jams, which I Abass track to truly cross- have full control over from the art- over into the mainstream, putting work to musical direction every- drum & bass in the public eye for thing, what they bring as I said the first time for all the right before is the promotional experi- reasons. ence. Two years after its initial JP. Do you feel this music can release, Circles, a massive under- go the same way that rap music ground anthem, was picked up by has and build its own empire ? the likes of Radio One and Kiss AF. well if you think about it, ten FM due to it's sheer quality and released heard by a larger audience, years ago rap music was in the they have got a lot of small scenes originality, although they were as tracks like Metropolis you proba- position that drum &. bass is today, dotted about over the country, the slow on the uptake. bly haven't heard unless you go out and they both started in one small place is just so big that they are all With the support of the radio to the right clubs, or buy a lot of place and grew from there, so very spread out, but there is a bases stations, Circles hit the national vinyl, so this is aimed more towards hopefully, yes. for the scene to grow out there. charts at Number 19. This show- educating people who are not so JP. Is there a chance of the JP. What influences your work? ing that the true underground into the scene as well as releasing music losing its underground AF. Everything, I listen to every- drum &. bass tracks can easily some new material" flavour with the majors getting thing, from R'n'B, soul, hip-hop to compete with more traditional JP. The new single Music in my involved ? whatever. styles of music, if they can only Mind is another wicked track that AF. No matter what happens JP. What's in your car stereo get equal air play. People won't go is also getting a little bit of air the music will always stay alive, no at the moment? out and buy records they have time on the major radio stations. matter how big it gets, whether AF. It changes every day, but at never heard. Do you think it will chart ? people want to water it down or the moment I've been listen to After the success of Circles, AF. What ever happens, hap- what ever there will always be peo- Goldie's new album. Adam was a wanted by several pens. 1 try not to set expectations ple who make music for the love of JP. What do you think of it? major labels who had realised that as you only get disappointed it not the money, if you look at hip- AF. It's good to see something they could make money from drum ) P. If it does, would you go on hop music it's changed from where he has been working on for so long &. bass. At only 25, Adam is already Top of The Pops, as I know some it started but still maintains flavour to finally be finished and released, I one of the major players in the people have something against JP. Can the music maintain it's think it's very good. scene with a string of ground break- going on shows like that ? underground flavour and gain JP. What our your plans for the ing tunes under his belt. AF. If it seemed right at the time mass appeal? rest of the year? Metropolis recorded on the yes I would, I have had offers to go AF. Yes, just look at Circles. 1 More touring, I'm back off to legionary Metalheadz label on shows like TFI Friday and that. didn't remix it or anything for the Japan soon, and concentrating on increased Adams' status, a tune With TV, with all the profile 8. pub- charts, it was the same as the orig- the live show and on making it a well ahead of its time with a phat licity you get it's not a bad thing, inal release a few years earlier and it better show watch. and totally original bassline that it's all about how you present your- gained wide spread acclaim and JP. With your shows are you took drum &. bass in yet another self, but you will not catch me on after getting air play it reached going for a more live sound? direction. It was one of those piv- any kids shows or anything like that. number 19 in the national charts, so Not live as in acoustic, the bass otal tracks that summed up the vibe |P. So we won't be seeing you that proves that it can" player for example has all key- of the time and will be played for on Alive 'n' Kicking then? JP. You have been touring a lot boards and samplers round his neck years to come. And who could for- AF. No not at all the last year what is the world as well as acoustic bass instru- get Aromatherapy on Section 5 JP. Do you feel it is a good or scene like, is it picking up? ments, so he has all the different records? bad thing that all the big name AF. Yes, I have been to Brazil, sounds there at his fingertips. Adam kindly took time out of his producers and Djs being signed Japan and America recently. Japan's The live show is so intense, we hectic schedule to talk to me about up to the major labels? on it in a big way, that's where the have all the different bass lines their his new album Colours and the AF. Well I can't speak for other album sold second best after here, so we can switch straight from one music on his mind. people, each person has to weigh they have got a good little scene to another, we play with the audi- JP. Other than remixes, there's up the options and work out what is going on over there. Brazil was ence. We have all live breaks 'n' only four new tracks on Colours. best for themselves. 1 spoke with mad, there is not much of a scene synthesised sounds, mixing the Why is this ? Goldie, Groovrider and a few others there but they are a crazy party mad sounds live. If you want us to drop AF. "Well it's as much about who have already been signed to nation who are up for anything, in the Metropolis bass-line over say getting the stuff I have already majors and decided that EMI were Americas know what is going on, Circles we can, it's not like we will offering the best deal for me. It's be there on stage playing flutes and nice to get that security, the finan- things, but saying that I have tried cial backing to do what you love everything over the last year. with out having to worry about money all the time. 1 feel it is impor- If you fancy see the man live tant for me to be with a major label and direct, you can catch him down as they have the experience of pro- the Astoria check club listings for d d d ffl * moting on a worldwide scale and dates. that's what the scene needs. Jo Public. JP. Do you still maintain full control over your musical direction ? 25 March 1998 IC RADIO & FILM

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wednes thursday fri day Comez 78 Scone Wobble (Hut) Rialto Dream Another Dream i'lvV'I'i John C ri.axa iyjKfcri 12 New music, com- :-'.: iris: nse'iriiylisi: (EastWest) tssja petitions and gen- . i i ij . i Alabama 3 Ain 't Coin' to Coa - 1 ' ' ' eral banter from .,, i i a«t:5 (Elemental) the comic genius Dawn of the Replicants Hogwash Mark | Lanre Tobi's new (Warner) 1 - 1 hope you're ready i replacement. R&3 for this! Ring 58085 i and soul with a Moke Wheel in Motion Emotional times, dear Felix readers, as this is 2 for ANYTHING 1 mellow feeling. (Dorado) the last radio station page of this term. Annie Christian Love this Life Consequently I thought that it would be apt if I leee.. ' Roni from Tha (Equipe Ecosse) 5 - ... ,; ,'vir;.-""Y;.T!' Bomb! brings you Starting of! Fridaj gave you all a round up of what we've been Tzant Sounds of Wickedness : his R&J5 selection i:\ei,;yi!/.v..ir:i;...... doing this term to provide you with aural plea- 6 (Logic) sure. Montrose Ave Where Do I Stand? Nim2: We've been interviewing, recording, and (Columbia) 6- The latest D&.B and watching bands as regularly as Diana tributes Ether Watching You i swing grooves in a have been appearing in the tabloids. We've (A&JVl) 7 ! rotund manner recorded Fidel, Dererro, Spectre, Varnaline and Mover Tricolore the Interpreters in our Northside Studios, and in a .:'"».. Ian Sample ititwifl i'a.oiiiri (A&JVl) have interviewed the likes of Evil Superstars, 7 - a aeea-e Radio One award > ' Ben Harper Faded contender digests the Hormones, the Crockets, The 'O', and (Virgin) 8 the news ... ¥./es«::.:;.i Scoot, to name a few. We've also done a live Arab Strap Here We Co link up with the Counting Crowes at the Albert (Chemikal Underground) Nolan the top j.j,,-.'1 ae . | Laurie Hall, and have had D) Hurricaine (DJ with the 8- choice of post- .ti: .... i Mandatory listen- Stereophonies Local Boy... sport tunes with an i ing for those who Beastie Boys) in to do a set, as well as broad- (V2) 9 Indie accent :, 1 know about quality casting a specially recorded set with Money Young Offenders Lose Control Mark. Not bad, eh? (Columbia) Alex |on and Ali .riwriria Anyone can take part in any part of IC Finitribe Mind My Make-up 9- Take you to the rid: ...la:: ».a a.:. Radio: interviewing, recording, DJing, or going ...... , Vinyl Frontier and (Infectious) 10 beyond to free gigs. If this appeals to you, then join- it's as simple as that. All you have to do is pop into © Student Radio Network 1998 our Southside Studio and say what you want to do. |on Crabb

There's a mass of film releases over the Easter vacation and so we are giving you a selection of the best (and the worst)... Win Gridlock'd on video

Sheen is second fiddle and acts Cridlock'd is released by Polygram Video on 6 April, priced £ 12.99. It's a MONEY TALKS accordingly, which reminds us that refreshingly different film about drug addicts which avoids many of the he hasn't made a good film for a usual stereotypes. It's about two buddies, one black (the late Tupac Starring: Heather Locklear while. There is a more successful Shakur) and one white (Tim Roth), but for once it's the black bloke who's Director:Brett Ratner on-screen chemistry between Release: 3 April the level-headed sensible guy and the white one that's the crazy ass Tucker and Paul Sorvino, the latter dude. ix Richard Pryor (30%) reprising light-heartedly his charac- The two are part of a jazz band along with Shakur's girlfriend. When Coodfellas. with Eddie Murphy (70%), ter in she OD's and ends up in a coma they decide that it's finally time to kick M and saturate the resulting Tucker is the star and is actual- the habit and get clean, and the film tracks the day that follows. The prob- crude product with helium to yield ly quite funny, while the plot moves lem is that there's a huge obstacle in their way - bureaucracy. Forms, Chris Tucker. along nicely with copious explo- queues and more forms conspire to prevent the two likeable leads getting Last seen as the irritating camp sions and a good climax. It's just into rehab. pop-star in The Fifth Element, that the film should have been This is an impressive directorial debut by Vondie Curtis Hall, who has Tucker is fortunately more bearable called Beverly Hills Weapon 48. created a very individual, stylish film. Much of the sardonic script is spot- in this role. He plays a fast-talking The only surprise is that the main on and he combines this with some truly hilarious moments. If there is small-time con-artist wrongly baddie is French - "Kill zem ali" - one criticism of the film it is that it's slightly lightweight, with too many blamed for a deadly prison break. rather than English - "I am going to shots of the duo fleeing from the police rater than developing the plot. Baddies and goodies are all after kill you now old chap!". Not really However, it's still very enjoyable with great dialogue in places. him and his only hope rests with worth the price of a cinema ticket, gravel voiced cynical newsman so wait for it to come out on video, FFI Beatwax have given us two copies of Cridlock'd to give away. Charlie Sheen who is hunting for call a few mates round and with the To enter, simply e-mail [email protected] with "Gridlock'd" as the subject that headline exclusive. For some money saved buy some Dorito's, a and we will pick the names out of the proverbial hat on Friday. reason they only have err...two few dips and get the beers in. days in which to resolve it all. Stef Biagini 34 FILM 25 March 1998

11 im « yhen rioting citizens when playing the timid sibling. He | \/\/ of France destroyed must also have enjoyed leading V V the Bastille, they such a distinguished cast, although discovered within its records a Starring: Leonardo DiCaprio, Jeremy Irons, John Malkovich, it seems as if Irons, Malkovich and mysterious entry: "Prisoner number Gerard Depardieu, Gabriel Byrne the rest couldn't quite agree on 64389000 - The Man in the Iron Director: Randall Wallace * * * whether to camp it up entirely or Mask." This much is true. The rest play everything straight. The of the storyline of Randall atrocious dialogue would favour (Braveheart) Wallace's film is the former, yet Irons in particular somewhat less likely. It is twenty takes his role seriously, even when years since the glory days of the endlessly repeating, "One for all, all Three Musketeers and each has for one." There is also inevitable gone his separate way. Irons' confusion on pronunciation and Aramis is a priest, Malkovich's accent since the Musketeers come Athos is a content father and from three different countries. Depardieu's Porthos is a flatulant, But one can't be too harsh on a beer-swilling rogue who runs a film which is clearly aiming to be an brothel. Only d'Artagnan (Byrne) amusing couple of hours rather remains in service, loyally than an epic. Ignoring the prestige protecting the evil King Louis of the names on the title sequence (DiCaprio) from his enemies. will allow the audience to sit back In fact, DiCaprio is so evil that and let the Saturday matinee script he has consigned his identical twin and swashbuckling roll over them. (DiCaprio, funnily enough) to a life Even then, some may find the of imprisonment, where he is Leonardo DiCaprio heads the all-star cheesiness of the finale hard to forced to wear an iron mask to hide cast of The Man in the Iron Mask stomach, but in terms of mindless his identity. When this is discov- enjoyable nonsense for women ered, the Musketeers come out of honourable and caring brother. variation in his roles. While not especially, The Man in the Iron retirement with an ingenious plot DiCaprio, the man of the quite convincing as the powerful, Mask is fine. Q to replace the King with his moment, clearly relishes the scowling king, he is in his element Chris Hickey

tell the story of a young Hungarian immigrant to that the basis of the script was written many TELLING LIES IN AMERICA the United States. years ago is very easy to believe, as the plot Starring: Brad Renfro, Maximillian Schell, It is the early sixties in Cleveland Ohio, and stumbles from one adolescent fantasy to the Kevin Bacon Brad Renfro is desparate to become an next. This is a semi-autobiographical tale, with DirectonGuy Ferland American. He is enchanted by the world of rock the emphasis firmly on the "semi". Unless, of Release: 3 April and roll, so when he is offered the chance to course, a vice girl really did service the seven- V2 a starwor k for DJ Kevin Bacon he eagerly grabs it. teen year old Esterhas outside the confines of creenwriter Joe Esterhas is a man of rare Renfro learns all about the American way of his imagination. insight. Having made his name by showing doing things when he becomes involved in some This film treats a potentially interesting sub- S a generation of steelworkers that there is dodgy dealings with a record company. ject in a boring, and at times ludicrous, manner. more to life than welding in dance-as-symbol- It comes as no surprise that this is Esterhas' There is perhaps one entertaining moment in of-freedom classic Flashdance, and dissected pet project. The subject matter is far less lurid the whole film, but it fails to atone for the hour the nature of obsession in the infamous Basic than his recent output, and not the sort of thing and a half of self-indulgent nonsensell Instinct, he now draws on his own experience to that screams commercial success. His assertion Simon Bradley TwentyFourSeven Starring: Bob Hoskins, Bruce Jones, Danny Nussbaum DirectonShane Meadows ifk.it it hane Meadows made 25 ting into trouble. However, there is short films before 247, his one man, Bob Hoskins, who tries Sfirst feature-length picture, to install some purpose into their and put the experience he gained lives by starting up a boxing club. to good use in creating an intelli- Hoskins is a lonely man, and it is gent and moving film. possible to think that he starts up 247 is shot entirely in black and the club to give himself some direc- white, which helps to convey its tion. Although this is true in part, Hoskins discusses tactics with his boys message and give the audience a his real motive is to help others and clearer insight into the characters' to form a sense of community. attempt to cope with their the end we really care for this old world. The film is set in and around Everything goes well for them until situation. Shane Meadows puts tramp, due mainly to one of a housing estate in Nottingham and their first match with another box- across the message that every Hoskin's finest performances. He is centres around a group of lads who ing club, when Hoskins can no single person, is special and also ably supported by the support cannot break their 247. 24 hours a longer tolerate one of the lads' demonstrates this through Hoskins cast who include many actors in day, 7 days a week their lives fathers who beats his wife and son. himself. We see him at the begin- their first role. remain exactly the same - signing This film has many themes run- ning of the film as a tramp living in If you want to see something a on and hanging around on the ning through it and is also quite an old train carriage. We learn of little bit different, I would definitely streets doing nothing except get- funny in places as the characters his story through the film and by recommend 247.D Adam 25 March 1998 FILM 35

REVIEWS AND COMPETITIONS

GATTACA SPHERE Starring: Ethan Hawke, Uma Thurman, Jude Law, Gore Vidal Starring: Dustin Hoffman, Sharon Director:Andrew Niccoi Stone, Samuel L Jackson Vi Director: Barry Levinson Release: 27 March fter the recent Dolly devel- opments it was inevitable fantastic cast, an Athat a cloning film would be acclaimed director and released sooner or later. Cattaca is Athe intriguing premise of the first such movie and portrays an alien craft found at the the frightening image of a future bottom of the ocean floor - where couples choose their chil- what more do you need for a dren from a catalogue. In a world sci-fi epic? where perfection is cherished it is Well, a decent storyline might the ultimate gamble to conceive a help. Sphere is based on a Michael child by natural means. The results Crichton novel (which was written of this genetic role of the dice are before The Abyss so no an underclass labelled "in-valids", accusations of plagiarism please) who are unable to compete with and suffers from a surplus of their stronger, healthier and more ambition. It assumes the audience intelligent opponents. Ethan Hawke is an imperfect is bored with little green men and One such in-valid is Ethan human in a perfect world so instead concentrates on the Hawke. The second he was born a psychological effect of being con- blood test revealed that he would reaching Saturn before he dies. plots and character development fronted with an alien species. die of a heart condition at the age Cattaca was written and are often confused. Furthermore, The direction the film is going of 29. When he fails to get a job directed by Andrew Niccoi and is when the plot does develop it is in is made clear in the opening due to his imperfections he "bor- clearly a very personal version of often as predictable as the world in scenes, when we see that the crew rows" the identity of the valid Jude the future. His is a sterile, imper- which it is set. However, there are sent to investigate the craft is an Law, using his body fluids to pass sonal world where genes are all several clever touches and the act- unarmed collection of academics, the tests to get a job with Gattaca, important and unpredictability is a ing is more than adequate, making including a psychiatrist (Hoffman), a space travel organisation. Here thing of the past. The downside of this film a worthwhile way to spend mathematician (Jackson) and a he meets Uma Thurman and this intriguing film is that this a couple of hours and far superior biochemist (Stone). Their initial attempts to achieve his dream of imagery dominates so that sub- to Sphere. O Chris Hickey interaction with the ship is fascinating but the sense of mystery is lost as the audience Tift; mwm realises that no explanations will Stacks of tickets to be be given. Rather, Levinson sticks r-'-if'i 't'-c ''.'< r: > .:.;:;!;>«.*' < rigidly to the (frankly unexciting)

1 t3 :'.;;" : .'. ; :.'< ,.-.;;!.:>{>!'.-rbooi; v k and the degenerating state won from the ih": ilitisat'-v ' !': " of the crew's minds. This is all a bit of a shame since film that has left me feeling so the trailers implied that Sphere is a awkward and uneasy. Scenes are gripping Event Horizon meets The stretched to a point where you Abyss affair. The reality is that it is wish it all to end and, without a psychological thriller which just understanding the director's happens to be set near an alien hidden meanings, the film craft. As a result it will disappoint KENSINGTON becomes boring. This may be almost everybody who sees it. D Tiii< y.ja Chris Hickey 1HB MAN MM f HI JACKH BROWN films with deep messages and symbolism. However, the rest of No room for a review of Most] mom MASK us who like our popcorn and pop Wanted. However, it's an Quentin Tarantino's latest film films should steer well away from adequate action thriller with Jon Want to watch distinguished actors stars Pam Grier, Samuel L Jackson Voight (yet again). enjoying themselves in and Robert De Niro. The cult swashbuckling roles for free? Well, director has moved away from the VIDEOS TO RENT the Odeon Kensington is giving you style of his first two hits and the chance to do this by offering instead concentrates on a solid LOST HIGHWAY 1 87 five pairs of tickets for Leonardo storyline about a gun-smuggling air DiCaprio's latest film along with hostess. The acting is superb One thing you can Samuel L Jackson followed Pulp some exclusive Iron Mask mer- throughout, especially by Grier and safely say about David Fiction and A Time To Kill with this chandise. Now there have been Michael Keaton, and helps make Lynch is that he dark thriller set in a Los Angeles some easy questions over the past this another fine addition to doesn't make ordinary school. He gives an excellent term but this one takes some Tarantino's stable. To win one of films. Lost Highway, performance as a teacher whose beating. To enter, just e-mail us at five pairs of tickets, e-mail us and starring Bill Pullman and Patricia very life is threatened by the vio- [email protected] with the answer to tell us: Arquette, is a bizarre mix of film lence of the classroom. Depressing the following: genres that constantly takes you by and bleak, this nonetheless carries In which record-breaking film What was the name of Samuel surprise. If you're fed up with linear a powerful message about the does Leonardo DiCaprio star L Jackson's character in films this mix of murder, mystery American education system. See with Kate Winslet? Pulp Fiction? and suspense will be a memorably page 42 for a chance to win one of creepy alternative. O two copies. — "GET YOUR LAUGHING GEAR ROUND THIS GUINNESS COMEDY TOUR

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HARD, SOFT AND WET Melanie McGrath

elanie McGrath won the edgeable, but is touched with a Imperial, will be able to recognise 1996 John Llewellyn Rhys degree of pessimism about it all. both themselves and people they Prize for the best new Her initial guide in cyber space is know within it, from the techno- British writer under 35 for her first Nancy, her best friend. Nancy phobe to the computer nerd. book which has the serious sound- works in Silicon Valley as a software The style, however, eventually ing title of Hotel Nirvana: Dreaming marketer and it is down to her to becomes alittle repetitive - M dis- of the new age in the American explain some of the convolved, covers some increasingly technical desert. Going by the number of technical jargon. phenomenom and then jets off to rave reviews printed all over this, M in her quest to understand farflung destinations to hobnob her second novel, 1 woundn't be what it's all about travels to various with those in the know. Because of suprised if it garnered her some places such as Iceland, Moscow this the story begins to lapse more awards. and America. In each new part of halfway through. Hard, soft and wet actually the world she manages (with Overall, it is quite a good book, refers to hardware, software and apparent ease) to talk to the fore- although I think someone more wetware (in other words, us, peo- runners in their particular fields of knowledgeable about computers ple). Aha, I bet I've lost your inter- expertise. and cyber space, in general, would est now haven't I? McGrath has McGrath is a talented writer. enjoy it more. The novel does, taken her own experiences and She writes both fluidly and coher- hoever, have a stylish green and sil- : ...,!.',,....:::': . Q: use . d them as the basis for the story ently and it is obvious that she's ver cover so even if never got read which charts the voyage of discov- done her research. While an impor- it would look suitably impressive on ery of "M" as she explores the digi- tant part of the novel is about tech- a bookshelf. tal age in all it's glory. As it's written nology, she never falls into the trap Nicole in the first person, I assume M is of sounding like a computer manu- the author herself. She goes from a al or allows it to overshadow the Published by Flamingo, £7.99 complete novice (newbie), to characters. Anyone who reads this someone who is far more knowl- book, especially students at

Sagittarius (23/1.1 - 23/12)Productive educa- Taurus (21/4 - 21/5) Leo (23/7 - 23/8) tion expands the potei izons of your Uncluttered simplicity is the definitive key to Clouded by controvejtpPfftjblic opinion, you mind, leading to thAproUfpMHl of imaginative success, as disorientation thijjugh insignificant accomplish the restrictive responsibilities asso- opportunities. However the learning process, details or misjudged^KJfflipS only serves to ciated with your position of authority. The cre- indicated by th00^dmus Page of Cups, pro- confuse your state opmnd^flkelling on missed ative Three of Wandsindicates that necessity is vides a constructive foundation only when bal- opportunities remaips a futile fkercise, so con- the mother of i^erlnc*. exporting your talent- anced with periods of contemplative relaxation. centrate on fulfillingMeaningfflfdesires. ed initiative.

Capricorn (24/12 - 20/1) Virgo (24/8 - 22/9) The successful completionilofM fundamental Sentimental relaxation provides,crucial stability enterprise enhances y|ur Itflfe of gratifying and confidene«t^ittjj|Pi|je uMwf a nurtur- contentment. The\^ptnl^npm>rld therefore Horoscopes ing environment^Uner jfep Bstong influence initiates a period of blossoming self-awareness of the honest King of IWftdfesjPou achieve coupled with an increasing sense of satisfaction security through personal developments and with the status quo. harmonious co-operation.

Aquarius (21/1 - 18/2) wit ft Libra (23/9 - 23/10) The isolated Hermit represents self-inflicted The rational Two of Swords highlights the rup- alienation allowing itfiM|LPe^P^Ml evaluation of ture of delicatibalaral thrtneh ajfewer strug- recent accdl^MPS^^s^Mtne establishment gle. Although afflWWffoften cOHMired an anti- of projected- goal*,, indeed your momentary Nana dote to despair, a cautious approach of calm withdrawal from society consolidates your per- and self-restral^^^OT^fflrwBrraBempting to sonal strength and control of events. reconciliate feuding parties Gemini (22/5 - 21/6) Pisces (19/2 - 20/3) The prospect oLj^reaoowU^OjVJties during the The initial step of a jourr : .ys appears the holidays guides thS invesijtient of supreme Scorpio (24/10 - 22/1 1) hardest obstacte of progress. Despite subtle effort in a final burst of deteinination in view of The radiant Sun. symbolising dynam|tthchieve- feelings of frustration* the reliable Eight of an examination or evaluation. The competent ment and ener'.i uc motivation, illuminates your Swords grawts flp^Mpa perseverance when Seven of Swords enhances y§ur intellectual abil- cycle with sincere Mpe IJrJ cfcjytbfe aspira- facing your ingjpried "fesire for improvement, ities, providing stimulating JjSRScts. tions. The pursuit ol v iur personal goals and leading ultupately to satisfying rewards. intimate ambitiafis otters a pleasurable and Cancer (22/6 - 22/7) rewarding occupation. Aries (21/3 - 20/- The finalisation of.deefsk" commitments, An unexpected bio' apparent damage or indicated by the consultative Lovers, enables humiliation, suggeste the discordant Tower, the recognition^^^M^ts aMMtnwbacks with- provides in the long tej a useful and informa- in a treasured situation. The liberating capacity tive experience. Thus isinterpreted impres- of choice wan. isoh/ed issues sions of disappointment and resentment reveal clouding your efficientjfragement. a positive outlook on forthcoming events. RUB 38 ARTS 25 March 1998

LOADS OF CULTURED STUFF!

ANTIGONE FIDDLER ON THE ROOF Riverside Studios ULU

orruption of power, the which preserved the distant nature iddler on the Roof, by Joseph The company of performers, rights of the Gods over the of the chorus. The transition Stein, is unlike many musi- under the direction of Kirsty C rights of men, the pride of a between the two styles though F cals, in that it actually has a Bennett and Stephen Brown, were father, the devotion of a family. lacked a certain fluidity. My own fairly sizeable plot. It follows the of an extremely high standard. These are some of the many issues favourite scene was the impas- lives of a very close knit Jewish Both principal and chorus roles that are dealt with in Forbidden sioned argument between the king community in pre-Revolutionary were played with energy and Theatre's innovative and thought and his son. The actors created a Russia. The story concerns the enthusiasm, and all involved are to provoking production of Antigone - bond of sympathy between the loves, trials, and tribulations of be highly congratulated. It is cer- Sophocles' Greek tragedy about characters and the audience lead- people who are eventually forced tainly one of the better amateur love, death, revenge and honour. ing to perhaps the most dramatic to move away from their humble performances I have seen in recent The chorus scenes were performed part of the play. This effect was dwellings by the corrupt Russian years. in the physical theatre style that is only marginally detracted from by police. The plot reflects the views Vicky S. fast becoming Forbidden's trade the fact that the staging meant it of a bigoted Russian government. mark. The cast worked together was impossible to watch them both very well as a group and put a lot of at the same time. energy into these scenes. It is such Whilst Forbidden should be THE LOCAL a pity then that these scenes never complimented for having the fully realised the full potential of courage to attempt to perform the Standpoint Gallery the ideas. When the choreography play in this way, the lack of polish served to enhance and add depth resulted in a performance that an walks into a pub. Goes ney from pub to photograph in a to the text, it worked well and never quite fulfilled its promise. over to the fag machine gallery. We are made to feel that there was some effective imagery. Tom Mfor 20 Marlboro Lights. we need to fill in the gaps, to imag- At other times, however, I was at a There is no fag machine. Decides ine what might have been, and loss to determine the function of to spaz five quid on a fruit machine Elliot's photographs emphasise this some of the movements. instead. There are no fruit by their absence of people. He There was a good contrast machines. Sod it. He'll calm himself makes people more interesting by between these highly visual scenes down with a bottle of Pils. There is not showing them to us, giving us and the more conventional style of no Pils. There are no drinks at all. instead their space-prints, their the scenes between the characters, No barstaff. No bar. vapour-trails. In fact, it's not a pub - it's an art Sophie Newell has installed a gallery, the Standpoint Gallery to small room in the gallery. There are BONNARD AT THE TATE be exact, and I've stumbled into an no obvious clues that the room exhibition called 'The Local'. comes from a pub. Instead, it sug- Tate Gallery Ostensibly, 'The Local' tackles the gests a set of deeply embedded great British institution of The Pub. associations: the dark polyester ainting is a series of patches depict a wide variety of themes What actually happens is that 'The carpet says it's had Doberman shit that ]oin together to form comprising irridescent landscapes, Local' puts a pint of lager on the sponged out of it once or twice; P the object, the fragment vibrant still lifes and rich interiors. table and then drops a piano on the garish turquoise lighting says over which the eye can trave In addition to the exaggerated per- the head of anyone who tries to it's probably seen the odd feverish out interruption." jttspectives expanding the restricted drink it. The theme of 'The Pub' acts grope; the embossed burgundy A central event of thjl dimensions of the room, the origi- as a conceptual beachhead, wallpaper can't repeat what it's cultural calendar, the Tatft' nal composition reveals an unusual designed to melt into the wings heard. Newell is creating a concep- hosts the fiisi comprehenslxt tendency to dismember or section and allow deeply personal themes tual space for us to venture into, Pierre Bonnard(l867-l9475 retJH peripheral elements. Often a to take centre-stage once the and it's almost as if the installation spective since 190§nricliJding over blurted: reflection, truncated profile punter is hooked. Not fair? Who exists only to tell us what is miss- a hundred oil paintings, kfjfijk or protruding slipper manifests the said that getting punters to "engage ing, what we need to fill in our- and watercolours issuflBmJH PBiersai presence of Bonnard. brain when entering gallery" was selves. Yet again, we get that famil- worldwide museums aid private Bonnard's ui'< ;..>;,.goin g to be fair? Three artists are iar jarring sensation that comes- collections, this extensive exhibi- with the human figure, however, showing: Richard Elliot, Stephen from seeing an object so far out of tion traces the artistic evolution of has inspired his most recognised Perkin and Sophie Newell. Their context, having to confront what it the French post-impressionist mas- and admired pieces illustrating his work is both complementary and really means to us for the first time. ter. Although Bonnard's prlroJiil lifelong companion Marthe. T;H|' synergic, and an awesome sense of The themes of jarred contexts influences range from tf*cUtfflB nude portraits exude seductive space flowsthroughout the exhibi- and empty spaces run right Japanese prints to the works Of charm through the capture of casu- tion. through 'The Local'. It is a relatively compatriots Claude Monet, Paul al poses and intimate scenes, with Richard Elliot confronts us with small exhibition, but what it lacks in Cezanne and Edgar Degas, his ori- a passionate and sensual treatment a seemingly mundane blown-up quantity it easily makes up for in gins are frequently associated with of radiant flesh. Enhancing tike photograph of an ashtray, taken strength of purpose. It is a deeply the Nabis group. Signifying; model's curves, the ubiquitous using a tiny depth of field so that personal experience and it makes "prophets" in Hebrew, the followers bathtub is the focus of intense the bright lights of the bar in the an ideal starting point for novice art of Paul Gaughin aspired to the; Speculation by psychoanalysists. background are blurred, distant, connoisseurs and confused pun- accessibility and function , Hither a sheltering womb or iso- moving away. The separation of ters alike. A word of warning, of modern art. lating tomb, the elegant serenity the ashtray from its surroundings is though. Take a hard hat and watch and passivity of the instant remains jarring, and forces us to confront out for pianos. emphasizm -y"" , - what we feel about the object's /on jansen light and Helena space, the space where we think it was, the space where we think it is, the space it took with it on its jour- 25 March 1998 THEATRE 39

BREKEKEKEX COAX COAX

FROGS Courtyard Theatre

y love affair with Greek there are no decent poets about beautifully poignant speech. rhythm between the two writers. drama started with a pro- now Aeschylus and Euripides are The production at the The director has stuck faithfully to M duction of Frogs, which I dead, and as Patron of Theatre, he Courtyard brings out the physical the costumes of the time, and has- saw at a tender age. The immortal might be out of a job. So, he and humour of the play, and also what I n't cut any of the political satire. lines have haunted me ever since, his grumbling slave go down to imagine to be the rhythms of This is important; the play, like oth- and so I was keen to see this pro- Hades to rescue one of the two Ancient Greece. The choruses are ers of Aristophanes, has a serious duction of one of my favourite geniuses. On the way, he meets sung, livening up otherwise fairly message about civil war. plays. The play is a low comedy Heracles and the musical frogs, dull chunks of speech. The comic Go and see this, it's fun, it's live- about the roles of poetry and who sing all day in the marshes and rivalry between Aeschylus and ly, it's entertaining, and I really poets, with a biting satirical edge. bogs. Dionysis doesn't like their Euripides is wonderfully done, enjoyed it. Briefly, Dionysis discovers that singing, and tells them so in a bringing out the differance in Julia H

WAITING FOR GODOT Piccadilly Theatre

amuel Beckett's famous lively job with the clever script. his maltreated servant Lucky. Their the day before. The tramps desper- plotless play arrives at the They clown about the stage eliciting curiously symbiotic relationship ately question the boy, their only S Piccadilly for an evening some great slapstick moments. 1 and insane behaviour make the two link to the outside world, only to be of wit and puzzlement. Over found following the endless stream tramps seem almost normal. frustrated as the boy retreats off forty years ago, it catapulted of subtle witticisms tiring, although "Haven't they changed?" one tramp stage. Although the boy appears Peter Hall to fame when he the other theatregoers around me says referring to Pozzo and Lucky only twice during the play, it is directed the world premiere. were chuckling knowledgeably. after they've left,despite never hav- understood that in the timeless Now, after a distinguished The play's success lies in the ing met them before. The first half world of the tramps, he has been career during which he founded depth of the characters' dialogue of the play ends with the arrival of seen for eternity. As Vivian Mercer the Royal Shakespeare Com- and predicament. They strive to a small boy announcing that Godot put it: "Waiting for Godot is a play pany, he's having another go at achieve firm conclusions about life, will not be coming that day. in which nothing happens, twice" it. ' but every question they ask leads The second half is essentially As an interesting evening of With only a barren tree and a to an argument, serving only to the same as the first; Pozzo and highbrow wit and profoundity, the rock for company, two tramps ram- raise more questions. Their entire Lucky appear again, unable to recall play excels. Seats are fairly expen- ble around a barren stage, bored, existence is characterised by a having met the tramps before. Even sive, so if you prefer a more con- spending the entire play waiting for hideous, inescapable uncertainty. the tramps are not totally certain. crete plot, set in the real world then Godot. Julian Glover and Alan They are interrupted by the Once again the boy comes to tell I would recommend something Dobie throw themselves with gusto arrival of Pozzo, a country gentle- them that Godot will not be coming else. into the tramps' shoes and make a man on the verge of insanity, and that day, but denies meeting them Antony Butts

BEYOND ECSTASY The Brix

or those of you who feel that Where this play excels is in the the music was coming from the Dj The first half is amusing, fast theatre is for the chords and atmosphere that it creates, the way mixing it there and then, recreating and enthralling, the second grot- F jacket wearing middle aged, that the play was put together, the the atmosphere of the clubs and esque, terrible but satisfying. The it's time your minds were opened. relationships on stage, and the lives we were following. The pop- plot does not go as far as to advo- There's no need for cannabis, audience that it appeals to. style lighting enhanced the simple cate the use of drugs, but it cer- crack, speed, LSD, or even ecstasy As 1 lingered in the bar before set to allow easy and flowing tainly falls short of showing their because Beyond Ecstasy manages the performance, I was struck by changes between scenes from downside. But this is not the point. to dispel any pre-conceived ideas the type of people around me. It clubs to sitting rooms to cars to It is not meant to be an education, about the theatre and certainly was a mass of stylish 20-some- dream-like states of drug influ- it's a story represented and por- opens your mind-plus it's com- things, none of whom would have enced minds. The play does not trayed for youth with emotions pletely legal. looked out of place in any of the only use technical effects to gain they know and feel. There are plans There's so much to say about best clubs or pubs in the capital. A appeal. Beyond Ecstasy was to make it into a film, something Beyond Ecstasy that I don't intend far cry from the National or the devised by the company using that should work if the same spirit to waste space writing about the tourist riddled musicals. What was I structured improvisation around a and conviction is carried through. plot, apart from the fact that it's a to expect? The auditorium was story, allowing it to alter and Beyond Ecstasy is not a night of love story about a young prostitute alive. The Dj on the decks was mix- change in three years so it's still rel- polite entertainment, it's a night to trying to escape to London only to ing a blend of loud fast dance, the evant, funny and realistic. Conver- enjoy, relish and live. get drawn into a world of drugs. stage teeming with a visual display sations are unscripted and true to Matt Williams Nothing new there, I hear you say, of Acid House Cinema and cruising life, characters are reflective of nothing which has not been cov- lights-the play had not yet even those you see around you, and on- ered by the range of new plays in begun. As the lights faded two stage relationships are truly touch- the past few years looking at simi- dancers appeared on and the ing. Beyond Ecstasy lives and works lar aspects of society- Trainspot action began. off it's own upbringing and forma- ting or Shopping and Fucking. Throughout the performance tion. GAMES 25 March 1998

LIKE CAKE. BUT EASTER EGGS ARE NICE TOO.

GAMING NEWS AND PREVIEWS South Park is coming efforts (Street Fighter in particular Dune 2000 4's Peter Brackley and Ray Wilkins, was appalling). However, for the this is a serious contender for the Out 1 st May on PC, £40 The controversial cartoon show new Tomb Raider movie the pro- footy game crown. South Park is to become a video ducer of Boogie Nights has agreed An update of the 'father of the game. Acclaim have secured the to take control. Lawrence Gordon Command and Conquer genre', Star Trek: Secret of Vulcan license to develop a game for the has also worked on Die Hard and Dune 2000 is one of the most Fury PC and PlayStaion featuring the Predator, so action flicks are noth- eagerly awaited games this year. show's characters. ing new to him. With new 16-bit graphics, translu- Although Interplay have already The cartoon caused a storm of No news yet on who will play cent smoke and explosion lighting released two Trek-based point and protest when launched in the Lara, unfortunately. effects, this promises to be a click adventures, this one should states, as it features a group of great-looking game. be different. For a start all the young kids who haven't heard of Shrinking Street Fighters Once you've completed the 27 graphics are lovingly rendered and policial correctness and so merci- included missions, you can take on look stunningly like the TV series. lessley insult each other Capcom certainly haven't finished up to eight players via a LAN, or A vastly improved plot written constantly. The show itself will be milking the Street Fighters games play head-to-head over the by the show's original scriptwriters on Sky this easter, and on terres- yet. Pocket Fighters, based on the Internet. should hopefully lift it above previ- trial TV later this year. The game SF Puzzle game, features a simpli- ous efforts. isn't scheduled to hit shelves until fied control system (only 3 Chill 1999. buttons) and cutesey graphics. Out now on PlayStation, £35 It remains to be seen whether Lara Croft in the flesh the public will be impressed with From Eidos Interactive, Chill is a yet more derivative SF clones. new snowboarding game. It differs The dream of all sad, loney Tomb from the usual fare in an important Raider addicts is to meet Lara Croft aspect; The aim is not to win races in the flesh. All of you will be glad but to become the most 'chilled' to know that this is possible, as boarder on the slopes. Eidos have appointed french babe In practice this means a more Vanessa Demouy to be relaxed approach than simply rush- the official 'real ing to the next checkpoint, and Lara'. more importance given to per- Expect to see forming stunts and tricks. Prey her gracing adverts and magazine near World League Soccer Think you've seen all the Quake you soon... Out in May on PC and PlayStation clones you can stand? Then get ready for Prey. 3D Realms claim Tomb Raider Atari remembered Released to coincide with the start that it will be "at least two steps movie? of the World Cup, WLS features ahead" of everything else on the Hasbro now has the rights to over over 190 teams from 10 different market. Games based on 75 classic Atari games, and plans leagues, coveing all major soccer The key to this is the somewhat movies are com- to produce updated version. With worldwide. unique approach to reality taken by mon, although Hasbro's update of Frogger contin- A new 'skeletal' system of ani- the designers, with rooms being movies based uing to sell by the truckload, we mation provides fluid motion, and larger on the inside than out, and on games eagerly await new versions of the gameplay promises to recreate gravity changing sides occasion- are normally Centipede, Missile Command, the real 'flow' of a football game. ally. fairly poor Pong, Breakout, and Tempest. With commentary from Channel

REVIEWS

STAR WARS: MASTERS OF TERAS ICASI

Wars universe. At-at's clomp The only exception comes PlayStation around Hoth, swamp-things and with Luke. After about ten min- Yoda's hut loom out of the dark- utes of play it became obvious A Star Wars beat-em-up from ness on Dagoba - you get the idea. that by far the easiest way to win Lucas Arts? Bound to be a sure-fire Yet it's in the gameplay that the is to play as Luke, wip out your winner we cried. Unfortunately, we game really lets you down. All the lightsaber and slash the opposi- then took the game out of it's case, characters have only a couple of tion to pieces - so much so that inserted it into the blessed special moves (which are suspi- in two-player mode we had to Playstation and were deeply unim- ciously similar for several of them), ration out how many times we pressed with the result. and try as hard as I might, I could got to play the saintly one. What you get is a fairly slow, never get the blasters/crossbows to Lucas Arts - please stick to X- unimpressive beat-em-up, with work. For almost all the characters, Wing and the like, and stop Han, Luke, Leia et al shamelessly it basically descends into the tradi- following the path of the "shame- pasted in. The only nice touch tional frenzy of button bashing that less cash in". Come back Tekken, comes from the neat backgrounds I thought we'd finally seen the back all is forgiven representing the worlds of the Star of. David Roberts 25 March 1998 GAMES 41

REVIEWS

audio effects are pretty MYTHS : THE much what you would expect with background

si FALLEN LORDS bird twittering, speech and bang- ing, along with a vocal message PC every time a brave warrior gets hacked or blown up. Real time strategy games are . '-.MP'' Its the gameplay that courts everywhere. On the PC and and while it is addictive, it can get Playstation owners have lost whole very frustrating. Without the ability days and nights battling using an to build more units the game enemy using tanks, dragons and rapidly becomes one of trying to even the odd psychopathic female force a winning position tactically commando. rather than strategically. Sacrificing But a new generation of real units becomes much more risky time strategy games is about to hit with the loss of individuals rapidly the shore. These use a true 3-D turning fatal for the skirmish (con- representation of the battlefield stant restoring of saved positions rather than the pseudo 3-D views. being the norm). The method of In the vanguard for the fantasy selecting differing battlegroups is based games is Myths. Your view too slow, once a melee starts try- of the battlefield can be zoomed, ing to complete an ordered retreat BATTLEZONE polygon textures - The US 50's panned and rotated, but only as far becomes very difficult and costly. style nose paint and the USSR big as you have explored with your This aside it is a better than aver- PC *'/* red stars, and sprint about the troops. The graphics are impres- age game and will keep the screen (and this isn't even with 3- sive even on a basic PI 20, with electricity companies happy until Not another C&.C clone we all cry D acceleration). The audio side is blood and bits of body soon litter- the release of C&.C 2. - Well yes and no. It's a strategy fairly standard with radio instruc- ing the countryside and towns. The Gary Smith game that uses resource manage- tions and some gun noise being ment to build bases and wipe the the extent of play in this 90% COMPETITION enemy off the map - so yes. But complete version. The gameplay definitely no when it comes to the though is just excellent - with both gameplay and graphics. Insteadof single and now universal multiplay the standard view from above, network options. But it is the idea you walk and fight on the frontline that you can and should lead your while you order in AI allied units to forces into battles being the support, attack, defend and build. sponge, creamy interior and icing Just ignore the pseudo story about on the gameplay sponge cake. a 1960's hot war and it sounds a You can swap between vehicles winner. during a battle, bail out and snipe Running on a low end PC at the enemy pilots, capture (PI20) it looks nothing special, enemy vehicles. If they just tweak the polygons are quick, though the sound for the final release it is plain; it plays well and gets addic- going to be big. tive quite quickly - so don't start Gary Smith unless you have several hours spare. Taking it to a P200 with a We're proud to announce that as part of our Easter giveaway special decent (but not state of the art) you can win copies of the excellent PlayStation sports games Chill or graphics card and it just looks World League Soccer, (see facing page for previews). The lovely fluffy soooo good. The vehicles have bunnies at Edios Interactive have given us two copies of each game to give away to you lucky readers!

To win, simply write your name, department and e-mail address on a slip of paper and drop it into the Felix office, or e-mail [email protected]. The closing date is 8th April, and winners will be noti- fied via e-mail and be published in the first issue of next term. CROSSWORD 25 March 1998

ANSWERS TO 1 1 1

Jumbo Crossword Across: 7 Sacrificial lamb, 10 Demonstrate, 12 Sprain, 13 By Ed Sexton Ornately, 14 Crucify, 17 Unwinds, 19 Mantilla, 20 Tartan, 22 Red her- rings, 25 Non compos mentis Down: 1 Rave, 2 Or, 3 Mirthless, 4 Visa, 5 Bleep, 6 Cannabis, 8 Ignition, 9 Brandy glass, 10 Drop curtain, 11 Tsar, 14 Catalepsy, 15 Urethrae, 16 Awarding, 18 Dane, 21 Argot, 23 Dope, 24 Glib, 26 No

187 VIDEOS TO BE WON

Reviewed on page 35, 187 stars Samuel L Jackson as a high school teacher battling to teach in a system where gang violence is the norm. It is based on the true story of a teacher who was stabbed in his classroom but was determined to fight back and make a difer- ence. It has only just been released to rent on video, but thanks to Warner Home Video and Scope Ketchum Communications we have two copies to give to the first two entrants with the jumbo cross- word completed fully. As usual, just drop the crossword into the Felix office by the first Wednesday of next term to enter.

19 Girl's taking legal action (4) 20 Act and hers is down (8) 24 Rodent has dark and light bands (6) 26 Love affair started by Glen, half producing beauty (7) 29 Alongside and concerning shed (4) 30 Awful potash brings sadness (6) 62 Capture with what sounds like 32 Form of transport that's all ACROSS 31 Branching point done badly (4) ease - swing! (7) encompassing (7) 35 Eras that incite one, in confu- 63 Chaps in tents almost make a 33 Prohibited place in Asia (9,4) 4 Twin Peaks is the very best? (6) sion, to lift liner (5,3,7) dwelling-place (9) 34 Bad crabs make awful holder 10 Mad paper said 'vanish' (9) 39 Prohibit penny from poet (4) 64 One in anger of a ghost (6) (8) 40 Drink one thousand, and good 11 Massage the ache of a sprinter 36 And so nation, less five hun- book loses fifty (6) (7) dred, is found in city (3,7) 42 Divorce one Italian, perhaps 12 Perhaps she aims for a deliverer DOWN 37 Island thanks and greets it back (7) (10) (6) 44 Spanish Saint loses hundred on 1 Divert ship? No trouble! (6) 14 Bashful catch for moneylender? 38 To move aircraft and car (4) territory (8) 2 Room for straw? (7) (7) 40 Eluding mixed yield (7) 46 Bob's outside, hiding a French 3 South bite spot? (5) 16 Reserve reverse ring! (4) 41 Explained tanned oat, perhaps coin (3) 4 Awful ill rest on support (7) 17 Interesting point rotates (3) (9) 47 Perhaps if the taker,... (5) 5 Italian chaps play by the Bard 18 Large murderer in black and 43 Fortieth stone (4) 48 ...you, is French, Ray will reveal (3,3,9,2,6) white? (6,5) 45 Fabric is nothing in muddy area a big mouth! (7) 6 Over a dish? (5) 19 Part of wick to be snorted?! (5) (5) 51 Azo pie bad for parasites! (6) 7 Take choir hiding imitation (4) 21 Ali had modified plant (6) 49 Prime heaven? (7) 52 Price of joining? (5) 8 Guides metal step, perhaps (9) 22 Play with violent elements? (7) 50 Youthful Queen is more youth- 54 Rousseau and Dryden's aristo- 9 Scottish chemist in the hated, 23 Although Anabelle exposed the ful (7) crat fierce?! (5,6) awful, epidemic (3,5,5) country... (5) 53 Spin seventeenth Greek, losing 57 Signal long rod (3) 13 Boy and terrorist group mix in 25 ...Greg lost right to make female head initially, the gallery (6) 58 Insect one opposes (4) Egypt (10) product! (3) 55 According to code it's a local 60 Eventually, initial bloke ate issue 15 Sleep for each south fish (7) 27 Observe volume? (8) rule! (5) (7) 17 Underworld with nothing in 28 Narrow strip of forest for New 56 Fix me back with sleeper (5) 61 Spin sponge in fish? (7) way of greeting (5) Zealand all-rounder? (10) 59 journey in centre kayak (4) 25 March 1998 SPORT 43 M Sports Editorial Fencing Fun

Hullo me dearies. This plan is not new, every Last Saturday, four unguided, an hour; so we went down the pub. Well it seems that the hammer drill week members of certain sports novice fencers blundered down to Refreshed, we returned and, of history has once more been teams provide me with reports Reading to compete in the national under the sterling guidance of the plunged into quivering vicar's soaked in beer, presumably as part annual novice fencing tournament. manic Dr Dennis 'Don't be shy' abdomen of time and another term of some plan to get me drunk; The tournament began and Garriga-Majo, went on to win three is at an end. To celebrate this your Jeremy's current ordeal should, Imperial were up against Sussex; matches in a row with the alcoholi- beloved Felix has been imbued with however, make them a pause for despite 'Conan' style hacking and cally fuelled and aggressive Andrew a splash of colour. thought. slashing from the Sussex team the 'Doesn't hit girls' Schnoes wreaking Speaking of colour (watch this It cannot have escaped your match was won thanks to steady foil-like havoc with a succession of link) 1 must congratulate all those attention by now that I am writing defence and deadly accuracy from opponents. The final match was a who have been awarded College nonsense. This is due to a desper- John 'I'm glad she was knackered' tense decider which eventually colours (Look at that! Perfectly ate attempt to fill the two pages Claeys. went to Alex 'One pint won't hurt' seamless. Quality journalism that that I have been assigned. I must Despite this victory we went on Griffin, after which we realised that is). The achievements in '97 of the say that I am most disappointed by to lose our next three matches, we had in fact won the play-offs College's sports heroes have been the lack of articles for this, the last including our match against East and were the recipients of our very acknowledged. Of course I have no issue of term. 1 am sure that many Anglia A who incidentally went on own bottle of wine. doubt that for every person who of you were involved in sporting to win the tournament. After a final So Imperial returned semi-vic- received an award, there were contests, surely you can all have narrow defeat we were tired, torious, proving that you don't countless others equally deserving. lost under humiliating circum- pissed off and ready to go; howev- have to be part of any team to win To those people I offer my sympa- stances (ski team). er we were required to enter the and that alcohol definitely does not thies and can only remind them of Erm, sports. Must fill space, play-offs which were due to start in impair performance. the words of Mr James Brown; must concentrate on sports, must "I've got mine, who cares about his concentrate on tea, must concen- (or hers)." Congratulations must trate on hot, steaming tea. Ooh Felix would like to wish all of its go to Jenny Cox who won tea. Tea and biscuits, tea and Sportsperson of the Year and cakes, ooh cakes, lovely, sweet Charlie Joynt who was judged cakes. No not cakes, sport! Err ft,*.:, :: :p;; Sports Personality of the Year. sports, must focus, mustn't think : ; As anyone who pays any atten- of Boney M, mustn't think of Rah tion to the goings on in the Felix Rah Rasputin lover of the Russian sports pages (yes I know what queen, there was a cat who really you're thinking but just exercise was gone. Rah Rah Rasputin some willing suspension of disbe- Russia's greatest love machine, it lief) will be aware, this term marks was a shame how he carried on. the debut of both me and my jolly Arrrgh Sports! Must write about band of helpers. I would therefore sports, sports, not releasing like to thank the various sports anthrax into the London teams for being patient and under- Underground, laughing as people standing with me. For those of you make the journeys, little suspecting Sports who have not been patient and the tortured death that awaits understanding, a) Please disregard them, dancing with joy as the bod- the previous statement and b) why ies pile up like rotting pyramids of don't you bugger off and dive into death. That'll show them, always Centre the nearest sewer like the miser- talking about me, tripping me up, able vermin that you are. reading my brainwaves, they Whilst it pains me to touch on thought I didn't know, but 1 do and this subject, I feel that 1 must com- my vengeance shall be swift and ment upon the sad events involving terrible. If the answer is yes, you now have the perfect your friend and mine, Felix editor Well that little journey into my Jeremy Thomson. It is a terrible stream of consciousness seems to opportunity to do so at the Sports Centre. state of affairs that people are so have filled up some space, it only quick to pounce upon the misfor- remains for me to say that whilst I Martyn Kenton will coach students and staff in tunes of others for their own shall continue for as long as possi- amusement. For myself, I stand ble next term, at some point I shall all aspects of swimming, ranging from gaining four square behind Jeremy. I ask have to take the few paltry scraps confidence in the water to stroke technique. you to consider this, is it a crime to of information 1 have acquired over douse copies of Felix in illegal the last year and try to stick them drugs in an attempt to induce mass together in the hope that they A six week Saturday course commences as of hallucinations? Think about it. vaguely resemble a degree. Still I March 28th and is split into three groups. In a way I feel in somewhat have no doubt that my colleagues guilty for Jeremy's predicament. Dave and Niall shall prove them- When he told me of his desire for selves more than capable of filling Beginners (Non swimmers) people to appreciate Felix on a the vacuum that my departure shall Beginners II ( Can swim 15m unaided ) whole new level, I was very sup- create. portive. Of course 1 had no idea of War! Hurl Good God! What is it Improvers ( Can swim 100m unaided ) the lengths to which he was plan- good for? ning to go. Jacob. For full details please contact the Sports Centre reception on Ext 48964 SPORT 25 March 1998 Cup Win for Hockey Guns Climbers

ICUHC I v RHUL I and availability of substitutes This weekend saw the BUSA rifle became a factor, our domination match held in the earthly paradise Face Uphill Imagine a Tottenham vs Arsenal FA became awesome. Sid narrowed that is Sutton Coldfield. The uni- Cup Final. Now imagine Imperial vs the deficit to one goal and with two versity of London fielded a team of Royal Holloway. Having conceded minutes remaining, equalised eight, six of which hailed from Our BUSA cup place and the UL amongst scenes of euphoria when Imperial. Struggle cup to the scum and been called the vastly outnumbered IC crowd Many of the UL team achieved the underdogs by the match pro- more than matched the RHUL impressive scores, particularly The first competition to ever be gram, it was time for revenge. gathering for noise. Andrew 'Wildman' Eldridge, who attended by the Mountaineering The long match preparation started Extra time was thus necessary and was let in the team despite having Club and after keeping the oppo- with a relaxing stroll through the with the RHUL players standing on spread slanderous rumours about sition awake half the night with a trees, a warm up in some random their last legs, half the team should captain Gareth. didgeridoo we felt our chances cul-de-sac and some wise words in have had hat-tricks, but all decided Though tipped as favourites, the were good. On arriving, after a the dressing room. that penalties were a crueler end UL team only managed second, mammoth tour of Sheffield, the Then the game started. Within ten for the Holloway boys. with Edinburgh taking first place. teams chose their routes and set- minutes and two short corners we And so penalties were necessary. This was due mostly to one of the tled down. The first time period found ourselves 2-0 down. We With Big titties, Sid and Noddy all non-Imperial members shooting started only too quickly with Ruth continued to dominate the match, scoring convincingly and Red like an arse. and Nick getting off to a cracking enjoying virtually all the possession Helmet saving or outnerving the The English University men's team start, Ruth scoring a magnificent and with about ten minutes to go in holloway players, we won convinc- (two of whom were IC shooters) 1 14 points giving her a fantastic the first half, legendary skipper ingly 3-1. drew 1 156 ex 1200 with the 13th overall position. Chicken Bol skipped past his mark- Much alcohol was consumed, Scottish universities and the The next session saw Daffy er and placed the ball onto the many songs were sung and we English Universities women beat and Mike putting in sterling perfor- Fluffy Cherub's stick who neatly went to Southside to celebrate the Scots. mances, bagging 115 and 121 guided the ball into Sid the Sexist's apparently. Imperial scores (ex 200) points respectively. The final ses- path for him to place the ball into I'd like to thank all the players for a Rachael Ambrose - 191 sion saw Rich and Simon pitched the RHUL net. 2-1. brilliant season and my brother for Andrew Eldridge - 195 against some hardcore opposition After some inspirational half-time playing like shit. Gareth Hillier - 193 from the other university squads. deliberations, our hopes were ICUHC 13-3 RHUL I Phil Golds - 191 Both did exceptionally well getting quickly dented by another RHUL IC win 3 - 1 on penalties. Andy Forsyth - 183 136 and 140 points respectively, short corner goal. Then, as fitness Mike Eustace - 190 putting the 1st team into 21st position out of 45. (The second team was disqualified for not hav- And More ing a female member, how IC?) Overall a seminal performance with much for the guys and gal to be proud of, giving a solid basis Guns with which to continue with next year. Cool. The Imperial College Rifle and Pistol Club Ladies Team recently put in a sterling performance against the RSM Rifle Team. In this tight fought competition our team Results did us proud despite Neela, it's foremost member having inade- quate clavicle-scapular invagina- tion (I'm assured this is not what Hockey you might suspect - Ed). The ICUHC 13-3 RHUL women's team saw Impressive (Imperial win 3-1 on penalties) performances by both Sascha Football ICUHC I Celebrate their victorious cup performance. Klengel and Rickitina Anglerud, our ICUAFC 14-2 UCL I Swedish Blonde who's consistent ICUAFC II 1 - 3 LSE III performances have placed her at ICUAFC III 5 - 0 UCL IV 2nd in the ICRPC Duelling Ladder. ICUAFC III 1 - 0 Kings III More Guns? Not Half! Eventually RSM claimed the ICUAFC III 3 - 1 SOAS lead thanks to boy wonder Nick ICUAFC IV 2 - 0 Kings III Last Saturday, members of ICRPC impressive scores were recorded Royall who overcame his youth ICUAFC IV 2 - 3 SOAS ventured on to the frozen wastes and the day was most successful. and inexperience to put in a great ICUAFC V 0 - 2 UMDS II of Bisley to shoot for the Courtman Final scores were close but C &. performance that makes us believe ICUAFC V 1 - 1 UCL VI shield. This is an inter-CCU full G were adjudged to be the victors, that he could grow up to be a very ICUAFC VI 6 - 0 UMDS III bore rifle competition shot at 300 largely due to their superior num- useful shot. ICUAFC VI 0 - 2 UCL VII yards The teams' members ran the bers. We'd like to thank all those whole gamut of experiences from Thanks to Andrew for his self- who participated and wish The fair Note. ICUAFC VI look forward to old sweats to those who had never less coaching and also to all those Simone Parton good luck with her playing RSM II After their well shot full bore before. who proved themselves well skilled new diet program. deserved relegation. Scores were erratic due to the at the art of buttmarking. Ooh Final score strong and changeable winds blow- Matron! ICURPC Ladies 1173 - 1189 RSM. ing that day. Nevertheless some EDS iCU Imperial College

-ummer at Alexandra Palace Friday 19th June 1998 3-course dinner, drinks reception with string quartet, live band & disco, free travel to and from tlie event, Casino. £200 holiday voucher S^~~\ ifl (Courtesy of STA Travel) \ /7» Limousine ride lo the Ball £45 Students: £50 Staff & Alumni AVAILABLE FROM UNION OFFICE Dress: Formal Travel: Tree coach or by Hiitish Hail lo Alexandra Palace Station, then lake lt'-'i bus

http://www.suLJ.i4*. ac.uk/S ummer Ball/ Inquiries: In ion Office - 0171 o«>4 8060

NAME

ADDRESS

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I would like Student tickets @ £45 each I would like Staff/Alumni tickets @ £50 each (These tickets include vegetarian options & halal options)

] I will NOT be travelling on the free coach (please tick box) I enclose my cheque for the total sum of £ made payable to 'Imperial College Union'

Please send your reply slip & cheque to: Summer Ball. Imperial College Union. Beit Quad. Prince Consort Rd. London. SW7 2BB TRAVEL TRAVEL INSURANCE SERVICES LIMITED ROWAN HOUSE, 226 UNTHANK ROAD NORWICH NR2 2 A H ENGLAND TELEPHONE: 0 1 6 0 3 4 6 4 1 2 3 FACSIMILE: 0 1 6 0 3 4 6 4 1 2 4

E-Mail [email protected] Home Page http://www.westwind.co.uk/westwind/d-direct.html Student Travel News

In response to high prices charged to students, and to encourage safe and affordable travel, Dial-direct are introducing the New 1998 Student Varsity-Bond Travel Insurance Policy.

The 'Varsity-Bond' is not available through your travel shops. By-passing the travel agent enables the savings to pass direct to you. Just look at the savings buying direct can make Thinking of taking a year out?

12 months Varsity-Bond - Plus comprehensive cover Worldwide from Dial-Direct costs £286.00. Similar levels of cover through a student travel shop costs £572.00 (+100%)!!

In addition the low cost 'Adventures' option will cover you for a wide range of outdoor activities, from snow-boarding to scuba-diving, hang-gliding to white-water rafting. Examination re-sit is covered as standard.

The Varsity-Bond is renown for its outstanding value and provides all the essential protection required by students for World-Wide travel, plus 24 hour Medical Emergency Services on call 365-days a year by the team at International Assistance Services Ltd.

Your satisfaction is assured by our 14-day full-refund guarantee.

Please keep the enclosed application, and return free-post when you are ready to travel.

Yours faithfully,

Max Perry (Student Services)

* Discounts are available for group bookings *

DIAL DIRECT TRAVEL INSURANCE SERVICES LIMITED: REGISTERED IN ENGLAND AND WALES COMPANY CERTIFICATE No: 3136334 for STUDENTS - direct - from

NEW 1998 VARSITY BOND

STUDENT TRAVEL INSURANCE specially designed for Young and Independent Travellers departing from and returning to the United Kingdom

* UP TO 100% SAVING * EXAMINATION RE-SIT COVER * COVER FROM 1 DAY TO 1 YEAR * VARSITY OR VARSITY PLUS - 2 LEVELS OF COVER * AGE LIMITED TO 44 YEARS

* 24-HOUR EMERGENCY ASSISTANCE - 365 DAYS A YEAR * GROUP DISCOUNTS AVAILABLE * 'ADVENTURE' / ACTIVITY OPTION * 14 DAY REFUND GUARANTEE "DON'T LEAVE HOME WITHOUT IT"

supplied by DIAL - direct TRAVEL INSURANCE SERVICES LIMITED TEL: (01603) 464123 FAX: (01603) 464124 UNDERWRITTEN THROUGH ALL SEASONS UNDERWRITING AGENCIES LTD.

ON BEHALF OF CERTAIN UNDERWRITERS AT LLOYD'S BENEFITS AND SUMS INSURED VARSITY VARSITY PLUS

MEDICAL AND OTHER EXPENSES If you fall ill or have an accident while abroad, or have to return to the UK due to illness, injury or death, the E2 £5 cost will be high. Varsity Bond will cover you for: MILLION * Your medical bills, hospital and ambulance charges, including emergency dental treatment for pain relief. MILLION * Any additional costs of returning you to the UK, including the use of an Air Ambulance if medically required. * The costs of a relative or friend, or qualified medical attendant to escort you home.

PERSONAL LIABILITY £2 £2 You will be covered for your legal liability if you should accidentally injure other persons or damage their MILLION MILLION property.

LEGAL EXPENSES We will pay for legal costs and expenses to pursue compensation arising from your injury or death while £5,000 £10,000 abroad.

DEATH BY ACCIDENT £10,000 £10,000

PERMANENT DISABLEMENT £10,000 £10,000 Cover is provided for loss of limbs and eyes resulting from an accident. HOSPITAL COMPENSATION £500 £500 As well as paying the main medical costs, we will pay you additional costs during your hospital confinement. LOSS OF DEPOSIT CANCELLATION CURTAILMENT RE-SIT EXAMINATIONS DUE TO EXAM FAILURE There are many factors outside your control which could force you to cancel or cut short your trip. The Varsity Bond policy will cover the travel and accommodation expenses that you are liable to pay or have already paid due to: £1,500 £1,500 * The illness, accident or death, including hospitalisation of yourself or a close relative, travelling companion, or person with whom you have arranged to stay. * You being required to attend an examination or you failing an examination (University or equivalent) and being required to re-sit the examination as a result of which you have to cancel your trip. * All reasonable additional travelling expenses returning you to your UK address due to serious illness, severe injury or death of a relative or close business associate.

MISSED DEPARTURE If you miss your pre-booked outward or return flight, ferry, coach or train as a result of accident or mechanical £800 £800 breakdown of your transport, the insurance will cover the additional costs of alternative travel and accommodation.

TRAVEL DELAY You will be compensated by £20 for the first full 12 hours, and £10 for each subsequent 12 hours during your delay. £100 £100 You also have the choice to cancel your trip if the delay in the UK exceeds 24 hours and be reimbursed for all irrecoverable costs. PERSONAL LUGGAGE Damage or loss to luggage and personal effects is a constant risk while you are travelling. The insurance £1,250 will compensate you up to £250 for a single article.

LUGGAGE DELAY If your luggage does not arrive within 12 hours on your outward destination, you will be compensated for £100 necessary purchases - including the hire of essential leisure equipment. MONEY AND TRAVEL DOCUMENTS We will help defray the theft or loss of money, travellers cheques and credit cards. The limit for cash is £200. £500 (£100 for under 16) If you lose your passport, tickets or travel documents while abroad, we will pay for the reasonable cost of obtaining a replacement.

PASSPORT £200 £200

HIIACK BENEFIT £500

MUGGING BENEFIT £250

24 HOUR EMERGENCY ASSISTANCE - 365 DAYS A YEAR Both the 'Varsity' and Varsity Plus have the facility of emergency services provided by International Assistance Services Ltd who will provide: * Multi-lingual assistance with Hospitals and Doctors * Repatriation arrangements and necessary escorts by a medical attendant. * Travel arrangements for other members of your party, or next of kin. * On arrival in the United Kingdom, an ambulance service to hospital or home. MONEY BACK GUARANTEE

If when you have received your certificate, you decide that the cover does not suit your requirements, and provided that no claims have been made or travel undertaken, you may return it within 14 days of purchase to obtain a full refund. Please note that the summary of cover is intended as a guide only. We recommend that you carefully read and fully understand the policy which will be issued to you once your proposal has been accepted. The policy will contain various terms, conditions, exclusions, limits and excesses.

ADVENTURES OPTION

Hazardous Activities may be covered by an additional payment to include: Canoeing, cycling, deep sea fishing, dinghy sailing, hang gliding, scuba/skin diving, horse-riding, winter sports, trekking, wind surfing, rock climbing, mountain biking, mountaineering, para-gliding, sailing, surfing, water skiing and Whitewater rafting.

The Varsity and Varsity Plus AREA OF EUROPE Australia/N. Zealand WORLDWIDE TRAVEL

Varsity Varsity Varsity Varsity Varsity Varsity Plus Plus Plus

0 - 5 Days £7.95 £10.50 £14.00 £16.00 £15.00 £17.50 6-10 Days £9.80 £12.50 £16.00 £20.00 £18.00 £23.00 11 -17 Days £12.50 £14.00 £19.80 £24.00 £23.00 £27.00 18-24 Days £14.00 £16.00 £24.00 £29.00 £26.00 £32.00 25 - 31 Days £15.50 £18.00 £27.00 £33.00 £29.00 £35.00 Up to 6 Weeks £20.50 £24.00 £38.00 £46.00 £42.00 £49.50 Up to 2 Months £24.00 £28.00 £46.00 £54.00 £49.00 £59.00 Up to 3 Months £38.00 £45.00 £64.00 £75.00 £68.00 £87.00 Up to 4 Months £48.00 £56.00 £79.00 £98.00 £89.00 £109.00 Up to 5 Months £59.00 £69.00 £94.00 £116.00 £106.00 £126.00 Up to 6 Months £71.00 £84.00 £107.00 £130.00 £119.00 £148.00 Up to 7 Months £82.00 £96.00 £127.00 £149.00 £144.00 £175.00 Up to 8 Months £95.00 £112.00 £134.00 £158.00 £168.00 £199.00 Up to 9 Months £106.00 £125.00 £154.00 £179.00 £188.00 £228.00 Up to 10 Months £119.00 £139.00 £161.00 £189.00 £206.00 £248.00 Up to 11 Months £129.00 £149.00 £179.00 £209.00 £218.00 £270.00 Up to 12 Months £142.00 £168.00 £189.00 £219.00 £229.00 £286.00

Age limited to 44 years at date of departure. Travellers under 16 at date of departure, half price if accompanied

Age under 2 at age of departure, free. by insured adult. Carefully choose the level of protection you require i.e. Varsity or Varsity Plus. Select the areas to be visited, apply the highest premium if several areas are being visited. Select the total duration of your visit (maximum 12 months). Add 'Adventures' premium if required. APPLICATION Application from resident foreign students studying in the UK will be considered, but repatriation will be back to the UK and not to the country of origin. PLEASE USE BLOCK CAPITALS Complete your application in BLOCK CAPITALS PLEASE and return together with your premium to the FREEPOST address below. OR FOR IMMEDIATE COVER - PHONE 01603-464123 with your credit card details

NAMES OF ALL PERSONS TO BE INSURED AGE AT DEPARTURE DATE VARSITY OR (PLEASE TICK AGE BAND BOX TITLE INITIAL SURNAME UNDER 2 2-15 (FREE) > PRICE) 16-44 PREMIUM VARSITY PLUS A tick for Varsity will delete cover for luggage and money. ADVENTURE/ACTIVITY GEOGRAPHICAL AREAS 1. EUROPE

F0R 2. AUSTRALIA/N.ZEALAND

0-3 M0NTHS 'ADVENTURES' STAY ADD £24.00 3. WORLDWIDE OPTIONS FOR 4-12 MONTHS STAY ADD £37.00 PERIOD OF INSURANCE ADDRESS OF FIRST NAMED INSURED PERSON TOTAL £ DAYS/MONTHS

DATE DEPARTING U.K. POST PHONE CODE NO. / / WARRANTY - This insurance is subject to the warranty that all travellers are fit MY CHEQUE FOR £ is enclosed. and well, and no travel will be made or undertaken (PAYABLE TO DIAL-DIRECT TRAVEL INSURANCE SERVICES LIMITED) 1. Against medical advice 2. After a terminal prognosis has been diagnosed

I | PLEASE DEBIT MY VISA/ACCESS CARD £ 3- wi,n ,ne intention of receiving medical attention abroad EXPIRY DATE I NAME OF CARD HOLDER

FOR OFFICE USE SWITCH ADDRESS See ISSUE No SIGNATURE DATE

DIAL DIRECT TRAVEL INSURANCE SERVICES LIMITED ABCDEFGHIJ FREEPOST ANG4027, 226 UNTHANK ROAD, NORWICH NR2 2BR