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The Tolucan Times Vol © The Tolucan Times Vol. 62, No. 24 Wednesday, June 7, 2006 Photo by Alan Davis See story onpage 1 7 2 Wednesday, June 7, 2006 The Tolucan Times and Canyon Crier The Tolucan Times and Canyon Crier Wednesday, June 7, 2006 3 derous slime ball). a Florida swamp to being lique- heart good to know that in the Crosby’s Corner 3. Kick the imbecilic judge fied in a mob-owned fat-render- year 2006, in the wake of Sept. who originally allowed this bum ing plant to being buried at Giants 11, with terrorists across the By Greg Crosby to get female hormone injections Stadium in the New Jersey globe trying to kill us and securi- at taxpayer expense off the bench. Meadowlands. ty issues still a problem at our Problem solved. Personally, I think Hoffa is still ports and at our borders, some 31 You Can’t Make this Stuff Up psychotherapy – all paid for by • After two weeks digging up alive. I’ve heard that he and Elvis years after the fact, the FBI is still taxpayers, of course. Another a Detroit horse farm, the FBI are half-owners in a Krispy Kreme on the job searching high and low ou really can’t make genius judge strikes again. announced that it didn’t find franchise in a small shopping mall with every bit of resources in this stuff up. Very often But here’s the kicker to the Jimmy Hoffa. The dig involved just a mile or so outside Tulsa. But their command to locate Jimmy YI will peruse the news- whole thing; the reason that the dozens of agents along with I could be wrong, so don’t say Hoffa. Never let it be said that our papers, weekly newsmagazines, Department of Corrections archaeologists, anthropologists, anything to the FBI. I wouldn’t Homeland Security forces are not and internet news sites for inter- stopped short of the sex-change and a demolition crew that want to see a Krispy Kreme store vigilant. esting or unusual topical stories surgery is because they don’t destroyed a barn. The agency said get trashed for nothing. You really can’t make this on which I might comment in this know where to put him after his that the tip that led them to the I must say, though, it does my stuff up. column. Here is a couple I found sex is changed! Officials are con- farm was the best they’d gotten this week: cerned that if Kosilek has the since 1976. FBI officials believed The reason that the Department of Corrections stopped short of the sex-change surgery is because they don’t know where to put [Robert Kosilek] after his sex is changed! • Robert Kosilek, a man who surgery and returns as a woman to Hoffa, who disappeared in 1975, is serving a life sentence in prison the all-male, medium-security had been buried on the farm. The for the murder of his wife, is ask- prison in Norfolk where he is now farm was owned at the time by a ing a federal judge to order the serving his sentence, well, he Hoffa associate and was suppos- state to pay for a sex-change might be assaulted by male edly a mob-meeting place. operation for him. He claims that inmates. On the other hand, if he There have been other places denying him the surgery amounts is transferred to the women’s around the Detroit area that have to cruel and unusual punishment. prison in Framingham, they’re been searched by FBI investiga- A shrink has testified that he worried that he might pose a risk tors looking for Hoffa’s body in believes Kosilek will commit sui- to female inmates there (since recent years. In 2003, they dug cide if the correctional officials after all, he did kill his wife under a backyard pool at a home don’t allow the surgery. He has once). This is indeed a real north of Detroit for clues to the already changed his name – he is conundrum. missing union leader. They didn’t known as “Michelle” around the If I were the king of the world, find Jimmy Hoffa. In 2004, cops old prison yard. this is what I would do: tore up floorboards in a Detroit Back in 2002, U.S. District 1. NOT allow the guy to have house to test bloodstains – the Judge Mark Wolf ruled that this his operation (which would save blood turned out not to be creep was entitled to treatment for the state a lot of money). Hoffa’s. Over the years, theories “gender identity disorder.” So 2. Let the wack-job go ahead of where Hoffa might have been from then on, he was given and off himself (which would buried could fill volumes. The female hormone treatments and save the state even more money speculation runs the gamut from laser hair removal along with his and rid the world of a sick mur- being ground up and thrown into Something to Smile About... Dr. Ruiz is the Course Director for USC’s Advanced Esthetic Dentistry Continuum 2006, an instructor for USC’s School of Dentistry, and holds the prestigious honorary degree of Fellow of the Academy of General Dentistry. Dr. Ruiz has been featured on ABC’s Vista LA on Cosmetic Dentistry, NBC’s Channel 4 News, and by Telemundo Channel 52 for a J. Luis Ruiz, D.D.S. Cosmetic Dental Makeover. The Secret to a Bright, White Smile Traveling through Europe I noticed an interesting truth; people there, although very attractive, did not smile as much as we do here in America. I have come to believe that the reason was their less than perfectly white smile. In contrast, here in Los Angeles, people often smile, showing beautiful, white teeth. So why do so many people here have bright, white smiles? As we age, our teeth become stained from smoking, food, and minerals. We, health and beauty conscious Americans, know that a white smile makes us look younger, more attractive, and healthier, which is why Zoom in office whitening System, there are so many whitening products available to us. see dramatic results in just over an hour! You need only to look in any magazine and along-side people with gorgeous white smiles are advertise- ments for whitening toothpastes, bleaching kits, and cosmetic laser whitening. Over-the-counter whitening products on the market today that claim to whiten teeth can be divided into two groups. The first group consists of products specifically for whitening only, like over-the- counter bleaching kits. The second includes regular oral-care products that add a whitening ingredient to their regular formula for the appeal of the “plus whitening” label. The results from “plus whitening” products are marginal and over-the-counter whitening kits limit the ability to control the placement of the bleaching product, sometimes giving teeth a two-toned effect. The next step up is Dentist supervised home-whitening or in-office whitening procedures. With den- tal supervision, higher concentrations of hydrogen peroxide applied with more accuracy and custom-fit delivery allows for superior results, though at a higher cost. To find out more about a whitening option that fits your needs, call your local dentist. Dr. J. Luis Ruiz & Assoc. Inc. • 818-558-4332 www.DrRuiz.com This article is strictly the opinion of Dr. Ruiz and does not represent the opinion of the entire Dental Profession. 4 Wednesday, June 7, 2006 The Tolucan Times and Canyon Crier Summer Getaways on a Budget (Take Charge America) Are and a vacation.” tion to “charge it.” Credit card you ready for another sizzling Sullivan has six tips for find- bills can add up quickly while on summer? Whether your goal is to ing affordable and fun summer vacation and falling deeper into beat the heat or dive right in, your getaways: debt can make life on the home summer getaway doesn’t have to Do Your Research: Start front much more stressful. burn up your budget. researching possible destinations Plan Ahead… or Mike Sullivan, director of edu- in advance. Compare a variety of Procrastinate: If you plan on fly- cation for Take Charge America, hotels and travel options, and ing, purchase your tickets either says even if you’re stretched for keep in mind that these aren’t the far in advance or at the last cash, you can still indulge in some only major costs associated with a minute to find discounted prices. much-needed R&R. vacation. You need to look into This also applies to all-inclusive “A vacation doesn’t have to the prices of meals, where you vacations and cruises. break the bank. With some careful will be eating, entertainment Be Flexible: It is easier to planning and budgeting, you can expenses and souvenirs. You may find discounted flight and hotel take that summer getaway and still also want to consider an all-inclu- packages if you are flexible with have cash left over,” he said. sive vacation, so you can pin dates and times. Consider taking A recent survey from the trav- down exactly how much you will a red-eye flight or book your el website Expedia.com shows 31 be spending. flights on off-days. Flying on percent of employees didn’t use Start Budgeting Now: If you Friday or Sunday is often more all of their vacation days in 2005. budget for vacations throughout expensive than flying on a Now, it looks like many are trying the year, you won’t feel the pinch Tuesday or Wednesday.
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