Brenda’s

ESSENTIALS:^ ^ ^ How to Look Fantastic In Your 40s, 50s and Beyond

THE BRENDA shorts

BrendaBrenda KinselKinsel punch and save! Sophia Loren, Catherine Deneuve, Sarah Jessica Parker, Vivica A. Fox, Helen Mirren, Ellen Barkin. What do these women have in common? They are all women of style, beauty and confidence.

What makes a woman look so radiant? She’s radiant when she displays her beauty, inside and out.

All women in their 40s, 50s, 60s or beyond have what it takes to enjoy style and the confidence that comes with it.

Yet so many women reach a new decade and start giving up. They give up on fashion and beauty and let their style expire.

What if I told you it’s easier to enjoy these things than you think? In fact, your most fashionable, confident years may be in front of you. In this Brenda Short, discover many easy tools to look great and enjoy your age.

The Brenda Shorts 2 Schedule Your Updates

1. Put your feet first. Time to make a serious edit of shoes that hurt your feet. Otherwise, it’s all you think about: pain, pinching, pressure. A client was so relieved when we did a serious edit of her shoes. We had a “no excuses” purging session. Anything that hurt left her closet no matter how cute they were. When a shoe fits your arch and gives you room in the toe box, you’ll be swooning with delight. As in all things that come in sizes, when you’re shopping for shoes, ignore the numbers and go for the best fit. Be willing to pay more for shoes than you ever used to.

2. Create a strategy for shopping. If you dread shopping, break it into baby steps. Do you want to buy a sweater? Don’t try on one or two; try on twelve of them. Sure, that could seem overwhelming to someone who doesn’t like to shop but turn it into a game. Which sweater will be the last one standing? Which sweater will win the sweater competition? Create a yes/ no/maybe pile and review at the end. If you have someone with you whose opinion you trust, let them vote too. Reason out your choices. You may end up buying more than one because you’ve surprised yourself and found sweaters that will serve you in different ways. It’s much more satisfying to walk out of the dressing room with items you’re already really fond of and not something you bought by default or because you lost patience.

3. Change your focus. When your weight rearranges itself, don’t hold out hope that it’s going to snap back to the way it was anytime soon. Accept change. Maybe the you used to define with belts has disappeared. That’s okay! Shift your focus away from defining your waist and move the

The Brenda Shorts 3 attention somewhere else. Use pendants, necklaces, scarves, earrings or rings to bring attention to your face, neck, chest or hands. Discover new areas to accentuate.

Create Buzz

4. “You’re glowing! Did you just get back from a spa vacation?” Wearing colors that repeat your skin tone, especially in lustrous fabrics, will give you a dewy, radiant glow. Your skin will look fabulous! Depending on

your skin tone that could mean wearing honey tones, caramel, tan, powder puff pink, or peachy colors. Skin tone colors can make you look beautiful, pretty, feminine, serene and quietly powerful.

5. “She looks so refreshed! Do you think she’s had her eyes done?” Look like you’ve had your eyes done by getting your eyebrows shaped. Make your eyes brighter and more open by applying makeup products that have a touch of sheen to them. Wearing jewelry that brings light to the face will make you look like you just had an expensive skin treatment. Consider wearing pearls, necklaces with sparkly semi-precious stones, or diamonds.

6. “My gosh, you’ve lost 10 pounds!” Be strategic about wearing matte fabrics and shiny ones. Wear fabrics that are matte, not shiny, on those parts of your body that you don’t want to recede or seem slimmer. Wearing a matte fabric over a large bust is a better choice if you want that area to look slimmer. A shiny over your bustline could make your breasts look fuller. If hips and thighs were areas you’d rather not bring more attention to, use dark colors with dull finishes in . This simple step of managing the

The Brenda Shorts 4 fabrics and colors you wear on the different parts of your body will have you looking thinner instantly.

Shine On

7. Don’t be invisible. Women over 50 can stand to add some brilliance to their appearance. Look at an item you might wear a lot, like a leather jacket or a trench coat, and find it in a pearlized finish. Wearing a piece of outerwear in a color other than black or brown can bring more excitement to your look. Consider a coat in lilac, pink, baby blue, dove gray, turquoise or coral.

8. Handbags that have shine bring light to your appearance. Patent leather is excellent, either smooth or in a crinkled texture. Metallic colors are great as well. If you wear mostly cool metals in your jewelry, go for a silver or gunmetal metallic bag. If you wear primarily gold jewelry, look for a bag in a gold or copper metallic.

9. Look no further than the hair on your head for a place to add shine. Ask your colorist about gels that will coat your hair and give it a glistening luster that will last for weeks. If your hair is gray, there are shampoos and finishing products that will make your hair look brighter.

Two Layers Are Better Than One

10. Layer pashminas in different colors. Buy two pashminas that are the same size and weight and put them together as one. When you put them over

The Brenda Shorts 5 your shoulders, you decide which color goes on the inside and which color you want for the outside. The color combinations add much more interest to your outfit than if you wore just one color at a time. Try some of these combos: chocolate brown/turquoise; coral/lime green; black/white; midnight navy/copper; petal pink/dove gray; wine/eggplant; navy/black; red/orange.

11. Layer shapewear. Movie stars do this all the time to look great all over when wearing slinky on the Red Carpet. Shapewear smoothes lines and allows clothes to glide over your body more effortlessly. For instance, wear a hi-Capri shaper (one that goes from your calves to just under your bust) and then add a for an extra slender silhouette. If you have a specific need for a shaper, bring the outfit you’re planning to wear over the shapewear. Try different pieces to get the smooth strategic lines you want. While in the dressing room, assemble the whole outfit with the shapewear and look at yourself in a 3-way mirror. When you’re happy with the results, make your purchase. Getting the right shapewear for one outfit will make lots of other outfits look great too.

12. Layer lipsticks. Mixing two lipstick colors gives dimension to the color and helps control intensity. If a lipstick color appears too bright on its own, try using a neutral color underneath to tone it down. You could shade in your lips with a nude lipliner as a first layer and add lipstick color on top. One colleague plays with colors every time she reapplies her lipstick. She carries a few with her and has fun all day, mixing up her colors.

The Brenda Shorts 6 Say “Yes!” To That Last Minute Party Invitation

13. Get “dressed up” in five minutes. Let’s say you get a last minute invitation to sit next to your favorite movie actor at the opening night of your local film festival. Here are three items to stock your closet for instant glamour: a sexy top or a very feminine blouse; a sexy pant such as black lace, satin or a tuxedo pant; a grand entrance coat in metallic, satin, lace, or brocade.

14. Prints are party friends. A beautiful print blouse in a silk charmeuse fabric says “Party!” If it’s colorful, all the better. Look for graphic prints that could be mistaken for a piece of modern art. A tasteful leopard print blouse would work as well. If pants are really flattering on you, you could wear an animal print pant or a pant in a bold color.

15. Stock some dressy accessories. Some things to have on hand: long dangly earrings, open-toed shoes, patent heels in red, sparkly handbags, and a with metallic threads, beads or embroidery. Pick and choose what you want to use at the last minute.

What Every Woman Needs, Or Not

16. The Little Black . Every fashion resource says you need an LBD, the little black dress. True or false? False. Some women look haggard when they wear black. It’s just not their color. Some women couldn’t find a dress to fit them properly if they shopped every Saturday of the month. Separates may work best for them. If an LBD doesn’t work for you, find alternate outfits

The Brenda Shorts 7 that will take you anywhere, whether it’s a non-black dress or separates that look fabulous together such as a and sweater or a pant and silky, feminine blouse. The outfit could be in navy blue, chocolate brown, a metallic gunmetal color, or any neutral color other than black. The idea of a little black dress is to have something you can dress up or down to fit multiple occasions. Find what that is for you.

17. Outfits that will take you from day to night. I hear it all the time: “I want an outfit that I can wear to the office and then go to my kid’s soccer

game and then out to dinner with friends. I don’t want to change clothes during the day. Just give me something that will work for all of it.” Do you eat oatmeal for breakfast, lunch, and dinner? Do you send the same greeting card for birthdays, hospital stays and weddings? No, you don’t. Honor the people you are with by dressing for the occasion. If that means bringing a different blouse, jacket, accessories or a handbag with you so you can change your look at 5 o’clock, then do it. Take two minutes to think about it the night before. You’ll feel better about yourself and the people in your surroundings will appreciate that you were considerate of their gathering and dressed for it.

18. Coco Chanel said, “True elegance consists not in having a closet bursting with clothes, but rather in having a few well- chosen numbers in which one feels totally at ease.” I mostly agree with her, but I realize that some people need more variety and choices than others. You may be a natural collector and enjoy having more things around you. That’s perfectly okay!

The Brenda Shorts 8 Skimp, So You Can Splurge

19. Skimp on anything in the color black. No color looks as handsome as this one in lower priced items. Black pants, black trench coats, or black cocktail dresses can look more expensive than they are if the style you and the fit is great. Spend less on those basic black clothing pieces and then splurge on the colorful shoes, handbag or shawl you’ll wear with them. The quality accessories will lift the look of the whole outfit.

20. Splurge on items that won’t be seen much like tanks or . This might seem like an odd place to spend the big bucks, but it is one of those items that when it’s right, it makes a huge difference! One client needed a with a specific neckline in a nude color that she could wear under her expensive and great looking designer wrap blouse. The one we found was perfect and pricey. I encouraged her to buy it. It turned out that the fit and comfort of that camisole was so fantastic that she wore it with many other items. It was worth every dollar.

21. Splurge on the ‘basic’ that looks best on you. Are you a trouser woman? Do they look fabulous on you? Then buy one of the best quality you can afford. Is a sheath dress your go-to item? Be willing to pay the big bucks for the one with exceptional fabric and workmanship that fits and flatters you like crazy. You’ll see the difference in the price tag, but more importantly, you’ll see the difference in the mirror. If you’re a sporty, casual woman, your splurge items might be your premium jeans and high-quality t-shirts.

The Brenda Shorts 9 When A Bargain Isn’t A Bargain

22. When it creates more problems than it solves. Check this out: you introduce a new color to your wardrobe, and suddenly you need five more items to make one thing work. If we’re talking about a color that flatters you like crazy, it can be worth the investment to purchase the extra items. But if you’re not that wild about the color in the first place, forget it. Invest in quality items that will work immediately.

23. It fits . . . almost! Have you bought something that was too tight and said, “That’s okay, I’ll just lose five pounds.” Nobody just “loses five pounds” anymore without a lifestyle change and we know how much time, effort, and focus that takes. Don’t put your beauty or style on hold. Having items hanging in your closet in teaser sizes that you can’t wear is an investment in the future, which may or may not arrive. If it does arrive in a few years, you may not even like those clothes anymore. Discipline yourself to shop for and buy clothes that fit the body you are currently in.

24. It’s a Gucci, Prada or a Chloe and it’s on sale! Stop gushing over the label and take a good hard look at the piece. Does it fit? Does it flatter your figure? Can you wear it with something this very afternoon? Don’t think that just because it has a designer label, it will buy you instant style. I’ve been in a client’s closet filled with designer pieces purchased on sale, and the tags are still on them. They were unsuitable to her lifestyle or didn’t go with anything she had. That’s not a bargain. Here are signs of a good bargain: You love it, you have things to go with it, or it’s super useful for the next season coming up.

The Brenda Shorts 10 Creating An Edge

25. It’s okay to exaggerate. With every new glorious decade, we come to, our fashion chapter changes. At around 55 or 60, I’d say we enter our “striking” chapter. We’re finally saying with confidence, “This is who I am!” We want to be visible and noticed not for the amount of skin we’re showing, but for who we are, who we’ve become. One way to be more visible is to exaggerate something. Wear something more substantial in scale than you used to. Try a bigger handbag, two or three bracelets on your wrist instead of one, bigger sunglasses, a fuller shawl. Increasing the scale of an item will make you look grand and important, which you are.

26. Mix soft things with hard things. Gravity is already taking a swing at us so fight back by adding items to your ensemble that have actual edges and definition. If you’re wearing flowy fabrics, be sure to add strong jewelry, a belt or a handbag with some structure. Wear a jacket that defines your waist when you’re wearing loose, wide-legged trousers. If you favor loose tops, contrast them with a slim pant or skirt.

27. Put definition on your face. Make sure there are defined lines on your face. Fill in those eyebrows with powder and a slanted brush after you’ve had them shaped by a professional makeup artist. Moving to your lips, blend in some concealer around your lips to cut down on bleeding lipstick. Be sure your haircut is well shaped for your face. If you wear glasses, use the opportunity to create uplifting lines on your face by choosing frames that bring the attention to your eyes, not your cheeks. You’ll also get uplift if the temples have an exciting design to them. Don’t be afraid to go for frames in a

The Brenda Shorts 11 bold color or interesting texture

Cheer Up

28. Find renewal. Everyone needs to feel uplifted when it’s rained for thirty days, or it’s thirty degrees below zero outside, or we’ve hit some difficult emotional patches in life. Color can lift your spirits. On a shopping trip, my client Katherine slipped into a blouse in a tone she hadn’t worn before. It was a deep purple. She felt vibrant! Another client tried on a bright yellow jacket and was shocked at how great it looked on her. Just working new colors in clothing or accessories and pulling them into your existing wardrobe can give you a lift until the sun comes out again.

29. Feel good from the inside out. Meet my client, Karen. For the first time in her life, she indulged her senses when she bought really gorgeous lace-trimmed camisoles with beautiful matching undies. She’s delighted all day long by the very thought of that beautiful underwear under her clothes. It was a feel-good investment that pays off every single day.

30. Buy a signature piece. Do you have an accessory that could be your signature? My client, Kate, fell in love with a necklace that repeated the jade green color of her eyes. Because the necklace is repeating her eye color, she can wear it with everything. It’s her signature piece. A colleague, Diane, gets enormous pleasure out of wearing three bracelets that she loves. Wearing all three of them every day is her signature. Every time she looks down at her wrist, she’s happy just thinking about when she bought them. What could be your signature piece that brings you pleasure every day?

The Brenda Shorts 12 Looking Thin Is Easier Than Being Thin

31. Looking put together makes you look slimmer. If you’re holding off buying clothes because you’re on a weight loss program, remember that many things are easy to fit no matter what size you are. More importantly, these are items that create a put together look, which in itself is slimming. When people see you put together, they are traveling up and down your body, taking in all the great details. Their up and down gaze is vertical, and we all know that vertical lines are slimming. Consider using these items to get your put together look: sexy shoes, handbags, rings, earrings, scarves, bangles, necklaces, and glasses. Instead of hiding out, let people in to enjoy your great look. The compliments you receive will cheer you on.

32. Big tummy? Add a belt! This is so counterintuitive, but I asked a client of mine who is widest around her waist to invest in a couple of belts. Why? Because by adding a belt over a sleeveless microfiber tank and then adding a pretty blouse as a third piece, the visual width of her waist is cut by more than half. This gives her the illusion of a waistline while also putting her look together in a more polished way. Anytime you have a head to toe put together look, the attention is going up and down your body, not across your body.

33. Lift your bustline to create more space. Being in the wrong size could be letting the girls down. The right bra can lift your bustline by at least an inch or more, which gives you more space between your bustline and waistline. You’ll feel taller and leaner in a bra that stretches that area out.

The Brenda Shorts 13 Use Lists

34. Write out your style recipe. Do your homework at the beginning of a season and hone in on the up-to-date list of words that describe your current style. Carry this list in your wallet and use it when you’re in the dressing room. Pull out your style recipe words and ask yourself if these clothes you’re looking at in the dressing room mirror fit your recipe? If they don’t, put them back and pull in some other clothes from the floor and try again. Make a promise to yourself to only come home with clothes that support your current style.

35. Keep a list near your dressing area to capture your “To Buy” items. And then keep a duplicate list in your purse or on your phone. A put-together look requires several pieces to make it look that way from the correct foundations to the right accessories. Keep a shopping list going for needed items. The next time the doctor’s appointment runs shorter than you planned, the kids are over at a friend’s house, or a dinner date gets canceled, you can run over and do some efficient shopping. Handle these must-haves, and you’ll have more opportunities to wear and enjoy your great, completed outfits.

36. Write down your favorite style names and numbers. Have you ever tried to read the style number on your favorite bra once it’s been laundered dozens of times? You want to replace it and you would if you could read the faded out numbers. Put the style number and size in the notes section on your phone or a piece of paper in your wallet when you first buy

The Brenda Shorts 14 these items. A master list of your essentials – brands, style names, sizes – is better written down than carried around in your head.

Break The Old Rules

37. “If you’re over 50, it’s time for a short haircut.” This is just not true. You can wear your hair at any length. The most important thing is to pay attention to your hair color and cut. There are so many great finishing products that can assist you in having your best look yet. Healthy-looking hair is one of your best features.

38. “Don’t mix fabrics, certainly not colors!” This is what Lee’s mother hammered into her, but of course, that’s all a myth. Mixing fabrics add interest to any outfit. It’s another tool for visibility to have different fabrics together in the same outfit to entertain the eye. Have fun mixing silk, wool, leather, patent, suede, and metallic.

39. “Never mix prints.” Mixing prints may be a little bit more of an art form, but it can be learned. Mixed prints can make a woman look as exciting and interesting as she is. Follow these easy rules: A print in multiple colors will look especially good on you if the background color is one of your most flattering colors. Wear prints together that are not the same scale. If they were the same scale, they’d fight each other for attention. An easy mix of prints is a floral print top combined with a pinstripe pant.

The Brenda Shorts 15 Stay Connected

40. Stay up to date. It’s such a pleasure getting to know you and spending time together. We can do more of that! I’m always sharing style and wardrobe tips on my blog where you’ll discover a great community of women “our age” who enjoy fashion too. You can receive my latest blog posts and Tips & Teasers newsletters in your inbox. Go to www.brendakinsel.com and sign up.

I post tips and outfit posts on social media. Here’s where you can follow me on social media. Pinterest: @brendakinsel Instagram: @brendakinsel Facebook: Brenda Kinsel’s Tips & Teasers

Feel free to check out my books, available online at Amazon.com or in bookstores near you. Titles include 40 Over 40; In the Dressing Room with Brenda, Brenda’s Wardrobe Companion, and Brenda Kinsel’s Fashion Makeover.

If you’d like to become a personal client, please email me at [email protected]. I live in Sonoma, California and see clients within a 30-mile radius. As well, people fly in to work with me from out of state in which case we work together for a concentrated day or two. If you are in need of a speaker for your conference or event, I’d love the opportunity to inspire, educate and inform your audience.

The Brenda Shorts 16 Don’t forget: Clothes are like puppy dogs; they just want to please you like crazy. Let them! This is OUR time!

Copyright © 2018, Brenda Kinsel, AICI CIP. All rights reserved. For personal use only.

What People Say-

“Brenda hit the bullseye with our customers, providing the wardrobe advice they craved and needed. Her uncomplicated approach made everyone feel like they could be a fashion expert. Each attendee left Brenda’s presentation with life-changing tips and the confidence to create their own great ‘put together’ look. We all wished the event wouldn’t end!” Elizabeth Turley, Director of Marketing, Coldwater Creek

“Working on my image with Brenda Kinsel was an eye-opener. I have never learned so much from anybody in such a short time! She helped me to dress and look my best, to be the person I am instead of imitating the unattainable model one sees in women’s magazines. She helped me my eye, and now I don’t waste time, money or energy. Everything in my closet works, and I know exactly how to shop. For the first time in my life, I like the way I dress.” Isabel Allende

“Working with Brenda changed not only my wardrobe but also my life. Her principles of dressing remind me daily to express myself in life with comfort, authenticity, and beauty.” Jean Bernbaum

The Brenda Shorts 17 “I just can’t tell you how wonderful my wardrobe is! The freedom is just amazing. I had no idea what I’ve deprived myself of all these years. I feel elegant, comfortable, and fabulous. It’s contributing to my success in business, not only because of the way I look but also because of the freedom. I love getting up in the morning and not having to worry about my clothes.” Karen McCall

“You take people’s insides and bring that to their outsides. That’s the beauty of what you do. You helped me find my identity. You have made me feel great to be who I am.” Carol Colabianchi

The Brenda Shorts 18