Felix Issue 1223, 2002
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The Student Newspaper of Imperial College 6 A 2-/2. Felix's patented double Everything you ever REFERENCE entry crossword gives wanted to know about you pondering material. the Virgins... ever... COLLECTION Page 22 Page 27 Imperial College and Science Museum Libraries Top Up Fees Abandoned? In a dramatic about face the government higher education funding in January, but this is appears to have backed down over the issue of the first clear sign that the government is lis- top up fees. tening to the concerns of students. It is expect- Somewhere between ten and twenty thou- ed that this paper will - rather than giving the sand students from all over the country gath- green light for top up fees as had been feared - ered in London on Wednesday to protest the suggest the introduction of a graduate tax com- fact that the government seemed to be on the bined with an extended loans system. This will verge of forcing top up fees upon students, and hopefully deal with the financial crisis currently that evening Tony Blair, the Prime Minister, facing our entire higher education system. seemingly signalled a drastic policy reversal. Very few Imperial College students attended This was due, he said, to such a policy possibly the march, with the exception of a large group leading to a divisive and elitist system. It may of medical students, reported to number three be closer to the truth, however, that he backed hundred and fifty. The poor attendance has down over growing fears that the issue could do Westminster U-Turn been blamed on a lack of publicity from the to his government what the poll tax did to that Union, which is believed to be due to the fact of Margaret Thatcher. may now take, and strongly implies that the that they did not feel that funds should be The education secretary, Charles Clarke, plans outlined in the paper that was presented directed towards an NUS event, after the echoed the words of Tony Blair by stating that to College council a matter of weeks ago will resounding 'No' vote in last year's referendum. students would only have to pay 'hundreds have to be rethought. This has caused a certain amount of anger rather that thousands of pounds' upfront. This A final decision on the subject is not expect- within the student body, as it is felt that the would certainly put many restrictions on the ed until after the publication of the issue of fees and student financing should be direction that our Rector, Sir Richard Sykes, Government's much discussed white paper on greater than that of student politics. Alex Summer Job Centre Alex gets festive. And if you Over 1000 students passed such as UBS and JP Morgan Sumeet Bhalla and Engineering believe that... P&j through the first ever Internships through to small engineering firms Faculty Principal Professor John Fair held at Imperial College on such as Energy Scitech as well as Perkins were a mixed success Further surreal (and mildly abu- Wednesday, organised by the City the Undergraduate Research with the microphone volume a lit- sive) ramblings from our Wye & Guilds College Union Internship Opportunities Programme (UROP) tle low to be heard over the correspondent and several Centre. Unlike the Careers Fair, from within college. "This event crowd, Santas. the Internships Fair was organised has been a phenomenal success Nevertheless, well over 500 entirely by student volunteers and and I'm very pleased with the students had logged onto the Further evidence of moor was specifically aimed at non final turnout both from students and Internship Centre site by hoaxary explained away by our | year students and designed to companies," said C&G Internship Wednesday evening. The site is resident anti-sceptic. help students obtain summer Centre Co-ordinator Shrenik Patel. currently listing over 150 place- placements rather than jobs after The fair also hosted the launch ments at different companies If you finish the Felix cross- graduation. of the Internship Centre (on-line at open to Imperial College students word, then look no further for Students could visit around fif- http://www.cgcu. net/i nternsh i ps/) with more expected to be added more Christmas diversion... teen stands in the Great Hall with though the presentations by City & as the year goes on. 6th December 2002 the companies ranging from giants Guilds College Union President Oliver Pell "We're going to get you, you freaknuts..." http://www.union.ic.ac.uk/felix/ [email protected] 02 NEWS FELIX News In Brief FELIX Apology It would seem that the story on the Issue 1251 front page of last week's Felix Editor Will Dugdale (1250) on DramSoc was slightly Deputy Editor Alisdair Wren more complicated than originally Music Sajini Wijetilleka reported. As such, it should be Nightlife Dom Farrell pointed out that it was not DramSoc Tim Jackson who were disciplined, but two indi- Web Jenny Lewis viduals (who are members of Books Roz Bulleid DramSoc). Felix has also been cate- Coffee Break Mike 'n' Jim gorically assured by both DramSoc Film Simon North and the Ents team that reports of a ...........^ ; Liz Biggs rift between them were untrue. Science Rosie Chandler This episode has caused a fair THE SAN FRANCISCO Business Jack Hon amount of trauma in the Union this - 1* >-\>m*» 3 Sports Alex Coby week, and the politics of the situa- Fishy fishy fishy fish.. tion have confused even an old Thanks to Hemel & Jack Union hack such as the Felix editor. silver-coated, three-handled pot, is SOLEs Update Felix would like to apologise for any extremely valuable and totally irre- Following last week's article, Felix Felix, Beit Quadrangle, Prince misunderstanding caused. placeable. They have asked that is happy to announce that the Consort Road, London those responsible return the item SOLEs seem to be doing better SW7 2BB Theft Or Mascotry? immediately to the bar in the Union than this cynical newspaper had On the evening of the 16th of and prevent this matter requiring expected. Although there have Tel: 020 7594 8072 November the Chaps Club had a police involvement. There will be no been problems with the site not E-mail: [email protected] very important historical item stolen recriminations of any kind provided working quite properly, and a few from the Union. While they say they the item is returned by the end of course modules missing, most Felix is a registered appreciate the spirit of 'beer tro- this week. Any information regard- students are very happy with their newspaper: phies' and such like, it should be ing this unfortunate incident should opportunity to address lecturer ISSN 1040-0711 stressed that this item, an antique be sent to [email protected] issues. Will Copyright © Felix 2002 [email protected] We're still looking for departmental and halls correspondents Printed by Witherbys, EC1 TH€ FieTURN Of TH€ 40% DISCOUNT 11 * Subway Restaurants is the world's largest submarine sandwich franchise, with more than 17,000 locations in 72 countries. * Due to the popularity of our recent "Freshers" promotion for I.C. students. Subway (203 Carls Court Road) is now giving 40% discount off all normal sandwich prices to Imperial College students UNTIL 1st. JANUARY 2003 II. * Subway (203 Carls Court Road) is NOUJ OPEN FOR BRCflKFflST from 07.30 a.m. weekdays. * fln extra 10% discount (i.e 50% total discount) will be given on all sandwiches purchased by I.C. students before 09.00 a.m. weekdays or 10.00 a.m. Sundays. GREAT VALUE HCALTHV, FRCSH FOOD n Subuuau FOR I.C. STUDENTS Opening Hours €arls Court Rood Monday 07 .30 -- 23 .45 Tuesday 07 .30 -- 23 .45 Carls Court Underground Wednesday 07 .30 -- 23 .45 Thursday 07 .30 -- 23 .45 LUoruuick Rood 203 Gorls Court Rood Friday 07 .30 •- 23 .45 Carls Court London SLU5 9RN Saturday 07 .30 -- 23 .45 exhibition Tel.: 0207-373-7367 Sunday 09 . 00 •- 23 .45 Centre Fox.: 0207-373-2548 FELIX COLUMN 03 AS'132? And Alex Said... Christmas is a-coming and I'll be self as sensible. She likes to save twelve months later, he's not to university soon and the getting even fatter. I've dispensed money by buying all her presents woken up yet. Christmas pudding from 1987 can with the usual rubbish chocolate in the January sales, and then hid- Everybody loves opening their move into their bedroom. advent calendar this year and built ing them for the whole year in her presents on Christmas morning, After dinner, you can regale your my own. Behind every window is a kitchen cupboards. Whenever we except for my brother - he's always family with the same tired double- sausage roll, a mince pie, a small visit her, it is a family tradition to disappointed because he makes entendres about "pulling crack- bottle of whisky and a selection of take a peek and try to guess who'll such a colossal Christmas list. ers". Well, anything to take the crisps. get what - whoever gets the 2002 When he was six years old, my pain away from the feeble You see, Christmas is a time for Christmas crackers themselves I gorging yourself into a stupor, and suppose. After exploding with a the normal little chocolates would- noise about as loud as a mosqui- n't be enough to stretch my stom- Ho ho ho! to's heartbeat, out pops a feeble ach enough for Christmas dinner. hat, a deformed plastic frog and a In the Middle Ages, Britons used joke which has been badly trans- to consume so much food on Cutesy Bunny Wabbits calendar mother tried explaining to him that lated from the original Japanese, Christmas Day that their sleep should find it serves them well for Santa couldn't possibly bring a with all the wit of Bobby Davro.