DEEN A Saintly Woman for Our Times by Zahra Ayubi

hadija bint Khuwaylid, may God be pleased with her, was a woman of the ages, from whom we can learn much. The first of the KMuhammad, peace be upon him, she is considered in popular thought “Give Khadija the on the historical roles of women in , as a symbol of women’s piety, chastity and belief in God, as well as a model wife who unconditionally supported her good tidings that husband. She embodied these attributes, and so much more, to which we can relate today. If we understand Khadija’s life from a vantage point that respects her station, she will have a palace her relationship to the Prophet and her own relationship to God, we will make sense of her life as an empowered woman in a deeply patriarchal world in which made of pearls in Islam was just beginning to bring about the revolution of human equality. While the Prophet remains for both women and men a model human being, Paradise and there the model believer in God, the stories of his life as a man who lived more than 1400 years ago, can at times be inaccessible to today’s women. If the Prophet is will be neither noise al-insan al-kamil (the perfect, complete human being) then the figure of Khadija can function as the complete woman. She is certainly not a parallel female prophetic figure; however, on the level nor trouble in it” of women’s expression of faith, when we read Khadija’s life story holistically we are presented with a uniquely female way of being Muslim. It is a way that (Sahih Bukhari 27:19). is inspirational, not merely because of Khadija’s piety, wealth and role as a wife, but also because she faced and overcame numerous obstacles that are familiar to women in our own 21st century context. Interpreting Khadija as a woman of faith, even before the arrival of Islam, helps us to understand more fully her role in the prophecy and to decipher the ways in which she is inspirational. In this essay I offer a rereading of her character

16 AZIZAH as it appears in the scant historical in a society that expected women The legend narrated by Ibn ‘Abbas sources such as fragments in the to have male support, Khadija was is that before she knew the Prophet, Prophet’s sira (biographical narrative); exceptional in making the conscious Khadija was attending an important some records, and Khadija’s decision not to remarry in order to festival for women held in Makkah own biographical entry in protect her wealth, and likely her during the month of Rajab when, Ibn Sa’d’s 9th century chapter on children, from untrustworthy men. from behind an idol, something took women in Kitab at-Tabaqat al-Kabir. the shape of a man who called out, Khadija came from a noble, predicting that a man named Ahmad wealthy trade family within the tribe would become the prophet of the of the . She inherited her If women’s experiences of people and any woman who could father’s vast wealth and business become his wife should do so. savvy, and continued to maintain her hardship as single mothers in The narrative recounts that, family’s business. It is reported that except for Khadija, all the women her caravans exceeded the number modernity are any indication present, became angry, cursed and of caravans owned by all the rest threw stones at the figure. Whether of the traders of the Quraysh tribe, of some of the challenges that or not this actually happened, it is combined. From her first marriage to women must have faced in unlikely that she predicted her future a man of an allied tribe named Hind employee’s prophethood, or that she ibn an-Nabash bin Zurara al-Tamimi late antiquity, then it is clear deliberately married him because of she had two sons, Hind and Hala. such an event, but her reaction to this After being widowed at a young age that Khadija must have had experience indicates that she was open she remarried and had a daughter from to perceiving the mystical and being this second marriage, named Hindah. unwavering resolve in herself touched by a miracle from God. Her second husband, ‘Atiq ibn Although long before her ‘Abid Al-Makhzumi also died at a and faith in her Higher Power. association with the Prophet, she young age, leaving Khadija a twice- lived a complete life, with marriages, widowed, single mother of three births of children and deaths in her orphan children. (The definition of family, we can recognize the pre- yatim (orphan) in 6th century Arabia, As the sole head of her household Islamic Khadija as a distinguished, and how the term is used in the she was independent, holding the strong woman of resolve – a woman Qur’an, is a child whose father is power of self-determination over her who had all the character traits to deceased.) Without having access to own affairs as much as was possible recognize God’s presence and the social history of Makkah from this under the confines of pre-Islamic moment of truth when the Prophet time, we can surmise from the number Makkan custom and possible tribal would first receive revelation. That of verses in the Qur’an that command interference. If women’s experiences phenomenal event would confirm her justice for the orphans that they were of hardship as single mothers in understanding of the Godly presence certainly a vulnerable segment of the modernity, even those who are in the mundane world. community, open to all kinds of abuses financially secure, are any indication Because she did not accompany or exploitations. Although Khadija of some of the challenges that women her caravans to and elsewhere was wealthy, she probably had to be must have faced in late antiquity, then on trade missions the success of vigilant in protecting her children. it is clear that Khadija must have had her business, her livelihood and her The sources are silent on how she unwavering resolve in herself and children’s, depended on her being faced the stigmas of being a single faith in her Higher Power. able to find trustworthy employees. woman in a patriarchal world, how she Although not much is known about She then employed a man named managed to stave off the numerous her religious beliefs before Islam, (we Muhammad who was known as al- marriage proposals she is reported know from later in her biography that amin, (the trustworthy one). After to have received from opportunistic she had a Christian uncle and some knowing him for a considerable length suitors greedy for access to her say she was always a monotheist). One of time and employing him on a few wealth, and what hardships she may episode in particular discussed in Ibn caravan trips to Syria on her behalf, have encountered in raising her three Sa’d’s biographical entry indicates that she was so impressed with his conduct, children while managing a large-scale she was serious-minded about God, honesty in business and kindness to trade business. We can only presume, believing in God’s presence in her life. servants that she proposed marriage

azizahmagazine.com 17 to him. She sent a woman named Additionally, Khadija and the he had just experienced, an encounter Nafisa bint Umayya to the proposal Prophet took in his young cousin, with an or a demon. First she to Muhammad. He accepted and the ibn Abu Talib whose father, an asked him to sit on her right thigh and two were married in the presence of important elder in the tribe, was under asked him if he still saw the angel. The their uncles, one of whom performed financial stress. They also adopted Prophet answered that he could. She the marriage. an orphan boy named Zayd, whose then asked him to sit on her left thigh Some reports say that she was 15 mother had been captured and sold and repeated the question. He still years older than the Prophet, who into slavery; the couple raised these could see him. Finally, she asked him was about 25, while others claim she two young males as their own. One to sit in her lap, removed her veil and was about 20 years his senior. Ages in imagines other good deeds that came opened her robe, revealing her form. hadith reports are generally considered of their partnership, although there is In this close embrace when he finally to be estimates. It is likely their age little discussion of their married life in stopped seeing him she said, “Rejoice difference was significant, but possibly the sources. and be of good heart; by God he is she was not as old as 40 years (and thus an angel and not a ” (Ishaq, 107). near menopause), because she carried Prophet said to her about In addition to the Prophet’s six pregnancies to full term during humanity in the face of God, this their marriage. The pregnancies were Khadija: “…she accepted me story demonstrates that Khadija’s reported to have been two years apart. endorsement of her husband’s Khadija’s advanced age and instinct when people rejected me, she prophethood was far more than to protect her wealth and children just becoming his first follower or make her proposal of marriage to a believed in me when people providing financial support, as is poor, young man of only 25 years, doubted me, she shared her popularly discussed as her main curious. Approaching 40, she had role in Islamic history. Rather, she probably decided not to remarry, wealth with me when people reaffirmed with her body and soul his or at least decided not to settle for experience of the Truth during his someone who could usurp her wealth deprived me, and granted most vulnerable state. and independence, or who would In another version, also in Ibn treat her children poorly. This is a me children only through her” Ishaq’s biography, Khadija had sent challenge that can resonate with single out a search party to find her husband, women of today; Khadija handled (Ibn Abd al-Barr, Al-Isti’ab). who was uncharacteristically late in her predicaments with great strength returning home. After he did return in not settling. In fact, she vetted The greatest indication of the home, the Prophet confided in Khadija Muhammad thoroughly. In addition tenderness in their relationship is about his experience and that he feared to the respect or love they may have related in the dramatic story of the a jinn (a spirit lower than the ) developed for one another, simply Prophet’s first received revelation. had possessed him; she reassured put, Khadija was able to trust him in A hadith transmitted by several him, “I take refuge in that, Father of matters of money and found him to companions, relates that after his Qasim. God would not treat you thus, be kind to others, which were to her, momentous encounter with the since He knows your truthfulness, great indicators of his trustworthiness Divine, he came rushing down from your great trustworthiness, your fine in all aspects of his life. the cave of Hera to his home. He character, and your kindness. This She proved to be right. The Prophet flung himself, shivering, into Khadija’s cannot be, my dear. Perhaps you did remained monogamous during their arms and exclaimed, “Cover me! see something,” (, 106-107). 25-year marriage, uncommon at the Cover me!” (Sahih Bukhari 1:3). Ibn Khadija believed he possessed time, and was kind to his stepchildren Ishaq’s sira (biography of the Prophet) all the characteristics of a prophet, who all grew up and got married. In narrates this scene between husband the same traits for which she found her marriage to the Prophet, Khadija and wife in intimate detail as told by him worthy of being her husband. had a son named Qasim, followed Khadija herself; the story has been Modern retellings of this version of by four daughters, Zaynab, Ruqayya, recently retold beautifully by scholar the story often credit Khadija only for Umm Khulthum and Fatima, and Omid Safi inMemories of Muhammad. consulting her Christian uncle who another son named Abdullah, who was She asked her husband to recount recognized the Prophet’s revelatory born into Islam. Only the daughters the phenomenal moment to her so experience as similar to those of survived beyond early childhood. that she could help him decipher what before him. However, using

18 AZIZAH her own faculties of faith, she was the be pleased with her, admitted that significance of either version of this one who recognized the signs of God the Prophet’s frequent praises of the hadith is that God addressed Khadjia from the moment her husband came late Khadija and mentions of their directly in regards to her destiny down from the cave of Hera. She marriage made her feel jealous. The and sent blessings (peace or salaam) further interpreted what he saw, “By Prophet said to her about Khadija: upon her, albeit through the envoy the One in whose hand is Khadija’s “…she accepted me when people of the angel Jibril or the Prophet. soul, I have hope that you will be rejected me, she believed in me when This implies Khadija’s high station the Prophet of this people” (Ibn people doubted me, she shared her as a believer in God in her own right, Ishaq, 107). She had always trusted in wealth with me when people deprived whose deeds, like those of everyone God’s plan for her and her family and me, and Allah granted me children else, are believed to determine fate in this moment was the realization of only through her” (Ibn Abd al-Barr, the hereafter. that belief. Al-Isti’ab). He recognized the role She is guaranteed heaven in this In a hadith narrated by Az-Zuhri, she had played in his life and that she hadith because of her own merits “The prophet and Khadija prayed helped him to realize his prophethood throughout the course of her entire in secret for as long as God wished” in public and in private. lifetime including her ability to (Ibn Sa’d, 11). The two continued to In a hadith reported by a number persevere during the most difficult witness the oneness of God within the of narrators, the Prophet spoke of trials early in her life, her continuous privacy of their marriage, which must Khadija’s fate in the hereafter. One belief in God, her recognition of the have drawn them closer together. version is from the time she was still Prophet’s encounter with God, and The narrative of Khadija’s life living. Upon bringing him a plate of probably countless other moments drops off at this point. We know food he said to her, “Khadija, here is when she demonstrated goodness that that Khadija spent the rest of Jibril (angel ). He commanded are not narrated in the biographies. her life in partnership with her me to say salaam to you and to give you In the hadith literature, we do not see husband, spreading God’s messages the glad tiding of a home of jewels such a clear confirmation as direct to the largely hostile community in in paradise in which there will be no messages from God, for his other Makkah and beyond until she died at toil or hardship” (Ibn Kathir, companions or wives. approximately 65 years of age. She is of the Prophet Muhammad). In another Instead of viewing Khadija only buried in a cemetery in Makkah called version, it was upon his return from as a chaste woman who supported Jannat al-Maala; there is no marker for umrah, (the small pilgrimage) that he her husband, we must view her as a her grave but millions of pilgrims to said to the people, “Give Khadija the complete woman who faced adversities Makkah visit to pay respects and recite good tidings that she will have a palace of living in patriarchal 6th century salaam and prayers for her. made of pearls in Paradise and there Makkah and rose to confirming God’s Her death is reported to have had will be neither noise nor trouble in it” presence in her life. a profound impact on the Prophet. (Sahih Bukhari 27:19). In the 21st century we are not More than losing her financial The significance of this hadith is companions, relatives or wives of support, he suffered from the loss two-fold. The first is with regard to prophets, but we certainly are part of his closest confidant and partner her proximity to the Prophet and that of the real world where we face in life. Eventually, friends, followers the promise of freedom from toil and difficult decisions every day. Muslim and supporters largely made up hardship as the descriptions of her women from all walks of life daily the difference but he continued to abode in heaven implies that her life, confront issues such as widowhood, remember her profusely throughout especially perhaps during the years having to maintain one’s family, his new life in , to the point when she was a single mother, was being the household head, deciding that his next wife, , may God tough. The less commonly discussed on a suitable marriage partner, maintaining a beautiful marriage and most importantly, trusting God’s plan through the signs that God sends. Today, Muslim women are managing a wide variety of difficulties, all the while doing what they can to spread goodness, and who better as a role model for them than Khadija bint Khuwaylid.

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