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Home , Agunah, Chuppah, Jewish wedding, Ketubah, Sandek, Sheva Brachot

Thursday, January 28, 2021

RITES OF PASSAGE - Starter: Recall Questions 1. What does a Sandek do in ? 2. What is the literal translation of bar ? 3. A girl becomes a bat mitzvah at what age? 4. Under Jewish law, children become obligated to observe the what of Jewish law after their bar/bat mitzvah 5. What is the oral law? All: To examine marriage trends in the Learning 21st century. Intent Most: To analyse the most important customs and traditions in a Jewish marriage ceremony.

Some: assess the difference in the approach on marriage in Jewish communities/ consider whether marriage is relevant in the 21 century. Key Terms for this topic 1. Adultery: Sexual intercourse between a married person and another person who is not their spouse. 2. : Women who are 'chained' metaphorically because their husbands have not applied for a '' or refused to give them one. 3. Ashkenazi :A Jew who has descended from traditionally German-speaking countries in Central and Eastern Europe. 4. : A canopy used during a Jewish . It is representative of the couple’s home. 5. Cohabitation: Living together without being married. 6. Conservative: These are believers that prefer to keep to old ways and only reluctantly allow changes in traditional beliefs and practices. 7. : A legal separation of the marriage partners. 8. family purity: A system of rules observed by whereby husband and do not engage in sexual relations or any physical contact from the onset of menstruation until 7 days after its end and the woman has purified herself at the mikvah. 9. forced marriage: Marriage whereby one of the partners or both are unwilling. 10.Get: A Jewish divorce document, arranged through the Bet Din. 11.: Jewish ritual bath for immersion to restore ritual purity. Marriage

• Marriage is a civil contract between two people.

• The couple to be married may choose whether to have the ceremony in a register office or other place licensed to conduct , or whether to have it as part of a religious ceremony in a place of worship licensed to conduct it.

• In 2014, the UK parliament brought in a law (known as the Marriage (Same Sex) Couples Act 2014) so that a couple of the same sex can get married in England, Scotland and Wales, although this excludes getting married in a religious establishment. Marriage in Judaism • Many religious traditions believe marriage is a gift from God and family life a blessing. Raising a family is a sacred duty to Jewish people, a way to express loyalty to Judaism.

• Many Jews believe that marriage is very important for a stable society in which children can be brought up in a secure relationship. Some believe that cohabitation does not offer this, even if the couple intend to get married later. They believe that life-long commitment is important and that it is within this kind of relationship that people should have a sexual relationship. Marriage in Judaism For Jews, marriage is very important because family and the home are thought to be great blessings. Here are some sources of authority to explain why “A man without a woman is doomed to an existence without joy, without blessing, without experiencing life's true goodness, without , without protection and without peace.”

A husband and wife are one soul, separated only G-d said, “It is not good for man through their descent to this world. When they are to be alone.” (Genesis 2:18) married, they are reunited again. The Zohar, I91a

Therefore a man shall leave his “He who finds a wife has found father and his mother and cling to his good, and earns the favor of G-d.” wife and they shall become one flesh. (Proverbs 18:22) (Genesis 2:26) Marriage in Judaism For Jews, marriage is very important because family and the home are thought to be great blessings. “A man without a woman is doomed to an existence without joy, without blessing, without experiencing life's true goodness, without Torah, without protection and without peace.” Talmud

Marriage is an important aspect of life for Jews. They believe the purpose of marriage is: to unite with someone they love for the rest of their lives to please God, who is witness to all marriages to allow two souls to merge into one and form a complementary and mutually supportive partnership to have children and raise them in accordance with the Jewish tradition Marriage is mentioned in the Torah and in rabbinic law many times. As Jews regard the Torah and rabbinic law as an important source of authority they believe in its guidance to marry. Arranged marriages

Some Jews, especially some Orthodox Jews, support the idea of arranged introductions to potential marriage partners. The introductions are arranged by a professional matchmaker, called a shadchan, who receives a fee. Other Jews may seek to find a partner through similar dating services. Parents may also be involved in the choice of the marital partner for their son or daughter. There is no forced marriage. The man and woman are free to develop the relationship or to reject it. Marrying out Marrying out, is when someone marries a non-Jew. This is also called intermarriage. There are different Jewish attitudes towards marrying out. ❑ Most Orthodox Jews are against marrying out because a couple may not agree to raise their children in the Jewish tradition. ❑ Most Conservative Jews are generally against marrying out but may accept it if the partner who is not Jewish might convert to Judaism in the future. ❑ Most Reform Jews accept marrying out but would prefer that their children be raised in the Jewish tradition. Jewish marriage ceremony

The betrothal, or Once a couple decides to marry, they become betrothed - set aside for each other. By tradition, the ceremony to mark the betrothal should take place a year before the marriage, but more usually nowadays the ceremony of betrothal is performed just before the wedding. The couple should not live together while betrothed and should not have a sexual relationship. At the last service in the before the wedding, the groom is traditionally called up to bless the Torah, to show that the Torah will guide the couple in their marriage.

There is often a celebration afterwards. In some Orthodox communities the bride is not present for this. The bride and groom will often not meet again until the wedding. During the betrothal, a wedding contract called the ketubah is drawn up. This sets out the husband's duties to his wife, details of inheritance on his death, the support he will provide for children, and what he will provide to his wife should there be a divorce. Sometimes the responsibilities of the wife towards her husband will also be set out. Features of a ceremony

Some practise a tradition where the bride's face is veiled before the ceremony and a prayer is recited. Sephardic Jews, on the other hand, do not have this tradition. Some Jewish brides and grooms will make use of mikveh just before their wedding. In a mikveh ritual they immerse themselves in a pool of water, usually in the synagogue, to cleanse themselves spiritually and prepare for their married state. Family purity, of body and mind, is an important part of marriage for many Jews. Therefore many Jewish women will ritually immerse themselves in the mikveh after menstruation and childbirth.

A Jewish wedding ceremony can take place on any day other than the Shabbat or a feast day.

Features of a Jewish wedding ceremony include: Most Jewish take place on a Sunday. Tuesday is considered a lucky day because in the creation story God said “it was good” twice. Weddings may take place inside a synagogue or outside. • It always takes place under a chuppah (a canopy) The ceremony usually begins with signing the ketubah, the marriage contract, if this has not already been done before the ceremony. The couple stand under the chuppah, blessings are given and the groom places the wedding ring on the bride's finger. In some traditions, the bride also gives the groom a ring. The or guests recite seven blessings known as . The bride and groom drink a cup of wine after the seven blessings. The rabbi may make a short speech about the couple before blessing them. At the end of the ceremony, the groom will break a glass with his right foot and the guests shout 'mazel tov', which means congratulations. This tradition symbolises the destruction of the Temple in . It also reminds Jews that in life there is sometimes great sadness as well as great joy. Finally the couple spend a few minutes alone in a private room as a symbol of their newly married status. Watch the following video clips and add to your notes on the worksheet Engaged? Jewish Traditions Before a Wedding - YouTube

Ketubah: The Jewish Wedding Contract - YouTube

Chuppah: The Jewish Wedding Canopy - YouTube

What to Expect at a Jewish Wedding Ceremony - YouTube Review Questions

• What is the modern/current trends in marriage? • What is the nature and purpose of marriage in Judaism • Can you support your explanation with sources of authority? • What happens in a Jewish wedding? • Can you identify and explain the differences between different types of Jews and these different group perform their wedding ceremonies? • Can you explain at least three symbols used in a Jewish wedding? Exam Question Practice

❑You will now write up your ideas by answering the following exam question:

‘Explain why Orthodox Jews would believe that husband and wife should share the same religious beliefs’

[5 marks] Extension Tasks: Divorce and remarriage in Judaism Read the information on divorce and remarriage in Judaism and answer the

What does Judaism say about divorce and remarriage?

• Most Jews accept the idea of divorce. The document required for a divorce is called a get. Some Jews must get their divorce granted in a Jewish court, known as a Bet Din. Here the husband and wife are questioned and arrange financial and personal issues. Even if this is done, Jews in the UK must also legally dissolve their marriage in a civil court.

• Many Jewish couples who are having marital problems will try to sort them out as they have a contractual bond with God to stay with each other for the rest of their lives. However, sometimes a couple might feel that their only option is divorce. This could be on the grounds that:

one of the partners has been unfaithful and committed adultery – one of the Ten Commandments is not to commit adultery

the couple constantly argue and cannot compromise on their problems

the husband beats the wife or vice versa

the couple have had no children after ten years of marriage Thou shall not commit adultery one of the partners no longer wants to have sex with the other (Exodus 20:14) • In some Jewish communities divorce will only be granted if the man initiates it and the woman agrees. A woman may not initiate a divorce.

• Agunah means 'chained' and refers to a woman who is metaphorically chained to her husband because he refuses to give her a get. Agunah women cannot remarry in the Jewish tradition because Jewish law states that the husband must grant his wife a get.

• This is changing and nowadays most of these communities will allow a woman to initiate divorce.

• Remarriage

• Orthodox Jews only allow remarriage if the person wishing to remarry has a get from a rabbinic Bet Din. Reform Jews generally allow remarriage.

“If a man marries a woman who becomes displeasing to him because he finds something indecent about her, and he writes her a certificate of divorce, gives it to her and sends her from his house, and if after she leaves his house she becomes the wife of another man, and her second husband dislikes her and writes her a certificate of divorce, gives it to her and sends her from his house, or if he dies, then her first husband, who divorced her, is not allowed to marry her again after she has been defiled. That would be detestable in the eyes of the Lord. Do not bring sin upon the land the Lord your God is giving you as an inheritance.” (Deuteronomy 24:1-4) What does this mean in practice? • Many Jews will try to work through any marital problems they encounter. Some may choose to seek advice from their rabbi and extended family but if they cannot resolve these issues then they may divorce. • Some Jews will choose to request a religious divorce, involving a get. Others will simply obtain a civil divorce.

Come up with arguments for and against divorce and remarriage in Judaism ‘Marriage is for life in Judaism’

Arguments in support of the question Arguments against/in favour of a different view.