The Student Newspaper of Imperial College Issue 1247 F 9AWz r-' How To Be Good. And Coffee Break: we really REFERENCE not necessarily in an intend you to read it ecclesiastical way. while drinking coffee. COLLECTION Page 18 Page 22 Imperial College and Science Museum Libraries Lecturers To Strike In a ballot of its members (Felix 1243), the highlight the additional cost to students tak- Association of University Teachers has voted ing courses in London. Meanwhile, the AUT 75% in favour of a strike this Thursday. explicitly states that the association aims not The AUT are protesting about the 'London "to adversely affect students" with its strike weighting', the extra money awarded to uni- action. versity staff working in London to offset the It is thought that some critical College staff higher cost of living. The allowance stands at may be involved in the strike action including £2134, but has remained fixed since 1992. security officers. Head of Security Ken Weir is Meanwhile, claim the AUT, London vice- hoping to obtain permission for his staff to chancellors enjoy £16,000 extra per year disregard the call to strike in order to provide over their counterparts outside the capital. fire and security cover, though he acknowl- The unions rejected a 3.5% salary increase edged that he had no way of knowing how offer, and are instead campaigning for an many of his staff were in the appropriate allowance of £4000. unions or were planning to strike. Several other staff unions - NATFHE, Union President Sen Ganesh said he was Amicus and Unison - have also called on Will lecture theatres stand empty? "deeply concerned" that teaching and Union their members to strike on 14th November. activities may be disrupted by the strike, but The number of lecturers to walk out is University of London Union (ULU) are both as with the rest of College, there seems to be unclear, but technical and administrative publically supporting the action, with the much uncertainty about the number of staff staff both in College and the students' union London weighting for student funding one of to walk out next week. are also covered by the call to strike. ULU's main campaigns. It is hoped that any The AUT has stated that the strike may still The National Union of Students (NUS) and movement on the weighting for staff may be averted if employers negotiate. AW Union Shutdown A new column on College poli- The Union building in South and Kensington Gore will also tics. This week, Carina Fearnley Kensington will be largely evacu- close, while nearby residences ated on Saturday as a result of are closely monitored. In the This year's ICSM clinical play the Remembrance Day events at past, parked cars and even outdoes its location (a lecture the Royal Albert Hall. chained-up bikes have been theatre) with a performances of The annual ceremony in removed by police as they may Tom Stoppard's Arcadia. remembrance of those from the conceal "hostile devices". armed forces who died in action, While police will occupy the S55SSS5B including the two world wars, is roof of the Beit building, they will Liz joins Simon on the film attended by the Queen and other not be armed, according to team. Will it be Posh and members of the royal family. The College's Head of Security Ken Becks? Or Kevin and Perry? Union building in Beit Weir. A history of Imperial's Quadrangle is usually closed Student activities in the Union famous professors starts when royals attend the hall in basements will be unaffected and week in Science. order to stage counter-terrorism the bars will be open as usual. 8th November 2002 measures. Prince Consort Road AW What you won't be allowed to do
"I think we should slip the word 'bastard' in there somewhere..." http://www.union.ic.ac.uk/felix/ [email protected] NEWS FELIX Careers Fair Success FELIX The Union's Careers Fair took place Issue 1247 this week, where nearly 100 com- panies tried to attract desirable Editor Will Dugdale Imperial graduates. Deputy Editor Alisdair Wren Unfortunately, the weather on International Edmund Henley Wednesday was miserable, but Science Rosemary Chandler over 2500 students passed Music Sajini Wijetilleka through the exhibits in the Union Nightlife Patrick Hoar building and in the marquee erect- Webview Jenny Lewis ed in Beit Quad. 2000 students are Books Roz Bulleid expected on Thursday, after Felix Film Simon North goes to press. and Liz Biggs This year's fair was organised by Coffee Break Mike 'n' Jim Michelle Lewthwaite, who said "I Sport Alex Coby feel it has been very successful, and it seems that all the students Thanks to Ee Lin and Hemel have enjoyed it." The company representatives Felix, Beit Quadrangle, Prince also seemed positive about the fair, Weather failed to mar Careers Fair attendance Consort Road, London which gave them a good opportu- SW7 2BB nity to advertise their graduate pro- gets three hundred applications campaigns this year to encourage grammes and meet with their each year, and they only have three scientists and engineers to believe Tel: 020 7594 8072 future employees. places!" that their degrees are not "irrele- E-mail: [email protected] However, some students found The changing employment mar- vant" or "wasted" on a career in the experience a worrying reminder ket is changing the way some com- the city. Felix is a registered that they'll soon be leaving univer- panies market themselves to grad- Ms Lewthwaite wanted to thank newspaper: sity, while another commented uates. Specifically, some invest- all the Union staff and students ISSN 1040-0711 "that man over there told me he ment banks are running strong who made the day a success. AW Copyright © Felix 2002
Printed by Witherbys, EC1 [email protected] We're still looking for departmental and halls correspondents
Get the Interview.. .Get the Job.. .Tips on Preparing 2002
Graduate Recruitment Bureau Teach First presents presents
"Making the Most of "Cracking a Case Study-
Recruitment Agencies" An overview by Ex-consultants now at Teach First" Wednesday, 13th November 2pm-5pm Thursday, 14th November 6pm-9pm Room 6b, East Wing Basement, Beit Quad To secure your place contact Nick Gore today on [email protected] or call ext 4-8097 - imperial college union Another service provided by Imperial College Union FELIX COLUMN 03 And Alex Said
I'm sure Imperial could sort out all they're spending money on alcohol, ural depressant... and a surprise... greater alcohol tolerance, which its financial difficulties if it just they won't be spending it in HMV, all in one... it's not possible... it's can only mean more money into the replaced the optician's on the walk- and perhaps that will mean the not possible... college coffers. And perhaps we'd way with an off-licence. Lack of charts will be free of S-Club Juniors. Announcer: NEW VODKA SUNNY see less vomiting in the union. spectacles and alcohol-induced So, we should be promoting alcohol DELIGHT! What better way to finish a fun bleariness might mean a small more heavily to the under-16's. Woman: What a good idea! There night out than with your arms investment in replacing the library's There could be an advertising cam- you go kids. around a toilet bowl, retching so textbooks with large-print copies, paign like that badly dubbed Kinder Children: Yay! hard you can almost see your own but it would mean no top-up fees - Egg advert of several years ago... Ugly Child 3: But where's the sur- intestines? While feeding your new and, regardless of background, stu- prise? ceramic friend your previous meal, dents will all still have exactly the The Scene: A Woman: The sur- you can find yourself asking ques- same opportunities to come to uni- Supermarket. A prise is that I tions - like, was there ever a man versity. And get completely ratted. woman is standing haven't given you a called Armitage Shanks? What is Probably because alcohol has in the drinks aisle Booze! good wallop for the Ideal Standard? All that graffiti destroyed my memory, I don't with her three dis- being so bloody on the cubicle wall - just why did all remember at what age I started gusting children. impertinent. these people take a pen into the toi- drinking, but it was probably quite Woman: Right, shut up, and I buy Ugly Child 3 What a rubbish sur- let? Why isn't Kimberley Clark young. Some people think targeting you something. prise. among the 100 Greatest Britons? alcopops at children is morally Precocious Child 1: I'm hyperactive Woman: OK then - you were adopt- Just think, if it wasn't for our Kim, wrong, but I disagree - the more and thirsty - I want a drink full of ed. Surprise! you'd have nothing to clean the sick kids we have lying unconscious in artificial colourings! off your jeans with, except perhaps gutters, or in hospital beds under- Irritating Child 2: I'm too happy - I Getting kids into drinking also for spare copies of Felix. Now, this going liver transplants, the less of want a natural depressant! means that they should be well column may be full of bile, but I the little bastards we have taking up Ugly Child 3: And I want a surprise! prepared for university life. Students don't want to see bits of sweetcorn all the space in McDonalds. If Woman: Artificial colourings, a nat- would come to Imperial with a in it as well. Alex Warren
THE RETURN OF THE 40% DISCOUNT 11
* Subway Restaurants is the world's largest submarine sandwich franchise, with more than 17,000 locations in 72 countries.
* Due to the popularity of our recent "Freshers" promotion for I.C. students. Subway (203 €arls Court Road) is now giving 40% discount off all normal sandwich prices to Imperial College students UNTIL 1st. JRNURRV 2003 !!.
* Subway (203 Carls Court Road) is NOW OPCN FOR BRCRKFRST from 07.30 a.m. weekdays
* Rn extra 10% discount (i.e 50% total discount) will be given on all sandwiches purchased by I.C. students before 09.00 a.m. weekdays or 10.00 a.m. Sundays.
GRCRT VRLU6 H6RLTHV, FRC-SH FOOD SUOUJOU FOR I.C. STUD6NTS Opening Hours €arls Court Road Monday 07 .30 -• 23 .45 Tuesday 07 .30 -- 23 .45 Carls Court Underground Wednesday 07 .30 •- 23 .45 Thursday 07 .30 -- 23 .45 UUaruJick Road 203 6arls Court Rood Friday 07 .30 -- 23 .45 London SLU5 9RN €arls Court Saturday 07 .30 •- 23 .45 exhibition Tel.: 0207-373-7367 Sunday 09 .00 •- 23 .45 Centre Fox.: 0207-373-2548
[email protected] The student newspaper of Imperial College 04 COLUMN FELIX In My Opinion
Behind the Goldsmith Wing of the Goldsmith Wing and Department all the equipment - using my it's worth a fortune or indeed Royal School of Mines building, a of Environmental Science and extensive deduction skills; not a donate it to charity. However Alan rather large gold mine is growing, Technology moving to the top long time. Jones pointed out clearly that and not the kind us geologists are floor" - all very neat. It would seem that Departments "although everyone has done their familiar with... This has all been triggered by have been going through the vari- best to salvage antique items The growing heap consists of there is just simply a lack of space computers, monitors, wooden to store things and a lack of time desks, chairs, display cupboards, to go through the waste properly". journals and the odd microscopes So what can I say? Well I got my plus much more. Scavengers trolley out and now the RSM CSC come regularly to the site and have a vintage and very classy fil- some say they have found equip- ing cabinet (with filing folders!) ment worth thousands of pounds. which will be used for achieves, a Many of the cupboards and equip- new seismograph mascot and ment thrown away are just simply some old student files from the not produced these days and are 50s. If you fancy a new chair, fil- worth a fortune, an antique (bring ing cabinet or even a hard drive down the roadshow I say)! then come and grab it! I have So what's going on? Intrigued I been informed that everyone is put on my detective hat, lit my welcome to the rubbish pile. pipe and went to meet Alan Jones, What I want to know, is for a estates and building manager for university claiming to be short of the RSM project. In a nutshell: money - why it is allowing so "Over the next year, the RSM is the development of the Tanaka ous rooms since July, picking out much money to be thrown away? going to be refurbished, with the Business School which is using things they want to keep and re- A case once again for a lack of Department of Earth Science and most of the Goldsmith Wing. In storing them, for example rock administration, organisation and Engineering moving into the Aston fact this section was handed over specimens. However it seems time? I'd like to see the balance Webb building, Department of to estates last Wednesday, giving crazy I said that no-one was sheet for this one... Materials moving into the only until this Monday to clear out employed to help sell the waste - Carina Fearnley
For the firsstt It i mfe ever J Da ViVi nnlci ' i s going be floated! The Stock Exqhange (jrincini exper enc e is coming to you!
5pm-10pm
[email protected] The student newspaper of Imperial College * I m FELIX COLUMN 05 Clinical Play 2002 - Arcadia
Forget the Freshers Plays, the musical and the Bernard Nightingale, and the scientist (and few clues left what exactly happened in the Spring Term 'BIG' production. The ICSM clini- one of the children of the house) Valentine are past. Bernard is trying to prove that Byron was cal play is the true highlight in the Drama the main figures. Objects, letters, notebooks, involved in a duel with poet in residence Ezra Society's calendar. Produced, acted and furniture - appear in both, bridging time. Chater, explaining Byron's unexplained two- directed in by primarily clinical students, it The plot is catalysed by Thomasina's year absence from England. Hannah becomes concentrates on the essence of the plot, using impending womanhood, a source of tension obsessed with a mysterious hermit who lived experienced cast members, and comparatively that rises as the play proceeds. Septimus is a on the property (and, to her great satisfaction, sparse sets, so the talent of the society shows manages to prove Bernard mistaken). most effectively. Having comparatively few characters, This year's production, Arcadia lived up to Arcadia is indeed very challenging to act in, as the reputed high standards, and indeed, it lasts for almost three hours, and this alone exceeded expectations. The most hardened displayed the calibre of the cast. Andrew cynic was convinced that he wasn't paying Wheeler positively shone as the utterly repul- (excessively) to sit in his own lecture theatre. sive Bernard, Thomasina, was ably trans- With great flair, the props and scenery were formed to a thirteen year old by Sarah Hull, displayed to provide a background for Tom the other teen, Katherine Sharpey being equal- Stoppard's time travelling masterpiece, which ly convincing. Valentine, (played by Tom addresses major questions of art, science, and Sterling) one of the more difficult parts to carry history and how they intersect. off, in my opinion, showed his true colours as The play is set, in its entirety, in a single an actor, as he has become remarkably at ease room, overlooking a garden, at Sidley Park, an natural object for her affections, but he mean- on stage since his casting in Hamlet, his English country estate. The scenes alternate while is involved in another affair. Adding to chemistry with Hannah (Gina Weston- between the 20th century and the 19th, until the complexity an unseen Byron, who went to Petrides) being one of the more intriguing they finally converge at the end. In one period university with Septimus, visits Sidley Park. aspects of the subplot. - 1809 to 1812 - it is the residence of Lord The confusion of who did what (and, in In conclusion - if you haven't seen it this and Lady Croom, Lady Thomasina Coverly (a some cases, to whom) work to great comedic time, you have seriously missed out! Do your teenage mathematical prodigy) and her tutor, and dramatic effect. Much of the fun comes best to make it to next year's clinical play to Septimus Hodge, amongst others. In the pres- from the alternate scenes in the present, as see the real talent in the Drama Society. ent, an author, Hannah Jarvis, a scholar, these characters try to understand from the Sajini Wijetilleka
appealing in the Comedy Club at the Union
Martinez's wisdom and her impish delight in shocking her audience wins them over immediately - The Observer
Since starting her stand up career in 1999, Francesca has rocketed to comedy stardom, winning The Daily Telegraph Open Mic Award which resulted in performances at the prestigious Melbourne International Comedy Festival. She also toured with her sell-out debut show at the Edinburgh Festival, L'lmperfect. Francesca is appearing in the Union's dBs Club Bar. Thursday, November 14 imperial
Doors 7:30, Show 8:30 *#* college Union £3/£3.50 Guests/P2P £2.50 UniOfl
[email protected] The student newspaper of Imperial College INTERNATIONAL FELIX
Bangladeshi Society hosted its biggest event to Zone, to tell strange stories and eat chocolate. date last Friday, a dinner in support of "Bitan", Banq-ladeski S oc The night was a success thanks to the attitude a charity based in Chittagong, Bangladesh. Over of the audience and the kind support of the 200 guests attended, including students and Bengali community. The evening was filmed by graduates from many other universities as well Bangla TV, so many mothers are eagerly await- as old-timers from Bangladeshi and Bengali pro- ing the airing, hoping to see their offspring on fessional associations. Bitan works to 'Empower the box! Ticket sales alone raised £1440, with Women Through Technology'; training women in more to be added from the collection boxes. Bangladesh in usable computer skills (DoC Thanks to all who helped with the organising! watch out!), so that they may work and provide Shamim Rahman, President,Bangladeshi Soc for their family. This enablement is crucial for women who are divorced or widowed and have (Heavy editing has occurred, so any omissions no source of income. These development initia- are on the cat's shoulders... Ed) tives have tangible effects, and should be brought to a wider audience at institutions like Imperial, broadening our collective experience. Do you want to review To the sound of monsoon rain Sachin, the tabla maestro, set a thundering atmosphere for an International Soc the evening. Israt Alam then gracefully wooed Bitan: High-Tech for Bangladeshi women the crowd, performing a classical form of dance event, or have Felix known as 'Kathak' to an instrumental number vided by Pride Of Asia Restaurant. by Junoon. Poetry followed, notably by Andaleeb 'Starwatcher' Ahmed then sang review your Shabnam Parkar of Poetry Society who elo- two beautiful Bengali songs. From this point quently vocalised the charity's hopes and aspi- onwards, our guests were subjected to impro- international event? rations. The audience was then wowed with a vised acts from members of the audience, superb high-energy salsa number act by including bizarre impersonations of break danc- Contact us at Shahnoun and Catherine. Before the ing to singing games known as "Antakshari". At clapping/swooning ceased, food was on the 11pm the MDH floor was claimed by the danc- world.felix.ic.ac.uk table to appease the hungry crowd, kindly pro- ing few whilst others retired to the Chill Out
It's early days yet, so we're not dis- rain shadows in Mordor and things tigation... For more info.- Ahoy there my roving bucca- mayed at the lack of submissions of that ilk. www.atlanticwaves.org.uk neers! One thing which you for Focus on:. Nay, we are happy, Diary As we're dealing with that part may have already discovered is for our contingency plan seems a There's a festival of "exploratory of the world, we can warmly rec- that British news doesn't pro- lot more fun: we hold you to ran- music from Portugal" going on this ommend Hable con ella [Talk to vide enough info, about your som, setting our resident bigots month, aka Atlantic Waves. It's on her], by Pedro Almodovar. This home berth, unless there's a and dim-wits, Baz, Jade and Jean- at various venues, (Cargo, the ICA touching, tragi-comic film has disaster. No doubt you keep up Marie, to investigate a new coun- and the Purcell room amongst oth- been out for a while, and might through a local website, but one try each week. need some tracking down, great source is the BBC World Details of which country they'll although we saw it this weekend. Service. Broadcasting in many be unleashed on will be in the pre- Worth it for the score alone, it also languages all over the globe vious Felix, so you'll have a week features some great acting from from Bush House, (on the to preserve the good name of your the two male leads (Dario Strand near LSE), it will keep country from vitriolic prejudice. Grandinetti and Javier Camara), a you up to date with the world. We'll give you a couple of week's cameo by Geraldine Chaplin For the whole experience it's grace, as we weren't expecting an (daughter of Charlie) as well as a worth listening to the radio; immediate response from you and very funny black and white erotic www. bbc. co. uk/worldservice because we dislike the task of get- sub-film. NB: Contains bull-fight- will give you more details on the ting the bigots rabid (phlegm all ing scenes. frequencies, as well as the text over the place). However, we do Another film that's piqued our versions of the reports. From need copy, so please write to us. curiosity is Abouna - Our Father, 15:00 to 22:00, it's on 9410 How about an African country next by Mahamet Saleh Haroun (Chad) kHz for example. For the Brits, I hasten to add week, for example Nigeria? ers) and includes a set by Lux DJs, showing at the ICA between the that Britain is better than many We dislike another proposal, "Lisbon's best club"; Fado (bluesy 22nd and 30th of Nov. We can countries others will doubtless namely that we invent countries, Portuguese traditional music, only vouch that the music is likely think of; but it is more insular for we rather fear that Middle- believed to have African roots) by to be great, as the soundtrack is (by definition for a start) than earth would surface all too soon, Mariza and Lulu Pena and a cou- by Ali Farka Toure, a brilliant several other European coun- and that the rest of the year would ple of Jazz sets too. It looks as Malian musician. Extra info from tries. Cholmondely include too much arguing about though it'll be worth further inves- www.ica.org.uk
[email protected] For Imperial's British and International students FELIX 07 /Sfe '/
WORDS OF WISDOM FROM THE EDITORS...
Bad news I'm afraid. Ever since Will caught me have succumbed to the glamourous world of all loans be wasted in the pursuit of media excel- with the Ladybird Little Book of Editing on my things communications. Which included head- lence. And whilst the other writers there hid desk he's decided that I need some help. So in ing off to my very first, exciting-sounding "press behind a veil of cool detachment, we threw a clear move to disrupt my power base he's screening this week with your favourite (for professional caution to the wind and immersed appointed a co-Films-editor. Of course, little the moment...) film editor of Felix, the semi- ourselves fully in the film to really understand does he realise that it will be a simple matter usurped Simon. We had met for the usual, its motivation. Yes, I know - we really are com- to bend her impressionable mind round to my intensive brainstorming session that is the Felix mitted and self-sacrificing. But thank us not, increasingly machiavellian designs, as I'm sure Editors' meeting, and after vetting him thor- simply join with us in our quest for world dom- you'll see... oughly (well, asking him his opinion on the ination which begins right here, on the pages of SI new episodes of Star Wars...) I decided that I Felix. Get involved, go to films for free, see your could probably put up with his megalomaniac name in print, and give in to your inner desire Taped to my fridge is an article declaring that tendencies for now. And who knows, he may to be omnipotent. What are we going to do my neck of the woods is now a designated come in handy for my own nefarious plans... today, Brain? Why, the same thing we always media community - and is to be renamed So I agreed to accompany him to deepest, do, Simon, try to take over the world. "Media Vale". And clearly it is where you live darkest Soho gathering knowledge for you out not what you know that now matters, as I too there in Studentville, lest your hard earned Your sweet, innocent new co-editor, Liz
the first of many reasons why it may offend die- 28 DAYS LATER... hard fans of particular genres. Musically, John Murphy has expertly arranged a series of ethe-
STARRING: GILLIAN MURPHY, real pieces that further immerse the viewer into
NADMIE HARRIS, the loneliness of the world - but again fans of
CHRISTOPHER Boyle's previous work, heavy on pop-culture
ECCLESTQN and each bearing a highly distinguished sound-
DIRECTED BY: DANNY BOYLE track, may be a touch distraught to find a eerie
CERTIFICATE: 1 S series of more classical pieces. Maybe I'm too
RUNNING TIME: 1 1 3MIN cynical about the British public, I don't know.
RELEASE DATE: 1 ST NOVEMBER Garland and Boyle have created a truly great British horror movie. They have succeeded in Well, I have been ranting about this movie for blending an unknown cast with a fantastic three weeks now and have finally managed to screenplay to create a wholly new horror con- squeeze myself into a cinema to actually see it. cept - essentially zombies that can run, climb, And the long and the short of it is that you lot jump... The Infected are a brand new breed should too. Where to start though? folks. 28 Days Later... is both beautiful and ter- The film opens in London at some generic rifying in equal measure. If art-house types can animal testing facility. Within the facility we see bear the violence then they'll love it. If horror- lots of mad monkeys (which, in my opinion, is The End is Very Fucking Nigh freaks can stand the lyricism and pacing of the a sign of a great film. Every film should have a film, then they will love it. I'm neither so I was mad monkey) and a bunch of hapless animal ty to predict future trends and to have their col- an easy convert. I guess it helps that they rights protesters, who are of course duty bound lective finger firmly on the pulse of a generation filmed in London and not, say, Milton Keynes to spring our simian friends from their evil cap- (Trainspotting, Shallow Grave). This film in but even so. It's as good as Donnie Darko, tors. Which is all very well, but these particular many ways marks a return to form after the dis- which is clearly (to my twisted mind at least) mad monkeys are particularly mad, due to a appointment of The Beach and it strikes the the best movie of the year so far. I promise I'll highly virulent man-made pathogen known as cinemas just as public concern over biological try not to say this too much more, but you have RAGE. So we can all see where this is going threats is beginning to spike once more. to see this movie. and indeed our first sighting of hero Jim (played Remember, this movie was written before and Get a big bag of popcorn and watch Donnie superbly by Cillian Murphy) is when he wakes filmed during the September 11th air-strike- and 28 Days back to back, then write and tell up from a coma (28 days later...) in a deserted and-anthrax panic, so it's a farfetched vision of us how fucked up your head has suddenly hospital in the midst of a deserted London. the future that suddenly doesn't seem very far become... From here on in it is easy to draw stylistic com- fetched after all. Si parisons with Day of the Triffids, The Omega So it's a damn good movie, but why? Well Man or even vintage Doctor Who episodes, as there really is something for everyone here, well as the work of George A. Romero (as a big which may actually not be so much of a good nod for fans of the zombie classics, there's even thing - but more on that later. The striking visu- a Bub character). But this is far more than a als of a deserted country are spectacular, easi- simple homage movie. It's far more than a zom- ly besting those of close siblings (such as the bie movie - in fact it's NOT a zombie movie. Omega Man). Shot mostly at dawn whilst Zombie's were a horror born out of the intense teams of pretty young ladies held the morning nuclear paranoia that existed in the 60's and commuters back, the camerawork is deft and 70's. Instead it's a movie that deals with the the angles superbly considered to leave the paranoia of today - chemical and biological viewer with no doubt that Jim is alone in the threats - in the form of the terrifying "Infected". world. The director separates the poetic peace- As visions of the apocalypse go, this one is a fulness from the gut-wrenching horror with blinder. Danny Boyle and company have been sped-up camera work and vicious scene famed in the past for an almost sage-like abili- changes - which I think is a great touch, but is Jim decides to take the tube
[email protected] The student newspaper of Imperial College FELIX
the limelight from the lead actors he supports, including the seminal Fargo and The Big PROFILE: STEVE BUSCEMI he has carved a unique niche for himself in Lebowski, where he played a bungling kidnap- Owing to the lack of actual content, we thought modern cinema. per and bowling-obsessed ex-surfer respectively. we'd include random people's rants. Well, Perhaps the most pertinent reason for his rel- Buscemi also made several forays behind the actually its a thing we're going to do every once ative anonymity is Buscemi's propensity for camera, writing and directing Trees Lounge in in a while in a vain attempt to entertain you lot. making so-called 'indie' movies, although many 1996, a semi-autobiographical yarn about what But anyway, here's the first, written by a man of these, (such as Fargo and Reservoir Dogs), his life would have been like had he not become with a scary penchant for Steve Buscemi... have managed to eke their way in to the main- an actor. The film was received warmly, if not stream. Despite having starred in such ecstatically, by critics. Hollywood money machines as Armageddon Outside of film-making, Buscemi is seen as an and Con Air, he is known to prefer smaller, more affable and sociable personality. He returned to independent projects to bigger studio ones, his old fire depot after September 11th, and which 'feel more like a job'. His employment as anonymously worked 12 hour shifts looking for a good luck charm by many an independent survivors and helping clear the rubble. His pri- director has led to the epithet 'King of the vate life is not without controversy, however, last Indies'. year he was stabbed in the throat, head and Born Brooklyn in 1957, Buscemi was to be a arm during a barroom brawl which also involved ice-cream truck driver, fireman and like so many Vince Vaughn. actors before him, a stand-up comic before hit- Buscemi has been compared in the past to ting the 'big time' in 1986 with Parting Glances. Peter Lorre (Casablanca, 20,000 Leagues In a film directed by Bill Sherwood (who was Under the Sea), and not without reason; there tragically to succumb to AIDS four years later) are many similarities between the pair. Although he played an HIV-positive rock star, impressive- Steve has had leading roles, it is while support- ly outperforming the leads. Buscemi went on to ing others that he has made his name, probably star in fourteen more movies that decade, but it due to his skill in playing marginalised was not until 1992, and the release of Reservoir eccentrics. This should not be taken to suggest Dogs, that he would fully infiltrate the public's a limited range: he effortlessly manages to con- consciousness - playing a would-be-diamond- vey a great depth of emotions, from all-consum- thief who refuses to tip waitresses. In an ironic ing rage (Fargo) to stunned bemusement (Con Steve Buscemi. Skinny. Scary. Sublime? twist, he would later appear in Pulp Fiction as a Air). Recent releases show no decline in his act- waiter. ing prowess, in fact Ghost World (2001) earned Pale, weasly and intense, widely recognised The remainder of the nineties heralded a slew numerous plaudits as some of Buscemi's best but not so widely known, Steve Buscemi's of critically acclaimed performances, such as his work yet. Although never likely to be an all-con- unmistakable voice and countenance have seen role in as Mr Shhh in Things to Do in Denver suming megastar, he was ranked 52nd in him cast as the peripheral oddball in a plethora When You're Dead. 1990 and Miller's Crossing Empire magazine's Top 100 Movie Stars of All of nineties movies. However, his success is saw the commencement of his long-running Time, and continues to attract a strong cult fol- down more to his unique brand of character act- relationship with the Cohen brothers, having lowing. ing than mere appearance; consistently stealing appeared in four of their productions to date, David
SHALLOW HAL WHAT TO WATCH.
STARRING: GWYNETH PALTROW, ...at the Movies: 28 Days Later... JACK BLACK (Released 1st November, 18) DIRECTED BY: THE FARRELLY BROS. CERTIFICATE: 1 2 ...on TV: The Negotiator (Monday 11th RUNNING TIME: 1 OB MIN November, Five, 21:00) DVD RELEASE: 11TH NOVEMBER ...on Sky: The Dish (Tuesday 12th Shallow Hal is probably the worst film I have ever Hal suddenly sees the "beauty within" and falls for November, Premier, 20:00) had the misfortune to waste valuable minutes of Rosemary. Aside from being vomit-inducing my life torturously sitting through. For those of you Hollywood pap, the story then goes on to show ...on DVD: Attack of the Clones (Released sensible enough to avoid it thus far, the basic that the beauty within Rosemary (Paltrow) is a 11th November, PG) premise is that Hal (Black) loves pretty girls. I skinny lollipop who happens to do charity work or would like to tell you that it gets more complex, but some such pathetic shit. After tedious picnic and sadly the title gives it all away. Constantly chasing "love" scenes, the Hal realises Rosemary has in I C CINEMA after beautiful women who are quite clearly so far fact eaten his girlfriend, and blah, blah, he doesn't out of his reach he'd have to launch an Apollo mis- love her any more. Frankly, I care not. The fact that sion, Hal whines on about how unlucky in love he Hollywood dares to make a film about looking at Tuesday 12th November is. Well, duh, of course you are, you arrogant, ugly, personality not looks, and then cast Paltrow, who 18:00 - Spiderman fat short little man. Comforted by his equally irri- refused to even consider weight gain for the role, is 20:30 - Men In Black II tating friend, he spends a vast majority of this downright ridiculous. I'm not one to doubt that waste of celluloid cracking on to models and scant- looks are important, but why only for girls? This Thursday 14th November ily clad lovelies, who, for some reason, decline his leads me to the main problem with the entire film 18:00 - Men In Black II slimy advances. Plenty more fish? Try another - no eye candy for the girls. Just call me Shallow. 20:15 - Spiderman pond. Utilising a highly dubious plot mechanism, Liz
[email protected] The student newspaper of Imperial College PUPILS IN SPEKE GARSTON HAVE IMPROVED BY 23% IN SCIENCE AT LEVEL 4+. ^M4^k\lk] I I It's hard to put a price on our children's education. But evaluating how Education Action | %J V W mw ^mf I VJ' Zones are making a difference is a step in the right direction. It's an equally tall order to tjL OCOUNT FOR THAT^ value the defence of the nation. Or discover how and where the NHS is spending cash.
'Vm* / " They're intriguing questions. Questions that need to be answered.
This is accountancy in the national interest. And the place to practise it is the National Audit Office (NAO). We are the taxpayers' watchdogs, ensuring £650 billion of public money is spent wisely through a combination of audits and, increasingly, value for money studies. We report to Parliament, but are independent of government, political parties and the Civil Service.
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Please call 020 7798 7231 (24hr answerphone) for a brochure. Or you can visit our website at www.nao.gov.uk/graduates Closing date: 29th November 2002.
GRADUATE ACCOUNTANCY TRAINEES M40 SHAZAO FIAZ, ACCOUNTING AND FINANCIAL MANAGEMENT NATIONAL AUDIT OFFICE
imperial college a IIHTurn I Alfonso Pineres / Operations / Stamford / April 2002
UBS is a leading global financial services firm serving a diverse To meet our team and learn more about the unlimited opportunities client base ranging from affluent individuals to multinational at UBS, please join us at the event below: institutions and corporations. We are an integrated group encompassing investment banking and securities, private Event Operations Interactive Workshop banking, asset management and retail and corporate banking. Date Wednesday 13th November It's true that building a career in financial services demands a strong sense of self and determination. And that's what you'll Time 5.00pm need to take advantage of the wealth of opportunities and diversity of roles available. Venue UBS Conference Centre, Ground Floor 1 Finsbury Avenue, London EC2
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,UBS , UBS Warburg ,UBS J^ineWebber Financial Services Group FELIX SCIENCE Tomorrow's Energy Supply... from Space? Population growth, urbanization and the beams and then transmit these to Earth. On the In any case, we usually use two-dimensional improvement of some people's quality of life are ground, receiving antenna stations convert the reasoning in our quest for technical solutions, some of the tendencies that are predicted for radiated energy to useful electrical power. ignoring possibilities offered by things such as this century. More people, more mega-cities Finally, utility networks distribute the electricity non-Terran environments where easy solutions and better lives mean more electricity con- like nowadays. to our power problems could exist. Even if SSP sumption. And if we keep our current power Peter Glaser is considered to be the pioneer is not for the next 10 years, it is still a techno- supply systems, then it also means accelerated of SSP concept: He formulated the idea in logical challenge and is very likely to find some Greenhouse Effect and/or exhaustion of non 1968 i.e. 34 years ago! So why hasn't this sys- applications in other projects like Mars renewable energy sources. tem been implemented yet? One of the obsta- Exploration and Space Settlement. cles is still the high cost of transporting the required massive structures to low Earth orbit. Recent researches revealed that photovoltaic thin film architectures were quite promising. Some even suggested that materials for SSP could be exploited directly from the Moon or meteorites. Another issue is the impact of the beams on our health. Still a controversial topic. The pros say that firstly, solar energy is free, clean, safe, and available to all humanity, so let's use it. Secondly, solar panels in space have higher efficiency since they don't have the rainy-cloudy-day problem of their on the ground Space Solar Power (SSP) could be a solution. cousins. Thirdly, in regard to the costs, the More information can be found at: But what is it? Well, it is not new but not ready price of electricity produced by nuclear plants http://www.spacefrontier.org yet. The idea consists of a system of satellites was also higher at the beginning. And regarding http://www.ssi.org/energy.html in Earth orbit. The solar cells in space, convert health, people are still using their mobile http://spacesolarpower.nasa.gov phones, even though it is supposedly harmful. solar energy into microwave beams or laser Francoise Mei
IC Scientist Profiles Felix needs #1: Abdus Salam (1926 -1996) Science and Abdus Salam was the last Physics in 1979 with Sheldon Imperial physicist and the first Glashow and Steven Weinberg of Muslim to win a Nobel Prize. He Harvard. was born in Jhang, Pakistan, and Salam accepted the post of sci- Technology graduated from the University of entific adviser to President Ayub Cambridge in 1946 with a dou- Khan of Pakistan in 1959, with ble first in physics and mathe- the hope of advancing the devel- matics. He decided that his opment of his home country. writers interests lay in theoretical Many of the schemes he pro- physics, and after stints working posed, such as combating land firstly at the University of Punjab waterlogging, failed because the in Pakistan, and then as a fellow government was unwilling to com- of St. John's College in mit the resources. He was suc- Cambridge, he was offered the cessful, however, in setting up an Contact chair of theoretical physics at Imperial in International Centre for Theoretical Physics, 1957. in Trieste, Italy, so that theoretical physicists Throughout the late 50's and early 60's, from third world countries could visit to keep [email protected] Salam worked at finding a unified description up with international research while continu- of the different fundamental forces. His work ing to work in their own countries. This was led to the discovery of the electroweak theo- something that Salam had been unable to do with your ideas ry in 1967, which unified the electromagnet- himself. ic force with the weak force. It was for this For more information about Abdus Salam work that Salam shared the Nobel Prize in see union.ic.ac.uk/pakistan/tribute.html. [email protected] The student newspaper of Imperial College Did Yon Know That CERVICAL CANCER GENITAL WAETS are Caused By Similar Viruses?
A vaccine to protect against these viruses is now being tested in london i %y wWmWk 8 I Hill 100 young women between the ages of 18 & 23 will be invited to take part in this research llili If the vaccine is shown to be effective it is hoped that eventually all young women will routinely be vaccinated
If you want to find out more about how you can become involved then please phone the study hotline number on
020 7886 6047 or email [email protected] FELIX MUSIC REVIEWS 13 Albums & Singles The Datsuns 4/5 Singles The Datsuns Vanessa Carlton Ordinar octane stuff. The first tune on the which is time thoroughly well Day self titled album Sittin' Pretty spent. borrows heavily from a Lenny The next track is their recently This is the follow up song Kravitz riff, which is okay with released single that reached No. the very good A Thousa, me because it's a catchy guitar 25 in the UK singles chart, In | Miles, y'know the piano play- lead rock tune. Love, a quality tune and one of ing woman travelling on the The next two tunes, MF From the best on the album with back of a lorry. Ordinary Day Hell (The M rhymes with brother catchy lyrics and good back- doesn't really digress from the and the F with tucker) and Lady ground singing. Though that was same format. There is still are also fast paced, vivacious, in the single released, there are oth- plenty of piano playing with your face tunes without let up. ers on the album that could easi- very powerful string accompa- Just by listening to them, the ly have been singles, being of the niment. It's a bit of a cheesy amount of energy they inject into same style and quality. song about following dreams Brilliant new rock band from their music exhaust you. What The Datsuns have just finished it's got plenty of energy New Zealand, following the lead Would I Know, track five, is prob- their UK tour, and that's a pity, ingability factor is high, of fellow Australasian rock band ably my favourite on the album, because if they play live anything side note, has anyone "The Vines". The Datsuns though reminiscent of Black Rebel half as good as it is in here, then seen Michelle Branch and are less thrashy, with more of a Motorcycle Club, a tune that it should be a brilliant gig. Look Vanessa Carlton in the same Led Zeppelin feel to them. This gathers strength as it marches on out, The Datsuns have arrived! room together? I swear they punchy debut album is high playing out for over 5 minutes, Toby B could be the same person.
4/5 Oscar
Various 2/5 Sugababes - Stronger/Angels with Dirty Faces Twice as Nice Presents MOBO 2002 The Sugababes are not as fit nothing to lessen the impact of On. The tunes are not new, that's as their poppier rivals Atomic some shockingly bad, insipid for certain, as this is a set of Kitten but they make better nonsense that crops up at regular what are supposedly the highs of music. Now we've got that out intervals. And precisely which the last year. the way, let's talk music. This tracks are that bad, well let's The dirge begins here. We have ouble A-side will do them no start with the first disc. numerous pointless remixes of at all. Both songs are Disc One starts off with what is what were essentially good t girl power but are a lot primarily competent, relatively songs, e.g. Oh Baby by Rhianna more street about it as mainstream RnB. Think MC and Fallin' by Alicia Keys, where opposed to the long forgotten \ 4 Romeo of permanently topless beats detract from the melody of Spice Girls. Stronger is a stan- disposition, and his lyrically-chal- the original pieces. There are dard pop ballad, slow with a lenged Romeo Dunn, along with then some genuinely awful singable chorus and good har- Miss Dynamite's brassy funk songs, which can't really be onies. There's the standard This CD needs no explanation for, sing-along It Takes More. This is called songs because there are bit where she wails a bit it's an amalgamation of tracks what I call talent. The opening minimal musical merits in them, Round Round. However selected from the nominees at tracks are strong and well put and you can't dance to them .ong doesn't really know the 2002 MOBO awards, a selec- together. Steve Sutherland's mix- without looking like a deformed to end, with just tion from the cream of young ing makes this the perfect party chicken. These include 3rd Edge fading away. urban talent. Talent being the CD as the tracks blend seamless- and the sleazy slime Keith Sweat Angels with Dirty Faces operative word, after listening to ly into one another. - with / Want You as well as much more upbeat. Then this CD I would not want to know Top tracks include newcomers Lurine Cato Feat. Royalty's We'll more of the rap/singing thi how young urban mediocre Big Bruvaz and the mindless, yet Get Thru It and Trina's No that's heard frequently in thi: sounds, as this album turned out catchy Nu Flow, the permanently Panties. And the second disc is irand of pop. A heavily pro- to be a major disappointment. cold (is it just me or do they by far the lamest CD on sale in track which I think is 'How can you complain?' I hear never seem to wear any clothes, the shops, with only Daniel of an album track, it's you say. 'There's Ashanti, just underwear?) Liberty X with Bedingfield holding the flag of bit too forgettable. These Beverley Knight and Missy Elliot Gof to Have Your Love and the good taste. The garage section is o songs aren't as good as on there, not to mention the fabulous Black Twang rap on the particularly inaccessible - if you their previous singles but Sugababes and The Streets'. I'm funky Trixstar. Another highlight, can't rap along, or dance to it, it's they're doing well. sorry to tell you this, but the the groovy What's Luv from got to be a bad thing on a party CD right? presence of respected, talented Ashanti and Fat Joe, and the Oscar artists on the compilation does bhangra remix of Misteeq's Roll Sajini
[email protected] Richard of York gave battle in vain 14 MUSIC REVIEWS FELIX Albums & Singles Lupine Howl 3/5 Singles The Bar At The End Of The World Jon Spencer Blues Explosion - XFM listeners as the best album of range, and some songs are aching Shakin' Rock 'n' Roll Tonight 2001, ahead of perennial to be let loose in a wave of sound favourites Radiohead and Muse. to turn them from ordinary rock and dirty garage rock- The sacked members mean- songs into widescreen epics. They f the Blues Explosion is while, decided to form their own obviously want to get away from :k with another single from band. Starting in 2001 with the Spiritualized comparisons sir Plastic Fang LP. Like the half-decent The Carnivorous Lunar (although you wouldn't imagine illegitimate lovechild of Elvis Activities, their second offering Pierce to be as tortuous a boss as Presley and a werewolf bitch, finds them in a rawer northern Mark E Smith), but surely it would Jon Spencer howls and snarls soul guise. be best for them to go with their his way through a frantic blast The main guise that the tracks instincts. of grinding guitar and driving here take are quiet verses making The likes of Muse, JJ72 and Of course, the studio way for a cannon of fuzz and riffs. The Music have shown that you ;s only tell half the Opener A Grave To Go, emits a can produce big-sounding tunes IU have to catch them Imagine this : You're the lead blues vibe that John Spencer used without sounding overbearing. get a truly explosive singer/songwriter in a band. to do so well whereas Centre Of The tracks here that benefit from experience. It's a good thing You've just released a hugely suc- The Universe sees an eerie back- that freedom only serve to show then, that this release includes cessful and critically acclaimed ing and anxious "Can't you feel how the other few could have three live videos to give you a album and your band has played this?" whisperings morphing into sounded. Gravity's Pull is an taster. an enormous tour, culminating in a tumultuous and commanding example, a plaintive acoustic a legendary performance at the reprise of "Come to me". Standout strum-along with a strained coun- 4/5 7bm Bell Royal Albert Hall. What do you do track Burning Stars starts off as a trified drawl vocal which only next? coffee table instrumental before comes into its own after 5 minutes Manic Street Preachers - There For Jason Pierce, the answer is once again the bite kicks in, when the orchestral sweep blows by the Grace of God to sack the rest of your band recalling the swagger of Slide in, finally treating the track to the members and start again. Away by Oasis married to a men- pomp it deserves. Overall, a There are some people who say Incredibly for him, this didn't end acing riff. decent if unremarkable offering; that the Manics haven't made a in disaster as Spiritualized fol- The most frustrating problem is you somehow doubt that Jason decent record since Holy Bible, lowed up with the wonderful Let It that the lead singer sounds as if Pierce will be losing any sleep and while these people are gen- Come Down which was voted by he's holding back his full vocal over his decision. Deepesh erally the hardcore fans they do have a point. With chart per- formance generally being Safri Duo 2/5 inversely proportional to a bands artistic merits, it's no Episode II - The Remix Edition surprise that the Manic's biggest hits came from their Hi, our name is Safri Duo, you that really means every song, not Which is quite disturbing actual- post-Bible material. may remember us from such just most songs, contains at least ly because, judging from the It's fitting then, that this went illustrious second rate dance one bongo solo, some contain severely pained expression on the top ten. Sounding like some- tunes as Played Alive (The Bongo more and some others contain face of the poor guy that played thing that was scraped off the Song) and well, that's all we've nothing EXCEPT bongos. This them (as seen on the front cover), sole of Nicky Wire's shoe after done that has been in anyway really should have been called he must have exploded about they finished This Is My Truth, noteworthy really. What's that Played to Death (The Bongo half way through recording. you can't help but feel that they you say, you don't remember us? Album). The album is just about saved needed some extra material to But we provided a tiny part of the Amazingly for a "dance" by a second CD of remixes by help flog their new Greatest soundtrack to your cheesy Ibizan album, there are hardly any elec- people like Darude, Cosmic Gate Hits package. It reeks of sun- hedonism a few summers ago, tronic effects anywhere, it is liter- and Riva who manage to inject shine and niceness and feels so we are the original purveyors of ally made up of bongos and other some life into what are essential- utterly PC it hurts. These are comedy-bongo-Amazon i a n - various percussion instruments ly still-born songs, and move things that the Manics just Ab(un)original house. How can (and a digeridoo, oh yes. If any- some of them from half-arsed aren't suited for. James you have forgotten us already? one can tell me the last time a bongo-house into what we'll call Bradfield needs things to rant "Because you're shit!!", the world digeridoo was heard on an album plump-arsed techno-house terri- about and spit bile over. cries back in unison. NOT made by Rolf Harris they tory. Some of it is quite good and Charming chiming guitars and It is no exaggeration to say that deserve a prize). OK, they may all of it is infinitely preferable to softly-softly drums just don't fit. The Bongo Song is absolutely the be synthesized but there are no the dirge on CD1. Richey would be spinning in his best song on the entire album, If silly bleeps or blatant electronic Remember kids, playing too grave. you actually remember it then basslines. It does actually sound much with your bongos can be you'll realize what a sad state of like it was played in real life and unhealthy! Dom 3/5 affairs this is. Every song, and then just arranged digitally.
[email protected] Just open up your eyes! FELIX MUSIC REVIEWS 15 Live Review ESP & 80's B-Line Matchbox Disaster Singles Q Awards Party, Camden Ding walls 2/5 Paul Heaton The Perfect It's the Q Awards Nominations bewildered on-lookers. I wouldn't hope as the 80s Matchbox B- Couple Party, and the room is filled with argue with him. Line Disaster members take up people who think they've got a "...And I don't feel I'm in con- their positions. Could they possi- Perhaps drugs, bludgeoning or vital role in today's music busi- trol anymore," they sing out in bly be the saviours of tonight's oxygen starvation would explain ness than they actually ever will chart-hit There's A Silence - and dismal failure? I wish I could say the camp tunes Paul Heaton have. But still, they're the ones then the mic cuts. The band are yes, I really do; I wish I could has become famous for. The who write about music and make out of tune, the electronics write how their rock passion maestro from Hull seems intent the small bands into the big refuse to cooperate, and the inspired an energy in the crowd on transmitting the worst kind bands, so you'd think that the drummer's 'rock 'n' roll' frustra- unlike any other seen before. But of musical torment via trash two groups on show tonight tion looks more like a spoilt I can't. such as The Perfect Couple. would make some effort at mak- child's tantrum. When they are Despite their fury-filled lyrics, The sickly sugared melodies ing a good impression. You'd together, the guitar sound rises their strong yet geniusly-created hammer at the head whilst think wrong. and rises to what should be an moments of guitar power, and simultaneously hoisting out the Poor, poor Electric Soft incredible vocal climax - only it's their delicate additions of sweet contents of the gut. The tune is Parade, where did it all go so not. The beautiful sound that is electronica, the band still lack disgusting, the lyrics are more wrong? Simple answer - the ESP's fine specimen of an that something that makes you so and instruments seemed to beginning. album, Holes In The Wall, and stare in disbelief - that rare abil- have been recorded perfectly to If it wasn't for the fact that half which gave them a Mercury ity to make you wish the night transfer straight to the musak the crowd consists of die-hard Award nomination, just doesn't would never end. Even when the version. To be fair there was ESP fans, the band could easily appear tonight and ESP know it lanky-haired lead singer walks never much to expect; Paul have been mistaken for the latest all too well. As they charge off confidently through the crowd, Heaton has released nothing group on the local music circuit. the stage, muttering some screaming lyrics at random terri- remotely respectable in the last And not a particularly good one inaudible comment - could be an fied crowd-members, it only ten years . apology, but more likely a curse - at that. "It's such a chore playing makes us laugh, not ooh and ah I'm sure there is a market for their soon-to-be-wrecked drum in London. We always end up in wonder. this music, in the realms of bad kit and guitar suffer the full blow making you think we're dead... All in all, a night of dashed taste of cheap karaoke. I would of their disappointment. or shit. Which we are - both," hopes and disappointments. go as far as saying this is the lead singer explains to the Our hearts rise with expectant Keira maybe the most widely sold song in the seedy pubs of Hull, where it is the fashion for the 3372 5/5 damned to drink themselves to death under the terrible sounds The Forum of Heaton. Unless the masochist in you needs the Crispian's tremendous energy such menace that you must pain, give this song an extreme- and stagepresence, coupled with think they need replacing after ly large berth. vocals that you either think each show, and Hilary is now sound like the Chipmunks, or capable of killer baselines and 0/5 Sachit are as graceful and majestic as even a spot of singing on their his idol Billy Corgan. sumptuous David Essex cover. Idlewild - Live In A Hidii It is the doubters who are The set ends with an unearth- Place proved wrong tonight, as he vol- ly thrash, deadly enough to leys through a set, with a mix bring on the apocalypse, before Live in a Hiding Place is th from both albums, from the gen- we are treated to a moment of third song to be taken from tle tones of Brother Sleep, to comedy rock opera in the style Idlewild's album The Remote the inevitably thunderous of their mates Muse. Part. From Woody Roomble's Oxygen. Even forgetting the Namely, Mark jumping up articulate vocals to the mellow, With the rush of young bands words to Snow doesn't hinder onto the drum stand at the cli- but infectious guitar, this song coming to the fore this year, it him, as the / to Sky tracks are max of the show before falling is up there with some of the means that JJ72 are left looking taken to heart by the crowd, just off backwards and continuing to best from greats like REM. A like rock veterans, despite just as much as their glorious debut, produce fits of distortion lying world apart from the raw sound leaving their teens, and only with Formulae and Glimmer in on the floor, whilst the other of Captain, but highly recom- bringing out their second album. particular instantly bringing members just walk off. Proof, if mended all the same. Let's just If there was any doubt before, about huge cheers and waves of needed, that they do have a hope Alex Grant will be able to then there is surely none now. pogoing. sense of fun. continue where Bob Fairfoul Mark Greaney with his Byronic The fact that Mark is so mes- The greatest sin JJ72 can (ex-bassist) left off. haircut and tweed jacket is the merising makes you forget how commit is to be still playing in spitting image of Crispian Mills. good the other members are. small venues in a year's time. 4/5 Chris Thankfully, Mark now shares Fergal pounds the drums with Deepesh
[email protected] If I was me, which I am - it is very important to confirm that! ©PJUP FEES Ik*' there any other way?
Pick up a pamphlet from your Dep Rep, the Union, or any of the information points around College. Alternatively visit www.union.ic.ac.uk/no2fees/ and read the facts about fees.
What's next? You decide! 6:00pm, Monday 18th November Union Dining Hall, Beit Quad
imperial college union TUITION FEES WORKING GROUP Future Peach Competition
Saturday @ Ministry of Sound Friday @ Camden Palace Peach tickets
The first thing I have to say is that it does Located just outside Mornington Crescent Felix's Clubbing Section is giving you the make a difference going to a clean, nicely dec- tube station Peach is one of London's longest chance to win yourself a pair of tickets to orated venue - and the Ministry of Sound cer- running and successful club nights. Peach. These tickets will be redeemable on tainly is that. Camden Palace is a very tall building made the any of the 15th, 22nd or 29th November. After chilling out in the house room, it was up of two rooms (and millions of corridors). In There are two pairs available, the winners to lam and time to move on to the main room for the small Black & White Room you can hear be chosen at random from all of you who the trance. Mr Dave Pearce was on the decks. some garage, but it's in the Main Room where answer this simple question below: The room was rammed, and the King of Caps the real action happens. The music tends to (Pearce) played to the crowd - dropping clas- start with trancey breaks and finish with some What birthday did Peach celebrate this year? sics like Cafe Del Mar. I thought this was a euphoric, uplifting trance. great start to the night. For the Halloween Special the crowd was E-mail your answer to [email protected] Unfortunately Guy Ornadel managed to play treated to a live set by up and coming music- before noon on Wednesday 14th November a set not even worth mentioning (I heard it was maker Future Disciple. But it's at about 3am for the opportunity of winning a pair of tickets. shit - Ed). The most memorable part was some when the best music kicks in. With Residents Please include in your e-mail a contact phone twat taking a leak in the corner, and then Graham Gold (bald headed mongrel off Kiss number, so that I can inform you if you are a jumping around with his cronies shouting the 100) and Dave Lambert often on the decks for winner. These numbers will not be recorded or lyrics to Hey Baby. Luckily John Askew man- the last few hours, you tend to hear a few used for any other purposes. aged to play a good few hours to take me anthems along with the latest tunes like "The through to 8am and leave me feeling in high Opera Song". spirits. Peach is generally a minimal attitude, young For me, the music was too hard, too early - crowd with a first-class music policy. The only but on the whole the night was good. I would down side can be the dirty floors and often definitely recommend this night to anyone who flooded toilets, but if you can cope with this wants to experience a night out at a Super you'll be fine. A thousand people a week for 9 Club. Tim J years can't be wrong? Tim J
Saturday 16th November Friday 15th November
DJ Daj, Fu Man Choo and Mark Spoon Goldenscan
1 lpm-8am 10pm til 6am £15 £9 before 11pm, £12 thereafter Over 21's
Ministry of Sound, 103 Gaunt Street, SE1 Camden Palace, 1A Camden High St, NW1 www.ministryofsound.com www.peachyravers.com
[email protected] "A really big frog... and a damn fine peach" BOOK REVIEWS FELIX
How to be Good Nick Hornby NICK
HORN a complete saint. But why then is himself DJ GoodNews, and returns tending to live at home for her chil- she having an affair and risking it with his back healed after years of dren's benefit but actually living in This is a relaxing easy read, with all? David is an embittered, cynical pain. a friends flat. She arrives before the captivating characters and a story- individual who delights in hating DJ GoodNews is someone whom children get up and leaves after line that bounces along to the end. everyone and everything. His we would all like to know for nov- they go to bed, despite this being Essentially it is story of a married favourite hobby, though, is irritating elty value, but at a distance, quite exhausting and a little silly, she couple entering a joint mid life cri- Kate, and in one of his many a large distance. His crazy ideas on really enjoys the time to herself. sis, Kate finds herself having an attempts to annoy her he goes to how to be good completely alter This is a rather different affair and David has a complete get his bad back treated, but not by David's outlook on life and result in approach to the breakdown of mar- personality transplant. The title is a a certified practitioner. He finds a a number of bizarre schemes to riage, as well as a study on what result of the conscience struggle small sign indicating that bad improve the lives of those in the 'good' really means. Is anyone real- that Kate has - is she a good per- backs could be sorted out in one local community. Whilst David ly 'good'? Probably not, we all do son? As a GP she considers her session for a single fee. David does- undergoes total character alteration things for selfish reasons from time work to be 'good', she believes that n't believe that it will work but he Kate is left wondering where she to time. she is a 'good' mother and when does know it will wind Kate up. He went wrong, she knows for definite she compares herself to the original is more than a little surprised when that her life is going completely off Jenny Lewis David she can believe herself to be he meets the healer, a man calling the rails when she ends up pre- Penguin Books; ISBN: 0140287019 Man and Boy tony patsom man and boy Tony Parsons
est most gentle man you can imag- both adore. But there are cracks in chuckles throughout as a welcome ine. Harry admires him and yet he this perfection and they culminate relief from the intensity of the story Tony Parsons has really excelled is also intimidated by him, he with a one night fling on his part line. All in all, this novel thoroughly himself with this book, a tender wants his own son to respect him which destroys their relationship. deserves the attention and praise it picture of the love between father in the same way but knows it will His wife, Gina, gave up a high fly- has received and is certainly one and son. He studies the relation- never happen because Harry and ing career in Japan as a translator that I recommend, I just hope that ship from both sides and the result his father are very different. This is in order to marry him and bring up Man and Wife and One For My is a set of characters that you learn not just about paternal love. his son, but with his one night Baby are as good, otherwise I'm to love yourself. Now, I'm not the Parsons compares the love of his stand she totally loses faith in the about to waste my money. crying sort but with this book I sweetheart, his wife, with the relationship and returns to Japan. Jenny Lewis found the odd tear making its way physical love with Siobhan, his This leaves Harry to bring up his down my cheek: Parsons manages one night stand and eventually son and he stumbles from one diffi- HarperCollins; ISBN: 0006512135 to capture love and put it on the with the love between two people culty to another. By this point he page in a way that I've not seen who are really right for each other. has lost his job so is also increas- HELP! REVIEWERS NEEDED before. Written in first person, this novel ingly faced with financial problems. Do you like books? Harry's father is a hero, a war begins with an idealistic impres- This novel is not all unhappiness, Fancy a go at writing? hero and he's got the medal to sion of his life, married to the love worries and complications, it has a [email protected] prove it, but he is also the sweet- of his life with a child, whom they sharp, witty tone that provides
[email protected] The student newspaper of Imperial College CREDIT FIRST SUISSE BOSTON
NO TIME LIKE THE PRESENT. NO PASSENGERS. NO NONSENSE. NO HOLDING BACK. NO TREADING WATER.
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It might be a summer internship. It might last just eight to twelve weeks. But, for those prepared to work hard, ask questions and show initiative, it's also a real job with real responsibilities that offers an enormous learning opportunity. Whichever one of our business areas you join - Investment Banking, Equities, Fixed Income or Information Technology - you'll benefit from exposure to senior managers, needs based training and access to a sophisticated, open all hours self-study centre. This, together with the chance to socialise with colleagues and fellow interns, means you'll also discover if you'd like to work for us full-time. We look for undergraduates who think creatively, spot opportunities and see beyond the obvious. It's an approach that's already made us one of the largest investment banks in the world - and which will ultimately make us number one. For more information and to apply, please click on www.csfb.com
To find out more about our summer internship opportunities, please come to our presentation on Tuesday 12 November, 7:00pm at The UnderGlobe, Exhibition Entrance, Globe Theatre, New Globe Walk, Southwark.
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Graduate Opportunities in Law
LIFE SCIENCES
INFORMATION 4„ . L...E,,H,. J I yUiJJLj. .1.1 ,i - > 8 S D J V U I 49 F JLJj^jj^.-W^^-I-W4jt coMMUNrdAUQNs; From Imperial to Law? Why would an Imperial science or engineering graduate want to become a lawyer? Come and find out from John Wilkinson, a graduate of Imperial who is now a partner at international law firm Bird & Bird, having stopped off along the way to work as a chemist at AstraZeneca. Want to find out more? Come and meet some of Bird & Bird's lawyers over drinks from 6.30-7.30pm on 18th November 2002 in the Civil Engineering Lecture Theatre 201. So we can make sure we order enough beer and wine, let us know you are coming by emailing Lynne Walters. Graduate Recruitment Manager at lynne.walters BIRD & BIRD www.twobirds.c om Brussels Dusseldorf Hong Kong London Paris Stockholm The Hague FELIX WEBSITE REVIEWS 21 cetlspacuiy-0 border-lHIr-tdaliyn-riylit valign=botlum--ahrel-hItii://jU^gnogiecam He he! Now is the time for us all to admit that there is a test before you can enter - there is we enjoy Harry Potter even if it is written for 9 password you have to guess, don't worry it - 11 year olds. I've seen men in smart suits shouldn't tax your brains too much but I won't with briefcases sitting on the tube totally spoil your fun and tell you what it is. As a engrossed and I'm sure I'm not the only wit- witch/wizard there is a Screensaver to down- ness. This website is fun; you can enter as a load (for Macs or PCs), it may take a little time muggle or as a witch/wizard and you get a dif- with an ordinary connection and it's not exact- ferent site. Other than the standard options ly a high tech piece of artwork but fun nonethe- that you would expect from a Bloomsbury site less. However, my favourite extra is that you - introduction to Harry Potter, order the books, can send howlers. These range from 'You reviews, biography, there are some more inter- Slytherin toad rat' to 'Do your homework and esting added extras. If you enter as a muggle tidy your room'. You email them to anyone you there is a glossary of all the terms used in the like or don't, as the case may be. There are series, including all the spells used. also owlers, which are nice, including 'happy Aparecium! Hmm, didn't work. But I think it is birthday' and 'my friend fancies you'! out soon, maybe it's time for you all to brush better to enter as a witch/wizard, although Anyway, with the new book and new film up on your magic speak. www.liloasaTiburymagazine.tani/harrijpatter Art far the mare mature Term of the Week: Network A website for anyone who enjoys art, photog- raphy or museums, or is perhaps travelling and Imperial has one, my friends have one in feels they should do something vaguely educa- their house, in fact, I'm beginning to think tional while they are there. A comprehensive these things are pretty darn useful. Two or site of art/photography galleries and museums more computers linked together. Not a com- worldwide, from our very own, lovely Great prehensive definition but it works. There are Britain, to Israel or Australia. This does not just three ways to link computers in common cover the straightforward traditional galleries usage; bus, star and ring. either, there is information on one man in Tel As if just being a network isn't enough, Aviv who produces pictures and sculptures there are many different types. In Local-Area using meat, liver, blood and dead bugs. Well Networks the computers are geographically it's better than freezing them and covering close, whereas in Wide-Area Networks they them in chocolate (see Felix 1245 if you're are further apart. Other types include lost). Campus-Area, Metropolitan-Area and Home- This site would also be useful for anyone It's a bit too orange really (trust me it is). I Area Networks. looking for an interesting picture because there prefer kiwis or mangoes but not lychees. are quite a few rather gorgeous photographs and art pieces that can be saved. I, for one, have picked up a new background for my desk- Calling all budding journalists. From the dotlVIeister top that is much nicer than the ones that Microsoft provides. Since my coursework is now starting to Hello people, hope everyone is hunky dorey. There is only one slight problem with this mount up I could really do with a little help This is the week of the great, the almighty, site. Sure, it is straightforward to use - divided writing the best web site review page the the fantastically stupendous Harry Potter into countries, easy to track down specific world has ever seen. Or at least getting and the Chamber of Secrets, or something information and easy to browse. But, half of it something (anything) printed each week. like that. So I suggest everyone surf over to is in French. Now you are intelligent people So please don't all step back at once, just meet him at Bloomsbury's web site. and as such I can't believe that will be much of think how good it will look on your CV, how If, however, you would prefer something a lit- a problem. much fulfilment you will get from seeing your tle more intellectual than children's books So if you like to find out about art galleries words in print, and other such inspiring stuff. artmag seems to be really quite thorough. and photography exhibitions anywhere in the Get off your butts and do something before I Please realise that I accept no responsibility world or maybe just want a new background I fail my final year. for the actual existence of the galleries men- would suggest having a quick nosey around tioned here since I have not quite been able here. to make it to all of them. Have a stunningly stunning week, gorgeous folk. Jenny www.artmag.cam [email protected] The student newspaper of Imperial College COFFEE BREAK FELIX ?QQ MK II by Bobby Cyclops & Dr Hot Fudge THE GREAT FELIX QUOTES QUIZ THE QUOTES KAMBLINGS 1. "You seem overly upset, Mark. To borrow a phrase from Navaro - Hello Fudge Packers, the old ball-and-chain is back again this week, so you need to chill." I must be on my best behaviour. This week we are treating you to an extended GFQQ, with some bumper sized quotes - be careful with them. 2. "Benjamin is nobody's friend. If Benjamin were an ice cream We had a little trouble presenting you with a half-decent coffee-break flavour, he'd be pralines and dick." website this week, so please, if you have a site you would like to share with the masses, do not hesitate to contact us! 3. "They shall all drown in lakes of blood. Now they will learn why they Remember, Fudge and I are being incredibly stringent on points, so are afraid of the dark, now they will learn why they fear the night." remember to give us all the details for song titles, films, etc. But note that in our answers section, we will only put the original artist, but we 4. "I hadn't seen a body put together like that since I solved the case do accept cover versions, etc. B.C. of the Murdered Girl with the Big Tits." Can't be buggered to write anything constructive this week (do I ever?). 5. "She tried to sit in my lap while I was standing up." I've been having far too good a time away from this place, and it really fucks me off to be back. Glad to see you're all still plugging away at the 6. "Omnipresence. I like that in a woman." quizzes, I particularly enjoy reading your attempts to beg for bonus points, when I know how fruitless they will prove to be. Sorry readers, 7. "I think I'll eat your heart." I'm just really not in the mood for this right now. I would like to reveal, however, that the mystery writer of last week's story, was in fact the 8. "Attention all units, emergency on theatre level. Suspect six foot great cyclops himself, but he was still in too much mental (and physi- two, brown hair. He is one gigantic motherfucker!" cal) pain as a result of the incident to face his demons once more. As for the identity of the assailant well who do you think it was? H.F. 9. "First of all, Papa Smurf didn't create Smurfette. Gargamel did. She was sent in as Gargamel's evil spy with the intention of destroying the Smurf village, but the overwhelming goodness of the Smurf way of life transformed her. And as for the whole gang-bang scenario, it just couldn't happen. Smurfs are asexual. They don't even have reproductive organs under those little white pants. That's what's so k BLOW DRV illogical, you know, about being a Smurf. What's the point of living if you don't have a dick?" BY OUR TOP STYLISTS £20..... LADIES 10. "There are two things that differentiate man from animals; li we use cutlery, 2: we can control our sexual urges. You may be £17 MEN the exception to this, but don't drag me down into your personal Normal Price ij5 hell." ACCESS VISA MASTERCARD CASH CHEQUES 11. "When someone asks you if you're a God, you say YES!" 'Still the best student offer!' ANSWERS TO GFQQ 1246 1. Oskar Schindler/Liam Neeson - Schindler's List 15a Harrington Ra 2. President Thomas J. Whitmore/Bill Pullman - Independence Day South Kensington 3. Pat Healy/Matt Dillon - There's Something About Mary London SW73ES 4. Mr. Bludworth/Tony Todd - Final Destination 5. Pvt. Jack Bell/Ben Chaplin - The Thin Red Line (1998) 6. Danny Oldsen/Peter Capaldi — Mac Maclntyre/Peter Riegert - Local Hero Telephone 020 7823 8968 ^ 7. Dr. Ross Jennings/Jeff Daniels - Arachnophobia [email protected] The Great Felix Quotes Quiz FELIX COFFEE BREAK CjFL Q (THE FIRST ONE) THE GREAT FELIX LYRICS QUIZ LEADER BOARDS THE LYRICS GFQQ GFLQ 1 they're held for pleasure they're the balls that I like best." Name Score Name Score Richard Hutchinson 28 50D 44 2 "Revvin' up your engine, listen to her howlin' roar. Metal under 50D 28 Jennifer Williams 43.5 tension, beggin' you to touch and go." Jennifer Williams 26.5 Ongar Rd Massif 42.5 Ongar Rd Massif 25.5 Richard Hutchinson 39.5 3 "Where have you gone, Joe DiMaggio? A nation turns its lonely eyes Luke McManus 24.5 Luke McManus 38.5 to you." Chris ince 22 Chris ince 32.5 Geoff Lay 22 Christopher Dent 32.5 4 "Well you burst on the scene, already a legend. The unwashed JMC4 Coalition 20.5 Samuel Jackson 32.5 phenomenon, the original vagabond." Samuel Jackson 20.5 Geoff Lay 32.5 Fred Marquis 20.5 JMC4 Coalition 32 5 "Life is a cigarette, smoked till the end!" Alexander Plato 20.5 Anthony Jude Rodrigues 23 6 "Your rain on the top was short like leprechauns, as I crush so called willies thugs and rapper dons. Get in that ass, quick fast, like ULTRALEAGUE Rammadhan. It's that rap phenomenon " 7. "Now I've fallen in deep, slow silent sleep. It's killing me, I'm Name Score Name Score dying... 50D 72 Rosemary Chandler 33.5 ...to put a little bit of sunshine in your life." Jennifer Williams 70 Richard Moore 31 Ongar Rd Massif 68 Chris Tickner 17.. 5 8. "Well let me welcome everybody to the wild wild west. The state Richard Hutchinson 67.5 Ruth Loeffler 15.. 5 that's untouchable like Elliot Ness." Luke McManus 63 Christopher Pollock 15 Chris Ince 54.5 Rebecca Newman 13 9. "Man what in the world is happening down at the end of the hall? Geoff Lay 54.5 Leo Harrison 12.1 I don't have a clue, let's check this thing out!" Samuel Jackson 53 Ben Dudson 10 JMC4 Coalition 52.5 Kev Fox 6.5 10. "With a few red lights an' a few old beds, we made a place to sweat. Christopher Dent 52 No matter what we get out of this, I know... Anthony Jude Rodrigues 37 50D still in the lead, but the ...I know we'll never forget." John Anderson 35.5 Ongar Rd Massif are closing the David Mercer 34.5 gap and Christopher Dent is bring- ANSWERS TO GILO 1240 ing up the rear (no surprise there). 1. Shed Seven - Chasing Rainbows WEBSITE OF THE WEEK 2. Bob Dylan - Like a Rolling Stone www.cheeseracing.org 3. Don McLean - American Pie Synopsis: Take some ordinary processed cheese slices (leave in wrap- 4. Survivor - Eye of the Tiger pers) and place in a red-hot barbeque. The first slice to inflate to its max- imum volume is declared the winner - behold the art of (professional) 5. John Lennon - Jealous Guy cheese racing. 6. Chuck Berry - Rock and Roll Music Rating: Compared to Extreme Ironing, this sport is dilute in daring. However, like all good games, this one is simple - requiring only two 7. Europe - The Final Countdown pieces of equipment: a BBQ (preferably a disposable one) and n processed cheese slices (where n is the number of players). A good hon- 8. Bran Van 3000 - Drinking in L.A. est website, with plenty of information, history, instructions and most importantly, pictures. Try this out for yourselves at your next BBQ. 9. Avalanches - Frontier Psychiatry Coffeebreak score: 6/10 10. Elton John - Rocket Man [email protected] The Great Felix Lyrics Quiz FELIX Felix Crossword 1247 By Boris the Inquisitive Goat Across Down I First pub, or is Malcom 2 To put forward for standing just a pithy comment? (8) still (7) 6 Gad about aquiring new 3 Regulation for one gismo (6) employed in munitions (9) 9 Dirty identification is need- 4 Citizen Ian goes after awful ed after sword, we hear din (6) (6) 5 Soviet politician has a 10 Tongue time, after strange drink and throws a fire- angul (8) bomb (7, 8) II Depressed, not up, in plas- 6 Revise computing - not ter of Paris (8) me! About birth (8) 12 "Tu va lui", without one 7 Little Anna is after Ragu Pacific Island (6) sauce for a stimulating 13 Restraints about naughty ingredient (7) sin (5) 8 Butch tree used for 14 Above headless breach, weapon of war (9) one stretches too far (9) 13 Diverts colour - Infra Red? 17 Take down tent, lan's on Initially, Euorpean commis- prison duty (9) sion takes sides (9) 19 Nearly a fight (5) 15 Decorates Eric's master in 22 Attacker - one in short rad- dynasty (9) ical Queen (6) 16 Computing time, man 23 King Prawn takes a quick repeats (8) break and fires an old bag 18 Day travellers often fall (8) over (7) ANN SHEARER 24 Not everybody's drink (8) 20 Unusual cat soup found 25 Al and Birt form a clan (6) along the beach (2, 5) 26 Take margerine before in 21 Old and tired history isn't Imperial College's unhappy state (6) thrilling initially (4, 2) Writing Fellow 27 Brief literature, one entrance to lawsuit (7) is available for consultation during term Open to students (UG & PG) and staff Nobody expects the Boris inquisition. My chi ef weapon is fear - fear and suprise and nobody was more suprised than I to find a clue missing last week as many of you spotted. However, the num- Funded by the Royal Literary Fund, the consultations ber of you that still managed to guess the right answer (tumbler) are FREE and PRIVATE was quite incredible - give yourselves a pat on the back. The entries are flooding in to the Felix office and [email protected] (no reports to lecturers) and all correct entries will be entered into the grand prize draw at the end of the year. But of course, you knew that already. Peter Parkinson - DOC III is this week's winner and wins the APPOINTMENTS AVAILABLE admiration of us all, but nothing really worth having I'm afraid. Tuesdays (3 - 6pm) The cryptic crossword device which I've decided to focus on this Wednesdays (11 - 2pm) week is the modest anagram. This can be indicated by just about Most consultations will be 30 minutes, one-to-one any word that implies change or something being wrong. Here's an example: Small group consultations can be arranged, where practical Is Rob confused about my name? (5) CONTACT ANN AT Would be 'Boris'. Keep sending in those answers... [email protected]. uk Answers to 1246 Civil Engineering Building, Room 322 Across: Triassic, Atrium, Aisle, Kick Start, Armstrong, Alibi, Trireme, Maoism, Act Two, Fall Comma, Homonymic, Medicinal, Tutor, Inmost, Orthicon. FOR BOOKINGS: Down: Tea Party, Insomniac, Smelt, Irksome, Tesla Coil, Iraqi, 'phone Anna Hikel x46002 Matrix, Ice Gem, Entrances, Stigmatic, Electron, Oohing, Fumbler, Scampi, Madam, Notch. [email protected] Make sure all entries have your name, department and year clearly marked Non-hierarchical structure.* * A concept found only in companies employing one person. Decision support for graduates Autumn Presentation 19/11/02 Rembrandt Hotel, 11 Thurloe Place, London, SW7 2RS If you want to hear the whole truth about life as a graduate, attend Accenture's presentation on 19 November at 6pm. It's all pretty informal, so we hope you will get involved. Please sign up at [email protected], giving us your name and degree subject, and await a confirmation e-mail. Please bring the e-mail with you on the day. More plain talking can be found at www.accenture.com/decision- support Accenture is committed to being an equal opportunity employer. accenture Consulting Technology Outsourcing Alliances Innovation delivered. FELIX SPORT 27 Everyone else had disappeared, and we were confronted by a big gate with an extremely large padlock. We thought about ram- raiding it, but then reconsidered Boys, Girls and at the thought of the already dilapidated state of the Union minibus fleet. So off set Gavin and I, through the woods of Egham, trying to find security. When we eventually found Shuttlecocks them, we were further delayed by their disbelief that such a thing could happen, and by the security guard's insistence that I Picture the scene: it's determination having lost the 15-2, and we all waited expec- should celebrate Celtic's victory Halloween, the middle of the first one. Watching this game I tantly for them to wrap up the over Blackburn with him, just night, the wind is whistling suddenly realised how mixed match. Unsurprisingly, they did- because I happened to ask the through the trees, the shadows doubles should be played. Now, n't. Well, not straight away. In result with a vaguely Scottish are dancing and Minna wants if only I could do it. keeping with the night's sense of accent. It shames me even now. chocolate. It doesn't get much Unfortunately, on the other court drama and excitement, they did- With our knight in shining more scary. But why is it in a Belinda and Chan struggled n't win it until 17-15 in the armour on the way, we headed sports report? against the second couple, and third. A truly stunning victory, back to the minibus to wait for The night started off normally lost two hard-fought games. especially considering the added our liberation. Finally the guard enough; most of the team, tired Gavin and I then continued pressure of everyone watching, came and opened the gate. And, and hungry, stood outside the this losing streak by losing to the and it being after 11pm. of course, the bus wouldn't Union waiting for Gavin, our third couple, mainly due to my Our departure from Royal start. And when it did, and we ever-punctual captain. We were inability to serve and Gavin's Holloway was slightly delayed were on our way, inevitably, the about to embark on the first leg inability to hit anything in the by Gavin's ineptitude in getting M4 was closed. So the tubes of our quest for mixed doubles court. But he had just had his dressed - well, he's more used to had stopped and everyone had glory against the might of Royal racquet re-strung, so we might the other way round. This paled to be dropped at their door. The Holloway. Amazingly, despite a let him off. Meanwhile, Minna into insignificance though com- last of us got home at 2am. I'm distinct lack of preparedness and Kee demonstrated their pared to the delay caused by tired just writing about it. But and going against all past superiority by polishing off the being locked in the car park. we won. Hurrah. Sarah records, we arrived early for the third couple without even break- match, and could have carried ing sweat and Belinda and Chan out a proper warm-up. Could couldn't overcome superwoman. Science & Technology Fair: have. Instead, I digested my So Royal Holloway were 3-2 up large Burger King meal, Minna with four games to play. Onto French Grandes Ecoles exhibition headed for the vending court stepped Gavin and I, the machines and Gavin chatted up antithesis of the ideal doubles at Imperial College the opposite team's captain. team, desperately needing to And so to the match. Royal beat their second couple. It was Holloway had only managed to a match to end all matches. One Friday 15 November 2002: 2pm-5.30pm and member from each team was secure two courts, the other half Saturday 16 November 2002: 10 am-4pm severely handicapped by the of the gym being occupied by Imperial College, Great Hall temporary loss of one ankle and scary people in black suits doing ADMISSION FREE what looked like an elaborate I earned myself the incongruous nickname Miss Whiplash - I'm a form of the Hokey Kokey. This If you are contemplating a career in science and technology, make sure good girl, I am - due to a arrangement left me - a a lowly you know about international opportunities and in particular about the propensity for whacking my leg third coupler - free to watch the programmes specially designed for foreign students offered by world- quite hard with my racquet, first two matches. On paper, wide known French Grandes Ecoles. these should have been the best whenever I arsed something up, which was quite often. Yes, I two matches - first vs. first and Engineering courses in France are high level science-based studies, second vs. second. They didn't still have the bruises. No, you can't see them. Anyway, we with a strong emphasis on mathematics. They include modules in eco- disappoint. The girl in the Royal nomics and management, and lead to senior positions in both the pri- Holloway first couple was the managed to come out on top and needed to win two of the vate and public sectors. To discover the unique possibilities offered by best female we've ever seen play French Grandes Ecoles, come and talk to the exhibitors. in a ULU league - quick, strong last three to win the match. and clever, and she added enter- Obviously, Minna and Kee won Programme of presentations: tainment value by abusing her- with the minimum of bother. 14.00: INSA Toulouse & INSA LYON self in a variety of languages. Equally obviously, Gavin and I 14.30: Institut National Agronomique Paris-Grignon (INA P-G) Despite being up against super- didn't even get a point against 15.00: Universite Technologique de Compiegne (UTC) woman, our first couple, Minna their number ones. And so it 15:30: Institut National Polytechnique de Grenoble (INPG) and Kee, managed to pull came down to Belinda and 16.00: Institut Francais de Mecanique Avancee (IFMA) through three hard games, Chan. They'd managed to cream 16.30: Ecole Polytechnique showing excellent resilience and the RH pair in the first game, 17.00: Fondation Gay-Lussac et ENSC-Rennes [email protected] All match and event reports are welcome. SPORT FELIX LSE defeated UCL go down Fitzpatrick are proud sponsors of Imperial College Rugby Club one nil at half time. IC III 4 - 3 UCL II Again IC pushed forward at no.8, due to his telling the Ref the start of the second half and FITZTATniCK. i to f**k off made the possibility This was always going to be a the score was made an unbe- C ft £ A T I V : CChSTfS-JCTIOh of a merger less appealing. tough match for the newly pro- lievable 2-0 after Henry man- The game was all nip and tuck moted thirds against title hope- aged to curl the ball from the IC I 23 - 19 LSE I throughout the second half, no fuls UCL testing us to see if we corner of the box into the oppo- intended pun on Mo's intended are in ULU Premier 2 just to site top corner of the goal leav- Although the ginger content was lancing of his baby-sized cyst. make up the numbers. ing the keeper helpless. not as high this week, the IC Eventually, IC pulled clear With perfect weather condi- Before long the thirds made it machine went marching on. with a try from Duncan 'Never tions IC kicked off and started 3-0 when Anand finished a solo However, the closeness of the shag your lab partner, your brightly and were bold in their effort by sliding the ball under game ensured that the 2's - after grades aren't worth it' attempts to get an early goal. the advancing keeper but our a 67-0 drubbing of Chichester - Rutherford. Before long we were rewarded luck was to run out as UCL at last got their fair share of the In conclusion, Alex James got with a penalty as captain Henry changed formation and began to day's excitement. Mo's cyst and man-of-the-match after a ster- dribbled into the opposition box force us back, while at the same the negative effect it had on ling performance in the backs. and was clumsily fouled from time beginning to lose their tem- team moral could only be to Get in there quickly Virgins, his behind. Not having assigned a pers. blame. looks are fading fast from the penalty taker beforehand I With only 10 minutes remain- The game started with two constant punishment he keeps stepped up to take the penalty ing the score was 4-2 after a fantastic penalties from getting. myself but fired the ball straight succession of UCL corners and a Jonathan 1 went out with Ollie Our Mr. Protherough had a at the keeper who luckily parried Gary 'thong boy' own goal but IC last night' Spencer. However surprisingly quiet game - is it the ball to quick thinking Alex managed just to hold on with before the half was out LSE, the opposition or his new found de Luca who promptly dis- UCL hitting the bar twice in the wearing a thieved Saracens kit media coverage that is harming patched the ball into the roof of dying seconds of the game. The took a narrow lead 7 - 6 after a his game? He's alright girls, the net. final score was a memorable 4- well worked try. As our main supposedly he wants a quiet one After absorbing long periods of 3 victory for IC thirds, especial- academic competition in tonight. The legend of Herpes pressure during the remainder of ly with the impending merger of London, the sin binning of their lives on! the first half, the score was still the clubs. Owe football on the Seconds double Fitzpatrick are proud sponsors of Imperial College Rugby Club h& Unci's * i * imperial imperial college \JF7TZPATItICIi \ college union IC II 22 - 16 ICSM union CHARING CROSS BAR CR&AT1VI COliSTS'jniOti (WEEK DATS ONLY] For the first time in the history of Sat 9th Nov IC II 67 - 0 Chichester IC rugby - we think - the seconds 12+15pm Man City v Man Utd demolished the supposed might 2.30pm England v New Zealand (RU) Following the disappointing start of the medics. Despite the thiev- to the season the 2nds ery of "the unit" by the firsts 6*15pm GB & Ireland v New Zealand (RL) unleashed themselves on a moments before kick off we got Chichester side at Harlington, off to a good start with Andy "I Sun 10th Nov who could offer only token resist- hate being subbed" Nelson 2pm West Ham v Leeds ance as Imperial rampaged to checking out the view from under 4pm Sunderland v Spurs victory. their posts within five minutes. Raphael 'The Frenchy' was Hard though they tried the dominant throughout scoring an medics were unable to shackle Tues 12th Nov 7.45pm unprecedented five tries from the down our beloved Silvia. More Basle v Liverpool back row! However, Will 'Fancied tries from Adrienne "the belly", a 10 minute rest' Green, 2nd XV Will "can I play on the wing" and Captain was sporadically incom- Richard "what 1st team" Pivver Wed 13th Nov petent and was banished to the proved harder to stomach for the Feuenoord v Newcastle 7.45pm touchline for a possibly slightly medics than a good anal cist over exuberant tackle, which (Mo). So once again Silvia stopped somewhere short of reigned victorious thanks to man Thurs 31st Oct 8pm assault but was something more of the match Try Shy Tim Skirrow than touchy-feely behind the bike and the awe that is our Gallic Blackburn Aovers v Celtic shed. Adrien 'Spell my name with back five. And in case I forgot to an a' also turned up. Hamish 'Its mention, yes, we beat the (Charing Cross only) my birthday' threw up a lot. medics. [email protected] Won? Lost? Tell us about it.