The Ransom of Prince Mal Written by: Liz Strauss, Dover Public Library
You may use and modify this play for your nonprofit performances, but please give credit to the author and to Dover Public Library.
We would also greatly appreciate you letting us know when and where you used the play. Visit us on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/doverpubliclibrary/ or email Liz at [email protected] or Jen at [email protected]. We would LOVE to hear from you!
Plot Synopsis: Prince Mal is the most rotten kid in the kingdom. The baker knows it, the blacksmith know it, the King and Queen know it. But the outlaws who just arrived in the kingdom don’t know it. When Prince Mal is taken hostage by the notorious Tornado Gang, the royal family throws a party while the Tornado Gang realizes that crime really doesn’t pay. Especially when you kidnap Prince Mal.
Based on “The Ransom of Red Chief” by O. Henry
Note: This play is in 2 acts so your cast can be broken down into 2 groups for rehearsals.
CAST OF CHARACTERS Narrator
Quack, Quack, Honk At Least 2 Ducklings Honk, the “Ugly Duckling” Mama Duck Papa Duck (no lines) Teacher Duck At least 2 Fish (each of a different color) Lady Swan Lord Swan *Additional Ducks, Fish, and Swans may be added
Royalty Prince Mal King Queen Princess Clarissa The Baker The Blacksmith The Royal Tutor Townspeople Servants Palace Guards
The Tornado Gang: Henry Sam Bill Dorset Johnny
Act 1: “Quack, Quack, Honk” A retelling of “The Ugly Duckling”
Scene: Pond, Morning.
MAMA and PAPA Stand Stage Right, DUCKLINGS Stand Center Stage. HONK hides behind MAMA & PAPA)
MAMA: (waves) Bye, bye, Ducklings!
PAPA: (waves) Have fun at school!
MAMA: (pushes HONK toward Center Stage) You, too, Honk! It’s about time you went to school!
PAPA: (aside, to MAMA) Think this will help?
MAMA: (aside, to PAPA) Can’t hurt…
DUCKLING 1: Quack!
DUCKLING 2: Quack!
HONK: Honk!
MAMA and PAPA turn to each other and shrug. Exit MAMA and PAPA Stage Right
DUCKLINGS and HONK waddle/walk in place in a line across the stage
TEACHER enters Stage Left
TEACHER: Good morning, class!
DUCKLINGS and HONK answer at the same time
ALL DUCKLINGS: Quack!
HONK: Honk!
TEACHER: Now, Honk, don’t you think it’s time you quacked?
DUCKLING 1: Yeah, what’s wrong with you?
DUCKLING 2: Just try, okay?
HONK: I do try. But every time, all I can do is (louder) HONK!
TEACHER: (sighs and shakes head) Let’s show him how it’s done, Ducklings!
TEACHER points to DUCKLINGS one at a time, like he’s conducting a choir. As TEACHER points to each DUCKLING, he or she Quacks
TEACHER: Very good. (points to HONK) Now you.
HONK: Honk!
ALL DUCKLINGS AND TEACHER: Arrrg! (Or other sounds of exasperation)
DUCKLING 1: No, Honk. Like this: Quack!
DUCKLING 2: You can do it, Honk!
TEACHER: Let’s try the Duck Dance. That’ll get her quacking!
All DUCKLINGS and TEACHER stand across the stage to perform the Duck Dance. Dance is performed much like the Chicken Dance. Can clap on the “Quacks” if you want. Have fun, make it up. Here are the words:
DUCKLINGS & TEACHER:
I don’t wanna be a chicken It’s good to be a duck So I can shake my stuff! Quack, Quack, Quack, Quack!
You don’t wanna be a chicken You wanna be a duck So you can shake your stuff! Quack, Quack, Quack, Quack!
(CHORUS: DUCKLINGS and TEACHER reel, arms linked going in circles as they sing)
Oh, it’s good to be a Duckling So good to Quack and sing! Oh it’s good to be a Duckling! Come on Honk and sing along! Quack, Quack, Quack, Quack!
(Feel free to add a flourish at the end – like a “Yeah!” or something)
HONK: I don’t wanna be a chicken It’s good to be a duck So I can shake my stuff!
(deep breath) Honk! (confused) Honk! Honk! (sad) Honk!
TEACHER: (sadly) Oh, no!
HONK: Honk! Honk! (runs off Stage Left honking)
DUCKLING 1: Come back, Honk!
DUCKLING 2: It’s okay, Honk!
TEACHER: (motions for DUCKLINGS to follow) Let’s go get her, Ducklings.
TEACHER AND DUCKLINGS: Quack!
Exit TEACHER and DUCKLINGS Stage Left. HONK enters stage Right, waddle walking to center stage)
HONK: (stops walking; looks around; very sad and distressed) I can do this. Okay, Honk. Now, don’t honk. (deep breath) Honk! (sad) I’m never gonna do it right.
FISH 1: (Jumping onstage from Stage Right) What’s this?
FISH 2: (Jumping onstage from Stage Right) A duck?
HONK: (keeps trying) Honk? Honk.
FISH 2: Duck that can’t quack?
FISH 1: (Laughs) That’s no duck!
FISH 2: Even fish can quack, when we wanna.
FISH 1: See, Quack!
FISH 2: Quack!
FISH 1 & 2: You’ll never be a chicken You won’t even be a duck Watch us shake our stuff Quack, Quack, Quack, Quack!
(Hah hah hah ha hah to the tune of the chorus.)
Quack, Quack, Quack, Quack!
HONK waddle-walks away to Stage Left
HONK: (starting to cry) Honk! Honk! Honk!
FISH laugh, HONK continues to cry
Enter SWANS Stage Right
LADY: Go away, you filthy fish! Shoo!
LORD: Back to the water where you belong, you bullies!
FISH 1: Quack, quack, Duckling! (laughs)
FISH 2: (shakes butt, laughing)
Exit FISH, jumping
LADY: (Noticing HONK) What’s this?
LORD: Mmm? (Pause, noticing HONK, too) Looks like a little lost Duckling.
HONK: (hopeful) Honk?
Enter MAMA and PAPA
MAMA: Come on home now, Honk.
PAPA: We’ll try school next year, when you’re ready.
HONK: (stomps foot in frustration) I’m not going home, not until I qua- qua – HONK!
LADY: But, sweetie, you’re not a duckling! You’re a ---
PRINCE MAL: (screaming from off stage) Come here little swan! I wanna play tag with you!
ALL: (Terrified) Oh no! Prince Mal!
HONK: (Scared and Surprised) Honk!
Exit ALL, running
Enter PRINCE MAL, running from Stage Right
PRINCE MAL: (yelling) Honk! Come here little swan! Don’t you wanna play “duck soup” with me?
Exit PRINCE MAL, running, Stage Left
Act 2: “The Ransom of Prince Mal”
NARRATOR: Once upon a time, there lived a very naughty prince…
MAL: (off stage, calling) Ho-onk!
NARRATOR: His name was Mal.
Enter BAKER, BLACKSMITH, and TOWNSPEOPLE, Stage Left, going about daily business
NARRATOR: When the Baker’s cookies didn’t turn out as expected…
TOWNSPERSON 1: Hey! These sprinkles taste like dirt!
NARRATOR: The Baker knew exactly who to blame.
BAKER: (angrily yelling) Prince Mal!!
NARRATOR: When someone replaced the Blacksmith’s hammer with a rubber chicken…
TOWNSPEOPLE: (laughing, pointing)
NARRATOR: Everyone knew who had been there first thing that morning.
BLACKSMITH: (Throws rubber chicken off stage left. Angrily) Prince Mal!!
NARRATOR: And when someone taped a “Kick Me” sign on the Royal Tutor’s back
Enter ROYAL TUTOR stage left, trying to get sign off his back in a very silly kind of dance across the stage
NARRATOR: There was no doubt…
TOWNSPERSON 2: (watching as TUTOR continues to try to get sign off back) Prince Mal is in rare form today.
Enter PRINCESS CLARISSA, Stage Right
CLARISSA: Let me help you, Tutor. (TUTOR stops his funny get-this-off-me dance, CLARISSA rips the sign off his back, crumbles it up, and tosses it to the audience)
TUTOR: (very relieved) Oh, thank you, Princess! (pause) I just don’t know what to do about that brother of yours… (suddenly nervous) I mean, uh, his Royal Highness the Prince Mal.
CLARISSA: No need to be polite. Everyone knows Prince Mal is a royal pain.
EVERYONE ELSE ON STAGE: (loudly, all together) You can say that again!
Enter MAL, honking and acting like a bird – think crazy kind of chicken dance with head bobbing
EVERYONE BUT CLARISSA: (screeching) Your Highness!
Exit TOWNSPEOPLE, ROYAL TUTOR, BAKER, AND BLACKSMITH, scattered
CLARISSA: (arms folded, looking disapprovingly at the still-dancing PRINCE MAL) What are we going to do about you?
Exit MAL Stage Left
Enter PALACE GUARD 1 Stage Right
GUARD 1: (walks up to CLARISSA) Princess! Come quickly! There is a savage gang on the loose, and we must get you back to the Palace immediately! (takes CLARISSA’S arm and walks her to the far Stage Right)
CLARISSA: (takes arm back) Hold on. What savage gang?
Enter the TORNADO GANG (HENRY, SAM, BILL, DORSET, and JOHNNY) Stage Left, arguing. HENRY is in the lead. SAM acts very strangely and keeps adjusting an “invisible” hat.
HENRY: (shakes out an empty coin purse and shakes his head) Out of dough again.
BILL: Maybe the Baker will have some!
DORSET & JOHNNY: (lightly slap BILL upside the head)
HENRY: (pointing at SAM) This is all your fault! If you hadn’t given all your money to that swindler…
SAM: You’re just jealous that you don’t have a hat like mine (adjusts hat)
DORSET & JOHNNY: (sigh heavily, exasperated)
HENRY: (yelling) You’re not wearing a hat!
SAM: (yelling back) Am so! It’s invisible. It’s the latest in fashion. (adjusts it again, winks at audience)
BILL: (very seriously) I think it looks fantastic.
DORSET & JOHNNY: (Slap their own foreheads in unison)
HENRY: (looks up) What did I do to deserve this? (sighs) More importantly, what are we going to do for money?
MAL: (offstage) Honk, Honk! I’m gonna get you!
TUTOR: (offstage) Your Highness, please! It’s time for your lessons!
HENRY: Your Highness, huh? (sound of footsteps getting closer) You hear that? Hide!
TORNADO GANG “hides” (crouches down in various positions across the stage – BILL just turns around)
MAL: (running onto Stage Left) You can’t catch me, Tutor! I’m faster than the gingerbread man! (runs off the other side of the stage)
CLARISSA taps GUARD 1 on the arm, and they walk together across the stage, slowly as she says the next line.
CLARISSA: (Loudly) I do worry about the young prince being out on his own so much. Anything could happen to him. (even louder, so the TORNADO GANG could not miss it even if they were trying) I mean, a vicious gang could kidnap him for ransom! (HENRY pops up from his “hiding” spot)
Exit CLARISSA and GUARD Stage Left.
HENRY: Did you hear that, Tornadoes?
Other TORNADO GANG members come out of hiding and join HENRY center stage.
HENRY: (smiling) I think our money troubles are soon to be over… (looks at others, who return smile) This calls for our secret handshake!
In a line across the stage, the TORNADO GANG does their secret handshake: Turn to the Right and Fist-bump, Turn to the Left and Fist-bump, spin in a tight circle, and go down on one knee while doing “jazz hands”
MAL runs across the stage as they’re doing jazz hands
HENRY: (Yelling and pointing after him) Catch that Prince!
Exit TORNADO GANG, running after PRINCE MAL
End Scene
Scene 2: Palace Interior
Enter KING and QUEEN stage Right, QUEEN holding a scroll.
KING: I’m thinking we should double the Palace Guard while this Tornado Gang is in town…
QUEEN: Never mind some silly gang! Mal has been at it again. (Flings open scroll – a very long list)
KING: What’s this?
QUEEN: This is a list of complaints against your son! What are you going to do about it, Your Majesty?
KING: (steps away from Queen and puts hand on his chin, thinking) Hmmm…
Enter GUARDS 2 and 3 Stage Left
GUARD 2: Your Majesties! The Prince has been kidnapped!
KING & QUEEN: Kidnapped?
Enter CLARISSA with SERVANT, stage Left, Servant holding a tray with an envelope on it
CLARISSA: It seems the Tornado Gang is demanding a ransom to release little Mal. (takes envelope, opens it, and holds it out to KING and QUEEN, so they can read it)
HENRY: (Offstage) To whose it concerns. We, the terrifying Tornado Gang, have taken your sweet little Prince Mal. And we ain’t giving him back for no less than 500 gold pieces. Meet us at midnight by the duck pond for the exchange. No funny business! Invisible coins not accepted.
QUEEN: Just 500 gold pieces? That doesn’t seem too bad… (pause) A little insulting, actually.
KING: (smiles, taking letter, starts to laugh)
QUEEN: Are you laughing at a time like this?
KING: Well, my dear, you did ask what I was going to do about Mal. (takes scroll from Queen, puts it on the SERVANT’S tray)
QUEEN: (outraged) But out son is the in the hands of a savage gang of outlaws! Think of what they could be doing to him!
CLARISSA: (smiling) Yes, think what they could be doing to him… And what he isn’t doing to us.
Enter TUTOR stage Left
TUTOR: Is it true? Has Prince Mal been kidnapped?
QUEEN: (sadly) It’s true!
TUTOR: (calling out with a smile) It’s true, everyone!
Enter TOWNSPEOPLE, BAKER, BLACKSMITH, GUARDS, ETC with confetti, noisemakers, etc.
ALL BUT QUEEN: (Cheer and throw confetti into audience and generally throw a little party)
QUEEN: (yelling) Wait a minute! Wait a minute! (party stops) What about my son? How are we going to get him back?
ALL BUT QUEEN: (shouting, together) We’re not! (party continues for a moment)
Exit PARTIERS in a parade formation Stage Left. Exit QUEEN after them, shaking her head.
End Scene
Scene 3: Pond
NARRATOR: And so, there was a great party throughout the kingdom while the Baker, the Blacksmith, the Tutor, and all the rest enjoyed their vacation from the shenanigans of Prince Mal. Midnight came around, and by the duck pond, the Tornado Gang waited.
Enter HENRY Stage Right
HENRY: (looks around) Where could they be?
MAL: (offstage whooping and yelling)
Enter SAM, looking frazzled, clothing crumpled.
SAM: I can’t take it anymore, Henry! I just can’t take it! That little… that little…
HENRY: Gold machine? (Sits down on a stump, he’s exhausted)
SAM: Stole my new hat and threw it in the pond!
Sound of a splash offstage.
BILL: (running onstage from Right, hair wet, holding the invisible hat out to SAM): I got it!
MAL: (running after BILL) Again! Again! (bounces around all three TORNADOES)
SAM takes “hat,” flings off the “water,” and puts it back on his head.
MAL: (steals shoe from HENRY’S foot and throws it off stage Right … splash sound)
HENRY: (yelling, very angily) You… you… what’d you do that for?
MAL: (Stomps feet and folds arms over his chest, throwing tantrum) I wanna play my new game! I order you to play with me!
HENRY: (gets right in Mal’s face) (Loudly) NO!
MAL: (Stomps around stage)
BILL: (watching MAL) Awe, Henry, have a heart, huh? He’s just a little…
SAM: Demon.
Enter DORSET and JOHNNY Stage Left, wrapped loosely in yarn, tied together
MAL: (Bouncing up and down, happy again) Yay! You caught up to me! Now I can tie you up again! Maybe this time to a tree!
Exit Stage Left DORSET and JOHNNY as quickly as they can, being chased by MAL
HENRY: (shakes head) The sooner we get rid of that kid the better…
BILL: (looks offstage Right and back and HENRY) You want me to go get your shoe, boss?
HENRY: (defeated) No…
BILL shrugs then Exits Left. SAM adjusts his hat and Exits Left.
Enter SERVANT 1 Stage Right carrying a tray with a letter on it, accompanied by a GUARD. They walk up to HENRY’s stump.
SERVANT 1: (stammering) Excuse me, Sir. I have a message for the leader of the terrifying Tornado Gang… from the Royal Family.
HENRY takes the envelope and opens it
CLARISSA: (offstage) To the Leader of the Tornado Gang. We, the Honorable Royal Family, have a counter-offer for you regarding Prince Mal. We are prepared to take him back for no less than 500 gold pieces. Turn him in at the Palace by tomorrow at noon or keep him forever. The Royal Treasury accepts cash only. Sincerely Yours, Princess Clarissa.
HENRY hangs his head.
Exit GUARD and SERVANT Stage Right
HENRY sighs heavily, slowly gets up, and dejectedly Exits Left.
End Scene
Scene 4: Palace Interior
Enter QUEEN, KING, CLARISSA, GUARDS and SERVANTS stage Right. GUARDS stand at attention across the back of the stage, SERVANTS stand in groups, waiting for instructions.
QUEEN: This had better work, Clarissa.
CLARISSA: (waves this off) Of course it will, Mother.
Sound of Clock Striking 12
Enter TORNADO GANG, looking very disheveled and carrying, pulling, or dragging PRINCE MAL (whatever our actors are comfortable with), Stage Left.
MAL: (screaming, throwing tantrum) I don’t wanna go back! I wanna stay with you guys!
HENRY: (encouragingly to the others) That’s it, boys, steady. Keep ahold of him. Almost there.
TORNADO GANG and MAL make it to Center Stage
HENRY: (sigh of relief) Ah. Here we are, then. Here’s your little prince back (gestures for the others to let MAL go, they do.) Bill, pay their Majesties.
BILL: (fumbling with purse) Ah, yes, here is the 500 gold pieces…
CLARISSA: (takes purse and looks inside) Seems in order.
SAM: (nods enthusiastically) It is! It is! Take him!
MAL: (throws himself at HENRY in a hug) Don’t make me go, Boss! I don’t wanna!
HENRY: (sighs, starts trying to push MAL off) Come on, kid. Don’t you know you’re gonna be our royal spy?
MAL: (backs off) Spy?
HENRY: Yeah! Didn’t you help us get that gold? (MAL nods) Why, didn’t we teach you our secret handshake?
TORNADOES and MAL do the secret handshake. Fist bump right, fist bump left, spin in a tight circle, drop down to one knee with jazz hands.
HENRY: (puts hand on MAL’s shoulder as they get up) That makes you a member of the gang.
MAL: It does?
HENRY: Sure! Now, you be a good spy and stay here in the palace from now on, right?
MAL: (salutes) Yes, Boss!
OTHER TORNADOES sigh in huge relief
HENRY: (after looking around at the royal family and guards) All right, Tornadoes! Time to go!
Exit TORNADOES Stage Left
MAL: (Hands on hips, triumphant) Hear that, Clarissa? I’m a Spy! You better watch out!
CLARISSA: (eyebrow raised) Right. (pause) By the way, Mal, while you were gone, we got a new Palace Pet. He’s got something to say to you…
MAL: Oh yeah?
Enter HONK, Stage Right
HONK: (Angrily) HONK! HONK!
MAL: (Terrified) AHHH! A Swan!
HONK: (Still angrily, chasing MAL off Stage Left) HONK! HONK! HONK!
Exit HONK & MAL, running Stage Left
CLARISSA: (Hands off purse to Servant) Now that’s a beautiful Swan.
Exit ALL, half on Stage Right, half on Stage Left
NARRATOR: And so the notorious Prince Mal was returned to his family without a scratch, the Tornado Gang continued their thieving elsewhere, and the whole Kingdom thanked Princess Clarissa for the two-day vacation from her brother’s antics. And they all lived happily ever after…
HONK, still honking, chases MAL across the stage one more time as MAL screams
NARRATOR: Especially Honk. Who, it turns out, didn’t have to learn to quack after all. The End.