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The Ransom of Prince Mal Written By: Liz Strauss, Dover Public Library

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The Ransom of Prince Mal Written By: Liz Strauss, Dover Public Library The Ransom of Prince Mal Written by: Liz Strauss, Dover Public Library You may use and modify this play for your nonprofit performances, but please give credit to the author and to Dover Public Library. We would also greatly appreciate you letting us know when and where you used the play. Visit us on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/doverpubliclibrary/ or email Liz at [email protected] or Jen at [email protected]. We would LOVE to hear from you! Plot Synopsis: Prince Mal is the most rotten kid in the kingdom. The baker knows it, the blacksmith know it, the King and Queen know it. But the outlaws who just arrived in the kingdom don’t know it. When Prince Mal is taken hostage by the notorious Tornado Gang, the royal family throws a party while the Tornado Gang realizes that crime really doesn’t pay. Especially when you kidnap Prince Mal. Based on “The Ransom of Red Chief” by O. Henry Note: This play is in 2 acts so your cast can be broken down into 2 groups for rehearsals. CAST OF CHARACTERS Narrator Quack, Quack, Honk At Least 2 Ducklings Honk, the “Ugly Duckling” Mama Duck Papa Duck (no lines) Teacher Duck At least 2 Fish (each of a different color) Lady Swan Lord Swan *Additional Ducks, Fish, and Swans may be added Royalty Prince Mal King Queen Princess Clarissa The Baker The Blacksmith The Royal Tutor Townspeople Servants Palace Guards The Tornado Gang: Henry Sam Bill Dorset Johnny Act 1: “Quack, Quack, Honk” A retelling of “The Ugly Duckling” Scene: Pond, Morning. MAMA and PAPA Stand Stage Right, DUCKLINGS Stand Center Stage. HONK hides behind MAMA & PAPA) MAMA: (waves) Bye, bye, Ducklings! PAPA: (waves) Have fun at school! MAMA: (pushes HONK toward Center Stage) You, too, Honk! It’s about time you went to school! PAPA: (aside, to MAMA) Think this will help? MAMA: (aside, to PAPA) Can’t hurt… DUCKLING 1: Quack! DUCKLING 2: Quack! HONK: Honk! MAMA and PAPA turn to each other and shrug. Exit MAMA and PAPA Stage Right DUCKLINGS and HONK waddle/walk in place in a line across the stage TEACHER enters Stage Left TEACHER: Good morning, class! DUCKLINGS and HONK answer at the same time ALL DUCKLINGS: Quack! HONK: Honk! TEACHER: Now, Honk, don’t you think it’s time you quacked? DUCKLING 1: Yeah, what’s wrong with you? DUCKLING 2: Just try, okay? HONK: I do try. But every time, all I can do is (louder) HONK! TEACHER: (sighs and shakes head) Let’s show him how it’s done, Ducklings! TEACHER points to DUCKLINGS one at a time, like he’s conducting a choir. As TEACHER points to each DUCKLING, he or she Quacks TEACHER: Very good. (points to HONK) Now you. HONK: Honk! ALL DUCKLINGS AND TEACHER: Arrrg! (Or other sounds of exasperation) DUCKLING 1: No, Honk. Like this: Quack! DUCKLING 2: You can do it, Honk! TEACHER: Let’s try the Duck Dance. That’ll get her quacking! All DUCKLINGS and TEACHER stand across the stage to perform the Duck Dance. Dance is performed much like the Chicken Dance. Can clap on the “Quacks” if you want. Have fun, make it up. Here are the words: DUCKLINGS & TEACHER: I don’t wanna be a chicken It’s good to be a duck So I can shake my stuff! Quack, Quack, Quack, Quack! You don’t wanna be a chicken You wanna be a duck So you can shake your stuff! Quack, Quack, Quack, Quack! (CHORUS: DUCKLINGS and TEACHER reel, arms linked going in circles as they sing) Oh, it’s good to be a Duckling So good to Quack and sing! Oh it’s good to be a Duckling! Come on Honk and sing along! Quack, Quack, Quack, Quack! (Feel free to add a flourish at the end – like a “Yeah!” or something) HONK: I don’t wanna be a chicken It’s good to be a duck So I can shake my stuff! (deep breath) Honk! (confused) Honk! Honk! (sad) Honk! TEACHER: (sadly) Oh, no! HONK: Honk! Honk! (runs off Stage Left honking) DUCKLING 1: Come back, Honk! DUCKLING 2: It’s okay, Honk! TEACHER: (motions for DUCKLINGS to follow) Let’s go get her, Ducklings. TEACHER AND DUCKLINGS: Quack! Exit TEACHER and DUCKLINGS Stage Left. HONK enters stage Right, waddle walking to center stage) HONK: (stops walking; looks around; very sad and distressed) I can do this. Okay, Honk. Now, don’t honk. (deep breath) Honk! (sad) I’m never gonna do it right. FISH 1: (Jumping onstage from Stage Right) What’s this? FISH 2: (Jumping onstage from Stage Right) A duck? HONK: (keeps trying) Honk? Honk. FISH 2: Duck that can’t quack? FISH 1: (Laughs) That’s no duck! FISH 2: Even fish can quack, when we wanna. FISH 1: See, Quack! FISH 2: Quack! FISH 1 & 2: You’ll never be a chicken You won’t even be a duck Watch us shake our stuff Quack, Quack, Quack, Quack! (Hah hah hah ha hah to the tune of the chorus.) Quack, Quack, Quack, Quack! HONK waddle-walks away to Stage Left HONK: (starting to cry) Honk! Honk! Honk! FISH laugh, HONK continues to cry Enter SWANS Stage Right LADY: Go away, you filthy fish! Shoo! LORD: Back to the water where you belong, you bullies! FISH 1: Quack, quack, Duckling! (laughs) FISH 2: (shakes butt, laughing) Exit FISH, jumping LADY: (Noticing HONK) What’s this? LORD: Mmm? (Pause, noticing HONK, too) Looks like a little lost Duckling. HONK: (hopeful) Honk? Enter MAMA and PAPA MAMA: Come on home now, Honk. PAPA: We’ll try school next year, when you’re ready. HONK: (stomps foot in frustration) I’m not going home, not until I qua- qua – HONK! LADY: But, sweetie, you’re not a duckling! You’re a --- PRINCE MAL: (screaming from off stage) Come here little swan! I wanna play tag with you! ALL: (Terrified) Oh no! Prince Mal! HONK: (Scared and Surprised) Honk! Exit ALL, running Enter PRINCE MAL, running from Stage Right PRINCE MAL: (yelling) Honk! Come here little swan! Don’t you wanna play “duck soup” with me? Exit PRINCE MAL, running, Stage Left Act 2: “The Ransom of Prince Mal” NARRATOR: Once upon a time, there lived a very naughty prince… MAL: (off stage, calling) Ho-onk! NARRATOR: His name was Mal. Enter BAKER, BLACKSMITH, and TOWNSPEOPLE, Stage Left, going about daily business NARRATOR: When the Baker’s cookies didn’t turn out as expected… TOWNSPERSON 1: Hey! These sprinkles taste like dirt! NARRATOR: The Baker knew exactly who to blame. BAKER: (angrily yelling) Prince Mal!! NARRATOR: When someone replaced the Blacksmith’s hammer with a rubber chicken… TOWNSPEOPLE: (laughing, pointing) NARRATOR: Everyone knew who had been there first thing that morning. BLACKSMITH: (Throws rubber chicken off stage left. Angrily) Prince Mal!! NARRATOR: And when someone taped a “Kick Me” sign on the Royal Tutor’s back Enter ROYAL TUTOR stage left, trying to get sign off his back in a very silly kind of dance across the stage NARRATOR: There was no doubt… TOWNSPERSON 2: (watching as TUTOR continues to try to get sign off back) Prince Mal is in rare form today. Enter PRINCESS CLARISSA, Stage Right CLARISSA: Let me help you, Tutor. (TUTOR stops his funny get-this-off-me dance, CLARISSA rips the sign off his back, crumbles it up, and tosses it to the audience) TUTOR: (very relieved) Oh, thank you, Princess! (pause) I just don’t know what to do about that brother of yours… (suddenly nervous) I mean, uh, his Royal Highness the Prince Mal. CLARISSA: No need to be polite. Everyone knows Prince Mal is a royal pain. EVERYONE ELSE ON STAGE: (loudly, all together) You can say that again! Enter MAL, honking and acting like a bird – think crazy kind of chicken dance with head bobbing EVERYONE BUT CLARISSA: (screeching) Your Highness! Exit TOWNSPEOPLE, ROYAL TUTOR, BAKER, AND BLACKSMITH, scattered CLARISSA: (arms folded, looking disapprovingly at the still-dancing PRINCE MAL) What are we going to do about you? Exit MAL Stage Left Enter PALACE GUARD 1 Stage Right GUARD 1: (walks up to CLARISSA) Princess! Come quickly! There is a savage gang on the loose, and we must get you back to the Palace immediately! (takes CLARISSA’S arm and walks her to the far Stage Right) CLARISSA: (takes arm back) Hold on. What savage gang? Enter the TORNADO GANG (HENRY, SAM, BILL, DORSET, and JOHNNY) Stage Left, arguing. HENRY is in the lead. SAM acts very strangely and keeps adjusting an “invisible” hat. HENRY: (shakes out an empty coin purse and shakes his head) Out of dough again. BILL: Maybe the Baker will have some! DORSET & JOHNNY: (lightly slap BILL upside the head) HENRY: (pointing at SAM) This is all your fault! If you hadn’t given all your money to that swindler… SAM: You’re just jealous that you don’t have a hat like mine (adjusts hat) DORSET & JOHNNY: (sigh heavily, exasperated) HENRY: (yelling) You’re not wearing a hat! SAM: (yelling back) Am so! It’s invisible. It’s the latest in fashion. (adjusts it again, winks at audience) BILL: (very seriously) I think it looks fantastic. DORSET & JOHNNY: (Slap their own foreheads in unison) HENRY: (looks up) What did I do to deserve this? (sighs) More importantly, what are we going to do for money? MAL: (offstage) Honk, Honk! I’m gonna get you! TUTOR: (offstage) Your Highness, please! It’s time for your lessons! HENRY: Your Highness, huh? (sound of footsteps getting closer) You hear that? Hide! TORNADO GANG “hides” (crouches down in various positions across the stage – BILL just turns around) MAL: (running onto Stage Left) You can’t catch me, Tutor! I’m faster than the gingerbread man! (runs off the other side of the stage) CLARISSA taps GUARD 1 on the arm, and they walk together across the stage, slowly as she says the next line.
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