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WESSEX SCENE WESSEX CENE Swessexscene.co.uk 28th September 2002 - ISSUE 756 - PRICELESS FAN-TASTIC Nigel Massen Q: What have Michael Jackson and the Students’ Union got in common?

A: They’ve both had a dramatic face-lift.

Southampton University Students’ Union (SUSU) is putting the finish- ing touches to a £5.6 million makeover that will offer three new bars, a cinema, upgraded food services and a bigger, shinier concourse. The feather in the cap of the development is a new nightclub - ‘The CUBE’.

The plan to upgrade the facilities at SUSU has been in the pipeline for some years as the original building was built in 1965. Recent activity follows a memo circulated in late 2000 noting “...this building, particularly the services, are long past their sell-by date...”. Numerous funding meetings and project proposals later, the University agreed to invest £4.3m with the Union paying the remaining £1.3m. The comprehensive redevelopment will increase the size of the concourse, which will open onto a new glass staircase providing access to all floors. There will be a larger recep- tion area and an Internet café enabling students to keep in touch while in the Union. What was the ballroom has been transformed into a pub-style bar - ‘The Bridge’, which will feature bar food and comfy chairs to create a relaxed, Brian Stevens pipe-smoking atmosphere. www.wessexscene.co.uk 1872 - WESSEX-freshers 2002 23/9/02 6:00 pm Page 2

PAGE 2 WESSEX WESSEX Wessexscene.co.uk SCENE SCENE Wessexscene.co.uk PAGE 3 The Wessex Scene is the Student’s Union’s in-house publication, writ- The Latest Freshers Week ten and edited entirely by you, the What is the students. 2002 Timetable: The paper is divided into News, Monday 30th September Features, Clubs & Societies and SUSU Bar 1 (Union Bar) open Midday- 11pm Sports sections, as well as the popu- (standard opening times for the term) lar pull-out ‘Edge’ section catering for most alternative music tastes. Students’ Union? Tuesday 1st October Each has its own editor (in turn Tim Rowlandson Perhaps the most obvious of these is Information Service or the Student Mature Students Day - New College Campus managed ruthlessly by the VP the social side of the Union, the Community Action group, but these (Comms) sabbatical) who want Wednesday 2nd October Over the last few weeks you have Entz team has been working tire- are all listed and explained in the YOUR help in knocking out an Bridge Bar opens! probably been bombarded with lessly to provide a range of enter- freshers magazine ‘Fresh’. I will issue every two/ three weeks. information from hundreds of International Students’ Day - Main Campus (Marquee) Starts tainment that we hope will appeal to however strongly urge you to find at 10.40pm different sources; registration, everyone’s tastes. Combined with out what’s on offer and try some- The Wessex Scene Website has just sports cards, bus passes, halls, Free Freshers Disco - Main Campus Students’ Union 8pm-1am the new club ‘The Cube’ opening in thing new. Don’t be afraid to exper- Live interactive comedy Hypnotist (on at 9pm) been shortlisted for Best Student freshers week, the list goes on. November we hope that we really iment! Website by the Guardian Student It wasn’t long before the builders got their toys out The problem is that at University will be able to provide the best Thursday 3rd October Media award- check it out on cont.... everything is run on a much larg- night out in Southampton, if not the On a more general note though, to a Student Survival Day - Main Campus (Marquee) 10am- 3pm www.wessexscene.co.uk THIS er scale than school or sixth-form ISSUE The main bar will take on more of a south coast! Also through combin- large extent the services we provide Free Freshers Disco - Main Campus Students’ Union 8pm-1am. LOOK sports-bar style with a large screen college. Its hardly surprising con- ing our orders with other depend on you. The Union is a dem- Live interactive comedy Hypnotist (on at 9pm) If you have any questions we will OUT for sporting events and a pool table sidering that there are nearly Universities we offer some of the ocratic organisation run by students be at the Clubs and Societies FOR: for the sharks among us. There is 22,000 students here at any one cheapest prices around. for students. Which essentially Friday 4th October Bunfight in the West Ref on also talk of some soft coverings to time. However it is very easy to means that if there is something that Freshers Fayre - Main Campus (Sports Hall) 10am- 3pm Saturday 5th October. relieve the long-suffering users of get confused about where to go to The most important thing to we are not doing that you think we Party Night - Main Campus Students’ Union £3 - 8pm-2am the hard wooden seats. get anything done. remember about the Union is that should be you can do something all the money we make goes direct- about it. Saturday 5th October Wessex Scene Contributors The CUBE will have a capacity of The Students’ Union is the here to ly back into funding other activities, Sports Club Bunfight - Main Campus (Sports Hall) starts 10am 860 average sized people and will help you! Whilst we come under the so by drinking in the Union Bar or If you want to start a new club or Clubs & Societies Bunfight - Main Campus (West Ref) starts 10am be open until 2am up to four nights umbrella of the University we are using the shop you are putting society all you need to do is find a Performing Arts Bunfight - Main Campus (Marquee) starts 10am meeting on Monday 14th October, a week. It will house two new bars, also entirely separate. We receive a money back into the Athletic few others who share your enthusi- Saturday Night- Main Campus Students’ Union £3 - 8pm-2am imaginatively named SUSU Bar 1 sum of money each year from the Union, Clubs & Societies and asm. More seriously if there is any- Main Room- dance & house, second room - cheese 1pm in the Clubs and and, you’ve guessed it, SUSU Bar University (around £1.3million) to everything else we do. thing you think we are doing Sunday 6th October Dear Beryl, 2. The development of a purpose- provide facilities in the following wrong, every month there is a meet- Sports Trials Quiz Night - Main Campus Students’ Union 9pm-11pm, built nightclub should bring to an areas: So what else do we do? ing of the Students’ Union council Societies Room, Building 40 £2 per team. Cash prize plus a chance to win £100 worth of drinks end the shabby efforts of previous * Welfare services (including an where you can come and have your vouchers years, “hand on heart, it should be Advice and Information centre) I could list the 100 or so clubs and say. (First floor of the West Ref) Housemate horrors! the best club in Southampton” * Social activities societies we organise or the dozens WEEK TWO: Events claims SUSU President Tim * Cultural activities of sports that you can try. I could If you want to know more, or want Monday 7th Free Karaoke 8pm-11pm Rowlandson. Drinkers at all bars * Recreational activities tell you all about the Advice and to sit on the council e-mail Tuesday 8th International Studnets Night £3. 8pm-2am The Wessex Scene was brought are also promised some drinking-up * Sport to you by; [email protected] Wednesday 9th AU NIGHT. £3. 8pm-2pm CHEESE & CHART DJ! time this year, with the end of the Thursday 10th Comedy. £3. 8pm-11pm previous policy of shutting the bars Friday 11th Dance Night. £3. 8pm-2am Editor in Chief: Kate Messer early and kicking everyone out News Editor: Nigel Massen dead-on 2am. News Asst.: Ellie Harrison-Read Saturday 12th FRESHERS FROLIC- ALIVE AND TICKING! £25. THE BIG FRESHERS EVENT. Features: Adam Charlton Well, enough of the good news! The Clubs & Socs: Sarah Bennett THE ONLY bad news is that building on the Sunday 13th Quiz Night 9pm-11pm Sport: Laura King CUBE is running late, about 8 Edge: Tim Houghton weeks give-or-take, and won’t be DOORS CLOSE ON THE NIGHT AT 11.30PM FOR ALL LATE FINISH EVENTS. Edge Asst.: Rich Heap open for fresher’s week (everything DON’T BE DISAPPOINTED, BUY YOUR TICKETS IN ADVANCE. else will though). Delays have WAY IS UP! ADMISSION RIGHTS RESERVED. To find out more come to the Holly Boulton and Laura mainly been due to budget wran- information stand in the Main Students’ Union or go to http://www.susu.org McKinnon (Horoscopes) gling but there have also been some comic problems on-site; no one Many Thanks to Nick Hampton University of Southampton climbs league tables JCR PROGRAMMES drew on the plans where to put the For further events please contact your JCR who have also arranged loads of stuff for you. and Vicky McManus. crane, which is slightly worrying. Caroline Johnson Please be aware that you can only attend these events if you live in these halls or are a guest of someone who is! Glen JCR’s programme for freshers week: Whilst digging a hole for the crane the Year award - just missing out to There is further cause for cele- Congratulations are therefore Saturday / Sunday the Freshers arrive, hall open, some low (ish) level music all night The views expressed the contractors found a large con- bration in Southampton St. Andrews, university of choice owed to both students and staff of are those of the crete block, which turned out to be University’s Golden Jubilee year. for Prince William. Vice-Chancellor the University for this achieve- Monday - Welcome disco, £1 entry authors and not a huge concrete block needing to be The latest Sunday Times League Professor Bill Wakeham said: “It is ment. The students of Tuesday - Bands in the hall necessarily those of removed. This, and other problems, Tables published this month, extremely satisfying to have Southampton have long since Wednesday- Back to School Party, the big one! £5 on the door, £4 pre-sell in the handbook. Southampton have eaten into the 4 week buffer rank Southampton in 11th place reached such high ranking in the known the university to be among Thursday !!Union FREE DISCO!! between completion and fresher’s out of 123 universities. Sunday Times league table. The the best in Britain, why else Friday- Summer Anthems in the hall with DJ GG (double G) from rhinos and diva doing garage, house and drum n bass. £1 University Students entry for that too! week and has added another four results reflect the significant would they have come here? The Union (SUSU) Saturday- Karoke weeks to the total project time. A This is Southampton’s highest progress made by the University in Vice-Chancellor speaks for all final deadline for the CUBE has ranking to date - a substantial learning, teaching and research over when, in response to this news, he Sunday - The ever popular Glen Bar quiz increase of ten places on last recent years. The recognition of the says: “I am proud to have joined Chamberlain JCR’s programme for freshers week: now been set in time for the grand GOT A STORY: CALL year’s performance. Such an improved quality of our accom- an institution which is so commit- opening nights on the 8th & 9th of Sunday - Bar open, Drink till you fall over, get to know anyone NEWSDESK achievement coincides with the plishments in these activities is very ted to success and I have no doubt Tuesday - Big event in chamberlain bar - Includes magician, DJ & table dancing with lindsay ;) November. 50th anniversary of the welcome. “The subjects particularly that this success will be continued Wednesday - Scavanger Hunt 023 80 595230 Another potential flaw in the whole University’s charter - commemo- commended for their improvement in the future”. scheme is the cinema; it’s the same rated with much celebration last were archaeology, politics and phi- Thursday -!!Union FREE DISCO!! [email protected] building as The CUBE. The pur- semester when staff and students losophy, which join a long list of Blimey, we done alright! Fri - Pub Crawl pose built club is also the purpose were given a day off work. departments rated excellent for their Saturday - Twister, Jenga and other bar games Advertising built cinema; this is magically teaching”. Sunday - Mega Bar Quiz Vicky McManus achieved with folding seats. This After stating that the University Monday - Drink more [email protected] may lead to competition between has had “an outstanding year”, the The improvements look set to con- cinemagoers and clubbers both Sunday Times notes in its review tinue, and not only in the academic that “the University has achieved field. The redevelopment of the The Wessex Scene Online: wanting entertaining of a weekend. http://wessexscene.co.uk perfect teaching scores seven Union facilities promises a greater I think it’s safe to say that if you eat- times”, and has made a “sharp nightlife for students, while the new ing popcorn you’ve wandered into a improvement in the latest research sports facility will provide SAFETY BUS film night and if it’s dark and you’re ratings”. Such praise led the increased opportunities for fitness £1 TO YOUR HOME. WEEKENDS 8PM UNTIL UNION CLOSING holding a pint, well, you better start University to be short-listed for and recreation, hopefully raising the RUNS WEEKNIGHTS FROM 5.30PM BUS RUNS REGULARLY FROM BUS STOP dancing. the Sunday Times University of level of sporting achievement. UNTIL UNION CLOSING OUTSIDE STUDENTS UNION 1872 - WESSEX-freshers 2002 23/9/02 6:00 pm Page 2

WESSEX WESSEX PAGE 4 Wessexscene.co.uk SCENE SCENE Wessexscene.co.uk PAGE 5 HOUSEMATES £ESS FEES PLEASE FROM HELL THROUGH THE FROSTED PINT GLASS Ellie Harrison-Read ing that their original policies for ures do not suggest the possibility the government’s aim to have 50% student grants have already been education may have been their most of affecting dramatic changes to of young people entering higher reintroduced to help poorer fami- Libra. 23 September - 22 Aries. 20 March - 19 April Cancer. 21 June - 22 July Could it be that the resonating unsuccessful and unpopular to date. student finances or disrupted education by the end of the decade. lies, and those reaping the benefits October You may develop the urge Wander-lust is buzzing cry of ‘grants not fees’ voiced by lifestyles. £5 may buy one quarter Could this indicate that the reintro- have been delighted. It would seem Beryl’s On the 2nd of October you to break away from the through you this month! thousands of students at a rally in Could the recent hype over a ‘U- of a course textbook, but the fact duction of grants is not primarily a then, that despite the shortcomings may find that the adven- flock... Why not break away and get Take advantage by trawling the hot- Trafalgar square earlier this year turn’ in education funding indicate that many will require employment means of supporting those existing, of the new proposals, they do offer photo casebook turer in you rising up. Why not down to the bun-fight (5th spots of the university, just avoid has finally reached Downing that they have chosen this time to to fund the rest does not eliminate struggling students, but a way of a step forward that can’t be weigh up your options and find October). You may well find the being bogged-down in the library street? Recent media headlines eat humble pie, suggesting as it the problems of juggling a part-time enticing young people into universi- shunned, and it is of pressing what Southampton city centre has inner dare-devil in you and be area and stick to clear path’s (they heralding the reintroduction of does a movement away from the job and education. Inevitably, time ty in order to achieve a goal and not importance that the English assem- no. 1 to offer. After all, you’ll probably tempted by some of the more nearly always lead you to the union means-assessed grants to help less hefty fees and escalating loans we spent reading the book will have to lose face? Rather than apologetical- bly enforce their ideas as their be coming into money around the extreme activities. Just remember bar) well-of students would seem to have become acquainted with? Or jostle with time dedicated to earn- ly full on humble pie, the govern- British counterparts have already time of registration..... you only live once! suggest this, raising the hopes of a are we simply vindicating the job of ing a wage. ment could therefore be seen to be done. Leo. 23 July - 22 August generation of struggling educa- the spin doctors by trusting that preening their public image before Scorpio. 23 October - 21 Taurus. 20 April - 20 May This month you’re defi- tion seekers. But under the sweep- such a dramatic shift in policy will The new proposals indicate a clear making a true consideration of what So whilst the student voice still November Take the bull by the horns nitely letting the†lion in ing promises and impressive fig- truly be affected? targeting of low financial groups in students really need and which stu- sings in unison for ‘grants not fees’, If we are what we eat, and go and knock on some you rule! Take advantage of every ures put forward by Chancellor a bid to provide young people from dents are really in need. Support for we are forced to take note that the you’re fast cheap and easy. Lay off random doors and who knows what opportunity to strut your funky stuff Gordon Brown and co, the assur- Early details of the plans, as yet poorer backgrounds with the chance this standpoint comes when it is education system has moved on the pot noodles dude. you may find behind them.... Your and the pride will be flocking ance of improved financial sup- unconfirmed by government minis- of a further education. This is a noted that allowances will probably from when this was possible on a new life-long friends or this week- around you. Best to stay away from port for students may prove to be ters, propose that help will be tar- cause that cannot be faulted; the be less in the second and third year universal, and non-repayable basis. Sagittarius 22 November - ends drinking buddies! wall-flowers in-case they scare eas- more a case of a step in the right geted at school students and univer- need for universities to represent a of degree courses. In these later However, while the government 21 December ily..... direction but a significant ‘spin’ sity freshers to affect a ‘seamless true cross-section of the population stages of courses, when true aca- dithers over how best to present Why not listen to the Gemini. 21 May - 20 June back. transition’ into further education. is paramount, and the image of uni- demic dedication becomes required, their new plans, students from the leader inside and break away from Feeling like something’s Virgo. 23 August - 22 Those from low-income back- versity as a stomping ground for the students will be dropped back in to lowest socio-economic groups who the pack. Lead the charge to those missing? It’s a good bet September Since 1998, the eclectic bunch grounds are the focus of the pro- well-off and well-to-do is grossly debt and the need to seek employ- must be backed financially, are first few lectures and you’re reward that someone else out there is feel- You innocent Virgos! known as students have been united posed government initiative, with outdated. It does, however, ignore ment. missing out on this support. will appear, most likely around the ing the same. Gemini’s should trav- Think that guy/gal in your on an issue other than an apprecia- families whose combined income the needs of the group of students beginning of January. el the dance-floors of Southampton corridor is the person of your tion of bad beer and daytime televi- amounts to under £15,000 benefit- who have managed to get on the Finding criticism of the govern- And when the question of how such this month to find like-minded party dreams? FORGET IT. It will all end sion. Indeed, subsequent to new ing from the full grant - between path to higher education but are ment’s scheme certainly doesn’t schemes will be funded is raised, Capricorn. 22 December - people to get your party started! in tears! Labour’s double blow of dissolving £30 and £40 pounds a week. A slid- none the less finding it a struggle. In require a degree in rocket science - the true reason for the government 19 January the non-repayable grants system ing scale of weekly allowances then a recent survey of current university which will spare them the funding procrastination becomes apparent. Around the beginning of and introducing tuition fees, the follows for those earning up to students, 40% cited being able to at least - but is it careless to ignore Talk of a graduate tax, and the month you may find a craving pressing matter of money troubles £30,000 a year, the top end of this pay off debts after graduation as a that increasing the amount of people increased tax bands would see the from your creative side to find that has become a key topic of conversa- group being eligible for £5 worth of ‘major worry’. Correspondingly, it for whom higher education is avail- best off paying the most back into important connection with another. tion in many a student union and government funds each week. is claimed that about 80% of stu- able and reintroducing universal the education system. This certainly Or more likely you’ve given into hall of residence. With claims that dents in the UK’s universities come grants are sadly not compatible makes sense, but whether New the intoxicating spell of many students are now living below And it is here the help stops. from professional or managerial aims? If so, what are the realistic Labour are willing to hit the middle Southampton’s finest brew, the the poverty line, the image of the Families whose combined earnings families and only 17% from lower alternatives to today’s system, and classes with this financial burden is juicy lucy. student life as the ‘easy option’ for are between £30,000 and £40,000 socio-economic groups. These fig- can they really work? about politics and not sense - unfor- young people has been well and will reap no benefits, though this is ures reiterate the need to encourage tunately often two different matters Aquarius. 20 January - 18 truly shattered. still a low income category consid- and support the later group into fur- It is perhaps unsurprising to find entirely. February ering the average individual income ther education, but also highlight that the apparent ‘U-turn’ for Listen to your inner aquatic So much so that many are being of a British adult is now almost the fact that while 40% are racked English universities has only been This leaves us with a frightening side and heed that call for liquid. forced to ‘opt out’ of further educa- £22,000. Already then, ‘U-turn’ with concern less than half this per- in consideration since ministers possibility. It has been suggested Get thee to your nearest hall/union tion altogether, with the number of seems a rather inappropriate centage of students have any from all other areas of the UK have that amount needed to provide bar!! candidates from poorer families description of the proposals, consid- prospect of help under the new placed their necks on the line and means-tested grants for poorer stu- failing to increase on a par with the ering that five years ago all students scheme. acted first. Scotland has seen tuition dents magically corresponds with Pisces. 19 February - 19 general escalation in university regardless of background were eli- fees scrapped and replaced with a the figure that the treasury would March applications. And just as students gible for at least some financial sup- These shortcomings are well-worth system of paying back costs and save if commercial rates began to be Seafood is a dish best have been thrust into the deep-end port and tuition fees were avoided viewing in light of a recent govern- loans once students have graduated charged on student loans. Come on served when the garnish is where their finances are concerned, by all. ment promise. A benchmark has and are in the position to earn. So Tony, if you expect us to like that at in Uranus. Flee your school and the Government find themselves in been set in the scheme to improve far the scheme has proved success- least grant us a sense of humour. dive into a refreshing stream of equally deep water by acknowledg- And accordingly, the proposed fig- the education system which relays ful. In Northern Ireland and Wales, tequila. Yours is the ocean my little seahorse! Got a problem? Something you’d rather no one knew about? An embarrassing NO FUSS ON THE BUS Dear Beryl, Dear Nikki, secret? A dirty disease? A crush on a Ellie Harrison-Read Southampton campuses. The wide family member? Or maybe you just I have just moved into a new house You seem to be over-reacting a little, Feet sore from dancing the night range of combined courses offered need some relationship advice from with a couple of guys I barely know. raw meat is not so bad. I dated a away at the union? Can’t quite by the university, which pair sub- a friendly voice. E-mail Beryl, We all go out lots and get on really butcher for some time, he was all manage that stroll to the library? jects from different faculties, are Southampton’s very own student well. There is one small problem strong arms and fat fingers.... Fear not ailing students, because made logistically possible by the agony aunt. though: one of my house-mates Anyway, not all students are content among the many benefits of service’s ability to link the different seems to eat raw, bloodied meat. I’ve to eat pot noodles and toast for three The Worlds Number 1 Mature studying in Southampton are the sites together. Student Agony Aunt caught him with blood on his face years at uni. A good dose of protein University buses which operate a but he tries to pass it off as a shaving forms part of any well balanced diet, service with students in mind. But if getting to lectures on time is cut or a spot and, at first, I believed maybe your housemate was just not at the top of your list of priori- him. However, I’ve been getting about to roast up some veg or a nice The network of buses runs on a ties, the buses can also ferry you to more and more suspicious. Then, last bowl of rice. Maybe he’ll cook for regular timetable throughout the the shops or the pub for a spot of Winchester campus to the night, I caught him at 4am eating raw you if you ask -sushi, blue steak, year to ensure that even the most retail therapy or a liquid lunch. Oceanography centre till your meat in our kitchen!! While chomp- something like that. The interesting blistered feet won’t spoil your Those homesick amongst us can be heart’s content. ing his way through a string of raw question here is, why were YOU in chances of getting out and about. grateful for the U2 service, which sausages he was grunting, and panti- the kitchen at 4am hoping to get Distinctively decorated with the runs regularly to the city’s central So while moving to a new town can ng like a dog. What can I do Beryl? eaten? Got a bit of a crush on your University’s dolphin logo, the station. And once lectures do seem like a daunting prospect, its Supposing he’s a cannibal or housemate? Hoping he’ll tuck into buses are a common sight in the become a priority - mid way reassuring to know that familiar something? you after a nice bottle of Chianti? town centre and beyond; encom- through your final year perhaps? - surroundings are never more than a passing a route that includes all the you can ride the buses from the bus ride away. e-mail: Nikki Beryl [email protected] 1872 - WESSEX-freshers 2002 23/9/02 6:00 pm Page 4

WESSEX WESSEX Wessexscene.co.uk SCENE SCENE Wessexscene.co.uk PAGE 7 Email all competition answers to [email protected] Do dating on a shoe-string with cinema giant the Odeon’s free film give away- located at Leisure World Southampton! We‘ve got two pairs of tickets up for grabs if you can answer the following easy question.... Of Pride and Prejudice fame, Nipping home to do a spot of washing or to catch up with old school which British mates has never been cheaper than with a Young Persons Railcard. actor co-stars in Save 1/3 on every train journey the Importance of around Britain and have more money for the partying when you being Earnest? get there! For Film information contact the To win ONE of FIVE railcards, sim- Odeon film line: 08705050007 ply answer the following question... Fancy a break from the endless If a train ticket from Southampton grind of noisy nightclubs and warm to London cost £17.50, how much beer? Then get yourself a bit of cul- would you save with a railcard? ture and head on down to The Nuffield Theatre where you can expect a wide range of shows catering for a variety of tastes. As if that wasn’t incentive enough, Who is Secretary we’ve evn got a pair of tickets to give away for a new show called of State for Cyranco de Bergerac at 7:30 on 17th October. All you need to do is answer the Transport? following brain teaser.....

Fancy a trip to the theatre over the Which French The Nuffield Box Office? For any next term? If so, Southampton’s show information, to request a Mayflower Theatre has got a fab actor starred in brochure or to book tickets please selection of productions lined up for call The Box Office now on 023 the winter months, and guess the original film 8067 1771. what...? Wessex Scene has got some version of Cyrano free tickets just begging to be given away! de Bergerac? We’ve got one pair of tickets for Blood Brothers on 3rd December, one pair of tickets for The Rocky Horror Show on 27th January AND one pair of tickets for Buddy on 26th November! To win, try this question for size... How did 50’s Win a party of 8 tickets to top underneath Jongleurs, enjoy nearly All entrants must be 18 or over. comedy club two hours of comedy then take to To win the Drinks and food are not included. musical legend Jongleurs, the comedy club which the dance floor until 1am. Happy Doors to Jongleurs open at 7pm helped launch the careers of top hour runs from 5pm to 7pm in party of eight with last entry by 7.45pm. Normal Buddy Holly comedians such as Graham Norton Bar~Risa and there’s drink promo- terms and conditions apply. For and Harry Enfield, has got EIGHT tions in Jongleurs from 10.30pm. tickets, name more information call the Box die? TICKETS to give away to one The tickets, worth £8 each, can be Office on 0870 787 0707. lucky reader. redeemed at Jongleurs two comedians Box office details: As well as bringing the very best Southampton, 2-4a High Street, The Mayflower of alternative comedy to Bargate, on Thursday 10 October. who have Commercial Road Southampton, Jongleurs promises The first Jongleurs club was SOUTHAMPTON an all-round entertainment experi- opened in 1983 and stars who cut appeared at SO15 1GE ence. their teeth there include Ben Elton, Ticket enquiries: 023 8071 1811 People can have a drink and a Jo Brand, Paul Merton and Julian Jongleurs. [email protected] or meal in the club or in Bar~Risa, Clary. www.the-mayflower.com 1872 - WESSEX-freshers 2002 23/9/02 6:01 pm Page 6

WESSEX PAGE 8 Wessexscene.co.uk SCENE Halls Heaven or Communal Chaos? Adam Charlton tion, running out into the street with the end of the semester when your a strategically cupped hand conceal- dad arrives to pick you up and you ing your modesty under the watch have to hide it in the empty Southampton’s Finest Music Publication 28th September 2002 of three hundred other students, plus wardrobe. The first year in halls is filled with the warden, is definitely not ideal. fun, frolics and the fostering of Forward your responses to [email protected] Though you may instantly become friendships which will last for the 4. Suspect Stains Welcome to the fresher’s issue of an overnight star and probably Clean sheets are the key to a healthy rest of your degree. However, the WsX and hello to all the new read- appear on the front page of the stu- mind as well as a healthy body. first few weeks can also bring ers who have joined the university. dent paper, wearing pjs or having Though you may think you can stress with the adjustment to The features section includes many clothes ready to whip on in times of make do without washing them for communal living. The following interesting, amusing, informative crisis will give you a much better twelve weeks at a time, getting your tips will help co-existence become and serious articles from a range of start to the day. mum to do them in holidays, friend- a blissful thing. Honestly. FRESHERS’ GUIDE - SOUTHAMPTON’S VENUES writers. 3. Drunken Souvenirs ships are sure to wane if your room Try to avoid bringing back memora- begins to smell like a corpse left out 1. Don’t set fire to the kitchen. REVEALED NO THERE REALLY ARE SOME This issue contains articles on the ... , Unlike a certain features editor of in the sun. perils of communal habitation in Leaders: the Wessex Scene, setting the fire If you get out of bed in the morning university halls, and meeting new Halls: ‘Unlock the mystic alarms off in your halls and being and have to peel the sheets off your people without resorting to age-old Including tips for successful com- swamped by the Blue Watch, body it’s time to visit the washing cliche icebreakers. Devil’s munal living and student survival. READING SMELLS - THE EDGE GETS accompanied by the relentless serenity of soapy machine god who will bless you Advocate, which is a regular fea- Friends Without Cliche: sound of ringing, is something you with a zesty lemon freshness. ture, focuses on budgeting and A novel approach to breaking the DIRTY CRUSHED AND RIPPED OFF AT THE should try to avoid. Imitating Jamie , - whether it is best to stash your stu- ice with new people. No holds crockery.’ Oliver with an unusual culinary 5. Unlock the mystic serenity of dent loan under the mattress, or barred. delight combining baked beans, rice soapy crockery. SUMMER’S FINAL FESTIVAL blow it all on kebabs and alcohol. and Worcester sauce can have it’s bilia from drunken escapades. As Whether you’re sad, lonely or If you have an idea for a story or a Special Report: perils. Try to avoid being lured most students discover during their stressed try washing up to music, different angle on something that Loneliness: away from the kitchen by Hollyoaks time at university, both traffic cones preferably loud. Once you’ve you want to see in print please don’t Alienation and isolation are things or Diagnosis Murder as a neglected and fire extinguishers hold a myste- worked up a soapy lather with hesitate to contact me. I like to ROTHKO REVEALS THE WHOLE TRUTH many students have difficulty grill pan can become an inferno in rious and magnetic force. Never is you’re trusty scourer, like bugs to a include as much input from as many adjusting to when they first arrive at seconds. this force stronger than during your blue glow; admirers will flock to writers as possible so if you are a university. stay in halls, under the warden’s marvel in awe at your pile of grease IN AN EXTRA-SPECIAL INTERVIEW budding new journalist and want to 2. Keep your pants on. watchful eye. free pots and pans. Remember that be part of the Wessex Scene team, I Regulars: When some cooking novice down The extinguisher can land you with no tea towel is required when drip- need you!- All the Best, Adam a hefty fine, which will put a drain drying will suffice. Devil’s Advocate: the corridor does decide to blow up on valuable drinking money. As for Not only will a brief relationship Is stringent budgeting necessary for their baked beans in the kitchen, do the traffic cone, you may get some with the fairy liquid lift your spirits; student success and academic not be under the illusion that they short-term respect from your peers your standing in society will also euphoria? will have the courtesy to do it dur- but there’s always the chance of the vastly improve. Driving Ambition: ing the day. More likely its at four SCR poking their nose in your room Featuring the latest student rust in the morning when they have an and seeing part of the local road- buckets, the Peugeot 205 and the attack of the munchies and have a work section. You’ll never find the Austin Metro. sudden yearning for curry flavoured two-minute noodles. In this situa- right moment to get rid of it, until Making Friends Without the

Organise the party to end all parties conversation and take an interest in at your halls, for which the pass- the other persons’ answers. word is your name. Everyone will have a great time and know who is Ask open-ended questions which Cliches allow the chat to flow easily, rather responsible for it. than questions that are just going to FROMFROM WALESWALES Get out more. The TV is not your be answered with a simple ‘yes’ or Sarah Cooper friend, and the East End Slater’s are ‘no’. fictional. Go meet some real people. With the same questions spewing When you see that stranger in your out of everyone’s mouths you’ll be bed in the morning, it may be tempt- hard pressed to have an original ‘Bright pink cycling ing to grab your clothes and leg it, WITHWITH BADBAD INTENTIONSINTENTIONS conversation, or to stand out from shorts or that purple especially if your bed pal is still the crowd. If you don’t want to and green shell suit asleep. However, if you’ve just be ‘the one that they forgot’, best spent the night with a fellow student come up with some more enter- are sure to pass then chances are you’re going to see McLUSKYMcLUSKY LIVELIVE ANDAND LOUDLOUD ININ SOUTHAMPTONSOUTHAMPTON taining ways to make friends. comment.’ them around campus. Far better to wake them up with a cuppa and be Ice breakers: Join a club or two. Whatever your honest about the situation. Even if photo - Tim Houghton Dress obscurely, those bright pink into, be it sky diving or chess, it is you can’t remember their name, just cycling shorts or that purple and probable that you will meet some- say so. Flag up the fact that you had green shell suit are sure to pass one similar to you. a good time, but be clear where it McLusky Special... Reading Festival... Rothko... Blur Split?... The Mercury Music Prize comment. Introduce yourself early on in the ends. 1872 - WESSEX-freshers 2002 23/9/02 6:01 pm Page 8

28th September 2002 Welcome to... 28th September 2002

Hi First of all I’d like to say a big thank you Emmanuelle and Paul The for letting me take charge of the good ship Edge – obviously their ability to pick a suitable succes- albums sor abandoned them at the last EDGE VARIOUS ARTISTS SUGABABES minute, but hey,at least I get first GIDDY MOTORS Angels With Dirty Faces dibs on the free CDs. THE NEWS... Make It Pop Twisted Nerve Zoo (Universal Island) Secondly I’d like to draw your (Fat Cat) (Twisted Nerve) attention to the fact that this I suffer from an irrational near- issue of The Edge is far smaller TOP Giddy Motors are all about influ- If you are my Dad, you won’t like with EDGE 3am Girl, Rich Heap pathological hatred of all things than it should be due to financial ences. From the opening Royal anything with more than two legs Sugababes-related. Whenever their constraints and all that boring Trux-esque skronks of Magmanic and by default you won’t like this he Mercury Music Prize has be." When asked, Albarn said "Well, "ooh look... we're so much more stuff which I don’t involve myself human being." Quite. As long as she through the distorted New Orleans album. Anyone with a blood tem- thrown up a surprise by giving if you make that conclusion....that's urban than the average girl group" in. Expect to see The Edge T can provide a stable, supportive funk of Hit Cap and the Cockney perature above freezing, however, the award to Ms Dynamite, ahead of your conclusion and that's fair sh*te comes on the radio I feel the expand to full capacity over the environment in which to raise it in 10 take on Mark E. Smith in Sassy to won’t fail to be sucked in by this hotly-tipped acts The Streets, The enough if that's what you think. need to destroy said appliance. If coming months. then fair enough. I guess. the Nick Drake-like guitar/cello animal-friendly compilation from Coral, Doves and The Electric Soft Then that's what it is. I haven't got they're on TV I have to change the Thirdly, in order for the Edge combination on Venus Medallist this those lovely people at Twisted Parade. Ms Dynamite (real name anything to say really." Cheers Things to do in channel. If it comes on in a shop I'll to expand, we need talented and South London trio go out of their Nerve. From the punning ‘Birds of Nioni Daley) was given the £20,000 Damon. Anyway, it looks like the leave. It is serious and, if their inex- knowledgeble people to write E x Pistol John Lydon (a.k.a. Freshers’ Week... way to sound like everyone and Canada’, a playful electronic offering cheque by Courtney Pine for her collaboration with Cook has forced plicable popularity continues to for us. If you can’t manage Johnny Rotten) has been the unfor- everything, almost simultaneously. from Little Miss Trinitron, to the, er, album A Little Deeper but has said Coxon out, which has left loads of grow, it can only get worse. But it knowledge or talent (I know I tunate victim of a vicious beer- these are orders So much so that in some respects it punning ‘A L F is gonna rock you’, that she's going to give the money Blur fans really pissed off. Oh well. would be irresponsible to let that can’t), buying me a drink will throwing incident when headlining becomes their downfall. The speed each track from a member of the to charity... rather than opt for a 1. Get to use the all-new improved get in the way of a fair review.And, probably encourage me to an L.A. punk festival at Devore at which the ‘Motors flit between Twisted Nerve stable takes on a self drink and drug fuelled binge. Oh Union building before anyone else. hopefully, prolonged exposure to chuck a few CDs your way… Glen Helen Pavilion. The national styles is unnerving and lends Make It chosen animal theme.The standout well. She is also nominated a ickleback have announced embarassment responded by mus- tracks for me are the unsettling their new album may cure my vio- Fourthly, I’d like to say that The N 2. Sign up for the medical service Pop a lack of coherence that the record-equalling six times for the their biggest ever UK tour. Chad lent revulsion. Edge, as with all music newspa- tering his greatest powers of wit for when you poison yourself with individual songs don’t deserve. By ‘Tropical Insect House’ (from mem- upcoming Music Of Black Origin Kroeger and chums are going to But, alas, no. With each song the pers, is all about the personal and branding one of his attackers a food, wake up with a mysterious the sound of it though, they’re bers of Mum & Dad) and rambling (MOBO) awards. lots of exciting places to peddle equivalent of "girls are better than opinions of our writers. For this 'turd' and a, err,'wuss'. Oh no, sorry, alcohol-related injury, or inherit unlikely to run out of ideas in the ‘Batman Revisited’ by Mariano, but their dull-as-f**k stadium mock- boys... so there" and laughable lyrics reason, I can in no way endorse I forgot something. No-one's given a never-before-seen genital next 50 years or so, which can only the whole point of this album is that grunge rock. But if you, heaven for- aplenty ("I've only got one the review given to Martin a f**k about the old tossbag for infection. Lovely. be a good thing. there’s something for everyone bid, actually want to know what the about 23 years now. So sorry to who ever cried over their hamster word for you. And every word is Grech’s latest single (see page 7/10 GIDDY MOTORS - s Graham Coxon still in Blur? dates are then e-mail us so we can have bothered you... dying. true. The colour that suits you is 4). 10/10? Everybody knows it’s I 3. Transform a traffic cone into an TH Robin Hood left robbing the Probably not. According to trace you, track you down, and stick amusing and attractive item of 7/10 blue.") this is clearly a long way a big steaming pile of neo-clas- rich to become a bollock Norman Cook, who's producing a bullet in your head. It's the only headwear in order to conform to a TH from being the ingenious mould- sic-miserablist-rock-dung, Rich, juggling painter/decorator... the band's follow-up to 13, Coxon solution, I'm afraid. student stereotype and... breaking offering it thinks. Musically, wake up and smell it… R adiohead are playing at has left the band after not travelling it's Whitney Houston's immensely Oh well, Mountain View Shoreline to Morocco to finish the album or 4. ...wonder if aforementioned item irritating octave ‘Til next time Ampitheatre on 26th and 27th turning up to any of the recording eri Halliwell is planning to fol- of street furniture will leave your NON straddling warblings mixed with the Tim G October. The shows are being done sessions. This goes against the offi- low in the footsteps of Calista to raise profits for a Neil Young room as easily as it arrived. It’s Children of the Black Sun EXHAUST bleeps from ground-breaking 80s (Mute) cial line that although Coxon is still Flockhart and Angelina Jolie by founded non-profit school that very, very unlikely. Trust me. Enregistreur tennis-based game Pong. An unholy in the band, he and lead singer adopting a baby. The talentless combination, then, with its crapness Hi all.Tim’s pretty much said it all, works with people with physical (Constellation) Damon Albarn "are contemplating attention-seeker said, "I so, so and speech difficulties. You’re not 5. Pay an extortionate amount for a Boyd Rice is an enigmatic charac- compounded by the notion that including an unfounded attack on night out, otherwise known as the ter indeed. Over the last 21 years and deciding among themselves would love to have a baby. Having a getting any crap jokes out of me The back-catalogue of Montreal they're outrageously sexy and orig- Martin Grech. Okay, so music's all Freshers’ Ball. Rice, under the moniker Non, has what the future arrangements will baby must be the greatest gift of any here. you know, taste and decency... based record label Constellation is inal, a complete non-argument with about opinions and that's all very released a string of releases incor- dominated by the overwhelming the bits that want to be Massive nice but Tim,seriously, not everyone 6. Get lured into the attractive porating cut ‘n’ paste collage tech- presence of the mighty Godspeed Attack and Supernatural's blatant lives in your nice happy clappy world of music journalism by the niques and has associated himself You Black Emperor! and their asso- rip-off of Brandy's What About Us? world so stop hugging trees and temptations of free CDs and the with the likes of Fad Gadget, Coil ciated side-projects such as A Silver So if it seems like I've made no trying to grow a Woodstock beard, chance to meet the stars. Go on. E- and Nurse with Wound. His previ- Mt. Zion, 1-Speed Bike and Fly Pan attempt to be fair then I'm sorry and realise that the future of the mail us at [email protected] ous releases have focused on such Am. Well, Exhaust are yet another but, overall, it's claustrophobic and world (as perfectly presented by topics as social Darwinism. He’s 7. Accept that all vaguely desirable one to add to that list, although succeeded only in making me feel Mr. Grech) is sh*t. On that note, the edge wants you! previously professed his allegance (and many undesirable) they have actually been around vaguely nauseous. Please don't buy enjoy Freshers' Week. with the Church of Satan and men/women are going out since 1998, their self-titled debut this; it'll only perpetuate their pop- That’s all, Rich apparently has one of the largest with supermodels/judo blackbelts being the first Constellation follow- ularity and my suffering. barbie doll collections in the world. back home, and won’t look twice at ing Godspeed’s mighty F#A#oo, and Thank you. On Children of the Black Sun, Rice Free CDs! Free entry to gigs! Meeting the stars! you. It saves a lot of heartache. featuring Godspeed drummer 1/10 THE EDGE makes an accomplised foray in to Aiden providing rhythms and tape- RH the digital era, with a CD/DVDA TEAM 8. Lie about your A-Leveks to seem loops. Working for The EDGE may sound like an unattainable and glamorous lifestyle, but far more exciting, glamorous double release, but without com- SUPERDRAG and spunky than you really are promising his bizarre outlook. Editor: Tim Houghton This years follow up, Enregistreur, Last Call For Vitriol Assistant Editor: Rich Heap (psychology and philosophy are Dark montages of synthesised Lethargic drums are added and which the various components is a record made entirely on it’s (Arena Rock) Film: Tim Houghton it’s not (unattainable, that is...). If you’ve got opinions on music or films and want to good bets). They won’t remember electronics swirl uneasily while treated with various phasor and fil- interminably fade in and out of exis- own terms despite its obvious dark tering effects until they gradually tence like a metaphor for the col- Theatre: Tim Houghton and by December neither will you. muted horns unfurl in the back- I suppose that this is quite nice. It’s Dance: N/A atmospheric similarities to the pre- push their way to the forefront of lective consciousness of the band. ground. On Serpent of the Abyss got nice lyrics about nice girls and Opera: Rich Heap 9. Find out that someone from vious Godspeed releases. the mix. write, or want to go along to gigs and take photos, then you’re exactly who we’re industrial soundscapes combine probably a nice looking clean-cut Ballet: Tim Houghton your previous life is also here, and with various scraped out instru- On ‘Silence Sur Le Plateau’ the In similar fashion to its predeces- boy singing them. It’s got nice Martin Grech: Rich Heap talk to them despite your lingering ments to stunning effect. On ‘Voiceboxed’, a bass-clarinet driving beat and all consuming bass sor, this record is a murky mixture reserved drum solos, and nice looking for. Whether you’ve just arrived or wrote for us last year, e-mail us on... hatred. You will go on to make It is the two final tracks, however, gurgles before treated snippets of are pitched contrastingly against With: Tim Houghton, Rich Heap, of bass and looping beats welded reserved guitar solos, and a nice exciting friends. They won’t, and that really engage the listener the ghostly voices come drifting high-end squeaks and tones. God,Your Mum,Wheat will always be a loser... so you win. together by the occasional crackling voice singing them, and is, in gener- most. The Fountain of Fortune fea- between the speakers, difficult to Crunchies, Nelly and Martin sample and brooding saxophone al, all very nice. It doesn’t matter tures a heavenly chorus of vocals pin down before they disappear. Enregistreur is a record that is Grech. 10. DO NOT discover the dark and drone. The opening track ‘Gauss’ that they sound like 2002’s answer mixed with subtle found sounds Here, Exhaust come closest to seething with ideas despite the seedy world that has opened up uses a shadowy sax motif backed by to Del A-f**king-mitri. They’re a The Edge [email protected] while Son of the Sun scores highly bursting into euphoria with Aiden’s claustrophobic ambience and static more boring version of that nice to you because of the 24 hour drawn out bass tones to set the beats bursting loose at the seams structure. It’s the aural equivalent of S.U.S.U internet access in your room. with its backwards vocals over an band Sixpence None The Richer, tone and runs directly into ‘Behind and six-string fireblazing from spe- an arctic desert, but with heat-driv- Highfield Obviously it would be immoral to orchestral march. which hopefully says it all. But it’s the Water Tower’. Here the bass is cial guest Mike Moya. en mirages appearing and disap- Southampton promote this sort of thing. But do nice enough, in a faintly soul- S017 1BJ ...and we’ll chuck some CDs your way. But if that’s not enough then it will also unrelenting while the saxophone pearing before the mind has time to lock the door. 7/10 destroying way. tel: 023 805955230 flowers into a crumpled mess ‘Ice Storm’ is at the spiritual cen- register them. TH 5/10 fax: 023 80595252 before resuming its composure. tre of Enregisteur, and it’s a track in 8/10 TH e-mail: [email protected] (1) make you more attractive to the opposite sex and (2) look great on your CV RH

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28th September 2002 Welcome to... 28th September 2002

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28th September 2002 Welcome to... 28th September 2002 album s albums DEATH IN VEGAS true to their shadowy 6/10 TH singles masterplan, with every SKELF Scorpio Rising (BMG) song proving a mini Live 1/2/02 reinvention. Perversely, (Mo' Wax) After making dark disco goth the one they call Killing almost mainstream with their last Smile begins like a Glasgow's Howie B is a busy boy. outing, The Contino Sessions, it is bouncy piece of Celtic Not only does he find time to be a clear that Death In Vegas are going folk with an end-of-a- producer, remixer and dj and Western string section BUY THIS. to stick to their musical guns. In release records under his usual fact from the outset, the dark and a twangy Spanish moniker, he also manages to sched- Or Else! guitar, and it is this per- beats suggest that this is going to ule work on his alter-ego, Skelf. QUEENS OF THE QOTSA - God Save The Queens be more of the same.The big test versity which cements Presumably recorded on 1st STONE AGE their position as peren- for Scorpio Rising, though, is February this year, the single, forty- Songs For The Deaf whether there is a compellingly nial outsiders and the eight minute track adorning this cd (Interscope) catchy modern classic like Iggy undisputed kings of is a startlingly stark combination of Pop-voiced Aisha. murky funk. It is also rhythmically arranged electrical Queens of the Stone Age are the By the intro of the fifth song, the the perversity which hisses and crackles and clicks Weller's released since The Jam), best rock band in the world today, album's title track, the benefits of fuels the images of human variety underpinned by an rich and endless and Leather might be if only it had aren't they? Well, besides being the having two main men and numer- (and depravity) on the seam of drum machine mining. some fucking vocals, but it all falls only band who could (however ous vocal collaborations are clear sleevenotes. Some of it does Keyboards, where they do appear, short of classic status. But it's still briefly) tempt Dave Grohl away for all to see.While Liam Gallagher seem like unfinished filler (Girls, thankfully adhere to a noodle-free the best moody disco album of from Foo Fighters, and being one fronts Scorpio Rising, a song which Natja) but, in general, it's a good agenda and mostly confine them- the year so far, and is lurking in of the few who could unashamedly demonstrates Oasis' recently album though the final question, selves to a driving one-note bassline the shadows just waiting to cor- rock Glastonbury without getting wasted musical potential, Susan as well it should be, is this; is any or the occasional synth-stab. This is rupt. pelted by bits of Stonehenge, they Dillane (23 Lies) gives a slightly of it as fantastic as Aisha? So You a constantly shifting and utterly 7/10 have under their belt one of the strained but nonetheless beautiful Say You Lost Your Baby could be absorbing piece of work, and quite RH best rock albums of the 21st vocal edge. They manage to stay there (and is the best that Paul easily the best thing to be released MARTIN GRECH like Matt Bellamy and Thom Century. But then again, all good on the Mo'Wax since DJ Shadow's Open Heart Zoo Yorke’s lost son. On top of music reigns have to come to an end at seminal Endtroducing.... (Universal) which is the perfect theme tune THE VINES lives of their own and, once that's some point and, with the expecta- 8/10 to a deserted factory on the cold- happened, you just HAVE to listen tions so ludicrously high, can they est, bleakest day of a 22nd Highly Evolved FUJIYA & MIYAGI TH Apparently this is used in a to it all the way through. Which is, hope to retain the position as rock to be more than even that; QOTSA liminal suggestions of impending you away in a torrent of palpi- Century winter, it is fascinating (Heavenly) Electro Karaoke in the Lexus ad... but who cares? This is surely, reason enough to buy. If you royalty for much longer? are famous for their collaborations, danger and darkness (Hanging Tree). tation inducing power chords, and beautifully evocative. Perfect. the best post-OK Computer song haven't already. Negative Style but with three vocalists it gives even And it is subtle and dark, paranoia- 10/10 Just by way of initial clarification, that Radiohead never released, 8/10 (Massive Advance) GOLD CHAINS On this evidence I'd say so.This more scope for variety within their with Grohl's drumming making per- inducing and gut-wrenching. with Grech wailing into the void RH The Vines are NOT 2002's The Strokes... they're much, much better RH Gold Chains is definitely the equal of Rated R, established sound. From Homme's fection out of often complex They are the masters of mys- It's unusual in this day and age, than that. Firstly they've taken their (PIAS) with songs like No One Knows and haunting melodies (The Sky Is Fallin') sequences (eg. A Song For The tique and, once again, have pro- when every b**tard-offspring of influences (Beach Boys, Beatles, LEVELLERS Another Love Song already classics and Oliveri's banshee scream (You Dead), the result is staggering and duced a haunting yet essential Squaphexpusher old enough to Muse etc.) and moulded them into Green Blade Rising Gold Chains is one mean moth- which have, seemingly, been around Think I Ain't Worth A Dollar...) to unique. Organs and pianos all add to album.This is a must-buy. work a computer is cutting the something new and exciting. (HAG Records) erf**ker. Eschewing the pathetic for ages. But it somehow manages Screaming Trees' Mark Lanegan sub- the effect and, though it won't blow THE LIBERTINES midrange, dropping the bass and fir- Secondly, rather than being about bling-bling posturing of the main- 9/10 RH Up the Bracket ing off beats per minute above an image of black Whilst still an acne-ridden teenag- stream US rap scene, 'Chains takes (Rough Trade) Jam-influenced pub-punk retro human perception thresholds, to leather and perfectly moulded er back at my local comprehensive, on an altogether nastier attitude. album doesn’t have any tracks to of middle-easternpolyrhythms, elec- malist tape-loops, it’s just that the singalong rock song that the 70s find someone prepared to stick to meant-to-be-messy hair, the main for a reason which is both unknown Backed by his own bass heavy lap- surpass that effort but it tries its tronic drones, a four-part chorus whole point of the pioneering What else would you expect wasn’t lucky enough to have.And the same 120 bpm tempo on every focus is on the music. And thirdly, and incomprehensible to me now, I top electronic mayhem, Gold damn hardest. Vocodered vocals and the woodwind of Israeli musi- pieces made back in the sixties by from a band who are, on record, as the title track from the forth- track. Well, here's two someones - traffic won't stop when another hunted down a couple of Levellers Chains rips apart the mic with his and glitchy beats combine to sub- cian Gilad Atzmon, while the sleeve the likes of Steve Reich and Terry the loudest, Englishest, marfiest coming album, all is looking well Fujiya and Miyagi, Japan’s latest hot gem floats out of Craig Nicholls' cassettes - Levelling the Land, featur- in-yer-face lyrical fire-spitting, with lime effect on the opener Reality notes actively encourage you to use Riley is that behind the veneer of East End noisemakers since Blur. for these Cockernee noisemak- export. slightly f**ked-up head. After all, ing the anthemic One Way, and lines such as "I can see in your eyes Check (complete with mock-Neil the shuffle button on your stereo. repetition there is a whole hive of Though where Blur had pop ten- ers. On Electro Karaoke... the drum he's already got the second album Zeitgeist. I was dismayed to find, you wish you were me" and "I'll sell Young lyric ‘You’re out of the green Turner is perhaps best known for activity if only you take the effort to dencies, The Libertines have writ- 7.5/10 machines are largely left to their planned, and is aching to record it. however, that these albums were, in your lady as a sex slave to pay my and into the black/There’s no his soundtrack work with avant- listen. Liars, however, just want to ten the best Chas and Dave/The RH own predictably metronomic So they're far better than The fact, sh*te. rent". f**king doubt’) while on Hunger his gardist Derek Jarman on films such kill any erstwhile reviewer who devices while Fujiya and Miagi con- Strokes, but what makes them so Nothing much has changed. Hailing from San Francisco, GC sythnthesized arsenal of assorted as the seminal Blue, so it is perhaps feels obliged to listened to the centrate on getting exactly the right great in their own right? Because although their unerring has shared the stage with the likes bleeps, squeaks and farts gets a full fitting that the release should be whole album by making their brains balance of organic synth, understat- Well, it's the range that makes political stance and do-it-yourself of Kid 606, Cex, and the filthier- workout. Songwriting abilities to accompanied by a DVD featuring implode (I personally required sev- MCLUSKY JAMES YORKSTON AND ed guitar and murmuring vocals.The GOLD CHAINS - ‘mean motherf**ker’ this debut stand out from the ethic remains commendable, tracks than-thou Peaches, and could easily rival Marr/Morrisey are in evidence the collaged work of Alan Shepard. eral hours of reconstructive sur- Alan Is A Cowboy Killer THE ATHLETES resulting mixture is so uncannily never-diminishing group of one- such as Four Winds sound like an go 12 rounds with all three at once. on ‘Abyss’ while his versatility is Steet scenes, landscapes and night- gery). (Too Pure) Tender to the Blues reminiscent of German outfits such those timeless classic debuts such trick ponies. There's the roar of a unfortunate cross between The If you're one of those people who confirmed on Turn on which fea- time drives are intricately woven Both despite and because of this, (Domino) as Tarwater and To Rococo Rot that as Freak Out!, Safe as Milk or even young Kurt Cobain on the likes of Waterboys and the theme tune to think that rappers are unjustifiably tures vocals from rapper Max together, accompanied by deafening They threw us all in a trench... Whilst seeming disjointed and for anyone familiar with those Please, Please Me. In fact, he is talking Get Free, In The Jungle and the BBC's Monarch of the Glen. self-aggrandising twats with a mis- Turner. sound of chaos going quietly about manages to earn itself a worthy out of control, this is still better If alt-country is the new bands it may seem as if you've heard about the record of which you are Outtathaway, but that's contrasted 3/10 placed arrogance to match Tony 7/10 it’s business. ranking in the recent spate of post- than the endless selection of Christianity, then James Yorkston it all before. currently reading a review. with the 60s psychedelia of TH Blair's, then Gold Chains is most TH 9/10 post-punk releases. On previous uncreative soulless sh*t that pass- is the new Archbishop of Nevertheless, it’s a strangely Unfortunately, for him, he is very, Homesick, Autumn Shade and Mary definitely for you. In the words of TH tracks, with echoes of both Gang of es itself off as music nowadays. Canterbury. While not quite holy seducing album. very wrong. Jane.. And there's also the confi- the master himself, "One beat, two SFT Four and the Fall, the Liars use Okay, so it's not the best song off enough to be sitting around at the 2/10 dence to experiment, like with ska beat, three beat four/Everybody Swift: Twenty Pieces of Music, LIARS stop-start guitar riffs (on Mr your on McLusky Do Dallas and to some it'll cannibalistic last supper with the TH on Factory... and I don't mean your loves a Gold Chains whore..." Film and Silence They threw us all in a trench fire Mr) and foot-numbing bass- seem like more noise than music, likes of Uncle Tupelo and Howe No Doubt ska-'punk' sh*te neither. 8/10 (Mute) and stuck a monument on top drum kicks (on Loose Nuts on the but it's worth getting if only Gelb, the multi-instrumentalist’s But they wouldn't've released the TH SCHNEIDER TM (Blast First) Velodrome) to maximum effect, not for B-side Random Celebrity Insult beautiful arrangements are 90-second title track as a single if Zoomer Simon Fisher Turner’s latest double to mention the squalling sample of Generator which is the funniest enough at least to ensure him safe they weren't THE CRESCENT (City Slang) CD/DVD is an exercise in reduc- Right, last things first. The closing seminal disco sisters ESG (on the grimy anti-Nick Berry rock song to passage past St. Peter when the confident were they? The Crescent tionism, from the compression of twenty-five minutes of this fifty- brilliantly titled Tumbling walls buried come out of Wales this year. If not time comes. Yet it's not misplaced confidence (Hut) Schneider TM’s electronicised ver- his name down to his initials to the minute album consist of the same 3 me in the debris with ESG). ever. as, like all good/great albums, this sion of The Smith’s There is a light subtlety with which the twenty seconds of one-note bass riff, tap- 8/10 7/10 8/10 debut is a grower. The songs may “To me” states The Crescent’s Sean that never goes out, released last pieces incorporated within bristle ping hi-hat and delayed guitars TH RH TH sound similar at first but, after five FUJIYA & MIYAGI - Longworth, “it’s the best debut year, is the greatest cover of any with ideas. Found sounds are mas- repeated ad nauseum. Now it’s not or so listens, they begin to take on but which one’s which? ever.” Sean is not talking about pop song ever. This year’s Zoomer terfully entwined with aural collages as if I’ve got anything against mini-

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28th September 2002 Welcome to... 28th September 2002

MCLUSKY mean out of our time, like the Pixies bitching of ‘Gareth Brown Says’ in The Joiners or Fugazi, I mean musically out of which our (autobiographical?) hero Interview... Friday 13th September time”. lets fly with all manner of juvenile Mclusky repeatedly show- insults at his classmates, such as way. Because you’re always watch- case their razor-sharp wit when “Your mother is a ballpoint pen thief”, Mclusky are three. Andy Falkous ing somebody else. So if it was playing live whether it be through “You’ve never been to Alton Towers”, (Guitar/Vocals), Jon Chapple really going to be reality TV like their lyrics (“Don’t go f**king in the and the brilliantly offensive “All your (Bass/Vocals) and Mat Harding my head is watching you now then barn/Because the barn’s on fire”) or friends are @£$*”. (Drums), who collectively share the we would have little cameras in name of TV’s most illustrious head- through their impromptu discussion It is probably the bilious their eyes... mistress, are the UK’s hottest pow- with the audience on the subject of ‘Alan is a Cowboy Killer’, however, erhouse punk-rock trio who make anal sex. which comes out on top as the best A. . It’s not reality anyway, it’s like Blink 182 look like the Electric Light Apparently one of Mclusky’s track of the night, because although a manufactured sub-reality. If you Orchestra. Rumour has it that biggest idols is Frank Black (former- it doesn’t have the tighter than know you’re being filmed you do they’ve even described themselves ly Black Francis), of the aforemen- tight-arse drumming and rythmical- not act realistically, you act things as being “the greatest rock trio tioned Pixies, and its not difficult to ly pounding distorted guitars of GRANGE out for the camera. GRANGE ever, including Nirvana and Shellac” believe. In Falkous, the band have some of the more upbeat tracks, it although it seems highly likely that their very own genetically modified is the true embodiment of the M. Real reality would be looking they were merely winding up version, spitting fire with lyrics such screeching, eauphoric, who-gives-a- through someone else’s eyes, not whichever hack happened to be as “Nicotine stained on account of her fuck attitude that this band stands a camera or rather millions of interviewing them at the time. crutch/And I’m aching from f**king for. cameras dotted all over the place. According to the band’s website, too much” from ‘Lightsabre...’ and At the end of the night, squalling Andy and Mat met whilst being ‘Pull up my pants/Now the camera bass frequencies and acres of feed- J. Yeh, but who would share the simultaneously ejected from crew has gone/In that statement to the back rise-up in defiant challenge to house with? Blackwood Miners’ Institute for police/Tell them how I turned you the world at large as Falkous leaves questioning the dress code (by on/But you were such an ugly child’ the stage in mock-disgust (probably dressing as miners) and Jon joined from the latest single, ‘Alan is a at his band-mates) while Harding A. Err, Linda Lake. Sorry I’ll let to complete the line-up shortly Cowboy Killer’. caries Chapple off the stage and you answer after, following a tent-pissing inci- On ‘The world loves us and is our through the crowd. HELL bitch’, Mclusky really raise the roof Just remember, as Mclusky them- M. Errr, Linda Lake, Charmaine dent at Reading Festival.Their won- HELL Sinclair, Louise Hodges, Paula derfully titled debut, ‘My pain and with the the sarcastic refrain “You selves put it so elequently on ‘F**k Raymond, Jenna Jameson sadness is more sad and painful than need some cokecokecokecoke this band’, “If they split up/You’re Just before their roof-rais- A That was a long time ago, when yours’ appeared in 2000 to minor inspiration”, reminiscent of Frank responsible” ing gig at the Joiners, The the situation regarding Bush was a J. I don’t know any of these girls. critical plaudits and general indiffer- Zappa’s tirade against drug-fuelled Edge caught up with Mclusky little less sensitive than it is now. ence, save for the dedicated few. musicians,‘Cocaine Decisions’. Tim Houghton backstage (OK, down in the A.They’re all soft porn stars. The follow-up, ‘Mclusky Do Dallas’ Another gem is the teenage- cellar, but it’s almost the J. We don’t like that hobgoblin released in April of this year and same thing) - and before we man though. He’s a fu**ing @£$* M. I’d have Peter North there as recorded by living legend Steve had time to think to our- - and I use those words carefully. well so when I wasn’t doing it I’d Albini (of Shellac), fared rather bet- selves “ohsh*te thedicta- just send Peter North in instead. ter, garnering widespread acclaim phoneisn’tturnedon”, we’d If you were forced to partake and prompting further concert already chatted about Guns in a ‘reality TV program’, and J.Are we allowed dead people? dates and a forthcoming European and Roses, Martin Amis and you could choose the other tour. whether killing Hitler is participants, who would you OK On this particular date, Friday acceptable if you could go choose? 13th no less, Mclusky waste no time back to 1932. Nevertheless, J. Jack Lemon. in raising the crowd’s spirits follow- here’s the remainder of our A. Daleks. 9 Daleks. ing the abysmal support act, Reuben conversation... (“we don’t choose the support J. Jarvis Cocker, I think he’d be A. He’d be a good one. bands” writes Mat on Mclusky’s Who are your least favourite quite interesting. The lead singer J. Jack Lemon, Peter Sellars, James internet messsage board “Reuben people? of Radiohead. So we could have a are f**king sh*te”). “Hello, we’re laugh. Stewart, James Mason. Coldplay” says Falkous, upon which J. The guy who lives next door to Not Chris Morris then? I they launch into the killer opening us in our block of flats.He’s a A.Yeh. You’d ask him for some- heard he was one of your track “Lightsabre C**ksucking f**king @£$*. He wears a stupid thing, like “Thom, can I have a bit heroes. Blues”, a furious amalgamation of hat all the time, a floppy hat with stop-start guitars and half shouted a peak at the front. I can’t do any- A. I don’t think that I’d like to vocals (Eat what you are while your thing without that @£$* knock- “I’d like to kick share a house with Chris Morris. falling apart and it opened a can of ing at the door. worms/The gun’s in my hand and I That would be a bit weird. know how it looks but believe me I’m A. I haven’t actually had any con- innocent”). The assembled crowd - the sh*t out of J. He’d probably say something tact with him. I’m prepared to or at least those within 12 ft. of the anti-Semitic on purpose or some- hate him though. tiny Joiners stage - immediately thing. Jon took up the war dance, a disjointed Big Brother” J. He came round at four o’clock mixture of pogo-ing, thumping each What did you think of last in the afternoon when our friend of toast” and he’d be whining like other and collapsing. year’s ‘Paedogeddon’ episode was playing bass in our living “No.This is my toast. I’ve worked Later in the evening, Chapple of Brass Eye? room, saying “If you want to on this toast for years”. I can’t called things to a temporary halt rehearse, get a rehearsal room.” think of anyone else. I despise while he asked those at the front to J. F**king amazing. Absolutely So I said “Excuse me, it’s four o reality TV programs. It’s like the make sure that they weren’t hurting f**king brilliant. clock in the afternoon, f**k off. He final breakdown of society and all anybody who didn’t want to be didn’t like that.” that crap. It’s like me living my hurt. It was a scene strangely remi- own boring life all day, and then at A. It was like the perfect proven niscent of straight-edgers Fugazi, hypothesis or something. It does A. I haven’t met him but he does- the end of the day watching it all who regularly appeal to the crowd exactly what it says on the tin. n’t really sound like my kind of back again. I think my life is prob- to cool it. Mclusky’s affection for Especially when you’ve got really guy. ably more interesting than that that band was also made clear anyway - not by much maybe. ignorant @£$* who are meant to when, upon being put out-of-stride be representing the people of this One of the reasons I asked by an over-enthusiastic crowd country who decried it without was because of some com- J. I’d like kick the sh*t out of Big member, Falkous requested “Please even actually seeing it. That’s the ments you made about Brother. don’t shout out the lyrics just height of ignorance. They would before I’m about to sing them, it George W. Bush in a previous M. I don’t think it’s reality TV any- have stepped down immediately if puts us out of time. And I don’t interview.

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28th September 2002 Welcome to... 28th September 2002

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28th September 2002 Welcome to... Interview... GG they had the powers to see how forwards and backwards.That was ignorant they were. it. Backwards and forwards! IINN J. It wasn’t as if it was even subtle M. I didn’t have any disappointing D or anything. It was outrageously toys. Everything was great when I D funny. was a kid. EEAA And these are the people A. I got a book on R.E.M. That who are going to be debating was pretty disappointing. RR Iraq in a couple of weeks. A. They can’t even take a joke. Does rock ‘n’ roll need saving? E J. I think we should leave Iraq A. Who gives a f**k? I mean rock E alone.What business is it of ours? ‘n’ roll can go f**k itself, you know. HH Imagine if it was the other way If it needs saving it should apply T round and Saddam tried to make T for medical help. Join the rock ‘n’ Bush give up his arms. roll equivalent of BUPA or something. A. Basically, he looked for Bin TT Laden and couldn’t find Bin Laden The music press often brands J. Every record the Beatles ever know, with the wheel chair and Hill or Press Gang? made. Every record AC/DC made the life support machine, and he O so he’s taking it out on someone bands such as yourselves as O apart from...errm... plays for eight hours solid, he I else. I dunno... “the saviours of rock ‘n’ roll.” J. Grange Hill. I plays every song from ‘Blood on A. Well, I think for a small period RR What was the most disap- A. What does it mean anyway? M. ...Back in Black. the Tracks’, twice, and they’ll of time, Press Gang. pointing toy you were given Does that mean that we have go always come back and say it’s the as a child? around saving Aerosmith or J. Every record made by Lemmy. best gig they’ve ever seen. Every M. I think that Press Gang always ! year he plays the best gig they’ve had that annoying big mouthed ! something? A. Those weren’t rated that high- ever seen. cunt in it. T J. Micro machines board game, T ly though were they? when I was fourteen! Given to me J. I don’t want to save Aerosmith. C Saturday 24th August J. Neil Young.Everything by him is C J. Dexter Fletcher. by my Aunt Sue, who, just for the I don’t want to save AC/DC.... In contrast, Saturday began with record, is a selfish f**king ignorant M. I’d say Rated R by Queens of overrated. A A THE ICARUS LINE unleashing the Stone Age.Very overrated. Australians THE VINES who gave bitch. A. I want to save Love Hate, if you A. I had an girlfriend once and the tortured screaming on the half- M. The Strokes are overrated. With a bill to top all others, a flawless performance of their remember them. They were a only cool thing she ever did was asleep, giving them the sound of The A. Every couple of years I always surely you couldn't afford to sexy, sassy debut and, even though M. No she’s not, Sue’s nice. glam American band.... she was working on the door at Hives in hell to match the looks. think to myself, ‘Everybody is A. Yeh, The Strokes. The people miss it. But if you did then, fear Craig Nicholls didn't tear through it her university college union, and And talking of THE HIVES, always talking about Bob Dylan, who have been involved in their not, your salvation is here; we like the wide-eyed wild-eyed hyper- J. Not my mum, you c**khead. My M. I think that rock n’ roll should Dexter Fletcher came up, and he Sweden's finest were clad in trade- I’m going to listen to some Bob marketing campaign deserve, well, went on your behalf and con- active man-child as expected, no- aunt. be saved, like a saved game on a said “Do you know who I am?” mark black and white and bringing Dylan.’ So I listen to him and then whatever it is that people in mar- structed this extra-special one was disappointed. Especially A. Does she read the game. I think that rock ‘n’ roll and she said “Yes.That’s why I’m sartorial garage rock pop to the I think,‘He’s a whiny little maggot keting campaigns aspire to. When report. Damn, we're kind! with their version of Outkast's Miss Southampton University newspa- from 1950 to 1995 should be not letting you in for free.” sun-drenched main stage masses. and he needs a kick.” you get a band like them, the NME Jackson.And then it rained. But after per? saved on a memory card and then M. Grange Hill: great music. Very Hate to Say... and the new single has headlines like “Strokes write a couple of dull hours I donned the that’s it. Then everybody can for- unusual theme tune. (Does impres- were both top moments, along with People who like Bob Dylan new song” and every time they Friday 23rd August bin-bag raincoat to see tree-loving J. I doubt it. get about saving rock ‘n’ roll sion of Grange Hill theme circa Howlin' Pelle's comically arrogant are generally quite fanatical. bring out a new one you think Anyway, after arriving late and Britpop survivors PULP who gave because it’s already been saved. 1992) segways. I then avoided Sum-41 “Wow, a new song? They might missing The Soundtrack Of Our us Babies which was, as always, very I could probably send her a (obviously) but returned for an A. I’ve got friends who like Bob have even had a rehearsal. Maybe Lives, The Moldy Peaches and The enjoyable, as copy if you wanted. What do you think is the J. And the title sequence with the ASH greatest hits collection Dylan and every year they go off the one of them wrote a riff one Von Bondies, I needed something to was Common People with a sinister most overrated record that’s fork and the sausage. But then and, with guitar pop gems like Girl day, then someone else went and kickstart the weekend so I got with electro opening providing an unlike- J. I also got a toy truck which goes ever been made? and see Bob Dylan live, you they updated it. I used to watch it From Mars and Burn Baby Burn, it found some lyrics about society the commercialist spirit and ly twist. It set it up for THE back when it was original, but couldn't go far wrong.After a quick or something and they play a new plunged myself into a mobile phone STROKES, with Julian Casablancas then my mum started watching it burst of Swedish anti-capitalist rock ad with THE DANDY stoolbound, lacked energy and, with song and then at the end of it they and commenting on the social from THE (INTERNATIONAL) WARHOLS. And though their only one album, lacked the unpre- say ‘Call the NME, we’ve got a issues discussed in it. NOISE CONSPIRACY it was a pseudo-hippy guitar pop was suit- dictability of a new f**king song!’” return to the rain to see MUSE's ably joy-inducing, it couldn't com- classic headliner. Slightly disappoint- THE PARKINSONS - cocks not yet on show. A. Like Star Trek. fantastic live show, with Matt 'mad pare to Detroit's finest red and ing, then, which left it to Texan What do you think of the professor' Bellamy the orchestrator white blues two piece, THE 23/24-piece THE POLYPHONIC with mesmerising spectral sound- NME? How’s that then? of this swirling natural maelstrom. Well, frankly, it didn't start well WHITE STRIPES, whose sexual SPREE to enliven those who were scapes that transported the congre- Colourful and bombastic, grand and and took until mid-afternoon to chemistry was almost as awe-inspir- trickling off, gation, however briefly, to another A. I think I’ve probably used every A. Well for example, in looking at fantastic, unquestionably the best recuperate with the chilled out ing as the fantastic gender-tran- which they did in glorious fashion. world. A world away from the all- expletive in the English language the archaic structural relation- 'show' of the weekend.The contrast tough and tender funk-rock of scending cover of Jolene. Then a Whilst wearing robes. Nice. too-noticeable minority of to describe the NME. ships in Klingon society there was to pugnacious Portuguese punks INCUBUS. And then the day's quick trip to see much vaunted c**krings who put pursuing moron- an interesting parallel drawn with THE PARKINSONS couldn't real main event, SLIPKNOT,a ic thrills above the enjoyment and j. I’ve never ever read it! the way women are suppressed in have been greater. And then it was pantomime car crash essential for (INTERNATIONAL) NOISE CONSPIRACY safety of others. A world away from today’s modern society. time to choose in the three-way fans and cynics alike. Surprisingly, - bad boys (I)NC the irritating frustrated middle class A. I read it between the ages of (Sarcastically) It was so cleverly headliner scrap, which saw the though, I loved the nine-headed kids that plague the campsite, and 14 and 24 and it betrayed me like and subtly done. Gene Rodenbury underdogs, IKARA COLT, masked metal monstrosity, who being ripped-off at every turn. And an unfaithful girlfriend except not is some kind of prophet. I think impress (against BRMC and Foo proved themselves more than just most importantly, a world away as funny and I didn’t get to f**k it. the tragedy is that most of the Fighters) with spunky art rock an elaborate freak show. Probably. from Prodigy's bloated, middle-aged people reading this article might which appealed to both the elitist Everything was back on track for and not very dangerous disco show. M. I think they should give away not even know who Gene and the numbskull in me. In inciting Texan art-rockers ...AND YOU So I'm cynical about so-called 'festi- free stuff on the front like they do Roddenberry is. fans for the stage invasion, however, WILL KNOW US BY THE val spirit' but, for a way to see loads on comics. Then you wouldn’t they earned themselves a ban from TRAIL OF DEAD whose white of great bands in one place, have to read it. J. People always go on about how the idyllic non-rioting tranquility of hot act was completed as guitars Reading's the King. No question. Hitchcock was such a misogynist Sunday at Leeds. Now how could were smashed, and the dismantled Rich Heap but Gene Rodenberry was a my Sunday match that? drumkit was thrown to the audi- Which was better, Grange rapist. ence. Marvellous. Which left it up Sunday 25th August to SPIRITUALIZED to finish the photos - Rich Heap weekend in style, which they did

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28th September 2002 Welcome to... 28th September 2002

In a feature especially for all Interview... those freshers out there, the Edge takes a look at where’s BLOW YOUR LOAN! S hot and where’s not in the South coast’s best loved city - The Edge Guide to what’s on at various toilet venues errm well, Southampton, any- Thursday 3rd October - Banco de Sunday 13th October - Saturday 19th October - Martin way.... Gaia @ Wedgewood Rooms, McAlmont and Butler @ Grech @ The Joiners. He sings that ROTHKO Portsmouth. Dance meets world Wedgewood Rooms, Portsmouth. song off that advert - you know the THE JOINERS music yet manages not to be sh*t. Their solo efforts were less popular one. O than Christine Hamilton, so they’ve In 1999, Rothko released their myself off completely and went and 141 St. Mary Street Friday 4th October - The D4 @ reformed especially for you (and the Sunday 20th October - Goldrush first album, ‘A Negative for lived alone. Quietly. Tel:02380 225612 The Joiners. Your new favourite New money). @ The Joiners. Francis’. Comprising solely of www.joinerslive.com Zealand band. three bass players, Mark As for music, I stopped listening to Tuesday 15th October - The Monday 21st October - Beazley, Jon Meade and it years before I started Rothko, I The Joiners is a modified pub with a Saturday 5th October - Beatings @ The Joiners. Puressence @ Wedgewood Crawford Blair, they were seen had no idea what bands were out small gig area out the back and is, Meanwhile Back in Communist Rooms Yet another comeback tour by many as something of an there or anything. There was noth- quite simply, the city's best place to U see new and up-and-coming bands Russia...@ The Joiners. Marxist Tuesday 15th October - Bowling from Manchester’s finest. anomaly, but were usually filed ing that caught my imagination, mayhem! for Soup @ Wedgewood Rooms, by recordshop owners along- though I did love the early jungle (Soundtrack Of Our Lives, JJ72,The Portsmouth. If anyone does go it will Monday 21st October - Hoggboy side rising post-rock stars such stuff, before it became 'drum and Cooper Temple Clause etc.) This Sunday 6th October - Toploader only be to laugh. @ The Joiners as Mogwai and Labradford. bass'. It was hard and exciting, dan- intimate venue does, however,occa- @ Southampton Guildhall. Other albums, ‘In the Pulse of gerous to be around, and some of it sionally sell out quickly so get there Wednesday 16th October - Thursday 24th October - an Artery’ and ‘Forty Years to was pretty terrifying, so that was early or, even better, get your ticket Thursday 10th October - The Capdown @ Wedgewood Rooms, Supergrass @ Southampton Find a Voice’ followed. In July the only stuff I had any feeling for. It in advance. It's well worth the effort Jeevas @ The Joiners. If Crispian Portsmouth. Guildhall Do they still exist? 2001, however, the three mem- was the only music overstepping T as you might be able to see the Mills is involved, chances are it’s gonna bers of Rothko decided to go boundaries and challenging things whites of the eyes of your next new be sh*t. Wednesday 16th October - My their separate ways. Mark like culture and class. There isn't favourite band. And for little more Deaf Audio @ The Joiners. Beazley retained the name much music doing that these days is than a fiver (for bigger acts) what Rothko, and earlier this sum- there? could be better than that? Saturday 12th October - Vendetta Friday 18th October - Beth mer put out a fourth album,‘A Red @ The Joiners. Orton @ Southampton Guildhall. Continual Search for Origins’, Previously you have said that recorded with help from alt the reason you didn't want to THE RHINO CLUB ROTHKO - contemplates life as a Dom Joly/Harold Bishop hybrid H rockers Delicate AWOL. The be in a conventional band is 5-6 Waterloo Terrace, album is a wonderful mixture because of the arguments that off London Road Tel:02380 630171 a bit cavernous, get there for Happy because things have changed. The TALKING HEADS venue itself is ok (big dance floor, of calming ambient washes, occur between the different 'Origins' is the start of something How did the collaboration with of sound and booming bass. I'm just Hour and a good night is almost 320 Portswood Road cheap drinks, nice upstairs...), and together with unsettling guitar, instruments (or rather, their else, a new thing. Delicate AWOL come about? a bass player, and I wanted the clean With an 'alternative' club upstairs guaranteed. Tel:02380 555899 vocal, trumpet and, of course, players). Was the group tones to become a stronger part of and bands, DJs or drum and bass the music, most of the time, is nothing special. However, New York’s, in bass melodies. The Edge dynamic significantly prefeable As for Jon and Crawford, they were They emailed me about a gig they the music. If there is a constant, it's downstairs, small, dark and sweaty ACADEMY Run by the same management as recent months, has attracted class emailed Mark to find out how in the bass trio version of both doing other bands, and they saw, we kept in touch, got on really me, and the change is me also. has never seemed more appealing. 17 Lower Banister Street The Brook, Talking Heads is cheap- it came to be made… Rothko compared to other were getting busy and it turns out A It's very student friendly and Tel:02380334280 acts and top DJs who rarely leave er and usually a lot more cheerful. well, did some shows together, built the London scene. So keep an eye bands you had played in? that they are busier with their new up a real friendship, and from the How would you like Rothko to Wednesday nights are classic and, Usually puts on local bands as well out for posters and flyers. bands than with me, so it worked first time I met them I wanted to progress in the future? Are chances are, you won't be doing Quite possibly one of the worst as some full-on hedonistic club What was your earliest musi- In the end, it wasn't. Which of out OK. It wasn't easy to talk about have the opportunity to play with there any more albums or anything else anything else anyway. places on earth, Academy still nights along the funk/soul lines. THE BROOK cal memory? course is why I had to change it amongst ourselves at the time, them as they are some of the most other projects in the pipeline? Except maybe going to Jumpin' Jaks. seems to attract hoards of students Definitely worth a visit. 446 Portswood Road things. It had become this settled, and maybe deep down, they resent adventurous and fearless bunch of In which case you deserve to be on a regular basis. This remains an Tel:02380555366 Smashing my father's old 78rpm staid, normal thing. We all had our me, but I hope not. If I hadn't men- people and musicians I've ever had I'm always putting ideas down, shot. In the head. No question. But unsolved mystery to The Edge. THE HOBBIT www.the-brook.com collection of vinyl. I was two or pre-defined roles and it physically tioned that I wanted to change it all, the pleasure to meet. always recording and learning and M at Rhinos there's usually something Apparently,if you like cheese (of the 134 Bevois Valley Road three at the time. and psychologically hurt me to keep it would never have got mentioned trying to develop my bass playing. going on, so pay and visit and see musical variety), this is where it’s at, Tel:02380 487777 The Brook is a spacious pub/old it going. It should have ended a year and we would have carried on It really is incredibly fascinating and There will hopefully be a 4 track what appeals. but we are very, very doubtful. timers music venue, complete with What had been your influences before it did, but we had so many releasing the same sounding exciting to play with them and I feel 12" soon, called 'Wish for a World Music (if you can call it that) aside, Whilst usually acting as a friendly mezzanine balcony and boasting a prior to forming Rothko? exciting offers that I found it hard records from here to eternity. It totally privileged that that they play Without Hurt', but it's not certain, the crowd mainly comprises sporty but generally run down pub, The pleasant atmosphere and ridicu- to turn them down. Once the things would have finished me to do that. with me in the band. No challenge is and there will be a mail order CD THE NEXUS CLUB types up for a good laugh. But if you Hobbit often puts on some of the lously inflated door prices. Expect I started to write my own stuff after we had committed to it finished. I'd lost the love of playing, I had to too big for them, they are just of the vinyl only releases and other Southgate Street, near Bargate want anything other than a meat best local music to be had, in par- to see ‘legendary’ artists such as many years of being in other bands, do something drastic to re-discover amazing. Every time we play it's dif- things. I'm putting it together at the Tel:02380 339122 market out of a venue, steer clear! ticular nights from the intermittent P First years will probably be roped in Nils Lofgren, John Martyn and STE punk collective and has occa- but never really being happy with Also, the notion of 'conventional that love, and I have. ferent, and that is life-blood for me. moment, and I'm starting on anoth- Wishbone Ash hitting the road yet just taking part. I gave up music band' also meant 'conventional er album, but I have no idea when Down the backstreets near the to going to Academy at least once in sionally put on some bigger again as well as the occasional con- completely for a while and tried to music'. where things like adventure, How does the writing process To me, 'origins' seems under- that will be done. 'Origins' took me Bargate Centre is Nexus which may their university careers, and trust names (I, for one, shall never forgive temporary band such as Alabama 3, get a decently paid job, and if I'd freedom of spirit and fear of the differ now that you have sole stated in comparison to 'forty 9 months. look a bit, err, sh*tty from the out- us, once is enough. myself for missing a reportedly who played an enjoyable, if slightly succeeded at the time then there is unknown don't exist. I'm happier control? years'. How do you feel side, but inside is an altogether storming set from US rockers The bloated, set there last year. Badly no doubt that I would not have now with the music than ever Rothko's sound has changed Do you ever feel limited by the more colourful affair. Music policy NEW YORK NEW YORK Lapse). Add to that a sweaty,smoky, named covers bands (Gunz n started the group. I would have before. The writing process is the same. and/or stayed constant over business of putting out on Friday nights is Indie/ 28a Queens Way alcohol-fuelled atmosphere and Roses,Whole lotta Led, DC/AC etc taken the easy option of a settled Even from the beginning, a lot of the past five records, and by physical nature T Britpop/whatever the NME is Tel:02380211700 you’re bound to have a good night etc) are also likely to feature. and secure life. (most of) the recordings on 'A years? and limited length of CDs? raving about, whereas Saturdays are out. On 'Origins' you do use other Negative for Francis', 'Forty Years to (I've been told) all about metal. Live A couple of years ago, New York’s Erm. We had a bit on IKON here too but The death of my father in 1995 was instruments - what prompted Find a Voice', tracks on compila- Understated is an excellent word Yes. Not by the length of CD's bands and hip hop are the general was on par with Academy (ie: though. I am just incredibly fortu- rule during the week and though it's sh*thole). Don’t be put off though, we cut it. In short it’s in LeisureWorld, it the catalyst, as death is for many this decision and also the deci- tions, were solely recorded by me. I to use. I'm just learning as I go on. I thinks it’s a real club, and it’s sh*t. Bye. others. Also, to do something with sion to part ways with Jon and just didn't mention it at the time as recorded the album while learning nate that I have been given the my life, other than nothing. So I Crawford? I wanted to promote the idea that how to use a computer to record opportunity to release my music. would say that his death was the we were a band. Which, live, we on and the learning process was a It's a real blessing that I'm allowed O biggest influence on my life and my It had always been my intention to very much were. I could give you a huge part of the creative process. to do this, it really is quite stagger- decision to try and create some- bring other things into the sound, it list of the tracks, but it would be All of Delicate AWOL's parts (and a ing and with each release I get very thing in my small world. was just always difficult to do that, boring. It always made me laugh that few of mine) were recorded at their emotional as I can't quite believe even though we had players like in reviews it was always 'bass trio studio and I took them home and that people are willing to put these I left my job, moved house, cut all Sarah Measures and Andy Diagram Rothko' even though a lot of it was edited and mixed them into the things out. 'Origins' was, is, my most my ties to anything, sold a lot of my on flute, clarinet and trumpet and just me.There's more freedom now. tracks. It's less big now, even though personal and involved record so far, stuff, tried to decide why I was with my friend Simon Tilbury on vocals there are more people involved. I'd a record I thought I'd never have the chance to make or release. N certain people and decided to cut on previous releases. grown tired of those huge washes CALLING PAGE 10 PAGE 11 1872 - WESSEX-freshers 2002 23/9/02 6:01 pm Page 18

28th September 2002 Welcome to... 28th September 2002

WESSEX SCENE Wessexscene.co.uk PAGE 21

Is stringent budgeting a necessity for student success Bizarre and academic euphoria? YES NO World Sarah Malam Jonathan Potter Tim Light Alistair Nelson Just Die Damn It!

When Norma Kroll of San Diego, If I mention the word ‘budget’, Money!! The most valuable Congratulations first years! You’ve During freshers week it is more California, grew peeved with her your instant response may be to resource to a student, but also the just been given the fattest cheque than likely that you will find your- husband, she put a massive dose of cover your ears and sing very worst enemy we can encounter. All you’ve ever had! Go, spend, enjoy selves overwhelmed by a wealth LSD on his toast. When this failed loudly, or ask politely, ‘what was it takes is the swipe of your card in and don’t look back. “But what of ‘advice’ that is piled onto you to elicit any discernible response in that you said... Budweiser?’ The a pissed up state at Kaos or about budgeting,” I hear you cry! by course lecturers, clubs and him, she served him a blackberry initial delight of finding your bank Academy and your funds are mirac- What about it? However, for those societies, fellow students, friends pie containing the venom sac of a balance a couple of digits longer ulously depleted in seconds. sceptics amongst you, let me try to and family and the many other tarantula spider, sabotaged his truck than it has ever been may quickly define it. people who are more than willing with a rudimentary bomb, placed a fade to heart palpitations and It is the way we use this money that to pass on their words of wisdom. live electric wire in his shower, sweaty palms as you opt for ‘cash is important. Many of us choose to If you take the time to look it up, the Of all the many things that people injected air into his veins with a only’ each time you get your go drinking and waste our money word ‘budgeting’ simply means ‘to will tell you, one area that seems hypodermic syringe while he was money out, not risking a printed on a liquid that makes our head spin have a rubbish time at university’. to come up over and over again is asleep, and liberally laced his beer balance for ‘what the eye can’t and for what? A massive hangover. It also means ‘never being able to money: How should you treat with tranquillizers. When all these see’ etc....etc... However, as Some of us just choose a more aca- enjoy oneself, even when having the your student loan? Should you endeavours failed to disturb his attractive as the idea of bottomless demic approach and spend money capacity to do so’ (student loan). budget, spend, save, invest, gam- equilibrium even slightly, Mrs Kroll overdrafts and fist-fulls of credit on books for studying or clothes to The dictionary also describes those ble, give to charity, spend on decided to abandon subtlety and hit cards may seem, once the bills and make us look aesthetically pleasing who budget as ‘dull, boring tight- books/beer? him over the head with a steel invitations for a nice afternoon to the eye. wads, who need to get out more’. weight. She was sentenced to life in chat with the bank manager start Its conclusive guys, you need to The options, as is the advice is prison. rolling in, you’ll begin to wish Okay don’t get me wrong, I think as spend that loan! endless, but for what its worth you’d planned a little better. students we should be having a here are my thoughts on the mat- good time full of memorable jaunts Speaking from experience, stringent ter. Budgeting is something you Contrary to popular belief, budg- and imitate the same living pattern budgeting simply doesn’t exist do when you have a family, a How’s that! eting needn’t equal boring. You of a vampire, but hell, we’ve got to amongst students! It is a myth Volvo and a career as an account- can even treat yourself to the odd survive. It’s not our fault that the devised by scheming parents, who ant. Students do not need to budg- In Pakistan in 1977 a cricket team luxury as long as you make small, government makes us pay tuition don’t want to fork out their own et because if you spend your loan showed their collective displeasure regular changes. For example, on fees, but we also have to pay for our money when you blow it all. If you you can always go to the bank and with a call by beating the umpire to a night out there are many money- survival with the pittance that we ask any university leaver what their extend your overdraft, once this death with the cricket stumps. saving opportunities, which can are left over with from our student most memorable moments were I dries up why not write to sympa- even add to the enjoyment of your loans. guarantee you that the word ‘budg- thetic relatives and tell them how evening. Time spent perfecting et’ would never get a mention. you have given up eating lunch so your ‘dancing round your hand- In student budgeting there are two University above all else is about you can buy books. If this fails to Mental Case bag/coat/umbrella’ routine will approaches: fun, which in itself requires your top up the coffers, medical science save you much needed pound student loan! Student loans are is always prepared to pay well for In 1953, when Mrs. Alice Coe went coins, always useful for the taxi 1) the academic approach where there to help you purchase all those a young healthy guinea pig. to a mental hospital in Jamestown, home. Or try drinking water or you can spend your money on things you’ve always dreamed of, Virginia, to visit her aunt, she was juice, claiming health or moral books and studying just like but couldn’t afford. Last year I The point I make is that budgeting told the woman was dead, but that reasons for abstinence, and just mummy and daddy want you to do, bought a £200 bass guitar. What is unnecessary because with a lit- she could see her room. Feeling see how quickly you are showered which means a top-notch degree but else are loans for but for such neces- tle bit of effort there is always sleepy, Mrs. Coe lay down on her with alcohol, as your friends the social life of a sloth, or sities. For those who worry about more cash to be found. The stu- aunt’s bed for a quick nap. She was become desperate to violate your bad diets as a result of no money, I dent years are short so live them in woken by a doctor who told her that principles and get you merry! 2) the drunken academic approach- have been informed that a diet of style; don’t hold back from order- she was being transferred to another which consists of not spending as noodles and 1p-baked beans can ing that extra beer, why get a ward. Mrs. Coe went with him. Face it. You’re only a student for a much money as you can in one sustain, if not improve your state of small kebab when you could be Twenty-five years later, in 1978, the few years, so why not live like one night and not remembering which health. For those who worry about eating a large? You have years error was discovered and Mrs. Coe now and save the designer shades person you pulled or where you paying off your student loan, simply ahead of you to pay back your was released. ‘I am the sort of per- for when you’re sojourning at the blew chunks, but a breakdown of avoid paying it; reach the age of loan so take advantage of the situ- son who is inclined to let things take Savoy, rather than getting them your money so you know how much sixty-five and the debt is void. ation and buy what you want their natural course,’ Mrs. Coe nicked from the sixteenth floor of you can spend each month or day on Rock on!! when you want. explained. Stoneham. And, the chances are if drink, but I warn you, you’re not you don’t budget now, you never left with much. This is one of the They say that spending reduces When you’re old, smoking your will. So start as you mean to go on biggest responsibilities which needs stress! Therefore my little ones pipe in front of the fire and recol- and when all your friends are to be taken into account otherwise shake off the conspiracy of budget- lecting your youth, no doubt you All Together Now... working 12 hour shifts at Burger you could end up in serious debt (or ing and make the most of your will think you were young and healthy bank balance. Spend some King to repay their overdraft - go looking like me). foolish, but at least you can say Every time the local lifeboat went of that unearned money! shopping! you had a good time. out on call, several aged residents at an English rest home urinated in unison. An investigation revealed that the lifeboat’s short-wave radio We wish to emphasise that the views in this column are not necessarily those of the writers, the WSX editor, the Wessex Scene in general or the was tuned to a frequency that acti- vated the residents’ electronic blad- Union’s. The intention of Devil’s advocate is to encourage debate and discussion for the sake of argument. der-emptying devices. 1872 - WESSEX-freshers 2002 23/9/02 6:01 pm Page 20

WESSEX SCENE Wessexscene.co.uk PAGE 21

Is stringent budgeting a necessity for student success Bizarre and academic euphoria? YES NO World Sarah Malam Jonathan Potter Tim Light Alistair Nelson Just Die Damn It!

WESSEX WESSEX PAGE 22 Wessexscene.co.uk SCENE SCENE Wessexscene.co.uk PAGE 23 COPING Academic Angst WITH M.E.

Sarah Cooper As well as leaving the watchful eye Having M.E. (or Chronic Fatigue of our parents, it is a difficult time Syndrome as itís also called) can of transition since leaving close really affect some one’s ability to It is fair to say that everyone suf- friends and familiar surroundings make the most of their university Adam Charlton and Harvey Longstaff fers from loneliness at some point can be emotionally turbulent. For years. Driving Ambition in his or her life. these reasons, many freshers suffer Typical symptoms can include an Driving Ambition brings you the highs and lows of student wrecks around the campus. However, it is possible that the from loneliness. overwhelming fatigue, muscle and encounter of university will insti- joint pain, concentration and mem- If you want your car to be put under the microscope contact us at [email protected] gate these negative feelings as leav- However, lonliness is not uncom- ory difficulties, painful glands, sore ing entails major lifestyle changes, clearly be more at home on a dou- which are nippy, the 1.9Gti being mon, as a study by Leicester throat, and a severe feeling of such as work patterns and a change ble-decker bus. The dashboard, the choice for many people who University’s psychology depart- ìmalaiseî that follows activity. ‘Like many in the degree of independence we Sometimes it can be wonderful to which has been consciously crafted want to park in Micky D’s across ment revealed. Out of 1,620 stu- encounter. Some people also feel talk with people who know exactly from at least a tonne of plastic does the country all night. In this particu- dents asked, 32% said that under- an added pressure, because this is what you’re going through, and are little for the Metro in terms of first smaller cars lar model, the hi-tech, vamped up supposed to be ‘the best time of our standing and coping with loneliness happy to offer you companionship impression points. stereo looked like a computer geek’s lives’, where we make ‘life-long was a crucial issue for them and and support. Rust also seems to be a major prob- wet dream. lem as the wheel arches are infested it offers all friends’. If these expectations made them feel highly stressed and adjust when they first go to univer- Counselling.cam.ac.uk with what looks like a horrific car aren’t met, a feeling of failure may distracted. sity, but one fact to keep in mind is University Counselling Service that And rather than sitting and dwelling Austin Metro The main problem with the 205, like eating disease. From the drivers Peugeot 205 take hold. that it takes time to make friends. offers help with common difficul- on what we can’t do, we find that the protection many smaller cars, is that it offers seat I can see the tarmac through the One of the ways to combat the Once you have settled into the way ties. It also includes many ‘fresher being part of a group helps us to get Price: £100-£700 Price:£100-3000 all the protection of a wet paper bag foot well, and I can’t stop thinking problem is to remember that its not of life and loneliness has been over- related’ problems and a fresher’s the most out of life. We are all 0-60mph: Though it has countless of a wet 0-60mph: 7.6 seconds in any sort of accident. about the Flintstones. Once the your fault, and it is also something come, university becomes an enjoy- guide. between 18 and 30 years of age and faults, the Metro can sustain a speed Top Speed: Comfortable 80mph on journey is underway I realise that everyone deals with at times, able experience. Radio1essentials meet once a month for coffee, pub of 70mph quite comfortably on the motorway (and around the As with most Peugeot’s the engine despite appearances. Another rem- This is always good on many meals, chinese / video evenings and high-speed roads the Metro has the driving dynamics paper bag.’ Nuffield car park). can resemble the monotonous drone of an articulated lorry and the low edy to try is to join a club or socie- The best thing you can do to help aspects of student life, particularly occasional trips to local attractions. Top Speed: 75mph. However at this Gearbox: Tight and manageable. of a 1930’s tractor, thus drowning suspension at the front means even ty that interests you, as meeting yourself is to get involved. Above health and stress. There is no pressure to do anything speed the Metro is prone to con- the Metro descends quicker than Peugeot seem to have a reputation out the drunken rants of many a stu- minute pebbles cause problems. others with similar interests is a all, remember that there are many Uni4me.com and no commitment is needed ñ we vulse violently at times. Lisa Riley from the top diving for creating impressive and durable dent on the long walk home from Don’t even attempt speed bumps. positive step forward. It is also use- people in the same situation as you, Answers some basic but important all understand! For more informa- Image: Crap. board. A trip to Safeway can take gearboxes. Portswood. The styling of the 205 ful to be honest with good friends as well as many people who want to questions such as “how will I tion, phone Linda on 023 8058 Extras: A working fan is rare. The so long that it may be necessary to Extras: Stylish French little num- has outlasted many a car and looks or relatives and talk about how you help, including tutors and counsel- learn?” “what will life be like?” and 4067 or E-mail radio is more dated than a gramo- break up the journey by staying ber. Nice interior. Tends to get worn remarkably better than many other feel. Many people take time to lors. “what about my family? [email protected] phone. ‘The Metro has somewhere over night. just by staring at it for too long. Up- student wrecks. All in all the 205 is The gears are a complete write-off graded stereo system allows for a good choice for quite a cheap stu- At Driving Ambition we are the driving and it literally takes ten minutes to maximum wide boy appeal. dent motor, just watch out for thiev- always looking for a student car find first. The electronics were put ing little blighters down on the stu- that offers something extra. dynamics of an together by someone using only This car was the benchmark for dent roads, they tend to attract a lot Something that makes us sit up and articulated lorry’ their teeth and have a funny habit of many hatchbacks to come; this is of attention! Well done to the listen and turns a trip to Portswood either not working, or working too something the French have French for this effort. Shame about Media Information: into a barnstorming adventure. A well. The indictor periodically suf- pulled off well! The 205 comes the world cup though. No really it car that makes us smile for reasons The exhaust pipe seems to have fers from bouts of epilepsy. Be with a range of engines, all of is. we often don’t fully understand. been possessed and continually careful when using the boot, as it Alas the sight of the Metro bought moves around as if it has a mind of refuses to stay open on it’s own, and these hopes and dreams once again it’s own and has decided it doesn’t subsequently acts like a guillotine The Nuffield Theatre crashing to the ground in a spectac- want to be a part of the car anymore crashing down on your head and ular ball of flames. - who can blame it? neck. The doctors say the neck- The steering wheel that is about the With more than two people in the brace can come off in a couple of Nuffield Announces new own Mainhouse shows (which run size of a dustbin lid and would car the speed and performance of weeks. Autumn / Winter Season for approx 3 1/2 weeks) and the work of other touring Production Companies. There is always a bal- The Nuffield, Southampton is on ance between more contemporary the University’s doorstep and has and more traditional work. a whole host to offer students There are also opportunities to get over the next academic year. The closer to the action by taking part in Autumn / Winter season kicks off in Sunday workshops, which aim to mid-September, so why not come develop both performance and tech- along now and see what appeals? nical skills - no experience required! The programme’s varied, particu- More comedy follows on Sunday 3 And with its newly renovated bar Campus Chat-Up For All larly Sunday Nights, which change November, when The Nuffield and restaurant, The Nuffield is the each week. invites you to join Al Murray - The 2.Come home with me and we can 7.What’s a great girl like you doing perfect night out if you don’t want graduate to bed. in a lecture room like this? to venture too far away from cam- On the 6 October, The Nuffield is Pub Landlord, on his 2002 one- pus. proud to host an evening with Dave man-mission to put the Great back 3.Is that a student union card in 8.Do you have a map of the cam- Gorman. Gorman is currently one in Great Britain. Murray’s hilarious In most cases students can purchase your pocket, or are you just pleased pus? I keep on getting lost in your of the country’s most popular stand- live stand-up shows have seen him tickets at a discounted rate and for to see me? eyes. up comedians and his unique become one of the most popular main house shows all student tickets humour made The Dave Gorman comedy acts in the country - win- are £6 (with the exceptions of 4.I’ve just arrived here. Could you Collection a hit on the BBC. ning the Perrier Award at the Saturday night performances). give me directions to your bed- Gorman’s unique style of comedy room? Edinburgh Festival and securing The Autumn / Winter Brochure is Try out these ‘guaranteed to work’ works by his taking a theme for Olivier Award nominations for both available now, so why not pick up a chat-up lines on your fellow stu- each show and sticking to it of his celebrated sell-out London copy from The Nuffield Box dents: 5.Fancy a pint? Or do you just want absolutely....such an approach led West End runs. You can see both Office? For any show information, the money? to his Perrier Award nominated Dave Gorman and Al Murray on the to request a brochure or to book 1.Do you ever go to the library? show, Are you Dave Gorman? stated Sundays at 7.30pm. In addi- tickets please call The Box Office Good, because I really want to 6.You must be lonely. After all, being shown at the Melbourne tion to their popular Sunday nights, now on 023 8067 1771. check you out. you’re in a class of your own. International Comedy Festival. The Nuffield also presents their 1872 - WESSEX-freshers 2002 23/9/02 6:01 pm Page 22

WESSEX WESSEX PAGE 22 Wessexscene.co.uk SCENE SCENE Wessexscene.co.uk PAGE 23 COPING Academic Angst WITH M.E.

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Volunteering Satisfaction Hanah Steel

Returning to University after water. It was great to see wildlife Christmas I was looking for some- making use of their new home so thing constructive to spend my time soon. on, something both challenging and rewarding. Volunteering offered Volunteering is a great way of find- just the solution. ing your interests, as well as gaining valuable skills for your future The first time I ventured into career. If you want to get involved Student Community Action HQ I in the local community or have was greeted by smiling faces and a ideas for a new project, don’t delay host of exciting opportunities. I - go and see SCA right away! jumped at the opportunity to create a wildlife garden at a local school Ruth French, SCA Co-ordinator and a week later visited St Deny’s & Hannah Steel, Primary School to carry out a brief SCA Educational Projects survey and discuss plans with Head Co-ordinator Mistress Carolyn Fayle. My aim Telephone: 023 80595209, was to create a little oasis away Email: [email protected] from dreary concrete surroundings, Website: http://action.susu.org. an educational and stimulating out- door classroom! A special thanks to B&Q for their support in donating £280 and assist- Monday 30th April, University of much-needed hand and, having were used to build a pathway to the The next day I returned to take a ing us in choosing tools and plants; Southampton Charter Day. While a foolishly brought a pair of wellies, pond’s edge, ensuring of course that group of children to sow some wild- Maidenhead Aquatic Garden for few thousand students celebrated was set to work in the swampy the stepping-stones were a child’s flower seeds. They burst into their their £40 discount and Wyevale Charter Day at the Students’ Union depths of the pond. pace apart. The host of trees, shrubs, new garden in delight and immedi- Garden Centre for their £20 gift Carnival, the SCA team set to work heather and flowers were assembled ately began to spot the wildlife. vouchers. weeding, removing turf, trimming After lunch the Rock Mobile and planted. After a rapid round of Look! A Bumble Bee in the heather shrubbery and assembling garden arrived. Our package of boulders watering we were done. The garden one child yelled, almost prodding it Next year we’ll be building a benches. Sylvia Wakeham, SCA and pebbles was hoisted skywards was complete! Tired and muddy, to death with his stick. A spider wildlife garden at Swaythling patron and wife of the University’s by crane, over the fence and into the we headed for the bar. After serious scuttled over the moon rock and Primary School. Get in touch if Vice Chancellor, arrived to lend a playground, very exciting! These Radox treatment of course. water boatmen dashed across the you’d like to be involved. 1872 - WESSEX-freshers 2002 23/9/02 6:01 pm Page 24

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Volunteering Satisfaction Hanah Steel

WESSEX WESSEX PAGE 26 Wessexscene.co.uk SCENE SCENE Wessexscene.co.uk PAGE 27 RUNNING AWAY WITH ENGLAND COME ARCHERY NEW SPORTS CENTRE TO ST. MARY’S CALLING ALL BUDDING ROBIN HOODS!

Hello and welcome to a brand new From sky-diving to pottery, the Richard Wiltshire term of frenzied activity as University’s societies cater for Southampton’s clubs and societies every taste, and once you’re Southampton University Archery Anybody who would like to try gear up for another season of com- hooked, we want to know about it! Club (S.U.A.C) is a long-estab- their hand at archery can come petitions, performances and lished club which is happy to wel- along to a free “taster” session in events! Email your stories to us and let come new members of all standards. the Sports Hall, 4-7pm on Tuesday Laura King everyone know the dare-devil 8 October. With over 100 clubs to chose from, stunts, campaigns and competi- Work on the new sports centre on The progress of the sports centre the new 100 station fitness suite as there is definitely something for tions you’ve been involved in. the Highfield Campus is now well and of work elsewhere on the union facilities in the existing sports cen- The membership cost includes everyone and the team at Wessex under way and the building is has been slightly delayed by conser- tre can be overcrowded at peak coaching from experienced profes- Scene love to hear what you’ve all The next edition of Wessex Scene scheduled to open by Christmas vation concerns. The site proved to times. There will also be a refresh- sionals, which is a huge help to new been up to. promises to be packed with news 2003. be a wildlife habitat, home to badg- ment area, perfect for replacing all and experienced archers alike. from Southampton’s clubs, so ers, bats and newts who seemed to the calories just burned in the gym. So be sure to head on down to the don’t hang back, email the stories The site is being developed by lead- enjoy living closely with thousands S.U.A.C also provides a great union for the Bunfight on Saturday from your society to clubsandsoci- ing construction company Dean of noisy students. The new facilities, although prima- opportunity to meet new people, 5th of October to find out the best [email protected] and get Tickets for the vital Euro 2004 remaining. This is the first full England inter- and Dyball who were also responsi- rily for us, will also be open to local particularly for freshers. We have The new centre is next to the stu- way of making new friends and more people interested! England vs Macedonia qualifier This will be the first time the national visit to the South Coast for ble for the School of Nursing on the residents and schools out of term lots of socials (piss ups!) and we dents union and will have a range of learning new skills. on the Wednesday 16th October Friends Provident St. Mary’s 99 years, since a visit to Portsmouth Highfield Campus and the Textile time. Membership will run on a have already sold out. Stadium has hosted such a presti- in 1903. are regulars at the one and only Conservation Centre at Winchester facilities, including a six lane 25 similar system as to that operating gious fixture since its opening a Many people who join the club Crown Inn Quiz as well as running School of Arts. The Ocean Village metre swimming pool which will now, with different offers to suit the Within 2 hours of going on gener- year ago. It has previously held an have never even seen a bow and trips to slightly more exciting loca- leisure complex in Southampton is mean that students will no longer more or less active student. al sale the lines were closed, with England u20 fixture and another arrow, yet go on to represent the tions. another one of their projects. have to travel to New College in only a few disabled seats still international: Japan vs Nigeria. university in B.U.S.A competitions. order to swim. The plans also More information about the new Anybody with a very basic level of Its great fun and an excellent Construction costs of the new facil- include a large sports hall with eight sports centre can be obtained from hand-eye co-ordination can become opportunity to try a new and slight- ities are currently at 5.8 million and badminton courts, spectator seating the Department of Sport and a good archer with a little bit of ly unusual new sport, so come additional overheads may bring the areas and both wet and dry chang- Recreaton or at: practice. Also, unlike many other along and meet us at the bunfight or total project cost up to around 7.8 ing rooms. sports, archery allows you to chart taster session. Look forward to see- million. A welcome part of the centre will be www.soton.ac.uk/sportrec. Blood, sweat your progress, as your scores ing you there! Editor’s (hopefully!) start to improve. S.U.A.C takes part in many competitions, including the regional B.U.S.A league. As it is accepted and beers that many people have never tried archery until they go to university, with Laura King most competitions have a “novice” Column section, for those archers who have been shooting for less than 1 year. Hello everyone and welcome to Its been a fantastic summer of The World Cup: Southampton Uni style my first issue as the ‘scene’s new sport with the excitement of the The great thing about this is that it sports ed. I’m intending to carry world cup: very much enjoyed by allows new members to compete on on the fine tradition of Susy and everyone before the end of term Laura King penalty, not so at the University and third round in a football tourna- an even footing with other Chrissie last year. (and a great excuse to get drunk at Japan-Korea, June 2002 and the a drunken lunch was enjoyed by ment. After all, we soon knew we “novices”, before being thrown into lunchtime, not that we needed only time that University of many! were playing Brazil so what was the bear-pit that is senior archery First of all I’d like to welcome all one!) followed by Wimbledon Southampton students were seen there to get excited about? competition, which requires new freshers. (Particularly those who and the Commonwealth Games. out of bed before eight am. The atmosphere in Southampton excuses for the same old rubbish support Southampton F.C!) You Previously disinterested blokes and city centre after that game and the It was unfortunate (and highly scores! have THE BEST year ahead of Closer to home, our excellent football widows suddenly declared following Denmark rout was amaz inconsiderate of FIFA) that this Also, it offers members the chance you: drinking, clubbing, meeting football and rowing teams a lifelong love of the beautiful ing. Groups of students were party- tournament should occur at the to represent their university at an people... oh yeah and maybe the amongst others will be looking to game and Beckham’s Mohican ing in the streets and footballs (as same time as our exams. I under- early stage, before progressing to odd bit of work thrown in too! build on their many successes of mullet became the hairstyle. opposed to the usual beer cans) stand that a certain first year histo- the senior team. last year. There is a full list of were kicked up and down London ry exam among others was severe- Make sure that you get involved sports clubs, both colours (for the That Sweden game: it made a wel- Road. It was weird, as if we’d won ly delayed by the injury time S.U.A.C is a relatively inexpensive in loads of things, especially the professionals!) and recreational come change from the Hollyoaks a world war, not simply got to the played at the end of the Argentina club to join. All equipment is pro- sports clubs and societies. (for the rest of us,) on the omnibus on a Sunday morning but match and the consequent inability vided for beginners, as well as a Whether you’re a budding Website: www.susu.org to be honest, was a bit of a disap- of several students to be parted great deal of assistance early on Olympian or just want to play pointment. A far greater cheer was with their (or the pub’s) TV. from the more experienced (but not recreationally or for your hall in What better place to build on heard when newcomers Senegal ‘Students were necessarily always better!) archers. the various inter-mural competi- these achievements than in our helped to dispatch the reigning After Brazil, and David Seaman’s tions, you’ll find something to lovely new sport’s centre, due to French Champions. Still, this was partying in the Gazza impression, it was back Regular sessions take place on var- suit you. open early 2003. It will be great only the first round and anything down to earth with a hangover and ious days, details of which are to have a pool on site and I think could happen, and did. streets and foot- frantic revising recommenced. available on the web site at The Bunfight on 5th October in everyone will agree it was a Flags and face paints were put www.soton.ac.uk/~archclub/, and the sports hall is a good time to change that needed making and it For Argentina, nerves had replaced balls were kicked away and everyone stayed in bed at the bunfight. find out more so go along and looks as if its going to be well expectation. I watched the game until lunchtime once more. They stole from the rich to give to the poor! have look. Remember, your uni- worth the wait. With these facili- from behind a bar at, of all places, up and down However, the Mohican remained, versity needs you!!! ties, sport at Southampton can St. Mary’s Stadium. There, the adorning the heads of male stu- only keep on getting better. cheer when Wayne Bridge took to London Road’ dents everywhere. What will we do the field matched that of the in 2006? 1872 - WESSEX-freshers 2002 23/9/02 6:01 pm Page 26

WESSEX WESSEX PAGE 26 Wessexscene.co.uk SCENE SCENE Wessexscene.co.uk PAGE 27 RUNNING AWAY WITH ENGLAND COME ARCHERY NEW SPORTS CENTRE TO ST. MARY’S CALLING ALL BUDDING ROBIN HOODS!

WESSEX

Swessexscene.co.ukP 14thO May 2002 - ISSUER 755 - PRICELESST Chris Tuffil

Term is nearly upon us, and Tiger the Sports Hall. (Vice President Student Activities) This year’s AU Colours Ball is cur- is out of the Country sunning him- rently being planned. Dates are yet self in South Africa! It now falls to GOING FOR GOLD! to be confirmed but the event will me, Chris, your overworked, be after the Easter Vacation. Ticket unpaid, AU Officer to welcome sales are commencing much earlier you back and inform you of what this year, so keep an eye out for fur- delights are in store for the forth- ther information on this event coming year. I have never done which will be even better than last this before so bare with me, here year’s. Anyone who fancies getting goes! involved in the organisation of this ball should get in contact with me - Well, here we go again, term starts, I always need lots of help as there the bank accounts are recharged, are masses of things to be done. and the outlook is good. A year full Don’t be shy, be part of something of sporting activities to show all of great. the other universities just how good Southampton University real- AU Gold cards have been created ly is. Whether the competition is for this year. As a GOLD CARD on the pitch or in the bar, I feel that holder you receive reduced cost this is going to be a good year - just entry to the GOLD NIGHT, how many sporting successes lie chances to WIN £50 CASH every ahead of us? week. Gold Card membership benefits your club also. A large pro- Many acheivements will be expected again this year. A venue that can cope with up to The Walkabout Cup on Sunday 13th portion of the money that you pay remembered from last year - partic- Sporting activities are not the only 1200 students, a new nightclub, 3 October starts off our fixtures for the to enter the union on GOLD ularly when we beat the Institute at activities being improved by the bars, 2am license, Cheesy Tunes year, let us start off the year the way NIGHT will go straight back to football, 5-1, at the St Mary’s sta- Athletic Union this year. With a and Union Bar prices we just can- we intend to carry on by beating our your club!! dium, and then when we beat them, new Union, we have a new Venue not go wrong. The item that local rivals the Southampton again, at Cricket at the Hampshire for Wednesday nights. Wicked clinched the deal for me is the Institute. Matches are being played The first GOLD NIGHT is on Rose Bowl. Both were tremendous Wednesdays are returning to the thought of the Safety Bus home at at Wellington Sports Ground, and Wednesday 9th October. BE events and repeat performances are Students Union for GOLD NIGHT. 2am for only £1! BARGAIN!!! the Basketball will be taking place in THERE!!!