DERECH Update ______

When in the immediate presence of our parent or teacher, it is a mitzvah of yirah not to leave without permission.

ולא ישב לפניו עד שיאמר לו שב ולא יעמוד עד שיאמר לו עמוד או עד שיטול רשות לעמוד, וכשיפטר מלפניו לא יחזיר לו אחוריו אלא נרתע לאחוריו ופניו כנגד פני רבו. )יורה דעה רמב, טז( וידבר אלקים אל נח לאמר: צא מן התבה. )בראשית ח, טו־טז( אמר נח: כשם שלא נכנסתי אלא ברשות כך איני יוצא אלא ברשות. )ילקוט שם רמז, נט(

In the story of Noach (Beraishis 8:16), it is written: “And Hashem spoke to Noach saying, ‘Leave the teivah (ark).’” Although Noach surely was anxious to leave (see Yalkut) and had every indication that this was the correct time to leave, he said, “Just as I entered only with permission, so must I leave only with permission.” From here we learn that being in another’s domain demands certain etiquette. This applies especially to a child who is in the domain of his parent or a student in the domain of his rebbi (Torah teacher). In a similar vein, it should be noted that one may not sit in the presence of an important person without permission. This applies especially to a rebbi muvhak (teacher from whom one gained the most Torah knowledge) or talmid chacham muflag (eminent Torah scholar of the generation). Furthermore, when leaving their immediate presence, one should not show his back, but rather, back away (about 4 amos or 8 feet) just as one does for an aron kodesh.

Rabbi Boruch Ber Leibowitz, zt’l, Rosh Yeshiva of Kamenitz, was very meticulous in the mitzvah of kibud av v’eim. His father, Rav Shmuel, was a big talmid chacham, who used to come to hear his son’s shiurim. When the time for the shiur would arrive, the talmidim would sit in their places, awaiting their rebbi. The door would open, and the form of Rav Boruch Ber would appear at the door. All the disciples would stand up in honor of the Rav, and they would look at him respectfully. Rav Baruch Ber would not go to his usual place right away, but would first turn to his father and greet him. Then he would ask his father humbly, “Dear Tatta, please permit me to give over my shiur to the talmidim.” The father would smile and nod. Only then, after receiving permission from his father, would Rav Boruch Ber go to his place and begin to speak. After the shiur, Rav Boruch Ber would not leave immediately. Instead, he would go over to his father and ask, lowering his head, “Tatta dear, did I give over the shiur well?” The more the talmidim witnessed such kibud av v’eim, the more they respected him.

ASK YOUR CHILD! 1. Define 'immediate presence.' Give examples. 2. Name other people whose presence you would not leave without permission. Why? 3. May one sit in the presence of an important person without permission? 4. How should one leave the presence of a rebbi muvhak or a talmid chacham muflag?

What should you do if . . . ? 1. Your teacher is speaking to you privately. The conversation has just ended. 2. You are eating dinner with your parent. You want to get a note from your schoolbag. 3. You are in the middle of talking to your parent when the telephone or doorbell rings. ------

DERECH HACHAYIM CARD "... ידמה אותם בעיניו כמלך..." )ספר חרדים פ"ו( $1.20

Dear DERECH Mailbox, ______

I reviewed the mitzvah of "not leaving your parent or teacher's presence without permission" with

Name: ______Gr: ___ Parent's Signature: ______

Each signed "postcard" is worth 10 points. 120 points earns you a reward! !אריכות ימים Doing the mitzvah earns you