Felix Issue 1103, 1998
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ACTION PACKED JUMBO CROSSWORD Eleven Pages of Win 187 Videos Features Hall Rooms Raided NEWS TEAM there's a sudden increase and I the police are now co-operating to want to see some action taken to investigate the crimes. Residents of Bernard Sunley rectify the situation... It's a mys- The investigators currently House in Evelyn Gardens have tery why it's happening, no master have very little evidence to work been hit by spate of mystery keys are missing." on, although the police are thought thefts, including four robberies Concern has also been raised to have been examining finger- in the last week alone. over the level of security cover for prints in the area. Meanwhile, stu- Problems started last term Evelyn Gardens, after the security dents in the hall are becoming when a student had a laptop com- lodge was closed for financial rea- increasingly worried about puter stolen from a locked room sons last year. Ken Weir, IC's Chief strangers having access to their during renovation work. The inci- Security Officer, denied that this rooms, with one resident seriously dents of theft have increased since was a factor; "Not for one minute considering leaving. "The place I'm then and items swiped include a would it have made any differ- living is dingy, small, has poor walkman, a playstation, a cash box ence", he argued, adding that the security and generally sucks", Felix and around £1000 worth of photo- layout of the halls made standard was told. graphic equipment. Property has security patrols ineffective. "The Anyone noticing any suspicious also disappeared from the war- thieves can simply target the build- person is encouraged to make a den's and subwarden's flats. All ing that the security officer has just detailed description and inform the rooms are thought to have left." Mr Dashwood disagreed, security on 58900. If a confronta- been locked, and there were no opining "I honestly believe that a tion occurs, or if a thief is actually signs of forced entry. Richard [security] man on site does act as caught in the act, call 999 and then Dashwood, the warden of the hall, a deterrent". He went on to alert security. explained that "I can't think of any explain that he had 'blitzed' the incidents at Bernard Sunley this relevant parties, and that Security, year or the year before, but now the Accommodation Office and Felix Editor Arrested in Inside, Drugs Scandal GRAND PRIX DRINKING GAME Double the fun or your money JONATHAN TROUT second staple head. Editor elect, back PaSe 12 Mr Edward Sexton took control of Felix has been cast into disarray the publication following an emer- HELP! and anarchy following the shock gency meeting with ICU represen- Starving? Depressed? Homeless? arrest of its editor Mr Jeremy tatives. It later emerged that Mr Miss your mummy? These men Thomson. Police entered the Sexton himself may be implicated are here to help P^Se '3 newspaper's office in the North in the stunt, having admitted that West corner of Beit Quad late on he stole a Gilson pipette from the RAG IN PICTURES Monday evening and found Mr Biology department for Thomson More nakedness that you can Thomson at his last week. "It was a shake a five pound note at The desk. To the favour for a friend, I page 14 Students' amazement of the had no idea that it COURTNEY PINE assembled student would be used for The undisputed King of British Newspaper journalists, he was illegal purposes", Jazz jams with Felix. Mmm - nice at Imperial detained and explained Mr page 16 charged with the Sexton. Andy ANNUAL EASTER EGG GUIDE College supply of large Thompson, manag- Waste your money and rot your quantities of er of the ICU Print teeth with this esoteric twaddle Lysergic Acid Unit, told Felix that page 18 Diethylamide "It's absolutely LUCID DREAMING Issue (LSD), a class A nothing to do with How to fly, time-travel and sleep drug. me." with Winona Ryder all in the same Thomson is A cross marks the spot; the It is not known night page 20 believed to have alleged location of the drug dot what motivated the 25 March personally placed a editor to engineer MAN OF COLOURS 19 98 small "microdot" of the substance the crime, but the pressures of the Jo Public talks with the great on the cover of all 4,500 copies of Adam F page 32 the Friday 1 3 March issue using the continues on page two NEWS 25 March 1998 ICU Ex-Pres was IRA Man's Lover SABBATICAL IN DRUGS ARREST All CAMPBELL tion officer, was apparently The police got their first major from front page stunned by the verdict, after giv- lead on the bombing when they job may have been a factor, with The lover of an ex-President of ing evidence that completely were contacted by Colin Garneys, eighty-hour weeks a common Imperial College Union has been backed Gallagher's defence. The a businessman whose suspicions occurrence. According to a source jailed after the discovery of his former IC student was born in had been aroused by the close to the accused, the ploy may involvement in IRA activities, Walsall in the West Midlands and bomber's activities. Gallagher had have been inspired by the Oxford including a mortar attack on joined the Young Communist been renting a lockup garage for University student newspaper Heathrow Airport, several months from Mr. Cherwell which last year attached a according to an article in Garneys under a false number of cannabis seeds to each the Daily Mail newspa- name. The police subse- issue. per. quently bugged the rental Details have yet to emerge on The article, printed in company's phone line, and the possible implications for the the 25 February edition of | thus began a two-year editor and indeed the newspaper the publication, was head- surveillance operation. itself, but the student contributors lined, "The middle-class Gallagher's conversations were said to be bewildered by the academic's love for IRA were also monitored at the news. One writer said: "It's terrible; bomber". BMp former ICU President's it was difficult enough to get every- The bombing took house, where the couple thing finished on time even with the place in March 1994, dur- Oyp lived. support and guidance of a full-time ing which twelve explosive iijiijl Michael Gallagher's sabbatical officer. Eddie is coping missiles were fired at the HMp defence relied heavily on admirably, but I hope for Jeremy's airport. Many shells land- ' his assertion that his activi- sake, and for the sake of the paper, ed in potentially lethal :s around London con that these allegations prove to be locations, including some HBj - isted solely for the pur- false." It remains to be seen devices that landed on the pose of gathering material whether Mr Thomson will be avail- roof of busy Terminal 4 for a novel. Despite back- able to compete his duties next and others that fell close ing from his girlfriend, the term. However, it is expected that to passenger planes. Mary Attenborough on winning the 1978 prosecution stressed that he will be granted bail by today. Luckily all the bombs failed presidential election there was no evidence sug- While it is still not known if the to explode. Photo: Felix Archive gesting she knew anything accusations are true, anyone in Michael Gallagher, the about his IRA involvement, possession of a copy of Felix 1111 fifty-five year old protagonist, was League when still at school, going and the bomber was sentenced, is advised to surrender it to any of convicted of conspiring to cause on to study mathematical physics by to twenty years' imprisonment. the Imperial College Security explosions by a jury majority of at Imperial College. Elected lodges. Under no circumstances eleven to one. His girlfriend, President of Imperial College should any attempt to ingest the forty-three year old Dr. Mary Union for the academic year cover be made, as the quantities of Attenborough, the daughter of a 1978-79, she subsequently lec- any drug that may be present are retired local government educa- tured at South Bank University. unknown and could be hazardous. End of the Road for Bo and Jez? TONY OFORI held tomorrow, a final decision will plan to eliminate all sources of (Jezebel the fire-engine) and RSMU be made by Union Council on Union funding succeeds. In some (Clem the truck), and are thought Several societies could face whether Artsoc will have their bud- cases this will mean losses of to be enormously valuable due to severe cuts in their budgets fol- get cut from £1500 to £200. This £2000 - money that is of para- their old age and good condition. lowing Union Finance Council will mean that money for perfor- mount importance in the up-keep James Watts, the motor club chair- (UFC) proposals. mance tickets will have to be of the vehicles. With such cuts the man for RCS, argues that if they are The intention is that the motor clubs left to ruin or sold because of a lack motorised mascots societies for other sources for the con- of money that it can only be to the the RSMU, RCSU and C&.GU as well than the stituent col- detriment of the University. The as the ICU Art Society will receive Union. The eges may mascots are "a long standing part virtually no subsidy from the Union reasoning become of college history" that travel up next year.