A Folklore Race of Aquatic Troublemakers

Kappa

by Michael (Gaijin Goombah) Sundman

Sample file What Are Kappa? he earliest written depiction of Kappa (河童) And while the fact alone might be terrifying in it's own comes from the Wakan Sansai Zue (和漢三才 right, every kappa cousin has a set of shared super-human 図会) in 1712 by Osakan doctor Terajima feats. Kappa, despite being the size of a human pre-teen, are Ryōan (寺島良安). several times stronger than humans. Easily besting them in “About the size of a ten-year-old child, the physical competitions like their beloved sumo. They also have kawatarou stands and walks naked and speaks expedient natural healing and advanced knowledge of Tin a human voice. Its hair is short and sparse. medicine. A kappa could have its arm severed for days and The top of its head is concave and can hold a scoop of water. still be physically capable and knowledgeable about how to Kawatarou usually live in the water, but in the light of the late reattach the limb as it knits instantly. Finally, kappa are some afternoon, many emerge into the area near the river and steal of the most foul common yokai one could come across. melons, eggplants, and things from the fields. By nature the Renown for having three times human capacity for flatulence kawatarou likes sumo; when it sees a person, it will invite as well as being blatant harassers of women. him {to wrestle} … If there is water on its head, the kawatarou Thankfully as time has moved on, kappa in Japan's society has several times the strength of a warrior… The kawatarou have become much more homogeneous in their appearance has a tendency to pull cattle and horses into the water and and attitude. Still a collection of scaly upright-walking turtle suck blood out of their rumps. People crossing rivers must be people with dishes on their head. Ready to pull unsuspecting very careful.” people and animals to a drowning death to get at their butts. "But wait!" I'm sure you're saying, "They said 'kawataro' But it seems that kappa have also become poster children for not 'kappa'." OH! Right, I didn't mention. See, Toriama nature preservation, warning children about dangerous Sekien (⿃⼭⽯燕), one of the first authors to use the term bodies of water, and even becoming icons of sake brands, "kappa", essentially subsumed the name and image of the credit cards, anime & manga, kaiju movies, and... Softcore western kawataro under the name and image of the eastern pornographic musicals? Seems the kappa has just as many Kappa. Confused? occupations as it does regional iterations. It's fine! See, from the east side of Kanto to Tohoku, kappa But honestly, that's what makes kappa such interesting were believed to be slimy green turtle people with water playable characters in an Eastern-fantasy Dungeons & dishes on their head. While in western Japan, from Kansai to Dragons setting! Much like elves who have seemingly endless Shikoku, they were like hairy monkeys with water dishes on iterations between the realms, kappa have seemingly endless their head. ...Or wait... Are they called kappa in the northern derivatives based on their location or region. Which allows party of Kansai or were those "komahiki". Slimy, turtle- for incredibly dynamic playstyles. The only question is... what shelled creatures that got their name from their obsession kind of kappa will YOU play? with pulling in and drowning horses... Wait no! Kappa are descended from serpentine water monsters called mizuchi who ambushed travelers and poisoned water! Who were outwitted by an angry warrior who challenged them to sink a bunch of calabashes. Which they were unable to do so... for... some reason... So the warrior slew them! Still confused? Yeah so is the majority of Japan believe that or not. While in my previously published Tanuki book I said that the tanuki was the most recognizable yokai in Japan, the emphasis was in the word "recognizable". When it comes to yokai per square foot of the country, NONE are more populous than the kappa and its one hundred derivatives. That's right. ONE HUNDRED! Whether they be named based on their height such as the Kawako (川⼦), their western monkey-like appearance such as the Enko (猿猴), their eastern turtle-like appearance such as the Dangame, their behavior such as the Komahiki (駒引), no matter where you go in Japan it seems, there is some new derivative of small yet inhumanly strong water sprite who's ready to rip out your butt! No really. While some kappa will just happily rip out and eat your entrails through your behind, plenty more still go after your shirikodama (尻⼦⽟). A sphere-like organ hidden just behind your anus that stores the power of your soul. To have iSamplet removed makes you lethargic at best, and dead at file worse.