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War Was Either Going to Be a Skeleton in My Closet

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War Was Either Going to Be a Skeleton in My Closet Smith ScholarWorks Theses, Dissertations, and Projects 2016 "War was either going to be a skeleton in my closet or I could try to make it something else" : an exploration of moral injury, moral repair, and veteran anti-war activism Zoe Rose Rudow Smith College Follow this and additional works at: https://scholarworks.smith.edu/theses Part of the Social Work Commons Recommended Citation Rudow, Zoe Rose, ""War was either going to be a skeleton in my closet or I could try to make it something else" : an exploration of moral injury, moral repair, and veteran anti-war activism" (2016). Masters Thesis, Smith College, Northampton, MA. https://scholarworks.smith.edu/theses/1737 This Masters Thesis has been accepted for inclusion in Theses, Dissertations, and Projects by an authorized administrator of Smith ScholarWorks. For more information, please contact [email protected]. Zoe Rose Rudow “War Was Either Going To Be A Skeleton In My Closet Or I Could Try To Make It Something Else”: An Exploration of Moral Injury, Moral Repair, and Veteran Anti-War Activism ABSTRACT This exploratory study investigates the impact of collective anti-war organizing on veterans’ experiences of moral injury. Moral injury refers to the emotional, psychological, and spiritual unrest that emerges as the result of “perpetrating, failing to prevent, [or] bearing witness to… acts that transgress deeply held moral beliefs and expectations” in the context of war (Litz et al., 2009, p 695). While current literature centers treatment for moral injury through clinical interventions, this study investigates if and how anti-war activism can provide a process for moral repair. Qualitative interviews with six veteran anti- war activists reveal that many intervention steps proposed by clinical literature on moral repair occur organically through anti- war activism. Morally reparative dynamics of activism include communalization of experience and community support; giving testimony and processing one’s story; agency, power and transformation of self; contextualization of violence and illuminating systems of war; and making amends, fighting for justice, and transforming society. Participants also identified elements of their activist work that were psychologically harmful. These include toxic environments and infighting; government infiltration; activist burn out; and public exposure to attack and abuse. Framing activism as a process of moral repair is not meant to exonerate veterans from responsibility for past participation in war, but rather to imagine how working towards justice and reparations for victims of U.S. imperialism can be transformative for veterans struggling with moral injury rooted in their participation in war. This study finds that moral repair for veteran anti-war activists can be seen as a process of transforming feelings of guilt and shame into tangible action against systems of war and empire. Key Words: moral injury, moral repair, veterans, activism, anti-war activism, PTSD, Iraq War, healing, social movements “WAR WAS EITHER GOING TO BE A SKELETON IN MY CLOSET OR I COULD TRY TO MAKE IT SOMETHING ELSE”: AN EXPLORATION OF MORAL INJURY, MORAL REPAIR, AND VETERAN ANTI-WAR ACTIVISM A project based upon an independent investigation, submitted in partial fulfillment of the requirements for the degree of Master of Social Work Zoe Rose Rudow Smith College School for Social Work Northampton, Massachusetts 2016 ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS This thesis is dedicated to all those working collectively to resist militarism and interrupt war. Your work is seen, your work is just, and your work is important. A Thank you to… … The six activists who participated in this study for so honestly and thoughtfully sharing your stories with me. Thank you for your ongoing passion and dedication to fighting for justice. I am humbled and inspired by your work. … My thesis advisor Adam Brown for keeping me grounded and providing structure and deadline to my sprawling and jumbled research process. … My fellow Smithies for providing me a challenging and compassionate learning community. Special shout out to Kyla Lew for your edits on this thesis, your friendship, and for getting me through these Smith summers. … Lily, Lisa, Sophia, Dexter, and Kyla for our thesis work dates at Victrola, for commiserating with me over wine and home cooked meals, and for providing me inexhaustible friendship that extends from Northampton to the beautiful PNW. … My Seattle loves (Stacie, Katrina, Jess, Katie, Amie, Colette, Michal, and many more), for holding me when I felt weighed down by the enormity of this project and for helping me celebrate my deadlines. Thank you for your day- to-day love, goofiness, and encouragement. You helped me feel at home in Seattle. … Zach Wigham for our long and deep conversations about war, moral injury, and violence. Thank you for connecting me to your networks and sharing your experiences. … Sarah Anne Minkin for guiding my thinking about war, militarism, nationalism, and resistance. Thank you for your edits on this thesis and for your continued support of my academic path. Most importantly, thank you for being a dear and deep and loving friend and role model. … My family (Ziggy included) for your consistent and unwavering love. Thank you for the early modeling of the importance of activism and dedication to justice. … My many friends and diverse communities who sent me good vibes, supported my questions and critiques, and gave me love. There are too many to name. For this abundant and plentiful friendship, I’m eternally grateful. … Sufjan Stevens and his album, Carrie & Lowell, for providing the beautiful and melancholic background music for my writing process. ii TABLE OF CONTENTS ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS ..................................................................................................... ii TABLE OF CONTENTS ......................................................................................................... iii LIST OF TABLES ................................................................................................................... iv CHAPTER I INTRODUCTION ........................................................................................................... 1 II LITERATURE REVIEW ................................................................................................ 7 III METHODOLOGY .......................................................................................................... 34 IV FINDINGS ...................................................................................................................... 38 V DISCUSSION .................................................................................................................. 69 REFERENCES ........................................................................................................................ 88 APPENDICES Appendix A: HSR Approval Letter ......................................................................................... 95 Appendix B: HSR Amendment Approval Letter .................................................................... 96 Appendix C: Recruitment Flyer .............................................................................................. 97 Appendix D: Informed Consent Form .................................................................................... 98 Appendix E: Sample Resource List ........................................................................................ 101 Appendix F: Interview Guide ................................................................................................. 102 iii LIST OF TABLES Table 1. Differences Between PTSD and Moral Injury ................................................................ 12 iv “Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. How is this a disorder? What part of being emotionally and spiritually affected by gross violence is a disorder? How about going to war and coming home with a clear conscious disorder? I think that would be far more appropriate.” - Matt Howard (2010), Iraq Veterans Against the War “Moral injury is a term that loosens the noose a bit around the necks of veterans who are harangued by enormous personal guilt and distributes the responsibility for their actions (justified or not) more evenly around the chain of command, the government, and maybe even the American people.” -Tyler Boudreau, Iraq War Veteran (2011, p. 753-754) CHAPTER 1 Introduction What happens to a soldier in war? How do both experiencing and enacting violence change a person? How do individuals grapple with the moral and ethical dilemmas that emerge during war? How do people who have experienced these deep ethical and moral struggles reintegrate back into their home lives after war? These questions have been explored and debated throughout history and across cultural and geographic context (Maguen & Litz, 2012). In the United States, there have been many different names for the deep and often troubling psychological impacts of war. In World War I it was called Shell Shock, and considered by many to be a result of cowardice, fear, and pre-war neurosis (Jones, 2012). In World War II, it was referred to as “combat fatigue syndrome” (Jones & Wessley, 2005). While some still dismissed combat fatigue as cowardice, it became recognized as an emotional and psychological wound that could be treated (Jones & Wessley, 2005). Soldiers returning from Vietnam with severe psychological distress were said to suffer from Post-Vietnam Syndrome. These previous wars and the experiences of
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