Channa Buxbaum
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Running head: PREMARITAL SEXUAL EDUCATION AND SATISFACTION 1 “This is Torah, and I Must Learn”: Evaluation of Women’s Premarital Sexual Education and Sexual Satisfaction in the Orthodox Jewish Community Presented to the S. Daniel Abraham Honors Program in Partial Fulfillment of the Requirements for Completion of the Program Stern College for Women Yeshiva University May 22, 2020 Channa Buxbaum Mentor: Professor Terry DiLorenzo, Psychology PREMARITAL SEXUAL EDUCATION AND SATISFACTION 2 Abstract Cultural and religious characteristics have been found to play a pivotal role in shaping sex- related attitudes and behaviors. Specifically, studies have found an association between religious affiliation, sexual pleasure, and marital satisfaction. This thesis project will examine the relationship between these factors within the Orthodox Jewish community. It will suggest that sex education for Orthodox Jewish women can either enhance or diminish future sexual and marital satisfaction. This project will then propose an experiment which quantitatively analyzes the differential psychological impact of Orthodox Jewish sexual education curricula on women’s marital and sexual experience. Keywords: Orthodox Judaism; sexual satisfaction; marital satisfaction; sexual education PREMARITAL SEXUAL EDUCATION AND SATISFACTION 3 Introduction: Human sexual activity is at once rooted in instinct and channeled through a number of highly individualized sociocultural values and expectations. One such agent of sexual socialization is religion, which has significantly shaped sexual activity and determined sexual norms throughout human history. Religious individuals’ moral evaluation of sexual activity and attitudes toward sex-related issues are often based on those of religious texts and religious authorities. For example, research has found that public opinion toward same-sex marriage is powerfully linked to religious affiliation (Olson, Cadge, & Harrison, 2006). Religion can also drive individuals’ sexual behaviors throughout their lifetimes by influencing their likelihood of engaging in a number of sexual activities. Laumann et al. (1994) observed that religious individuals were significantly less likely to fantasize about sex, masturbate, engage in oral or anal sex, or have sex with multiple partners. While there is a substantial body of literature concerning the effect of religion on perception of sex-related behaviors, relatively few studies have explored these implications within specific religious communities. Some degree of generalization is understandable, as many core ethical principles of sexuality run uniformly across different religions. For instance, the moral condemnation of adultery and pre-marital intercourse exists in numerous world religions, including Judaism, Christianity, Islam, and Hinduism (Wilson, 1991). However, religious views on sexuality and sexual ethics also range widely, from perceiving sex as the height of spiritual awakening to viewing it as a hindrance, a necessary evil, or even a carnal rejection of the divine (Leeming, 2003). These attitude differences are often reflected in both ancient religious texts and modern-day discourse (or lack thereof) surrounding sex-related topics. There are crucial distinctions between religious communities PREMARITAL SEXUAL EDUCATION AND SATISFACTION 4 in when, how, and to what degree individuals are taught to regard sex. Even the acquisition of sex-related language is dependent on their specific religion; one study found that many Hindu women reported lacking a name for their genitals (Rao & Nagaraj, 2015). The Orthodox Jewish community is a small subset of Judaism which adheres strictly to Biblical and Talmudic laws regarding sexual activity between marital partners. Sexual foreplay, consent, and an atmosphere of mutual pleasure are at the heart of many Talmudic texts (Chagiga 4b; Eruvin 100b; Ketubot 61b). Despite this, Friedman, Labinsky, Rosenbaum, Schmeidler, and Yehuda (2009) demonstrated that many married Orthodox women report lower levels of sexual satisfaction compared to a previously measured non- Orthodox sample, which used the same scales (Laumann et al., 1994). It is possible that Friedman et al.’s results cannot be directly compared to those of Laumann et al. (1944) due to the span of time between them and potential cultural and historical factors independent of religiosity which may have affected results. However, these findings may alternatively have concerning implications for Orthodox Jewish women, seeing as low sexual pleasure appears detrimental to both marital satisfaction (Ziaee et al., 2014) and sexual wellness (Rao & Nagaraj, 2015). Though women’s sexual assertiveness is a crucial aspect of Talmudic law, it is plausible that married Orthodox women feel alienated from their sexuality. This may arise for a number of different reasons: it is possible that Orthodox women are failing to acquire concrete knowledge regarding their sexual anatomy and sex-related behavior. Conversely, they may be taught the biological aspect of sex without being properly informed about religious attitudes within the Jewish tradition, such as their mandated right to sexual pleasure or the importance of foreplay. Formal sex-related education concerning these laws are traditionally taught to Orthodox Jews during their engagement through “kallah classes” PREMARITAL SEXUAL EDUCATION AND SATISFACTION 5 (Petok, 2001). Therefore, it is predicted that creating a standardized curriculum for kallah classes based on empirically-supported improvements in sexual and marital satisfaction can create vast improvements for the community. History of human sexuality: Discussion of human sexuality has been recorded all over the world since the dawn of civilization. However, sex began to be associated with immorality and punishment in the 16th century, propelled by the growing knowledge of sexually-transmitted diseases, such as syphilis, which were postulated to be a sign of sin (Burg, 2012). This theory, and the cultural landscape which created it, greatly influenced both the policies and moral standards surrounding sexual behavior for the centuries following. The belief that sex and sin were inextricable from one another saw a peak in the Victorian era, when sex was seen as a “necessary evil,” to be used only as a means of procreation (Landale & Guest, 1986). The value placed on self-denial and sexual abstinence was likely reflective of the emergent cultural emphasis on self-discipline and moral superiority that was associated with establishing social position (Landale & Guest, 1986). It was additionally assumed that women lacked sexual desire altogether and were instead bound by a marital duty to please their husbands. Despite this, most historical reports seem to indicate that many Victorian women experienced great sexual pleasure (Degler, 1974). In the early 20th century, German physician Iwan Bloch (1909) made the case for studying human sexuality, which he termed Sexualwissenchaftr (“sexology”). Rather than considering sex an easily corrupting force threatening the more sophisticated human functions, as many Victorian thinkers were apt to do (Smith-Rosenberg, 1978), Bloch PREMARITAL SEXUAL EDUCATION AND SATISFACTION 6 believed precisely the opposite. He viewed cultural determinants as corruptible and sex as inherently “ever purer and more promotive of happiness” (1909). For instance, Bloch boldly asserted in The Sexual Life of Our Time that marriage was “the true cancer of our sexual life, the sole cause of the increasing diffusion of prostitution, of wild sexual promiscuity, and of venereal diseases” (1909). Through asserting that sex is not simply a physiological process but a social and cultural one as well, Bloch paved the way for future theorists – most notably, Sigmund Freud. Bloch’s studies, as well as the lingering sexual repression of the late Victorian era, provided the framework for Freud’s own observations and theories on sexuality (Cotti, 2009). On one hand, Victorian society was characterized by the Puritan policing of sexual expression; yet it simultaneously brought about what historian Michel Foucalt described as “a veritable discursive explosion” on sex (1978). The seeming contradiction between society’s simultaneous fixation and repulsion with sex made a marked impression on Freud’s psychoanalytic theory. According to Freud’s view, the human sexual drive is a primordial biological urge which seeks release but is repeatedly stifled by repressive societal norms (1964). Classic psychoanalysis radically changed the conventional understanding of sexuality by proposing that “perverse” sexual thoughts existed in all people since childhood. In an effort to ease the anxiety these thoughts produced, perverse thoughts were removed from conscious awareness (Freud, 1964). However, they continued to influence people’s automatic activities and attitudes, as well as mental illnesses. Accordingly, Freud (1964) believed that women experienced “hysteria” as a result of the sexual fantasies and penis envy they experience during childhood. While most of this line of thinking has been popularly rejected, Freud was unusual in his assertion that women possessed sexual desire. PREMARITAL SEXUAL EDUCATION AND SATISFACTION 7 Later, the Lacanian approach to psychoanalysis fundamentally reformulated Freud’s theory in favor of the argument that sexual desire is produced and regulated partly by social convention (Lacan & Miller, 1988). According to Lacan, one’s experience with the world is like looking into a