Ibizan 853.Pub

Mo Chaudry—many things to many people; Left, a smiling face in clubland, centre, mentor & friend, right, family man & Liverpool fan. (left photo marc de groot) Farewell to Mo #YNWA A prominent and much loved member of the Ibi- heritage, they first visited Pakistan before moving on to zan community has died following a tragic swimming accident during a holiday in Sri Lanka. Hikkaduwa beach in South West Sri Lanka. Mo Chaudry has been a well-known figure in Ibi- On the 8th of January Mo posted photographs to face- Eivissa Expects za’s music promotion and clubbing world since book in celebration of Kizzy and Leelou’s 11th Birthday. Ibiza’s President & 5 Mayors Unite 1998. His career included successful periods with Tragedy struck on Thursday the 12th of January. Cream, Privilege and Space. Mo was swimming when a powerful wave swept him In Opposition To Palma Proposals 53 year old Mo was taking a family holiday in Sri Lanka with the twin daughters he adored. The onto rocks rendering him unconscious. New Balearic law designed to restrict unregu- accident occurred on Thursday 12th, just two It is not known how long he was underwater however lated tourist lettings considered not to reflect days before his intended return. nearby tourists had witnessed the incident and were able Ibiza’s special circumstances. Family, friends, and the music industry pay trib- ute with accounts of commercial success and to pull him from the sea and alert the emergency ser- Palma’s proposals create a framework for apart- personal kindness. vices. ments to be rented to the tourism market legal- ly, but Ibiza’s Mayors and Consell President are Nick Gibbs Speaking from Sri Lanka, Mo’s brother Shan Chaudry unanimous in opposing the new regulations. Mo left for an extended holiday with his twin daughters (Continued on page 11) Full Story Page 5 in late December. Keen to show the girls their cultural The Ibizan, Issue 853, January 2017 links are live in the online edition at theibizan.com Page 2 Editorial* of which based on his En-ger-land world cup song with Dizzy me to such a level that I owe you a huge debt of gratitude. elcome to the first Ibizan for 2017, with and lazy shouty UK panel shows. At the end of each day you would read to us for the last half an the very best wishes to all of our readers Now having seen some of his US Late Late Show and Carpool hour or so, though I remember the better the book and warm- Karaoke, I would like to jump ship and join the three point er the day the longer the session. W for a very happy and prosperous new year. something million others (on fb at least) who think he is a real- We heard some wonderful classics of Children's literature 2017 promises to be another big one for Ibiza. Tour ly talented chap. Plus he does carry his weight well, how do I brought to life by your spoken word and anybody of similar go about that then?? age to myself will know what high praise it is to say your narra- operators and the Ibizan government are predicting tive style was minimally the equal of a Bernard Cribbins' Jacka- another record year for tourism, which is great news nory. Of greatest fondness in my memory is 'The Hobbit'. Something for those earning a living from the annual summer in- quite random brought this into my mind this week, and I was flux, but will not be without its challenges. taken back four decades to my ten year old self, with head on desk, sitting next to Neil Rumsey, the dappled sunlight, the Ibiza’s infrastructure and environment are struggling to smell of wood, rubber, pencil shavings, and hearing your voice cope with the pressure put upon them, and the Island’s conjuring up my fantastic imaginary version of Tolkien's world and characters. F.Y.I. (apologies for that corruption) the Gol- success in attracting visitors has resulted in a lack of lum you created for me was nothing at all like that realised in affordable housing for the local population that does not the later films, ours was a much more sympathetic chap. I had always enjoyed reading, but you brought it to life in a look like ending anytime soon. way that has stayed with me ever since, and ultimately lead me to my current job in which I use some of what you gave me on Several of these issues are covered in this edition of the a daily basis. newspaper, and it will be an interesting spring as we Unfortunately ten year old children do not have the foresight to express the gratitude for what may be to follow, but I watch developments unfold. should have thought to before now. Of course I have no way *For now however, this editorial page sidesteps such of contacting you. Aside from remembering you were original- ly from Glossop I have nothing to go on. Though to my ten year weighty subjects., and instead starts the year on a Politically Correct Kings I know it is a controversial subject, tradition and culture and all old eyes you seemed very old, as every adult appears ancient, I lighter note. From Porn to Palma Ham to Penny1 to that, but personally I think having a black person in the role of think you must have been a young teacher based on your pas- sion, and so there is every reason to think you are still alive. I Pitman and even to the Past, the assorted notes to Balthazar is the right thing to do in 2017. To use a white person 'blacked up' just seems unnecessary and wrong. Well done have created an image of you living the English retirement follow are no more worthy of the term Editorial, than a Santa Eulalia and anywhere else that followed suit. idyll, your home a village cottage, sitting in an armchair in front of a spitting log fire, surrounded by books and occupied Space closing party is worthy of the term closing party. with the happy memories of a rewarding life. All a bit choco- Here it is anyway, not an editorial, but a page of assort- late box I know, and I can't blame you for such sentimentality. Your reading of 'Kes' was perhaps my first exposure to social ed nonsense. If my own ramblings do not appeal, or you realism. I guess it is more a case of feeling you deserve to be in such comfort and happiness. have already seen some on social media, I hope there is In the absence of any ability to contact you directly, and for plenty of other good content in the edition to inform and what it is worth, I offer this expression of thanks up to cyber- space. entertain you. At the very least it may be of some comfort to current teach- Hasta febrero, ers that can read it as an advance letter of thanks from their current pupils, but I hope in some way it may ultimately reach Nick Gibbs you. After all, as your storytelling taught me, the most fantas- [email protected] tical things are possible. With gratitude, Nick Gibbs Thoughts on the UK following our Christmas sojourn. 1. Britain now drives on the wrong side of the road. 2. the ratio of retail parks to population is now 1:100 3. The ratio of ambiguous kebab-pizza-fried crap shops to population is now 1:1 4. Everybody in Essex has a personalised number plate. None of them are decipherable. 5. Grey is the new black. Grey is also the new red, blue, green, yellow, and white 6. Everything is on sale. 7. Shopping is the new opium of the masses. 8. Traffic is stationary. 9. All of the above are totally acceptable on a strictly tempo- Penny 1 rary basis when set against an overhead volley winner in the I have just had a very interesting visitor to the office, Penny, 89th minute Proud To Be British - The Best known I understand it as 'Penny 1'. Among the anecdotes con- veyed in her visit Penny told me of riding horses from near Worst Perverts In The World! Hotel Ses Savines all the way along the Bay of San An on what I recently received press from statistica summarising Porn- was then a dirt track out to Port Des Torrent. Sure a few of you hub.com's annual 'most searched for' report. out there will remember the siesta senoritas? Penny came to Most of it is pretty predictable stuff, but the spikes in search Ibiza as a rep in 1961, which to my knowledge makes her the terms for British one-handed browsers makes for some sorry longest resident still here - unless anyone knows different? reading. Other countries have their peculiar freakish turn ons, e.g. in the U.S.A it's Stepmoms that seem to result in the most sticky mouse issues, but the three top spikes in the U.K. read like the Brexit brigade couldn't contain their triumphal joy for more than the 6 minute average visit duration in a Sexit orgy of one nation onanism. #1 'British' - nothing too wrong in that, but given the other two I can't help feeling that if the pornhub users had a better grasp of boolean search it might have been ("British" OR "English" AND "White" NOT "Benefit Scrounging Foreigners") #2 'British Schoolgirls' - something to be proud of there, watch your British schoolgirl porn on the PC whilst simultane- Letter To The Past ously spitting fury at the Paki Groomers on the TV news Dear Mr Knight, Teacher, Rose Hill Primary School, Ipswich, #3 'British Chav' - I mean what even is that? Chav sex? Like 1977.

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