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Join us on one of these 3 great lesbian and fun-filled vacations. CALL (800) 631-6277 or VISIT OLIVIA.COM. Mention “LN” Advertise in LN 1.800.458.9888 3 April 2014 Features 9 Transgender By Chris Angel Murphy 17 Theorhetorically Speaking CON By Nikki McCauley 22 Vows That Wow By Rita Lamar 29 Living Out TENTS By Sally Sheklow 29 Uncork Your Wine Seller By Mikey Consbruck Inside LN 36 Positive Reflections By Dian Katz, MS 9 POETRY 18 BOOKS 38 Words That Make Sense By Toni Hart 19 MUSIC 22 QUEERLY QUESTIONING 38 Alcoholism: The Thinking Disease 23 COMIC OF THE MONTH By G-O Digilio 24 LIFE COACH’S CORNER 25 MOVIES EYE C Lifestyles 30 LOLs 33 HOT SPOTS 8 Politically Speaking 35 THE WEEKENDER By Donna Wade 35 TRAVEL 10 HERstyle 37 FEMASTROLOGY By Christin and Ashley Kelly-Brown 19 Humanity Here By Karen Williams 20 Antigone Rising By Michele Khordoc 28 Lesbians And The Female “Fertility Clock” By Sherron Mills, N.P 32 Sound of Lesbians By Sally Sheklow

13-15 Cover Story Mariah Hanson 24 Years With Mariah Hanson: The Diva Behind The Dinah By Lesbian News

Lesbian News Magazine | April 2014 | www.LesbianNews.com When the time is right, keep us in mind.

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5 security that you’ve come to the right place. experience, Cathy is a specialist, helping people just like you through this taxing process, while providing comfort and Cathy Wilson — specializing in a client base with unique needs and ever-changing requirements. With over 20 years Uncharted territory: yes. Double the stress, triple work: possibly. Call upon one of LA’s finest accountants — return, and Individual Federal Tax returns that split income between partners using community property rules. being recognized as a couple. All registered domestic partners are required to file one joint California State Tax registered in California, you’ll be filing more than an individual tax return. Consider that you’re one step closer to Especially when it comes to California State Income Tax. If you count yourself among the many domestic partners NEVER BEFORE HAVE REGISTERED DOMESTI 11965 V L

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Lesbian News Magazine | April 2014 | www.LesbianNews.com Abundance

7 Politically speaking Leotards, glittered skirts, and vulgarity! Oh, my! | By Donna Wade

he financial alchemists of Wall narcissistic sense of entitlement held by many For all my ranting about the cluelessness of Street, with their legions of of the one percent, especially found among the plutocrats, it never occurred to me that lobbyists and paid-for politicians the 85 people who hold more wealth than 3.5 Wall Street might have a secret fraternity. are out to keep you broke, billion people on the planet combined. They’ve got the US Chamber of Commerce Tuninformed, and hungry, yet expect you and the Business Roundtable wrapped up, to be grateful for any low-paying, soul- The looting and pillaging on Kristallnacht that’s not enough? sucking job you can get. comes closer to describing what the greedy and unethical have done to our economy, Thanks to a report by Kevin Roose in New We’ve been treated recently to op-ed columns off-shoring our jobs, gutting our retirement York Magazine, we get a look inside the in major US newspapers authored by the poor, plans, our home values, our planet and, most Kappa Beta Phi. Founded at the beginning poor put-upon rich white guys, like billionaire importantly, our democracy. But even all those of the Depression in 1929 by scions of the venture capitalist and fat cat Republican donor deeds pale in comparison to the state-initiated 1% , it had met in secrecy for eight decades Tom Perkins. He and others of the off-shore genocide that resulted in the gruesome deaths without infiltration by outsiders until Roose tax haven/mega yacht class, who have rigged of six million innocents. snuck into their black tie induction ceremony every aspect of global finance and politics after he learned it was being held at New in their favor, contend public expressions of I have nothing against wealthy people, unless York’s St. Regis Hotel in 2012. anger at all they have wrought upon the rest they got rich by cheating or stealing. The one of us are just like what befell Jews during percenters I know are delightful folks, but theirs Roose describes it as a “Friar’s Club for the Kristallnacht. Seriously? is a different world. One that doesn’t involve one percent” headed by the aptly-named living paycheck to paycheck or stressing over “Grand Swipe.” The annual gathering features In case history isn’t your bag, let’s review. On paying the rent. They’ve forgotten. Even if a drag show by new inductees performing November 9-10, 1938, German storm troopers they weren’t born into money but later earned song parodies making light of Wall Street and non-Jewish civilians launched a series of it, married it or won the lottery, as people gain skullduggery (“Bailout King” to the tune of attacks on the Jewish populations of Germany the higher social status that increasing wealth Abba’s “Dancing Queen,” for one) and vulgar and Austria. Called Kristallnacht (crystal night provides, research shows that they begin to jokes involving Hillary Clinton and Barney in English) or the Night of the Broken Glass care less and less about those without such Frank that you’ll have to read for yourself because of the thousands of shreds of glass status. to believe. Every reason we love to hate the covering streets from the broken windows financial elite was on display at this event, of Jewish businesses, homes, hospitals and We see that in our own Congress, now with with the masters of market manipulation, synagogues, the coordinated assaults resulted enough millionaires to keep the one percent their protégés and their uber lawyers cracking in at least 91 deaths and over 30,000 innocents in business busting unions, gutting public wise about their greedy deeds over foie gras, arrested and carted off to concentration camps. pensions, dumbing down and privatizing our rack of lamb and the best champagne. The pretext for the attack was the murder of schools, privatizing prisons, and gorging at a German diplomat by a German-born Polish the public trough for generations. Roose got thrown out when he tried to take Jew. The event marked the beginning of the a picture (strictly verboten) and admitted to implementation of Hitler’s Final Solution, the That’s probably why, despite all the fine being a reporter when questioned. But he did Holocaust. rhetoric, Congress has failed to enact any publish a few of the photos he got before he legislation to create jobs. They voted 50 was discovered, so to see what the rich look In his letter to the Wall Street Journal, Perkins times to repeal the Affordable Care Act, but like as they mock the rest of us, check out warns of a “progressive war on the American the Republican majority refuses to bring a Roose’s article at http://nymag.com/. one percent.” “This is a very dangerous drift jobs bill to the floor, or extend long-term in our American thinking. Kristallnacht unemployment benefits or do much of If it ticks you off as much as it did me, consider was unthinkable in 1930; is its descendent anything for the common good, because supporting or participating in an action, large 'progressive' radicalism unthinkable now?" keeping the economy in a state of perpetual or small, during the upcoming Worldwide decline is part of their electoral strategy. Wave of Action (waveofaction.org) called What Tom and his fellow moneyed cry babies They’re betting we’ll forget their obstruction search for an action in your area and join in, are experiencing is not even close to what the and heartless budget cuts when we go to the because the plutocrats will always win if the Jews went through. No one has suggested we polls and hand them back the Senate. I think rest of us refuse to fight for economic justice. storm their enclaves, steal them blind and herd they’re in for a rude awakening, because the them off to the gas chamber. That we consider American public is tired of the party of the [email protected] them social pariahs is because of their own rich forcing their austerity agenda on those selfish behavior. But you know that. The fact who can least afford it. that they don’t give you a glimpse into the By Nat Burns

Lesbian News Magazine | April 2014 | www.LesbianNews.com TRANSGENDER Life as a Spork: I Hated High School

| By Chris Angel Murphy

ach morning I dragged myself out of bed. High school was brutal, though. One day we were in One boy on the soccer team followed me around Every day I played my music and kept my the gym and unsupervised, sitting up in the bleachers. asking if I was a boy or girl. That day I chose humor, head low. My shoulders slouched, partly Students brought small objects and lit them on fire so I told him I was both. He called me “sexy it” from from my backpack, but also the weight to throw at me. With each chuck, the teacher did that point on and I pretended to embrace it. “It?” How Eof the world. nothing. When I brought it to his attention, he didn’t dehumanizing. Yet, each day I would come home to say anything to the class. I had to go to the dancing vent, my family countered, “Well, you dress that Gym was my least favorite class. Every semester, instructors, who looked over the locker room. One way…” without fail, a girl would yell, “there’s a boy in the marched right up to the class and said to knock it off, girl’s locker room!” I cringed. Back then I didn’t giving an eloquent lecture. It pissed off my teacher, Although I continue to give back and befriended have the words to articulate how I felt. At that point, but he didn’t do anything! Her act of kindness meant teachers of with whom I still keep in touch with today, tomboys and butch lesbians were as close to how I the world to me, yet it was clear my own teacher was high school made me want to crawl out of my skin. felt. Terms like genderqueer didn’t find me until a few a dud. Supportive teachers got me through it because they years later. So, I would find my locker and change believed in me and wanted more for me when my own as quickly as possible. My eyes would not leave the I spent a lot of time writing word-for-word accounts family didn’t. My heart aches and goes out to those locker or the floor, in fear someone would think I of actions that took place. This boy said this. That who may defy the gender “norms” and deal with the wanted to look at them naked. Sometimes I felt so boy said that. It felt like nothing happened because bullying that takes place. I can’t tell you what’s right uncomfortable that I changed in the bathroom stalls. the administrators would bring them in, warn them for you as far as tackling it, yet know there’s an army Showers? Forget it. of what would be placed on their permanent record if of people out there who want to support you and they did anything further, and that was that. On any protect you. I’m one of them. Unlike my peers, I hated my growing chest. I had to given day I was equally called a fag and a dyke, out wear the training and later found my way to sports of confusion. The accumulation of these events made [email protected] . The training bras pissed me off because they me feel like giving up on life. Still, I fought. I wrote. were donned in floral prints and “feminine” colors. Even if that meant a new label like “snitch.” I forgave The sports bras I found were gray, which made me myself on days I just didn’t have it in me. feel a little better since they were neutral. POETRY “Let’s Learn WOMEN Golf!” By Morag Hillsinger Join “Coach Karyn” in beautiful Studio City this spring, and take Women who swim upstream your golfing skills in to unimagined levels! Don’t have any golfing Who follow the truth in their soul skills? No worries! Women against terrible odds Who won’t live as society’s hole That’s where we begin…Right where you are now is perfect! Karyn has been a Class A Teaching Professional with the LPGA Uppity Women for the past 10 years and takes great joy in teaching golfers of all Women Strong skill levels. Right now, there are a few openings for new students. Noisy Women Private & semi-private lessons are more affordable than you might A gathering throng think.

Just women. Enjoy her “2 for 1 Spring Special!” Two people for the price of one! You & someone else can share a one hour lesson with no With their Goddess given right to added charge. Show their faces, to feel the breeze Karyn was voted “Teacher of the Year 2009” by the LPGA T&CP To publish a magazine Western Section & is the “LPGA T&CP 2012 Super Senior National To fight the squeeze Champion”, and is the founder of New Thought Golf!

Women. Contact Karyn today at 818-288-6950 or email KDunphy@ NewThoughtGolf.com while space is still available! [email protected]

9 Herstyle Bald is Beautiful | By Christin & Ashley Kelly-Brown

hat is beauty? How do we see it? What does it look like? To many of us, beauty Wis truly in the eyes of the beholder. However, in modern society, we as women are constantly falling victim to an idealized version of what we think beauty should look like. Maybe it’s long hair, big boobs, full lips, and the body frame to match. But how often are we looking beyond that? Beyond the materialistic and superficial appearance? The project that we were asked to be a part of was a project that not only hit close to home, but we absolutely could not pass up on something that makes such a statement in its own right. The Bald Beauty Collection was an idea that the creative and beautiful photographer, Hoda Amel Abdalla came up with as campaign for cancer awareness. The idea was then magnified into a 48-hour transformative production involving makeup, 25 professional models, personal stories of triumph, plenty of film, and a photographer’s drive to show the world that survival is also beautiful.

When we were initially asked to be a part of this project, we were honored. The preface of this project was to convey the beauty and empowerment in women who are survivors of cancer, more specifically, breast cancer. My wife Ashley lost her aunt in a battle with breast cancer at the young age of 32, her grandmother at the age of 68, and even Ashley had her bout with cancer at age 4. Needless to say, this project hits home for us and we said yes, without thinking twice.

Hoda Amel Abdalla and HERstyle’s Christin & Ashley teamed up to create ‘The Bald Beauty Collection’ The Bald Beauty Collection was done over to raise breast cancer awareness and shine a stunning light on the beauty behind the hair. the course of two days, both in Los Angeles

Lesbian News Magazine | April 2014 | www.LesbianNews.com and Santa Barbara, Ca. with 25 female The key to getting the bald cap as smooth models requiring both beauty make-up & as possible is to make the hair underneath bald caps. What’s a bald cap? A bald cap is as sleek as you can. The more sleek and a wig-like cap simulating the appearance of smooth the hair is underneath the cap, the a bald or partially bald head. As part of an smoother the cap will fit to the head shape. actor's make-up, it is often used to make a Very important. Also, if the cap were to rip person appear older. In this case, we want or split anywhere, we would have to toss it for our lovely models to simply represent out and start from scratch (which happened the millions of people affected by the a few times). We applied a bald cap on each aftermath of chemotherapy and radiation, of the ladies and concealed with different resulting in complete hair loss. Many of make-up mediums to make it look as these professional models have never been close to skin as possible. That also means placed in a bald cap before, so this was an mimicking skin texture, tones, beauty eye-opening and life-changing experience marks, and freckles. Yes, it’s a whole lot of for them as well. Not only because they’ve detail and a bunch of blending work, but it gone from having a full head of hair thirty was an amazing shoot and the results are minutes prior and now smooth as can be, unreal! but many of the models and artists, like us, have or have had family members affected As for the makeup, we really just wanted by the illness. Below, Abdalla gives her for their natural beauty to shine through it own preface to this project: all. We kept everything very sunkissed or wine-stained, so it truly allows you to hone “The Bald Beauty Collection stimulates my in on the face and skin. As we stated before, desire to show that the beauty of women lay these models do have hair. So modeling within their attitude. This collection was without one of their biggest assets really created to empower women as a way to forced these bombshells out of their step back and appreciate their beauty in the comfort zone and into a photo shoot that’s state/ condition it’s in. As the photographer, simply out of this world. Well, without I focused my attention toward the women, further adieu, we present to you “The Bald who I feel take on one of the most Beauty Collection” by photographer Hoda courageous battles in life by struggling with Amel Abdalla and makeup by yours truly, their hair loss from illness and treatment. LunaBella. Enjoy. These women have a large struggle in overcoming the norms of physical beauty “The war with self-esteem is often the with the acception of their changing physical lowest point in a woman’s life and should state, with hair loss. A special thank you not be a concern to women courageously goes out to the twenty-five models, their battling illness and its treatment. I believe agencies, and LunaBella Make-Up & Hair there is nothing more beautiful than a for providing me with such amazing talent woman who can keep a positive perception in making this collection possible. “ of beauty evolving with her physical state, regardless of its condition. I created this - Hoda Amel Abdalla, photographer series to empower women--to let them step forward and unveil the beauty behind the Now, because most of our models had long hair.” hair , thick hair, or just a lot of it, getting the bald caps as smooth as possible to Help raise awareness by talking to a create a realistic effect was challenging girlfriend, walking or running in a breast and crucial. Creating the naturally smooth cancer walk, or getting ‘the girls’ checked head shape seems pretty easy, but when you regularly. For more information on what have someone with curly hair or really full organizations are out there, check out www. hair, it’s sometimes a bit difficult getting knockoutbreastcancer.com. everything underneath the cap to lie down. [email protected]

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Lesbian News Magazine | April 2014 | www.LesbianNews.com 24 Years With Mariah Hanson The Diva Behind The Dinah By Lesbian News

13 ariah Hanson is the founder of “Maria” is much too big and too boisterous for any foundation for the future of thousands of lesbians’ and producer of the world man to handle – she settled for Maria, pronouncing travel & leisure activity. It also testified to two crucial famous Club Skirts Dinah it as if it had an facts: Mariah was a natural born negotiator, and she Shore Weekend - the H, but spelling instinctively knew how to throw a party. legendary 5-day Palm Springs it as if baby Mextravaganza packed with non-stop activities, Mariah was So back in San Francisco, when one day Mariah spectacular comedy shows, live concerts named after walked into an old huge empty warehouse set to be headlined by top 10 Billboard recording artists, the Ave Maria. converted into a nightclub, she didn’t think twice activism, massive pool parties, and premier The nuns were about jumping on the opportunity to host a weekly talent in music, film and television. thrilled. They’d all-girl party every Sunday. saved another Twenty-four years ago Mariah took over the stunning soul. Her Mom In a pre-internet era, long before the rise of Facebook, Palm Springs Museum for a one night party, and was thrilled as Twitter, MySpace, Instagram and Pinterest, the only parlayed that one-time-small-scale event into the well as she’d way for Mariah to effectively promote and advertise largest lesbian event in the world, booking entire outsmarted her event was to rely on a DIY approach, which meant hotels so that they were 100% lesbian occupied, the Vatican. implementing a guerrilla style-marketing campaign. bringing in national sponsors, rising the event to And baby For two months, Wednesday through Sunday, she international fame, and not only turning the city Mariah was religiously set her alarm clock to midnight and of Palm Springs into the ultimate lesbian getaway thrilled. Can headed out to every busy nightclub catering to her destination, but also transforming The Dinah into a you imagine demographic to put flyers on cars. On opening night cultural phenomenon. growing up she pulled some impressive attendance figures with with a name an estimated 1,100 women on a school night. Mariah Hanson is a woman who has perpetually been like Persephanie? Armed with the force of a hurricane, defining extreme reinvention by revolutionizing her from the very beginning Mariah’s fate was sealed. Mariah became increasingly popular with lesbian industry, overturning tradition and raising the bar on nightclub audiences and quickly made a name for female achievement. They said she was crazy but She certifiably carries an entrepreneur dossier that Mariah clearly never takes NO for an answer! may rival some of the most prolific and successful businesswomen in the field! At age five she was Armed with steadfast courage, wit and a savvy already earning a decent living applying the very sense of business, early on Mariah had grabbed the basic business principles of Sales & marketing 101: entrepreneurial torch. And naturally, it all started the Admission Fee! day Mariah was born. As a matter of fact, one could say, she was innately predisposed to master the art of Dressed as a cowboy, she would stand out in the business negotiations. middle of her neighborhood street and demand a quarter from cars driving by. She carried her skills well The second youngest of 7 children, Mariah was the into her teens, dabbling into newspaper distribution only one who didn’t follow the family tradition of as a papergirl, and making a brief successful stint being born in San Francisco General. At the time of as a soap-seller (helping herself to $3000 worth of Mariah & Brianna her birth, her father had been relocated to Washington soap supply her mom had for years accumulated in state teaching at her garage after having joined one of those pyramid Whitman College. schemes, and selling it at the local flea market). herself within the LGBT community. She founded her She made her production company, Club Skirts, and for more than grand entrance into The genesis of her career can be traced all the way a decade, week after week, consistently threw a slew the world at Walla back to her 21st when she talked the dorm manager of successful, house-packed, lesbian parties at nearly Walla, WA, in a into letting her do something no other student had every major nightclub in San Francisco. Catholic hospital. been allowed to do before: throw her 21st birthday Her Greek party in the campus dorm cafeteria to celebrate. The Always thinking out of the box and doing things Orthodox mother the unconventional way – did we mention she came was then reading out to her parents on national TV as a guest of the a book by James (now defunct) Jenny Jones show? - Mariah made an Stewart called eccentric financial investment that would stand as a “The Storm” and monumental turning point in her life and ultimately wanted to name seal her fate. her daughter “Persephanie” – The year was 1991, when Mariah – already looking to expand her club promotion horizons -discovered Mariah & Keesha after the Greek Goddess. But that Palm Springs has a stunning world-class museum for three consecutive days a constituency of nuns endowed by A-list celebrities in the likes of Bob Hope persistently mitigated to veto the name choice on the and Frank Sinatra. Upon learning that benefactors were permitted to hold cocktail receptions at premise that it was a pagan name and consequently Staff with Chaka would send baby Mariah straight to hell. the landmark site, she paid the $2,500 monetary following year she did it again - only this time she contribution. It would become a fateful investment. Finally on the fourth day, Mariah’s mother ingeniously took it to the next level. As the saying goes: go big or came up with a ploy to outsmart them. Because the go home. And “BIG”, Mariah went! From that day on, Mariah was The Dinah. But how beginning of the book refers to “our Maria” spelled exactly did Mariah crack the Palm Springs equation M.A.R.I.A., but pronounced in the old English fashion Once again, the party was the talk of the campus. as a San Francisco outsider? with the accent on the long ‘I’ - because our version Little did Mariah know that early experience laid the

Lesbian News Magazine | April 2014 | www.LesbianNews.com equality and LGBT rights.

There’s so much going on and so many groundbreaking moments happening at The Dinah, but by far the most rewarding aspect of it all for Mariah is the life- changing factor of the event. What The Dinah offers is a glimpse of what life would be if everyone were accepting of each other -no matter what the size of their body, the color of their skin and/or the tax bracket they belong to. Simply put, it is a testimony of how perfect the world would be if we could all be free to feel free!

In 2008, after producing the Dinah in Palm Springs for so many years and having fallen in love with the city, Mariah finally took the leap, purchased a home and officially made Palm Springs her second family.

So what else does Mariah do when she’s not busy putting together the biggest lesbian bash in the world? Remember that ruthless five year old cowboy who terrorized local neighborhood drivers imposing a toll fee on all vehicles driving by? Well, cut to some decades later, the self-proclaimed toll collector borderline vigilante Sheriff has long-gone, but the The first unofficial Dinah Shore weekend took place Over the course of these past 24 years, The Dinah cowboy, now turned cowgirl, is still around and her in 1986 when women began to flock to Palm Springs has turned into one of the hottest celebrity hotspots, name is still Mariah. in conjunction with the Kraft Nabisco Championship and has positioned itself as trendsetting event that women’s golf tournament formerly known as the entertainment industry insiders watch and jockey An avid horseback rider, Mariah (who owns four Colgate Dinah Shore Golf Tournament, which was to book their artists’ performances. Some of the big horses) dedicates her spare time trail riding through originally founded in 1978 by the late Dinah Shore names Mariah has booked include: Katy Perry, Kesha, the mountains around Palm Springs, horse camping Natasha Bedingfield, Chaka Khan, Pat Benatar, The and exploring areas such as Utah, the High Sierras Pussycat Dolls, Chely Wright and Lady Gaga, to and other local parts of the Wild Wild West. She loves name a few. teaching her nephew Matteo how to ride, has recently signed up to earn her certificate in equine therapy, Mariah also actively travails to support and give back the practice of using horses to help heal people, to the LGBT community by championing social causes and dreams of, one day, becoming a perpetual horse directly affecting it. While The Dinah is known as the camper for the rest of her life. ultimate lesbian "Spring-break", the event is more Mariah’s “make it happen” attitude has continuously proven to be one of her biggest assets. Mariah & Wanda Sykes But then again, it is an easy motto to embrace when it is backed-up (a singer, TV personality and renowned golfer). by such exceptional After-dinner parties following the golfing turned talent and impressive benefits for the Human Rights Campaign and the entrepreneurial skills. AIDS Service Foundation. The proverbial light bulb came on in Mariah’s visionary brain who saw the new A business mogul of desert trend as an opportunity to bring in some stellar utmost professionalism, entertainment, sponsors and ultimately unite the integrity, creativity and LGBT community in one massive springtime party. altruism, Mariah Hanson has unarguably cemented The simple but daring concept catapulted Club Skirts her status as an amazingly Dinah Shore Weekend to stratospheric success, turned inspirational woman Mariah into an international figure and “a power who is truly making a lesbian”, and, well, the rest is history! difference!

Mariah has created an event that is not only a And until the day she staple in LGBT culture but is also a signature than just a mere LGBT bacchanal. With sponsors does indeed just pack up the horses and drive off into event in Palm Springs. such as the Human Rights Campaign (HRC), Equality the sunset, she’ll continue to bring a smile and a ray California, NOH8 and GLAAD among many others, of sunshine, beaming straight into our hearts … one With The Dinah, Mariah is changing socio-cultural Mariah has successfully transformed the Dinah Shore Dinah at a time! trends, mainstream minds and women’s lives. Weekend into a viable vehicle for the advancement of

15 BOOKS Kitty Genovese | By Teresa Decrescenzo

the imminent disintegration of our civilized society was predicted in magazines, television specials, and newspapers throughout the world, not just in the United States.

The police caught the perpetrator, who was tried and sentenced to the electric chair, which sentence was later commuted to life in prison, though not before Winston Moseley managed to escape prison custody, take more hostages, abuse more women, surrender to authorities, and finally incarcerated in a supermax prison in Attica, New York, where he holds the distinction of being the longest-term prisoner in the New York Correctional System. He is scheduled for a parole hearing in November 2014. Despite the apparent resolution of the case, the indictment of the people of Kew Gardens persisted for decades following the death of Kitty Genovese. Numerous books were published about this story, including one by Abe Rosenthal, who was city editor of the New York Times back in 1964, when this murder-rape took place, and who is credited with writing the inflammatory opening lines to the article by Times’ reporter Martin Gansberg that changed everything about how Americans viewed our responsibilities to our neighbors, to strangers, even to how we contact the police to report a crime-in-progress.

The problem is, not a word of the story and the depiction of the thirty-eight “eye witnesses” was true. Yes, it’s true that Kitty Genovese was stalked, raped, and murdered by Winston Moseley. That part is true, but Kitty did not die alone. A 4-foot-11 inch tall female neighbor rushed to the vestibule where Kitty lay mortally wounded, tried to stem the blood flow, and verbally comforted Kitty. Another neighbor did phone the police, was put on hold, and finally told the police what happened. The police did not respond for hours. Another neighbor called out the window, “Leave that girl alone!” Upon hearing the neighbor, Moseley jumped into his car and sped off, but when he drove around and saw no police, he returned to complete the crime. You’ll have to read this carefully researched, gripping, compelling book by journalist Kevin Cook for more specific details about how events unfolded that night, where most of the bystanders were “ear witnesses” rather than “eye” KITTY GENOVESE witnesses, and where many were elderly people uncertain as to exactly what was happening THE MURDER, THE BYSTANDERS, THE CRIME THAT CHANGED AMERICA at 3:30 in the morning. By Kevin Cook W.W. Norton & Company, New York What stopped me in my tracks and rocked me to my core, was learning that Kitty Genovese www.wwnorton.com was a lesbian, murdered on the first anniversary of her relationship with her lover, Mary Ann Zeilonko. How was this secret held so closely for more than forty years? Why? ifty years ago, nearly to the day of the publication of this issue of the LN, at 3:30 As the monsoon of misguided criticism of our decadent society that supposedly allowed in the morning, a young Italian-American woman named Catherine (“Kitty”) thirty-eight people to ignore a murder taking place outside their windows swirled around Genovese, was brutally stabbed and raped as she walked from where she parked the Genovese murder story, one of the “causes” of the decline in our moral values was her car after work toward her apartment in the Kew Gardens neighborhood of New identified in newspapers and magazines as the “women’s-lib movement,” which has often FYork. She died that morning in late March, suffocated because her lungs had collapsed as a been code for lesbianism. How is it that no one mentioned Genovese’s relationship with result of numerous stab wounds inflicted by Winston Moseley, a mentally disordered sexual Zeilonko? What dreams did these two young women have that were cut short so cruelly? predator who casually and deliberately stalked and sexually assaulted women. Kitty was Mary Ann, known as a Kim Novak look-alike, was an artist. She was planning a portrait of simply in the wrong place at the wrong time, spotted by Moseley as he drove randomly Kitty, practicing on other subjects until she became more skilled. Kitty liked that Mary Ann about the city looking, by his own subsequent admission, for a “woman to murder,” while wanted to wait until her skills were better to paint her dark-eyed Italian lover’s portrait. The his wife worked as a night-shift nurse. Genovese family warned Mary Ann to maintain a low profile at Kitty’s funeral. They didn’t want to have a “lesbian” scene at the service. They even came to the apartment to take the The story was a footnote in New York newspapers until the New York Times erroneously dog away, because the dog “had belonged to Kitty.” I was always troubled by the close-up reported that thirty-eight people – Genovese’s Kew Gardens neighbors – had seen the crime photos of Kitty Genovese. There was something wary in her eyes, something guarded about occur and did nothing. No one called the police. No one tried to stop the attack. People her, even when she smiled. I assumed it was just that I overly identified with her in terms heard her desperate screams for help, “Oh my God, I’ve been stabbed. Please help me!” of sharing an ethnic heritage, strict old-school Italian parents, Catholic girls’ school. Now and simply closed their blinds and went back to sleep. After all, there was a bar in the same I get it. block. Someone was probably just drunk, and plus couples occasionally got into loud spats that usually blew over quickly. Best not to get involved in a marital dispute. Best to mind The Genovese case stands as an important catalyst for national dialogues about the bystander your own business. Within a few weeks, a national media firestorm erupted, based upon effect in crime and accident scenes, in the development of more effective protocols for these words in the New York Times, “For more than half an hour 38 respectable, law-abiding police responses, in the emergence of a fairly effective 9-1-1 system, and in the protection of citizens in Queens watched a killer stalk and stab a woman in three separate attacks in Kew “good Samaritans” who do come forward to assist in crises. But at what a cost. Gardens.” These respectable law-abiding citizens were soon depicted as “monsters,” and [email protected]

Lesbian News Magazine | April 2014 | www.LesbianNews.com Theorhetically Speaking

Creating Space | By Nikki McCauley

here is a lot of water cooler cheat herself committing an affair with the women and personifies black women as aka Facebook and Twitter chat most unavailable and powerful man in the the masters great secret desire that he will about the hit television drama, free world? It’s a road leading no where openly disgrace to keep hidden. “Scandal”; in particular the except to eventual redemption of course. Tlove affair involving Olivia Pope played So, is there something more sinister at by the At a glance, the answer seems simple, work? Is Scandal the Stars Wars, Wizard Olivia Pope is Darwinian and as such she of Oz or the Moby Dick of its day? Is lovely Kerry Washington and the handsome, will choose from the choicest and that Shonda Rhimes mastering the puppet or President Fitzgerald Grant, played by Tony being the President. Unfortunately, that being mastered? After all she and many of Goldwyn. theory dies quickly when the President is her other characters are portrayed in very portrayed as weak, broken, far from brilliant pleasing light. Other writers have and Despite the television show’s super high and happy to be handled. He’s handled by continue to furnish TV and movies that are ratings and ranking, there is a love/hate Olivia, his wife, Chief of Staff and bullies far more detrimental and add to the already affair springing forth and brewing in the in general. Barring the occasional moments disproportionate account of racial profiling, “viewing and social media” circles. On one of presidential prowess he displays when gender discrimination, classism etc. hand Executive Producer, Shonda Rhimes he digs deep and thinks for himself, he’s not is praised for conceptualizing and penning a very presidential. So, are these debates warranted? Arguably powerful female protagonist, Olivia Pope; a yes. However, I contend that if you are brilliant, quick witted-politically connected So, why does this amazing woman continue living your own authentic life, then a Fixer - fitted with a resume and education to pass up other rising, interesting, powerful, fictional one even one based on some facts paralleling the elite 1%. It’s a role usually attractive and accomplished men for the will not corrode nor weaken the power you glorified by men; yet, Rhimes bravely potential of the President’s greatness? Well, hold to be a difference. and deftly pens a female as the star. She she has to have a complex character flaw or positions and portrays women as beautiful, the telling would not be as interesting. Come join the conversation, it’s healthy to fierce and formidable; while retaining debate, sharpen your minds and to share feminine qualities often sacrificed when Riddle solved or is it? perspectives. women possess power in male dominated Not according to the back of one hand; [email protected] arenas. there’s a point of view that’s uncomfortable, But on the other hand, why does this critical and conflicted with character, Olivia powerful, beautiful and brilliant woman Pope and Shonda Rhimes narrative which many believe blesses misogyny, ridicules

17 Founded in 1983... Uptown Gay & Lesbian Alliance “In Northeast Los Angeles for good.”

www.ugla.org e-mail: [email protected] P. O. Box 65111, L.A. 90065 (323) 258-8842

“An Afternoon of Food, Frivolity, and 2 Very Funny Comics”

Sunday, April 27, 2014, 1- 4 PM Suggested donation: $50 Friends Fundraiser featuring Jennie McNulty & Roz Esposito of for the Project Models of Excellence Scholarship Program 10 At a lovely home in Pasadena

project10.org

More info. [email protected] 626.577.4553

Lesbian News Magazine | April 2014 | www.LesbianNews.com HUMANITY HERE ALONE AGAIN...NATURALLY... | By Karen Williams

know that my friends love me. They let me The first two categories -- entrepreneurs and entertainers and the latest season of "Downton Abbey" in silence. know in countless ways. Recently, I notice -- are like me in that they are usually borderline I can rest until I am refreshed, sometimes for 12-16 the looks of concern on some of their faces. It workaholics who love the work that they do. Since I hours -- there you have it, the secret to my fabulous skin seems as though my single status is troubling to understand what it's like to work for one's self with the and youthful good looks...SLEEP! And the rewards of Ithem. I haven't the slightest reason why! devotion of a zealot, these liaisons are fun for me. Travel solitary living go on and on and on... is our middle name, and we get to meet up in exotic and Certainly the fight for marriage equality has provoked big city locales, treat ourselves to luscious meals, and Not that I don't imagine myself as coupled...one day! many folks in partnership to seek more formal unions engage in fanciful activities that we can both afford and It's just that for right now, I like my life the way it is! with their beloveds. Yet, the pressure is on for those of enjoy. The chronically unemployed, on the other hand, Sometimes, I feel that I have to rationalize my solo us who are single, either by choice or because it is the often have "means" issues and require being treated, existence, so I explain that after raising children for most natural positioning for our lives at this time. I fall which works when cash is flowing! Either way, there is decades of my life, my alone time is well-deserved. Yet, into both categories. no dealing with day-to-day life and for me, that's a plus! I don't need to do that! I can simply assert that for some of us, being alone naturally is our way of living our best Not only do I enjoy dating but also my lifestyle -- which You see, it's the daily regimen that I am not anxious to life. involves a great deal of travel for work -- is not the most share. I enjoy the comforts of my own home, a warm, conducive one for a stay-at-home relationship. Even in safe, and peaceful sanctuary that greets me after my May you strive to live your best life, one day at a time, the early days of my career, I would tell 9-to-5ers who traveling sojourns. Upon my return home, I get to chant in the ways that suit you. It's 2 o'clock in the afternoon, wanted to go out with me on weekends, that I AM the out loud in front of my Buddhist altar after whispering I'm home again at last, and I feel a nap coming on. Ta Ta! entertainment on the weekend! Most of my comedy gigs my prayers on ships, in hotels, and at friends' places. I fall between Friday and Sunday, which means that I wind love to cook, and one of my joys of being home again is [email protected] up dating entrepreneurs, entertainers, or the chronically preparing delicious organic meals. I can watch endless unemployed, all of whom have more time flexibility! reruns of "Everybody Loves Raymond" or "Seinfeld" Notes From Nat Babyface and Braxton rekindle the past while leads us gently into a new future

| By Nat Burns

riends and creative partners since the mid- rest of the . Smith on violin added in, the group came together in 2008 90s, Toni Braxton and Babyface (Kenneth at a club in Cambridge (UK). The club was one that they set Edmonds) have each gone through their Love, Marriage & Divorce was released in February of this up with friends for the express purpose of discovering new own broken relationships which may have year and debuted as number four on the Billboard during its and interesting music. Mixing classical strings, synths and Fset them up perfectly for their latest collaboration, first week. The R&B/HipHop Billboard listed it as number catchy electro beats was a stroke of genius and their sound Love, Marriage & Divorce. The majority of tracks one. Looks like this one may be Toni Braxton’s sixth top is setting new trends in very smart electronica. on this album are duets and all deal with the trials of ten U.S. album. This is one of the best Soul and R&B loving and leaving, with all the residual emotion that I have heard in a long time. One more feature that makes their work unique—they have goes along with it. no lead singer so the band is free to add in artists that they ©2014 Motown Records www.motownrecords.com like. This gives the band a new, invigorating sound on This is Babyface’s first new Now for a little unusual almost every release. Love Ssega, featured on “Mozart’s studio album in nearly seven fusion music—even a House” was a friend from their university days. Then Jack years and Toni’s first new refreshing new direction met Eliza Shaddad and her voice was later featured on album since 2010 when she for dance music. I’ve found “Birch” and “UK Shanty”. , featured in “Rather released Pulse. These R&B a fascinating new group to Be”, they heard on the Route 94 track “My Love”. superstars have a total of add to my list of favs in this Currently residing in London, Clean Bandit remains ready sixteen Grammy Awards genre-- Clean Bandit. between them, and are for to a whole new range of possibilities and the rumor is multi-platinum icons. , their eighteen that a saxophone—played by Jack—is the next instrument track, debut album, will to be added. I’m looking forward to that although the current I really loved this entire drop in May of this year balance is just so spot on, I’m not sure a change is needed. album but I confess to a and is available for pre- ©2014 Atlantic Records www.cleanbandit.co.uk particular fondness for “Roller Coaster” with its back order. While waiting, you and forth push and pull. “I Hope That You’re Okay”, can enjoy their spate of ‘Til next month, performed by Babyface alone, is a winner too. I also liked music videos on YouTube. I “Take It Back”, “Reunited” and “The D Word” all smooth, know I did. [email protected] expansive, excellent duets. I’d also like to mention “Heart Attack”, which may be the most popular song on the album. Made up of brothers Jack and Luke Patterson, with Its beat is a little more disco and it is more upbeat than the classically-trained Grace Chatto on and Neil Amin-

19 Antigone Rising | By Michele Khordoc

he all-female- met Dena our drummer, who boot-stompin'- had been very successful in alt-country-rock the Jersey cover band scene. band Antigone She joined us full time right TRising is on a meteoric away and has been with rise and showing no sign us for most of the life of of slowing down. the band. Nini has been a friend and writing partner This year alone, the New of ours for years. It became York based quartet is set to apparent in 2008 that she release not one but two EPs should join the band as the 'Whiskey & Wine - Volume lead singer. Her energy and 1" and "Whiskey & Wine - ability to be a great team Volume 2". player made it a perfect blend between the four of The first EP, "Whiskey us, on and off the stage! & Wine - Volume 1," dropped March 25, How would you describe 2014. The second one, the Antigone Rising sound "Whiskey & Wine - Volume to the uninitiated? 2," still in its production phase, is set to come Cathy: We call it alternative out October 28, 2014. country (alt-country). It’s a fusion country, pop, The fab four comprised rock and folk. Add a little of Nini Camps (lead jam band in there, and singer), Dena there's something for all! Tauriello (drums) and Basically, if the Eagles founding sisters Cathy were pretty and the Allman Henderson (guitar/vocals) The Lesbian News caught up with founding sisters Cathy Brothers had no facial hair, and Kristen Henderson (bass/vocals) just launched a and Kristen Henderson to talk about the rise and rise … and you’d have Antigone Rising! Pledge Music campaign to raise funds for their marketing, rise of Antigone Rising. promotion and touring efforts, donating 5% of the proceeds You're about to release two EPs this year - can you explain to GLAAD. Where does the name "Antigone Rising" come from and the strategy behind this marketing approach? what does it represent? Antigone Rising exploded into the spotlight in 2005 Cathy: The idea revolves around a consistent release of becoming the first band on Starbuck’s Hear Music (Lava Cathy Henderson: Kristen and I founded the band right new music and content throughout the year as opposed to Records) selling over 150,000 copies of their debut LP. after we graduated college. It was actually an extension of releasing a full length CD, promoting one or two songs, the all-girl band we had throughout college. We all ended and dropping out again to write and record the next CD. After releasing the 2011 album "23 Red" to great success, up in Greenwich Village in NYC and we picked up right People are consuming music and content much differently touring with acts such as The Rolling Stones, Aerosmith, where we left off. Except this time we were playing clubs on now, so it’s imperative to keep things new, exciting and The Allman Brothers Band, The Bangles and Rob Thomas, the legendary Bleecker St. with a new sophisticated name conversational. Each EP will feature 5 songs. The first EP, and traveling to the Middle East, spending time in Israel – “Antigone Rising”! Our then lead singer had recently Whiskey and Wine Vol 1 drops on March 25 (both Digital and the West Bank as cultural ambassadors for the United performed the lead in the play Antigone, and we felt strong and Traditional release). Every 6-8 weeks we will spotlight States Embassy, the band introduced last summer its latest synergies between ourselves and what the character stood one of the tracks off of the EP with additional content (video, single "That Was The Whiskey”, which was co-written with for. Essentially she embodied strength, motivation and an alternative versions, “the making of”, etc.). This way each Nashville songwriter Lori McKenna (Faith Hill, Little Big unwavering determination as a woman in a man's world song gets a chance to be featured. Following that we will Town, Hunter Hayes). to stand up for (and follow through on) what she believed release Whiskey and Wine Vol 2 at the end of October and in regardless of consequence. We felt these values really repeat the process. The goal is to remain relevant and top of The band has already been turning up everywhere from the translated strongly to us as women in the music industry, mind, while giving fans a deeper look / experience around pages of Billboard, Buzzfeed and the Huffington Post where barriers, obstacles and stereotypes facing women each of the songs. to appearances on The Today Show and The Tonight artists / musicians / bands still exist. If we can serve as an Show, among others. example for other girls and women to channel their inner Looking at music in the digital age, do you think Albums artist, then we’ve succeeded. We need more of us out their are still relevant especially seeing that most mainstream More recently, Kristen Ellis-Henderson garnered doing our thing! artists today put out brand new singles every other much media attention when she and her wife, business week? executive Sarah Kate Ellis (who was recently appointed In a few words can you give the genesis of the band? president and CEO of GLAAD), were featured on the cover (How did you meet? What brought you together, etc?) Cathy: My personal taste is yes, but the speed of technology of TIME Magazine's groundbreaking April 8,2013 Marriage is forcing us all to think differently about how music is Equality issue. Cathy: Originally we were college friends playing out on now being consumed. And this directly affects how you the NYC scene with big dreams and aspirations. As they approach your recorded music and your releases. Everything Having dazzled audiences across the globe and invaded our started to become a reality, it became apparent that some is real-time now, so in order to remain relevant you can’t be iPods, Antigone Rising has never been more primed to take members actually wanted to keep their jobs and benefits yesterday’s news. You’ve got to have new material ready to the musical world by storm. (stability!!) and not throw it all away for a band, a van and go. As a result of limited time, long-form artistic expression a dream! Understandable, it is scary! So along the way, we / concept albums have gotten tossed aside for quicker hits. I do feel that everything happens in waves, and maybe down the road the “new, fresh approach” will be full-length albums! But for the short term, that just isn’t the case.

Lesbian News Magazine | April 2014 | www.LesbianNews.com Speaking about Albums, how different would you Is it important for you to give back to the community? than a band of straight guys. So. One door closes, another say "Whiskey & Wine" Volumes 1 & 2 are from your door opens. previous records? What can fans expect from the new Kristen: Absolutely, yes. I cannot answer this emphatically material? enough. As an artist who is given the opportunity to be in Speaking about hitting the road, you've toured with some the spotlight from time to time, I personally feel it is my very impressive international superstars including The Kristen Henderson: The biggest difference between Whiskey obligation to LGBT people, kids especially, to be vocal, to Rolling Stones, Rob Thomas, Aerosmith and The Bangles & Wine, Volumes 1 & 2 from previous records is how we are be out, and to be proud. I hope my band and my family stand - how was that experience like? releasing them. Basically, we're taking a full-length album as an example of what you can be and do. and splitting it in two, releasing them about 6 months apart. Kristen: Those were all great experiences. Honestly, after There is a definite strategy behind that, in the sense that CDs You're very committed to your fans, how do you stay touring with The Stones I felt like if it all ended the next day, nowadays come out, everyone downloads the 1 song from it, connected with them and how do you get them involved? I'd be ok with that. And I actually still feel that way! Don't and the other 9 songs disappear into oblivion. Our goal is to get me wrong; I don't want anything to end. But touring with The Stones will keep you high as a kite for several years after the experience.

Any musicians you would want to collaborate with?

Kristen: We love the Indigo Girls. Their harmonic sense is genius… the Bangles too, for that matter. Having any of those women produce, co-write or sing on our CDs would be pretty amazing.

On that note, who are some of your influences and why do they resonate with you?

Kristen: My three biggest influences are the Beatles for songwriting and production, Shawn Colvin for songwriting and guitar playing, and the Allman Brothers for their live show and touring ethic.

What "guilty pleasure" song would we find right now if we were to look at your iPod playlist?

Kristen: Well, Carrie Underwood, Blown Away. I like listening to that on Volume 12. Cathy and I listened to the Monkees on full blast on a car ride home after our photo shoot the other night. Backstreet Boys might be my guiltiest - the songs 'Incomplete' and 'I Want it That Way.' release 5 songs at a time in a collection, but really celebrate and exploit, for lack of a better word, each and every song. As an independent band, we count on our fans downloading every song. So if we have to give people a reason to do so, we will. And that's our intention with Whiskey & Wine, Volumes 1 & 2.

Your songs have strong lyrics - how does AR write songs and what is the process like?

Kristen: Fortunately, Nini and I live close to each other and we have very similar lives - we're both raising young families and dealing with life in a band - coming and going. So our entry point is usually the same whenever we sit down to write.

Is there a particular message you are hoping to get across to your fans with these two new EP, which you can share with us?

Kristen: I think the one message we are trying to get across with the two new EPs is to always do what you love doing, and sometimes you just have to think outside the box. As for the music itself, we just hope you listen to it and have a good time while you are.

What organizations, causes and/or charity endeavors do you support and champion? Kristen: Social media, practically 24/7. We just stay. in. What else is in store for AR in 2014? Kristen: We love performing at Pride Festivals and being touch! part of the LGBT movement. Any time we can give to Kristen: Aside from making videos for every single song on Did you have to overcome any challenges in terms organizations fighting hard for equality, our band is on board. Whiskey & Wine Volumes 1 and 2, we have a little dream of potentially being labeled a "lesbian band"? I am co-hosting an event called 'Winter Heat' for Empire starting our own festival. You never know... Pride Agenda on March 20 in New York City along with Lea Delaria, Jane Velez-Mitchell and Heather Matarazzo. So Kristen: I imagine we do all the time. People don't usually For More Information visit: www.AntigoneRising.com any time we can lend our time or name to LGBT events, we say to our faces, the reason we're not having you back is will be there. because you're an all-lesbian band. But I bet it happens. On the flip side, we get booked at Pride Festivals way quicker 21 QUEERLY QUESTIONING Finding Justice in an Unjust World | By Juno Parrenas, PhD

ometimes I feel that identifying as in what is ultimately unjustifiable murder? California. One cop was white, the other black and lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender or both were men. queer is as ubiquitous as being a lefty. Where can we turn for justice? When we scream, It is an easy feeling to have in the city will others be there to respond? Fifty years ago I am not sure if the problem of police abuse of Swhere I currently live: Philly, the city of brotherly in 1964, Kitty Genovese, died in an alley from power can be assuaged by having a genuinely and sisterly love. It is also an easy feeling to have stab wounds after having been sexually assaulted, diverse police force, although I reckon diversity in the city where I am about to move: Columbus, despite her screams and cries for help in her is the minimal necessity for gaining trust in the Ohio, which has a large-enough LGBT population densely populated neighborhood in New York police. The social theorist Max Weber was right for one to decide between living in the hip lesbian City. Perhaps her being a lesbian in 1964 was when he said that the state, through the police, neighborhood or the lesbian mom neighborhood. the reason why her neighbors “didn’t want to get holds a monopoly on violence. Those who commit I know all too well that the life I lead is lucky: I involved”—as one was famously quoted as saying. violence who are not part of the police or the am lucky to feel safe for simply being myself and armed forces face the full letter of the law. Police being able to live my life as I wish. Looking back to 1964, people today point out resources to commit such violence and their ability that 9-1-1 was yet in existence and working class to gain information and knowledge will continue My heart goes out to Britney Cosby and Crystal people “back then,” like Kitty and her neighbors, to be the source of hesitation and wariness for Jackson. Each 24 years old and described as ‘soul were wary of the police. I say “back then” in some, despite attempts at gaining diversity. mates,’ their lives were brutally cut short. We may quotes because the police for many continue to be never know if the crime committed against them a force of unjust violence in their lives. We were all How can those who deserve justice find it in was driven by hatred. What we do know is that reminded of this when, within twenty-four hours, an unjust world? What peace can be had in the two young women were taken away from each news broke out that two different police officers aftermath of a violent and wrongful death? other, from their loved ones, under harrowing committed rape against those who they were circumstances. How can their families, all of those called to protect for domestic violence incidents. [email protected] who love and miss them, their spirits, find justice One case was in Detroit and the other in San Jose, VOWS THAT WOW

| By Rita Lamar, CEO of Lamar Wedding Center

kay, you’ve done all the necessary planning well? Chances are, if you select a modern day, hip If you need inspiration, you can begin your vows for your wedding. Your venue is reserved, officiant, they will support whatever you decide and with words to your favorite song, a tender poem or a your music is planned and all your vendors can offer suggestions for writing your vows, as well. meaningful quote. Talk about how your relationship are in place. Now, it’s time to write your inspires you… how she makes you feel, why you Ovows. There is so much more to be said than just “I Discuss your personal feelings with them. They’ve chose her, what keeps you interested and why you do.” Some couples go with traditional vows… for done this many times before and can help you want to spend the rest of your life with her. What do better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness articulate and express the love you are feeling at this you think of when you think of your partner? How and in health, etc. But isn’t there a more personal special time. magical does she make you feel? What are your way to pledge your undying love to one another at the dreams for your future together? Forget the clichés. ceremony? If you are like most couples today, you Discuss the length of your vows. I had an experience Write from your heart. Feel free to be creative, but may want to take a more individualized approach. don’t be afraid to keep it simple. There is nothing more meaningful than writing your “Planning” “ Discussion” own marriage vows for your wedding day. But unless Delivery: After you’ve finished writing your you’re a poet or professional writer, it may not be so “Delivery” Don’t Forget to personalized vows, share them with someone you easy. Breathe. trust and ideally, someone who knows you both. It where one partner read something short and to can’t hurt to get a second opinion. And don’t just think “Planning” “ Discussion” “Delivery” Don’t Forget the point: You are my soul mate, my friend, my about saying your vows. Practice actually saying to Breathe. confidant, dance partner and love of my life andI them out loud, just as you will on your wedding day. can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with you. Only Also, even if you have an incredible memory, write If you don’t know where to begin, your first step to be followed by the other partner reciting two full down your vows and keep a copy in your sleeve or should be to make an appointment for a consultation pages of dialogue. Ouch! So, my personal suggestion jacket pocket, just in case your nerves get the best of with your minister or officiant to discuss your would be to share what you’ve written with your you and you go blank. Some of the best actors on the ideas. You may want to think about how modern or officiant just to make sure both of you are in sync. planet did just that while accepting their little golden traditional you want your ceremony to be. Do you A trusted officiant will never share your information Oscar at the Academy Awards. You can do it, too. want to recite your personal vows first and then have with your significant other. And remember, it’s a vow, the officiant ask you to repeat after him or her, as not a monologue. The only thing that’s left is to imagine yourself pledging your love while looking into your fiancée’s eyes… and don’t forget to breathe!

Lesbian News Magazine | April 2014 | www.LesbianNews.com Comic Of The Month Vicki Wagner

| By Lynda Montgomery

right around you. I’m always fascinated by the nitely did not belong to because we did not grow crazy things that people do. And when it is based up with a lot of money. I was bullied for all five on my own life, no one else can really steal it. of those years.

Were you always the fun, popular kid? I had to make friends with the other kids who were the outcasts- and I mean the dorks and nerds and Hell NO! In fact when I went to Catholic school kids no one wanted to be friends with. So maybe from the 3rd-8th grade I was a total outcast. I that is why I am so accepting of people and don’t went to school with the same 30 kids year after judge. In high school I fell in with the “I don’t year. They were all in a rich kid clique that I defi- give a crap what you think” crowd and became the class clown. I did things to get a laugh because it amused me. I blossomed a lot more in public high school because I was allowed to let my guard down and have fun.

Have you ever had someone say “You’re a co- median, tell me something funny.”?

All the time! In fact, when people find out I am a comedian that is usually the first thing they say.

When I am at a party or in a crowd, this is the last thing I want to hear. If you want to hear me say something funny, pay to come to my show and sit in the audience like everyone else.

I don’t ask people what they do for a living and Is everything you say onstage planned? then when finding out they are a plumber say, Well it is a routine, which means that it is an act “Come over to my house and fix my pipes.” It’s that I have written but I always try to throw some- old and played out, so stop it. thing fresh in there. It could be right at the top- something another comic said that struck me as funny, or something I observed in the club or on the way there.

One time 5 minutes before I went onstage some- thing came to me. I had never tried it before but I went up and opened with it. It killed! Meaning it got tons of laughs. I now use it at every show I do! So no, not everything is rehearsed and I tend to do quite a bit of Improv with the audience at my shows.

Where do you get your comedy ideas?

I am an observational comic, which means I joke about what I observe. I usually put my life expe- riences in my act. Sometimes after a set, peo- ple will come up to me and say, “Well, that really didn’t happen did it?” And I am like, Yes, it did. There are so many opportunities to find the funny

23 LIFE COACH’S CORNER

| By Kristi Pallino

sit and write this column only days after when I would pull out my yoga mat to stretch, So let me ask. Are you first string in your life? If putting down my dog of 16 years, the pain of and she would get to it first and do “down dog” not, what needs to happen for you to be a winner? her loss is still raw! But I know it was the best literally! How can you be better for your team of family and thing for her as her hips got worse. My sister friends? Athletes are in shape for one reason only Iand I refused to let her suffer, so we hired a vet Watching her grow over the years was a true gift. I – to be as strong as they can possibly be. The same to come to the house. We laid Scout on her bed, couldn’t help but be reminded how truly valuable goes for us. If we want to win in life, we need with candles lit, and I led a meditation for her easy life is. Sometimes we get so caught up in the day- a strong healthy body and a positive attitude that transition. We pet her and loved her, told her where to-day routine, we forget life is precious! We must will not even consider losing an option. she was going and not to be afraid, and she went take care of ourselves on all levels. peacefully. What measures can you take today to be an all- Be proactive – not reactive – toward your life. star? Write down 5 things you can do to build Scout was my companion, protector, joy, Being proactive means taking action for yourself your body, mind, soul and emotional state. Let’s comedian, and my angel. She taught me so much rather than waiting for change to knock on your get started! The month of April is a great time for about patience—like when she would chew up an door. It’s putting yourself on the top of your “to change – it is the month of blooming and rebirth!! expensive pair of shoes. What could I do but just do” list. The folks who are getting what they want breathe? She introduced me to neighbors when she out of life are proactive. In the end without costing I hold you on high ground sister. Knock this one would find an opportunity to jet out the front door you a dime, proactivity is priceless in time. out of the park, I know you can!!! I love you, your and go into random backyards. sister and Life Coach, Kristi Every time in sports, we need to show we are on She made me laugh out loud when I was with top of our game. What happens if the ball comes to [email protected] clients, and she would decide it was time to play you, but instead of throwing it, you procrastinate with her squeaky toy. She made my heart smile and miss the play? You probably wouldn’t be first string; you'd be second or third.

The Ultimate Resource in Female Seeking Southern California Female for Friendship and Enjoying Life. Call me Use Our App to Find Out Which 323-979-4876 Businesses Support Our Community! Join LN's Facebook GayAndLesbianPages.com and Tweeter Tom Adler, Owner 1-866-718-GAYS (4297)

Lesbian News Magazine | April 2014 | www.LesbianNews.com MOVIES EYE C SOMEWHERE IN THE RAINBOW: Outfest Fusion celebrates 11th year

| By John Esther

solo role to his new lady, Ethel (Okema T. Moore, who has quite a voice), Odell has to decide what is best for him. Filled with subtle humor and a fine acting crew -- which also includes Celestine Rae as Peninsula, the girl in love with Odell; Nedra McClyde as Peninsula’s rebellious sister, Fallujah; and Chiké Johnson as the boys’ grandma – writer and co-director McClyde will have the words “I am gay” in your head long after the credits roll.

arch 14-16 saw the 11th year of Hollywood actor, Adina Spencer (Arlene Chico- On the afternoon of the Outfest Fusion LGBT People Lugo), who returns to New York after the death Saturday, March 15, was the “Pink is the New of Color Film Festival. The only of her sister. Unable to meet with her mom (no Black” series, featuring Dyke Central: Taboo. A multicultural LGBT film festival mention of dad), Adina wonders the Bronx, web series set in Oakland, Dyke Central could Mof its kind, the festival was held at the Egyptian contemplating the paths she has taken which has be summed up as a working class version of Theatre in Hollywood, California. led her to a successful professional career yet a The L Word. In this episode, Fabiana (Carla dismal personal one. Pauli) has just moved in with Gin (Giovannie Amusingly, the festival was enjoying its Espiritu) and Alex (Tai Rockett). This causes celebration and success for LGBT filmmaking This is one of those films that could have been friction between Alex and his girlfriend, Jackie as Fred Phelps, the founder and pastor of the better if the ideas behind it were fleshed out a (Comika Beaudry), when she finds out Alex and “God hates Fags” Westboro Baptist Church, was bit more. Instead, it comes off as a pretentious Fabiana go way back. in hospice. mess at times. The script forces these inner confrontations with contrived scenarios, notably Lastly, this year’s recipient of the Fusion (This was also the same week Heineken and the dinner seen with Toni (Deidre Herlihy), Achievement Award went to Alec Mapa, a Samuel Adams pulled sponsorship for St. Hilary (Melissa Navia) and Kate (Nadia standup comedian of Filipino descent. An Patrick’s parades in New York and Boston, Serantes). awards ceremony, party and screening all rolled respectively, for the parades’ homophobic into one, after the award presentation and before regulations.) Also during the opening night there was a the Outfest Fusion Gala After-Party, there was a program called “Sh*ts & Giggles,” which screening of Alec Mapa, Baby Daddy, a funny The opening night festivities included the featured several shorts and a live performance documentary featuring Mapa performing at the screening of Blackbird, the latest film by Patrik- from Raneir Pollard. Amongst those shorts was Renberg Theatre. Mapa tackles a few issues but Ian Polk (Noah’s Arc). Starring Julian Walker, a fine little diddy called First Baptist. the one that resonates the most is his take on he Mo’nique and Isaiah Washington, the film is and his spouse’s recent adoption of young boy. about coming out in a small American town. In First Baptist, Odell (Isaiah Johnson) wants (Unlike Phelps, Washington learned his lesson.) to live for the lord and sing solo for his local [email protected] church. But when his brother, Moses (Willie E. Written and directed by Daniel Armando, Teacher), finds out Odell is gay, Moses gives the What it Was follows the plight of a Hispanic

25 what’s next for olivia in 2014? by Stephanie Papadakis

2013 was a very special year for Olivia Travel. The company celebrated its 40th year with five sold out anniversary trips including two 2,100-passenger Caribbean cruises and back-to-back Punta Cana resort extravaganzas. All of these trips featured fantastic musicians and comediennes includ- ing Wanda Sykes, Suzanne Westenhoefer and a reunion performance by Meg Christian and Cris Williamson. Rounding out the year was a spectacular Virgin Isles New Year’s Eve cruise packed with “Sheroes” including Billie Jean King, Edie Windsor, Col. Grethe Cammermeyer and Tammy Smith.

the olivia experience If you have never traveled with Olivia before, you owe it to yourself to Each Olivia trip has its own special flavor. Relaxing cruises and resorts experience all that they uniquely offer. Olivia always charters the entire allow you to kick back, unwind and luxuriate. Equality and Leadership ship or buys out the whole resort to provide a safe space for women to forums provide an opportunity to actually participate in advancing the be out and feel free. Trips are comprised of women of all ages, from all LGBT cause. And more intimate and immersive escorted tours and over the world. adventures offer a wide array of incredible destinations and cultures around the world. On most trips, Olivia also creates specific programs tailored to meet the unique needs of single and special needs travelers. Olivia’s Sisters at Sea (on cruises) and Sisters at Play (at resorts) programs are designed to bring women of color together to mingle and participate in special activities.

entertainment par excellence And then there’s Olivia’s legendary entertainment. Olivia brings you the best of the best in lesbian entertainment, featuring artists such as Melissa Etheridge and Indigo Girls, comediennes Lily Tomlin and Whoopi Goldberg, special guests like Dr. Maya Angelou, Billie Jean King and Martina Navratilova, and financial expert, Suze Orman.

Lesbian News Magazine | April 2014 | www.LesbianNews.com what’s in store for 2014 2014 promises even more incredible adventures with the lesbian-owned what’s next for olivia in 2014? company. The Cancún, Mexico Resort (May 3-10, 2014) at Club by Stephanie Papadakis Med promises a week of all-inclusive fun where almost all your activities, food and most drinks are included in the cost of your trip! 2013 was a very special year for Olivia Travel. The company celebrated its 40th year with five sold Beverly McClellan from NBC’s The Voice will be there to rock your socks off, as will comediennes Gina Yashere, Dana Goldberg, out anniversary trips including two 2,100-passenger Caribbean cruises and back-to-back Punta Mimi Gonzalez and Sandra Valls. Cana resort extravaganzas. All of these trips featured fantastic musicians and comediennes includ- If you’re a cruiser, you can opt for the 7-night journey with 1,250 women ing Wanda Sykes, Suzanne Westenhoefer and a reunion performance by Meg Christian and Cris through Canada and New England (May 17-24, 2014). The itinerary Williamson. Rounding out the year was a spectacular Virgin Isles New Year’s Eve cruise packed with includes some of North America’s most LGBT-friendly cities including Montréal, Québec City, Provincetown and Boston, home of the first “Sheroes” including Billie Jean King, Edie Windsor, Col. Grethe Cammermeyer and Tammy Smith. legal gay marriage in the United States. The hilarious comedic talents of Lily Tomlin and others will delight you on board.

In July, pack your bags (and whet those appetites!) on the gastronomi-

cally-themed Culinary Cruise in Italy, France & Spain (July 20-

27, 2014). Olivia has planned cooking demos, in-port excursions and seeking some adventure? evening tasting menus. Lesbian celebrity chefs Josie Smith Malave and If you are seeking something more adventuresome, get ready for Olivia’s Kasja Alger will be on board to offer cooking tips, and Karen Williams, African Safari Adventure (November 2-11, 2014). You’ll visit Nairobi, Roxanna Ward, Sweet Baby J’ai and Jessica Kirson will entertain you. Kenya; the Serengeti National Park in Tanzania; the Ngorongoro Crater With ports of call including Rome, Corsica, Livorno, Porto Venere, and Conservation Area in Tanzania; and the Maasai Mara Game Reserve Portofino, Roses and Barcelona, this will be a delicious experience! in Kenya. This is a trip on almost everyone’s Bucket List --- and rightfully so! August presents the opportunity to relax, rejuvenate and revitalize in Hawaii (August 30-September 5, 2014) at the luxurious, five-star 2015 and beyond Olivia’s 2015 calendar is also filling up quickly because it’s the 25th the olivia experience Mauna Lani Bay Hotel and Bungalows. Olivia has arranged a compre- anniversary of its travel company. What better way to celebrate than going If you have never traveled with Olivia before, you owe it to yourself to Each Olivia trip has its own special flavor. Relaxing cruises and resorts hensive Health and Wellness program to make this trip extra special. “Down Under” on Olivia’s first-ever Australia & New Zealand Cruise experience all that they uniquely offer. Olivia always charters the entire allow you to kick back, unwind and luxuriate. Equality and Leadership Yoga and meditation classes will be offered daily, and lectures and Odyssey (February 13-24, 2015). Spend 11 days sailing from Sydney to ship or buys out the whole resort to provide a safe space for women to forums provide an opportunity to actually participate in advancing the workshops from wellness experts in our community will help you the ports of Hobart and Port Arthur in Tasmania, cruising the scenic and be out and feel free. Trips are comprised of women of all ages, from all LGBT cause. And more intimate and immersive escorted tours and learn more about how to live life to the fullest. striking Fiordland National Park, and seeing Dunedin, Akaroa, Wellington over the world. adventures offer a wide array of incredible destinations and cultures In November, you can live a life of excess at the recently renovated, and Auckland in New Zealand. Need we say more? around the world. On most trips, Olivia also creates specific ALL-INCLUSIVE, dazzling Hard Rock Hotel Vallarta (November programs tailored to meet the unique needs of single and special 1-8, 2014) located near Puerto Vallarta, Mexico’s most LGBT-friendly With plenty of women, magnificent destinations, luxurious accommoda- needs travelers. Olivia’s Sisters at Sea (on cruises) and Sisters at city. This beautiful, rock star hotel offers you luxury and class with a tions, mouth-watering cuisine, white sand beaches and world-class lesbian Play (at resorts) programs are designed to bring women of color Hard Rock edge. entertainment…where will you go next? Surely with Olivia! together to mingle and participate in special activities. Thanksgiving week offers a wonderful respite this year from the need For more information, visit www.olivia.com or entertainment par excellence to cook your own turkey on Olivia’s Mayan Caribbean Culinary And then there’s Olivia’s legendary entertainment. Olivia brings you Cruise (November 23-30, 2014). You’ll explore Tampa; Cozumel; call 800-631-6277 to speak to an Olivia travel the best of the best in lesbian entertainment, featuring artists such Belize City; Mahogany Bay, Roatan, Honduras; and Costa Maya, consultant. as Melissa Etheridge and Indigo Girls, comediennes Lily Tomlin Mexico on foot, in the water and through your palate with savory and Whoopi Goldberg, special guests like Dr. Maya Angelou, cooking demos by lesbian celebrity chefs who will feature the delicious Billie Jean King and Martina Navratilova, and financial expert, flavors of the region. With Mayan ruins to visit, the second largest barrier Suze Orman. reef in the world for diving --- and 1,300 new friends to make—this trip is sure to sell out early!

27 Lesbians And The Female “Fertility Clock” It Has Special Significance For Our Community

LGBT PEOPLE OF COLOR FILM FESTIVAL | MARCH 14-16, 2014 | Sherron Mills, N.P

here is no question that in recent years major advances in reproductive science have made it possible for women a good bit beyond their high-fertility 20s to give birth. But the sooner a healthy woman with no Tserious reproductive issues chooses to become pregnant, the fewer fertility treatments – both limited and more complex - will probably be necessary. For many lesbian couples and singles, with which I have worked for many years as a women’s health practitioner and founder of a lesbian-focused sperm bank, the ticking of the fertility clock can present some special challenges. In the case of our sperm bank, this is evidenced by the fact that about 60 per cent of our clients are over 35, the age of onset of an accelerating drop in fertility. A recent study pointed to the fact that many women Visit our pop-up, micro-cinema and filmmaking lab in Leimert Park. mistakenly believe the drop-off starts later, at 40. Take a free class on screenwriting, directing, editting and enter for a With lesbians who were previously in heterosexual relationships chance to win a cash prize for a film you make. - and may have had children before going through the process Attend a free screening every weekend night. of identifying as gay - the decision to have a child with a female partner typically occurs later in her fertility cycle. Many single lesbians seeking to become mothers often face the same issue Fusion Lab, March 19 - April 19 as a single heterosexual woman who wants a baby: the need to More information and to sign up for a class, visit outfest.org develop a career and establish a solid enough financial base to raise a child without a current partner. There is also the fact that many lesbians choose artificial insemination using a donor from a sperm bank to become pregnant. This means using previously frozen sperm, which the FDA requires to permit infectious disease testing. Frozen sperm does not deliver as high a dose of live sperm per insemination as is delivered in sexual intercourse. In addition, because ovulation occurs in a very tight window each month, it must be closely tracked. This is easily done with the help of a variety of tracking tools but does demand a woman’s close attention to ovulation signals on an ongoing basis during the insemination process. This is, of course, less of a concern for a woman having regular sexual intercourse. So, yes, lesbians face some special challenges on the road to becoming mothers. But by being aware of their fertility clocks – and using the variety of reproductive science options open to them to help achieve pregnancy – thousands of more babies each year are being born to lesbian mothers, even if their 20s are a good bit behind them. Sherron Mills is founder and president of Pacific Reproductive Services Sperm Bank, Insemination & Fertility Services.

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Lesbian News Magazine | April 2014 | www.LesbianNews.com Living Out UNCORK YOUR WINE SELLER You Picked A Fine Time A Spotlight on Santa Barbara County Women Winemakers; | By Sally Sheklow Meet the Ladies of V! | Mikey Consbruck y wife left me. Not left me, left me, she’s only gone to a convention for her work, but still. M She left me here with our two cats, Pussy Galore and Hari Pussy (not their real names) and flew off to her event, happy for a respite from the daily grind and from our gray Oregon winter. While she’s a thousand miles away stuffing her pockets with business cards and hotel toiletries, I’m home alone. This normally would be no big deal – we’re both self-reliant women and can manage just fine living stag on the rare occasion one of us has to leave town without the other. This is different. You know that “in sickness and in health” thing some of us vowed (and are finally gaining legal recognition for)? My darling Wifey has been doing double love-honor-and- is the only Native American winemaker in the world! Tara cherish duty since January while I’ve been laid up with a is part of the Chumash tribe from the Santa Ynez valley in disc injury, flat on my back – and not in the fun way, either. Santa Barbara County making wines from grapes grown on reservation land. She has been interested in wine since she was I’m happy to report I’ve finally improved enough to walk very young and focused her studies on enology at Fresno State. upright without assistance and even do a few domestic Tara spent time interning in California and then moved to things like fixing dinner and washing dishes, simple tasks I France to further her training. After spending 9 years in France couldn’t perform these last many weeks. Wifey, who works she came back to California and is now the head winemaker full time, was doing it all and I have to say, has been lovely at Kita’. All of her wines are phenomenal, but her Grenache about it. Now that I’m mobile, though, she’s less gallant. Blanc, Syrah and Sauvignon Blanc are truly not to be missed. Last night before she left she made a big show of how relieved she is to be off K.P. and how confident she is that I Tymari LoRe is the youngest in this mix of wine professionals. can hold down the fort. t is no secret that wine has been a very male dominated Tymari is the assistant winemaker at Kita’ Wines, working Oh, swell. Sure, it’s great to walk again, to get out of the industry in the past. While the tide seems to be changing, very closely with Tara Gomez. It was Tara who first ignited house for more than doctor appointments and physical slowly, there are some very dynamic and talented Tymari’s passion for wines when the two of them met at J Lohr therapy, even if it’s only around the block, checking my women making a big impression on the enology scene. Vineyards. Tymari’s professional path began at Cal Poly San posture and pelvic tilt with every cautious step. Remember ISanta Barbara County alone has several notable female Luis Obispo then took her to Australia, Europe and back to Cal I’ve been doing pretty much NOTHING. winemakers like Tessa Parker, Tamari LoRe, Tara Gomez, Poly to finish her degree in Viniculture and Agribusiness. She Sonja Magdevski and Clarissa Nagy to name a few. I am is soft spoken upon first meeting her, but really lights up when Pussy duty is a lot of work. Our Pussy Galore is an older girl very excited and honored to introduce them to all of you! talking about, and drinking good wine! with health issues (Welcome to my world!). Her vet recently put her on an herb and raw food diet which Wifey has been Sonja Magdevski learned the basics of winemaking as a administering, along with Pussy’s thyroid pill, the whole youngster from her grandmother in Macedonia. Sonja’s time I’ve been down. This is no easy feat, even for Wifey professional winemaking, however, is a love story unlike who has a good strong back. any other. She was pursued, courted and finally agreed to a “first date” helping her now husband plant vines on his estate. Running this show all by myself I’ve become aware that: Had Sonja’s husband not been persistent she may have never 1.) Pussy Galore does not like to be caught, 2.) She has very created her Casa Dumetz label. The world is a much better strong jaws, and 3.) Raw cat food is disgusting. place because he did catch her! My personal favorite is her It’s now up to me to twice a day count out the four drops of big floral Viognier. one herbal tincture and eight of the other, mix them in 2 ccs of warm water, draw that solution up into the syringe, sneak It seems Clarissa Nagy is an experienced multitasker. Not up on Pussy and hold her still while I lift her head and pry only is she the winemaker for Riverbench winery, determines open her mouth, her the pill and herbal-squirt chaser, all what varietals will be grown in the Gary Vineyard associated while avoiding teeth, claws, and back strain. Then there’s with Riverbench, she’s also started her own wine label called the raw rodent and bird organs and (cat’s natural diet, says CNagy. Clarissa got her start in 1999 and has excelled ever our vet) to be served three times daily, at room temp, the since. She approaches the industry from a chemist’s point only way either cat will touch the stuff. of view. Her first job in the wine industry was working in a Tessa Parker is third generation winemaker following in the wineries lab and cellar. If you love Pinot Noir she has not just This is hard. I’d rather lie back down and return to doing footsteps of her grandfather, Fess Parker, and father, Fess one but two delicious examples of the grape. nothing. Parker Jr. While her father and grandfather both produce(d) Oh, wait, here’s a text from Wifey. Sunny, warm, biz is more common varietals such as Syrah, Viognier, Chardonnay, For more information on these accomplished women and their good. How’s everything there? Cabernet and Merlot, Tessa wanted to forge her own path amazing wines contact V Wine Room in West Hollywood. and has been working on perfecting varietals originating And remember, life is too short for bad wine…sip in good Wedding vows should probably include something about from Southern Italy. Tessa focuses energy on Sagiovese and health! not kvetching over long distances. It’s only fair. Vermentino. At just 27 years old she is looked upon as the authority on these wines among her peers, with experienced V Wine Room NSA eavesdroppers, enjoy my reply: Pussies are great and winemakers benchmarking her as the gold standard of those I’m getting better every day. particular varietals. Her skillfully crafted wines are produced 903 Westbourne Drive, West Hollywood, CA 90069 [email protected] under the label Tessa Marie. vwesthollywood.com Tara Gomez is truly a standout in the wine industry. She [email protected]

29 LESBIANS ON who’s LOCATION

Lesbian News who? 40th Anniversary Party

Reba and Crystal Lisa, Ella, Gladi, Leslie

Ella and Gladi Marsha and Lupe

Ella

Michael, Stacy, Ella, Di Lynda

Ernie, Mark, Jennifer,Pete Melissa, Teyo, Lupe Lynda

Lupe and Gladi Nick, Gladi, Linda, Crystal

Patty and Marion Marsha, Ella, Donald, Stacy Karyn,Miki,Gail, Stacy, Dru, Ella, Lynda Joanne and Kristi 40th Anniversary Party

Lesbian News Magazine | April 2014 | www.LesbianNews.com 40th Anniversary Cake Carol, Stacy, Evie, Donald,Ella, Gladi

Judy, Yolanda, Porter, Di

Carl, CJ, Gladi, Ella Gladi, Ella, Debbie, Tami

Ella Matthes, Publisher LN

Gladi, Ella, Jeffrey Carl, CJ, leslie, Stephanie, Donald,Jeffrey, Michael, Miki, Stacy

Di, Gail, Evie, Carol

Carl,Jeffrey,Judy,CJ CJ and Carl Gladi, Marion, Patty

31 THE SOUND OF LESBIANS: Installment Three

| By Sally Sheklow

I was especially delighted to note that each one was Me, who wants to have some fun wearing a special little leather accessory. Me, who knows what's in my head Liesl struck a pose in her black leather . Lousia tipped back her black leather cap. Frederica looked Me, who understands my needs handsome in her black leather vest. Gert sported a Me, who likes a friend in bed studded back leather bracelet. Marta’s muscular arms were adorned with tight black leather arm bands. Bri- That will bring us back to ME! gita’s waist was accentuated by a hefty black leather Me, me, me, belt. And little Gretel showed off her powerful thighs in a short, short black leather mini-skirt (All join in) he drive home from an out-of-town lesbian sex workshop prompted our carful of dykes Maria: Me, a queer, a female queer to make up a song about the lesbian sexual Oh, VonTramp women, look what you’ve done! practices, desires, and fantasies we’d learned Me, a hardcore lesbi-unn You’ve converted that ratty old leather furniture into Tabout that day, and our version of My Favorite Things these fabulous accessories! How resourceful! How Me, the one who loves myself was born. But who can stop at just one lesbian sex creative! I am so impressed with your enthusiasm. song? Not me. Before long I’d conjured up Maria and Me, who wants to have some fun the Von Tramp Family Singers and an entire full- Why don’t we just sit down right here and begin our Me, who knows what's in my head blown musical comedy parody which, overcoming all lessons now? semblance of decorum, I took on the road as a one Me, who understands my needs woman show. The copyright attorneys for the Rogers I strapped on my guitar and the Von Tramps gathered and Hammerstein estate caught wind of my act and ‘round, their earnest faces shining with eagerness. Me, who likes a friend in bed slapped me with a cease and desist order (Ouch!). Their hunger for knowledge about their sexuality affirmed my choice to become a lesbian sex therapist. That will bring us back to ME! Fortunately, Lesbian News has graciously offered to I was thrilled to launch into this song -- they caught (In rousing counterpoint) let me share the show with you. The music is copy- on quickly and joined right in. right protected, but nobody can stop us from singing Me, me me along, which I hope you and your friends will gleeful- Me-Me-Me Me, me me ly do. Enjoy!] (To the tune of Do Re Mi) Me, me me The Sound of Lesbians Maria: Me, me me In our last episode, Maria, a novice lesbian sex coun- Let's start at the very beginning selor, arrives at the home of the Von Tramp family When you know the things you like where she promptly stirs up their simmering sexual A very good place to start tension. She soothes their angst with a rousing rendi- You will be a happy dyke! tion of My Favorite Things after which they all head When you read you begin with? (Lively crescendo to raucous finish) off to bed. Before she climbs under the covers, Maria VonTramps: slips downstairs to explore her new environs. Appalled Me, a queer, a female queer by the home’s shabby furniture and un-sensuous décor, ABC! but too exhausted to deal, she hits the sack. Hard. In Me, a hardcore lesbi-unn Maria: the morning, Maria awakens to a transformed House- Me, the one who loves myself hold Von Tramp. With sex you begin with: Me! Me! Me! Me, who wants to have some fun I had been having such thrilling dreams, I ended up VonTramps: sleeping quite a bit later than I’d planned. I showered, Me, who knows what's in my head dressed and set out to look for my new charges. The Me, me, me? Me, who understands my needs Von Tramps were nowhere to be found. I made my Maria: way downstairs where I discovered they’d been very Me, who likes a friend in bed - Friend in Bed! busy on the domestic front. Me, me, me. That will bring us back to ME! Maria: The first three steps just happen to be Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! ME! Oh, my. Just look at this place. It’s been totally trans- Me! Me! Me! formed. The bare wood floor is now covered with a ME! ME! lovely patchwork of bath mats and throw rugs. And VonTramps: look, they’ve put beautiful lace table cloths over the Me, me, me. window for curtains. And look what they’ve done with *** the old India-print bedspreads! They’ve made huge, Maria: voluptuous fluffy pillows. And that old ratty sofa is And so our lessons began Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! . . . gone. Those amazing women have really gone all out [Tune in next time as the Von Tramps explore forbid- to set the mood. Come, I'll make it easier for you den fruits and titillating taboos.] At that moment the Von Tramp women came strut- Me, a queer, a female queer ting into the living room. Were they ever decked out! They’d pulled together outfits of luscious satins and Me, a hardcore lesbi-unn velvets and soft, faded denim. Me, the one who loves myself

Lesbian News Magazine | April 2014 | www.LesbianNews.com HOT SPOTS

| By Dian Katz, MS

pril is here. Spring has sprung. from so many of you looking for something a Pool Party, Vegas White Party and Gurlesque Hotspots are multiplying and so are tad calmer and very sophisticated. Lucy and Closing Party. They said Gurlesque hahah.. Too rabbits. HA! Just seeing if any of you Gail’s event is just that! You will absolutely funny... For more info on this great event, type: were listening. You know, rabbits love, love, love this party. Its host hotels are dinahshoreweekend.com. Amultiplying could have a double meaning. Alcazar Hotel, The Indian Canyon Resort, and Think about it, it’s spring so.... and all the Peeps The Spa Hotel, all gorgeous resorts in their The 25TH ANNUAL GLAAD MEDIA this month!!! Hahahah.. okay, forget it. I just own ways.. Spectacular views and of course, AWARDS happen this month on April 12th love those squishy marshmallows thingys that beautiful gals to look at as well.. The in Los Angeles! LA will come alive with all taste like they have been dipped in sand. YUM! Jazz Festival starts off with a Singles Mingle sorts of A-List Celebs and lgbt supporters in Never mind. You all don’t seem to care about the which is perfect for all of you fabulous women the film and TV industry. Each year, the Glaad little treats I eat. Annnnnnnnnyway, moving on. looking for your certain someone. The rest of Awards attracts thousands of attendees at both the weekend will have exciting breakfast and shows - one on the west coast, the other on the It is going to be a fabulous month. The Dinah pool parties along with amaaaaaazing artists east coast. This year’s west coast event will be Shore parties have started!!!! Calling all women who will just put you in awe of their talents and held at the Beverly Hilton Hotel. If you are into to the Palm Springs, California desert on exciting After Concert Parties which are just entertainment, I think you must attend one of April 2-6 for CLUB SKIRTS THE DINAH! splendid for dancing, conversing and having these award shows. You’ll absolutely love it!! For Seriously, if you are into huge parties and social the best time of your life. For more info on more info, head over to their website and type: gatherings with gorgeous women from around Lucy and Gail’s picture perfect weekend, type: glaad.org/mediaawards/losangeles. the world, you don’t want to miss this party. lucyandgail.com. Its host hotels are Hotel Saguaro Palm Springs, Here in California, I’d like to mention a Courtyard Marriott and The Marquis with all As far as a great resort for lgbt peeps in Palm wonderful non-profit organization that a friend three pool parties at The Hilton. Every year, Springs, check into the VILLA MYKONOS. It of mine told me about. It seemed worthy of a Club Skirts outdoes itself with a bigger, badder, will be your weekend get away and I’m telling shout out. It’s called RAISE YOUR WINGS, wilder, outrageous girl party event that will you, you’ll enjoy it. The villas are romantic, INC. It’s an organization that heals through make your head spin.. in a good way of course. with dual master bedrooms, full kitchens, living horses. Yes, you heard me correctly! Equine And the ladies seem to love this event because room, dining room and more! And your little therapy was started years ago by an individual they flock to it. The Dinah always starts out with mz. kitty or doggy is welcome as well! For named Treena Hall in order to provide a an Official Pre-Party opener to wet your appetite more info on this fabulous vacation spot, call: therapeutic healing with horses to those who for the next several days. Then of course when 760-321-2898. suffer from eating disorders. Those with eating the fun begins, it moves into the next big disorders will be aided by their own licensed night - the Dinah Comedy Night. This year’s Toward the end of April, there is still ANOTHER therapist and participate in this very unique entertainers include Chelsea Lately’s Fortune Dinah Weekend Party... and it too, is in the healing experience. Having a background in Feimster, Last Comic Standing’s Erin Foley, and desert. Only it’s not in California Dorothy.. Marriage/Family/Child Counseling myself, I Gina Yashere and hosted by the wickedly funny .No, it’s not Kansas lol. We are talking DINAH find this a fascinating way to heal. I know that Suzanne Westenhoefer. The following nights VEGAS baby!!!!! Yup, GIRLBAR will be animals can be amazing in giving and receiving move into Opening Night, Dinah Film Festival, hosting its Dinah Shore parties on April 24- love. To the sufferer of an particular disorder, The Dinah White Party and Battle of the DJ’s 27 in Las Vegas, Nevada! Ca-ching!!! If you the experience can completely encourage and with some amazing celebrities. Of course, one are truly looking for another off the hook wild help in the healing process. Raise Your Wings can never forget the awesome pool parties party, this is going to be your choice. is always looking for volunteers who would The Dinah has. They are off-the-chart fun. like to get involved. Many of the horses are Saturday’s Pool Party will have members from Its host hotels are the one and only Flamingo loaned by some wonderful people and many the L Word and the band Hunter Valentine. So and Planet Hollywood! That’s right. Why not of those connected with Raise Your Wings, are there ya have it. Jump on the party bandwagon throw in a little Hollyweird right? You bet! A volunteers. For more information, please go to: and type: thedinah.com. lot of Girlbar’s crowd resides in WeHo... For raiseyourwings.org. those who aren’t locals, that stands for West Also happening during Dinah Shore weekend Hollywood. Dinah Vegas will be complete Sooooo, we are off and running during the in the desert is LUCY AND GAIL’S PALM with extraordinary pool parties, sexy ladies spring months. Happy April. And see, I didn’t SPRINGS WOMEN’S JAZZ FESTIVAL on and of course great entertainment. Included do an April Fool’s joke on ya this year! HA! April 3-6. Many of the younger crowds love are Cocktail Parties and the popular Funny the wild pool parties but I have been hearing Girlz night featuring Dana Goldber and Poppy [email protected] Champlin, the dance party Bling 3, Infinity

33 Lesbian News Magazine | April 2014 | www.LesbianNews.com The Weekender TRAVEL Here Fishy, Fishy, Fishy… Have an Appetite for Adventure? | By Barbara Horngren | By Barbara Horngren

reat white sharks are the world’s ype T personalities, that’s how people the ocean waves as they hit the beach and turned largest predatory fish, and they who crave novel experiences and to head back out to sea. We could see the setting come armed with a lethal mouthful excitement, people who like taking risks, sun…actually, we seemed to be one with the of serrated daggers…uh, teeth. are defined. I don’t consider myself to sunset. I found it so pleasant, and safe, that I’ve GAccording to African Travel, Inc., these seaborne Tbe in that group. After all, my spare time is spent now been ballooning in San Diego and Napa villains of folklore and cinema are as fascinating in a lounge chair, reading. in California as well as in Colorado, Florida, and majestic as they are terrifying. Sweden and Ireland. My travel time, however, certainly has included That’s why the tour operator offers its “Thrilling some adventuring. For instance, I’ve ridden a Others would point out its risks, though. Certainly Adventure in Southern Africa” quests, which put camel through the Australian outback to dinner. there are those who think it’s not peaceful, but the great whites “up-close-and-personal.” As I’ve hiked in a Costa Rican cloud forest. In New mad to be hanging in the heavens suspended the question in their publicity for the trip asks: Zealand, I accessed a high mountain flank by ski from an oversized nylon “envelope,” as the Are you brave enough to tempt them during a plane so I could have a good, long ski run. I’ve balloon itself is called, filled with over 100,000 cage dive into their territory? Adventurers from climbed Masada, in Israel, in the dark, to see the cubic feet of hot air. And, as if to back up the around the world venture to Cape Town, South sunrise from the summit. I’ve had close-up bird naysayers, early last year 19 people were killed in Africa, to test their courage during a dive into encounters in the Galapagos Islands. I’ve toured a ballooning accident in Egypt. In fact, mishaps San Diego via a sunset hot-air-balloon ride…. involving adventure travelers happen regularly. its shark-infested waters, a spokesperson for the It’s not unusual to read of whitewater rafting company says. “All day,” explained Steve, whose balloon I was catastrophes, parasailing misadventures, skiing in, “the wind comes from the west; then, in the Even though the dive may make you feel as if disasters, and recreational diving calamities. evening, generally it turns around. And, at sunset, you’re having a brush with death, you are “quite we have a buffer zone. The wind is strong enough Will that stop adrenaline junkies from seeking safe,” the spokesperson adds. You descend into to get the lateral movement we need (balloons use travel adventures? Hardly. Adventure travel is a the Atlantic realm of the sharks in a durable, the wind to go sideways, propane-heated air to more than $89 billion industry, and it has grown reinforced cage, and your “expert guides take climb). In fact, we often can go further and faster about 17 percent in each of the past two years. care of all the arrangements and ensure you are than at other times of day, but it’s very calm and That’s four times the rate of the overall tourism prepared and protected before taking the plunge.” peaceful at the same time.” trade. And the people who promote it point out You don’t even need to be certified. that driving – at home or on vacation – is by far I had seen a hot-air balloon tracing the coast on the most dangerous thing you’re ever likely to do. According to African Travel, their action- my drive down from Los Angeles and thought packed itinerary for “Thrilling Adventure in ballooning would add a bit of excitement to If you’re looking for the kinds of trips that will Southern Africa,” was “designed for adrenaline my trip. So, after a couple of days wandering get your adrenaline flowing, you could head to a seekers.” And, in addition to the stimulating through the museums in Balboa Park, the zoo, and site like www.adventure.travel, which bills itself shark dive, people who sign up for it will get to the restored Victorian buildings of the historic as “the travelers’ guide to finding adventure.” It explore “the most exciting areas of South Africa Gaslamp Quarter, I made arrangements to view lists a variety of possible options – around-the- and Zimbabwe while actively participating in the city from on high. world tours, ballooning, bicycling, canyoneering, the adventure of a lifetime. Table Mountain caving, expedition cruising, hiking and trekking, becomes less of a beautiful landmark and more “Hang on; we’re going up to see the panorama,” safaris, rafting, survival training, women-only of a challenge, as they hike to the imperial face said Steve as I climbed into the basket that holds treks and dozens more. and rappel down the steep slope.” The trip’s passengers. At 3,000 feet “panorama” certainly adventurers also will get to view Victoria Falls, described the view. We saw the whole of San Pick an operator with a proven track record for the world’s largest curtain of falling water, and Diego – La Jolla Cove and some 70 miles of the kind of trip you want to take and, remember, canoe down the Zambezi River. They will feel beaches, mountains, neighborhoods, parks, golf an estimated 86,200 people died in motor vehicle a refreshing mist on their faces as they harness courses, tennis courts…. Laid out below us were accidents in the U.S.in 2012. In the past 10 into a giant swing and zip-line through the forest fun-in-the-sun attractions of all kinds. years, according to the National Transportation canopy 300 feet above the river, too. And, Board, in the U.S. only 15 have died in hot-air they conclude their trip with a three-day safari And, that’s the crux of vacations, isn’t it: fun and ballooning accidents. at Hwange National Park, Zimbabwe’s largest a little excitement? Even though that balloon ride game reserve, traversing well-worn elephant was adventuresome for me, I’d sort of echo Steve Type T personality I’m not; willing to take a paths to glimpse animal predators. and say it was an appealing mix of exciting and small risk or two? Count me in. serene. After all, we were sailing through the sky [email protected] Sound like balm for your exploit-seeking soul? with nothing around us but a wicker basket and, For more information on “Thrilling Adventure as we bobbed in the breeze, the balloon had a in Southern Africa,” visit africantravelinc.com. soothing, rocking-chair motion. We could watch dogs chase our shadow through their backyards and hear them bark. We could see the foam on

35 Positive Reflections Where Were You When I Needed You? | By Dian Katz, MS

veryday,L.A. most GAY of us get& up,LESBIAN get into our someone to sit with and talk to while waiting. posted all of this I thought, “oh no! You cars, drive to work and come home The surgery finally was over and then my don’t want to be one of those whiners Dian only toBEACH do it all again CENTER’S the next day. mother went into recovery for another few who sounds dramatic for even posting this. We live our lives and hopefully, enjoy hours. Again, I sat there all alone just praying Delete it!” But I didn’t delete it. I expected Ethem along the BEACHway. However, CLASSIC there are rough that she would wake up and all would be to hear some uncomfortable things but what spots. There are challenges. There are crises. well. She did wake up and the surgery was a happened next was not what I expected. Like These are the times we need a little support success. after like occurred within minutes. People the most. These are the times a little validation were posting like mad to my share. They and love would go a long way. What happens The next few weeks after surgery were were all saying they have felt the exact way when friends, family and loved ones aren’t difficult ones as mom was in a lot of pain and can relate. Within a few hours I had there to give that to us? When this happens, and there was not much I could do. I tried about 80 likes and a ton of comments. My it feels like the whole world is absent and to be there and do the best I could. I didn’t private message box filled up with dozens of we are left taking care of our problems all by mind being there for my mother. Again, I friends coming out of the woodwork to give ourselves and feeling all alone. volunteered because I love and care about her. me their phone numbers and telling me to It’s in my nature to be there to the best of my never hesitate in calling them. I had an experience a while back that ability for those I love. There seemed to be exemplifies this point. However, how it no one around to help out. Between going to I was blown away with the love, validation turned out was quite a surprise. There was a work and my responsibilities, along with my and support I got from reaching out. Some time when my mother was in need of several own personal emotions, it was tough. were so adamant that I contact them that serious surgeries all in a very short amount they texted and called me. My cell phone of time. I wanted to be there for her and I felt overwhelmed with disappointment. was slammed with a ton of voicemails too. stepped up to the plate to do so. What I wasn’t Something was triggered in me. That feeling So I realized a couple of things from this expecting, is that I would be doing this all by of being all alone plagued me. It started experience. I learned a lesson from all of this. myself. feeling like there was no one to turn to outside of mom, to really talk with about all of this. Not everyone can be there for us when we I certainly have other family members but one Where was everybody? Why did it feel like need them. There are going to be people who lives far away and the other was busy. The I was loyal to so many and when I needed cannot or will not give to us what we give grand kids, all grown adults, were nowhere them, they were gone? Was this really the to them. That’s not what’s important. What’s to be found. A few individuals who are truth or was I just imagining it? The more I important is that we stay true to ourselves exceptionally close to me, tried to be there obsessed over these thoughts, the more alone and continue to be loyal and loving even as much as they could but they had their own I felt. I certainly didn’t want to overwhelm when it’s not returned. What we give out jobs and families to attend to. I told another and depress my mom with my own emotions shouldn’t have a price tag. If we want to be close to the family before the hospital surgery, when she was going through so much. Mother a loyal friend, then we must be one whether I wouldn’t be needing her there and then always encouraged me to talk to her but it the other person is or not. We don’t have to suddenly realized, it would have been much wasn’t about her. It was about me and I didn’t keep those in our lives who don’t reciprocate better had I made arrangements with her. One want her to take on any more than what she but we don’t have to change who we are person said she would be at the hospital but was going through. because of their actions. The second thing I had a financial crisis at the last moment. My learned is, we should always reach out. We father wasn’t much help. He’s a good dad I always enjoyed talking about serious topics never know who will answer our call. For but we don’t talk much about these kinds of on Facebook and posting fun little sayings and that one month of feeling I was all alone things and at his age, it’s difficult for him such. Rarely, did I post anything too personal. and no one really cared, turned into creating to do too much these days. So his presence This time was different. I took a chance and some amazing new friendships that may, just wasn’t going to help. vented. I expressed my disappointment in last a lifetime... others for not being there when I needed them. So I went to the hospital with my mom alone. I explained how alone I felt sitting in that [email protected] I sat there for hours upon hours while the hospital waiting for my mother to come out of surgery took place, biting my nails and having surgery. I went on to say how loyal I am to my all kinds of scary thoughts. My thoughts could friendships and felt gypped about not getting have been so easily diffused had I just had the same in return. After I pushed “send” and

Lesbian News Magazine | April 2014 | www.LesbianNews.com FEMASTROLOGY | By Victoria Bearden April 2014 Planetary Update

he month starts off with a bang, as the Aries (March 21-April 19) If you were Libra (September 23-October 22) You are Sun in Aries lines up with unpredictable expecting this to be a boring birthday, think in an exciting phase, but it’s volatile, so Uranus on April 2. This is rather again! Super-charged energy is flowing all watch your back. Changes in key relationships explosive energy, so we might see some around you. What will you do with it? Embrace are in the works. You really need to know friend Tearthquake action or aggressive activities in the change, shed your old skin, and take a deep, from foe, both personally and in business. Keep news. So, for the first week of this month, the deep breath. Movement and change is the order a cool head, you’ll need it, as decisions will be element of “chance” is very high. Keep that in mind if you are trying to accomplish something of the day. Stagnant patterns are shriveling demanded of you. Find ways to blow off some that requires patience and stability, as those up. Let them! Pay attention to your important steam if necessary…rather than blowing up at things may be harder to come by! relationships. If they are in flux, there’s a reason. people.

There’s a Total Lunar Eclipse on April 15 at 25 Taurus (April 20-May 20) This changeful Scorpio (October 23-November 21) This degrees Libra. Eclipses tend to stir up fateful month may hold hidden benefits for you. could end up being an oddly peaceful events, so keep your eyes peeled. Things Sitting on the sidelines may seem boring, but period for you, even if those around you are happening now could have far-reaching effects in offers a good vantage point to plan future feeling a little nuts. Walk, breathe, relax. Take your life. Want to skew that in a good direction? strategies. Follow your intuition and gather your care of health issues that may have surfaced. If Be conscious, aware, and responsible about your strength and resources now. This will come in you need a break, a tune up, or just a spa day, own decisions and reactions. If your birthday that falls near April 15, this will be a year of handy next month, when there will be more take it! milestones and change for you. There’s a Solar opportunity for action and growth. Eclipse on April 29, 2014 at 8 degrees Taurus, so, Sagittarius (November 22-December 21) once again, if your birthday falls near this date, Gemini (May 21-June 20) Things may be So it’s a weird month, somebody’s gotta get ready for a wild and eventful year! a bit wild, but you are in a unique position have some fun, right? Well, that could be you! to take advantage of the chaos! Follow your Creative energy is flowing through you. Use if The big news is the Grand Cardinal Cross, which hunches; connect with others of like mind, and for something. Relationships are highlighted. hits its peak around April 22/23, 2014. Mars, take some calculated risks. You may end up Single centaurs could end up hooking up. Jupiter, Uranus, and Pluto will be squaring off, leading the pack in business. And your personal pushing and pulling at the fabric of our collective life may be starting to improve considerably as Capricorn (December 22-January 19) reality. When planetary tension of this magnitude occurs, situations can reach “critical mass.” In well. Your chart is primed for action and activity. a nutshell, sometimes, something’s gotta give, There may be a bit of controversy with home and during these planetary stress cycles, big Cancer (June 21-July 21) Things may not and family issues, but don’t let it sidetrack problems that need resolution tend to surface. seem rock solid in your life right now, but you. There is potential to make headway with Use this to your advantage by taking time in luck is on your side. Even with a few disruptions, your plans. Hey, there’s even some romance this month to do some conscious self-evaluation you are still in a good position to accomplish opportunity for single Caps…so don’t forget to and soul searching. Need to overhaul something goals, make friends, and influence people. So be social! major in your life right now? Do it voluntarily. make sure you put energy into your outer world April is not a good month to hide your head in activities! Aquarius (January 20-February 18) This the sand, even though you might feel like it. could actually turn in to a productive and Leo (July 23-August 22) This month could even exciting month for you. Follow through on Astro-Opportunity Dates: get a little stressful, but if you keep your plans, express your ideas, and get out and meet April 11, 18, 24 and 25. focus, you should get a lot done. Put energy into people. Airy and fiery energies could kick start long rang plans. Maybe a little conservative risk some new directions this month, but only if you Femastrology Horoscopes for April 2013 taking at month’s end? The Universe may be are willing to try some new things. For all the Sun Signs: With the Lunar and Solar asking you to walk your talk, and follow your Eclipses and that Grand Cardinal Cross, my own advice. Sounds like a good idea! Pisces (February 19-March 20) A bird in advice is, hold to a steady course. No need to the hand is worth 2 in the bush…take a look hide in your closet until May. But you may wish Virgo (August 23-September 22) Try not at what is being offered, and who is offering to rethink recreational travel or any surgeries to stress about money. Keep things simple. it. There could be some solid developments or medical procedures you have a choice about. Less is more. Let projects that aren’t producing regarding work and finances. But err on the side April isn’t going to be a “calm” month, so keep fall by the wayside in favor of that which seems of reality, not wishful thinking, when making a level head when making important decisions. the most promising. Tie off loose ends and weed choices. Love is in the air, but the same advice out unsatisfying relationships, both personal applies. [email protected] and business. You’ll be glad you did.

37 Words That make sense DINAH A Priceless Gift WEEKEND | By Toni Hart April 3-6, 2014 ife had been very difficult for me recently. needed to do. wishes that made every day special and the many I had undergone two major surgeries, challenges that I was going through at the time, endured the hospital and rehab as well as In the beginning, even the simple things like taking worth every effort put forth. TICKETS ON the constant physical and mental challenges. a shower, putting on my underwear, slacks, shirt SALE NOW L and shoes was quite challenging. Combing my hair, In addition, the 180+ children who have listened to The first operation, was to mend the broken brushing my teeth and other things which were me read to them twice a week had sent unbelievably vertebrae in my back which resulted from two easy and routine took a lot longer to complete. By heart warming cards and letters to wish me well, falls. The pain was excruciating and something my sighs, when I got into bed, one could deduce speed my recovery and tell me how much I am had to be done. The second operation which came just how difficult this was for me to accomplish. loved and missed. Each one of these letters was a week later, was to replace a 10 year old total When the pain pills wore off...I would reach for so special that I sometimes tear up a bit as I re- knee replacement that was done incorrectly and another if it had been at least 4 to 6 hours since my read every line and smile at the lovely pictures they had caused me years of pain and suffering and had last one. Unfortunately, they didn’t work instantly. drew to illustrate their emotions. I never realized slowed my once brisk walking down to a shuffle. In the time lapse, you might hear an under-breath that I have touched so many hearts and affected “ow..ow..ow” until the meds took effect. Then I so may lives until I read these beautiful letters I have been out of the hospital and the rehab clinic took several deep breaths and let the pills do their expressing their thoughts and get well wishes. for some time now. It took many months after that, job and the pain slowly faded away - sometimes.. trying to exercise and get back my strength and too slowly. The most special joy of course was from my mobility with the aid of professionals helping me daughter who was there for me all the way and my several times a week. Except for the pain, which One of the most wonderful things that had been husband who made a special effort to be there to was extreme at times, I feel I did a great job by not a life saver.....had been the incredible cards and help me. giving up and working hard to get my back and leg letters, prayers and good wishes from my friends, joints to do what they were supposed to do. Thank relatives and comrades at my volunteer pursuits, [email protected] goodness for those pain pills - without them I don’t book club, and Red Hat Chapter. They had know how I would have gotten through all that I penned the most beautiful thoughts and uplifting ALCOHOLISM, THE THINKING DISEASE | By By G-O Digilio PALM SPRINGS he term “codependent” originally Healthy is limit setting. Healthy is establishing The limits and boundaries are established because meant a person involved with someone boundaries that protect a person from the ravages the alcoholic has crossed the line too many times. “dependent” on alcohol or drugs. The of the addictive person. Healthy is telling the It is time to say no. relationship did not have to be marriage alcoholic/addict that there is a limit to what you Tor even a romantic involvement. The family and will tolerate and allow in your life. It is advisable Codependency means loving and caring in a way WOMEN’S friends of an addictive person were all defined as to get help, as the repercussions can be serious as that is harmful to everyone. An addictive person, codependents. The alcoholic/addict lived a life of well as joyous. This is a scary step as often times even one in recovery, frequently takes advantage ever increasing trouble and trauma. the alcoholic may choose to leave rather them of a person with a good heart. Just because they Pamela Williams limit his hurtful behavior. have stopped drinking or using does not mean JAZZ FESTIVAL Today codependency is described as they have stopped being abusive. They see that “dysfunctional” meaning abnormal. I prefer to There are many professionals and programs the codependents are tender and sensitive and 4 Days of Music ~ 10 Concerts ~ Over 40 Top Celebrated Female Musicians say that it is unhealthy. An interesting side note available for codependents. Alanon is a 12-step will use that for their own addictive gain. The is that an alcoholic can also be codependent. In program for the family and friends of alcoholics. alcoholic will stretch the generosity of those The Jazz Supper Club ~ Jazz on the Latin Side ~ Legendary Blues Queens the treatment world the focus is on the concepts Limit setting with alcoholism is similar to the around them to the breaking point and then move After Parties ~ Tribute to Legendary Divas ~ Grammy Nominees ~ Jazz Cinema of healthy and unhealthy. One of my mottoes is protection taken with contagious diseases. onto the next unwary victim. They are like human Jazz Under the Stars ~ Internationally Acclaimed Artists ~ Emerging Artists “Logical is healthy and healthy is happy”. It is leeches sucking others dry. The alcoholic will not logical to track down an alcoholic to try to The following are some examples of ways to often blatantly laugh at the codependent because Beautiful, masterful acoustic jazz performed by a collaborative effort of women! get him to leave the bar or to expect him to stop protect your self and to limit the damage from they don’t have the courage to stop the abuse. drinking because you say so. It is not logical to loved ones that are addictive. It may not be wise Limits must be made. The line in the sand must be pour booze down the drain or chuck the drugs in to loan your car to a person that is known to drive drawn. Loving and caring in a healthy way makes Cindy Bradley, Pamela Williams, CC Carter, Jazz in Pink, mimi Fox, BarBara morrison the toilet. Many things the codependent does to try while under the influence. You may not want a everyone happier in the long run. It is a tough road roxanna Ward, karen Williams, hosted By sWeet BaBy J’ai to stop the disease are not logical. It may work at spending addict to have access to your charge to take but far more delightful than being abused. times but those kinds of remedies usually last only accounts. It may be important for you to set firm There is hope. There is a better way. a short time. Often times the alcoholic uses this money limits with a gambling addict. I have only www.lucyandgail.com kind of behavior as an excuse to drink more. listed a few but there are many more boundaries [email protected] that can be taken.

Lesbian News Magazine | April 2014 | www.LesbianNews.com DINAH WEEKEND April 3-6, 2014 TICKETS ON SALE NOW

PALM SPRINGS WOMEN’S JAZZ FESTIVAL Pamela Williams 4 Days of Music ~ 10 Concerts ~ Over 40 Top Celebrated Female Musicians The Jazz Supper Club ~ Jazz on the Latin Side ~ Legendary Blues Queens After Parties ~ Tribute to Legendary Divas ~ Grammy Nominees ~ Jazz Cinema Jazz Under the Stars ~ Internationally Acclaimed Artists ~ Emerging Artists Beautiful, masterful acoustic jazz performed by a collaborative effort of women!

Cindy Bradley, Pamela Williams, CC Carter, Jazz in Pink, mimi Fox, BarBara morrison roxanna Ward, karen Williams, hosted By sWeet BaBy J’ai www.lucyandgail.com

39 Lesbian News Magazine | April 2014 | www.LesbianNews.com