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The One Where We Talk About Friends

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! THE ONE WHERE WE TALK ABOUT FRIENDS HEY EVERYONE! WELCOME TO A VERY SPECIAL EPISODE OF BURST YOUR BUBBLE FOR INTERNATIONAL PODCAST MONTH! IF YOU’RE NEW TO THE SHOW, HI! WE’RE EXCITED TO HAVE YOU. EACH EPISODE OF BURST YOUR BUBBLE LOOKS AT -ISMS AND -PHOBIAS IN POP CULTURE, FROM RACISM IN A TV SHOW TO HOMOPHOBIA IN A MOVIE TO SEXISM IN A SONG. AND AS YOU’LL SEE - ON DAYS LIKE TODAY - EPISODES CAN ALSO FOCUS ON ALL THE -ISMS AND -PHOBIAS HIDING IN ONE PIECE OF POP CULTURE. SO THANKS FOR LISTENING TO BURST YOUR BUBBLE, AND I’M EXCITED YOU’RE HERE FOR INTERNATIONAL PODCAST MONTH. IF YOU WANT TO FIND OUT MORE, VISIT US AT BURSTYOURBUBBLEPODCAST.COM AND AWAY WE GO... AIRING FROM 1994 TO 2004, FRIENDS WAS AN INTERNATIONAL TV SENSATION. IT EVEN INSPIRED A HAIRCUT CALLED THE RACHEL, WITH ITS SHORT, BOUNCY LAYERS. YES, I TOO ROCKED THE RACHEL HAIRCUT - AND SO DID MY SISTERS - IN 1999 OR SO. THE SHOW FOLLOWED SIX FRIENDS: CHANDLER BING, PHOEBE BUFFAY, MONICA GELLAR, ROSS GELLAR, RACHEL GREEN, AND JOEY TRIBIANI. THEY WERE ALL 20 SOMETHINGS LIVING IN NYC, HANGING OUT, GOING ON DATES, AND DRINKING LOTS AND LOTS OF COFFEE ON A BIG ORANGE COUCH IN THEIR FAVORITE SPOT. FOR MANY, FRIENDS FELT LIKE VERY RELATABLE TV. THESE WERE JUST A GROUP OF PEOPLE LIVING THEIR EVERYDAY LIVES. BUT LOOK CLOSER, AND FRIENDS IS A TIME CAPSULE, SHOWING HOW CASUAL HOMOPHOBIA, GENDER STEREOTYPES, SEXISM, TRANSPHOBIA, AND RACISM ALL SNEAK INTO SOCIETY. I’M MORGAN JAFFE AND THIS IS BURST YOUR BUBBLE. WHEN FRIENDS FIRST AIRED IN SEPTEMBER OF 1994 AMERICA LOOKED A WHOLE LOT DIFFERENT THAN HOW IT LOOKS TODAY. !1 ! THE INTERNET WAS STILL INCREDIBLY NEW - IN 1994 THE TIMES MIRROR CENTER ESTIMATED THAT ONLY 31% OF ALL AMERICAN HOUSEHOLDS HAD A COMPUTER.1 AND IF YOU WERE ONE OF THE LUCKY PEOPLE TO HAVE IT YOU HAD DIAL UP. PEOPLE WOULD SMOKE EVERYWHERE - IN RESTAURANTS AND BARS AND WORK. IT WAS EXPECTED AND IT WAS NORMAL AND IT WAS SMOKEY. GETTING YOUR FILM PHOTOGRAPHY DEVELOPED IN 24 HOUR WAS A LUXURY - AND FOR MOST PLACES IT STILL TOOK 72 HOURS. YOU CAN FORGET ABOUT LET INSTANT SELFIES. AND WHEN YOU TURNED ON THE RADIO OR LISTENED TO A TAPE YOU’D HEAR NEW KIDS ON THE BLOCK AND SELENA AND ACE OF BASE. BUT DON’T LET THOSE POP HITS FOOL YOU - GRUNGE WAS TAKING OVER MAINSTREAM MUSIC. BUT THAT’S JUST THE FUN POP CULTURE STUFF. THE NOSTALGIA. IT WASN’T EVEN UNTIL 1993 THAT FEMALE SENATORS WERE ALLOWED TO WEAR PANTS ON THE SENATE FLOOR.2 1994 ALSO MEANT THAT DON’T ASK DON’T TELL WAS SIGNED INTO LAW, AND THAT THE 1994 CRIME BILL ACCELERATED THE U.S. PRISON SYSTEM INTO A PRISON INDUSTRIAL COMPLEX.3 FOR BETTER OR WORSE FRIENDS WAS A REFLECTION OF WHAT WAS GOING ON AT THE TIME. AND I IMAGINE THAT’S EXACTLY WHY IT FEELS LIKE IT DIDN’T AGE WELL. 1(2018, September 24). Americans Going Online...Explosive Growth, Uncertain Destinations. Retrieved August 25, 2019 from https://www.people-press.org/1995/10/16/americans-going-online-explosive- growth-uncertain-destinations/ 2 Sears, J. (2017, March 22). Why Women Couldn't Wear Pants on the Senate Floor Until 1993. Retrieved August 25, 2019 from http://mentalfloss.com/article/93384/why-women-couldnt-wear-pants- senate-floor-until-1993 3 Chung, E., Pearl, B., & Hunter, L. (2019, March 26). The 1994 Crime Bill Continues to Undercut Justice Reform-Here's How to Stop It. Retrieved August 25, 2019 from https://www.americanprogress.org/ issues/criminal-justice/reports/2019/03/26/467486/1994-crime-bill-continues-undercut-justice-reform- heres-stop !2 ! SO WHILE TODAY IT’S EASY TO SEE HOW AND WHY FRIENDS CAN FEEL PROBLEMATIC, LUCKILY IT’S ONLY BECAUSE AMERICAN BELIEFS AND VALUES HAVE CHANGED. THIS DOESN’T MAKE IT EXCUSABLE OR NOT WRONG, BUT IT’S SOMETHING TO POINT OUT. AND SO THE FURTHER WE GET AWAY FROM IT’S FIRST AIR DATE IN 1994 AND IT’S LAST AIR DATE IN 2004, THE LESS I CAN WATCH FRIENDS. I KNOW IT WAS PROGRESSIVE FOR ITS TIME, BUT EACH PASSING YEAR MAKES IT FEEL LESS AND LESS SO. BECAUSE LOOKING BACK ON IT NOW - AND I DIDN’T REMEMBER THIS UNTIL REWATCHING FRIENDS FOR SOME REASON - WE ARE INTRODUCED TO ROSS, SAD, LONELY, AND FINDING OUT THAT “CAROL MOVED HER STUFF OUT TODAY.” AND WHY DID SHE MOVE OUT? WELL, BECAUSE SHE’S A LESBIAN WHO’S FALLEN IN LOVE WITH A WOMAN NAMED SUSAN. ROSS’S WHOLE STORYLINE STARTS WITH ONE BIG LESBIAN JOKE, AND THE SHOW LEANS ON THAT HEAVILY IN THE FIRST EPISODE AND MOST OF THE FIRST AND EARLY SEASONS. AND THE LESBIAN JOKES GO ON THROUGHOUT ALL 10 OF THE SEASONS, EVEN AS WE HARDLY SEE CAROL ON SCREEN, OR EVEN THE SON ROSS HAS WITH HER. AND AS YOU CAN IMAGINE, THERE ARE PLENTY OF STEREOTYPES CLIP: ROSS: THIS WAS CAROL’S FAVORITE BEER. SHE ALWAYS DRANK IT OUT OF THE CAN. I SHOULD’VE KNOWN. CLIP: CAROL: ROSS, YOU REMEMBER SUSAN? ROSS: HOW COULD I FORGET. SUSAN: ROSS. ROSS: HELLO, SUSAN. GOOD SHAKE. CLIP: ROSS: HEY! WHEN DID YOU AND SUSAN MEET HUEY LEWIS? CAROL: UH, THAT’S OUR FRIEND, TANYA. ROSS: OF COURSE IT’S YOUR FRIEND TANYA. WHEN CAROL AND SUSAN TELL ROSS… !3 ! CLIP: CAROL: “WE’RE GETTING MARRIED.” THERE IT GOES, A LAUGH TRACK. AND ROSS IS CERTAINLY UNHAPPY ABOUT IT - CLIP: ROSS: AS IN I NOW PRONOUNCE YOU WIFE AND WIFE, MARRIED? AND I GET IT. IT’S HIS EX WIFE. BUT A LAUGH TRACK AFTER “WE’RE GETTING MARRIED” DOESN’T FEEL LIKE THE AUDIENCE IS SUPPOSED TO BE LAUGHING AT THE SITUATION FOR ROSS, BUT LAUGHING AT CAROL AND SUSAN. THAT DOESN’T FEEL VERY SUPPORTIVE. BUT THEN I HAVE TO REMIND MYSELF THAT FRIENDS WAS ONE OF THE FIRST TV SHOWS TO EVER SHOW A SAME-SEX WEDDING. WHEN THE EPISODE AIRED IN 1996, NEW YORK DID NOT RECOGNIZE ANY MARRIAGE FOR LGBTQ COUPLES - AND THAT RULING WASN’T OVERTURNED TILL 2008 - BUT JUST FOR NEW YORK. MARRIAGE FOR LGBTQ COUPLES WOULDN’T BE LEGAL ACROSS ALL OF THE UNITED STATES TILL 2015. AND SO WHEN CAROL’S PARENTS REFUSE TO ATTEND HER WEDDING, IT’S ROSS WHO ENCOURAGES HER TO GO AHEAD AND MARRY SUSAN, AND IT’S ROSS WHO WALKS HER DOWN THE AISLE - EVEN IF HE HAS A HARD TIME GIVING HER AWAY AT THE END. THE PROBLEM WITH ROSS AND HIS HOMOPHOBIA IS WHEN THE AUDIENCE ISN’T LAUGHING AT HIM AND HIS BACKWARD VIEWS, BUT LAUGHING WITH HIM. BUT I THINK TWO THINGS ARE WORTH REMEMBERING: 1) SUSAN AND CAROL WERE BASED ON REAL PEOPLE, WRITTEN BY CREATORS MARTA KAUFFMAN AND DAVID CRANE AS TRIBUTE TO THEIR BEST FRIENDS IN NEW YORK CITY.4 AND 2) I THINK ROSS IS ACTUALLY WRITTEN TO BE HOMOPHOBIC, BUT ODDLY IN A POSITIVE WAY. YES, HE’S HOMOPHOBIC, BUT WRITTEN IN A WAY TO SHOW THAT HE’S AN EXAMPLE OF A LARGER AMERICAN SOCIETY AND HOW THE COUNTRY, YES, UNCOMFORTABLE, CAN AND WAS CHANGING THEIR MIND. 4 Morgan, J. (2014, January 14). Was Friends homophobic? Retrieved August 10, 2019 from https:// www.gaystarnews.com/article/was-friends-homophobic170914/#gs.y1p4gi !4 ! ROSS DIDN’T HAVE TO BE SUPPORTIVE OF CAROL. HE DIDN’T HAVE TO WALK HER DOWN THE AISLE IN THE ACT OF GIVING HER AWAY TO SUSAN. BUT HE DID. AND AS THEIR WEDDING STARTS, THE OFFICIANT BEGINS: CLIP: THE OFFICIANT: YOU KNOW, NOTHING MAKES GOD HAPPIER THAN WHEN TWO PEOPLE - ANY TWO PEOPLE - COME TOGETHER IN LOVE. FRIENDS, FAMILY, WE’RE GATHERED HERE TODAY TO JOIN CAROL AND SUSAN IN HOLLY MATRIMONY. AND DID YOU HEAR THE OFFICIANT’S EMPHASIS ON “ANY TWO PEOPLE”? WAS THAT LINE TRULY FOR THE FICTIONAL WEDDING GUESTS, OR A NICE REMINDER FOR PRIMETIME TV? ROSS WALKING CAROL DOWN THE AISLE TO GIVE HER AWAY TO SUSAN IS A REMINDER THAT PEOPLE CAN CHANGE THEIR MINDS. THAT THEY CAN GO FROM DISGUST AND FEAR TO ACCEPTANCE AND ALLYSHIP. AND ALL OF THIS ISN’T TO SAY THAT ROSS IS A GOLDEN BOY OF A CHARACTER. NO NO, NO. FAR FROM IT. ACTUALLY, I THINK IT’S PRETTY SAFE TO SAY THAT ROSS IS IS NEVER TRULY SUPPORTIVE OF THE WOMEN IN HIS LIFE. I MEAN, HE’S CONSISTENTLY AN OBSESSIVE AND JEALOUS BOYFRIEND TO RACHEL THROUGHOUT THE SERIES - NOT TO MENTION ALL OF HIS GIRLFRIENDS. AND WHEN ROSS AND RACHEL BREAK UP AND ROSS DATES ANOTHER WOMAN, HE’S VISIBLY DISGUSTED WITH HER AND DUMPS HER WHEN SHE SHAVES HER HEAD. OR HOW ROSS STARTED AN I HATE RACHEL GREEN CLUB IN HIGH JUST BECAUSE SHE WOULDN’T DATE HIM - AND THIS BUT SHE SHOULD LOVE ME BECAUSE I’M A NICE GUY SCHTICK GOES THROUGHOUT THE ENTIRE SERIES. AND IT’S NOT EVEN JUST ROSS’S ROMANTIC PARTNERS, BUT ALL OF THE WOMEN IN HIS LIFE. WHEN ROSS FINDS OUT CHANDLER IS DATING MONICA HE’S ABSOLUTELY FURIOUS, AS IF CHANDLER IS TAKING ADVANTAGE OF HIS LITTLE SISTER, IGNORING THAT MONICA IS AN ADULT AND THAT WHO SHE DATES IS HER DECISION. AND SO, ROSS TENDS TO TREAT WOMEN LIKE THEY’RE THINGS AND POSSESSIONS. NOT LIKE THEY’RE HUMAN BEINGS. !5 ! AND MAYBE ALL OF THIS IS ALL TIED TOGETHER IN ONE TERRIBLE AND BADLY WRAPPED BOW - ROSS IS HOMOPHOBIC AND TREATS WOMEN POORLY.
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