Conversion to Islam and Family Relations in Contemporary Britain Dorothea Alexandra Ramahi Murray Edwards College, University of Cambridge This dissertation is submitted for the degree of Doctor of Philosophy Signature: Date: 13/12/2019 Declaration This thesis is the result of my own work and includes nothing, which is the outcome of work done in collaboration except as declared in the preface and specified in the text. It is not substantially the same as any work that has already been submitted before for any degree or other qualification except as declared in the preface and specified in the text. It does not exceed the prescribed word limit for the Faculty of Asian and Middle Eastern Studies Degree Committee. i Abstract – ‘Conversion to Islam and Family Relations in Contemporary Britain’ Dorothea A. Ramahi This dissertation explores the role of kinship relations in conversion to Islam in contemporary Britain. While the Pauline notion of conversion, which is a Christian concept, presupposes radical change brought on by an outer event, narratives of conversion to Islam convey a sense of continuity, where conversion happens as a natural, almost inconspicuous development of faith. The process of conversion is thus presented as a cumulative acquisition of knowledge, which is in line with one’s path in life up to that point, mirroring what I call ‘Islam’s autobiography’ in its presentation of Islam as the natural continuation of the former monotheisms. Instead, the realm of conflict as presented in narratives of conversion is the realm of family. ‘Coming out’ as Muslim vis-à-vis one’s family was perceived as an anxiety-filled and nerve-wracking process akin to those described in literature on gay kinship. The way in which Islam is positioned as ‘other’ within a Western, Muslim-minority context defines converts’ primary concern with a social re-positioning vis-à-vis their families, and society at large. Narrating continuity and presenting conversion in terms of rationalism helps the converts to position themselves as modern subjects, while mystical experiences and the narration of dreams are rarely revealed, despite their significance. The social re-positioning that conversion to Islam entails also demands a re-drawing of boundaries, which becomes apparent through the study of the material objects that are significant in conversion narratives, where items like food and clothing can not only be markers of difference but can also constitute sites of rejection or accommodation between the converts and their families. The project of ethical self- formation, which some converts engage in through embodied practices like ritual purification, has the side effect of drawing boundaries between the converts and their families, but also between the converts and their old selves, which can result in the ethical dilemma of living in an enduring dual ethical situation. I argue that, rather than focusing on inner re-orientation, conversion to Islam in contemporary Britain requires a model of conversion that privileges social re-positioning, particularly in relation to the family. [Key words: Conversion, Islam, Kinship, Family, Narratives, Techniques of the Self] ii Table of Contents Introduction 1 The Beginning 1 The Term ‘Conversion’ 3 The Purpose of this Study 5 Fieldwork 13 Thesis Structure 20 Chapter One – Coming Out as Muslim 22 Lessons from Gay Kinship Studies 24 Truth Will Out 29 The Family 36 The Trajectory of Ignorance 44 Conclusion 49 Chapter Two – The Image of Islam and Family Biographies 51 Family Biographies and National Conflict 52 ‘Islam’ as a European Imaginary Construct 58 Muslims are always your Neighbours 62 On Collective Memory 69 Family Ideologies 71 Conclusion 74 Chapter Three – From Otherness to Familiarity: Biographies of Self and Religion 76 Narrating Continuity 81 When Familiarity Replaces Otherness 89 The Testimony 97 From the Anthropology of Conversion 100 Conclusion 105 iii Chapter Four – The Religious Modern: Rationalism and Mysticism in Conversion to Islam 107 A Religion of Logic 107 Iṣlāḥ – Apologetics of Islam 113 Rationality is Modernity 117 Modern Compared to Whom? 121 ‘I’jaz ‘Ilmiy’ 127 Dreams that Matter 130 Conclusion 136 Chapter Five – Material Culture and Materiality 141 From the World of Things 143 Material Statements 146 ‘You are what you eat’ or: you eat what you want to become 149 Battlegrounds or sites of accommodation – Objects as Sites that ‘do’ 153 Spiritual Food Poisoning 154 Alcohol as the Men’s Hijab 157 Checking Labels 158 Conclusion 163 Chapter Six – The Ethics of Conversion: Ritual Purification and the Care of the Self 165 Purification as a Technique of the Self 167 Liberal Discontent with the Freedom of the Ethical Subject 169 Foucauldian Ethics 172 Bathroom Etiquette as a Mnemonic Device 174 Drawing Social Boundaries 177 Foucault’s Four-Point System and the Ethical Dilemma 184 ‘You’ve got a mission to get to that paradise’ 187 Conclusion 190 Bibliography 198 iv Acknowledgements This doctoral thesis would not have been possible without the generous help of many people, some of whom I would like to mention by name. First and foremost I thank my supervisors. When I set out to start this project, Prof. Yasir Suleiman supervised my work while Dr. Paul Anderson was already involved as my advisor, always eager to help where needed. Having already supervised my MPhil thesis, Prof. Suleiman saw this project grow into a PhD, something that would not have been possible without his valuable input, his sharp ideas and his guidance. In particular, I owe my initial contact with informants to Prof. Suleiman, who provided them. My being able to participate in the male Narratives of Conversion project, which served as one of my three fieldwork ‘sites’, was equally possible thanks to Prof. Suleiman. After he retired, and after I had returned from my first intermission, Dr. Anderson took on the role of my supervisor. Without his brilliant feedback, which opened up pivotal lines of thought, his kind critique, and his endless flexibility and patience, I would not have been able to finish this project. I also extend thanks to my two funding bodies, the School of Arts and Humanities and the Centre of Islamic Studies, which offered me a doctoral award and a studentship respectively, and thereby, provided the financial basis for this research. Further, I would like to thank all other helpers throughout this project, particularly Sian Creely for her great help in transcribing my interviews, and Chris Townsend for his excellent proofreading services. I also thank all my friends and colleagues who have enhanced this thesis through their input and questions along the way. I owe particular thanks to my family, most of all, my husband Tijan, who has supported me throughout the years and encouraged me to continue. After our three children had been born during this PhD, my mother-in-law’s help was indispensable, particularly in the final stage of writing up. Without her inexhaustible support in all things relating to childcare, I would simply not have had the time to complete this thesis. In this context I also thank our three sons for all the distractions and interruptions, which kept this project truly ‘interesting’ until the very end. I am particularly grateful to my mother for having instilled in me a deep respect for humanity, which is the basis for my endeavours to understand and cherish ‘otherness’. Finally, I thank all those people who have provided the rich material, from which I was able to produce this thesis. Next to the inspiration I drew from my brother’s journey, I thank all the converts and their families who have made time to participate in interviews, hung out with me and hosted me at their family homes. In particular, I thank them for their openness in letting me into some extremely sensitive aspects of their lives. Introduction ‘Look, we’re all looking in the same direction, I’ve just moved to another window to get a different view, but we’re looking at the same thing.’ – Dina, London, convert from Catholicism, talking to her brother Jeremy – The Beginning During Easter 2012 my brother travelled to Rome. He was seventeen years old and part of a Catholic youth group that wanted to spend the holy week there, attending masses in St Peter’s Basilica and partaking in life at the Vatican during this sacred time. He had been a devout believer from early childhood and used to read the bible and pray at home while also being an active member of the church community. When I met him a few weeks later and casually asked ‘So, how’s the Pope?’ he declared much to my surprise that – being a free Evangelical – he had, in fact, nothing to do with the Pope. A few months on he accepted Islam and remains a Muslim until today. This was over a year after I had returned from my Arabic studies in Syria. At the time he had been fairly anti Islam and I had innocently presented him with a German translation of the Qur’an so he could see for himself what it said. What followed his conversion were years of continuous change that was anything but linear or incremental. At one point he donned the Salafi dress code with its cropped trousers, long beard and prayer cap (cf. Inge, 2016:12). There was a time when he refused to sit at the table with us – his family – because wine was served during dinner. He travelled to Malaysia and Indonesia during one Christmas to be in an ‘Islamic environment’ and at another time ran into a family friend, wearing a long white thawb (Muslim men’s robe-like garment) after prayers at the mosque for Eid al-adha1 – much to their mutual discomfort.