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No. 798 Friday 11th March 1988

INSIDE Will we Too good for CU again?

Christian Union (CU) were thrown 2 Frazer out of Imperial College Union last students? Monday when ICU Council ruled that their current constitution violates ICU Shan by-laws. The Student's Union at Silwood Park is fighting to obtain As reported in FELIX last week, accommodation promised by College administration for its full-time clauses in the CU constitution had 3 Housing postgraduates following the sale of Sandyride House. Sandyride, a been objected to. These clauses five acre property, was acquired by the Sherfield Trust in 1970 in required all members to sign a statement of belief, required Benefit order to provide accommodation for married overseas students but committee members to sign a further was sold so that new upgraded blocks could be built. Two of these —the update. 'doctrinal basis', and stated that any blocks will be completed within the next two months but Silwood speaker at CU meetings had to 'have Administrator Mr Keith Fisher is no longer willing to guarantee that views in accordance with the doctrinal 4 SciTech all these places will be available to full-time Silwood students. basis'. The two new blocks contain six two- he doesn't feel that the William The ICU by-laws state that Union person flats and sixteen single rooms. Penney rooms will be of a high facilities should be open to all IC 5 Paper College Secretary John Smith told enough standard to be used for the students, and this had hitherto been FELIX yesterday that the flats will be post-experience short course students. interpreted to mean that any student Recycling occupied by married students from Mr Munro has condemned this should be allowed to join any club or Sandyride and that the single rooms attitude as the new block has kitchen society. At the Council meeting, CU — a different will be used this summer to house facilities which the short course put the case that an exception should perspective. short course students. Mr Fisher said students would not need. William be made to this rule. They had been that no decision had yet been made Penney, however, has very poor in contact with the University & as to who would live in the single kitchens and would be much better College Christian Federation (UCCF) 6 Previews rooms after the summer. suited to short stay tenants. who insist that Christian Unions Silwood Union Chairman Willy Mr Fisher will not make a decision within the federation must conform to Munro is concerned that Mr Fisher on this matter until the two blocks their membership and speaker 7 Sports is not prepared to guarantee these have been completed. Mr Munro, restrictions. Should these be lifted, places, especially as the Union had with the backing of the South CU could not continue to receive been led to believe that the sale of Kensington Union, wants College's UCCF support. Sandyride would create more House Committee to promise that the Council also refused to allow the 8 Reviews accommodation for full-time students. block will be made available to the CU access to their allotted Union He wants as many students as possible William Penney residents as soon as funds for the remainder of the year from William Penney Hall, another it is ready and that priority will be as they were no longer considered to 10 Diary Silwood residence which is going to given to full-time students in the be a valid Union club, but yesterday's be refurbished this year, to be moved future. Union Finance Committee (UFC) to the new block as soon as it is Mr Smith told FELIX that the voted to let them keep all membership 12 Clubs completed. Mr Munro believes that refurbishment of William Penney monies and donations which they had this will give current Silwood students would take up to a year to complete. deposited in their account this year. the immediate benefit of the improved He also said that there were plans to CU treasurer, Athos Ritsperis, said facilities that the new block will make the main house into a that he had heard 'conflicting reports' 14 Letters provide plus give sufficient places for conference centre when the Biology about the status of CU's funds for this short course students. Department moves out and more short year and would not attempt to Mr Fisher has told the Union that course accommodation would be withdraw any money until the matter he will not accept this plan because built. continued on back page

THE NEWSPAPER OF IMPERIAL COLLEGE UNION Shan's Racing 1+ Column

Did you ever have the feeling that Also to Pippa Salmon and Kamala Sen What a week! The elections have kept someone doesn't like you? This was who also saw the night through with only cost his owner 40,000gns and to have been a bumper twenty page me plus Mole and Chris Martin. The a serious level of betting maintained; may well emulate Alverton (1979) and issue but more machinery FELIX spirit still lives on! Guildsheet slags me down for picking Royal Frolic (1976) by going on to breakdowns in the Print Unit meant three-legged donkeys; and the FELIX Gold Cup success after winning at that at the eleventh hour I had to Baron to be killed off—official Editor advises me which horse to Haydock the weekend before. cannibalise everything and cut it Due to popular demand I have decided back (which incidentally, came in at Undeterred by all this, however, I down to sixteen. Hopefully this will to scrap The Baron. Next week's issue a very nice 11-4). am going to stick with my old mean that you are now reading this will contain the last Baron ever, but Anyway, next week will prove favourite Playschool. Superstitious copy of FELIX on a Friday, not this will be one with a difference! It even more hectic with one of the readers may like to know that I was Monday, morning. I must apologise if will be written by one of you, highlights of the racing calendar—The it's cramped but I wanted to squeeze hopefully. Entries should be about looking for FELIX 750 which in as much as I could this week. 1000 words long and include your Cheltenham Festival. Regular contained an article on gambling. I name and department, although these followers of this column will have a eventually found it. The headline? Next Issue... will not be published. The storyline fair idea of my recommended Playschool. Back it. ...is in ten days time on Wednesday should be based on anything topical selections but here's a swift preview: Now, as promised in FELIX a March 23. It will be very large and concerning the Union, College or the fortnight ago, I can now reveal my very interesting. All copy deadlines world in general. The names should The Gold Cup, March 17 main tip for the Festival next week remain the same. Just in case... be easily decipherable and all entries Cavvies Clown has now been cleared Daviil, Elseworth is re-running should reach me by next Wednesday. of all doping allegations by The Skevena after he finished third in Heroes I'll give a FELIX sweatshirt for the one Special thanks to Lloyd Ruddock and we publish Jockey Club and is now free to run. Folkestone in the middle of last David Jones who stayed up all night 1984 winner, Burrough Hill Lad was month. Keep your eyes peeled for this Tuesday to print Wednesday's issue. retired from racing last Saturday nag's outing and back it heavily each night, so no winner for Penny Pitman way. I will! Editor-in-chief Judith Hackney this year. This was much to the Finally, for all those interested in Business Manager Chris Martin annoyance of one FELIX candidate going to Cheltenham next week, here Reviews Editors Andrew Clarke in last week's election. He denies all are the details: and Sumit Guha knowledge of backing it despite A luxury coach leaves Victoria Clubs Editor Andrew Waller tipping it three weeks previous. Only Sports Editors Dominic Strowbridge terminus at 9am and leaves the and 'Hector' Sullivan a fortnight ago, Jenny Pitman was racecourse half an hour after the last Science Editor Steve Black quoted as saying, 'It's not a question race. The fare is £10. All club badges Features Editor Kamala Sen of whether or not he'll win, but by for the three days are sold out. Typesetting Rose Atkins how far'. Not far enough by the looks However, Tattersalls tickets are still Printing Dean Vaughan of it. Contributors: Chris Jones, Al Birch, Adrian Bourne, Dave Jones, Adrian available for the first two days and Grainger, Max Kallios, Andrew Bannister, Lloyd Ruddock, Rodger Yahoo is looking good after his will be on sale on Gold Cup day from Houghton, Chas Jackson, Andrew Daglish, Linda Simmorls, Walter convincing win on Saturday at (Lian^ Eaves, Brad, Steve Roberts, Phil Young, Martyn Peck, Noel Curry, Sumit Haydock. Watching it on the box, I Tfl don't see you at the Festival, Guha, Martin Cole, Pippa Salmon, Kamala Sen, Chris Martin, Andrew was very impressed with his Waller, Barr & McRitchie Inc., Roy, Paul Shanley, John Blank, Rupert, have a good one. My selections for Simon and all the other collators. performance and he could represent this week are on the news page. a nice each-way shot at 20-1. Yahoo

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2 Friday March 11th 1988 FELIX INI & ws The simple bare necessities of life

The new system of assessing Housing then it will be ignored (ie it will have Applicable Amounts College Welfare Benefit is almost upon us. As I explained no effect on your claim to HB). in the article which appeared in last If you have capital between £3,000 Single claimant: Adviser Linda term's FELIX, the changes are part of and £6,000, £1 will be added on to the aged under 18 £19.40 a wide ranging 'reform' of the social figure used to calculate your weekly aged 18-24 inclusive £26.05 Simmonds looks at security system which among other income for every £250 (or part thereof) aged 25 + £33.40 things will replace supplementary benefit you have between these figures. Couple: the facts and with Income Support. both aged under 18 £38.80 As far as Housing Benefit is 2) You now need to work out your at least one aged 18 + £51.45 figures of housing concerned, however, the main changes weekly income net of tax. This includes affect the method of assessment NOT money coming into you regularly from Once you have worked out your benefits for who is eligible. Most students, any source (eg grants, bursaries, applicable amount you will be ready to therefore, will still be able to claim HB. sponsorships, covenants, parental do the calculation. 1988-89 in a follow (The main exceptions will be as at contributions, earnings from part-time present, those living in college halls and jobs, plus any income generated by 5) The calculation up to her article houses and most overseas students). capital under 1) above). If your income is equal to or below your If you are on a standard undergraduate applicable amount, you will be entitled earlier this term How to work out your Housing maintenance grant of £2,330, this will to maximum HB. This will be: Benefit after April 1st 1988 work out as income of £52.92 per week in 1987/88 once the amounts for books 100% of rent 1) Have you capital (ie savings, and equipment and travel have been 80% of rates property, stocks and shares etc) worth deducted. more than £6,000? If so, you will be Any earnings which you receive from If your income is above your applicable ineligible for Housing Benefit. part-time jobs will have a certain amount you must: If you have capital of £3000 or less, amounts disregarded for purposes of this Deduct 65 % of the difference between calculation. These amounts are: your applicable amount and your income from the maximum rent HB. Single claimant: £5 per week Deduct 20% of the difference from the Couple: £10 per week maximum rates HB. You'll never have it so good... Lone parent or disabled: £15 per week Example Now deduct £17.80 (this corresponds * Special student fares currently available-BOOK NOW! * with the student reduction in eligible A 20 year old undergraduate student's rent). only income is his/her grant of £52.92 per week. 3) Work out your weekly rent and rates. SPARE U5 THE from S/he pays a weekly rent exclusive of PRICE Ofl WEEKENP o/w rtn If your rent is inclusive of heating, you heating etc of £40, including rates of £10 IN CALIFORNIA GUV I New York £112 £224 will have to deduct an amount for this per week and is not one of a couple. from your rent. If you do not know how Boston £133 £266 much the heating element is, the local 1) Applicable amount: Los Angeles £164 £328 authority will deduct a standard amount in this case it will be £26.05 (currently.about £7). 2) Weekly income: San Francisco £164 £328 For calculation purposes your rent will £52.92 - £17.80 = £35.12 Miami £132 £264 be divided into rent and rates. If you do 3) Eligible income: not know how much your rates are, they £40 - £10 - £17.80 = £12.20 Chicago £133 £266 are usually 25-30% of the total rent. 4) Calculation: Dallas £132 £264 Deduct £17.80 from the rent element. Difference between Applicable Amount No deductions are made from the rates. and Income = £9.07 Entitlement to Housing Benefit Pick up our North America 4) The amount of Housing Benefit you HB for rent: Fly out lo the East Coasl — and back from the West brochure for the complete See all the Slates from a Greyhound — from £65 get will depend on the difference 100% of eligible rent £12.20 Fly around al leisure with an airpass — from £65 low down on everything Budget accommodation across the USA between your weekly income and an Less 65% of £9.07 -£ 5.89 — Irom $9 per nigh! we can do for you in the USA. Applicable Amount which is made up £ 6.31 from two elements. A service of a) A personal allowance related to HB for rates: UlU travel age; whether the claimant is claiming as 80% of rates £ 8.00 Imperial College one of a couple or not; and whether the Less 20% of £9.07 -£ 1.81 Sherfield Building claimant has children or not. £ 6.19 Prince Consort Road LONDON SW7 b) A premium related to family status, Total HB £12.50 sra disability and whether the claimant is a TheWorldbeaters OR Telephone Sales: pensioner. Intercontinental 01-581 1022 In this article, I have only been able to European 01-581 8233 2E ss His- In this article I will not quote the give a brief outline of the new scheme, Applicable Amounts for those with if you need further information please children or disabilities; please ask at the ask at the Welfare Centre at 15 Princes Welfare Centre for details. Gardens.

FELIX Friday March 11th 1988 3 When computers want to store large The law was promoted by a amounts of information, they almost widespread fear that dangerous always have to use some form of chemicals were being leaked into magnetic recording medium. public water suplies, or used as food Recently, however, optical methods additives and so on. The ogres of the have started to become more UNDER THE chemical and electronics industries common. Recent announcement* were thought to be taking a cavalier from ICI and 3M are likely to attitude to public safety. Such an accelerate the move to optical storage. attitude has been worsened by the Optical methods can pack much secretive behaviour of the offending more information into a given space companies: if they had taken the effort than magnetic devices. For example, MICROSCOPEto keep people informed then they an ordinary Compact Disk can store might never have aroused public almost a gigabyte (1,000,000,000 disapproval. bytes) of information or about 1000 The strict limits enshrined in the floppy disks' worth. This is big by Steve Black law are going to make it difficult for enough to store a large encyclopaedia some companies to operate at all and a large dictionary, indeed such (even though the Governor has things are already available for interpreted them as loosely as microcomputers. Disks cost about possible). The law effectively £100 and the drives (which can play assumes that any compound is your music CD's as well) about £500. Plastic paper for computers dangerous if it causes cancer or birth Scientists will probably use them to defects in animals at any level of distribute things like Chemical exposure. This ignores much of the Abstracts, which normally takes up tape will store about one terabyte of consternation among religious evidence suggesting that animal about three metres of bookshelf every information (this is about fifty times figures, who reckon that fiddling with experiments overestimate the danger year. A single CD is rather smaller more than the sort of magnetic tape life in this way is a breach of God's of many compounds (there are some than this and can be searched rapidly used as mass storage on mainframe copyright. However, since He forgot classic examples of this: penicillin by computer. computers; conveniently, it is about to stake his claim with the patent kills hamsters and aspirin kills cats). The trouble with CDs is that you the amount of satellite data NASA office, no legal action is possible. The law's real mistake is that it can't put your own information on expect to process every day by 1995). On the other hand, environmen- assumes that all nasties are man- them. You can get writable optical Whether digital paper will ever talists have found other legal ways to made. There are plenty of pretty discs, but they cost horrendous make its way into the microcomputer object to genetically altered beasties. horrible compounds that are perfectly amounts of money and they still market depends on how cheap laser- They have found various dodges to natural. Many food products contain cannot be erased (though when you based disk or tape drives can be made. prevent field testing of a genetically small amounts of deadly natural have a gigabyte this is rarely a Hopefully, whatever comes along will altered bacterium in California (the nasties (but not enough to do any problem). But 3M have developed an be cheap and more robust than the bug had had its genes altered to damage) that the law does nothing to erasable optical disk based on thin average floppy disk. prevent it making a protein that regulate. Anyway the biggest source films of rare earth metals. Lasers caused crop-damaging ice crystals to of man-made cancer is not the write to the disk by warming a small Patenting Life form). The environmentalists were indiscriminate efforts of the chemical spot while the disk is in a magnetic worried that a Frankenstein bug might industry, but individual choice. field. This changes the magnetic state be released that could cause more People choose to smoke tobacco and at the spot, which is detected by its trouble than it cured. to eat unhealthy diets, they are not effect on the polarisation of a weak We now know how to make forced to do either. But no laser beam. The process is reversible genetically altered animals as well as environmentalist is trying to ban and so the disks can be repeatedly bugs. But according to the American cigarettes from sale, or to force reused, just like ordinary magnetic Patent Office '.. .unauthorised acts of MacDonalds to put health warnings floppies. They estimate that the cost reproduction of patented animals on their burgers. will be about £2 per megabyte, about would seem to be an infringement of ten times cheaper than conventional patent law...'. This seems likely to Editor's Bit hard disks. cause some annoyance to farmers, One of the problems in California is Considering all this, it may seem who will have to enforce strict sexual that the scientists never bothered to strange that ICI has recently segregation on their beasts or pay tell the people what they were doing announced a new mass storage royalties on the resulting progeny. and why, so the people got medium based on paper. Well, it's not (Nature 331 p651) suspicious. Scientists have got to tell ordinary paper, but a plastic sandwich people what they are about or this sort of a dye polymer. It costs about the Cancer and the Voters of thing is bound to happen. same as good quality paper to make. The State of California held a A good place to practice is here. Information is stored by burning holes referendum last year on a law that This very space in FELIX could be in the dye using an infra-red laser. tries to completely ban carcinogenic yours. If you have a good news story The cost of information storage works chemicals from the environment. It or a good feature article, send it to out at less than lp per megabyte If the creationists are right about won overwhelming support, despite me (Chem Eng letter racks, the (compared to floppy disks at about £1 world history, then American Law opposition from scientists. FELIX Office, or phone int 4642). per megabyte for very limited insists that all farmers should be The law insists on tight control on Several people have promised me capacity). The paper can be made in paying royalties to God. chemicals known to cause cancer or features on various topics, but very vast sheets and cut into disks or long The US Patent and Tradmark birth defects (for example, companies few have, as yet, materialised. If you strips. Office has recently announced that it using nasty compounds have to post have anything, I suggest you get it to Again, it is not erasable, but it is will accept patents on genetically warnings in public places). This may me before Easter, you won't have the so cheap that hardly matters. The only altered animals and plants. Such seem reasonable, but it is the strict time afterwards. problem is that no one has built a things are now possible for ordinary definitions in the law that make it And, if anyone wants to be Science storage device based on it yet. When mortals as well as the Almighty. This dubious. They may indeed also make Editor next year, now is the time to they do, a single reel of digital paper has caused some degree of it ridiculous. start thinking about it.

4 Friday March 11th 1988 FELIX changed to negative velocity, ie, the particle does work on itself on decelerating. Of course work has to be done on the particle in the first place to accelerate the rate of recycling to unusually high levels. Alternative Perhaps the most important application of recycling is to the fossil fuel crisis. Even now, chemists the world over are searching for ways of converting paper into oil economically. So long as this can be done without burning more than one third of the paper to provide fuel for Andrew Daglish reveals the truth about paper recycling, life, the conversion this will be viable, the remaining paper being recycled using the universe and everything.... some of the oil to provide more paper than initially, and the remaining oil being sold. Ecologists are interested The truth has been revealed at last! to recycle money indiscriminately 3) the spontaneous generation in turning excess recycled paper into 'Simply recycling half the paper in (eg, Argentina, Brazil, Mexico, theory. trees. CERN has shown interest in use in the world could meet three Israel) will be the victim of rampaging The third theory is similar to the generating other elements by nuclear quarters of the demand for inflation. It becomes obvious that the first, ie, a universe constantly fission and fusion, using paper oil to 1 paper... '. Hence, by recycling all success of the Government's expanding from its centre. The power the electromagnetics initally, the paper in use in the world, 150% economic policies are due in fact to difference is that the first postulates followed by fissionable heavy paper of the demand could be met. This their success in suppressing the illegal an initial massive explosion followed elements when enough have been means that, since demand is, within recycling of paper money, something by an increasingly widespread and generated. Again this should be the limits of the Heisenberg that many governments have failed to less dense universe, whereas the third, possible within current recycling Uncertainty Principle, not going to do (eg, central European nations pictures the universe as constantly limits (a 50% increase) although some shrink to two thirds of its present level between the wars). This also accounts gently expanding, with more matter chemists have recently reported in the time it takes to recycle the for the increase in general crime: the coming continually into existence improved yields2. paper, there is a 50% increase in the police forces have been diverted to spontaneously at the centre. This is Of course, this has been and is amount of paper in existence, ie, for tracking down recyclers, who take in fact a special case of the type of being opposed by commerce, every ton, say, of paper recycled, the great pains to conceal their universe we live in. especially the paper industry, which recycler receives 1.5 tons. This has endeavours, at the expense of tracking In fact, the universe is constantly fears a vast slump in trade, and, more staggering implications. down other criminals. expanding but it has more than one sinisterly, by governments on First, on a level of vital importance Further proof of this is provided by centre, and the number is variable. economic grounds although the CIA to every student, indeed most of the history. A study of rates of inflation The centres are waste-paper recycling is known to be a proponent of population, one need never be short reveals a discontinuity which cannot machines, and each represents a recycling, to destabilise the of money again! Simply by recycling be accounted for by mere increases universe (microcosm) in its own right, economies of the target nations. The two five pound notes one will receive in prices. For many years historians with bodies orbiting it and the other KGB is believed to be behind the three in return! This should see a huge have thought this indicated the birth heavenly bodies (waste-paper baskets) economic crisis in Israel, and attempts rise in demand for paper money, but of inordinate greed in people, constantly. The case previously have been made on the South African this will have no long-term effect on otherwise known as capitalism, but postulated could well come about in one, which is more resilient due to the our forests because the required recent studies in the light of the due course in our own universe when heavy usage of gold. The Australian amount will soon be in circulation due discovery of recycling has led to the the operation has become centralised government has stated it believes itself to students spending 'excess' recycled realisation that the discontinuity in the interest of greatest economy to be the first to take steps to fully paper money. occurred at the same time as the and efficiency. insulate its economy following the However under no circumstances introduction of paper money. Of course, this all violates the introduction of plastic money earlier should this be attempted if you are However, this theory has effects conservation of mass, which was this year, but leading chemists have already in debt, since: potentially far more profound than shown to be a load of bunkum by pointed out that oil (from paper) may Final amount = (initial amount x those on mere fiscal policy; it is final Albert Einstein anyway. Recall that be converted to plastic. This, 1-5) ° when n = number of recycles. and irrevocable proof of the type of at extremely high velocities the mass however, is just forgery. Hence starting in debt only increases the amount of money one already owes, at a rate potentially far higher than anything credit card companies have yet been able to invent. It should also be noted that applying the 'recycle' principles to your cheque book will probably only result in catastrophic debt, since cheques have still to be drawn from your account. However, they could still be useful if one is the type that insists on writing cheques and one is down to one's last universe we live in. The three basic of a body tends to infinity. This could References: two cheques. theories advanced thus far were: be due to the increased rate of This in turn has important 1) the expanding universe, or 'big recycling, suggesting that each 1. Easterbrook, S, FELIX, implications on Government bang', theory particle in our universe is a 1988, 795, 6. economic policy. It is obvious that 2) the oscillating universe, or 'big microcosm. The mass is decreased to 2. Bullshot, A L L & Grummond, H any government allowing its citizens bang gnab gib' theory normal on slowing down as mass is J Scientific Discoveries, 1987, 12, 1

FELIX Friday March 11th 1988 vie\A/

remember vividly my experience of dicks—had a spare gun, which the George having a grope around the a failing stage gun. After two minutes stage manager had backstage. She codpieces. Master Snare was played STAGE on stage as a Nazi, having trained my pulled the trigger and nothing by an earnest rugby-playing bank gun on the male lead for the whole happened either. Meanwhile, back on clerk called Alan who took his masculinity very seriously. George On Tuesday March 15th, at or around of this time, I was about to trash him. stage, things are getting a bit silly. had made a number of not 7.30pm the world will be taken over With an evil smile on my face, I Phillip in a flash of inspiration starts unfavourable comparisons between by a mad scientist. With any luck, this pulled the trigger and the damned tipping the wink to the other fellow Alan and L'Escargot, the winner of will happen nightly, until the 18th thing jammed. Quick as a flash. I who, after a few words, falls flat on the 1976 Grand National. George had when the curtain falls for the last time hurled myself at the still unsuspecting his back. Phillip, with a wry smile, often tried to satisfy his curiosity in on The Physicists, this term's male lead and began choking him with spins to face the audience and says rehearsal, and Alan had always leapt production by the Dramatic Society. my left hand, beating his head with 'poisoned by God!'. That's theatre! to his feet screaming 'Oi! What's youf The Physicists has a simple plot like the gun butt and shouting obscenities. Stage fights can be a trifle game?'. The director hoped that there a Bond movie. Three really freaked- Later on, applause all round for quick hazardous too, especially if there's a would be no such repetition on the out ex-physicists are biding their time thinking, but the impression left in the bit of needle in the cast What with the night. There wasn't. Master Snare hit in a lunatic asylum by killing their audience's mind must have been 'do adrenalin of performance, anything Falstaff so hard his front plate swung nurses in order to take over the world. you think the gun didn't go off? If that can happen and on one occasion it into the air as it sailed into the front After that, comparisons with Bond guard had intended to beat that did. Again, it was Southgate Amateur row and Mistress Quickly had to pour movies are a bit stretched. There are prisoner's brains out he really should Dramatic Society who were the a flagon of mead over him so he could a couple of guns, an evil villain and have come on with a mace.' perpetrators. continue the scene. That's theatre! a couple of fights. There is also a No such problems with Phillip This was that stupid scene in one particularly blinding love scene and Stevens' performance in the Agatha of those Fling Henry's where Falstaff So come along and see The quite a few good gags, but you never Christie thriller put on by Southgate had been given to George Bailey, a Physicists. There's no guarantee find these in Bond films. Amateur Dramatic Society. Phillip, retired actor, who ran five you'll get your wing-wang felt, but you'll have a good laugh, and you As director of the play, the first the evil villain, was about to trash hairdressing salons, a couple of never know, if you meet some of the three have been more than enough some toad, so he pulled the trigger, boutiques and, as was revealed in the cast before the show, you might be trouble for me. Guns are enormously no bang; Southgate Amateur Dramtic Sunday national papers some weeks able to appreciate the play's effective stage props; they look evil, Society—no beginners at the art of later, a small child prostitution ring. Aristotlean structure, but only if we actors look evil with one, but only standing up in front of a lot of local The Director who thought a little let you. See you on the night. occasionally do they make the evil dignitaries with make-up on and drunken rough and tumble would noise they were intended for. I looking and sounding like total liven the scene up, hadn't counted on Richard Debris.

Wimbledon are the only top flight their fans. Injuries have not helped things have gone very wrong since team never to have graced Brent's and their desperate search for a striker then. Tottenham to grab the trois FOOTBALLnumbe r one ground. They reached to partner Cottee is a real sob story points. It is the quarter final of the FA Cup this round last year for the first time saga. A dismal draw against Oxford Millwall vs Crystal Palace this week, the last home advantage after smashing Everton, but a bad last week only typified things, Stuart The Den (New Cross tube) round and only two wins to Wembley. performance against Spurs ruined Robson being the only light. I think This is a much awaited game of the I must apologise for an error last week them. A good win, although not that the Hammers will get done, for day in the second division between concerning Liverpool's fixtures. This exciting, against Luton gave the Dons a change.... two promotion hopefuls from the was due to false information from a grounding for this week, with that capital. This division is really hotting Bryan 'Pompey Biker' Pitts. There man Fashanu notching up number Chelsea vs Everton up with play-off places wide open. are incredibly eight matches in eighteen. Watford sit at the bottom of Stamford Bridge (Fulham Bdy tube) These sides are third and fourth, so London including five all first the first division and should really be John Hollins' job at the Bridge is most this is a real six-pointer. Millwall division games. concentrating on keeping their top definitely on the line, and without a league status instead of flirting with victory since Halloween, times are could only manage a draw at Shrewsbury last week whereas Palace Arsenal vs Nottingham Forest Cup exploits. Wimbledon should more than hard. They were 2-0 up picked up maximum points at home, Highbury (Arsenal tube) make history and roar into the semis away at Coventry last week but still Wright getting one more; that's 21 This is the tie of the round involving and then go one step further. only came away with a draw. The now. This will be a real ding-dong two of the top five teams with a strong league champions are twenty points battle and a prediction is only for the chance of a Wembley victory. Leyton Orient vs Colchester off the top and this must really hurt. brave. A draw! Arsenal are already there in the Brisbane Road (Leytdn tube) They were knocked out of three cups Littlewoods Cup and after last week's Orient lost again last week and their in eight days recently, so their season 2-1 win over near neighbours Spurs promotion hopes seem to be going a is certainly over. They scraped a 1-0 Brentford vs Bury and the exceptional form of Michael burton. They are ten points off the top win at home to Newcastle last week Griffin Park (Brentford Central) Thomas, they must hope for a win. and must finish well to grab a top to keep up a slight challenge. I think Steve Perryman's Brentford have Forest haven't won the Cup for 29 three spot. Colchester are mid-table Everton will take the points but thrown away any slight promotion years and Brian Clough has never and lost at home to lowly Wrexham Chelsea might make them run for it. hopes they might have had, finalising taken a team along Wembley way in on Friday night. Frank Clark must be in a 4-2 defeat at Walsall last week. the greatest football competition in the hopeful of the points here and he Tottenham vs Norwich I remember Bury (the shortest club world. Cloughie's men kept up their shouldn't be disappointed. White Hart Lane (Seven Sisters tube) name in the league) losing 10-0 to league challenge with a win at Two mid-table sides play for points West Ham and are now having a Sheffield Wednesday last week, Neil Charlton vs West Ham not prizes with Norwich being the mediocre season. They have ex- Webb's goal fueling more speculation Selhurst Park (Selhurst BR) more eager to win, needing the points international Sammy Mcllroy and old of a transfer to Italy. I am going to Charlton gained a valuable point at to pull away from relegation danger. baldy Noel Brotherstone in their plump for a draw, probably 1-1. Derby last week but their survival bid Spurs lost on TV last week and look squad. Brentford to pick up at least seems impossible. They look set to OK but a little disjointed, Bobby a point. Wimbledon vs Watford return to the Valley next year, their Mimms in goal having an awful Plough Lane (Wimbledon Park tube) old ground may give the team a new game. The Canaries beat Manchester My last four for the Cup The Windies had the three W's, well goal to savour. West Ham have a very United last week with Scot recruit Liverpool, Arsenal (just, maybe after this game pits together two of the first talented side but have been hoying Robert Fleck banging home the a replay or two), Wimbledon and division's three W's in a Cup clash. some steady crap recently towards winner. After a good season last year, Luton. (Bye, bye Pompey).

FELIX 6 Friday March 11th 1988 KORFBALL HOCKEY Going to seed Six of the best

British Student Championships After Brighton defeated Oxford for Six-a-side hockey is a game played on the best goal of the tournament, a flick On February 27 London University third place, the scene was set for the a full size pitch but with only six over his left shoulder and a sweet half Korfball Team (including six players final everyone was expecting: London players, it is similar in style to seven- volley, into the right hand corner of from Imperial) travelled to Sheffield versus York. York scored, a-side rugby, requiring a high level the goal. The crowd went wild. I was for the British Student immediately with a long shot, of fitness and tactical ability, at least unable to see their semi-final against Championships. Seeded first, they although London soon equalised. The that's the theory. IC sent two sides to QMC I, who are IC's main rivals for completed early victories against game then slowed from its initial the ULU sixes tournament (Sunday the ULU League title this year, but Bulmarsh College (who?) 8-0, frantic pace, with Catherine Foster March 6), a first team and an 'all star' it was at this stage that they stepped Sheffield University 11-1 and and Jacky Knowles (IC) playing second team. The early games were up a gear, scoring 3 good goals and Lancaster University 8-1. UL then brilliantly in defence to prevent York on a divisional round robin system, totally out-classing their opposition. faced third favourites Brighton, last using their strong girls for goals, and 4 divisions made up of the 20 teams And so to the final against QMC's old year's winners, started well with an the whole team settling into a more taking part. IC all stars drew their first boys who included a present IC early goal and ruffled UL who took tactical game. UL scored goals game against St George's Medical undergraduate Brendan Farmer. School and then went downhill not their time to find an equaliser. Goals through Helen Grainger, top scorer IC went in front early through a winning a game, were exchanged quickly and at half- of the tournament, Russell Norton goal from Vamedevan, who had been time UL turned around leading 3-2. (IC) and Patrick Wright (IC) and Meanwhile however IC 1st were curiously quiet before and then had By the second half UL had regained turned around at 4-3. At no point in doing a little better beating Charing several more very good chances to their rhythm and two well-worked the game was there a difference of Cross by 3-1 with a couple of good seal it in the first half but failed to find running-in shots produced goals. more than one goal, and violent goals from Paul Skipworth and one the net. Into the second half it became Brighton rallied again but UL kept defence from all combined with from the dynamic Hari Vamadevan. more a game of attrition with few control and ran out winners 6-3 in a controlled attacking which resulted in Sound defensive play by Guilds . chances and some very hard tackling keenly contested game. a 6-5 lead to UL with three minutes ensured a 0-0 draw and 6 very from both sides, but the result was In the semi-finals UL faced Oxford left to play. Conscious of the frustrated players. IC went on to win never really in doubt. The final University, and, after a tentative start, barracking UL received for time- their group winning 3 out of 4 games whistle went and IC were champions. UL romped home by 10-2. The game wasting at an earlier tournament, UL and 1 draw. There were however a Sources close to the side decribed was no preparation for the final, continued to attack defensively. The few tense moments, particularly when their performance as 'masterful' and which cannot be said of the other last three minutes were played at such John Stonham scored in a tight game quotes like 'we're all stars' were semi-final. By common consensus the a pace that no one really noticed the against St Thomas's II, a good goal audible in the bar afterwards. My game between Brighton and York was final whistle go. Relief! We'd scored in injury time and one he'll no juvenile little quips aside, it was a the most exciting student game seen regained our lost title, but it was just doubt keep reminding us of. In the last very good victory, something we've for a long time. too close! eight IC palyed RHBNC II who they not managed recently despite very defeated 2-0 in a game which they good sides in the last couple of years. RIFLE AND PISTOL always had the upper hand in. Of It must in the end go down as a team particular note was an aerial shot from result although a couple of players. the hard working Justin Brooking John Stonham and Paul Skipworth. which set up a good goal for Paul were outstanding and occasionally Such a card Skipworth. who also scored possibly brilliant. BASKETBALL SAILING

Wednesday March 2, the date for the A good all round performance by Rifle and Pistol Club's match against the team of Paul Deeks, Andrew Reading University. The first part of James, Ian Draper, Mike Lacey, Inadequate Crew cut the match was to be rifle and shot over Nigel Ford, Roger Winskill, Ann- two cards. After the first card time Marie Bruinsma, James Primrose The OSC All Stars have won the first IC vs Eyesores was running short so the second card giving a final score of: International Week Basketball Last Saturday. IC sailing team raced wasn't shot and the scores on the first Tournament after beating Greece against Eyesores at the Welsh Harp card were doubled. With the best six IC 2040 86-55 in the final, while IC Basketball Reservoir in Wembley. Although IC scores counting this gave a fairly close Reading 1370 conquered the 3rd place by defeating were sailing well, they were narrowly score out of 1200 of: Cyprus 54-32. beaten in the morning races b\ A little bit upset at being so soundly All the games were of unusually Eyesore's superior racing. However Reading 1098 beaten Reading then challenged us to good quality for British universities, after a change of helms IC managed IC 1122 a rifle match against their 'A' team due to the very professional attitude to improve their performance. Some to be shot at Bisley and Reading. This of all the teams, referees and officials. stunning sailing b\ Sam Pace, sadly A quick substitution of Mike Lacey will be shot next term so look out for It is a shame that the College does not handicapped bv her inexperienced for Anne-Marie set us up for the pistol the report. have an adequate gym with the crew helped 1L^ to pull ahead of part of the match. This too was shot minimum required size or. at least, Eyesore's team. Consistent sailing b\ over two cards, the best six to count. Finally, there are still a few places that the necessary equipment is not Jenny Burton then brought IC level Good performances by Paul Deeks, available for our trip to Bisley on properly maintained and cleaned. with Eyesore, her crew. the captain, Ian Draper and Roger Winskill and Wednesday March 16. If you are The full results were as follows: proved to be rather argumentative and scores of 9 and 13 out of 100 by interested (and a member) come down Monday Feb 29 hindered Jenny's beautiful helming so Reading giving pistol scores out of to the range and sign up. If you're IC Basket-38 Greece-52 teams were once again changed. 1200 of: interested in learning to shoot we OSC All Stars-86 Cyprus-38 IC then raced ahead, and thanks to always welcome new members and Thursday March 3 Ape sailing the correct course, finally Reading 274 will be quite happy to teach you the Cypus-32 IC Basket-54 beat the Evesores in the last races. IC 918 basics so come and join. OSC All Stars-86 Greece-55

FELIX Friday March 11th 1988 1 Revi Someone to Watch Over Me Someone to Watch Over Me is another in a batch of recently released sex- MM. related thrillers such as Fatal Attraction, No Way Out and Stakeout, and it suffers from comparison with Barfly (cert 18) the rest of the pack. It hasn't the Barfly starts with a fight and ends with excitement of Fatal Attraction, has a fight. Anything could have none of the intrigue of No Way Out happened in the middle and the result and can't match Stakeout for humour. would have been exactly the same. Having said this, it is the maturist Henry Chinaski (Mickey Rourke) attempt amongst the bunch, and deals is a society drop-out who prefers the with morality better than Fatal low life of seedy downtown LA to the Attraction ever pretended to; if not as 'unreality' of the outside world. His well as was possible. This makes it life revolves around the bottle and he more of a pity that it doesn't work, is at his happiest when attempting to as there has recently been a dearth of beat his enemy, Eddie the bartender, well-written adult-oriented films into a pulp. Understandably these which also manage to entertain as well fights do not satisfy his artistic needs as occupy the mind (a la Angel Heart so in his spare time he writes poetry and Mona Lisa). and short stories. Enter Wanda (Faye Dunaway) a The story concerns itself with the very cynical drunk who is a bit crazy. relationship between a newly Naturally they fall in love, albeit a promoted cop (Tom Berenger, last strange kind of love, thriving as it seen in Platoon) and a witness to a does on infidelity, violence and abuse Henry is stark and coarse. He is fat then and she comes back clamouring brutal murder (Mimi Rogers) that (Wanda must be the most bloodthristy and greasy, a modern-day Quasimodo for more. Berenger is protecting, and how this handbag wielder in cinema history). without the social graces. 'Why do Very little else happens. The relationship is threatening Berengers marriage to his cop-wife (a show- Barfly is a strange mixture which you act like a bum?' asks Tully performances are good but the film stealing performance by Lorraine leaves you puzzled at times. It is not Sorenson, a rich literary editor, is altogether too low-key for there to Bracco). typical of the glossy production 'Because I am a bum,' replies be much else to appreciate. Ultimately audiences are used to these days, Rourke. The part must have been it disappoints because so little happens The problem is that although the reminding one more of a low budget written for him. and everyone seems quite happy director, Ridley Scott (of Alien, Blade remnant from the early seventies with The idea of reconciling this image about the fact, especially Henry who Runner and Legend) knows how to the music of Booker T and the MGs with that of a sensitive writer is asking celebrates his lack of achievement by make a film look good, he doesn't and a yellow tinge to the film. too much. Likewise, it is impossible picking a fight with Eddie. develop the relationship between the Whereas there was a kind of glamour to believe that the attractive, refined Don't waste more than £2 on a working-class Berenger and the high- in Mickey Rourke's sleaziness in Tully Sorenson should fall for his Monday night to see this one. class Rogers with enough conviction. Angel Heart, here there is none. charm, or lack of it. Henry beds her Steve Roberts. It originally resembles Bob Hoskins and Cathy Tyson's mis-matched love- hate encounter in Mona Lisa (especially when it rips-off the 'lower- class man who doesn't know how to look classy getting bought clothes by the rich fashion-concious women' routine). However it improves as the emotions simmer below the surface, and Berengers wife can detect the SHOWING change in him, but it finally collapses to a level barely above soap opera, as a weak script finally manages to bring Fatal Attraction (cert 18) it down. If you can cope with the initial tedium The action side is handled more of this film while it (very slowly) confidently as a villan looking like a builds up to the exciting if predictable psychopathic Victor Mature brings a climax then you'll probably come out tension to his scenes, that the rest of feeling that it deserves its six Oscar right, its style and execution the picture sorely lacks. And it is nominations. I couldn't and didn't, No Way Out (cert 15) especially, and though I found it reassuring to see the grimy streets of but that puts me in a minority of one. A spy thriller, set almost entirely in perhaps a touch too long, it is no New York back in the thriller after See it for yourself. the Pentagon, with brilliant surprise to see it is still showing in a period of neglect, but not even they performances by Kevin Costner and Leicester Square after three months. can detract your attention from the Robocop (cert 18) Hine Hackman. The nail-biting finish fact that the plot aspires to the level of a run-of-the-mill cop-show. Possibly the most violent movie due will have you on the edge of your White Mischief (cert 18) out this year, and no doubt the biggest seat, and the final scene is a real A fairly pointless film based quite There are treats for the eye hype. A shocking version of 'the stinger. loosely on a true story of murder (especially when the smoke machines future of law enforcement', amongst the upper-middle classes go into overtime for the night scenes) destruction interspersed with black Cry Freedom (cert PG) during their African holiday. Any of and treats for the ear (i.e. Sting's humour, sadness and a series of Attenborough's poignant study of you planning a visit to see Greta rendition of the title song during the emotionally disturbing scenes. The apartheid in South Africa, Scaachi romping nude for an hour— credits), but I left wishing that they'd only thing our hero can't deal with is concentrating on the story of Donald you'll be quite disappointed. been something more for me to watch the business politics which created Woods and his friendship with Steven Andrew Clarke over. him. Biko. Everything about this film is Noel Curry

8 Friday March 11th 1988 FELIX lews MUSIC

The title 'Cuba' may lend your Luxuria record collection a bit of credibility Woodenfoot Cops on the The Fall Unanswerable Lust though. HMV Oxford Circus Howard Devoto, tx-Buzzcocks and (Ediesta) Highway-The Woodentops This appearance was rather unusual Magazine frontman is in partnership If you have ever seen the Woodentops for The Fall who aren't associated with guitarist Noko in his latest The Lilac Time live you'll know the energy that Rolo with commercialism. The store was venture Luxuria. Well this is typical Indie pop, light and his chums can generate. Energy full of people packed in between the I'm glad to see he still retains his and frothy, but unusually the vocals that was not really captured on their racks of Bruce Springsteen CDs. rare grasp of the English language. are very strong making this rather first slab of vinyl 'Giant'. This time They played six tracks five from the These songs are narrated rather than good. Their style reminds me of however the boys have come good. 'Frenz Experiment' (Beggars sung in a whining drawl. Side A Deacon Blue charting at present with 'Woodenfoot Cops ' is proof Banquet) and one I'd not heard contributes nothing being too 'Dignity', I'm sure the singer is that dance music can be tuneful and before. After a little touble with the grandiose and pompous. Steven Duffy, responsible for the hit doesn't have to be cribbed (ie microphones the full blast of Mark E Side B contains all that is worth 'Kiss Me' a few years ago. sampled) from James Brown. But Smith's vocals were released, these listening to. 'Celebrity' is the most The best track is 'Return to that's not to say that its dated at all, overlay the repetitive guitar riffs to outstanding with its flashing guitar, Yesterday' which is infuriatingly Rolo is definitely moving with the create a hypnotic effect. Hecklers Mile however is a bit over the top catchy and was I think available on times—this man's no stick-in-the- shouting out for their favourite songs lyrically—quoting Marcel Proust! a single. 'Rockland' is a bit of social mud. were put down with the reply 'never Luxuria are playing the Town and political criticism, but delivered up in The surprise track of the album is heard of that one'. Country Club on March 13, which is this style will anyone notice? I doubt 'Wheels Turning' which has a wailing I'm not sure everyone appreciated definitely worth going to. it. heavy-metal guitar over that the humour of some of the songs, the (Beggars Banquet) (Swordfish) Woodentops' acoustic strum. The start of 'Carry Bag Man' being highlight for me though is the single hysterically funny but provoking little Silos Pink Peg Slax 'You Make Me Feel'. A juicy pedal reaction. Cuba 12 Songs Never Recorded by steel guitar and beautiful lyrics If you missed this go and see them The Silos it would appear from the Frank Sinatra combine to produce a truly heavenly at Hammersmith Odeon on March 18, sleeve, (which also depicts a nude Similar to a number of bands, The song. even if it is only for the experience. man playing guitar on the reverse) Chevalier Brothers and The Jivin' Oh yes, last week's review of F.A.B. hail from the USA. I'm afraid to say Instructors spring to mind, this is pure Cleveland contained a comparison to that the sleeve is the most exciting Rock 'n' Roll. If your taste is for McCarney (who's he?). Thankfully part of this album. Drawling honky-tonk piano, R 'n' R guitSr and they sound nothing at all like the American vocals combine with simple a thumping double-bass this will go aforementioned; it should have read guitar riffs and a monotonous drum down very well. McCarthy, the jangle-popsters from beat to produce an almost wimpish A band worth going to see because South London. But then you all knew sound. Bands like this have British of the atmosphere at a gig which can't that, didn't you? equivalents in Indie acts of The be captured on vinyl. Brad Blundell Chesterfields ilk. (Ediesta) Platoon Oliver Stone's Oscar-winning story of one young boy's experiences in Vietnam. Possibly the best attempt since The Deer Hunter and certainly not just another war film. Touches of humour and some stunning The Living Daylights camerawork make this a must. Timothy Dalton's first attempt surpasses all previous Bond movies Raw Deal by a long chalk. Action, adventure, There are no cyborgs, alien hunters an Aston Martin and Marian d'Abo. or cavemen in this film. There's no What more could you ask for? A acting either. Schwarzenegger attacks clever plot to keep you guessing right the film with his 'let's just have some to the end. That's in there somewhere fun because I can't act' attitude, too. reminiscent of Commando. He also The Secret of My Success attacks most other things in sight. A simple story of everyday folk. The Fly Country boy meets city girl, they fall Jeff Goldblum, co-starring with an in love, and in the intervening anonymous insect, in a remake of the moments they take over a sixties horror movie of the same multinational company. It could name. The humour comes almost as happen to you or me. Packed with thick and fast as the gore, in typical humour, and very enjoyable, yet Cronenberg style. Don't be fooled— shallow in comparison to Michael J this is a love story, and your heart will Fox's two major successes, Back to flutter when your stomach isn't the Future and the Pepsi commercial. churning. Andrew Clarke

FELIX Friday March 11th 1988 9 What's On IC CathSoc Mass 12.30pm. Chemistry 231. Quiet and contemplation between lectures or exams. Food provided (50p). All FRIDAY welcome. Boardsailing 12.30pm. Regular meeting in Southside Lounge Rag Meeting 72.35pm. to organise trips. Every second Friday. Union Lounge. All Welcome. Ski Club 12.45pm. Above Southside Bar, sign up for Conservative lessons and recreational skiing. Soc Meeting 12.30pm. ME 569. Lunch Hour Debate 1.00pm. Tang Soodo 4.00pm. Parachute Club Mech Eng 220. 'This house believes Circuit Union Gym. Beginners welcome. £1 Meeting.*. 12.30pm. Britain needs South Africa' proposed Training 12.30pm. members. Union Lower Lounge. See Max Hunt by Mr Jan Castelyn from the South Union Gym with Cross Country and von Herbing (Chairman). African Embassy. Athletics Club. Everyone welcome. Folk Club Singaround 7.00pm. Free. Union SCR. Open to musicians, singers and enthusiasts. Free. Orienteering 12.30pm. Brown/Green Committee Room (top The Saturday floor of Union Building). Rock Show 8.00pm. Arrangements for following Sunday's IC Radio (999 kHz). Hard rock music event. presented by Kamal Kaushal. Debating Society 1.00pm. Level 2, Physics Common Room. SUNDAY Islamic Prayer 1.00pm. The Union Building. See Islamic Wargames Society. Meeting 1.00pm. Senior Common Room. Christian Union Meeting 6.00pm. QT Soc Meeting 1.00pm. OHC 308 Computing. 'Who needs the Artsoc Meeting 12.30pm. Southside Upper Lounge (or Pizza family?' MONDAY SCR Union. Come to sign up and pay your money for tickets for forth- Bar). Plot-hatching extravaganza! Into the Night 7.00pm. Guilds Motor Club all day coming events, eat biscuits and drink New members welcome. STOIC. Films, videos, chat, Cadwell Park, Lincolnshire. Circuit coffee. Free to members (membership Amnesty Meeting 1.30pm. 'Countdown'. On all the televisions in trip—see Jon Stout today if you are £1.50). Elec Eng Foyer. No boring gits the Halls of Residence. interested. Recitation of allowed. FREE. See Guy Simms ICSF Video 7.00pm. ICCAG AGM 12.30pm. Holy Qur'an 1.00pm. (Maths 2) or Monique Yeo. Union SCR. ICSF present 'Dark Star'. Rag Office. Please come along and 9 Prince's Gardens. See Islamic Holy Qur'an 30p to members. vote. Society. Recitation 1.30pm. Guilds Motor Rock Soc Golf Practice 5.30pm. Prayer Room. See Islamic Society. Club 7.00pm. Meeting 12.30pm. Union Gym. See Golf Club. Islamic Circle 5.30pm. Kart Garage. Scrutineering for Southside Upper Lounge. Interested in Prayer Room. See Islamic Society. tonight's rally. any form of rock? Come along! Intermediate Ballroom 7.00pm. Wine Tasting 6.00pm. JCR. 80p. See Dance Club. Union SCR. A tasting of white and Shotokan red wines from the Bourgogne. Karate 7.00pm. £2.50. Southside Gym. Beginners welcome. Canoe Club 6.30pm. El. Meet in Beit Quad for training session Beginners in swimming pool. Ballroom 8.00pm. Judo 6.30pm. JCR. 80p. See Dance Club. Union Gym. Sorry—no more Tang Soo Do 9.00pm. beginners. Southside Gym. Beginners welcome. Rocky Horror 7.00pm. £1.00 members. ME220. See article on club's page for full details. TUESDAY Caving Club ICSO Concert 8.00pm. Curry Soc 12.30pm. Meeting 7.00pm. Great Hall. 'The Nutcracker Suite' Weekly meeting. Southside Upper Guinness & Gossip 12.30pm. Southside Upper Lounge. plus works by Brahms and Hoist. Lounge. Sailing Club meeting above Stan's. Advanced Tickets £2.50, £1.50 (students), £1 Ballroom 7.00pm. (advance). JCR. 80p. See Dance Club 'The Physicists' 7.30pm. An Imperial College Drama Society SATURDAY production. See article for details. £2. Tennis Club Coaching 10.00am. IC Radio 8.00pm. Imperial College Tennis Courts. Psychedelic & Indie Show. £1.50. Improvers Shotokan Ballroom 8.00pm. Karate 10.00am. JCR. 80p. See Dance Club. Southside Gym. Beginners welcome. £1. Canoe Club Meeting 8.30pm.

10 Friday March 11th 1988 FELIX w Dieiry

Tang Soodo 4.00pm. Beginners (donations welcome). See Guy Simms Above Southside Bar. Union Gym. Beginners welcome. £1 Ballroom 8.00pm. (Maths 2) or Monique Yeo. Dai Rocking 9.00pm. members. JCR. 80p. See Dance Club. IC Radio (999kHz). The best in hard Newsbreak I.OOpm. Tang Soo Do 9.00pm. rock and not-so-hard rock music STOIC. IC's own news programme. Southside Gym. Beginners welcome. including the featured album every SFSOC Libary SUNDAY £1.00 members. week with Dave Williams. Meeting I.OOpm. Green Committee Room, Union Wargames Building. Borrow books from our vast Meeting 1.00pm. TUESDAY WEDNESDAY library, help plan future events. Senior Common Room. Members only. Christian Sailing 12.30pm. Union 8.15am. Lunch Hour Concert 1.30pm. Meet outside Southside. Chemistry 231. See Steve Clark, The Music Room, 53 Princes Gate. MONDAY Christian Union. S.L.A.G.S. Meeting 12.30pm. Margaret Fingerhut (piano). Rock Soc Society for Lesbian and Gay Students Guinness & Gossip 12.30pm. Arabic Classes 1.30pm. Meeting 12.30pm. meets in the Green Committee Room Sailing Club meeting above Stan's. (top floor Union Building). Come along Prayer Room. See Islamic Society. Southside Upper Lounge. Interested in any form of rock? Come along! IC CathSoc Mass 12.30pm. for a chat if you don't mind people Gliding Club Chemistry 231. Quiet and thinking you're going to a Wargames Meeting 5.30pm. Curry Soc 12.30pm. contemplation between lectures or Society meeting! Aero 254. Arrange trial flights, lifts to Weekly meeting. Southside Upper exams. Food provided (50p). All Lasham, talks and then to the bar. Lounge. Ski Club 12.30pm. welcome. Above Southside Bar. Meet for trip to dry ski slope for lessons and Boardsailing 12.30pm. recreational skiing. Bring gloves and Regular meeting in Southside Lounge thick socks. to organise trips. Golf Meeting 1.00pm. Ski Club 12.45pm. Sudbury. Regular weekly meeting. Above Southside Bar, sign up for lessons and recreational skiing. Caving Club Meeting I.OOpm. QT Soc Meeting 1.00pm. Union Snack Bar. Southside Upper Lounge (or Pizza Bar). Plot-hatching extravaganza! Wargames Meeting 1.00pm. Newsbreak. ,.6.00pm. Artsoc Meeting 12.30pm. New members welcome. Senior Common Room. STOIC. SCR Union. Come to sign up and pay your money for tickets for forth- Amnesty Meeting 1.30pm. Beginners Rock n Roll 2.15m. Film 7.00pm. coming events, eat biscuits and drink Elec Eng Foyer. No boring gits Union Dining Hall. 80p. See Dance Mech Eng 220. Eddie Murphy and coffee. Free to members (membership allowed. FREE. See Guy Simms Club. Brigitte Nielsen in 'Beverly Hills Cop £1.50). (Maths 2) or Monique Yeo. Shotokan 2'. A foot-tapping, lip-smacking, Karate 3.00pm. finger-licking, mind-blowing, crazy Southside Gym. Beginners welcome. film. 50p members, £1 non-members. £1. See IC Filmsoc. Offbeat Practice 3.15pm. 'The Physicists' 7.30pm. Union Dining Hall. 80p. See Dance An Imperial College Drama Society Club. production. See article in FELIX for details. £2. ULU Meditation Group 7.00pm. ULU Lesbian Gay Room 3A, University of London Group 7.30pm. Union, Malet Street. Traditional ULU Building, Malet Street (Russell breathing meditation. Everyone Sq. tube). For speakers and booze welcome. No charge. and if you're feeling adventurous a trip out to nightclub or pub 'The Physicists' 7.30pm. afterwards. An Imperial College Drama Society production. See article in FELIX for ICCAG Soup Run 9.15pm. details. £2. Weeks Basement Hall. Contact Liz Warren (Chem Eng 2).

FRIDAY

Orienteering 12.30pm. Brown/Green Committee Room (top floor of Union Building). Arrangements for following Sunday's event. Islamic Prayer 1.00pm. The Union Building. See Islamic Society. Into the Night 7.00pm. STOIC. Films, videos, chat, Ij/ i— I I I ; ~TT -| 'Countdown'. On all the televisions in the Halls of Residence. X-C Union Concert fMl THURSDAY SATURDAY Shotokan March is—lb-It- Amnesty Letter Stall I.OOpm. Karate 10.00am. 7Kk€TS /9-00 JCR. The best thing to happen to the Southside Gym. Beginners welcome. icos JCR since the Big Bang. FREE £1.

FELIX Friday March 11th 1988 11 ELIX Ml

ELECTRICAL ENGINEERING DANCE CLUB calming influence over his partner's emotional performance both on and off the floor. The stage was now set for the The Elec Eng Revue The result of the Dance Club's efforts Southern Universities Competition so far this term have been somewhat being held at Cardiff. The final results varied due to the rather did not match those anticipated but a 'unpredictable' judging experienced high proportion of our couples made at the South Universities Ball. it through the semi-finals. Having said that, it has been an Neil McCluskey and Dinah exceptional year in terms of the Woodhurst had their revenge for the number of people competing for the previous week's results and danced to Club. first place in the Jive with David This upsurge in interest resulted in Barker and Alice Jacques giving an the need for three teams, each having inspired performance to get a third four couples, many of them placing. In the Cha-Cha-Cha Thomas newcomers this year, and puts the Puetz and Joanne Wade, a new Club in a strong position for the partnership this year, came fourth and coming year. also won the Newcomers Trophy for The National Students' Rock 'n' this event though Joanne's artificial Roll Competition was held at Imperial fan gave the impression that she was this year and proved to be a very entering the final stages of some successful event. Defending national tropical disease. champions Neil McCluskey and Special mention must go to Hugh Dinah Woodhurst (Imperial College) Hamilton and his partner Shuko were 'dethroned' by Steve Mercer Noguch who beat both A and B team and Nicky Stanmore, also from couples into the semi-finals and also Imperial College, who after hours of won the Newcomers Trophy for the dedicated practice, gave a very Waltz. convincing and in some place breath- taking performance to take first place, with Neil and Dinah coming second. Questions: Which London show last Dean, Head of Department and A few weeks later a full team week attracted more ticket touts than academics sat helpless as shaft after travelled up to Hull to take part in a Les Miserables and Phantom put shaft of wit were played out at their warm-up competition before the together? Was it really true that some expense. After this irresponsible Southern Universities Ball. Elec Eng Revue tickets were changing outburst by members of staff and The evening belonged to Steve hands at three or four times their face student sketches were no more Mercer and Nicky Stanmore who value inspite of the efforts of Beit complementary. Culture was were placed first in both the Jive and security to break up the racketeering? mercifully injected into the rowdy Rock 'n' Roll competitions. Well, that was as maybe—the fact proceedings by the talented staff Newcomers to the Club Jason Woo was that the Electrical Engineering string quartet who added chamber and Lily Saw came third in both the Department's Revue of 1988 was the music to an evening of chamber-pot Cha-Cha-Cha and Rock 'n' Roll sort of occasion at which Fergie humour. Even Duncan 'stand up' events but, unfortunately for the herself would have wanted to be seen. Royle in his contribution stooped to Club, were unavailable on the night The anonymous undergraduates who telling jokes about bewildered toads of the Southern Ball. were willing to pay the exorbitant and ejaculations. An inspired performance by the ticket prices for this charity bash were A great time was Had by all and members of the B team who went into provided with food, drink, top class many thanks must go to all the people the competition one couple short, variety and the chance to mingle with who helped set up and tidy up and to secured them the'B team trophy for anybody who is (was) anybody within the student and staff performers who which many thanks must go to The evening ended very well for City & Guilds. were pathetically brilliant. Richard Seymour who provided a Imperial when they successfully defended their Off-Beat title with a FILMSOC thigh-slapping country and western AXEL FOLEY IS BACK. style performance to that Doris Day BACK WHERE HE DOESNT BELONG. classic 'Whip-Crack-Away'. He's back! Thoughts now turn to the Inter Varsity Ball being held at Liverpool Eddie Murphy is back as Axel Foley. EDDIE MURPHY on March 12 and whether or not the Quick to answer the call of his old B.EVEJ2IXJHILLS Off-Beat team can repeat their Beverly Hills buddies, Rosewood and winning performance and retain the Taggart, he's up against Brigitte title for the second year running. Nielsen, illegal arms dealers and a This report would be incomplete series of robberies known as 'The without thanking Max Kallios and THE HEAT'S BACK ON! Alphabet Crimes'. With music by Sartaz Ahmed who, with literally a Bob Seger, Harold Faltermeyer and couple of hours tuition, completed the many more, and shot at Playboy C team Cha-Cha-Cha and managed to Mansion West it's sure to be action get through to the second heat—could packed, so see you in Mech Eng 220 this be the beginning of an invincible at 7pm on Thursday March 17. Only I? partnership for next year and the start £1 non-members, 50p members, of Max's infatuation with tight black membership available. cat-suit bottoms?

12 Friday March 11th 1988 FELIX lety Rage CHOIR Choir tackles Verdi despite Bulow's comdemnation

When Verdi presented his Requiem orchestra. The hushed mystical in Vienna in 1874, the German tranqulity of the opening contrasts composer Hans von Bulow with later whirls of sound, torrents of condemned the work to such an extent brass and booms from the bass drum that Brahms was moved to study it evocative of the horrors of the final 'Bulow', he proclaimed, 'has made an Day of Judgement. ass of himself; Verdi's Requiem is a Verdi initially performed the work work of genius.' in Milan with a choir of 120, but a Verdi was prompted to write the choir of 12,000 sang when he reached work by the death of a friend the the Albert Hall on tour in 1875. The novelist Manzoni in 1873. The work Requiem is shortly to return to South is highly theatrical. The dramatic Kensington in the proportions of the music alienated many to whom a original performance IC Choir with Requiem should be an affair of a full orchestra will be bringing the sombre sadness and austerity. Most work to you in the Great Hall on listeners respond to its vibrant Friday March 18 at 8pm, so you can grandeur, drama and sincerity. The judge it for yourselves. Tickets are work contains huge variations in available from the Haldane Library, colour and mood, and is highly from Choir members or on the door. demanding for both the choir and It'll certainly be a lively evening! CHINESE CHESS (more than 25 countries at present), from left-wing, right-wing and non- SCI Fl SOC aligned countries as Amnesty is Fame and totally apolitical. Please come along and give us your support by sponsoring us and/or by signing a Horror rocks ICSF fortune? letter, petitions and postcards! Do you want to run the most If you would like to take part in the Rocky Horror Picture Show Lounge for those of such inclinations! prestigious society in the whole of Write-a-thon (not necessarily for all Tues March 15, 7pm, ME220 All included in the ridiculously low College? Do you want to become a of the 8 hours) please contact Guy No need for any introduction to this ticket price of £1ICSF/RCS members famous personality around College Sims, Maths 2 for sponsorship forms. film! Every year ICSF have shown (bring ID), £1.50 rest of the world, and have your name etched the full and glorious Rocky Horror add 25p each if not in costume. prominently into the history of this FOLK SOC with rampant audience participation, Also, tonight ICSF are showing— institution? and this year we combine with RCS by incredible popular demand—Dark If so, you won't be interested to Ents to present the absolutely full Star (on video) in the SCR at 7pm, know that Chinese Chess Society Sing-a-longa thing, Rocky Horror with audience entry 30p to members. If you've requires five people to run it next year participation (details available), never seen this film, catch it now at and the posts of chair, vice-chair, reductions for suitable costume and this bargain price. treasurer, secretary and publicity a party afterwards in the Union officer are up for grabs at the general SCR meeting on March 22 at 1pm in Elec ICU Folk Club has been resurrected Eng 403b. Persons wishing to stand from the death it died in 1981, but is for these posts should forward their still dependent on enthusiasm from name, and the names of a proposer continued survival. If you're into any and two seconders to Chris Eardley sort of folk music, then this is the club via Elec Eng pigeonholes asap. for you. Our aim is to promote the playing and enjoyment (and singing) AMNESTY of folk music amongst students. So far this year, members of Folk Club have performed at the Holland Letter Club and also during Rag Week in SCAB Nite and the RCS smoking concert. writing We meet every Tuesday lunchtime at 1pm in Huxley 140—far from the On Thursday March 17, the IC madding crowd so no one can hear us. Amnesty Group will be holding a Anyone who plays anything is sponsored Write-a-thon in the JCR, welcome. from 9.30am to 5.30pm. We will be This weekend, on Saturday March writing letters for prisoners of 12, we are having a 'singaround' in conscience (people detained anywhere the Union SCR (the room above for their beliefs, colour, sex, ethnic Norman's) from 7pm-llpm. If you origin, language or religion, provided play bring your instrument, if you they have neither used nor advocated sing bring your voice and if you don't violence) from all over the world do either then bring your enthusiasm.

FELIX Friday March 11th 1988 13 Letters -a

with water, sanitation, electricity, roads, Mosques, schools—proper housing and infrastructure. To date the Small Ads scheme has enabled 80,000 refugees to leave the camps. Wasted energy A little known UN Resolution has been adopted annually since 1971, stating inter alia that 'Israel desist from the Dear Sir, removal and resettlement of Palestine refugees'. This year PERSONAL I am writing to complain about the large waste of energy only Israel and USA voted against the resolution. Is it not in the Lyon Playfair Library. As a Life Scientist, I work ironic that those who preach about the need to overcome Vote for me! Oops, too lata on the fourth floor of the library under increasingly the plight in the camps have repeatedly lent a hand to UN Join the SPARO's NHI Beit. difficult conditions. The major problem is the air resolutions which would, if implemented, perpetuate the Cath thinks working in Soho is more turbulence caused by the electric ceiling fans. These cause problem? profitable than singing on the tube. papers and books to be blown about and make working Mr Akhtar asks 'What was preventing (Israel) from Diana—you've stained my feet with within five metres of them impossible. The reason why solving the problems in the last thirty years?'. He Guinness the fans are employed, and indeed why windows are left conveniently forgets that Israel offered Gaza back to Egypt wide open, is not because of the large mass of bodies Did they learn you to walk before as part of a negotiated deal after the Six-Day War. The coming to UNI, Sarah? within a small space, but because the central heating Arab response was the three noes of Kartoum—no talks radiators are too hot to touch. with Israel, no recognition of Israel, no peace with Israel. Helen R, will you shave my pubic hair off please? K E (I admire you from Thus, large amounts of energy are being wasted daily Furthermore, under the Camp David framework signed a distance). by the College in a pointless manner. Surely this could on 17 September 1978 the Arabs of the administered areas be avoided by the use of simple thermostats set at a would live a transitional period of five years under the Want your underwear frozen? See Fiona and Edith. reasonable temperature. autonomous administrative council. The accords include I cannot speak for other floors in the library, but on an invitation to Palestinians and Jordanians to enter into Fiona & Edith, can we have the whips back sometime? the fourth floor, large areas of working desks cannot be direct negotiations aimed at securing peace. Sadly the offer used because of the fans, rain blowing in through open was not accepted. Yishu, Yishu, How my heart bleeds windows or the intense heat from radiators. Therefore, The PLO has eliminated itself as a negotiating partner for you, your poem has given me much inspiration, I now only desire for our cramping of many people into small areas of desks occurs, not least because of some 8,000 acts of terror, mostly unification, Yishu my darling, the time particularly on Wednesday afternoons, while other areas against Israeli civilian targets, causing the deaths of over will come, I really fancy your sweet are completely unpopulated due to the adverse weather 650 Israelis and the wounding of thousands more. Its little bum-Sam. conditions! The problem is compounded by undereducated charter states its aims—'the Arab Palestinian There once was a sailor who'd blush, librarians who do not know how to control the fans. When people...reject all substitutes for the total liberation of whenever a girl had a crush. Poor boy'd asked politely if the fans could be turned off, a librarian Palestine'. 'Armed struggle is...the overall strategy, not be last, to run up his mast, just to replied, 'they cannot be turned off, they can only be turned merely a tactical phase'. Today the PLO has not altered avoid the great rush. down. And I don't know how to do it!' Does this mean its goal one iota. It continues to deny Israel's right to exist. ICSO play the Nutcracker Suite that the fans will be left on until Armageddon! Its ambiguous rhetoric thinly disguises its glee whenever tonight-but who's the Sugar Plum This is a very real problem and I know that a lot of its killers murder Jews—whether they be a crippled Fairy? people feel strongly about this—not only the poor working pensioner on a cruise, a defenceless middle-aged woman Get totally Brahmsed tonight with conditions, but also the energy wastage. in Larnaca or a baby in Nahariya. ICSO. Something must be done about it! In describing the recent unrest in the administered areas Does Simon use a different coloured Yours sincerely, Mr Akhtar does not publicise the murder by Arafat's condom on his thumb 34 Mad Julian R Henson, Life Sci H. 'Force 17' of an Israeli salesman, Shlomo Sakal. The car Gardeners. accident referred to, happened two days later—the accident The 4.20 from Evelyn Gardens is was unintentional and the Israeli driver concerned will now arriving at 'Room' 22. 34 MG. stand trial. Israel is not a totalitarian regime based on the Remember Room 'XX' is a 'Heart to i rule of gun but a democracy based on the rule of law. Heart' bonk-free zone 34 MG. Answering the When its security forces are faced by violent mobs, hurling Mark and Matt celebrated the fire-bombs, rocks and knives, then self-restraint gives way 322nd anniversary of the Great Fire of at times to self-preservation. But that too is subject to the London on Wednesday Feb 24. 34 MG. rule of law. The Israeli soldiers involved in the burial of Notice to our bored housewife: We opinion the Palestinians are being court-martialled. Distressing apologise for the disrupted milk service cases of brutality by Israeli soldiers are breaches of and over the last two weeks and hope to Dear Judith, represent the antithesis of government policy. restore the service asap—The Dairy (I). The author of last week's opinion article makes a horrific I condemn any and all excessive force. In contrast Mr Thank you Clive and piss off. and perverted travesty of history by attempting to link the Akhtar condones Palestinian violence. Morality which is Thursday lunchtimes boring? Stuck Nazi policy of systematic killing of the Jews which resulted selective is not morality at all. Where indeed are the to know what to do with those two in six million murdered, and the conditions of the refugees protests at the sieges and massacres of refugees in the hours? No? Well come to see the totally in Gaza, Judea and Samaria. camps of Beirut and those of Yarmuk, Heleb and Darah fab IC Amnesty letter stall anyway, It is indeed true to say conditions in the camps are poor. in Syria? Suffering in Beirut does not of course justify JCR, 1pm. When Israel entered these areas in 1967 the inhabitants hardship in Gaza—but those who omit to mention the Torture get up vour nose? Dictators were found, after 19 years of Arab rule, to be living in former reveal anti-Israeli not humanitarian motives. get on your four-asterisks? If you can't the same abject squallor and misery as had existed in 1949, Surely history records few people so consistently misled face someone nicking your supply of Australian lager then come and help Today the camps are administered by the UN whose by their leadership as the Palestinian Arabs. From the Amnesty protect innocent people from budget has been cut in recent years as the Arab countries Grand Mufti of the 30s and 40s to Yasser Arafat of today, far worse—1pm Tues,- Elec Eng Foyer. have refused to pay the sums requested of them. One day's rejectionism and maximalism have gone hand in hand with Get awake, get a brain, get a life, get oil revenues of Saudi Arabia could solve the whole threats, intimidation and assassination of Palestinian Arabs a ticket for the 'Physicists'. March problem. who espouse policies of negotiation and compromise. The 15-18, Union Concert Hall. Notwithstanding this, Israel has engaged in a consistent one-sided criticism of Israel by Mr Akhtar just fuels the Will you survive... effort to improve the living conditions. Since 1970 every obstruction of those who preach violence. Only by making refugee who wishes to leave the camp is given a plot of these elements impotent might the voice of Palestinian ...'The Physicists' the most explosive land, chooses his own type of dwelling and construction Arab moderation be heard. When that happens the peace play in the history of IC. plan and becomes the full property owner once the building process will begin in earnest. Will all DoC 2 students please stop is completed, his property being registered in the Land Yours sincerely, reading this and pay attention to the man at the front of the lecture Register. The new neighbourhoods are built orrState land Neville Nelkon, DoC 2. theatre-RB.

14 Friday March 11th 1988 FELIX Probably some of the best wines in In fact the CU take a peculiarly selective view of the the world...guaranteed to reach the parts that Claret does not. Bible. That view started when people like Martin Luther criticised the Church for appearing to sell salvation for Seeing as you only read this bit, may Pecker up? cash, using flashy imagery, and over-focussing services I direct your attention to the notice about Physics sweatshirts in the Dear Judith, on the individuals leading them. It is hard to believe thaf Announcements section. With reference to Martin Peck's election proposal which people like Swaggart, Baker, Robertson, and the other appeared in FELIX dated March 4th, we should like to American TV evangelists, of which the CU are the British We the accused, wish to express our concern that the Mad Gardener seems raise the following points: wing, trace their origins to Luther's protests (hence unwilling to address himself to the 1. Mr Peck has never been elected to a position on the 'Protestant'). burning issues of today. Rocksoc committee. The most important Protestant belief is 'justification of Matt Stratton is innocent. 2. Mr Peck has consistently failed to support Rocksoc faith alone'. This means rejecting the whole of Christ's events. radical social teaching on helping the poor and so on, as The Mad Gardener is a weed. Root him out. 3. Mr Peck has not attended a single Rocksoc meeting useless (strangely they do not seem to hold the same view this term. on sexual matters). That is why their declaration is so FMW says 'Oh no it's not!'. We would therefore like to object in the strongest important to the CU. If you do not accept it, no matter Vote for Sartaz, Hassle Soc. Publicity possible terms to Mr Peck's use of our society to further how good your life, you are doomed. To them, Mother Officer elections. his political ambitions. Theresa of Calcutta will go to Hell. It is no wonder that Sartaz Promotions Agency. Hassle Love, light and peace, right-wing politicians the world over have taken up this ads special this week. Sartaz, Physics The Rocksoc Committee. religion with enthusiasm. 2. 'It works'-Amin El-Kholy. PS. We shall shortly be reading omens from Mr Peck's Having seen the CU in action at three different Cath, he still wants to know. Do you entrails. universities, I am convinced they are a sinister force which do it like the other girls from the ought no longer to be tolerated by other Christians whose valleys—like a bunny? name they abuse. Don't step on my blue plastic shoes. Yours sincerely, Hairee, a good weekend—hie Look Matthew Huntbach (Dept of Computing). forward to the next (when you recover). Savage challenge Welcome to England, Carrie. Be my belated (by three years) valentine (for a Dear Judith, day at least). Imagine our surprise when we read in last week's Hope you had a happy birthday, FELIX that the Penthouse Club go sharking every Friday Money takers? Louisa Can you remember it? But don't night. go, we all need you. From the four four We of the Gauntlet Club also don our fins every Dear Judith, party (and what a party). weekend and hereby challenge The Penthouse Club to a | My attention was recently drawn to the front page of The Penthouse Club require beautiful 'Jaws Evening' on the Friday night of their choosing. last week's FELIX and the story entitled 'Moonie-rakers'. women for research into new ways of Police Chief Brody will be informed. On reading the story, which purported to be informing being nice to people Also perhaps a A word of caution: One person in Southside last week IC students about CARP, I could not but feel a tinge of few physiotherapists or gymnasts as controls. got severely savaged by a black fin and lost all feeling deja vu. from the neck down. Luckily, he saw the funny side of it. On checking my archives, I discovered why. Almost Haggis-Hunting Soc is holding a Cheers, familiarisation session for F-14 bimbos all the 'factual' material about CARP was lifted straight at the Hampshire Hog. A subsidiary of The Gauntlet Club. out of a two-year old copy of FELIX; this despite most the Penthouse Club. of the material in that copy having been challenged as We made the Baron at last! inaccurate or misleading, in a letter from the then UK- CARP Director, printed two weeks later. Now the elections are over, can we mention Dave Williams? The Penthouse Therefore, for the sake of those who were not privileged Sinister CU to be readers of FELIX at that time, I'd like to raise a Club. number of points again. Will the next FELIX Editor respect Dear FELIX, our traditions? The Penthouse Club 1. CARP and the Unification Church. I am glad that questions are being asked about the CARP is a movement for students who are concerned Jan(et) and John: Book 2. 'Christian Union' (FELIX 796). What annoys me most about resolving the problems of society and the world. Jan runs the house. John helps her. about this movement is its name, presumably adopted in Jan drinks the wine. John drinks the For this reason, meetings and seminars are organised on wine. We all drink wine. Jan likes John. order to trick us into believing it represents all Christians. diverse issues. Attendance and/or membership is not John likes Jan. And I'm afraid that's as The orthodox Christian view is that Christ founded a restricted to members of the Unification Church. far as it goes. movement and left his spirit working in that movement. Furthermore, Reverend Moon is clearly identified as the That movement which became known as the Catholic founder of CARP in two introductory leaflets (copies Anyone for tennis? Imperial Tennis Club coaching. Contact J Van Vlymen, (meaning 'universal') Church, later collected together enclosed with this letter) distributed on campus by CARP Mat Sci 2. various writings which were circulating to form the Bible. members. So the Bible is the product of Christianity, not vice versa 2. The 'Brainwashing' Myth W + M, M + W? W + S, as the CU claim. The charge that the Moonies practice brainwashing S + W? S + M-No! Taken outside the context of the Catholic church (which techniques has been fully discredited by recent sociological WANTED I take to include not only the Roman Catholic church, but and psychological studies (see especially 'The Making of also the Orthodox churches, and others which maintain a Moonie' by Dr E Barker of LSE). An attempt to uphold A person to translate a Geological the history, traditions and teachings handed down to us Spanish paper into English. Fee a similar charge in court (made by HM Attorney General) negotiable. Box No. 640. from the first Christians and developed by centuries of was recently dropped on account of what amounted to an prayer and contemplation) the Bible is an obscure jumble. absence of any credible evidence. If one accepts the Bible as the sole source of authority 3. 'CARP is a sinister organisation' FOR SALE (as every member of the CU must) one is no more a There is nothing secretive about CARP. Members are Christian than one would be a true follower of any other Mini Clubman, S Reg, black, always happy to try and explain aspects of Unification, sunroof, radio, lots of recent work (with religion if one picked up its sacred books and developed the philosophy of CARP, to the best of their ability. CARP bills), runs well, MOT November, Tax to one's own religion based on them. Indeed, what no more 'feeds on the loneliness and unhappiness of end April. £700 ono. Special offer for justification do the CU have for rejecting the Gnostic people' than the NHS does on their ill health. members of IC: £100 off!! Phone gospels and other works that were not included in the Yours sincerely Howard on int 4528. Bible, if they reject the Church that compiled it? Dr C Turfus, Director CARP-UK.

FELIX Friday March 11th 1988 15 News m ijj^iygti Will we CU again? Geology on shaky ground It's a con continued from front page The University Grants Committee has research in mainstream earth Two con-women have been operating was settled. He also foresees recommended changes which would sciences, and 'J', which indicates in the Evelyn Gardens residences. difficulties in paying the expenses of reduce funding to IC's Geology universities offering joint honours and They have been persuading students speakers who have already been department. A review committee, set service teaching but which do not to pay £15 a month as part of a booked for the remainder of the term. up to suggest reorganisation of earth have expensive research equipment. financial planning service they claim In a committee meeting on science courses throughout the Group T of type 'M' includes to offer students. Both women were Wednesday CU agreed to put a country, has divided geology Oxford, Cambridge, Edinburgh, seen using the same car but different motion, removing the contentious departments into three categories. Leeds, Manchester and Liverpool, company names. When they were clauses from their constitution, to a Within each type, departments have while Group '2' includes Durham, challenged in Holbein House, they Union General Meeting. They are been split into two groups: the first Cardiff, Leicester and Glasgow. said that they did not know one also investigating whether or not to receive increased resources, the A great deal of controversy another and that they had been given survival would be possible outside IC second to get no increase or a slight surounds this review. New Scientist permission to canvas by Imperial Union. reduction. Imperial is classed in the recently published a story claiming College. Members of the Christian Union second group of category T, which that some oil companies had been are unhappy as they feel insufficient is meant to contribute to inter- shown a letter stating that IC's time was spent in discussing the issue: disciplinary as well as mainstream Geology department was to be axed New societies only eleven days elapsed between the earth sciences, concentrating on completely; and The Guardian, UFC meeting where the issue was multiple rather than single honours. March 10th, quoted Dr Peter Smith, Imperial College Union Computer first raised and the Council which East Anglia and Lancaster are in the scientific editor of Geology Today, as Graphics Society and Imperial expelled them from the Union. They first group of this type. The other saying the review had been 'watered College Union Air Cooled are also concerned that they were not categories are 'M', in which down by a few people protecting their Volkswagen Society became the latest kept properly informed about the departments provide teaching, vested interests'. additions to over one hundred active situation facing them. Had they more including single honours, and clubs now run by ICU when their information, they said, they could constitutions were passed at have presented a better case to Monday's Council. Council. Election results ratified Shan's Dodgy Nigel Baker is to be Imperial College Officer), Paul Watkiss (Ents Officer), Auction Sporting Tips Union President next year. Chas Neil Motteram (External Affairs Brereton and Ian Morris are Deputy Officer) and Neil McCluskey A charity auction and raffle, held at NAP: Missing Man President and Honorary Secretary (Internal Services Officer). Paul IC Science Fiction Society's Sandown, 2.35 Friday respectively. Bill Goodwin will be Shanley was returned unopposed as convention Who?Day3 last Saturday, NB: Aston Express FELIX Editor. All the election results UGM Chairman after Sydney raised £111 for research into Cot Chepstow, 2.30 Saturday were ratified at yesterday's Union Harbour-Bridge withdrew from the Death and £74 for IC Rag.» Powerful Paddy General Meeting. The following election. Market Rasen, 3.15 Friday students have been returned for Union Four Departmental Representatives E/W: Sprowston Boy posts next year: Elizabeth Warren have also been returned: Sarah Vant UROP Sandown, 2.45 Saturday (ICCAG Chair), Fiona Nicholas (Rag (DoC), Isobel Fairclough (Geology), Chair), James Papa (Welfare Officer), R Garland (Civ Eng) and Athos The 1988 Directory for the Richard Spencer (Academic Affairs Ritsperis (Maths). Undergraduate Research Opportunities Programme has just been published. It contains over 150 /<®> Royal School of Free speech fracas offers and copies are available from Mines Journal Departmental Vacation Training 1988 The highly criticised new legislation, to whether he can force the Union to Representatives or from Mrs Ibsen, Section 43 of the Education Act, reinstate the two. students. If he is Room 713, Electrical Engineering. The RSMJ (1988 edition) will be recently brought in by the successful, this could have serious The University of Delaware is printed in June this year. The RSMJ Government to safeguard freedom of repercussions for all British students' offering five summer vacation is a must for anyone who wants to be kept well informed of all aspects speech has been shown to be unions. bursaries for research at Delaware of academic life in the Minerals unworkable following an incident at This incident has led to calls by and applications should be in by the Industry and life at the RSM. As Wolverhampton Polytechnic last right-wingers for tighter restrictions end of this term. The bursary is worth has been the case in previous week. on student unions and guaranteed free $1500 for ten weeks but students have years we are continuing to add new features and ideas to the Journal The Polytechnic's Conservative speech in all universities in the new to find their own fare. Mrs Ibsen has and this year is to be no exception. Students Association invited South Education Reform Bill. a Delaware UROP directory which Further information please African Embassy Secretary Louis Meanwhile Wolverhampton gives the areas of research contact either: Frank Lucas (Editor) Mullinder to address a private Polytechnic's director Michael available—they cover all of science or Barrie Holt (Business Manager) and engineering. Students wishing to c/o Royal School of Mines Journal, meeting on 'Dismantling Apartheid'. Harrison has insisted that the current Prince Consort Road, London SW7 A fight broke out when several legislation is unworkable because they register should see Prof J C 2BP Tel: 01-589-5111 (ext. Frank students interrupted the meeting and had done everything to ensure that Anderson, Room 804, Electrical 3524 / Barrie 6472) the student union subsequently trouble would not occur but it still Engineering. Those with good To be sure of obtaining your 1988 academic records in their department RSMJ order now through the above withdrew membership from two did. At the moment, he said, 'there address £5.00 (including P/P ) Conservative students for organising is no means of enforcing free speech have the best chance of being selected Life subscriptions £150.00 the meeting. The Polytechnic's and no penalty for a breach of it.' and decisions will be made during the Cheques payable to : RSMJ director is now taking legal advice as Easter vacation.

FELIX is published by the Editor for and on behalf of Imperial College Union Publication Board and is printed by the Imperial College Union Print Unit, Prince Consort Road, London, SW7 2BB (Tel 01-589 5111 ext 3515). Editor: Judith Hackney. Business Manager: Chris ' Martin. Copyright FELIX 1988 ISSN 1040-0711.

16 Friday March 11th 1988 FELIX