he Independent Student Newspaper

Issue 807 Friday 26th February 2016

Published in Cambridge since 1947 www.varsity.co.uk

5 News: PalSoc demonstration 6-7 News: CUSU elections 18 Culture: Watersprite 27 heatre: Tristram Shandy 2 Presidential SIMON LOCK candidate under ire ● Former Trinity College Students’ Union committee unhappy with the leadership of ex-President and current CUSU candidate ● Documents revealed in which all 15 members of the committee set out their grievances with this plan and the 15 individual Ultimately, however, it was concluded statements were not compiled into that “this chat room” is “redundant” Varsity News Team an oicial letter. Screenshots seen and “any further discussion can be exclusively by Varsity reveal that the made in the committee group so that committee decided to abandon the we can also include Cornelius.” A number of allegations have emerged letter in a group thread on Facebook. he contents of this unsent calling into question Cornelius Ro- One member commented, “I really document has now been revealed emer’s leadership of the Trinity Col- don’t think we should go ahead with to Varsity through an anonymous lege Students’ Union (TCSU). Roemer this. Not because he’s necessarily source. Speaking on their motivations, was the TCSU President between doing a better job than before (which I the source told Varsity: “he position 2015 and 2016, ending his term on 29 don’t think he is), but because I dislike of CUSU President is an important January, and is currently running for the alternative to him being pres.” he one: a role in its very nature puts the position of Cambridge University writer continued: “I fully supported the oice holder as the face of the Students’ Union President. going ahead with concerted organised University itself, and its student body. Documents seen by Varsity reveal action asking him to step down, but I am uncomfortable with the notion a lack of conidence in Roemer’s in my opinion this window has long of ‘leaking’ information and I am REVEALED: presidency among members of his closed. Now all we would achieve is very sorry it has come to this, but I committee. It has emerged that in severely damaging our reputation and think it is important that people are Michaelmas Term the committee capacity as committee […]”. Another aware of what Cornelius was like as considered writing a letter questioning contributor wrote that “I believe TCSU President. Many people have his continuing suitability for the Cornelius is doing better judging from legitimate criticisms of the way they St Edmund’s role of President. At the point of the last committee meeting. Our role were treated by him during his time on composition, a document consisting now is to keep advising him in order to the committee, and in some cases he of 15 individual statements from each keep it that way.” made the roles which we took - not for of the committee’s elected oicials Others on the committee expressed pay, or personal gain - not only diicult accused Roemer of an abrasive reservations: “I ind it slightly but also caused unhappiness. I do not dodgy donor leadership style, alienating a number concerning that the people who were think it was right to allow him to run of oicers and isolating the TCSU afected the most haven’t said for it for CUSU President citing his time at from senior college oicials. to stop… It’s easy for people to forget the TCSU without people knowing SEE PAGE 4 However, the committee later when people feel attacked when time what happened on his committee.” decided against moving forward passes if their [sic] not directly afected.” Continued on page 3

INSIDE: EU REFERENDUM CAMPAIGNS BEGIN, REGENI CASE DEVELOPMENTS, STUDENT ACQUITTED 2 Editorial Friday 26th February 2016

And what do you mean by that?

As is wholly conventional at this time his is not to suggest that successive which will not be shared by those among their actual content. Everyone would of year in Cambridge, the starting pistol CUSU Presidents have failed to deliver us who get ired up by, or even involved like to see better student representation was ired yesterday on one of the short- material change – indeed, CUSU’s con- in, the various competing campaigns. If – the goal is wholly uncontroversial – est (and probably dullest) races around. stitution has been amended with sur- only the rest of us could break through but the problem is exactly that: everyone prising frequency in recent years in or- our general indiference towards student wants to see better student representa- For those of us who are now seeing the der to accommodate various changes. politics without the assistance of edible tion. When seeking election, populism CUSU Presidential election for the nth Instead, this is perhaps indicative of a stimuli... of this sort is, to a certain extent, inevi- time, the excitement really does begin to certain lack of imagination among the table: what is an election but a form of wear thin. Somehow it lacks the thrill of candidates, and among the student body What does all of this mean for the cur- popularity contest? going to the polling station for the irst as a whole. Can we ind nothing else to rent elections? To use what surely now time to vote in a general election, and moan about? Is there really nothing else constitutes a Cambridge cliché when it his does not, however, excuse mindless this year’s candidates don’t even seem to about the nature of our representation at comes to talking about CUSU, we are drivel. As the Labour Party found out at be ofering jam sandwiches to win our a university level which we would rather apathetic. Just as the word ‘apathy’ is the last general election, high talk with attention and/or votes. Boo, hiss. seek to change? horrendously overused at this particular little concrete planning behind it will not juncture in the Cambridge year, so too win over the average pragmatic voter. If Gimmicks aside, very little changes from Clearly not, it would seem; the idea that are the words which we’ve already picked candidates are going to use these words year to year when it comes to the cam- the candidates with the most fundamen- up on – ‘engagement’, ‘representation’, to describe their goals, they have to mean paigns run by the prospective CUSU tally radical policy ideas (or at least as and ‘transparency’ – words which will, them, understand them (and their impli- Presidents. Each will (though presum- radical as CUSU ever gets) tend to fall by in all likelihood, feature in some capacity cations), and give a sense of how they ably not in the same words as their ri- the wayside does not strike us as being in the manifesto of the eventual victor. could be achieved. Until a candidate can vals) call for ‘more engagement’, ‘more particularly surprising. show us that such meaning resides in representation,’ ‘more transparency’, and Our apathy is, it seems, as much a re- their words, forgive me if I don’t endorse

EDITORIAL maybe even ‘more power.’ his is, of course, a rather cynical view to action to the emptily platitudinous way one of them – as if you care what I think take of the whole process, and it is one in which such words are used, as it is to anyway!

E James Sutton @.. M E Callum Hale-homson @.. B M Mark Curtis @.. A E Tom Freeman @ .. N E Jack Higgins & Joe Robinson (Senior), Anna Menin & Harry Curtis (Deputies) @.. S N C Sarah Collins, Daniel Gayne, Elizabeth Howcroft, Esha Marwaha, Kaya Wong & Siyang Wei C E Ethan Axelrod @.. I E Louis Ashworth (Senior) & Steven Daly (Deputy) @.. C E James Dilley (Senior), Charlotte Taylor, Anna Jennings & Maya De Silva Wijeyeratne (Deputies) @.. S E Nicole Rossides @..  E Imogen Shaw & Meg Honigmann @.. C E Will Roberts & Katie Wetherall @.. T E Eleanor Costello @.. F E Laura Day & Vicki Bowden @.. R E Charlotte Giford @.. M E Michael Davin @.. S E Ravi Willder & Felix Schlichter @.. I E Alice Chilcott & heo Demolder @.. O E Charlie horpe & Ellie Matthews C S-E Imran Marashli P E Simon Lock @.. I Ben Waters, Emma Wood, Luke Johnson, Ben Brown V B Dr Michael Franklin (Chairman), Prof. Peter Robinson, Dr Tim Harris, Michael Derringer, Michael Curtis, Talia Zybutz (VarSoc President), Tom Freeman, James Sutton, Eleanor Deeley, Callum Hale-homson, Rebekah-Miron Clayton (he Mays) ©VARSITY PUBLICATIONS LTD, 2016. All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system or transmitted in any form or by any means electronic, mechanical photocopying, recording or otherwise without prior permission of the publisher. Varsity, 16 Mill Lane, Cambridge CB2 1RX. Telephone 01223 337575. Varsity is published by Varsity Publications Ltd. Varsity Publications also publishes the Mays. Printed at Iliffe Print Cambridge — Winship Road, Milton, Cambridge CB24 6PP on 42.5gsm newsprint. Registered as a newspaper at the Post Office. ISSN 1758-4442 Interested in Can you do be er? postgraduate Edit Varsity in Easter 2016 No experience is needed to get involved next term, and there’s never journalism been a better time to join Varsity. For more information and to apply (by March 3), training? email the editor, James, at [email protected] Application forms are available for download from varsity.co.uk/get-involved A major scholarship and/or bursary may be awarded to students graduating from the The deadline for editorial applications is University of Cambridge or ARU who are 5pm on Thursday March 3 2016 about to undertake an approved course in Section editor applications will open shortly journalism in the coming academic year. All students are encouraged to apply. Past benefi ciaries of the awards have No experience at Varsity is necessary. gone on to successful careers at a variety of media organisations. If you have any questions, please For further details on the Trust and to check email James, at [email protected] eligibility, visit www.varsity.co.uk/trust where you can download an Positions on the team include: News Editor, Production Editor, information pack. Comment Editor, Features Editor, Culture Editor, Reviews Editor, Deadline for applications: Sport Editor, Fashion Editor, Science Editor, Theatre Editor, 5pm, Monday April 25 2016 Music Editor, and more. See website for full list

The Varsity Trust offers funding to students planning to undertake journalism courses in 2016-2017. Registered Charity No. 1012847 Friday 26th February 2016 News 3 Former committee show lack of faith in TCSU President

Continued from front page. damaging the TCSU’s relationship elections.  e fi rst complained that correspondence”.  is is corroborated not in the end receive a letter. A number of contributors did, with senior college offi cials. you “threaten[ed] to hold a by-election by one offi cer’s complaint that “I felt When approached by Varsity however, preface their remarks by One offi cer described an instance for my position – which you do not uncomfortable having been asked to about why a formal letter was not recognising Roemer’s commitment to where they sent “a long facebook [sic] even have the right to do”.  e second treat caterers with an ‘iron fi st’.” compiled, the former Access Offi cer the student body. One member wrote: message, which I’d put a lot of thought alleges that they were threatened with Varsity reported last term that gave the following statement: “In my “I appreciate your enthusiasm for and into, expressing just how misguided I a by-election when unable to attend the TCSU faced controversy when opinion, no further action was taken commitment to the TCSU.” Another thought your stance was [in handling a TCSU meeting due to a scheduled disagreement broke out in college because it was generally agreed that student commented: “I have a lot of a particular TCSU issue]. Rather than lecture.  ey summarised the over a scheduled women’s breakfast it would cause a lot of disruption to respect for the eff ort you’ve put in, and engaging with my arguments, you sent response they received from Roemer celebrating 40 years since women the function of the TCSU. As Access I feel like you have achieved a lot during me a one line response, subsequently as: “I’m sorry but that’s not a valid were fi rst admitted to the college. Offi cer, I didn’t want committee your presidency”. In all, only four of telling me that I shouldn’t contact excuse. If you don’t go we can just At the time, the Women’s Offi cer infi ghting to prevent me, or any the 15 statements did not include you on facebook [sic]”.  ey cited as well do by-elections. If you’re not told Varsity that “I am confused and other offi cer from doing the job we some explicit reference to positive this experience as “representative of a committed, I’m sure others are.  ere saddened at the aggressive responses had been elected to do.  e TCSU is aspects of Roemer’s presidency. One general inability to respect committee are plenty of people who would want [from within the college].” there to serve the students of Trinity, member even indicated that while members and their opinions.” to do your job.” Varsity can confi rm, however, that and I felt that moving forward with they were “worried” by “the amount It was additionally suggested that Beyond the atmosphere within the the documents questioning Roemer’s the letter would have only caused of personal animus against you”, “it is “committee meetings have been committee, a number of offi cers also presidency had been composed prior more divisions, tension and made us not something I feel myself.” ineffi cient as the President has not cited Roemer’s fraught relationship to this event. Speaking to Varsity, the less able to fulfi l our responsibilities. However, the majority of the state- engaged or listened to the discussion at with college offi cials as a motivation then Women’s Offi cer has said that However, as the letter shows, there ments do indicate that it was an hand”. One example of this described for considering a formal letter.  e while “[t]hese events happened after were signifi cant problems with increasingly negative atmosphere by two of the committee members former TCSU Secretary writes: “One the letter was written… [his handling Cornelius’s management of the within the TCSU which prompted the occurred during a discussion of the of the major issues I have experienced of the events] furthered my lack of committee, which led to an extremely committee to act. One offi cer wrote consent workshops that were planned is the confrontational way in which confi dence in Cornelius.” unpleasant working environment for that “overbearing” leadership had to take place during Trinity’s Freshers’ you approach the Liaison Committee She continued: “I fi nd it several offi cers. I think our specifi c created “an environment [which] is Week. “I was particularly frustrated meetings, which I believe is seriously uncomfortable that Cornelius may be complaints about him as President untenable, and… something needs to by your insistence on connecting the damaging the relationship between in a position of representing an entire of our JCR are relevant to the CUSU be done to address these issues”, while consent workshops with the legal TCSU and senior College staff ”.  e university when I was completely elections, particularly if he intends to another member said the “[u]nder- aspects of sexual assault. Given that Liaison Committee is a bi-termly misrepresented by him to the college cite his time as President of TCSU as mining of offi cers during and outside the whole committee… disagreed with meeting between the President, and to the press after a celebration of experience in his campaign.” of meetings has created a hostile work you on what was essentially a moral Vice-President and Secretary of the 40 years of women being admitted Roemer declined Varsity’s request environment.” Others claimed they question, I thought it slightly appalling TCSU and senior members of Trinity into college, an event organised by the for comment. His campaign for the had not directly experienced nega- that you refused to acknowledge the College. heads of college, which Cornelius was position of CUSU President began tive behaviour from Roemer, but were fallibility of your own judgement”,  is is a concern apparently not involved in (because of my more yesterday morning when the offi cial “very concerned by some of the things wrote one offi cer. Another agreed, shared by the majority of committee relevant role and better rapport with CUSU campaigning period opened that have been told to us” as “[g]ood- describing how they took off ence members. One writes that “Being the organisers).” at 8am. will is very important to the smooth to “your suggestion of changing the rude and pushy to senior members of  e statements seen by Varsity Manifestos for all candidates, as functioning of a committee.” sexual consent workshops to ‘How to the college is absolutely unacceptable”. therefore reveal discontent in the well as further information about Examples of the behaviour in avoid jail’.” It was also observed that “Other TCSU committee prior to the elections and voting, have now been question cited in the statements Furthermore, the statements suggest members of college staff , such as the disagreement arising from the released. include not listening to committee that at two separate points Roemer catering department, have expressed planned women’s breakfast. It was Details can be found online through members’ opinions, threatening raised the possibility of removing that they no longer wish to help compiled by all members of the the elections section of CUSU’s two offi cers with by-elections and committee members through by- the TCSU due to receiving rude committee except Roemer, who did website. 4 News Friday 26th February 2016 Revealed: St Edmund’s dodgy donor Documents seen by Varsity track a series of allegations against donor who funded College Tower Lou s Ashworth in Denver fi led a lawsuit accusing Gakuen Educational Association Okinaga and the school administra- (Teikyo-Gakuen), which manages all Sen or Invest gat ons Ed tor tors of conspiring to “protect their the Teikyo educational instiutions, in- SIMON LOCK own cash fl ow” by stopping students cluding Teikyo University. St Edmund’s College Tower was fund- from being expelled.  e lawsuit also Okinaga died in 2008, but his sons ed by a donation from an organisation claimed that administrators had at- are both still closely linked to Teikyo. which was subsequently involved in tempted to “cover up” the participa- Yoshihito Okinaga is Chairman and multiple high-profi le scandals, and tion of students in the attempted rape President of Teikyo University and from which the college is considering of a foreign exchange student from Trustee and Director of the Teikyo soliciting a new donation, Varsity can Russia.  e documents also record Foundation UK. Yoshihito’s brother reveal. that the lawsuit alleged that a “Teikyo Shohachi Okinaga is Chairman of Internal documents seen exclusively registrar” had accepted a car from a Teikyo-Gakuen. by Varsity show that the University of student in exchange for altering the In 2010, Yoshihito Okinaga was or- Cambridge conducted a review into student’s grades.  e case was settled dered to pay back £3 million in back the operations and history of Teikyo out of court. taxes after he failed to declare £11.5 University and the Okinaga family million inherited from his father, who run it, and their involvement in which had been held in Liechtenstein. a series of scandals in Japan and else- After the presentation of the due where from 1994 to 2010, involving diligence report to the ACBELA and political corruption, cash for univer- a discussion about it, the committee sity places, tax evasion, recruitment agreed that it saw no reason why St bribery, bugging and an alleged at- IF WE DECIDE TO DISTANCE Edmund’s should not “commence cul- tempted cover-up of rape. OURSELVES FROM DONATIONS tivation” of Teikyo University and the  e college received a donation of Okinaga family, but said that the mat- £1.5 million in April 1991 from the BECAUSE OF FAMILY HISTORY, ter “should be reviewed again once late Dr Shoichi Okinaga, a sum de- more was known.” scribed on St Edmund’s website as a WE MIGHT AS WELL CLOSE At a meeting of the St Edmund’s “magnifi cent benefaction.”  e money THE COLLEGE Development and Alumni Relations was used to build its College Tower, Committee (DARC) in November, which was opened in 1993. held in the College Tower’s Okinaga Okinaga was at the time President Room, it was noted that the Teikyo and Chief Executive of Teikyo Other legal cases noted within University Group had reportedly “sig- St Edmund’s College Tower, which was funded by Okinaga University, a private university based the due diligence review include a nalled that they want a stronger rela- in the Itabashi ward of Tokyo, Japan. lawsuit fi led by former students of tionship with the college and asked for have been infl uenced by a past dona- said that the college had once paid for Teikyo University has several educa- Marycrest International University in details on the development plans.” tion was “wholly wrong.” a student to take an extra-curricular tional projects overseas, including ones Iowa against Okinaga which alleged Disputes were raised at the meeting, In the ACBELA minutes received language course. It was suggested in Durham and Buckinghamshire. “civil conspiracy, negligent misrep- in which St Edmund’s Combination by the DARC, St Edmund’s fellow Dr that St Edmund’s could swap fel-  e documents seen by Varsity state resentation, deceptive trade prices, Room President Brendan Mahon Eden Yin is reported as saying: “I think lows, Senior Members and Research that that St Edmund’s “would like to and breach of contract.”  e students noted concern “about how the acts if Harvard, Oxford and Durham think Fellows with Teikyo University “rather step up its cultivation of the Okinaga claimed that Teikyo or its affi liates of bribery and corruption would look it is good enough, we should not walk than students.” family and Teikyo University” and to had collected “more than $125 million outwardly.” away from this opportunity.” College Dean Alban McCoy said “potentially seek a future donation.” in donations, suspected by some of  e college’s master said that the  e unconfi rmed minutes for a that he initially “felt some reserva- St Edmund’s Master, the Hon. amounting to bribes, from the parents allegations against Teikyo University DARC meeting in January show that tions”, but now “felt comfortable that Matthew Bullock, is expected to make of students.” Group were now “historic.” Bullock noted that the intention the money had been redeemed by a trip to Asia this April, visiting Japan, Dr Helen Mason, a St Edmund’s fel- was to provide the university and St the new generation of the Okinaga Hong Kong and Singapore. While in low, noted that “academic standing Edmund’s with “connections to Teikyo family.” Tokyo, he will make a speech at Teikyo and our own reputation is the most University, to further cement our He said that “if we decide to distance University to commemorate its 50th important thing,” and expressed con- bond.” ourselves from donations because of anniversary, which will be followed by cern “over the implications of accept- family history, we might as well close another speech at a public health fo- ing money from the Okinaga family a the college.” rum hosted by Teikyo. second time.” Anthony noted that “tax evasion In November 2015, Cambridge’s It was mentioned that both Durham is more frequently reported in Asia”, Advisory Committee on Benefactions and Oxford have also received dona- a remark which was supported by and External and Legal Aff airs tions from the Okinaga family. In 1991, COMFORTABLE THAT THE Edward Hagger, Chair of St Edmund’s (ACBELA), chaired by Vice- Shoichi Okinaga donated £4.5 million Alumni Society. Chancellor Leszek Borysiewicz, re- to Wadham College, Oxford, to sup- MONEY HAD BEEN REDEEMED  e leaked minutes state that “the ceived a due diligence review from port its Bowra Building. Wadham also BY THE NEW GENERATION committee discussed that the Okinaga Richard Anthony, St Edmund’s Bursar, has its own Okinaga Room in his hon- family money could be ‘redeemed’ by reporting on multiple “issues of con- our. Okinaga also gave £7 million to helping the college fulfi ll its develop- cern” regarding the Okinaga family. a Durham-based overseas campus of ment plan.”  e review notes several scandals Teikyo University. St Edmund’s Bursar, Richard St Edmund’s ongoing development involving the Teikyo University group. Teikyo University has links with Anthony, noted that the ACBELA plan, the fi rst phase of which was re- It reports that, in 2002, the Japanese Harvard University, where the Teikyo- “were not concerned by the history ported in the due diligence report education ministry carried out an in- Harvard Program exists as a collabo- of the Okinaga family”, and that there to cost £16 million, aims to expand spection into the university’s medical ration between the Harvard School was “nothing in recent family history the college to be able to support its school, which discovered that the uni- of Public Health (HSPH) and the that gave the committee concern”. student body, which has undergone versity had received 9.65 billion yen Department of Public Health at the  is was challenged by Mahon, who “rapid growth” since 1990 – some- (£50.2 million) in donations from stu- Teikyo University School of Medicine. raised concerns about the prospect of thing which the report said had placed dents “who eventually enrolled”. £12.8 In an interview with e Times “accepting money from the Okinaga “considerable strain” on St Edmund’s million of that fi gure came in the form following his donation to Wadham, family”, particularly with regards to physical infrastructure. of donations made before students referenced in the documents seen by “the reports of bribery in the admis- Minutes from a meeting of St were formally admitted.  e practice Varsity, Okinaga said: “My position al- sions process”. Edmund’s college council on 25th of making pre-admissions donations lows me to participate in the manage- Mason noted that the college was in January this year noted that the is banned by the education ministry. ment of Oxford University…I also have “possible negotiations with a diff erent ACBELA “had considered the status In 2002, Japanese Vice-Minister of The eponymous room the right to send two Japanese under- generation” to the one implicated in of a potential donor and found it to Health, Kazuaki Miyaji, resigned over graduates a year to Oxford University”. the scandal. be satisfactory”, and that Combination allegations that he had used his infl u- Other members of Okinaga’s family Anne Lonsdale, then Director of Bullock said that a donation, if dis- Room representatives “continued to ence with Teikyo University Medical are also thought to have engaged in il- Oxford’s External Relations Offi ce, de- cussed, would not aff ect St Edmund’s have reservations about historic al- School on behalf of a constituent.  e legal and ethically dubious behaviour. scribed Okinaga’s claims as “emphati- admissions processes. He said that it legations of fi nancial irregularities constituent, who was believed to be In 2003, Shoichi Okinaga’s brother cally not true.” was “not an exchange of gifts”, and that relating to a deceased member of the a relative of a backer of Miyaji, had a Yoshikazu Okinaga was given an A Cambridge university spokesman “no pupils would be admitted into the potential donor’s family”. It was pro- grandson who was about to take the 18-month prison sentence for a scan- said on behalf of St Edmund’s College: college based on any donations”. posed by a council member that the entrance exam for the medical school. dal involving university admissions, “ e College has not yet approached It was noted by Mason that “histori- college’s ethics committee “might in Associates of Okinaga were under- and also fi ned £180,338 by the Tokyo either the Teikyo University or the cally we had proposed admitting three due course be consulted.” stood to have instructed Miyaji to give Tax Bureau. Okinaga’s sister, Kimie Okinagas for new philanthropic sup- PhD students a year” from Teikyo St Edmund’s DARC are scheduled them the prospective students’ exam Okinaga, was fi ned £515,251 in 2001 port. Both are fully verifi ed and ap- University, but that St Edmund’s had to meet again today. number. Miyaji resigned over the for concealing income which was al- proved by the University of Cambridge “struggled to fi nd three who could Sources within St Edmund’s have allegations. leged to have come from parents of stu- Advisory Committee on Benefactions meet the entry criteria”. It was noted indicated to Varsity that there will  e due diligence review found dents. At the time of the respective in- and External Legal Aff airs”. that previous Teikyo students who not be any discussion of Okinaga or that, in 1994, a professor at the affi liat- cidents, Yoshikazu and Kimie Okinaga  ey said that any insinuation that had been admitted had a “very poor” Teikyo University at the upcoming ed Teikyo Loretto Heights University were high-ranking members of Teikyo St Edmund’s admissions process could grasp of the English language. Mason college meeting. Friday 26th February 2016 News 5 PalSoc simulates Israeli checkpoint like outside of Cambridge.” Anna Men n “To me, Palestine is the South Africa of our generation; it’s the thing that Deputy News Ed tor we’ll be able to rally around, and ask TOM FREEMAN for justice,” she continued. Cambridge University Palestine Soci- Varsity also spoke to Julia, another ety (PalSoc) held a demonstration on PalSoc member, who alleged: “people Monday at the Sidgwick Site to mark who are active against the govern- the start of Israeli Apartheid Week. ment in peaceful protest get put into e demonstration involved administrative detention quite fre- “recreat[ing] an Israeli military check- quently, and that’s detention without point with the aim of raising aware- any kind of trial or charge laid against ness of the current situation faced them, so they often don’t even know by the Palestinian people and Israel’s why they’ve been arrested in the fi rst continued discriminatory and apart- place.” heid policies.” Julia also stated that she hoped that Speaking to Varsity, Anna, President the protest would “help people to un- of PalSoc said: “It’s easy to forget that derstand the emotional dimension of these kinds of issues are happening what it means to live in this kind of on a daily basis,” and that the inten- situation.” tion behind the simulated checkpoint In a statement released alongside was to “shake people…out of their the protest, PalSoc claimed: “ e word lethargy.” apartheid best describes the situation on the ground when referring to the systematic discrimination against the Palestinian people and Israel’s ongoing eff orts to privilege one ethno-religious The simulated Israeli checkpoint at the Sidgwick Site on Monday group over another.” PALSOC STANDS IN It also stated: “PalSoc stands in soli- darity with the Palestinian people and Last week, PalSoc boycotted Middle overshadow Israeli Apartheid Week. not to partake in the cross-society ini- SOLIDARITY WITH THE their struggle, and in doing so, we an- East Peace Week, which was organ- Assumed to be in response to tiative, Middle East Peace Week, but PALESTINIAN PEOPLE swer the call of Palestinian civil society ised by the Israel Society, the Persian PalSoc’s protest, the Israel Society instead opted for inaccurate amateur to engage in a non-violent campaign Society, the Kurdish Society, Calais claimed in a Facebook post sharing dramatics.” of Boycott, Divestment and Sanctions Refugee Action Group, and One the last Middle East Peace Week event He added: “sadly, this is indicative of until Israel complies with its obliga- Voice, with the intention of creating that it was “opting for meaningful dis- their longer-term approach of refusal Anna, who does not publicise her tions under international law.” a dialogue between societies that “all cussion and conducive dialogue rather to engage in dialogue and for the sake surname to preserve her anonym- According to its website, Israeli strive for one goal – a better Middle than inaccurate amateur dramatics, as of performing inappropriate public ity for potential visa reasons, added: Apartheid Week “aims to raise aware- East.” others have sadly opted for today”. displays, as seen last term in their de- “I think that Cambridge is not a very ness about Israel’s ongoing settler- However, PalSoc questioned the Speaking to Varsity, Joel Collick, cision to protest against Yiftah Curiel’s politically-minded place,” as “people colonial project and apartheid policies timing of Middle East Peace Week, Co-President of the Israel Society, attendance at the Cambridge Union.” might lose track of what the world is over the Palestinian people.” alleging that it was intended to stated: “It’s a shame that PalSoc chose Additional reporting by Clara van Wel. Cambridge undergrad acquitted of rape

day after the jury took more than nine another student in her room. sex with her without her consent. he can now get back on track.” Joe Rob nson hours to reach a verdict. e prosecution had claimed that Providing evidence via video-link, A statement released by the family Sen or News Ed tor 21-year-old Prithvi Sridhar, who Sridhar met the complainant on a the complainant recounted that she stated: “Prithvi Sridhar and his family studied engineering for two years at night out in 2014 and that, after ac- remembered “being in a group” and are grateful today for the jury’s ver- A Cambridge undergraduate was ac- Queens’ College before intermitting companying her back home in a taxi, that “a lot of people were dancing dict clearing his name of these false quitted of a rape charge on Wednes- last year, had been accused of raping he had taken off her clothes and had together”. She added: “When we got allegations.” back I said goodbye. But he said no, It added: “Prithvi would like to thank I’m coming with you.” the jury for their careful consideration e complainant alleged that, once of the evidence and fair deliberation upstairs, Sridhar began kissing her, in this trial; his family and friends leaving a number of love bites on her who have supported him throughout neck, and proceeded to rape her. these diffi cult times; Queens’ College Earlier in the week, a number of in- who have supported him throughout dividuals connected to Sridhar testi- the proceedings and his defence team fi ed to his good character. from MPR Solicitors and Joe Stone His godfather, 48-year-old Sian Q C .” Gopinath, said: “Nothing has ever e family told Cambridge News caused me concern in regards to his that Sridhar was looking forward to interaction with women. He went to returning to Queens’ College and the same school as my daughter.” completing his degree. The green man Following Sridhar’s acquittal, the Senior Tutor of Queens’ College sent trumpington an email to college members, inform- ing them that: “Mr Prithvi Sridhar has been found not guilty by the court CB2 9HZ HE CAN NOW GET BACK ON following his trial for a serious sexual off ence. TRACK “He is not resident in College and Men� Laun he will not [be] studying at Cambridge New c� this academical year. For legal reasons, ST TH One of his friends described how it is not appropriate for the College to 1-4 MARCH she had been sexually assaulted in comment on the trial. Quality 2014, an event to which Sridhar was “ e College takes the welfare of 12-10PM the only witness, and which report- its students very seriously and we en- edly left him “completely shocked”. courage you to contact the Student She added: “He knew it was wrong Support Team or your Graduate Tutor and understood how I felt. is if you have any concerns about this, or BRING THIS ADVERT WITH YOU AND GET £10 OFF YOUR BILL* made me think he had a good moral any related matters. compass.” “Please be aware that comment BOOK A TABLE FOR 6 AND GET A FREE BOTTLE OF PROSECCO! Speaking after the acquittal was about Mr Sridhar...may risk defama- handed down, Sridhar’s father said: tion. Please also note that persons BOOK NOW - 01223 844903 “We are all extremely relieved and we who are alleged to be victims of sexual *£10 OFF WHEN YOU SPEND £40, ONE OFFER PER TABLE are very happy. His life could have been off ences are legally entitled to lifelong ruined by this allegation but we’re glad anonymity.” 6 News Friday 26th February 2016 CUSU Elections: Meet the candidates With elections kicking off this week, Varsity spoke to the fi ve people who think they have what it takes to become CUSU President. Voting will run from 1st–3rd March. Louis Ashworth & Anna Menin report. Robert Corbyn-Smith Robert Corbyn-Smith is a third-year with the autonomous campaigns”. bit broken”. afraid to criticise it.” to do something”. studying history and philosophy of A key part of his eff orts will be “It’s not being relevant to students Varsity asked him about the recent “I’m not afraid to make changes...to science at Homerton. He is one of the looking for “increased funding” to al- and it’s not hearing what they say.” DSO referendum. go out there and put everything into offi cers of the Disabled Students’ Cam- low CUSU to “really get to the heart CUSU Council is an area where it anyway.” paign (DSC), which recently spear- of what students want and Corbyn-Smith wishes to see changes.  e role of the autonomous cam- headed a successful campaign to make what they need from a He said about the current system: paigns is very close to his heart. CUSU create the role of a full-time students’ union”. “we spend a lot of time quibbling “I want to see much greater collabo- Disabled Students’ Offi cer (DSO). He criticised what he over punctuation or debating specifi c ration. Autonomous campaigns don’t “What I really want to see is a perceived as inertia. words, and it’s really unproductive.” He I’M NOT AFRAID TO feel like a part of CUSU in a lot of CUSU that is representative, a CUSU CUSU is “often is on suggested that an online platform for MAKE CHANGES ways, and I feel like it’s time they were that is eff ective,” he said. With the back foot,” Corbyn- constructing policy could be helpful. brought in and that their concerns are him as president, he said, Smith said, adding: “that’s Corbyn-Smith cited his lengthy ex- listened to." the students’ union would understandable because perience with CUSU – which included “I want to see things changed,” he be “one that actually takes it’s seriously under- working as Transport & Safety Offi cer “We smashed it,” he said. said. “Practical things improved, and account of graduate resourced and every- in the now-defunct Welfare Part-Time “My term [in the DSC] is now com- the structures improved.” needs and works with one there is really Executive. ing to an end,” he said, “and my biggest Ultimately, he summed up his drive the Graduate Union, overworked, but “I’ve been involved in CUSU since achievement there was the referen- to re-engage the student population. and that collaborates it’s not function- my fi rst year…I think I know it re- dum…that taught me a lot about how “CUSU is supposed to be a students’ much more closely ROBERT CORBYN-SMITH’S CAMPAIGN ing properly; it’s a ally well, but at the same time I’m not to reach students and not being afraid union for us.” Amatey Doku Amatey Doku is a sociology fi nalist, Asked what the role of of the stu- fact that every college has diff erent Despite the support he showed for “I do think that CUSU being left and was Jesus’s student union Presi- dents’ union would be if more power issues, and that’s also something that some elements of current CUSU prac- to the markets in this kind of way is dent until the end of last term. Last were handed to JCRs, he said: “for me, needs to be taken into account…that tice, he also fl agged up several issues problematic,” he said, “especially if week, he was mentioned in a Varsity I see the role of CUSU on the one hand is fundamentally the vision behind which he perceived. more colleges go: ‘well, are we getting article which was picked up in the as getting on with representatives at this campaign”. “CUSU has a lot of chal- value for money? I don’t think that Guardian, regarding Jesus College the top levels” – getting into commit- Varsity asked him if this process of lenges,” he said. “It is to question should factor at all into stu- Students’ Union’s vote to repatriate tees and facilitating negotiations. devolution would mean he would lead some extent under- dent representation”. Jesus College’s Benin Bronze cockerel “In relation to JCRs, it’s about say- a less political CUSU. funded, and that can His mandate states his inten- to Nigeria. “If it’s in the best interests of stu- get in the way of it tion to create a “Vice-President’s His campaign seeks to bring CUSU dents to speak out,” he said, citing the fulfi lling its duty to Council” of JCR representatives, closer to the students it is designed to scrapping of maintenance grants as an students”. to provide an immediate point represent, while seeking to maintain example, “then we’ll do that, whether Doku advocated the of contact and oversight”. He told the power of JCRs and MCRs, which it’s political or not”. He described sup- current push to see Varsity that such a body would he sees as the “number one port of CUSU HAS A LOT OF porting the continued political work the students’ union be “right at the heart of CUSU call” for students. of the autonomous campaigns as “im- funded by block decision making”. He also “Fundamentally,” he told Varsity, CHALLENGES portant”, and said that they should be grants from col- made a commitment “my vision is for a CUSU that is in “given the freedom to continue doing leges, rather to “meet every JCR touch with students a lot more, but what they’re doing”. than by in- president every that supports JCRs…JCRs are the ing ‘we are completely at your dis- He defended CUSU’s role as a polit- d i v i d u a l term”. most important thing for students posal’; JCRs need to feel like they have ical body, saying any issue with which s t u d e n t if there are issues with the college or complete support from the top.” students have a problem “needs to be contri- with the university.” “I also recognise,” he added, “the tackled”. butions. ANNA MENIN Cornelius Roemer Cornelius Roemer is a fourth-year “In a way there’s no overall representa- standing outside of “one niche”. He ex- of the referendum. When asked about Varsity asked him whether his focus physicist, who last month ended his tive for something like sports – there’s pressed frustration with the limitation this, Roemer was ambivalent. on detail and practical issues would tenure as Trinity College Students’ no one who looks at the overall stu- of his current involvement, however, “I don’t think I was a ‘No’ person,” mean that he would hesitate from par- Union’s (TCSU) President. He is a dent views”. saying that on the PTE he didn’t “have he said. ticipating in CUSU’s traditional politi- prominent voice at CUSU council, and Roemer currently sits on the Union any actual power to make change”. cal eff orts. is involved with several committees. Development Team and Part-time When asked whether his current “People feel like CUSU is represent- He envisions CUSU as a provider of Executive (PTE), both of which positions would limit his willingness ing opinions which are not theirs.  ey services which JCRs and MCRs are part of CUSU, and in also to eff ect change, he said his presidency don’t feel represented,” he said. “Being cannot. a member of the University would be “a little bit like a revolution”. more practically orientated, trying to “CUSU is very well placed Council. He spoke about “I’m very inclined to change things,” A LITTLE BIT LIKE A fi nd solutions to problems, helps, and to be a body which repre- his experience with them. he said, adding that “there is a lot of is what CUSU needs.” sents students on all issues “I can see everything potential for improvement”. REVOLUTION “I see myself as more of an apolitical which aff ect students,” he that’s going on in all kinds “I think CUSU is a big bureaucracy leader.” told Varsity. of university committees, with a limited output, and that defi - He mentioned frustration with what “Look at sport – it’s too which allows me to under- nitely needs to change.” He spoke about his role within the he perceived as slow-footedness on big for colleges, too big for stand how the university Varsity questioned Roemer on his Union Development Team, who are the part of CUSU during the debate facilities and JCRs to look makes decisions,” he involvement with the recent referen- currently working on the constitu- over Cambridge County Council’s at…I think CUSU is said, empha- dum to create a Disabled Students’ tional changes needed to create the proposed street-light switch off which best placed to do the sising that Offi cer (DSO), which resulted in a role of DSO. emerged at the end of last year, when broad representa- this gave landslide vote in favour. Roemer, “I’m trying to make sure the TCSU launched a petition. tion of students”. him a though he did not formally declare for Disabled Students’ Offi cer will be im- “When the streetlights issue came He drove home breadth either side of the campaign, was one plemented…there are surprising con- up, it was clear that there was a broad his emphasis on of un- of the few people to publically speak stitutional problems arising for trying consensus, yet CUSU for some reason sport further: ANNA MENIN dder- e r - out in any way advocating the 'No' side to do this.” seemed to have missed the train.” Friday 26th February 2016 News 7 Angus Satow Angus Satow is a second-year lan- He spoke about a drive towards He was involved in a protest last “continuity” to college unions. change,” he said. He spoke about the guage student, and Vice-President “making the curricula less pale, male year, reported by Varsity, which in- “I defi nitely think CUSU can experience of BME students, and said of Magdalene College’s JCR. He is and stale”, and pushing on issues such volved hanging banners demanding be a lot better in working that Cambridge “is not necessarily a perhaps best known for his involve- as “divestment and higher education” university divestment from Clare with JCRs and MCRs,” he welcoming place after entry”. ment with Cambridge Zero Carbon, nationally. He also mentioned “issues bridge. As a result, he was deaned by said. As part of this, he Satow, who was highly optimis- at which he is the Campaigns Offi cer. such as decolonising and removing Magdalene, and fi ned by Clare. Varsity seeks to develop CUSU’s tic about his election prospects, His campaign focuses upon liberation the dominance of masculinity,” saying asked him whether this incident could online presence. nonetheless acknowledged that an and welfare, but is also unapologeti- that “these are things that only a push cause trouble with the university in “Often people come into overtly political platform might cally political. from CUSU and dedicated, full-time the future. new roles and ask the same not appeal to all voters. “My vision is many-fold,” he told sabbatical offi cers can achieve.” “I’m standing on these policies,” he questions as the person “You have to recognise Varsity, “It’s one which puts student said. “I’m not standing on my name or before,” he said, going that you can’t represent experiences fi rst.” my personality.” on to advocate the everyone all of the He spoke about his drive for popu- “It’s good that people stand up to role CUSU could play time,” he said, adding: lar engagement, saying: “the idea is authority,” he said, “and it’s good that in helping commit- “ ere will be some that we prioritise students well-being we fi ght strongly for the future which tees handover. that disagree, and rather than their work”. IT’S GOOD THAT PEOPLE we want to see”. Among other pol- that’s fair enough – Satow highlighted problems with STAND UP TO AUTHORITY “Standing on a bridge for half an icies, he advocates I can’t be all things the university’s Counselling Service. hour was hardly the most radical thing the provision of to all people” He described waiting times as “atro- that anyone’s ever done.” prayer rooms at “If we all get cious”, and said one person he spoke Satow said he believed the univer- every faculty, and engaged, and to had to wait “over half a term to “A CUSU that engages is defi nitely sity would recognise his mandate. for an expansion people give me get from fi rst contact to an actual my ambition,” he said. “I don’t worry too much about of the universi- a mandate, then appointment”. Previously its Green & Ethical of- whether I’m someone they think they ty’s harassment there’s a lot that “ at is not good enough,” he said. fi cer, Satow’s Vice-Presidential profi le can do business with…they will do policy. can be changed.” Satow’s campaign is policy-focused, on Magdalene JCR’s site states that he business with me.” “A lot of and in many aspects more radical than will be “campaigning on environmen- Beyond his political goals, he sees Cambridge that of the other contenders. tal issues elsewhere”. CUSU as best suited for providing needs to TOM FREEMAN John Sime John Sime is a Maths fi nalist at Em- by nature of their being autonomous, for more “inter-college mingling”, and very against classism, and so I’m very would expect in the model that we manuel. He has never held any posi- they also hold the CUSU name, so that: “I believe there is a role for CUSU for greater access opportunities.” have that you’d have a disproportion- tion on a JCR, although he ran unsuc- when they act irresponsibly, CUSU in that aspect.” “I think CUSU does a fairly good job ate number of people coming from cessfully for the position of Emmanuel gets all the blame for it even though Asked by Varsity about whether with access…I wouldn’t suggest any public schools, but I think we do fairly College Students’ Union President last they had nothing to do with what was CUSU should take a political stance radical change to that”, he continued. well on that.” year. going on”. on issues, John claimed: “ e role Asked then about whether he be- “Generally speaking, I think radical He told Varsity that his campaign He argued that “the only logical of CUSU president isn’t to be a lieved classism is a big problem in change should be reserved for times aims to provide “what I believe the solution” to this is “having the cam- dictator...I’m not going to mandate Cambridge, Sime replied: “Not com- when it’s sorely needed, which is why majority of the students actually want”, paigns either choosing to be autono- that certain things should be done or pared to  e Other Place. My experi- I’m running to address the problem which, he claims, is “putting more val- mous, and having the benefi ts that are not done.” ence is that we have a good proportion that I stated – because it is sorely ue on freedom of speech, particularly associated to that, or hold the CUSU However, he added: “My personal of state school-educated students, needed…with access, a radical change with respect to no-platforming”. name and being affi liated”. stance on that sort of issue is [that] I’m considering it’s Cambridge, right? You could do more harm than good.” “Who wouldn’t want to listen to a However, he denied that he would talk by Germaine Greer, or Tim Hunt, consider disaffi liating autonomous or Nigel Farage, even if it’s just to chal- campaigns if they no-platformed lenge their views?”, he added. He cited the example of what he al- leged was CUSU’s safe space policy TIMELINE: Outlooks being “misused to avoid answering a Gym question” at the second CUSU Council meeting of this term. SOMETHING I AM BRINGING IS Varsity asked whether he thought his lack of experience on any JCR or AN ALTERNATIVE FOR PEOPLE • No joining fee MCR might hurt him in the election. TO CHOOSE FROM 1ST “I think it will be used against me, • Pay as you go option available for sure”, he said. MARCH However, he claimed that “for the FREE past few years we’ve essentially had speakers, stating: “If somebody is suc- • One to one training the same people being president, be- cessfully no-platformed, I would hold ing elected, and really nothing has an alternative venue for these speakers VOTING • FREE Nutritional advice changed”. to do their event, in the original for- “People should perhaps vote for the mat of the original event.” OPENS FREE non-establishment candidate if they He said that his approach is to • Selection of itness classes want to see that change”, he added. “make no-platforming irrelevant” by “Certainly, something I am bringing providing “an alterna- is an alternative to people to choose tive venue” when from, rather than the same old, no-platforming same old. I think diversity of occurs. 3RD choice is a very important He spoke thing.” about how he MARCH Asked by Varsity about wants “CUSU CUSU’s autonomous cam- to become paigns, he claimed that the more engaged recent “drug ring scandal” with the gen- VOTING concerning the WomCam’s eral populous Facebook group “highlighted at Cambridge”. CLOSES a fundamental problem” with “I would make CUSU’s interaction with the a step in that di- campaigns. rection”, he added. He added that “be- “What I’m propos- cause these cam- ing is end-of-term paigns are music concerts.” 4TH free to do He claimed as they that there MARCH w i s h ANNA MENIN was a need RESULTS FOR MORE INFORMATION ON THE ANNOUNCED 01223462226 ELECTION, GO TO: or visit us at www.kelseykerridge.co.uk cusu.co.uk/elections-2016 8 News Friday 26th February 2016 Cambridge VC: Brexit would ‘undermine UK’s position’ campaign, who calculate that students of the university’s research income in Harry Curt s from other EU nations are worth the year prior to the event at Downing Deputy News Ed tor £2.27 billion to the UK economy and College – a sum of £68 million – had

support 19,000 British jobs. come from Horizon 2020. LOUIS ASHWORTH Cambridge’s Vice-Chancellor Profes- e EU’s Erasmus student exchange He has also previously stressed sor Sir Leszek Borysiewicz has signed programme is also invoked by the the collaboration that the EU fa- a letter saying that Brexit will “un- Universities for Europe campaign, cilitates, giving the example of the dermine the UK’s position as a global who claim that “students who did an InnoLife Knowledge and Innovation leader in science and the arts”. Erasmus placement have been shown Community, a €2.1 billion project He was among 103 signatories of a to be 50 per cent less likely to experi- that focuses on the impact of ageing letter published in last week’s Sunday ence long-term unemployment.” populations and which includes 144 Times as Vice-Chancellors of many of companies, research institutions, and the UK’s universities waded into the de- universities including Cambridge. bate over the UK’s future relationship Borysiewicz claims that the scale of with Europe. e letter contends that that project is “exactly what is needed “Brexit will cost universities valuable if we are to overcome society’s grand education alliances”, and echoes many BREXIT WILL COST challenges. Put simply, we cannot of the arguments that Cambridge for access the talent, develop the infra- Europe Students are putting forward. UNIVERSITIES VALUABLE structure or provide the funding at a In it, university leaders say that mem- EDUCATION ALLIANCES national level.” bership of the EU means British uni- Elsewhere on Monday, students Pro-EU students launched their campaign on Monday versities “are better able to collaborate campaigning for the UK to remain with partners across Europe to carry ey also stress the EU’s impor- a member of the European Union every day. About 12 per cent of uni the Remain campaign of presenting an out cutting-edge research, from medi- tance for academic research, calculat- launched Cambridge for Europe research funding comes directly from “overarching false narrative” and said cal and healthcare advances to new ing that 15 per cent of academic staff Students, billed by founding mem- the EU, with additional money be- they “look forward to engaging with materials, products and services.” at British universities are from other ber Davide Martino as “the student ing poured into Jean Monnet Chairs, them in a debate.” ey also argue that EU member- EU nations and “research with inter- movement supporting the local IN Erasmus Exchange Programs and the e campaign say they want ship makes the UK “a more attrac- national collaborators has nearly 50 campaign. I was particularly happy to like.” He also extolled the EU’s free- “to present a diverse but united tive destination for global talent” and per cent more impact than research see such a diverse crowd, in terms of dom of movement provisions, which Eurosceptic voice” and have hosted that a British withdrawal from the EU done at a national level.” Borysiewicz age, geographical provenance within allow Cambridge “to attract the very talks by Kelvin Hopkins and Douglas would “mean cutting [UK universities] has cautioned against leaving the EU and without the UK, gender, ethnic- best brains around” and its role in Carswell, MPs from the Labour Party off from established networks.” e in the past. At an event at Downing ity,” he went on, saying it was “reassur- facilitating “academic cooperation and UKIP respectively. letter allies universities with ministers College in 2015, the Vice-Chancellor ing” that they didn’t just appeal to the across boundaries.” ey went on to lay out their ar- whose portfolios encompass higher summarised his stance on the issue, “older and more predominantly male e launch of the campaign also gument for Brexit, saying: “As the education in the upcoming fi ght for saying “I’d rather we stay in the boat, demographics” that he claims tends to opens up the prospect of an ongo- world’s fi fth largest economy, speak- the UK to remain inside the EU. trying to shape and to lead research be the case for anti-EU campaigns. ing public debate among students on ers of the world’s language, and key Universities minister Jo Johnson policy in Europe, than to stay on the e event in King’s College Bar both sides of the referendum issue, NATO member with extensive diplo- and Business Secretary Sajid Javid will side-lines picking up scraps.” came after David Cameron’s an- Cambridge for Europe Students saying matic links all over the world, home to both be campaigning for the country e EU Commission’s Horizon 2020 nouncement that Britain will vote on they are already organising public de- world-class universities and interna- to retain its membership. programme, which provides funding whether or not it will continue be a bates against the Eurosceptic student tional cities, Britain is easily capable of e plea was also co-signed by for research and innovation, was cited member of the EU in a referendum on movement in Cambridge. In a state- surviving outside of the overbearingly Dame Julia Goodfellow, President as part of a framework that enables in- 23rd June. Expounding on the cam- ment to Varsity, students campaigning bureaucratic, aggressively expansion- of Universities UK, who are leading stitutions to tackle “global problems”. paign’s arguments, Martino said that under the banner of the Cambridge ist and fundamentally undemocratic the pro-EU Universities for Europe According to Borysiewicz, 17 per cent “we, as students, benefi t from the EU Brexit Campaign have already accused European Union.” Highly academic schools don’t guarantee Oxbridge off ers, according to new advice

academically rigorous. “A highly selective school will know choosing colleges to maximise chanc- applying for what and to which col- Kaya Wong “ e schools on the top of the league that it can do little to improve its es of admission. lege, and if there were clashes, they’d Sen or News Correspondent tables have selected their cohort as po- Oxbridge numbers, so it may provide She said: “We encourage girls to talk tell you,” he said. tential Oxbridge candidates all along. less help to its Oxbridge applicants openly with their tutors about their “More like they’d tell the ones who In some schools, the majority apply than the schools eager to improve long list of colleges and to know that if are less likely to get in [to change their e Independent School Entrance to Oxbridge and each applicant will their Oxbridge numbers. Indeed, they were to choose the same college choice of college]!” his friend added, Guide, recently published by the Par- have the marks and the ability to suc- knowing that each Oxbridge college as another person from the school it also an undergraduate reading Natural ent Brief, has advised parents against ceed there. But there are limits to the will likely take only one child from just might have an impact, and the Sciences who had previously studied sending their children to highly aca- numbers that can reasonably be taken the school in a given fi eld, the school more so if the subject was the same, at Brighton College. Regarding the demic schools, as competing against from any single school,” wrote Victoria may be reluctant to support too many but we do not advise hedging bets in school’s preparation for Oxbridge their equally smart classmates could Barker, editor of the Parent Brief. applications.” order to get in in the fi rst place. applications, he said: “If you were an hinder their child’s chances of getting Aside from the practical concerns She added: “When it comes to uni- Oxbridge applicant, you handed in into either Oxford or Cambridge. regarding whether the school from versity admissions, the pupils of the your personal statement earlier. ey Allegedly, due to admissions quotas which you apply will aff ect your chanc- most selective schools are competing would read it, screen the material at diff erent colleges that prevent a col- es of admission to Oxbridge, Barker against each other for entry to the top you’d written, and basically polish it lege from accepting too many students also pointed out that the academic universities – and this can be an un- for you. from the same secondary school, it is pressure at highly selective schools pleasant experience for a child who is IN THE VERY SELECTIVE “If they felt you had a higher chance advised that parents should look into could be detrimental to the mental not as accomplished as their friends.” of getting in, they’d give you more schools that suit their child’s academic health of students, proving counter- Despite the fact that the Head SCHOOLS, EVERYONE IS support in writing it. Mock interviews ability, instead of aiming for the most productive to their learning. of Admissions at the University of SUPER BRIGHT and interview preparation was so in- Oxford had previously stated that tense. For people that have a chance an applicant from a low-performing of getting in, [the school] makes sure school or disadvantaged home would “We have occasionally advised those they get in. At the end of Year 12, the “more likely be shortlisted for an in- who have no preference to put in an ones who were better academically terview”, a spokesperson from the open application but that is very rare.” had to attend some kind of Oxbridge university has denied the existence Speaking to Varsity, an undergradu- class each week. of a quota system. He said: “Colleges ate who studied at Brighton College, “You didn’t have to go, but there was do not operate a quota system by which was ranked as the fi fth-best in- [a class] for every subject. Basically, school. Every application to Oxford dependent school in the UK last year they made you do as much work and is assessed individually on academic for A-Level results, said that the school learn as much as possible.” Advertise with us ability and potential alone.”However, was strategic in sending applicants. Nicholas Oulton, who is the Clarissa Farr, High Mistress of St “ e number of Oxbridge off ers is Managing Director at Gresham Books, To advertise in any of our print publications or on our website, Paul’s Girls’ School, said: “Schools will such an important number for them. of which the Parent Brief is a subsidi- please contact our Business Manager advise their students individually and ey try to maintain the image of ary, said: “In the very selective schools, spread candidates across the colleges being the school for Oxbridge appli- everyone is super bright, they can’t Telephone: 01223 337575 – this needn’t disadvantage anyone as cants. ey didn’t force you to apply, all get into Oxford and Cambridge Email: [email protected] there is a range of possibilities.” of course, but they’d say, you have fi ve and therefore there is a feeling that Alice Phillips, Headmistress of St UCAS choices, put an Oxbridge col- if you’re at that school, there must be Website: www.varsitypublications.co.uk Catherine’s, Bramley, also said that the lege in there somewhere! some degree to which the school has school assists Oxbridge applicants in “ ey would mark down who’s to prioritise top star pupils.” Friday 26th February 2016 News 9 Experts puzzled over motives Safe spaces and no-platforming products of for Giulio Regeni murder ‘snowfl ake generation’ says Whitehall adviser Calculli, a Fulbright scholar at the “[With] generation snowfl ake, hypersensitivity of those who want to Dan el Gayne George Washington University who S yang We sometimes, there is an element of truth be sheltered from reality. Sen or News Correspondent has worked in the region, is that it was Sen or News Correspondent that children are a little bit inoculated “No-platforming is, actually, an simply an irredeemable mistake. perhaps against the harsher realities of incredibly visceral engagement with “ e case of Giulio is strange be- the world. And then when they go to reality. Experts remain perplexed as to the cause he was [apparently] in deten- Tom Bennett, a school behaviour ex- university they might then encounter “We live in a society where we are motives behind the death of Cam- tion for days,” Calculli said. “It could pert hired by the Department of Edu- a truth that may overwhelm them. expected to listen to everything as bridge PhD student Giulio Regeni, as be that somehow he was taken and cation to improve behavioural stand- “No wonder why they are seeking if hearing such things, or arguing the Egyptian investigation refuses to detained and tortured in this kind of ards in UK schools, has criticised safe spaces, because they can’t handle them, will somehow prove to us what look into accusations of security serv- anti-foreigner, anti-researcher hyste- “classroom intolerance” which he be- that truth.” we knew all along: that discrimina- ice complicity. ria and perhaps they crossed a line and lieves has led to the rise of a “snow- tion, hate and oppression run vividly While many in the Egyptian and could not come back. fl ake generation”. throughout our daily lives. Italian media have insinuated foul “You cannot just release a foreigner Speaking at a conference on free “No-platforming is only ever in- play on behalf of the Egyptian security that has been tortured, because you speech, he said that debates on “con- voked against those who already have services, the Egyptian government has are exposing to the world what you are troversial” topics such as atheism and the privilege of platforms; those speak- emphatically rejected these claims, doing inside your prisons.” abortion should be had in the class- HELP CHILDREN DEVELOP TO ers will still be able to receive airtime, suggesting criminal motives may have Speaking to Italian newspaper room rather than being banned simply attend events, and continue espousing been at play. Corriere della Sera, the Foreign because they are off ensive. BECOME MORE ROBUST their views. For experts who study human rights Minister Sameh Shoukry dismissed He said: “We need to help children “It is not an act of silencing, but in Egypt, Regeni’s injuries bear the the idea, calling the suggestions of develop to become more robust to rather a statement by those who do hallmarks of an extrajudicial killing at complicity merely “judgments, accu- understand ideas that are contrary to No-platforming and safe spaces not receive that same privilege.” the hands of the security services. sations and insinuations, unjustifi ed their own by role modelling. have become popular subject mat- But this case is puzzling because it is and without proof.” “Sometimes we have children say- ters not just on university campuses the fi rst time the victim was a foreign Instead, the investigation is largely ing some extreme views. Children in general, but at the University of academic. Usually, one could expect being focused on Regeni’s close friends from very religious backgrounds say- Cambridge in particular. the state to harass or deport such an and contacts, with the security forces ing things like homosexuals should be Last year, CUSU LGBT+ and the ARS ELECTRONICA individual, but the foreign passport mainly questioning these people, in at put in prison. Women’s Campaign opposed the invi- should have protected him physically. least one case without a lawyer. “ at’s as extreme a view as you tation of Germaine Greer to speak at Rumours have surfaced in the  e Interior Ministry has said that could get in a liberal democracy. the Union, in line with many similar Italian media suggesting that Regeni their investigation pointed towards Rather than just saying you’re not al- protests at other universities. may have been gathering informa- several possibilities, including murder lowed to say that in the classroom, [I In October, disagreement with the tion for the Italian intelligence agency, as an act of revenge, or other criminal would] ask what other people think, Union’s invitation to Julian Assange with journalists citing the historical motives, noting: “the Italian had many why do they think it’s wrong and so led to a referendum over whether he ties between universities and intel- relationships with people near where on.” should be allowed to speak. ligence, as well as Regeni’s brief time he lives and where he studied”. He added that this is something However, speaking to Varsity, at British-American security consul-  ough the nature and violence of currently lacking in primary and sec- CUSU’s Women’s Offi cer Charlotte tancy Oxford Analytica. Regeni’s injuries seem to make per- ondary education, in his view lending Chorley disagreed with the framing of But while this might explain extraor- sonal disagreement an unlikely cause, policies such as “no-platforming” and policies such as no-platforming as an dinary action by the Egyptian state, the there is little chance of the security “safe spaces” greater popularity. inhibition to free speech. Regeni family have called such sugges- services, who are themselves tasked “Help them go to university and en- She said: “It is disingenuous to tions off ensive to his memory. with drawing up a list of suspects, in- courage children not to be scared that view no-platforming as a lack of Assange’s Union invitation An explanation suggested by Marina vestigating one of their own. other people will disagree with them. engagement, or to frame it as the caused controversy 10 News Friday 26th February 2016 News in Brief 7.7 PER CENT EMPLOYMENT BOOST IN 2014/15 18METRE LETTER CINDIES BRAWL CAMCRAG EN ROUTE TO CALAIS Cambridge sees massive growth New fi gures reveal that the 22,000 companies Addie’s junior Man attacked Students visiting registered within 20 miles of Cambridge en- joyed a 7.7 per cent increase in turnover, docs hand letter while phoning refugee camps which now stands at £33 billion, and a 7.7 per cent increase in employment. e fi g- to government police at Cindies this weekend ures do not include AstraZeneca, whose local employment data is not reported. An 18-metre-long letter writ- A man told Cambridge Crown Court is Saturday, another convoy of vol- In 2014/15, the fastest-growing sec- ten by Dr Katy Shorttle, a trainee that he was hit in the back of the head unteers from Cambridge Calais Refu- tors were construction and utilities and GP at Addenbrooke’s Hospital in with a weapon while he was on the gee Action Group (CamCRAG) will property and fi nance, where employ- CMGLEE Cambridge, was signed by more phone trying to contact the police to pile into cars laden with donations ment grew by 23 per cent and 18.5 per cent than 3,500 junior doctors during a deal with a brawl in the city centre. and head across the Channel to lend respectively. march in London on 6th February. Nawaf Alhumaydani, 23, of Shelley their help to refugees living in camps By contrast, computing, life sciences research It was delivered to the Department Road, Chemsford, said he sustained a in Calais and Dunkirk. CamCRAG has services and high-tech manufacturing, which make of Health on Wednesday in protest wound that did not heal for two weeks appealed to members of the public to up 30 per cent of employment, grew steadily over the last at the new junior doctors’ contracts after the incident in which he was hit lend their time and to donate items four years, with a compound growth rate of turnover of set to be imposed this summer. in the back of the head with a belt. that may alleviate the refugees’ plight. over 7.9 per cent per annum.

‘BIOLOGICALLY PLAUSIBLE’ THE FORCE AWAKENS e Week in Numbers Cambridge academic Mark Hamill in warns of talcum Cambridge this powder cancer link Saturday e number of candidates, all male, running for the Talcum powder may raise the risk Mark Hamill, best known for play- 5 CUSU Presidency in this year’s election of women getting ovarian cancer, a ing Jedi knight Luke Skywalker in Cambridge academic has wanted. the Star Wars franchise, will be ap- Paul Pharoah, Reader in Cancer pearing at the Cambridge Union Epidemiology, has said that it is “bi- Society this weekend in an event Donation received by St Edmund’s College from the Oki- ologically plausible” that grains of the society anticipates will enjoy a talcum powder could enter the fal- “high expected turnout”. £1.5m naga family to fund its College Tower lopian tubes and cause ovarian in- e actor, writer and director, fl ammation which could lead to the who recently reprised his role as disease. ough he insisted that the Skywalker for 2015’s Star Wars: e risk was small, Pharoah said that the Force Awakens and is currently fi lm- Percentage of students who fi nd their workload “manage- powder “more likely than not” raised ing the series’ eighth instalment, the chance of ovarian cancer. will take part in a Q&A session. 47 able and healthy”, according to the Big Cambridge Survey

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[email protected] Discover the world at Leiden University Friday 26th February 2016 Science 11 Biorobotic bladders: breakthrough Taking black holes to treatment for spinal injury the next dimension

shatter relativity. e black hole in M chael Baumgartner W ll am Dorrell question is a spinning ring that warps Sc ence Correspondent Sc ence Correspondent and bulges, much like water droplets separating in a stream of water, until

Believe it or not, we are electrical REBECCA HARDGRAVE Einstein’s theory of relativity is 100 the connection between the bulges creatures. Each and every living cell years old this year. It has been placed on the ring gets thinner and thin- in your body is electrically active. under scrutiny like no theory before it ner. Most black holes collapse into e sodium-potassium pump, which and passed with fl ying colours. In the a sphere which would enclose the you may remember from secondary most impressive of these tests, two singularity, but when the ring is suf- school biology, pumps sodium ions ultra-high accuracy aluminium ion fi ciently thin, the singularity is naked out of the cell and potassium ions in, clocks were installed one foot verti- to our observation. creating a diff erence in charge across cally above the other. “ e better we get at simulating the cell membrane. Neurons exploit Relativity predicts that the higher Einstein’s theory of gravity in higher these diff erences in charge and ion clock, experiencing less gravity, will dimensions, the easier it will be for us concentrations to rapidly carry sig- run slightly faster. is tiny diff erence to help with advancing new compu- nals down the length of their cell bod- Loss of bladder control is an unfairly neglected condition was experimentally observed and tational techniques – we’re pushing ies and trigger the release of chemical amounted to one part in 1,016, or for the limits of what you can do on a messengers. many moon-shot projects are trucking a button, stimulates the nerves in such every 10,000,000,000,000,000 ticks computer when it comes to Einstein’s Given the importance of electric- along, others – such as the Cambridge a way as to cause urination, eff ectively of one clock the other lost a tock. theory,” said Saran Tunyasuvunakool, ity in such varied and important researchers led by Professor James returning voluntary urination to the However, researchers at Cambridge’s co-author of the paper and a PhD biological functions, clinicians have Fawcett – aim to use such biorobotics individual’s control. In order to pre- Department of Applied Mathematics student at DAMTP. “But if cosmic long hoped to use it for therapeutic to solve pressing medical issues in the vent involuntary urination, however, and eoretical Physics (DAMTP) censorship doesn’t hold in higher applications. Some of this research here and now. surgeons must sever nerves in the pel- have shown that if you allow our four- dimensions, then maybe we need to is hair-raisingly ambitious, even bor- is group set about refi ning a vis necessary for, among other things, dimensional world (three spatial di- look at what’s so special about a four- derline sci-fi . Take, for example, the treatment for one often overlooked erections and vaginal lubrication. mensions plus time) to extend to fi ve, dimensional universe that means it brain-computer interface. e princi- symptom of spinal cord injury: the Many patients are understand- then black holes can be imagined that does hold.” ple is straightforward: the brain trans- loss of bladder control. e brainstem ably put off by such complications. ‘break’ Einstein theory. e concept of extra dimensions mits specifi c information – such as to typically regulates urination; injury Fawcett and his colleagues have test- Einstein’s theory in part predicts has long been a possibility. If you im- reach forward and grab a water bot- to the spinal cord, however, can sever ed in animals an improvement to this that mass deforms space-time (the agine a world of fl atlanders who ef- tle – via a specifi c pattern of electrical the nerves linking the brain stem and system which eliminates the need to four-dimensional space we live in) and fectively live on a piece of paper, they signals. erefore, it ought to be pos- bladder. People with spinal cord inju- sever those nerves. Instead of cutting that this deformation is what causes could go happily about their two-di- sible to record electrical activity in the ry therefore have to live with the un- the nerves, the new device monitors gravity. If the ditch in space-time mensional lives without any concept brain, pick out patterns in the signal, pleasantness of frequent involuntary the electrical activity of these nerves, from the massive object descends to of what the third dimension means. and convey those patterns as instruc- urination. Minor as this seems in the which carries information on the full- infi nity, then even light cannot escape Similarly, the world could be a much tions to a computer. Combine such an grand scheme of spinal cord injury, ness of the bladder back to the spinal and a black hole is formed. is point higher multidimensional place of interface with sophisticated robotics these patients list regaining bladder cord. at which space-time is deformed to which we would have no understand- and then people who suff ered spinal control as one of their chief desires. By listening in on this fl ow of infor- infi nity is called a singularity, and ing beyond the three spatial dimen- cord injuries or amputations could Current therapies leave a lot to be mation, the device can stimulate the the Cosmic Censorship Conjecture sions we experience. control a new, prosthetic limb via desired. e most common treatment nerves to prevent unwanted urination, claims that since nothing can escape However, where our imagination thought. is to use botulinum toxin to paralyse detect when the bladder is full, and the black hole’s gravity, observing breaks off , the limit of physical in- Research in this fi eld is progress- the bladder so that it can then be inform the user when bladder voiding them is impossible. Black holes are tuition at the third dimension, the ing but, predictably, has a long way to drained with a catheter. A more ele- is necessary. e group’s work, which hidden behind their ‘event horizon’ maths keep running and predicting go. While interning in Florida, my lab gant solution is the Finetech-Brindley has been published in the prestigious – the boundary beyond which light phenomena such as this fi ve-dimen- supervisor strapped me into a wildly Sacral Anterior Root Stimulator, a Science Translational Medicine jour- cannot escape. sional black hole. Whether this rep- expensive tangle of electrodes and prosthetic surgically implanted within nal, demonstrates that technologies However, a theoretically possible resents a closer image of ‘reality’ is amplifi ers. I typed on a computer di- the pelvis. is device connects to the as far-fetched as biological-computer fi ve-dimensional black hole shaped in another question altogether: one that rectly from my mind... but it took me nerves linking the spinal cord to the interfaces will soon benefi t human a very thin ring breaks this, leaving an research like this makes all the more fi ve minutes to spell ‘ice cream.’ While bladder and, when the patient presses beings in the present. observable singularity which would pertinent. Fired together, wired together: romance in the brain

feelings real, or just a side eff ect of pared them to scans taken while the potential victims of jealousy, abuse, unrelated to sex or childrearing, in- altered brain activity? students looked at pictures of neutral or crimes of passion. cluding non-romantic touch, and acquaintances. e major brain ar- all kinds of emotions, such as fear e play’s answer was, predictably, eas with increased romantic activity No discussion of romantic chemistry and envy. e lesson? Love is scien- the former. More generally, though, were part of the brain’s reward sys- would be complete without oxytocin tifi cally complicated; cherry-picking implying that ‘mere’ biochemistry tem, a set of interconnected regions – touted as the ‘cuddle chemical’ – data is bad science. has nothing to do with true love that help us recognise and pursue and vasopressin. ese hormones rather misses the point. ere’s a pleasurable stimuli. came to fame through early studies At this point, die-hard romantics will joke about a sensitive neuroscientist on monogamous rodents called prai- probably complain that brain scans who got engaged: she stuck her head ‘Pleasurable stimulus’ might not be rie voles. In these animals, activity and biochemistry take all the mys- in a brain scanner and presented a poetical description of one’s new- in brain regions detecting oxytocin tery out of love. Pragmatists might the results at the altar, saying “I do, found fl eet-footed, tall, dark, hand- (for females) or vasopressin (males) counter that mystery is damnably and here’s proof!” ( e point being, some love interest, but it is some- goes up after mating and predicts unhelpful when deciding whether to of course, that for neuroscientists, what accurate. It also helps explain how faithful a pair will be; blocking spend the rest of your life with that measurable changes in brain activity why new romances can border on oxytocin or vasopressin increases special someone. Now, if you’ll ex- or hormones are as real as you can obsession, and why break-ups hurt promiscuity. In humans, oxytocin is cuse me, I’ve got a hot date with my get.) Finding out whether love has a so much: since the brain circuitry implicated in both maternal and ro- boyfriend and an MRI scanner. NEUROPOP neurological basis should not deval- overlaps with neural mechanisms mantic bonding, but its precise role ue our experiences of romance, and controlling addiction, depriving is less clear. with as a sensitive neuroscientist myself, someone of their romantic ‘reward’ I’m honour-bound to suggest that it eff ectively puts them through dev- Unfortunately, the media frenzy over Joy actually enriches them. astating withdrawal symptoms. is oxytocin also has a dark side. Some is doesn’t mean love should be treated exaggeration: if we believe the head- Thompson Jokes aside, do our brains really light like alcoholism – notwithstanding lines, a squirt of oxytocin spray cures up when we’re in the throes of a new the 2012 Science paper showing that everything from marital breakdown romance? According to functional sexually deprived male fl ies consume to anorexia. Some is dishonest: absti- Last term, my lab went to the Corpus MRI studies, they do. Some of the more alcohol than satiated ones! In- nence-only sex educators sometimes Playroom to see e Eff ect. is was best-known work was done in 2005 stead, this knowledge could make us misquote data ‘proving’ that women ideal entertainment for our group by Helen Fisher and colleagues, and more forgiving of others who can’t should save their oxytocin response of researchers, being a mixture of involved university students who stop talking about their amazing for marriage, lest they be irreversibly romance, drama, and neurobiology. had recently fallen in love. Fisher’s new partners (even if we are sick of traumatised by pair-bonding with Two people are enrolled in a clinical team collected brain scans while hearing about them). More seriously, too many people. is ignores oxy- NICK GUEMES trial of a new antidepressant and fall each student contemplated photo- understanding the mechanics of love tocin’s inconvenient habit of showing passionately in love – but are their graphs of their beloved, then com- and rejection could also help protect up in all kinds of human interactions 12 Interview Friday 26th February 2016

that? What varsity introducing inspired you? t r a v e l l e d Tide follows two young women as the world and met so they go about their daily lives: the many amazing people. Getting relationship between them is very into Cambridge was a really big ambiguous, you’re not really sure achievement for me because who’s caring for who and whether I’ve had to juggle studying they’re in love or just friends. It’s quite and work commitments, and difficult to explain because it’s very Anyone who’s making the decision to go to visual, but above all it’s about dealing a youngest child will university meant that I could with the absence of the one person in know that there’s always only do projects I really your life that you rely on. We shot it fewer home videos of you, so wanted to do. I decided last summer, and we’re now editing Since starring as Lucy Pevensie we make jokes that my home that for the three years I’m it, which is really exciting and it feels in the award-winning e Chronicles videos are the Narnia films. at Cambridge I want to like everything is coming together. I of Narnia films, Georgie Henley has My grandma loves watching the focus on experimentation, actually had the idea about five years undertaken an English degree at Clare films and my parents normally especially with theatre, ago when I went to this beach in College, acted in both student theatre flick on the first one at Christmas and take time out of Lytham, St Anne’s, and since then the and onscreen, and directed her own whilst they’re decorating the professional work. idea’s changed dramatically, but always film, Tide, which is due to be complet- tree or something. I can’t really stuck with me.  ere’s so much talent ed later this year. watch them for a long time, but I What have been your in Cambridge and so many resources can watch them for a bit because I highlights of the that I wanted to make the most of, that What are your best memories of look so young in them that it doesn’t Cambridge theatre I thought why not? filming the Narnia series? Are you really feel like I’m watching myself; scene? still in touch with the other cast it’s more a like a version of myself. Have you always wanted to be an members?  ere’s definitely an image of me I’ve done a really actor? What are your plans for the imprinted in people’s brains, which is crazy mix of stuff . future?

I was really young when I started weird to think about. ANDRÉ PATTENDEN In my first year filming, so when I remember it, it’s I played Hecuba in I have always wanted to since seeing like this weird line between reality and Did you grow up reading the Narnia e Trojan Women and a gender- my older sister acting, singing and dream.  e best day I can remember books, and would you consider typecast. ambiguous alcoholic chaplain in A dancing, and Narnia gave me the was turning nine on set, because we acting in fantasy again?  e roles I was Clockwork Orange within two weeks: opportunity to see that I could make it were filming in New Zealand and I’d off ered were very similar and I wanted that’s the kind of freedom we have a career. I want to continue acting, but been away from my family for about We read the Narnia series in school to do something new and go forward, here to express diff erent ideas. Skylight also being given the freedom to write two months; my mum had been with and I would get annoyed because and experiment with loads of diff erent was great because, considering it was and direct in Cambridge has been me, but my dad and sisters flew out on I’d have read on ahead at home and stuff .  ere’s never been any kind put together so quickly and acting amazing and made me realise that it is my birthday. We had a special cake and then everything would be repeated of plan, I think some people feel the on stage for two hours was such a something I want to pursue. the production assistants decorated in class when we read it together. I’ll need to over-compensate and destroy big responsibility, we didn’t expect my trailer, it was like crazy fantasy read anything now, I’m into American the image people have of them when the amazing reaction we got. I get so It’s difficult for women to be taken stuff . In terms of keeping in touch, modernism which my dissertations they’ve acted as a child, but I’ve never nervous when I’m acting, but I find that seriously in the industry, so you just we’re all doing diff erent things but, are on, but I’m looking forward to really felt the need to do that. when I’m onstage I completely forget have to put yourself out there and whenever we can see each other, we reading for pleasure again.  ere’s so my nerves. In film there’s the sense of believe in your work. You have to do. We spent so much time together much reading for your degree that you How do you think being involved in ‘it’s forever’, which is also terrifying; I convey that you have a story and a that we genuinely are so close. It’s can’t just read that F. Scott Fitzgerald the Narnia series has impacted on can’t really work out whether I prefer message, and that’s what I want to great, I love them so much. novel you always wanted to. As for you and your life, not only during acting for theatre or film, but there are do: whether I’m acting, writing or acting, I auditioned for Narnia when I the years of filming but even now? definitely diff erent pressures. directing, I want to tell stories that How do you feel looking back at the was seven and finished when I was 15: wouldn’t otherwise be told. films, and seeing a snapshot of your when you’ve been part of something It’s a very clichéd phrase, but it has You’re now working on your own younger self preserved? for so long you do worry about getting completely changed my life: I’ve film, Tide; can you tell us a bit about Georgie was talking to Joanna Taylor Charlotte Proudman: we ‘should embrace’ the ‘angry feminist’ Alice Chilcott talks LinkedIn, law and lad culture with the Cambridge PhD student turned women’s rights campaigner

Last September, Charlotte Proudman me, by placing her experiences within understand,” she says, hesitantly, the ‘angry feminist’. “In a society where comes to law, women are presumed was catapulted into the public eye the wider perspective of the feminist “why women accept those invitations. you’re constantly facing sexism on an to consent to the law’s rule and yet when her tweet accusing a male law- movement. “What I tended to do It’s much easier to side with power, everyday basis, to get angry about that they’re not equally represented.” yer of sexism went viral. Alexander was focus on the real struggle here... through patriarchy, than it is to side – to be strident in your feminism – is She gives the example of prostitu- Carter-Silk commented on her “stun- speaking out against sexism within with the powerless minority. But, ulti- completely justifi able. tion laws. “Who are the ones who ning” LinkedIn profi le picture with the workplace, and listening to other mately, I think it has to be recognised “We shouldn’t accept those types of are sexually exploiting women? Men. the acknowledgement that “this is women who shared their own stories that the power that they do have in criticisms that are levelled against us – Who are the ones who go to prison? probably horrendously politically in- with me.” I ask her if, in retrospect, she going along is nowhere near compara- or if we do, we should embrace them.” Prostituted women.” correct”. Proudman’s response picked would go back and change her deci- ble to the status that the men have in Proudman went into law to change It is a sobering thought that apart his remarks with surgical preci- sion to send the message, to share the these societies. women’s lives, she says – but disen- Proudman’s logic is eff ectively a recali- sion. She wrote: “I am on LinkedIn... photo. “No,” she says fl atly. It seems to “ ey still remain second-class citi- chantment with what she terms the brated version of that put forward over not to be approached about my physi- be a question she’s used to. zens... all they’re doing is perpetuating “institutional sexism” of the 100 years ago by Emmeline Pankhurst. cal appearance or objectifi ed by sexist A Sociology PhD candidate at the idea that a woman’s role is [to legal profession itself set  e suff ragettes’ mantra, too, centred men.” She then tweeted a screenshot Cambridge, she has also spoken out be] there for objectifi cation.” in quickly. on the denial of the legal jurisdiction of the entire exchange. against the upper-class ‘lad culture’ It is inconvenient for She criticises the of a government which refused to al- Swinging on a deskchair in the fostered by exclusive societies such Proudman’s critics that recent suggestion low women to participate in the for- Varsity offi ces, Proudman still seems as the male-only Pitt Club, and the very little about her of Supreme Court mation of the law. Now Proudman, genuinely surprised by the public re- Magdalene Wyverns, whose notorious matches the stereotype Justice Sumption whose own grandmother was a suff ra- action. It wasn’t, she tells me, a case of jelly-wrestling spectacle was banned of the shrieky, harangu- that a rush for gette, is determined to transform the the straw that broke the camel’s back. last year. Proudman, who studied for ing man-hater that gender equality system from the inside. Rather, it was part of an ongoing at- her undergraduate degree at Keele they seem so keen to would destab- “I think, ultimately, I’ll go back [into tempt to resist everyday instances of University, says this culture is signifi - perpetuate. She has lise the judicial Law] and I’ll continue the fi ght, try- sexism in an industry which, accord- cantly more endemic at the so-called a low, gentle voice, system. “Women ing to introduce feminist laws, such as ing to Proudman, is still overwhelm- ‘elite’ universities, where a privileged and the eloquence have been told quotas for women.” ingly male-dominated. “I would be few form ties to the exclusion of wom- to match the urgency this, continually, Proudman uses words like “fi ght” surprised if any woman lawyer has not en, the lower classes, and racial and of the message she is for 50 years, 100 and “sisterhood” without a hint of self- experienced sexism personally. I cer- religious minorities. It’s a theme that trying to convey. She’s years, 150 years – consciousness or aff ectation. Listening tainly had, but I always make a point resurfaces in Proudman’s analysis of never heard of Cuntry just be patient and to her, one is immediately struck by of attempting to challenge sexism the legal profession. “Men feel more Living, and is cautiously wait. Well, if women just how real this “struggle” is. If the wherever I see it or experience it. comfortable interviewing other men enthusiastic about the continue to wait, in vision of feminism she presents seems “ at was no diff erent, really, to any who mirror their own background,” participation of men a system infused by bleak at times, it is heartening to know other attempts of challenging sexism I Proudman insists. “ ey go to the in feminist dis- sexism, where men there is someone who is unashamedly had encountered. I never expected it same gentleman’s club, they went to courses. At the have the power to devoting her life to combating the is- to go as viral as it did.” the same public school, they went to same time, she promote women, sues she highlights. And she’s willing At the time, Proudman’s tweet at- the same university – and women are does not wish they will be wait- to take any opportunity to further her tracted a mixed response from the constantly seen as ‘diff erent’.” to shy away JOSH ANDRUS ANDRUS ing in biblical cause. “Keep the bit about quotas?” media and judicial establishments. Why, then, are female students from the proportion. she asks me, as she leaves. “I want She dealt with the backlash, she tells complicit in such activities? “I can image of “When it people to see that.” Comment Friday 26th February 2016 Comment 13 Jesus cockerel row: idealism gets in the way of good

n  ursday last week, Jesus particular, some spoke about how process that drags on, and achieves passionate advocate. College Student Union the proposal to remove the statue little, only to return to the central It is precisely this kind of ideologic- O passed an historic resolu- was “unprofessional” and turned agreement a month from now; all the al purity that repeatedly prevents ac- tion to return the bronze cockerel, or the “massacre of people into a joke”. while the cockerel spends longer away tivists from being eff ective. If Occupy ‘okukor’ to Nigeria, the country from Ironically, the person spouting these from its rightful home. In sum, there had actually been eff ective in courting which it was taken in 1897, after the words supported the repatriation of will be many words said and much ink congressional and public support, in- British had set the city of Benin ablaze. the cockerel. Perhaps most bizarre spilt only to return to the underlying stead of driving them away, perhaps  e actions of the JCSU in pursuing is the fact that some criticised Jesus consensus – it is an exercise in intel- we would be having a real conversa- this matter are nothing short of com- College for claiming that it was up to lectual futility. While the decision tion about income inequality. Now, mendable; in a place like Cambridge, Jesus College to remove the okukor, around returning a statue to its right- we are left with a carnival of a presi- achieving change takes about as long as if that right belonged to somebody ful home may seem minor – though, dential election cycle. Bernie Sanders as it does a snail to run a marathon. else. Again, everyone in the room was nevertheless, a just cause – this epi- himself, a man who has done more  ose involved in the decision also in agreement that the okukor needed sode perhaps points to a broader and than most to address issues of urban provided a perfect example of how to be returned. In one of the evening’s nefarious trend within student activ- poverty, found himself interrupted at to achieve cultural change properly. sillier moments, the fact that some ism. In many social movements over a rally by Black Lives Matter activists. Unlike the now infamous ‘Rhodes considered returning the statue the the last decade driven by students, Forgive me for being naïve, but isn’t it Must Fall’ campaign, which demon- “moral thing to do” was condemned too often have we been concerned the worst strategy in the playbook to Connor MacDonald strated as much delicacy as a bull in as “paternal narration”. Again… you with ideological or moral purity attack one’s allies? a China shop, the students of Jesus know what I’m going to say. over actually achieving change. Take Instead of developing a consensus College participated in a wide-ranging Occupy Wall Street, for example; in around common causes, activists see discussion with various stakeholders. perhaps one of the most absurd mo- fi t to divide themselves around sym- e response of Unlike Rhodes Must Fall, whose lead- ments in recent activist history, John bolic issues, such as the wording of a ers saw fi t to condemn anyone from Lewis was prevented from addressing proposal to repatriate stolen art.  is activists in the fellow students to the country of Occupy Atlanta. is particularly problematic for stu- France for perceived white suprema- THE VAST MAJORITY OF US For those who are wondering, no, dents like ourselves. Regardless of our Nigerian art debate cy, the campaign to remove the cock- ARE MOTIVATED BY SOME not the John Lewis who sells over- political persuasion, I think the vast erel has clearly been conducted with priced clothes, the John Lewis who majority of us are motivated by some does not help resolve some modicum of respect. What is FORM OF IDEALISM marched with Martin Luther King Jr. form of idealism, a desire to change more, the fact that consultations are for civil rights. Because the activists things for the better. However, it takes historical tensions still ongoing to draft an even more in Atlanta believed that to let John time and it takes patience; it is not powerful proposal is a testament What this episode demonstrates Lewis speak would be implying that enough to scream from the rooftops to the patience and good will of the is that too often students and cam- he was more important than other in- or toil over the perfect wording for a campaigners. It’s no surprise that paigners fi nd their causes riven with dividuals – the direct quote being ‘no resolution. What we need to change the motion to repatriate the cockerel ideological disputes that miss the big- individual is inherently more valuable the world is solidarity, compromise passed nearly unanimously. ger picture. Why was it not possible than any other’ – they denied him a and consensus. After all, Jesus College However, there are also those who, to simply come to a consensus about platform to address the assembly. didn’t repatriate the okukor by being throughout this process, let the per- the necessity of moving the cockerel, Instead, Lewis was whisked away to loud and obnoxious: they did it by be- fect be the enemy of the good. In and move on? Instead we may have a another meeting, and Occupy lost a ing quiet, patient, and united. Sex ed is important – let’s not leave it to chance avid Cameron has blocked freely, as relationships were born and respect, just the pervasive spectre of jealousy. He cut off all of his friends a recent proposal to imple- broken over things as petty as emo- the school nurse, whose only advice to spend time with me, and manipu- D ment compulsory sex edu- jis on MSN. For the most part, this existed in the form of innumerable lated me into agreeing with his opin- cation across schools in Britain, in a behaviour was harmless. However, I free condoms. With this total negli- ions. When I discovered I didn’t enjoy move that will undoubtedly maintain found that this sheen of excitement gence to deliver thorough informa- having sex, I assumed it was because its already dire state. Schools that do began to rub off as one got older and tion, young people are being left to I was female and wasn’t supposed to provide some form of PSHE or sex things became more ‘serious’. form their own conclusions about enjoy it. Yet for the duration of the education fi nd it generally satisfac- Suddenly, any sexual behaviour how a ‘normal’ sexual and romantic relationship, I couldn’t point to why tory to whisk students through crude came under scrutiny by a sporadic set relationship should function. I felt so uneasy and upset, putting it PowerPoint presentations of STIs and of rules determined by peers whose When I started going out with down to a fault of my own and natu- brief demonstrations of how to put knowledge was no less pretended my fi rst boyfriend, this meant I had ralising behaviour that would be con- a condom on, while academies and than your own: have too many sexual no point of reference whatsoever – sidered abusive in adult terms. faith schools are at leisure to pick and encounters and you’re a slut, don’t put school had failed, my parents were Of course, teenage relationships choose what parts they want to in- out and you’re a prude. splitting up at the time and I was one are diff erent to their adult counter- clude. It is a commonality across the  ese are all tired stereotypes that of the fi rst of my friends to have a parts’, and I don’t suggest that they country that where such teaching ex- remain relevant even to adult be- steady relationship.  e non-pareil of should always be treated in the same Sarah Wilson ists, it is non-standardised and patchy, haviour today. However, widespread romantic relationships existed to me manner. But at the same time, the ro- and this latest move by Cameron misinformation and lack of guidance in fi ctional forms like e Notebook, mantic and sexual relationships we betrays both outdated squeamish- doesn’t only culminate in the kind in which Ryan Gosling’s character have in our teenage years do not exist ness on the subject and an attitude of of spiteful attacks I was witness to (a threatens to kill himself if Rachel in a vacuum, and deserve to be con- ambivalence, dismissing support and trauma in itself). More dangerously, McAdams’s character does not agree sidered more seriously. e bad romantic guidance for teenage sexual relation- a space begins to open up for toxic, to go out with him. Charming.  is For some, they go on to set a prec- ships as superfl uous. damaging relationships to thrive provided the perfect environment for edent for later life, and for others can and sexual habits Of course, standing on the preci- unchecked. the following year and a half of our incur lasting emotional or physical pice of my twenties and looking back, In an experience common to class- relationship to appear entirely within damage, in the same way that adult that we pick up in there is much about my own early ex- rooms across the country, my sex the realm of normal as, like so many relationships can. Learning from mis- periences in this area that seem more education classes provided me with others, I relied on misleading advice takes is an important part of develop- our teenage years funny than severe. ‘Love’ was a word just this: sex is always a penis in a va- I’d absorbed along the way from a ment in this period, but unhealthy that cropped up in every Facebook gina; only men derive pleasure from plethora of questionable sources. relationships and sexual encounters stay with us conversation, and even came in dig- sex (and it’s over when he fi nishes) To start, his obsessive clinginess should not have to be a rite of passage, ital form to gift people on Bebo social and sex always carries a high risk of meant that I sometimes pretended as they are for so many in Britain. cred. Courtship in Year 8 was conduct- pregnancy and STIs. A friend told me to stay with a friend so I could be As long as the current system stays ed by drawing in biro on each other’s the other day that she didn’t know the alone – but this to me was a facet of the same, teenagers will continue to hands, and a middle man approach- female orgasm existed until almost being in love. Persistent ‘jokes’ about needlessly tolerate misinformed at- ing you in the social area with the two years of being sexually active. On how revealing my clothing was, and titudes towards sex and sexuality, as golden refrain: ‘my mate fancies you’. the relationship side of things, there a stream of check-up texts whenever well as detrimental, dangerous be- Love was a concept bandied around was not a whisper about consent and I went out, was an example of male haviour in relationships. 14 Comment Friday 26th February 2016

Anti-Semitism is fl ourishing in the student Left his is a well-worn subject in we feel vulnerable telling people that campaigners due to the hostility they from any discussion of the Israeli- other parts of the country, but extra security has been provided for feel. Many of the Jewish students call- Palestinian confl ict. For the record, T in Cambridge I don’t feel we’ve us because we expect people to tell us ing out left-wing groups at the mo- most of the time I’m a liberal Zionist, really talked about it. So I’m throwing that that’s an example of our privilege ment are left-wing themselves – we and I believe in a two-state solution in my two cents’ worth, more in the rather than a sign of our weakness. also struggled to get Labour elected according to the pre-1967 borders hope that this will reach a new audi- last year, volunteer to help refugees with complete dismantlement of the ence than because I think I have any- in Calais, and argue bitterly with our Israeli settlements. I hope for the thing new to say. close friends and relatives about the development of an economic part- Anti-Semitism exists on the stu- need to end the occupation in Gaza nership between the two countries dent Left. I know this for a fact be- and the West Bank. On so many is- to foster interdependence and, hope- cause I experience it and many other I STRONGLY RECOMMEND sues, we are on the same side, and we fully, peace.  e rest of the time I Jewish students experience it. We THAT THE STUDENT LEFT want to support and engage with these despair at Israel’s recent and current feel it in the word ‘Zio’, fl ung around campaigns.  e problem – the denial administrations for their signifi cant in left-wing groups, in the assump- SORTS ITSELF OUT that there is a threat to our well-being part in continuing a confl ict that tions made about our political views in these movements, rather than a does no service to its moral integrity and fi nancial situation based on our sincere attempt to fi x it – makes me or the principles of my religion. heritage, and in the raised eyebrows  e thing is, I shouldn’t have to want to disengage with student poli- But I don’t think my views on Israel when we defi ne ourselves as an eth- give a list of true accounts to convince tics entirely. And if I try and get in- are necessarily relevant, because I nic minority. But most of all, we feel anyone that anti-Semitism is alive and volved, and then hear the word ‘Zio’ believe that it is possible to separate it in the stark denial of the existence going strong. Let me remind you of being used in Women’s Forum, as I anti-Semitism from anti-Zionism. I of anti-Semitism itself. When student one of the core rules in liberation pol- have, it makes me feel more unwel- just don’t think that people are very Noa Lessof Gendler journalists tell their audiences that itics: you do not question other peo- come than you could possibly know. good at doing that at the moment, “anti-Semitism is a tired old accusa- ple’s lived experiences. You do not say It reminded me of the feeling I got and if anyone would like to know tion from Zionists” and the article to anyone “You’re crying wolf”. You when someone casually called some- how or why, all they have to do is lis- gets 486 shares, I start to feel vulner- do not tell them that they’re imagin- one a “fucking Jew” in front of me ten up.  roughout the Jewish com- e Left and able. When a friend posts an article ing their oppression. You do not tell without knowing that I myself am, in munity debates are being held over Judaism have so about an anti-Semitic attack on a them they’re making it up or that they fact, a fucking Jew. how we address this current wave liberation-themed Facebook group should consider their privilege. You I’m Jewish, but that doesn’t mean of hatred from the Left, and as with much in common – and the overwhelming response is do not make it their fault. So when I’m a Tory. I’m Jewish, but that doesn’t all other oppressed groups, you just “discrimination against Jews isn’t dis- we, Jewish students en masse, say that mean I’m rich. I’m Jewish, but that have to open your minds to our nar- let’s not throw that crimination”, I feel vulnerable. When we fi nd the student Left a threatening doesn’t mean I have Palestinian blood rative, off er your friendship, and re- I lie about my summer holidays rath- place to be right now, we expect the on my hands, and as such I shouldn’t form your spaces so that they don’t away er than telling someone I was in Israel student Left, in accordance with its have to feel nervous about conversa- feel so hostile. If the student Left can visiting family, it’s because I feel vul- own principles, to take us seriously tions in Hall when an Israeli speaker do that, and demonstrate that it really nerable. When there’s an anti-Semitic and do something about it. visits the Union or during Israeli isn’t anti-Semitic at the core, then we attack at a JSoc Friday night dinner I strongly recommend that the Apartheid Week, when Facebook be- can engage with a political movement and the student media fails to report student Left sorts itself out, because comes a violent and aggressive space. which shares so many of the values it, we all feel vulnerable. And then it’s losing an awful lot of dedicated I’ve tried to keep this as far away that Judaism itself upholds. Friday 26th February 2016 Comment 15 Who’s afraid of the big bad feminist? n Cambridge, the imminent ar- unhelpful and frankly mistaken atti- to cause real, practical diffi culties. protecting women’s rights and wellbe- rival of spring is heralded not by tudes to female and non-binary rights Election makes you accountable to ing is not intended as a threat to them? I conventional images of exuberant among the student population. Even if all those who voted for you. So be- A BME offi cer is not an anti-white po- daff odils and stumbling baby animals. you reject feminism completely, logi- ing accountable to the whole student sition.  e existence of an LGBT+ of- Instead, many of us must content cally, it just doesn’t make sense. body is inconsistent with the role of fi cer is not the covert sign of an all-out Emily ourselves with the festival of nervous At Corpus, as at many other col- representing and defending a distinct war against the heterosexuals. sweat, stammering speeches and dis- leges, our offi cers for BME, LGBT+ group of students within that body. By Men do have a lot to gain from concertingly adept use of Photoshop and international students must con- no means am I suggesting that we live feminism – this is a result of the way that signifi es the annual election of stitutionally belong to the group they in some anarchic world where the in- that we always conceptualise genders Bailey-Page our JCR committees. Successful can- represent, and only students of each terests of male, female and non-binary against one another. Yet we must not didates emerge blinking in the bright respective group may vote for them. students are always separate, but the forget that diffi culties for men come light of their own optimism; the rest of So why the diff erence with Gender reality is that female and non-binary about because the worse thing in the college delights in having new people Equalities? One argument is that femi- students continue to face compara- world is for them to be seen as re- to drunkenly berate. nism helps men too (!), a fully accurate tive disadvantage in many areas of motely akin to femaled. Being female Aside from discussions on rent but nonetheless tiring refrain from Cambridge life on the basis of their is the ultimate source of denigration, negotiations, kitchen fi xed charges your local neighbourhood male ‘femi- gender.  is group needs specifi c and from this conception springs a and bops threatened by miscellane- nist’, who can’t help feeling like nothing representation. violence that manifests itself in the ous bodily fl uids, elections provide in this world will ever be valuable un- Yet in this set-up Gender Equalities biggest and smallest ways, from one a rare insight into what your college less some man somewhere is gaining offi cers are accountable to men too. in two female students at Cambridge thinks. So it was disappointing after a some sort of tangible benefi t from it. Call me a radical militant, but I don’t feeling that their mental health has constitutional referendum just before Society as a whole will also, as it hap- think you can ever truly and fully rep- had a negative impact on their work Corpus’s elections that literally the pens, benefi t from the eradication of resent a group of which you are not (compared with one in three men), to only amendment out of seven voted homophobia and structural racial in- a part. Unless you lack the maturity the degree courses like my own which down was the proposed change of equality. But you don’t see me, a thor- to not take everything personally, it see women achieve only 8.7 per cent of Gender Equalities offi cer to Women oughly and comprehensively white should be obvious that this is not an Firsts in Part I despite comprising 49.5 and Non-Binary offi cer.  is would woman, running for Ethnic Minorities attack or an act of exclusion. People per cent of the year. If we agree that essentially have meant only female or offi cer because I picked up Malcolm always accuse feminists of being too gender equality is an issue to tackle, We must continue to non-binary students could run and X’s autobiography one time. sensitive, but I’ve never seen anything we accept that there is universal and vote for the role, whereas currently Yes, it’s true, the candidates for and nearly as fragile as a white man’s ego systematic gender inequality. support the representation students of any gender can do so. occupants of this relatively new po- upon being told that feminism isn’t ac- Ultimately, this means that women Before I go on, I think it’s impor- sition have so far only been female. tually all about him. and non-binary students experience of women in college roles tant to mention that I fully support Surely it’s highly unlikely that a man Don’t get me wrong. Some of my unique disadvantages. Let’s also not our outgoing and incoming Gender would run for the position, so it’s just best friends are white men for good- forget that Corpus was one of the last Equalities offi cers. Since its introduc- a pragmatic way of avoiding contro- ness’ sake. I’m writing this column colleges to accept female undergradu- tion, great things have been done with versy in a cultural climate which often not with the intention of stirring up ates, in 1983, well within the scope of the role and I’m sure this will continue. seems to hysterically equate feminism intra-college politics – as I say, those many academics’ careers. It’s time we However, this constitutional arrange- with the tyranny of a Stalinist regime? involved have managed to handle the stop ferociously back-peddling and al- ment not only creates unnecessary Perhaps – but this isn’t just a question role very well. Why do we have this lowed female and non-binary students practical diffi culties for anyone oc- of abstract, ideological justice.  is particular compulsion to constantly the representation they deserve across cupying the position, but perpetuates constitutional set-up has the potential reassure men that the simple act of the board. H e a d s p a c e In her seventh weekly column, Rhiannon Shaw talks about the importance of friendship for mental wellbeing

incredible and continue to be incred- died and I entered into a long bout anything more extreme than that be- honest with them, and with yourself, ible every single day of my bizarre of depression, my friends bought me cause it was just nice to know I wasn’t if this happens. Most illnesses don’t and inconsistent existence. To watch friendship bracelets and assured me alone. Even when he left, it didn’t mat- last forever and, sometimes, anxiety someone you love disappear behind a this meant I could depend on them. In ter that I was left by myself, because and depression can warp your per- cloud of mental illness is harrowing. Year 13, one of my close friends be- I had the assurance that somebody ception so that you don’t realise that To know that you can only do so much came very ill. I took a bus across town cared. And sometimes your friend you’re behaving like a complete twat to help them is perhaps even worse. and went with her to the GP – she will have to be alone – on a long train – trust me, I’ve been there. I don’t think there’s a perfect way to didn’t want to involve her parents, but journey, during a long sleepless night, Finally, know that you’re surpris- be friends with someone who is men- she didn’t want to be alone. Before the on their way to a counselling appoint- ingly loved. A few nights ago I went tally ill, anymore than I believe there appointment we ran through exactly ment. If you remind them, in small out for a drink with a friend. He told is a perfect way to ‘treat’ mental ill- what we were going to say and, after- ways, that you’re on their side, they’ll me that becoming my friend was the ness in general. Every person is diff er- wards, we went to the corner shop to be able to focus on getting better. highlight of his second year. I was gob- Rhiannon Shaw ent and I’d be lying if I said that I have buy chocolate. My penultimate word of advice smacked of course, because last year I been a failproof friend to everyone in During Easter term last year, I had might sound very negative, but know was depressed and about as interest- was a lonely child – but before need of my help – mainly because I’m one friend I was very dependent on. this – illness can change that person ing as a cheddar cheese sandwich. But you get your hankies out, I should very human, but also because I’m a bit We would sit and watch YouTube vid- you love into someone you can’t stand, he loved me anyway. I explain that this was almost com- of a wet fi sh. But I have learnt some eos together, because I didn’t want to someone who brings you more pain I guess the lonely tubby kid is do- pletely by choice. At lunchtime at my things, so bear with me here. leave my room. We didn’t need to do than happiness. Don’t be afraid to be ing okay. fi rst primary school, I used to walk One of the hardest things to realise around by myself because I thought when your friend becomes ill is that playing Mummies and Daddies was so they may not take to your brand of passé. I preferred to make up stories treatment. You can’t make them wake about werewolves and secret castles. up every morning and say 10 nice I still think of myself sometimes as a things about themselves while looking tubby seven-year-old, plodding about in a mirror and listening to Christina with my head in the clouds. Aguilera’s ‘Beautiful’. You can ask if  en, one day, I got over the love of they’ve tried anti-depressants, but if my own company and began to make they’d rather treat themselves with St friends. First one, then two, then lots, John’s wort and daily jogs you should whom I love very much. I hope we all let them. On the other hand, if your end up in the same old folks’ home, friend is refusing to get treatment and complaining that the music isn’t what is putting their life at risk through it used to be and that our grandkids their behaviour, you should tell some- never send us a hologram on our one who can help them; a charity like birthday. Friends are great, because Mind or Student Minds often provide you can eat lunch with them and go links and contact details. You can with them to the disco. Plus, they will strike a balance between being in- almost always tell you if you have food volved in their welfare and allowing on your face. I like their attitude. them the freedom to treat their illness However, for this next bit, I’m go- however they please. ing to have to leave my facetiousness You can show your support in behind, because my friends have been multiple ways. Shortly after my dad 16 Comment Friday 26th February 2016  at time of year again: May Ball hype begins anew

ay Week is uncontestably minefi eld at times, strewn with who- an important part of the Cambridge hot chocolate in the queue and trying one of the highlights of be- knows-who and what you can off er to experience.  at does not mean, how- to persuade my male friends to par- M ing a student at Cambridge. trade. Last year, I engaged in a compli- ever, that you have to spend a huge take in the burlesque lesson later in We suff er a whole year of rambling cated swap that saw my boyfriend and amount of money to have fun. the night. lectures, stressful supervisions (in I attending Trinity May Ball in return Some of the best fun can also be which you attempt to pretend that for me painstakingly doling out John’s had at balls when you pay nothing. you did actually read the whole of tickets to multiple friends. Sometimes Many Cambridge balls allow students Adam Smith’s  e Wealth of Nations – despite the best eff orts of the May to work half the night and enjoy the in three days, and didn’t just read the Ball committees – the prices can sky- other half, off ering an aff ordable way Wikipedia entry) and, fi nally, the hor- rocket, with a pair of tickets for John’s THE CULTURE SURROUNDING to enjoy the festivities. Having worked ror of exam term. May Ball selling at last week’s launch PROCURING TICKETS CAN FEEL at a ball myself, it really can be a huge- For many of us, the driving force party for over £700 (although the mon- ly enjoyable experience. I worked for behind struggling through those ago- ey was donated wholly to charity). LIKE A POLITICAL MINEFIELD the entirety of Selwyn May Ball (a 12- nising last few weeks of Easter term All of this begs the question: can the hour shift in total) and immensely en- is the promise of May Week.  ere balls themselves be worth such extor- joyed it. I got to meet some other great are so many things to look forward tionate amounts of money? Of course, In my time here, I have attended workers, I was asked out by two guests Sarah Doré to, with the end of exams being only ticket prices vary, with smaller balls John’s (twice), Trinity, Fitzwilliam while manning the cheese stand, and one of them. Cambridge is a beauti- selling tickets for below £100.  e big- Winter Ball, and worked at the Selwyn I staggered home the next morning ful, incredible place, and having time gest balls, however, routinely charge May Ball. Of these, one of my fa- exhausted but still happy to have been to explore it and really enjoy being over £300 for a pair of tickets, with vourites was Fitz Winter Ball, which involved with the beauty and fun of Are May Balls and here without the stress of work is an Trinity charging each Trinitarian £165 I attended in my second year. It was the night. amazing experience. Nevertheless, the for this year’s ball. Can such expense freezing cold, I had a broken wrist May Balls are what you make of the culture which highlights of May Week are the balls. be justifi ed? at the time, and it was much smaller them.  e culture surrounding them surrounds them  e balls are touted as the height of On the face of it, the price does than a regular May Ball. And yet, the can be too hyped sometimes, and that elegance and decadence.  ey are lav- seem outrageous. Friends from home tickets were cheap, the entertainment can make the whole thing feel preten- justifi ably decadent? ish parties that stretch on until the sun have balked at having the other half of was good and the headline act ( e tious and over the top. Yes, there is rises, with as much food and drink as my John’s ticket, saying that they sim- Hoosiers) was better than some I have something incredible about punts full you can consume.  ey are bastions of ply couldn’t aff ord to come. As a frugal seen at the bigger balls. of ice and beer. And yes, there is some- music, dancing, comedy and various person myself, I fi nd it diffi cult to part What really made it one of the better thing exciting about securing tickets amusements. As such, the hype sur- with such a large sum of money for one balls that I have been to, however, was to the most prestigious ball and then rounding the balls starts early. Tickets night. And yet, students in Cambridge that I went with a group of friends that looking for the perfect dress to wear are generally released in February or do this every year, spending hundreds I care about. What made the evening on the night. March, but the search begins long be- of pounds to attend the balls. special wasn’t the cocktails and stone- What makes May Balls really spe- fore then as students seek to snag tick- It would be easy to dismiss the huge baked pizza – although they were de- cial, however, is the chance to spend ets to the most lavish balls. amount of money that we spend on licious – but having my friend rush a whole night with your Cambridge  e whole culture surrounding pro- May Balls as obscene, and leave it at to do my hair in the 10 minutes we friends, making memories that will curing tickets can feel like a political that. However, I believe that balls are ended up having to get ready, sipping last a lifetime.

Miranda Slade

o centre a piece on ‘self-love’ insecurity, so instead we are at the is confi ned to it being a euphemism partner ‘instead of their hand’. After love just as you are. feels slightly juvenile, a little mercy of adverts that ask us if we are for masturbating there is something having reached climax (it doesn’t Self-confi dence has become rare. T irreverent, and undeniably beaming like the ‘beach body ready’ wrong. In doing so we narrow the matter if their partner has too) it’s So rare, in fact, that we resort to ar- tongue-in-cheek. Of course I am all models staring back at us, or whether ways in which one has the capacity to over.  ey will probably fall asleep on mouring ourselves in suits of cyni- of these things. I have never, and will we are as happy as the couple that love their self. It cannot be the end of you. It will be sweaty and sticky in all cism. It makes sense. Without being never, claim to be otherwise. But that have just upgraded their broadband the relationship. the wrong ways, and you will want to too blunt about the whole thing, this is the case elucidates my point, provider. It only sells products to leave as quickly as possible. people can be shit. People can act which is that low self-esteem has be- some, but everyone buys the message You don’t want to be in the above carelessly, be entirely narcissistic, come far too commonly accepted and that we are not as happy as the beau- scenario with yourself. I would never or simply be hurtful. After hours appreciated by everyone around us, tiful people in the adverts. advise anyone to renounce their vi- spent agonising about what you may to the extent that ‘self-love’ becomes So we look for the things that dif- brator: reductive though I may be, I have done to warrant this, cynicism a joke. ferentiate us from them and, subse- WHY DOES IT STOP AT am no idiot. I sympathise hugely with becomes a way of saving face, and In popular culture, Justin Bieber quently, we become torturously in- ORGASM? WHY AREN’T I the line from Annie Hall in which thus we choose to feign a sense of uses ‘You should go and love yourself’ secure. To talk about self-love feels Alvy defends masturbating as the detachment. as an insult, while One Direction tell wildly aspirational in a culture that TAKING ME FOR BREAKFAST? only time he can have sex with some- Of course, I am guilty of this. And you that your most beautiful feature strives toward self-acceptance, with one he loves. My narcissism is so in lieu of living in a barrel on the is that ‘you don’t know you’re beauti- many falling short of even that. To pronounced that even when satiated Sidgwick Site declaring myself to be ful’. A logical rendering of these argu- love yourself, or even to display a  e fact is that we are all in rela- I am left asking whether I love myself Diogenes gone mad, what else does ments is that to love yourself is de- vague sense of satisfaction, is hard. tionships with ourselves.  is rela- enough. Why does it stop at orgasm? the modern cynic do other than dis- grading while to be insecure is to be I feel that before I go any further tionship is almost impossible to view Why aren’t I taking me for breakfast, trust? I consider myself a wizened desirable. Heaven forbid you retain in trying to talk with more sincerity objectively, for obvious reasons. I will or texting me to ask how my day is cynic, but this is translated from phi- any sense of self-worth unless Harry about a subject I relate to intimately, try to draw an example the only way I going, or wondering if I am thinking losophy to defence mechanism too Styles has approved it fi rst. I need to confront the fact that it may know how: an incriminating allegory about me? quickly. It may seem wise to resist the If only the kind of self-love I am sound like I’m talking about mastur- of a sexual nature. What I am trying to put across is temptation of lifting the smokescreen grasping for here were as easily bation. Not as unintentional as you Have you ever had sex with some- the complexity of the relationship we of self-deprecating humour and at- packaged as the sort you can buy at may assume (all rise for a haphaz- one who treated it like masturbation? have with ourselves. To learn to love tempted aloofness, but in navigat- Ann Summers, requiring only AAA ard prose style and digressive routes I hope you haven’t, but I have and I do something so frustrating and unpre- ing the relationship between how we batteries to reach rampant rap- through an argument), I believe there not recommend it. I vaguely remem- dictable as oneself is diffi cult, and present ourselves and our self-worth, ture. Unfortunately self-love doesn’t is some value in this confusion. ber hearing some aphorism about bad wherever we look there seems to be I may be just about ready to rescind sell quite so well as capitalising on If our understanding of self-love sex with people who are just using a no message saying you are worthy of my cynicism. WATERSPRITE 18 Culture Friday 26th February 2016

So, tell me about Watersprite. Original Film Music.  e Watersprite of industry executives, with the win- committee then brings these fi lm- ner bagging a free trip to Pinewood Watersprite is an international fi lm makers together in Cambridge for Studios. festival in Cambridge, run by students the festival weekend. So, we have with a two-part initiative: one part is fi lmmakers coming from Rwanda, Why should students get involved in an international short fi lm competi- Myanmar, South Africa, and even a Watersprite? tion for students and the other part is representative from Cuba. And the a weekend full of events, workshops fi lms are so interesting; a lot of them  e thing that makes Watersprite and panel discussions about the fi lm are only 15 minutes long, but you get unique is that it’s a completely free industry in general. a little snippet into what it’s like to festival; there are no submission PREVIEW: live in a diff erent political regime. fees for the fi lmmakers and all of It’s been running for seven years now; the events are free to go to. But also WATERSPRITE is there a theme that runs through And have you been in contact with you can learn so much from these all the festivals or is every festival fi lmmakers who have won awards at industry experts in a very intimate FESTIVAL diff erent? Watersprite in the past? environment, not only in terms of fi lmmaking, but also from a political I think all the festivals are diff erent, Will McGregor, the maker of a fi lm and ethical point of view. For exam- but what’s wonderful about this year’s called Who’s Afraid of a Water Sprite, ple, Marco Orsini is fl ying over from festival is that we’re basing it more entered and won ‘Film of the Year’ Monaco; he is the founder of the around women in the fi lm industry. at our very fi rst competition, which International Emerging Film Talent For example, both our galas have a inspired the name for the current Association and is holding a confer- broad focus on women both behind festival. He went on to secure funding ence at the Cannes Film Festival, and in front of the camera, with pro- from the BFI in collaboration with and he will be giving a talk about the ducer Finola Dwyer (recent BAFTA Watersprite patrons and trustees for ethics of documentary fi lmmaking, winner for Brooklyn) giving a Q&A his fi rst feature-length fi lm. Since having spent a lot of time in countries about her experience in the industry then he has directed TV shows, in- involved in the refugee crisis. He is a The Watersprite Festival for our Opening Gala. We have had cluding Channel 4’s Misfi ts, and even fascinating character and to be able to was founded in 2010 by a male keynote speaker most years, directed a really cool commercial for ask his point of view on so many top- so this year we wanted to emphasise the Super Bowl. And we supported ics is a really enriching experience. a group of Cambridge that the industry is not just made up last year’s Film of the Year winner students to recognise and of talented men, but focus on all the Niranjan Raj Bhetwal with the aim And, fi nally, do you see Watersprite reward emerging global women who do amazing things in of funding part of his fi lm about the expanding in the future? cinema. eff ect of the 2015 earthquake in his talent. Events run from the native Nepal. We’re already doing that bit by bit. 4th-6th March in various So, you said there’s two parts to the  is year we’ve launched a new award festival: the fi lm competition and the It seems like the festival has quite an called ‘Filmmaker of the Future’, in venues across the city, workshops. Tell me a bit about the international scope. Is there a lot of an attempt to recognise vaster fi lmic and can be booked on- fi lms that have been submitted and Cambridge involvement as well? talents. But, if it were possible from line on the ADC website. the judging process. a managerial point of view, we could Will Roberts  e Cambridge involvement is really expand the festival and possibly talks to fes-  is year has been really exciting, as where the events kick in. For example, have other Watersprites popping tival director Bernadette we’ve had a record number of submis- we have two events in particular up around the world. If we had Schramm about women sions, with 360 submissions from 55 aimed at fi lmmakers in Cambridge: Watersprites in other countries, and diff erent countries. All of these were ‘Script Lab’, where winners of our worked with foreign universities, then in fi lm, Nepalese fi lmmak- then judged, fi rstly by online judges ‘Script Lab’ competition receive tai- we could showcase the best student ers, and what this year’s and then by a live judging panel in lored advice on their scripts with top talent. Sundance have done it – why London, to make up a shortlist of four script developers, and ‘So You  ink not us? festival has to offer. nominees for each of our awards, You Can Pitch?’, where you pitch your which range from Best Fiction to Best idea in under two minutes to a panel Watersprite is on 4th-6th March.

entitled to make jokes about any Lad Bible, UniLad and the Tasteless subject that they like, but this does Gentlemen trade in to get the maxi- not mean that they should, or that we mum number of likes and shares. have to give them a platform. Some of Legitimising this kind of humour cre- Frankie Boyle’s jokes on sensitive top- ates an environment where women’s ics – such as pornography or female safety is put in jeopardy, and sexist masturbation – are genuinely funny. tropes and ideas are justifi ed.  ere is a reason why he is a success-

BBC ful comedian. However, part of this  e same argument can be made for is due to the shock factor. Watching other comedic shows in the me- Mock the Week, for instance, you can dia. Family Guy often toes the line clearly see that Boyle relies heavily between satire and off ensiveness, on swearing, insults and jokes on with jokes often focused on disabili- controversial topics. None of this is ties, self-harm, ethnic minorities and bad in and of itself.  e problem with paedophilia. One episode, however, this kind of off ensive comedy is that highlights just how problematic such it often targets the most marginalised humour can be. An episode in the groups in society. Take, for example, eighth season, entitled ‘Quagmire’s SARAH DORÉ the recent controversy surround- Dad’, deals with one of the protago- ing the ‘comedian’ Dapper Laughs. nists discovering and dealing with the Dapper Laughs became famous for a revelation that his father is actually series of short vines, before mak- a trans woman and is planning to NO LAUGHING ing the move to ITV 2 with a show transition.  e episode handles the entitled Dapper Laughs: On the Pull. issue appallingly, making multiple In this, he set himself up as a ‘dating transphobic and transmisogynist MATTER expert’, off ering advice to men on comments throughout the episode. how to attract women. His advice,  ese kinds of jokes have painful and however, was anything but helpful. real eff ects for transgender people, discusses what happens when Dapper’s version of comedy involved and transgender women in particu- comedy goes too far harassing, insulting and belittling lar. It is dehumanising, opening up multiple women, often using deroga- the possibility for prejudice and even tory or sexist language. violence against trans women.

 ere is nothing innovative in this. At its worst, this is what off ensive It is not new, exciting or unusual to comedy does; it punches down rather dismiss and belittle women. When than up, relying on tired stereotypes Dapper Laughs insults and degrades about the most vulnerable in society. hat counts as funny, and of these jokes have caused widespread women, he behaves in exactly the Good jokes either punch up or rely what counts as off ensive? off ence, and even demands in the same way as the men who shout at on other means to generate humour. W e line can often seem media for Boyle to apologise to those women in the street. He is engag- So many comedians from Charlie to be drawn very thinly between the he has insulted. Several of Boyle’s ing in the same kind of behaviour Brooker and Cameron Esposito to two, and more than one British come- jokes – including the infamous ones as the drunk ‘lads’ in Cindies who Amy Poehler and Tina Fey show how dian has recently become embroiled made about the Queen and Rebecca refuse to take no for an answer. He funny comedy can be when it’s not in controversy over the content of Adlington – have been investigated is perpetuating a culture in which degrading minority groups.  is is their jokes.  e obvious example here by the BBC to see if they breach ‘lads’ can make whatever jokes they the kind of comedy we should be cel- is Frankie Boyle, whose joke top- guidelines. Is such humour accepta- like about women, no matter how ebrating: smart, witty and genuinely ics have ranged from paedophilia to ble? Or can comedians go too far? On off ensive or sexist, and it is classed as funny.  e likes of Dapper Laughs Katie Price’s disabled son, and from the one hand, no one wants to limit ‘banter’. It is the same kind of humour and Frankie Boyle can’t compare to pornography to Jimmy Savile. Some free speech. Comedians are of course that Facebook pages such as  e that. Friday 26th February 2016 Culture 19

murder mystery set in a 14th-century for multiple interpretations, and the ANEFO monastery, where for seven (sym- delightful Six Walks in the Fictional WATERSPRITE bolic) days we follow the steps of friar Woods (1994), a collection of “wan- William of Baskerville (the Conan derings” through Agatha Christie all Doyle allusions are never far below the way to Little Red Riding Hood, the surface), as he moves against the about diff erent types of reading dramatic Alpine peaks with the confi - experiences. dence of a proto-Sherlock Holmes. Alongside his active academic and At the risk of spoiling the mystery journalistic career, Eco continued to of the title, the concept of “the name write novels at once intensely schol- of the rose” well illustrates one of arly and wildly popular. Foucault’s the central concerns of Eco’s entire Pendulum (1988) sketches a growing body of work: based on the verse of obsession with a conspiracy theory Bernard of Cluny’s De Contemptu of the protagonists’ own invention, Mundi “Stat rosa pristina nomine, involving a Knight Templar sect nomina nuda tenemus” (“Yesterday’s planning to take over the world. rose remains only in name, we hold Baudolino (2000), another histori- only naked names”), it is a useful ci- cal novel, is a picaresque narrative of pher for understanding the lesser- the life of a consummate liar, and a known branch of critical the- veritable encyclopaedia of the Middle ory that is semiotics, to Ages. More recently, Eco displayed an which Eco dedicated interest in modern history through the greater and e Prague Cemetery (2010), centred

GAROA self-reportedly on the fabrication of the anti-Semitic more “serious” pamphlet e Protocols of the Elders part of his of Zion.  e novel that would sadly intellectual be his last is Number Zero, published VITTORIA FORLITI endeavours. in 2015, a satirical look at Mussolini’s Essentially legacy and at the infamous bribery concerned scandals of the Italian 1990s. OBITUARY: with the study Umberto Eco has sometimes been of sign criticised for writing in an overly UMBERTO ECO dynam- journalistic or ostentatious style, as ics and well as for the hype surrounding his meaning, fi ction and public persona in Italy. I hen we consider a “Books are not made to be believed, semiotic will certainly remember him as the book, we mustn’t but to be subjected to inquiry...” theory tac- venerated intellectual whose arti- “Wask ourselves what it itly shapes cles about the value of studying the says but what it means” (from e the thinking classics our teachers used to declaim Name of the Rose). It is this very quest of many major quasi-religiously in class. But, above to unravel the literal, to decipher philosophers in all, Eco deserves to be remembered the “signs” of communication and the assumptions for what he has taught and still has culture, which runs through Umberto they make about the to teach us about our relation to the Eco’s prolifi c career as a writer of fl inching symbolic valence of world of symbols we inhabit. As we fi ction and philosophy, and as one of rigour after language. weave our way through our own the foremost European intellectuals his death at the universe of verbal and visual signs, of the age. Whether he was decoding age of 84 last week. As Professor of Semiotics at the Umberto Eco shows us that the quibbles of medieval theology, Joyce’s University of Bologna, some of his boundary between the symbolic and Ulysses, or such disparate phenomena Umberto Eco is perhaps best known seminal works of philosophy include the literal is often unstable, and the of mass culture as Charlie Brown and abroad for his debut novel, e Name e Open Work (1962) and e Role apparently literal and self-explanatory ACITUDFEM Italian TV personality cults, Umberto of the Rose (1980). Translated into 40 of the Reader (1979) which, follow- are often the most Eco’s clinical eye will not fail to languages and having sold more than ing Roland Barthes, defi ne the “open esoteric and arcane continue striking readers with its un- 10 million copies, this is a thrilling text” as one that inherently allows “signs” of them all. ANNA’S CULINARY CORNER

s much as I love food, it has only the straight variety.  e news leisurely buttering my croissants in sensors at US ports used to detect caused me its fair share of has sparked something of an outrage my artfully arranged beret with Edith smuggled nuclear material, and sud- Aheartbreak and disappoint- among French chefs and bakers. Piaf’s dreamy tones playing in the denly banana bread won’t be on the ment. Like any intense relationships, However, what the culinary geniuses background have been nothing but a top of your dessert list anymore. I I guess, our culinary aff airs have their are aghast at is not the shape itself lie. Buttered croissants, we’re never don’t like to admit it, but for a long ups and downs: we go to food for (the true form of the croissant is ever getting back together. time I restricted my banana intake comfort, shun it when it goes cold, a matter of debate) but the reason to one a day in an eff ort to avoid a fantasise and indulge in its many behind Tesco’s decision: the super- Deadly bananas premature death. pleasures… You get the point – I’ll market argues that straight croissants leave the analogy at that. I’ve certainly are easier for the British to cover in It’s not all disillusionment and pain, Doing your research suff ered a lot of food-related heart- butter and jam. though. On the rare occasion, my ache – thankfully not yet of the literal food fears have turned out to be un- However, doing a clever thing called artery clogging variety.  ere was my The jam debate founded and I’ve been reunited with using reliable sources reveals that discovery of low-fat hummus that culinary ex-lovers. Most recently, you’d have to munch your way

BEGEMOT revealed that standard hummus was But what’s the problem with that, this happened with bananas (nothing through 400 bananas a day to reach not the epitome of healthy eating I I hear you ask. Take a deep breath Freudian going on here, I promise!). levels risking cardiac arrest. Even to had envisaged but was in fact a rather and make sure you’re sitting stead- Type into Google any combination of reach your daily recommended intake calorifi c snack option.  ere was ily: jam and butter on croissants ‘banana’, ‘safe’, and ‘too many’, maybe of potassium (for a healthy person, the revelation that, while fl avoured are a defi nite non non in la cuisine throwing in ‘potassium’ for good kidney disease is a diff erent story, yoghurts may well have some calcium française. Richard Bertinet, the measure and you’ll be treated with sorry), you need at least seven and in them, they’re also packed with Bath-based French baker of Bertinet riveting hits ranging from the blue- a half bananas. So, while I may have sugar, and don’t get me started on the Bakery fame, seems genuinely puz- eyed ‘Is it safe to eat four bananas lost my buttered and jammed-up not-so-innocent Innocent smooth- zled by the butter debacle: “I don’t a day?’ to the rather more morbid croissants, I’m enjoying getting back ies. A lot of this comes down to the understand that. A croissant is full of ‘How many bananas does it take to together with bananas. In yoghurt, preaching and myths that surround butter already,” he commented to the kill you?’ (don’t even mention the porridge, muffi ns, on their own – this all things culinary. Guardian. Another French chef, Jean- cyanide in apple seeds saga). Now, ba- is a culinary reunion to be celebrated. Christophe Novelli, was also far from nanas are a solid source of potassium, Curvy croissants pleased: “A croissant is something which, like so many chemical ele- Yes, things can get tumultuous when that you dip into a bowl of chocolate ments, is essential to life but lethal in dealing with all the hype, paranoia In fact, the latest blow didn’t come in or coff ee. But never in my whole life extremely high doses (cardiac arrest and rights and wrongs that surround the form of yet another supposedly have I met someone from France would be the way to go in this case). food. But with food, as in life, there healthy food favourite turning out to who eats a croissant with jam.” And With potassium chloride featuring in comes a point of ‘who cares?’. I’ve got be bad company but as a realisation with this, part of my life shattered: I’d US lethal injections, it’s no wonder my bananas back, and maybe one day of how I’d been doing it all wrong. thought the French were the sort of that there is so much banana-induced I’ll proudly top my croissants with Last week, Tesco announced that people who believed in the more-but- fear around; add to this the fact that jam and butter. Or even peanut but- it would be discontinuing its curvy ter-better-pastries dogma. But instead bananas, precisely because of their ter. But that might be too daring for croissants and from now on selling it turns out that all the times I’ve been potassium content, may trigger now at least. 20 Culture Friday 26th February 2016 IN BRIEF: OSCARS PICKS

Naomi Sutton on all you need to know about this year’s Oscar nominations A24 FILMS OPEN ROAD FILMS 20TH CENTURY FOX 20TH CENTURY 20TH CENTURY FOX 20TH CENTURY FOX 20TH CENTURY PARAMOUNT PICTURES PARAMOUNT

01 02 03 04 05 06 ROOM SPOTLIGHT THE MARTIAN THE BIG SHORT THE REVENANT BROOKLYN

 is indie drama follows Spotlight was almost Eff ectively a two-hour Skype Banking is not always the  e Revenant has momen- Lacking the impact of its the trials of Joy and her certainly conceived with a call where Matt Damon most glamorous of topics tum behind it from the BAF- peers, Brooklyn recounts the son Jack inside the shed gold-plated britannium glint never hangs up,  e Mar- on fi lm, but  e Big Short is TAs and Golden Globes, and tale of an Irish immigrant’s formally known as ‘room’, in director Tom McCarthy’s tian is charming, exhilarat- just glossy enough to make has the statuette to lose. It experiences in, unsurpris- which lies commonplace in eye.  e fi lm checks the ing and signifi cantly less of it interesting for its runt- follows Hugh Glass, played ingly, Brooklyn. Undoubt- the back yard of the man boxes of a dedicated array of a migraine than comparable ime. Eff ectively a two-hour by Leonardo DiCaprio who, edly helped by not having who lured her into impris- famous actors to parade and space fl ick Interstellar. documentary,  e Big Short after the infamous bear to feign an Irish accent, an onment years before. It is preaching on a controversial Mark Watney, a botanist, follows various investors mauling, is left to fend for understated yet powerful eff ectively a snow globe with topic, this time paedophilia is stranded on Mars and who bet ‘against’ the banks himself in an unforgiving performance from Saoirse the glass blacked out, the in the Catholic Church.  e naturally documents his in predicting the housing glacial environment. Simple Ronan makes all the diff er- turmoil of comprehending a most irritating aspect of relationship with his new market crash that occurred revenge storytelling at heart, ence. A fi lm with as much life outside is exceptionally its obvious baiting is that residence. in 2008. Containing mixed  e Revenant is a long and gentle soul as Brooklyn is al- acted and directed with an Spotlight is actually a neat performances, with the arduous trek, visually stun- ways a gratifying experience, immersing elegance. Stress- and exceptional fi lm. It lacks With a highly likeable exception of Christian Bale, ning and the antithesis to if not as memorable as some ful, engaging and manging the visual glow of some of performance from Matt  e Big Short is not quite as the plot-driven, intricate of its fellow nominees. to avoid the Anakin-curse by the other competitors but it Damon, and signifi cant plot shocking as it would like. dialogue of fi lms such as creating a sympathetic and remains story-telling at its points that revolve around Solid direction and a sharp Spotlight. Like contracting While it lacks the lasting im- multi-faceted child pro- fi nest. It might be damaged potatoes,  e Martian script do give it an edge, chickenpox,  e Revenant pression to win, it certainly tagonist who isn’t entirely by the fact that it’s exactly retains a consensus of being however, meaning that is a fi lm that can only really carries the merits to deserve irritating, Room thoroughly the fi lm one would expect not only an excellent fi lm  e Big Short deserves the be experienced once. Not to be considered. deserves to win. to win, especially given the but one that stands out unintentionally demeaning quite as good as you’d expect victory of the unorthodox among the other nominees. title of dark horse in this but memorable enough to Birdman last year. year’s race. deserve to win.

he Brit Awards: British art- reinvention, even if it did come at the Rihanna’s lighting technician deserves exists to recognise the most com- ists upstaged at their own expense of Kendrick Lamar. It was some credit here; her perform- mercially successful artists of the Tparty. Another year, another also a delight to see Björk, and ance looked great on TV and its last twelve months it’s no surprise to February punctuated by an array of her wonderful headgear, win thoroughly modern feel sup- see Adele mopping up given that 25 self-congratulatory awards ceremo- the corresponding female plemented the gyrating beat is still sitting pretty at the top of the nies. On Wednesday night it was the award. It’s worth noting of ‘Work’. Drake’s sexually album chart three months after its turn of the Brits: the annual oppor- that in the international charged appearance dur- release. It was fi tting that her (heavily tunity for the great and the good of categories the nominees ing the song managed bleeped) acceptance speeches went the British music industry to unite for were far more racially ALEX MISTLIN to stay just the right uninterrupted, not only because she an evening of back-slapping, brown- diverse. side of creepy and in was so rudely cut off in 2012 but nosing and casual racism. However, all it was a highly suc- also because she is single-handedly if one viewed the show with suffi - While this can in part THE BRIT cessful return to our responsible for the rude health of the ciently low expectations, the uneasy be explained by the screens for Rihanna. British Music Industry. combination of exciting live per- comparatively high Moreover, the deci- formances, light entertainment and profi le of US artists, it’s AWARDSALEX MISTLIN sion to allow Drake’s  e most signifi cant portion of the touching tributes was defi nitely worth a shame that the Brits fellow Canadian night, though, were the moving (if watching. Conventional Brits wisdom seemed more like a artist,  e Weeknd, to repetitive) tributes to the late David dictates that the real interest isn’t to celebration of America’s On how British artists were upstaged showcase his unique Bowie. In particular, Gary Oldman’s be found in the winners or nominees vibrant urban music at their own party brand of dead-eyed soul declaration that “the world lost a themselves. Particularly with regard scene than our own. In on Primetime ITV was man, an artist of transcendent talent” to the British categories, 2016 was no response to widespread a masterstroke. His short added a touch of class to proceedings. exception.  ere were no surprises on criticism a Brits spokes- performance of ‘ e Hills’  e eulogies were followed by a med- a night that saw James Bay pip the ex- person said that “ e artists was cheerily uncensored and ley of Bowie hits performed by the as- cellent Jamie XX to Best British Male who are honoured tend to be its chorus of “I only fuck you tute pairing of his backing band (who Solo Artist. Moreover, I’m almost em- those who have achieved the very when it’s half-past fi ve” provided last performed together in 2004) with barrassed for Coldplay, whose fourth highest levels of chart success.”  is the provocative edge that the night Lorde, who last year Bowie himself award for Best British Group came as is simply not good enough. How can was desperately lacking. anointed “the future of music”. no surprise to anyone, least of all the British BME artists achieve signifi - bands themselves. cant commercial success when their Coldplay’s ‘Hymn to the Weekend’ In reality, the sole ray of light from a While her undeniable talent allowed own industry’s awards show refuses provided a suitably bombastic open- British perspective was the imperious her to do justice to an emotional ren-  ankfully, the international awards to acknowledge their existence? ing, the British contingent passed in Adele. In total, she won four awards: dition of ‘Life on Mars’, it’s a shame were altogether more interesting. a blur of James Bay and Jess Glynne’s Global Success and British Female, that it added to the sense that this Justin Bieber’s award for International Once again, the live performances nostalgic 90s dance pop. In light of Single and Album. No one can deny current generation of British artists Male Solo Artist was thoroughly were the truly memorable aspect this, it was left to the Americans to that she deserves her success. At an lacks the originality to do David deserved given the success of his of the show. Unfortunately, while inject some adrenaline into the event. awards show that predominantly Bowie’s legacy justice. YOUTUBE: BRITS The VarsiTy crypTic crossword Set by Genie

Across 1. Happy British girl (5) 8. Strange drip on tie. Damnation! (9) 9. Fish in corner (5) 10. 300 Belgian Committee Applications for the Mays XXIV are Now Open! bombs enclosed in container for 'The Mays’ is an annual anthology showcasing the best of Cambridge & Oxford’s student vegetable (7) writing, artwork and creative pursuits. This year’s Editor has been appointed but there’s 11. Sound of King still plenty of roles left to fill on the committee for The Mays 2016! in hysterics (7) 12. Money for See below for the list of available roles and If there's a role you don't see but think you treats (7) could help with? Then go ahead and drop us an application anyway. Get your 16. Analyse applications in by Sunday 28th February at noon with a copy of your CV and a cover sporting event on letter (no more than one side of A4 in PDF format). the radio (7) Please provide details of the following: 17. I start to blub loudly in shout for  The position you're applying for brother (7)  Your previous relevant experience 20. Wicked  Your year, course and other commitments relation with arrogant aspects 5. Game played in dance following quiet (7) [email protected] (7) 6. Bread is pain in the ass (4) 22. Condemn Bishop who can’t walk (5) Available Positions: 7. Opposite within poetry (7) 13. Prisoner with partial tic is close (8)  Publicity (Campaigns, stunts, hard media) 24. Shelter marks City (5) 14. Overhang in rocky road is helpful (7) 23. Be so close to horrific annihilation (9)  Social Media (Management, online publicity campaigns, content) 15. Massage girl with disease (7)  Events (Fundraisers, open mic, mingles, coffee and collaborate, drinks nights, Down 18. Racket made by infant learner (5) book launch) 1. Sauce eaten on mountain (5) 19. Abrupt guest has second thought (5) .  Web Editor (Website management, creation, collaboration with design team) 2. Self-seekers, intoxicated, judge drinks (8) 21 Clansmen regularly have argument (4) 3. Talk to son at the top (5)  Design (Publicity artwork, book design, campaign and brand continuity)  Arts administration (Communications, assisting the editor, organisation, ideas) Please submit answers to (13) [email protected]. 4. Inelegant prayer without a bit of finesse 22 Features Friday 26th February 2016

ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS

An anonymous student describes his experience of dealing with alcoholism at university

he ‘cause’ of alcoholism has his has some potentially disturb- drinking after 7pm; and only drinking to do so after I was discharged. I was not be able to stay sober for the rest long puzzled doctors, psy- ing implications for students at the socially. hese resolutions worked for introduced to alcoholics who had of my life. T chiatrists, priests and laymen. University of Cambridge. Many of us a time but eventually I broke all one recovered from their condition and A consensus is emerging within the have had little or no exposure to ad- of them. In my second year, alcohol who had not had a drink or drug in he format of AA meetings varies. scientiic community that part of the dictive substances before we begin at was a ixture in my daily routine. many years. I told them about my Sometimes a sober member of the answer is genetic. he results of brain university. But within hours of being After a day in the library I had to drinking pattern and how I had ar- organisation will tell his or her story. studies in the 1990s suggest that for a dropped of by Mum and Dad we are have three cans of Strongbow in the rived at AA. hey told me that I was Sometimes there is a general discus- certain proportion of the population, exposed to one of the most addictive evening to unwind. deinitely an alcoholic, based on the sion. Why these meetings have such consumption of alcohol, or another of them all: alcohol. We are therefore symptoms I described. hey then a powerful efect is something of a addictive drug, triggers a unique in a position similar to that of the US he obvious answer was to quit told me that if I continued attend- mystery. Part of the answer is that reaction. Unusually high levels of service personnel in Vietnam. We are drinking entirely. his I vowed to do ing AA meetings and followed the they enable identiication. he alco- activity in the midbrain produce a exposed to a drug that for some of us at the beginning of my third year. I programme of recovery known as the holic newcomer is able to hear stories craving sensation. he individual will change our lives irrevocably. also began to see a private counsel- ‘Twelve Steps’, I would never need to which resemble his or her own. his then develops a mental obsession lor, to whom my college referred me. drink again. Like them, I could stay makes it easy for the individual to with the substance, which requires He told me to abstain from alcohol sober indeinitely. relate to the other members of the him to seek more and more of it. completely until such a point as we group. It is often said that no one can discovered the ‘root cause’ of my relate to an alcoholic as can another his genetic predisposition seems to drinking. His theory was that there alcoholic. his is surely the basis of apply to about 10 per cent of people. I WAS INCAPABLE OF must have been some traumatic AA’s success. he addiction specialist David event in my childhood, the memory Smallwood gives this igure in his STAYING AWAY FROM of which compelled me to drink so NO ONE CAN RELATE 21 AA meetings take place each week book Who Says I’m an Addict, pub- heavily. TO AN ALCOHOLIC LIKE in Cambridge. Anyone who thinks lished in 2014. He cites an interest- ALCOHOL ON MY OWN they may have a problem with alcohol ing example to make his case, which What neither of us realised was that I ANOTHER ALCOHOLIC can simply turn up at one of these. makes clear the distinction between was by this stage incapable of staying physical dependency and addiction. away from alcohol on my own will- On Friday night there is a meeting During the war in Vietnam, between My Freshers’ Week began with Pub power for any signiicant period of speciically for young people. Several one-quarter and one-third of US Golf, in which merely by purchasing time. For the irst few weeks of term undergraduate and postgraduate stu- service personnel used heroin, many the ticket I was entitled to one pint I managed to abstain on weekdays, I spent the remainder of that academ- dents at the University of Cambridge becoming physically dependent. of Guinness, two Jägerbombs, and only to drink myself unconscious on ic year doing what was suggested. attend this. If you are considering AA discounts on my irst three vodka weekends. By November I could not I went to AA meetings in London but would like to meet other students However, when the war inished, mixers. I enjoyed myself tremen- manage even this. I would resolve and began working the ‘Twelve in the organisation irst, this is the around 90 per cent of these discon- dously but ended up drinking more freshly each Monday to stay sober for Steps’, as they are set out in the book meeting to attend. It takes place in tinued their habit once they had de- than intended. he following night I the week, only to end up drunk by Alcoholics Anonymous, published in the Friends’ Meeting House, 12 Jesus toxed from the substance and did not tried to limit myself to three drinks Tuesday or Wednesday night. 1939, from which the organisation Lane and starts at 7.15pm. Details of use it again once back on American but proved unable to do so. his hap- takes its name. My mental obsession other meetings can be found on the soil. It was the remaining 10 per cent, pened the following night. And the It was clear to friends and tutors with alcohol was quickly alleviated, AA website. who continued to use the drug for the night after that, and the night after that I was in grave physical danger. so that I could be around it (for in- rest of the lives, which Smallwood that. Mercifully, my college allowed me to stance in bars and pubs) and yet have he author of this article has asked identiies as sufering from the dis- intermit my studies and sent me to no urge to consume it. to remain anonymous. However, they ease of addiction. hey had a genetic Very soon I was incapable of drink- a detox centre in London. It was at are happy to answer queries. If you predisposition that meant that they ing moderately. My irst two years this point that I was introduced to I have not had a drink since intermit- have any questions about the content were vulnerable to becoming drug at Cambridge were characterised Alcoholics Anonymous (AA). ting from Cambridge in November of this article, or about anything else addicts before the drug was irst by diferent attempts to control 2014. Provided I continue to go to to do with alcoholism or AA, please administered. my consumption of alcohol. I tried I began attending AA meetings while meetings and to work on the ‘Twelve email cambridgeaaqueries@gmail. implementing a weekly quota; only inside the detox centre and continued Steps’, there is no reason why I will com Friday 26th February 2016 Features 23

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hinking of eating disorders something so outwardly irrational, here are so many ways in which vomiting copious amounts of black and loneliness. It produces disparity conjures images of painful and not think their way out of going to university can be a chal- blood after damaging my stomach, and intensity, along with encourag- Tthinness, starvation and go- their mental illness? he refusal lenging experience. Compared to when I was reminded of the fragility ing perfectionism and lengthy pe- ing to any lengths to avoid eating. of others to accept something that the sort of great time we think we of recovery and decided to seek riods of isolation interspersed with didn’t make sense at face value, and ‘ought’ to be having the minute support. vibrant social functions which often For many people, including a their disregarding the emotional as we arrive in a new environment, revolve around food and drink. proportion of health professionals, invalid, ultimately led to me being the reality for many students is eating disorders are represented by denied any specialist treatment for that adjusting is a struggle. How he tradition of formal hall is an anorexia nervosa and the proile of six years (despite having a terri- reassuring it is to discover that you especially exclusive one; the institu- a middle-class, young white female. ble quality of life and high level of aren’t the only one inding it hard to tional focus on eating and drinking However, people who experience an physical risk during this time). he meet people, feeling an imposter or means that a signiicant number of eating disorder and are diagnosed personal costs were huge. grappling with keeping up with the THESE PROBLEMS NEED TO people experiencing eating problems with anorexia are actually in the demands of your course. It can seem BE ON THE UNIVERSITY’S potentially face barriers to participa- minority. Increasingly, suferers are Despite having stopped attending as though everyone around you is tion. hese events are currently a more likely to be male, diagnoses school, by the end of my A-levels hitting the ground running and hav- RADAR GOING FORWARD hugely important part of Cambridge are seen earlier than ever before I had a place at Cambridge to read ing the times of their lives, but there life in terms of making connections, and people are maintaining or even Music. I never took it up. With each are invisible struggles, people whose engaging in intellectual discussion developing eating disorders well into deferred year that passed without inner reality is a stark contrast to and having a sense of belonging. later life. the support I needed, my eating their outer appearance. Despite not hearing anything about problems became more and more mental health in the lengthy induc- If the university is serious about If we make assumptions about the entrenched, and my attempts to seek his disparity is also a hallmark of tions at the start of the year (but inclusiveness then it must consider types of people who struggle with help failed. I was ‘too unwell’ for those mental health problems which plenty about bike thefts and Wii the huge challenges that that such eating problems, then we are at the treatment available: a ‘diicult’ thrive on the combination of being access), I’ve found that excellent central traditions might pose to the risk of making it more diicult for patient. Rather than these being hidden, major life changes and social support exists in the university, from signiicant and growing number of suferers to see their often hidden compelling reasons for treatment, isolation, and so it is no surprise tutors and nurses to the Disability people with eating problems, and experiences as real for them. his the withholding of support under- that new students are especially Resource Centre and Counselling think seriously about their place in only helps maintain the shame and mined my sense of what was real vulnerable to deteriorations in their Service. I would encourage anyone the present day. stigma that often goes hand in hand and destroyed any hope of recovery. mental health. Making the transition with current or past experience of with eating problems and prevents to university is widely recognised eating problems to think more than Eating Disorders Awareness Week people from accessing the support to be an especially diicult time I did about the challenges of univer- this year focuses on eating disorders they need. for people who have experienced sity life and not be as ashamed as I in the workplace, promoting aware- eating problems. here are near- felt for many years to seek help. ness and reducing the stigma and When I developed anorexia nervosa, perfect conditions for maintaining discrimination faced by people with people around me found it hard to UNIVERSITY IS A DIFFICULT disordered eating and every reason here is so much on ofer more eating problems in their day-to-day recognise the cause of my shock- for needing something to rely on in widely to tend to your wellbeing, occupations. With the highest mor- ingly thin appearance for what it was TIME FOR PEOPLE WITH the midst of so much pressure and from exercise classes to mindfulness tality of any mental health problem – not an underlying physical health uncertainty. meditation, with the most impor- and an often ‘all-consuming’ and problem but a deep psychological EATING PROBLEMS tant thing being to do what works debilitating nature, eating disorders disease rooted in an array of predis- Having been through a recovery and for you, irrespective of feeling the are a serious and complex concern. positions and life experiences. Surely being well-versed in the support and need to conform to traditions and I couldn’t ‘want’ to look as thin as skills needed to be well, I still had timetables or any particular student Living with an eating disorder and females with anorexia, because that he eating disorder could always be a major relapse into bulimia after lifestyle. the process of recovery are enough, body image isn’t upheld as an ideal relied on, even if it came with the coming to Cambridge in October. without additional barriers to work- for males. Perhaps my presentation cost of having to withdraw from a Instead of meeting people or engag- he struggle with eating problems ing and engagement. could better be explained by another degree, losing friends or ending up ing with my course, things quickly isn’t conined to those arriving at diagnosis – or even several diag- in hospital. Making the choice to became about living between trips university for the irst time either. As he existence of these problems noses – because a boy with an eating replace a way of regulating diicult to Sainsbury’s and spending hours well as being a centre of academic needs to be very much on the radar disorder must be an inherently more emotions with a more positive way on end in my darkened room eating excellence, providing great oppor- of the university going forward if complex case than a girl. of being has been a daily decision: until the pain of fullness was allevi- tunities for learning, working and people with eating disorders are not one which step-by-step has enabled ated by vomiting. Getting back on growing as a person, Cambridge to be disadvantaged in their occupa- Also, how could an intelligent me to come to Cambridge eight track only happened following a can provide just as much in terms of tion as a result of ill health. person be overwhelmed with years later. sobering time in Addenbrooke’s, and extreme pressure, lack of direction 24 Fashion Friday 26th February 2016

ocial media is all around us – also created new types of fashion and happened to me this term, which fully Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, popularity. Remember the dress last exemplifi ed the role of social media in SSnapchat… the list is endless. It year – was it ‘blue and black’ or ‘white our lives. Getting ready for half way provides a platform to help us con- and gold’? After the mass popular- hall, I was conscious of not wearing a nect with the world around us and ity on social media, it became an dress I had already worn for a formal, makes up a fi rm part of the younger explosion and a fashion statement on pictures of which had been posted on generation’s lives. But the eff ects that websites in hours. Clearly what social Facebook and Instagram. To avoid the social media has had on the fashion media enables is time and effi ciency. stigma of appearing as if I only had industry have been quite profound. Rather than waiting for the latest one choice of dress, I chose some- Social media is a new powerful catwalk design or new clothing range thing diff erent, but the entire thought marketing tool, which has the abil- from a high street store, as consum- process made it clear how important ity to shape our behaviour and our ers we can simply turn to our smart our choices are now within the world consumer habits. It also enables us phones and browse Instagram for of social media. to connect with the rest of the world, the latest ideas and inspiration, or creating networks of a global scale. look to Facebook and observe what Additionally, social media almost our friends were wearing at the latest functions as a form of unoffi cial and In many ways social media has the party or club for ideas. Not only this, free advertising, although companies ability to change the fashion indus- but social media has also enabled us can pay for advertisements on social EMILY FISHMAN try – we are all ‘fast’ consumers, we to share our ideas and inspiration. media – the main marketing strategy desire the latest trend immediately. ultimately comes through us. We as For example, at this week’s London consumers are responsible for our Fashion Week show Burberry have own fashion choices and social media FASHION AND just announced that instead of wait- is able to publicise this. Social media ing weeks or months for people to puts life into fashion; the everyday SOCIAL MEDIA be able to purchase their designs, becomes part of the fashion world; because of the added pressure of THE EVERYDAY BECOMES PART an Instagram photo drinking coff ee social media, they have decided as with a Cambridge satchel, a Facebook on the impact of modern technology a company to release their fashion OF THE FASHION WORLD selfi e wearing a Topshop top, or a to the masses as soon as the models tweet regarding purchasing a new on traditional practices set foot off the runway.  is is quite Ted Baker dress. unprecedented, and shows the speed at which we as consumers participate Yet at the same time social media has Social media sustains our growing in social media and the entire process placed more pressure on the world demand and consumption, while at of consumption. of fashion.  ere is more embarrass- the same time altering the process of ment in being seen in the same outfi t our consumer habits and speeding up  e ‘age of the selfi e’ has not just twice and more attention paid to what how people view the world of fashion. enabled us to share fashion but has you are wearing. A similar experience

INSTAGRAM: FASHION FRIEND OR FOE?

Laura Day explores the positives and negatives of the new wave of #instafashion

owadays, most of the world underestimated in such circum- and easy, and allows instant global While Instagram may remain a appears to have Instagram. stances when, just by the simple tap presence, despite being sat in the place of inspiration, it can also be NWhether it be for personal of a fi nger on screen, and image can heart of bustling London, or hidden the location of the darker under- or professional use, the hashtag be shared between hundreds more in the Scottish mountains.  e belly of the fashion world. If you has expanded in use, and fi lters people. humble phone camera has quickly search for the hashtag ‘#ed’, thou- suddenly make beautiful landscapes become the passport to Instafame, sands of images of thin girls and even more dreamlike than they  is week, as London Fashion Week and allows connectivity between guys suddenly pop up. actually are.  e search tool allows plays out, my Instagram feed is full Facebook, Twitter, and many more any user, anywhere in the world, to of images from the women work- social media outlets.  ere’s no Photos of models on catwalks also search a specifi c hashtag, drawing ing at Tatler, Vogue, and Glamour room to hide. appear, with critical captions from up a plethora of photos related to magazines. Instagram allows me the users, chastising them for their the word. Search ‘#beach’ and you’ll chance to catch a glimpse into their But maybe this is the problem. weight and appearance. Instagram be overwhelmed with images from star-studded lives, from the comfort Once a photo has been posted, is a dangerous game to play at Australia’s Gold Coast, the white of my own college room. and the hashtags carefully crafted, times, and this darker edge is the sands of Hawaii and, of course, the there is no room to go back. Almost reason why. obligatory thousands of pictures I needn’t be front row at Mulberry instantly, the photo will be viewed of men and women clad in skimpy England’s runway show – I can in- and liked, not only by your friends, So the next time you’re on bathing suits. stead spend an essay break looking but also by complete strangers from Instagram, think about what you’re at Alexandra Shulman’s (Editor of all corners of the globe. posting, and the implications of it. But is Instagram a fashion friend, or Vogue UK) Instagram feed. a fashion fi end? In one sense, it’s a Because of the anonymity of Want to post an image of you in a free international platform through For wannabe designers, models, Instagram profi les, who knows who bikini at the beach? Go for it, but which a designer can exhibit their and fashion critics, Instagram is a is looking at the images, and to do spare a thought for who may be work to the entire world.  e favourite haunting ground. Building what end? viewing it, and what hashtag you’ve power of social media cannot be up a social media profi le is safe used to get them there. Friday 26th February 2016 Fashion 25

REPOST TILL YOU DROP

Ana Persinaru looks at the evolution of the hashtag

m, so, I guess this is it. Hi, my Like many celebrities, shops and one Instagram post featuring her sees store in Manhattan (talk about chic) campaign. A line-up of smiling, name is Ana and I’m addicted fashion brands now use the far- 50 per cent more reddened hearts to launch the new line of the already toned, Amazonian-looking models Uto shopping. What’s worse, reaching and customisable powers of and, with strong high street com- popular Daisy fragrances. Customers just in lingerie sat atop the hashtag social media made me do it! social media platforms to keep their petitors like Zara and H&M, Mango who came in could tweet and inviting other women to try on the existing fans in the loop and reward sneaks into the lead in terms of cool Instagram about the collection with bra collection and fi nd their perfect Like the rest of us, the fi rst thing their loyalty as well as to increase points just by merging with the social the incentive of free gifts, including fi t for their #PerfectBody. Or at least I do before going to bed or after their numbers.  ink of it as a virtual media royalty that is the Kardashian perfumes, jewellery and accessories. this is what the intention was. waking up is scroll through all my army of disciples, ready to pounce on clan. Naturally, this resulted in 13,500 social media platforms. All of them. every online sale preview, giveaway mentions on Twitter and 4,300 ‘grams It created a social media frenzy with Pinterest, Tumblr, Instagram, Twitter, competition and the like. And who – a veritable social media takeover sizeable backlash at the disregard of Facebook…the list goes on. And wouldn’t? and great ‘word of mouth’ public- body types other than the ‘VS angel’ what I always see is beautiful fl atlays, ity. And while we’re on the topic of and implied fat-shaming. Explanatory #ootds and, more recently, snap- While an advert in Vogue or Instagram I’ll just mention the cool and apologetic press releases followed chats of poised models parading the Cosmopolitan would set back a pretty THERE ARE MANY TRAPS TO way in which Nine West made every but the post was out for everyone to crème de la crème of haute couture sum off any publicist’s budget, post- girl’s dream of becoming a bonafi de see and to judge the lack of Mattel- at London Fashion Week that make ing regular, fun content on Instagram BE AWARE OF model true by having Instagram posts style revamp. me yearn for a luxuriously fashion- or Facebook is the cheapest and most of their customers wearing their able lifestyle. Retail is funny like that; eff ective way of promoting a brand. shoes digitally displayed in-store. Love it or hate it, fashion social media it makes you want to buy into an But even so, there are some cam- is here to stay and likely to take over ideal lifestyle that, admittedly, makes paigns that stand out from the boring However, there are many traps to be not just your Instagram, but Snapchat you very happy, if only temporarily, tweeted links and mannequin posts. Another example demonstrating the aware of in this social media game. and Twitter too. I suggest you save and social media is proving to be the reign of the almighty hashtag and 33 million followers come with great up, go out and get hashtagging. You perfect marriage between business One of them is Mango’s S/S 2016 clever promotion is the Marc Jacobs responsibility and a huge comments never know, you might win a Marc and aesthetics. campaign featuring Kendall Jenner campaign during New York Fashion section, as Victoria’s Secret found out Jacobs competition or star in the next that took Instagram by storm. Just Week.  ey had opened a pop-up last season during the #PerfectBody Burberry YouTube video… YOUTUBE: MARC JACOBS

INSTAGRAM IN NUMBERS 68% OF USERS ARE WOMEN $1bn THE DEATH OF THE SELFIE? Louis Ashworth muses on the future of a generation’s SALE PRICE TO FACEBOOK IN 2013 favourite medium

n fashion and social media, smartphones began to adopt proper world of Instagram models – care- 96% there’s nothing worse than being front-facing cameras. fully prepared and posed images OF US FASHION Itrite. Look through the history of passed off as spur-of-the-moment the internet, and watch prominent Nowadays, the little camera snaps. BRANDS THAT USE IT themes rise and fall – if everybody watching you as you fl ick through is doing something, that probably Facebook has millions of megapix- So will they ever die? Selfi e fatigue means it’s time to stop. els, and bests the camera phones of might set in, and someday this cur- 3.5m a few years ago. rently popular fashion trend may MOST LIKED PHOTO So how will the selfi e fare?  e seem clichéd. IN 2015, OF MODEL ubiquitous personal self-shot, which Everybody takes selfi es – your saw its birth in a cascade of bath- mum, your dad, a monkey, and Kim When that happens, who knows KENDALL JENNER room mirrors and duckfaces, found Kardashian. Most prominently, self- what the next big format for social its great utility revolution when ies dominate the pseudo-personal media fashion will be? 26 eatre Friday 26th February 2016 THE NIGHT HERON

Eleanor Costello drops in on a rehearsal

ithin minutes of meet- “It’s full of symbolism, it’s full of crazy home. When I read it I just couldn’t characters and also their other ing the cast of e things, and it’s very funny. It’s a play understand her, but now that we’ve characters. You can’t really think I picked this play because when I Night Heron, they led that you won’t see anywhere else. been going through her character about all of the characters’ headspace read it, nothing about it felt inevi- me into a dark, dingy It was written by Jez Butterworth; development I can understand where when you’re reading it, but when table. Everything felt like a shock or cellarW and started taking their kit off . people will know his other stuff like she’s coming from. In a way that’s a you’ve got people defending their surprise, and you were on the edge of I was hoping to expose many details Jerusalem and Mojo.  is was his bit worrying, because if you see what corner because they are playing this your seat when you were reading it, of the production, but I’d uncovered second play, written in 2002, and it she does in the play you think that her character it’s a lot easier to see the and I want to bring that to the stage. I far more than I’d anticipated. I was hasn’t been performed very often. actions aren’t particularly justifi ed. diff erent sides of the story. And that’s felt like if I was going to direct a play assured that this was not the norm It’s set in Cambridge, so it shouldn’t She’s just come out of prison and she opened it up to playing a story that’s it has to be something that makes for every rehearsal; today they were be something that’s unfamiliar to us. has a past, and she gets up to some really multi-faceted. And funny! It’s people think, not something that trying on their costumes.  ey were a  e things that they say and the jokes shenanigans in the play. defi nitely funny.” you just watch and it doesn’t aff ect weird assortment of outfi ts - a police that they make about Cambridge you when you leave the theatre. It costume, willies, pyjamas, a tight will make people laugh, but also I ask what Naomi thinks about the presents a world that’s very shocking.” black mini skirt, and an old lady’s wonder about their role in it all, as Cambridge theatre scene.  is is coat. Everyone was very shifty when- students who are on the other side of usually when directors launch into Is there a message that she wants ever I asked them about the plot of it.  ere’s defi nitely a separation be- a gushing speech about how much the audience to take away? “I don’t the play, mumbling something about tween town and gown, and here we’re they love all of the productions at want to put particular thoughts in dark comedy. At one point a seeming- considering a story of people that EVERY TIME I THINK the ADC, but again Naomi sur- their mind, but I defi nitely want them ly random man turned up to ask if we see in college but we never prises me. “With a lot of stories, like to be aff ected by it, and that comes they still needed him to appear, really hear about. I really like ABOUT IT, IT’S DIFFERENT Shakespeare and the classics that are from being immersed by this world stark naked, in the middle of that. I’ve often wondered really well-known, you know what that we are creating. It’s set in this the production.  ey debated what the college gardeners happens and they are stock-charac- wooden cabin in the middle of the whether to make him wear get up to.” ters.  ere’s no suspense. Fens, with the wind and the rain and underwear. I personally always “We’ve got some really great actors With this the characters are not the elements. We’re bringing a lot of fi nd nudity adds an element of I ask whether working who are really excited about all the characters that you really see in exciting soundscapes to it, to bring excitement to a production, but on the play has changed potential in their characters. Putting any literature: An ex-jailbird who that world into the Corpus Playroom. I kept this thoughtful observa- her outlook at all. “Like it together has just been a case of has moved out into the marshes of I just want people to be immersed in tion to myself. I said, every time I think really working out who these people Cambridgeshire, two college garden- it. When I watch plays I want them about it it’s diff erent. are and where they are coming from, ers who no longer go to church and to make me think, and I don’t mind While the cast are performing an  e fi rst time I read it, because all of them do some ques- stay in this cabin and catch rabbits what they want me to think, but I energetic game of zip-zag-boing, I thought ‘ is is really tionable things.  ey’re being pushed at night. It’s so close to home and it’s want them to stay with me. the staple of any hard-hitting pro- shocking, these char- to the edge. We’ve still got a lot of surprising because it’s not what we duction, I speak to the show’s direc- acters are just horrible, questions about these people, and I expect to see on stage, and it’s intri- What we’re trying to do is present tor Naomi Obeng. A quick Google of horrible people.’ And think that’s really cool.  ere’s a lot cate and complex. truth on stage. It’s about religion, the play revealed a recurring theme then when I started of uncertainty written into the script, belonging, being an outsider, all of ‘religious symbolism’, so I found it casting, and we’ve and it’s been really fun testing that sorts of things.  ere’s a lodger wryly amusing that Naomi, Hebrew had actual physi- out. It’s defi nitely been exciting to who comes and wants to fi nd a for ‘sweet’ and ‘agreeable’, lives up to cal people playing have the input of all of the place in society, there are gar- her namesake. Softly spoken, she was them, I’ve become actors on their deners who have been kicked out quietly enthused as I tried to draw her more sympathetic, of their garden.  ey are people out on the mysterious production. particularly to who are socially ostracised. the character Hopefully people will come I open with an easy question; tell Bolla. She’s a and be very surprised. I want me about the play. “ at’s surpris- lodger in the people to feel something.” ingly a diffi cult question,” Naomi gardeners’ answers. “It’s a very complex play, and  e Night Heron is on at 7pm every time I think about it, it means from Tue 1st March 2016 - Sat something else and it’s a diff er- 5th March 2016 at the Corpus ent play to me.  e main idea Playroom. is that there are two ex-college gardeners and they live in the Fens and they are on the fringes of society.  ey are poor and it’s winter.  ey take on a lodger to get some income, and the play unfolds from there. Friday 26th February 2016 eatre 27

is is a sequel to Tristram Shandy, (as was particularly the case with this of the loose ends that I thought the Will Dalrymple, writer, director which you also wrote and directed. one), I wouldn’t write it down until fi rst one left and in doing so I think it How does this compare to the origi-

WILL DALRYMPLE all of the various, niggling ‘why’s’ and comes to quite a nice, organic conclu- and actor in the upcoming nal production? ‘how’s’ had been answered. Also, I’ve sion, so I wouldn’t know how to go production, discusses bringing found it obligatory to tell absolutely about doing a third! Rather dully, my It’s diffi cult for me to compare the two everyone I encounter that I’m writ- ‘next project’ is exams next term, but Sterne’s classic character because they’re so diff erent: diff erent ing a play and then proceed to talk after that, who knows? We might see tone, diff erent cast (almost com- at them about a scene I’m ‘grappling Tristram Shandy: Live at the (some- to life...again pletely), diff erent form: the fi rst one with’ or something insuff erable like where else)! in the near future… was a sketch show-ish piece of literary that. I don’t know why but it’s such an criticism, this one is a tragicomic (a integral part of the ‘process’… e fi rst Tristram Shandy re- loathsome word, I know) road trip. It ceived rave reviews. What do you would have been a bit too easy (or as Without giving too much away, what think is the secret to a successful easy as the source material allows) to is your favourite moment of the production? rehash the fi rst one but with diff erent play? bits of the book. What I’ve tried to In my experience, it comes down to do with this one is to take bits of the Hmm, my favourite bit is actually the the people involved – a group of dedi- books (Sterne’s A Sentimental Journey ending, which I can’t really talk about cated, enthusiastic, like-minded peo- provides half of the material this time) sans spoilers!  ere is a wonderful ple is all that’s needed on the produc- and set them in an entirely diff erent scene that, while not in the books, tion side. However, what this group format – instead of the interview/ is based on historical fact; Laurence must share is ambition! However, a book tour setup of last time, we now Sterne and Samuel Johnson met once producer who can be realistic and have Tristram attempting to coordi- and despised each other.  ere curb the more preposter- nate and star in an actual play, with are a couple of glorious ous ambitions is always an actual plot and an actual focus accounts of this and I a bonus. So really to it, without giving too much away. couldn’t help swap- several things are Because of this I think it certainly has ping out Sterne for needed. In terms more of a dramatic thrust to it, which Tristram and letting of making theatre hopefully won’t undercut the comedy the scene play out people actually of the play but will defi nitely present to its pornographic enjoy, I think it’s us with bits of Tristram’s personality conclusion (look it so important, at that the setup of the fi rst one didn’t up)!  e cast also every point in the really allow for tonally.  is is because make a shipwreck script, to stop and the fi rst was a big, tacky, whizzpop- scene towards the think ‘are we mak- ping extravaganza, whereas this is a beginning of the play ing an audience sit small-cast chamber piece; the change something truly glori- through something?’ in venue from ADC to Pembroke New ous to behold – any fans of If the answer is yes then Cellars refl ects this pretty well. Also Toast of London will see ‘High something needs to change. this one goes off -book. A lot. To all Winds Acting’ by the bucketload! It’s It’s all very well ‘exploring’ this idea or Sterne purists out there, I apologise in diffi cult to single out particular mo- that, but just because a script explores advance. ments, because practically every scene something, it does not mean the audi- contains Tim Atkin as Tristram along ence will want to.  eatre, as far as I How do you go about writing a play? with Mark Bittlestone and Rhiannon see it, should be many things – excit- Shaw playing almost every other part ing, challenging, spectacular, involv- TRISTRAM With both Tristram Shandy plays that between them, and all three of them ing, moving, funny – but I think the I’ve done, I started out with absolutely are so, so good, it’s impossible not to very least we can ask of a play is that it no idea what I was doing. So I wrote love them all! be entertaining. When the reviews for a few pages of something and then this come in I’m sure at least part of stared at it for weeks and weeks until Can we expect to see a Tristram these highly strung refl ections on the- SHANDY a good idea presented itself which Shandy 3 on the horizon, or do you atre will come back to bite me on the allowed me to write a few more pages have any other projects planned? arse, but I really do think everyone’s until the next ‘brainwave’. Even when in for a smashing time with Tristram you have a 600-page book in front of Oh, I don’t think my friends or their 2. I said of the fi rst one that Tristram you to plunder for scenes and char- Facebook timelines would tolerate an- would give Cambridge ‘an evening of acters, for me at least writing a play is other one! Tim and I had some rather theatre like no other’: I like to think 2 mainly sitting around for ages waiting silly ideas for a potential Tristram that he was just getting started. for a decent idea to pop into my head. Shandy 3, and there are countless I like scenes and plots to make com- stories in the books that I’ve not yet Tristram Shandy 2 will be on at 7pm, plete sense in quite a pedantic way, so touched, but to be honest this one is Tue 1st March 2016 - Sat 5th March if I have an idea of a fun scene or two pretty fi nal. I’ve tried to tie up some 2016, at Pembroke New Cellars

hen I told my friend that down to the gender bias found in in. It’s easier with Shakespeare than to do Dido, Queen of Cartharge with I was writing a piece sug- most stand-up comedy shows, where some other playwrights because you a cast of boys because that’s how Wgesting that we intro- male comedians dominate the fi eld. have a certain fl exibility; we can pick it was done, but it’s not interesting duce gender quotas in the world of Sometimes productions are actively a world in which it makes perfect to use drama-school graduate men CAMBRIDGE Cambridge theatre, he reacted with barred from changing the gender of sense for Escalus, as an authority fi g- aged between 20 to 60. It’s bizarre, surprise. “Most student productions casts.  e team behind Pembroke ure, to become a woman. When you and why take those parts away? are majority-female,” he pointed out. Cellars’ production of e History have a more socially realistic work it  ere aren’t enough parts for women THEATRES “It’s not a problem here.” Boys intended to make it all-female, becomes more tricky in a weird way. as it is.” but Alan Bennett’s agent refused NEED GENDER To some extent, he’s right. Many them the rights unless the characters Littler was referring to Mark Cambridge student productions remained male. Rylance’s famous productions of QUOTAS swap the genders of characters dur- Richard III and Twelfth Night, with ing casting, and anyone who has cast  e issue of gender-swapping is the latter seeing Rylance himself, for a show will tell you that there are controversial in the theatre world. THIS WEEK’S FOOTLIGHTS a 42-year-old man, playing Olivia, far more female than male appli- Last month saw the launch of the PRODUCTION FEATURES JUST one of the few strong Shakespearean cants. We’re all young, educated, and 50:50 by 2018 campaign, with sev- parts for women. I saw Richard III. this is 2016.  ere appears to be no eral leading theatres, including the TWO WOMEN In an overtly misogynistic play, the reason why parts wouldn’t be avail- Almeida, signing up to a commit- whole thing felt very uncomfortable. able for women. ment to equality in the gendered parts that are off ered. It’s an ambi-  is week’s Footlights produc- However, this term the Corpus tious campaign, but one that’s been “I defi nitely think if we’re seeing tion features just two women in a Playroom has off ered 40 parts for a long time coming. Women are 50 all-male Shakespeare productions cast of nine.  e ADC and Corpus men, compared to 33 parts for per cent of the population. In 2016, then we ought to see all-female Playroom have consistently failed women, leaving women taking just it’s insane that they don’t form 50 per Shakespeare productions, because to provide equal numbers of parts 45 per cent of roles. At the ADC the cent of casts. it’s bonkers. And that whole excuse for women; in 2015 they off ered fi gures are more skewed, with 66 about it being original practice is 239 parts for men and 201 parts parts given to men as opposed to When he was in town putting on such bollocks. Such bollocks – you for women, a discrepancy of 10 per 46 for women, resulting in a gender Measure for Measure, I spoke to can quote me on that. If you are go- cent. In a town where the majority of division of 60:40 in favour of men. professional director Tom Littler ing to do original practice then you applicants for roles are women, this about this issue: “It’s really exciting. have to do it properly. You can have a is disappointing. If CUADC cannot What are the reasons for this divi- We are miles off that now, because 13-year-old boy playing Juliet, that’s provide equal parts for both genders, Eleanor Costello questions sion? Well, it can partly be traced to we do so much classic work and interesting as an experiment. But it’s then surely introducing gender the lack of female roles the popularity of Elizabethan and work set in the past, which makes not original practice to have a thirty- quotas is the obvious solution to the Jacobean plays, which are heavily it diffi cult. I defi nitely think it’s the year-old man playing Viola.  at’s problem. I contacted CUADC for male-dominated. It is also partly direction that we should be headed not what happened. It’s interesting comment but received no response. 28 Reviews Friday 26th February 2016 BEN WATERS

short and snappy. I could happily have Comedy performed a condensed (but COMEDY sat through longer sets given that the no less amusing) version of their re- performances were of such high qual- cent show No Pain No Grain.  ey Comedy for ity, but I can understand the decision quickly had the room in stitches with to cut them down as this may have Elliott Wright’s hilarious David Bowie Calais made the event as a whole drag on impression and some brilliant physi- somewhat.  e comedians launched cal comedy.  eir set ended on a bel- McCrum Lecture eatre, 21/02/16 in with confi dence, and left you want- ter, with a stage mishap turning into a ing more. All of them off ered original, moment of perfect comedy as a prop  side-splitting material, but among baby’s head smashed on the fl oor (it those who really stood out were Isa was less morbid in context, I prom- omedy for Calais was a night Bonachera, Haydn Jenkins and Ken ise). Meanwhile Mavericks’ Ruby and of stellar comedy and wine- Cheng. My friends had actually seen Louisa made for an immediately lik- C drinking. But behind its con- several of the sets before in a separate able dynamic duo, sailing comfort- ception was a bleak situation. It has comedy show, and they told me that ably through their range of hilarious recently been announced that the these were, if anything, only funnier impressions.  ey even included a Jungle Refugee camp in Calais will be the second time round. Many of the dad joke. evicted by the authorities, leaving at one-liners had the audience in fi ts of  e only way in which Comedy least two thousand refugees without giggles including one of my personal for Calais disappointed was in terms shelter and desperately in need of aid. favourites: “I left home at the age of of the turnout.  e McCrum lecture To help raise donations, students pio- sixteen – then I got back from school theatre (which, in spite of being a lec- neered a night of cheer and positiv- in the afternoon.” ture theatre, made for a surprisingly ity, encouraging students to relax and Had the organisers kept to having comfortable venue when the lights have a giggle while raising money for stand-up after stand-up perform one were dimmed) was far from being at a really worthwhile cause. after the other, the format might have full capacity. Such a splendid show-  e evening celebrated some of become slightly monotonous, but this casing of Cambridge’s comedians, in Cambridge’s fi nest student comedy, was prevented by the inclusion of an aid of such a good cause, really de- and none of the stand-ups disap- interval in which to buy more wine served a larger audience. pointed. Host Yaseen Kader kept the (all proceeds went to charity) and also Also, I waited until the interval be- energy going in between the acts by the integration of refreshing group fore buying a glass of wine, so I can with lively audience interaction and performances.  ese were the double vouch that I teared up from laughter sharp, witty observations, like ques- act, Luisa Callander and Ruby Keane before I was even tipsy. tioning the status of foot fetishists of the recent sketchshow Mavericks, http://www.calaid.co.uk/ in today’s society. Each set was kept and also Quinoa Comedy. Quinoa Charlotte Giff ord

expression – soon sensed the chang- FILM ing tide of opinion and baulked. Communist sympathisers would not Trumbo be employed. While many emigrated to Mexico and Europe, the screen- dir. Jay Roach, 124 mins writer Dalton Trumbo – one of the original Ten, out from prison – stayed   in Hollywood, writing under pseu-  donyms, before fi nally breaking the addy, are you a commu- blacklist in 1960 when he received a nist?” Nicola sits astride writing-credit for Spartacus. “Dthe family pony, as her fa- Trumbo sells itself as a historical ther, Dalton Trumbo (played by Bryan biopic. We have sombre intertitles weeks, was a commendable market- for a soft launch, abundantly friendly Cranston), off ers a careful analogy: telling us how factual it all is.  ere’s RESTAURANT ing ploy. By noon, a long queue of and the place was fi lled with a happy if she made the choice to share her even real footage from newsreels and pho-seekers (predominantly students buzz (only partially due to the thrill packed lunch with another child who contemporary fi lms interwoven. But Pho – people were actually reading) had of free food and exceptionally sunny had none, she’d be a communist too. beside this apparent taste for authen- formed along the length of Wheeler weather). As the ‘clean eating’ storm  is trite reduction – with all the scope ticity is a tonal disingenuousness, and 1 Wheeler Street, Cambridge Street, resolutely awaiting the promise continues to rage, Pho ticks all the of a thought-provoking meme – is the even a kind of ambivalence for the era. of a free bowl of Pho (usually about right boxes. Dishes are based around nearest the fi lm comes to any real en-  e fi lm opens to a fast bebop number,  £9). Pho is your ultimate noodle soup: raw veg, lean protein and vitamin-rich gagement with the C-word. Trumbo is but this is all we hear of the ‘40s; slushy ho landed with a bang on a popular form of Vietnamese street broth, making Vietnamese cuisine one no history, let alone a radical history, strings soon take over. For a fi lm set in Wheeler Street on the eleventh food, it consists of rice noodles, stock of the healthiest in the world, not to but rather that timeless reaffi rmation Hollywood in the 1940s and 1950s – a P of this month.  e family-run (lovingly prepared for twelve hours) mention a brilliant hangover cure. of the American constitution and the place and moment for which we’ve so Vietnamese chain, which opened in with meat or vegetables. Ardently Pho is set to become a student fa- rights of the (white) American (male). carefully curated our nostalgia – to give Clerkenwell in 2005 and has since avoiding pho-mo (ha), I ordered the vourite: the vibe is laid back and breezy, In 1947 the Hollywood Ten came us nothing of that feeling, without in expanded across the UK, has bagged most popular pho: deliciously tender you can comfortably gorge for under a before the House Un-American any way attempting, as an alternative, itself some of Cambridge’s most de- beef brisket, swimming in a hearty tenner, and the pho itself packs more Activities Committee in Washington. to dash these expectations and break sirable commercial real estate: a size- bowl of rice noodles and aromatic punch than a tired Wagamama ramen.  ey were screenwriters and directors through the charade, strikes me as a able double-storey spot thirty seconds beef broth. Pho is served with a side Be warned, though: Pho consumption with unfashionable political leanings. failure. So Trumbo’s interiors are fi ne, from market square, beside the Corn of fresh herbs, which you tear up and is a slurpy and somewhat splashy busi- When all refused to cooperate—to the shots are fi ne and make Hollywood Exchange, and surrounded by an array stir into the dish to add fl avour and aid ness, so perhaps not a wise option for meet that toxic question, ‘Are you now, look kind of like Hollywood – but they of established, successful neighbours digestion. Navigating the fl oating noo- a dinner date. or have you ever been…’ – they were give us no relish of it; the camera has including Jamie’s Italian, the Pint Shop dles with chopsticks requires a certain 1 Wheeler Street, Cambridge, CB2 convicted for contempt.  e studios, no taste for anything it passes over. and Aromi. degree of patience, but also forces you 3QB Sun-Wed 12pm-10pm,  urs initially indignant that the state should  e script is deathly fl at apart from Last Friday’s ‘Free Pho All’, pro- to pace yourself - always a good thing. 12pm-10:30pm, Fri-Sat 12pm - 11pm dare meddle with free enterprise—free the rare zinger moted via social media over recent  e service was, as one might expect Lily Spicer Friday 26th February 2016 Reviews 29 ALBUM ALBUM Animal Collective - School of Seven Bells - EVERYMAN PICTURES EVERYMAN Painting With SVIIB released 19/02/16, Domino released 26/02/16, Vagrant   nimal Collective are in a strange position as a band. ow could I have known?” singer Alexandra  ey’ve made those early albums beloved by hard- Deheza (inset) swoons in the fi rst line of A core fans.  ey’ve made the critically acclaimed “H‘Ablaze’, the album’s stomping synthpop breakthrough album, and the knotty follow-up. Its mem- opener. Well, how could she? bers have forged successful solo careers, with their albums  e subtext is inescapable. SVIIB, the fourth and likely fi - often being just lauded just as much as the main band’s.  is nal album from the indie-shoegaze synthpop group School leaves the obvious question of what more the band have to of Seven Bells, is the fi rst released in four years after produc- say, or if one were to be even more blunt: what reasons do er (and Deheza’s lover) Benjamin Curtis died in December they have for releasing anything new?  e answer from 2013 from lymphoma aged only 35. Deheza, as the sole re- Avey Tare, Panda Bear, and Geologist is that they can create maining band member, fi nished the record alone, a tribute the most enjoyable album of their career, and also the album to her former musical, platonic and romantic partner and that will probably wind up the band’s detractors the most. the band’s fans, calling it “a love letter from start to fi nish”. Like any good opening track should do, the tone for the All but one of these tracks were produced and recorded whole album is set by ‘FloriDada.’ Featuring yelping vocals by Deheza and Curtis together in 2012 before his untimely and sounding not unlike the theme tune to a children’s tel- diagnosis.  e dramatic irony that results is striking, infus- evision programme, the song on paper sounds like a night- ing the record with double meaning and adding depth to mare. Yet the band overcomes this by delivering a simply what at fi rst blush comes across simply as well-crafted pop. fantastic melody that lodges fi rmly in the back of your  rowaway lyrics become powerful statements all the head, willingly or not.  e song is probably the more eff ective for their simplicity, as when a quick most accessible of the band’s career; for all of line affi rming mutual respect in a relationship their charms, Animal Collective could not in the exhilarating ‘On My Heart’ over uplift- be accused of being overly generous in the ing synths and an unstoppable beat takes a banger department, but ‘FloriDada’ goes a tragic edge in the context of Curtis’s death long way to addressing that. (“ ere was a you before me, there was a Indeed, a feature of Painting With is me before you, and that’s the way it goes”). that the tunes rather sneak up on you. For  e eff ect is all the stronger for the ten- much of ‘ e Burglars’ there is so much derly optimistic mood of the track (and going on sonically that it can be hard to the album as a whole), as if Deheza is ig- discern any melody, let alone the lyrics. norant of and refl ective about loss in equal  e chaos soon takes on a hypnotic qual- measure, with sorrow and defi ance playing ity though, and by the end of the song Panda off each other to weave a vibrant, doggedly hu-

Bear’s refrain of “what you think you own, you KEVIN MURPHY man bittersweet texture as her vocals soar with don’t” stands out for its yearning beauty. ‘Golden Gal’ lyrics like “With me your love’s safe”. Most tracks, on has a similar quality, opening surreally with a sample from the surface, are an ode or an elegy; the mixture of layers of the sitcom Golden Girls and a fairly standard beat, before interpretation means they are often both simultaneously. really growing into its melody only in the last third of the On past releases, School of Seven Bells could be rightly song. accused of long, borderline abstruse lyrical fl ushes. Here,  e band have said in interviews prior to the release of their songwriting technique reaches its apogee, with evoca- the album that they wanted to create punchier pop songs tive metaphorical details sitting alongside piercingly direct and capture the spirit of  e Ramones. Quite what Johnny, emotional sentiments (“Until I felt your hands on my skin, I Dee Dee and co. would have made of the cutesy clip about felt nothing”). Deheza frequently evokes the air, the sky and dinosaurs that opens ‘Hocus Pocus’ is another matter, but the stars, using them as a springboard for her memories of one can see where the band are coming from. No song her lover (“Do you remember when, in the morning hours, we reaches the fi ve minute mark, with the band choosing to go would watch the stars play their song?”) and for digressions for direct openings rather than any long drawn-out sections. into fantasy (“Tonight I’m feeling the moon come through, Brevity is an attribute they seem to value, and Painting With stars sway under my feet, the lights all around me glow, and certainly does not outstay its welcome. Rather, its concision music takes me”). We share the sentiment in the opening lends the album a curiously addictive charm. line of ‘Signals’: Curtis is absent, yet we feel him pervasively  e album’s lyrical concerns seem to match the joyous close throughout, both emotionally and more literally, as al- mood. Although it can be diffi cult to make out what Panda bum producer. All the while the synths continue their fi erce and Avey are actually going on about, songs like ‘Vertical’ pace, barely giving us time to digest the rich evocation of and ‘Recycling’ refl ect not only a love of nature, but a feeling human feeling throughout.  e musical and emotional par- from B-movie exec, Frank King gossip columnist and kind of Katie that so much is going wrong with the world that we may as allels with CHVRCHES’s recent Every Open Eye are signifi - (played by the ever-great John Hopkins equivalent—and yet she feels well revel in it whilst we can. cant: if you loved that, you’ll likely love this. Goodman): “You wanna call me a pinko like a cheap villain. She and a bullish  ere is much on Painting With that will fuel Animal As the band mourns the loss of one of its members, so in the papers? Do it. None of the people John Wayne soak up most of the an- Collective’s detractors. In fact the band seem to have dou- too, particularly in the album’s fi rst half, do the songs draw that go to my f**king movies can read!” tipathy, as if they alone—mere enter- bled down on the tics that so irritate some listeners. Avery fi rm musical inspiration from the past – the throbbing, King, operating his studio from what tainers—had their hands on the cogs of and Panda still share vocals, only this time they do it far repetition-driven structures and lyrics of 1980s synthpop resembles a bowling alley diner, and American paranoia. Bryan Cranston as more often and far more quickly. Some will and soaring New Wave ambiance make for near-perfect keeping a baseball bat under his desk, Trumbo is sassy and likeable, though we fi nd the saccharine nature of the album, so retro tracks.  at sheen is sacrifi ced for songs like ‘Signals’ makes a welcome departure from the see him mostly through incessant type- well embodied by ‘FloriDada’, too much and ‘Elias’, where indie-pop experimentation and layered fi lm’s otherwise stodgy and sentimental writing montages, or in boring conver- to stomach. It is also true that there is eff ects on Deheza’s vocals – a return to the band’s core realism. He makes you think what the sation with his friend (Louis C. K.) who no song given time to space and breathe sound – are less rewarding for sometimes lacking im- Coen brothers would have done (or did also has lung cancer—just in case histo- on this album, as ‘Bluish’ did to such mediate hooks and masking the powerful lyrics lurking do much better in Barton Fink). ry wasn’t interesting enough.  e Civil good eff ect on 2009’s Merriweather underneath. But ‘Confusion’ packs the biggest emo- Rights Movement makes it into the Post Pavillion. Perhaps ‘Bagels in Kiev’, tional punch, the only track on the fi nal cut written and background briefl y, while the only non- where Panda refl ects on his grandfather recorded after Curtis’s diagnosis. Deheza’s exhaustion white speaking part is a prison inmate, back in Ukraine, but at breakneck speed, over languid, ethereal synths is real and raw, and in the Virgil (Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje), represents something of a missed right mood the song is devastating. “Confusion convicted of killing a white man. He eas- opportunity. weighs heavy, and I understand nothing of ily merges with the conglomerate bulk Painting With is not go- these changes,” she laments, the album’s COLDLY INSINCERE, AND of America that condemns Trumbo, ing to change many only explicit, direct acknowledge- INFREQUENTLY FUNNY as he’s made a vigorous patriot.  e people’s minds about ment of loss and pain. camera would have Trumbo’s down- Animal Collective.  at is far from setting the sized suburban house look dingy, as if For those already overall tone. Anthemic closer it weren’t on the cosy side of the Federal converted to the ‘ is Is Our Time’ encapsu- Trumbo simply cannot decide how Housing Authority and its campaign of cause though, it lates the broader optimism seriously to take itself. It’s bursting nationwide segregation over the course represents per- and vitality amidst mourning with the mortal signifi cance of its own of the 1950’s. haps the purest on these tracks: “Our time is matter—history—while simultaneously Trumbo is a case of sanitised his- and most en- indestructible”, “We own the contorting it, showing actor Edward tory; coldly insincere, and infrequently tertaining dis- night, we escape tonight to G. Robinson (Michael Stuhlbarg) nam- funny.  ere is not much radical history tillation of what the haze of the bright lights”. ing names, when in fact he didn’t. ‘Real to be found in the story of Hollywood— Animal Collective  e result is a moving and oc- life’ stories of this variety always play the Hollywood communists that there do. Perfecting casionally thrilling album that with the facts, but this alteration makes were, failed—and yet what there is, is their craft seems goes beyond a tribute to one Trumbo’s very basis feel desperately in- thoroughly purged from Trumbo and like quite a good man to make a broader, bolder sincere. Helen Mirren makes for a cal- replaced with a saccharine family elegy. reason to continue statement about love, loss and lous Hedda Hopper—the Republican Jim Hilton releasing albums. life.

Patrick Wernham DOMINO RECORDS / PFFR Tom Freeman

Friday 26th February 2016 Sport 31 Lent Bumps: a cox’s perspective As college boats once again descend upon the River Cam, Sarah Doré describes Lent Bumps from the cox’s seat

It’s the biggest competition in Lent nature of the river, side-by-side rac- It is an exhilarating and incredible and Easter term collegiate rowing. ing is diffi cult on the Cam: bumps experience.

Months of ergs, weights, outings, early off er the solution. College boats line SARAH DORE However, coxing the Bumps is not mornings, late evenings: they all come up behind one another in divisions just nerve-wracking; it is also poten- down to this moment. Eight men of roughly 17 – with the order deter- tially dangerous. Precautions are, of or women sit poised, blades buried, mined by the previous year’s fi nishing course, taken to protect all of the cox- waiting to see if all of their hard work order – and set off at the sound of a es who take part. Information meet- has been worth it. e coaches count cannon. ey then race to collide with ings are held before every Bumps for down; there is silence on the river. the boat in front of them, thus earn- coxes, outlining safeguards. All coxes en a single cannon sounds. Every ing them a ‘bump’. ose who bump or wear lifejackets, and every boat is fi t- crew takes that fi rst stroke together, are bumped then pull to the side of the ted with a bow ball (sort of a squash racing forward, desperately trying river, and the rest of the crews contin- ball fi tted to the end of the boat so that to catch up to the crew in front and ue racing. e aim is to make as many it is not a sharp point.) ‘bump’ them. Eight oars rise and sink. of these bumps as possible. Achieving In spite of this, however, the cox’s Eight rowers strain their every muscle. a bump every day of the races (four in seat is the most dangerous place to be Yet there are not eight people sitting total) will give the crew much-coveted during the Bumps. ere is nothing in that boat; there are in fact nine. blades. more terrifying as a cox than looking Coxing occupies a strange position Bumps present a unique challenge behind you during a race to see an- within the sporting world. It is a role for coxes. Coxes often have the chance other crew gaining on you at a much in which you both take part in a sport, to make a real diff erence to the out- faster pace than you yourself are row- while simultaneously not doing any come of races and this is never more The best seat on the river for Lent Bumps ing. e adrenaline rush of urging exercise at all. Coxes are the people true than for the bumps. YouTube is your crew on, knowing that you may who sit at the back of the boat, fac- strewn with countless videos of past Another person pushes you out into boat in front) begin to be blown. be hit, is intense. While coxing W2 ing the rowers. ey are responsible bumps races where the cox has made the middle of the river with a long Maybe a boat in front of you bumps in last year’s Bumps, I was hit in the for the safety of the crew, for steer- a bad decision and subsequently lost pole, with maybe 20-30 seconds to and blocks the river, and you have back by a Darwin crew (through no ing around the (many) corners of the the bump. Conversely, the right strate- go. Bow and two seat (the two nearest to take a diffi cult line to avoid them. fault of theirs or mine, just bad luck). Cam, coaching their crew and moti- gic move or a good line around a cor- to the back) take little taps until you Maybe one of your rowers crabs (gets Although I was relatively uninjured, it vating during races. It is a test of men- ner can make the diff erence between a are straight, and then everyone comes their blade stuck in the water) and brings home the dangers that Bumps tal, rather than physical, endurance. I bump or a row over (rowing the whole forward. e blades are square and you have to make a tactical decision can entail. have been involved in the Cambridge of the course without bumping or be- buried, the counting stops, and then about how to deal with it. You might Ultimately, Bumps are a test for rowing scene since my fi rst week in ing bumped). you hear the gun. Every boat jumps gain on the crew in front and have to both rowers and coxes. For rowers, Cambridge: as a rower, a coach, a cap- One of the most nerve-wracking forward at once as you race through call that all-important move to fi nally it is a physical and mental challenge, tain and now as a cox. is time last moments of Bumps for a cox is just the start sequence. You settle into the bump them, or you might have to mo- seeing if their training over the last year, I coxed Lady Margaret’s W2 boat after the one minute gun is fi red. is race, trying to keep your rowers fo- tivate your crew to pull away from a few months has paid off . For coxes, in the Lent bumps; this year, it will be is the point at which your coach will cused within the boat in spite of the crew gaining behind. At all times, you it is purely a mental challenge: hold- Lady Margaret M1. start counting down. In your hand, chaos outside. You can hear other are calling to your crew, listening to ing your nerve, urging your crew on e most fun that can be had in cox- you hold the bung: a piece of wood at- coxes yelling, coaches are screaming your coach, listening to the umpires, and hoping to make that bump. In my ing on the Cam is undoubtedly during tached by a long chain that you must from the bank, and the fi rst whistles and always looking ahead to see what opinion, it is the most exciting place to the Bumps races. Due to the narrow keep hold of until the start gun goes. (indicating how far you are off of the the boats in front of you are doing. be in Bumps. 32 Sport Friday 26th February 2016 When rowing is purely mental Sarah Doré discusses coxing during Lent Bumps. Page 31

Sport Varsity 2016: the Light Blues struggle Women’s Squash: Oxford 6 – 0 Cambridge Men’s Squash: Oxford 5 – 1 Cambridge Al Hem ngway had an incredibly tight match, with some great squash on display, despite Sport Correspondent being hampered by an injury that took her off court for last season and much CAMBRIDGE UNIVERSITY VOLLEYBALL TEAM Cambridge faced their old opponents of this year. She lost 10-9 in the fourth, on the squash court at one of squash’s with two of the games going to 10-9, oldest fi xtures, dating back to the early losing 3-1 overall. 1920s. With only two returning Blues  e men’s matches followed straight in the ladies’ team, and two from the after. Matt Lees, captain and 2014 men, facing a largely unchanged Ox- Blue, whose leg injury had kept him ford team, with a current professional out since last year’s Varsity, was fi nally giving the Oxford men a boost at the back on court. He comfortably took top of the order, Cambridge featured his match 3-0. Riki Houlden, continu- as underdogs, but were optimistic that ing to improve rapidly, won the fi rst, they could upset the favourites. but succumbed to illness and eventu-  e ladies took to the court fi rst, ally lost 3-1. Jamie Giddins had a very with freshers Hannah Yogasundram close match, but couldn’t convert the and Miranda Nicholson starting the games. Luis North, a fresher but an ex- game off . Unfortunately, they both perienced junior player, didn’t get off faced more experienced opponents, to a great start, but sharpened up to whom they couldn’t overcome this draw at 2-2.  e work he had put in A strong performance did not translate into a positive result for the Volleyball Blues time. Next were captain Katie Hanlon to get there showed in the fi fth, with and fourth-year Jenny Martin, return- his opponent able to take advantage ing to squash after a spell on the ski of his tiredness. James Liley, the only Women’s Volleyball: Oxford 3 – 0 Cambridge team. Hanlon narrowly lost against a player from last year’s Blues, played seasoned opponent, in a match which an experienced and tough opponent. Kat e G bson  roughout these matches the ten- the set 25-23. could easily have gone the other way, Although he fought a close match, he sion was building. When the time Cambridge played solidly in the sec- and although Jenny pushed her oppo- wasn’t able to convert it into a victory. Sport Correspondent came for the women’s Blues game it ond set, losing it narrowly. Despite the nent to a very close fi nal set, it wasn’t Josh Carter, unable to play Blues last began in explosive style, with the fi rst loss, the Blues ladies came away from quite enough to take it to a fourth. year, fulfi lled his potential when fac- It was with great anticipation that the set being dominated by powerful hit- the match with heads held high after a Cambridge now looked to Laura ing Phil Nightingale, the new Oxford four Cambridge University Volleyball ting and committed defence from both spirited performance. Mullarkey, last year’s captain, and Rina number one. As a current profes- teams – men’s and women’s Blues and Cambridge and Oxford. Every point Unfortunately, the team then went Einy, our most experienced player as sional, Nightingale was just a little seconds – made the journey to Oxford was fought determinedly, with neither on to lose their BUCS Student Cup a former National and British Open too consistent for Josh, although they for the 2016 Varsity matches on Satur- team letting up the pressure on their Knock-Out match in Edinburgh on Champion. Mullarkey took the fi rst had some great rallies. Unfortunately, day the 20th February. First up at 9am opposition.  e score was neck and Wednesday – let’s hope things look up game, but ran out of steam and could Oxford’s experience proved just a little were the women’s seconds. neck throughout, with Oxford stealing for them soon. not keep her momentum going. Einy too much for Cambridge this year. Cuppers Semis: Robinson edge through to face confi dent Pembroke

it meant goals were always going to be penalties always seemed to be an no wins in fi ve games, a streak that most of the fi rst half, with numerous Peter Rutzler at a premium. inevitability. has seen them slip perilously opportunities, yet St Catharine’s were Sport Correspondent Fitz, although missing two key play-  e keepers, both of whom play at close to the drop. Plus, not about to surrender and Gareth Goh ers in the centre of the park in Stefan university level, duly put on a show, with forward David Ifere gave the second division outfi t a glim- Wolf and Joe Painter, looked the most both impressively saving two penal- sidelined, they may have mer of hope when he found the net Robinson 0 – 0 Fitzwilliam likely to score of the two sides. With ties each. After the fi rst two penalties feared the worst coming from close range on 30 minutes. Yet (pen: 3–1) threats on both fl anks, they were able were fi nely saved, Robinson fi nally up against the slayers of a comeback of such unprecedented to test the fi nger-tips of Harrison opened the scoring, but Fitz failed to Jesus: St Catharine’s. proportions was always unlikely. In a game that was as dire as the 0-0 through eff orts from Spyrou and reply – blazing their second penalty Yet they came Pembroke remained the most scoreline suggests, Cuppers favourites Rutzler. But these were rare occur- over and wide. Two more saves left out of the blocks likely to score in the second Fitzwilliam missed out on their fi rst rences.  e main struggle was keeping the score, after three penalties each, full of ener- half, with the home side get- fi nal since their glory of 2013.  ey the ball on the pitch. at 1-0 to Robinson. Robinson scored gy, quickly ting plenty of joy down the were dumped out of the competition Robinson, too, posed a threat; twice their fourth spot kick, and although taking the fl anks. by high-fl ying Division Two side Rob- they looked to break through the Fitz Fitz managed to respond, Sibley had Finally, with the game inson through the lottery that is the line, and they came close when Sibley the chance to win it for Robinson. nearing its end and St shootout. broke through on the right only to be Unfazed, he calmly stroked the ball to l e a d Catz getting desper- Perhaps the defi ning component of denied by Henry Warne. At the break the right of Warne, sending Robinson after ate, Marcus Nielsen put the match was, however, the atrocious there was still no prospect of any through to face Pembroke in the fi nal. 12 minutes through the game to bed.  e Blues for- wind, permanently keeping the ball on goals. Captain Tom Ogier, ward slotted home a goal from the far touchline and preventing either At full time there was no score either Pembroke 4 – 1 St Catz who found the net fol- close range to send the home side from putting together any fl owing and not a lot to report on in between. lowing an excellent fans into delirium, and en- football.  e record number of passes  e best chance saw Fitz substitute Pembroke, on the other hand, are cross from Oldfi eld. sured Pembroke will be back from either side before the ball left the Meredith fi re a cross-shot across the now quite accustomed to cup fi nals. 10 minutes later at Grange Road for the third fi eld of play stood at the grand total of face of goal, but it agonisingly evaded Grange Road is all but a second home Lopez made it two, successive year. fi ve. everyone and went wide. now for the Valencians, and they will and minutes later an With many now claim- Fitzwilliam came into the game as So to extra time. Fitz rallied late on be back there today having swiftly cut own goal left the home ing that Pembroke’s golden favourites but were wary of Robinson’s in the second period and struck the bar St Catharine’s cup adventure short side 3-0 up and cruising generation is entering its renowned stoic defence.  e Division through Meredith, who let fl y from 25 with a comfortable 4-1 win over the into a third consecutive twilight years, could this be Two side hadn’t conceded a goal in yards, and could also have had a pen- weekend. fi nal. their last chance to get the league until midway through this alty when Ewen went down in the area Pembroke came into the game off Pembroke their hands on that cov- term and, combined with the weather, with moments to go. Unfortunately, the back of a terrible run of form of dominated eted Cuppers trophy?