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December 25 1991 Vol 1 No 24OCR.Pdf t h e h o t t e s t C A L E N D A R i n t o w n I FREEi Step1: Hold overthis your head: ' .., . 1· ...... TheStory Step 2: Kiss somebody! ofSanta t's a wonderful myth: A fairy­ is thunder, "Blitzen" is flash), all of M le Kalikimakafrom all of us at theHonolulu Weekly. land inhabited by a flamboyantly whom combine to drop treasures dressed, compulsively merry down the chimneys of preschoolers fatherfigure in a red suit, his few, who haven't been unduly rebellious vaguely referenced assistants and during the 12 months past. Nothing some implausible English and in childhood equals the Santa Claus German reindeer with motiva­ myth, and nothing ever will. tional names (in German, "Donner" Continued on Page 3 HONOLULU oticed anything dif­ der. "Have extremists ferent about the commandeered the Honolulu airwaves airwaves?" lately? Say you're You got it. Last cruising down H-1 summer, the FM side in your finemachine of KDEO radio, for and you flip on the years a country and radio. George Bush gibbering. western bulwark, was Flip the dial. Paula Abdul. Flip leased by a visionary, again. Muzak. Again. Hall and if chaotic, outfit that Oates. Agai ... whoa, wait a has transformedthe sta­ minute. Was that really the tion into something Red Hot Chili Peppersyou just unique in the annals of American broadcast­ ing: totally listener­ programmedradio - heard? You leave the dial where it is- 102.7 FM- and wonder if this is forreal. Is someone really playing the Dead Kennedys' Let's Lynch the Landlord on commercial Honolulu radio? And The Melodians doing Rivers of Babylon? Next, unbelievably, comes the Village People, fol­ lowed by Nirvana, Modern English, Bob Marley, Public Enemy, Social Distortion and a lot of strange but funky tion now transmits JULIA STEELE a phenomenal col­ lection of music, sounding stuff you've never concocted in an heard before.Interspersed with environment of the music is the omnipresent barely-controlled phrase, "the radio revolution," anarchy. repeated over and over again, Listening to the a shibboleth of the DJs, a station is like liv­ maxim of the music directors, ing a perpetual a slogan of the salespeople and waking dream a liturgy for the listeners. that you're in a ''What's going on?" you won- .. --. -.---- i.---- ---- LINDA FONG ILLUSTRATIONS Honolulu Diary viewers: Young Japanese female ogy; an etiquette column on how to tourists in Hawaii are called "yellow answer AIDSquestions from well­ cabs" because they let you get on meaning but ignorant folk(like some and off any time, any place, and of our Big Papers' gossip colum­ ' , ' they're favored because they are nists); a poem written by a young "clean" and (the writer says) easy. man with AIDS;and a politicalanal­ They're also called "7-ll"s, accord­ ysis of the epidemic (a piece that is ing to the scribe; they are open, you remarkably even in tone when you (UJSINE CONSULTANTS see, most hours of the day. consider the Reagan-Bush adminis­ .._..,�· . tration'sunconscionable reaction to 'f?-'· :� Politically-correct l - the crisis). As the AIDS pandemic ..j:. ·; Whe�er !ts a small cockta� .party, or anelabo �ate we1ding with dumerfor 500, Cuisine Consultants willprovide - fantasies reaches into alleged "low-risk" expertinput for all facets of planning"The Perfect Party." Video stores recently phoned by groups in the '9 0s, we're lucky \ \' indeed that our gay community and .� "-;, Treatyourself or someone special to one of our cooking ' ' the Weekly all reported very brisk ::.·.-�:- classes - exotic and international cuisine offered. Yellow Cabs sales of Fantasia,Disney's 1941 ani­ others have responded so skillfully and thoroughly - and often in the Visitorsto MagicIsland (or at least mated feature.If you wereroped into l face of stupefying antipathy, igno­ ,·, }t those who read handwritten kanji) watching it this season and thought 528-4808 it reada littledifferently than in years rance and/orindifference from those tell us that thumbtacked to palm ·�·... _, past, you're absolutely right. In an who don't yet know how Close To trees,stuck on bushes and taped to ________________________ effort to be "politically correct," Home this unprecedentedillness will rocks, this message, and variations soon hit. thereof, can be found in profusion. Disney artistscut out partsof images fromsome frames and obscured or We quote: "Japanese young ladies - in this world of ours, there are a deleted others completely. Long lot of playboys and otherevil males shots featuringblacks, brown.s and yellows in domestic-servitudeposes runningaround. Ifyou seesuch peo­ FRY& CO. ple, please do not go out with them. or wearingstereotyped clothing were They will get you drunk, or drug nixed. All of this activity is market­ Bishop Trust Building driven,of course, thoughthe irony of you, then take you home and rape 1000 Bishop Street, Suite 802 all the discretionary cutting is that you - whichcan be the cause of 96813 Fantasia Honolulu, Hawaii AIDS. Even in Hawaii there are is now more contempora­ neous than many of today's films, many bad males. Whites, blacksand 531-6726 which still extol Asian and gender - Phone (808) yellow racesas well, Japanese males stereotypes.Guess we won't get our included. I have lived in this town stockingsstuffed with those changes for many years and have seen foranother 50 years. numerous Japanese girls pay the Who'son first, Providersof confuientia,/investment price, but Japanese don't take legal wattson second action, do they? This is no laughing Upcoming 1992 legislation in the seroicesfor global Stocks, Bonds, and matter,so beforeit is too late, please Isles will include a proposal from be careful, and have an enjoyable the state's Energy Division (DBED) Futures Management. vacation. (Signed) Beachboy." to amend Oahu's building code on On Kalakaua, with calligraphyby energy-efficientequipment. If the what appears to be a differenthand, amendment passes, air-conditioners, .. � ... ···:..._ _. the basic message has been placed lighting and water heaters would be _______________________ =' ·''--�----------------------- strategically: "From the citizens of replaced with newer, more "global­ Hawaii best wishes fora good tour, t·� � ----------------------------. friendly"models; and new buildings and the hope that all Japanese would be designed to minimize Educational Tours to the Females will act in a way which exposure to the sun and maximize reflectspride in beinga Japanese and insulation, cross-ventilationand solar in a way appropriate to being an Film criticRoger Ebertfast asleep energy. Figures? You need figures? adult woman." during a recent filmfest showing of On a hot August midaftemoon, our Meanwhile, back in Tokyo, on award-winner The Inland Sea ... island currently demands about 1250 Tetsuko Kuroyanagi's afternoonTV "Contaminated Water" signs placed megawatts of energy. (Pay attention talk-show (much like Oprah)a guest, along the Ala Wai Canal don't work now: one megawatt equals 1 million a Japanese writer now living in very well; many of the fishermen 100watt ligbt-bulbs). If the proposal Shanghai Hawaii, tells the millions of matinee there speak little or no English... Guilin 3-Day passes on all Islands, the savings in Yangtze Channel 22 is planning to upgrade 20 years, proponents say, would give and HONOLULU its community-service program in Hong Kong River us a reduction of 280 megawatts of '92 ... The University of Hawaii. electrical use. Looked at on a more Gorges Board of Regents will soon vote on Cruise personal level, each household with a film/videomajor forthe university an energy-efficient water heater Beijing system, with Kapiolani and Leeward could save money; the heater would, Xian Vol. 1, No. 24 Community Colleges offering in fact, pay for itself in five years Taiyuan December 25, 2991 "feeder" two-year programs... One · and would last about 15. Alas, Chongqing Publisher and Managing of the biggest gay clubs on Kuhio is energy-efficiencyisn't a veryglam­ Yichang Editor Laurie V.Carlson said to be in financialtrouble ... prices orous idea to movers-and-shakers; Wuhan Senior Editor Julia Steele are going way up in several of it just doesn't seem to have the old Calendar Editor Derek Ferrar Honolulu's most popular restau­ Nanjing Editorial Assistant conquer-the-earth charismaof a new rants... 1992 will see beagles trained, coal-fired power plant at an indus­ Wuxi Ann Marie Swan at $10,000 a clip, to sniff out Dazu Contributing Writers tlial park. • Bob Green, Mary Brennan, Guamanian brown tree snakes at Suzhou Cecil Adams, Liza Simon, Honolulu Airport. The reptiles have Changsha Richard Field, Dwight D. Taylor already destroyednine separate bird Contributing Illustrators species on Guam.... Factsof the Week Linda Fong, MattGhali CartoonistsMatt Groening, Ufelines 1990salaries of "THE CHINA CONNECTION" Slug Signorino One of the most undercovered Art Director Bud Linschoten ongoing news storiesin Hawaii over selected 14, 20 and 26 Day Tours Graphic Production In cooperation with Tianjin Travel and TourismCorporation Blaine Fergerstrom, the last few years is how well our government Isabella Forster state's AIDS crisis (and "crisis" is officials A Full-Service Travel Agency Contributing Photographers the word) has been handled, and David L. Moore, Bob Hsing responded to, by a bevy of unsung Governor..................... $94, 780 Classified Manager Inter-Island Coupons volunteers, organizations and foun­ Lieutenant Governor... $90,041 Isabella Forster Mayor, Honolulu ......... $84,725 Ticket Delivery Available Advertising Mindy Jaffe dations.
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