KIDS NOT at RISK HEARD in the BAGEL STORE Mosholu Rebbe in 5Ts Light and Darkness This Shabbos

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See Page 80 $1.00 WWW.5TJT.COM VOL. 10 NO. 5 12 CHESHVAN 5770 lk lk ,arp OCTOBER 30, 2009

INSIDE FROM THE EDITOR’S DESK THE NEW AND IMPROVED KOTEL

Soupy Sales BY LARRY GORDON Danny O’Doul 22 Guilty As Charged KOPEL VS. TOBACK Hannah Reich Berman 32 Those of you outside the Five The Daily Jews Towns area might feel a little Rabbi Avi Shafran 36 lost as we analyze and explore MindBiz what promises to be a hard- Esther Mann, LMSW 37 fought race between the incumbent Nassau County Legislator Positive Parenting for the 7th District, Jeff Toback Jeff Toback and Howard Kopel C o u r t

of the Democratic Party, and e

Rochelle Miller 64 s y o f I

the Republican challenger, one resides is how we are bom- s r a e l i A

Howard (Chaim) Kopel. What is barded through the mail with n t i q u i t i relevant to all our readers is the colorful oversized cards featur- e s A u t h

electoral dynamics of the ing sensational accusations that o r i t Jewish community that is on each candidate levels at the y An artist’s rendition of the Kotel Plaza archaeological park being display in this race. other. Mired beneath some- developed with excavations taking place at the Western Wall in What also may be easy to Jerusalem. A new area, at the level used in ancient times, is to be added relate to regardless of where Continued on Page 8 under the existing plaza. See Page 26 KIDS NOT AT RISK HEARD IN THE BAGEL STORE Mosholu Rebbe in 5Ts Light And Darkness this Shabbos. Surprising Reasons Why factors noticed—not by a single See Page 49 Some Reject Yiddishkeit relative, educator, or friend? BY LARRY GORDON tion of Chanukah. BY DR. YAKOV What does this say about our Chanukah, as you know, LOWINGER understanding of what drives Many of us are still basking in marks the triumph of the few kids “off the derech”? the glow of the intense month over the many, the underdog He managed to stay under of holidays that recently con- over the favorite. It celebrates the radar, despite having Two Questions cluded. We go to shul on the destiny of the Jewish people become nonobservant when he Every time a young person Shabbos without a machzor, kit- throughout the ages as well as began elementary school. He from our community begins to tel, or lulav and esrog, and it our imminent future. If you’ve progressively cast off religious show obvious signs of a decline feels like we’ve forgotten some- been following these columns obligations until he hit the radar in his Yiddishkeit, the experi- thing. Now, as we float through over the last decade, then you in a big way at 17, when he was ence is accompanied by under- the celebrationless month of may be somewhat acquainted sent to the first of a series of standable sadness and pain. But Cheshvan, we naturally have no with what Chanukah has come alternative yeshivos for drug and it is often accompanied by choice but to instinctively set to mean to me over the last 20 alcohol users. Why did it come our sights on the upcoming to this? Why weren’t the risk Continued on Page 19 month of Kislev and the celebra- Continued on Page 15 Who knows Y-Love? See Page 24 Only For The Children LIVING MOMMY LETTERS TIME The Legacy Of Rav Henoch Another Mother’s Musings Leibowitz, zt’l BY PHYLLIS J. BY RAV ARYEH Z. LUBIN GINZBERG CHOFETZ CHAIM TORAH CENTER As mothers, it’s sometimes difficult for us to devote time Our Chazal tell us that when for ourselves. Aside from night a person passes away, it’s com- traffic-court appearances, it is parable to a sefer Torah that is difficult for me to get away. I In support of burnt. On a simple level, this must admit, though, that I am a Yeshiva Bais Hillel. means that just as a person’s little spoiled. I happen to have a See Page 56 neshamah lives on even after it few in-house babysitters (two in departs from the physical body, high school and one in college) CANDLE LIGHTING so too when a holy sefer Torah is that are available on occasion. Oct. 30 – 5:35 PM burnt, only the physical parch- Still, I have to keep track of their Nov. 6 – 4:27 PM At the Ohel Child Safety Fair that took place this Sunday. See Page 54 Continued on Page 17 Continued on Page 14 2 October 30, 2009 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES October 30, 2009 3 4 October 30, 2009 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES October 30, 2009 5 6 October 30, 2009 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES October 30, 2009 7 FROM THE EDITOR Continued from Front Cover

times only partly true or subject-to-spin suggestions is a reality that the average voter just does not have the acumen or time to discern. And one gets the feeling that this is what the candidates have their hopes pinned on—that you won’t have time for more than a cursory glance at the material and will draw conclusions based on these political darts that are thrown at us, and at one another, every chance they get—at, by the way, not insignificant expense. The substance of the race is that the candidates are vying for a seat on the Nassau County Legislature, which meets in Mineola, New York. The Legislature is composed of 19 members, and for the last few years it has had a 10–9 Democratic majority. Mr. Toback is a ten-year incumbent who has served the needs of the community well. Many of those in leadership positions say they’ve always been able to depend on Toback and that he is always available and responsive when there is an issue that impacts the community in some specific way. He is accessible and person- able. Though the political demographics of the Five Towns would seem to lean in the Republican direction, that is not necessarily the case when it comes to local politics. Howard Kopel, 58, is a product of what has evolved into an influential Orthodox Jewish community that has firmly established itself as a political force in the Five Towns over the last decade. Kopel is an attorney in the real-estate investment business. He’s a conservative thinker and sub- scribes to the idea that contin- ual tax increases are a financial imposition on citizens and counterproductive in righting a shaky economy. It is true that until Nassau County Executive Tom Suozzi was swept into office eight years ago and the Democrats took control of the Legislature, Nassau County had been run by Republican leadership for decades and was left on the verge of insolvency. The new Democratic leadership had no choice but to raise real-estate taxes almost 40 percent in order to balance the county budget. As Toback rightly points out, since those draconian increases, the Democratic leadership has held firm over the last several years and has raised our taxes by only 3.9 percent. Mr. Kopel says—in his campaign literature as well as in an interview last week—that this is “smoke and

Continued on Page 12 8 October 30, 2009 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES October 30, 2009 9 FEATURES

Around The Five Towns 44 P.O. BOX 690 LAWRENCE, NY 11559 516-984-0079 [email protected] Classified Ads 70 [email protected] LARRY GORDON ESTA J. GORDON The Dish Publisher/Editor Managing Editor Elke Probkevitz 30 YOSSI GORDON, YOCHANAN GORDON Sales Managers CHANA ROCHEL ROSS Five Towns Simcha Editorial Assistant Jason Finegold 75 SIDI BARON YAKOV SERLE Halachic Musings Sales Representatives Rabbi Yair Hoffman 59 SHMUEL GERBER MICHELE JUSTIC Chief Copy Editor Copy Editor CONTRIBUTING EDITORS Insights On The Torah Hannah Reich Berman, Anessa V. Cohen, R’ Yanki Tauber 39 Rabbi Aryeh Z. Ginzberg, Toby Klein Greenwald, Rabbi Yair Hoffman, Miriam Horowitz, R’ Ben Tzion Shafier 66 Rabbi Mordechai Kamenetzky, Shmuel Katz, Phyllis J. Lubin, Esther Mann, Rochelle Miller, The Legendary . . . Martin Mushell, Elke Probkevitz, Naomi Ross, Rachael Schindler, Rabbi Avrohom Sebrow, . . . Danny O’Doul 22 Rabbi Avi Shafran, Eli Shapiro, Ari Sher DOV GORDON, ELISHEVA ELEFANT Letters To The Editor 62 Staff Graphic Artists IVAN NORMAN, IRA THOMAS Luach 13 Staff Photographers FRANKEL & CO. Design & Production MindBiz TALIYE CORLEY Esther Mann, LMSW 37 Art Director SARAH GREENBAUM Real Estate Assistant Art Director Anessa V. Cohen 38 The Five Towns Jewish Times is an independent weekly newspaper. Opinions expressed by writers and columnists are not necessarily those of the editor or publisher. We are not That’s The Way It Is! responsible for the kashrus or hashgachah of any product or establishment advertised in the Five Towns Jewish Times. Hannah Reich Berman 32

10 October 30, 2009 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES October 30, 2009 11 FROM THE EDITOR their assessments and very often receive decision to make at the polls next week support the change, though the Continued from Page 8 favorable rulings, reductions, and between electing Howard Kopel and Republican-dominated Town of rebates on their property taxes. Kopel reelecting Jeff Toback. Hempstead trustees have voiced opposi- mirrors” and that in reality the explains that while in most instances Those active in the local political tion to the plan. Residents of Bay Park are Democratic leadership has rarely missed almost 70 percent of our property taxes realm will tell you that as a community lobbying for a new sewage treatment an opportunity to raise the taxes of coun- are earmarked for education, it is not we are better off going with a proven plant better equipped to do its job, at a ty residents. the education system that rebates the commodity in Mr. Toback. He’s always cost of possibly tens of millions of dol- The Kopel and Republican Party lit- money. Instead, the county has to bor- been available and has acted in a more lars. That would mean the taxes that erature points out that Toback and the row the approximately $100 million than competent and professional man- stand to be reduced would probably Democrats have indeed raised taxes, each year and is now servicing that addi- ner on our behalf. Many will tell you that shoot right back up. with the implementation of a 2.5% tax tional debt. if there were no other reason, our com- Another issue is the Five Towns on some utility bills. Mr. Toback Howard Kopel feels that a great deal munity should vote for Mr. Toback as an Community Center in Inwood. It was explained that the new tax was neces- of the financial burdens of Nassau expression of gratitude for everything he thought to be up for sale and was covet- sary to compensate for an over $40 mil- County can be effectively dealt with by has done for the community during his ed by the JCC of the Five Towns for their lion shortfall in sales-tax revenue in cutting out a vast network of patronage tenure. Those same observers think high- future state-of-the-art facility. Currently, this economic downturn. jobs. Toback says that many of these ly of Mr. Kopel and his credentials, but are the center is operating well below maxi- To the Republicans, a tax hike is a tax jobs are saving the taxpayers millions concerned that he may be a political mum capacity and would certainly have hike, and there’s nothing else to discuss. of dollars by allowing services to be novice (though he is running for a second life breathed into it if the JCC would be Kopel explains that if elected he would performed by employees instead of time and would be considered a key play- allowed to purchase the property and immediately work to repeal the utility contractors or consultants at a much er if he can deliver this election and that revitalize the structure. The central loca- tax. But that would still leave him faced higher cost. legislative seat to the Republican Party tion of the facility would also have been with the financial consequences of the The Republicans in Nassau County— here in Nassau County). ideal. Some who are supporting Mr. sales tax falloff and the need to somehow who now speak out vociferously There’s no question that Kopel is a sea- Kopel’s candidacy feel that Mr. Toback did come up with the $40 million. Mr. Kopel against anything that smacks of patron- soned businessman who understands the not support the anticipated move effec- says the shortfall can be dealt with by cut- age—were notorious for decades system well and would act with diligence tively as it became shrouded in controver- ting spending instead of adding a new tax under County Executive Tom Gulotta and efficiency in serving the needs of the sy and ultimately fell through. to our handsome collection of taxes here for having defined new depths of district. The practical reality—not the In speaking with officials and commu- in Nassau County—the second-highest- patronage. In a sense, Nassau County is political reality—is that in terms of serv- nity leaders, I found over the last week taxed county in the country (Westchester a political anomaly. Historically, the ice and what we need, there will be no that most who supported one candidate is number one). Republicans were the big spenders, loss of service or attentiveness from our or the other did so because they had To Howard Kopel, it’s not about just until the Democrats were finally voted elected legislator, no matter which of the some kind of personal or professional one aspect of the county tax system. into power with the arrival of Mr. two is elected. interest in getting their man elected. Kopel insists that everything about our Suozzi and the introduction of some For those residing in Lawrence and The key point is that either man— tax procedures in Nassau County is some- economic responsibility. Cedarhurst, there is the matter of the Howard Kopel or Jeff Toback—would what backward at best and more likely That doesn’t mean the two parties sewer system and the millions of dollars serve the citizens of the district with effi- just plain skewered. He says that the sys- have not reverted to the traditional that will be saved annually by having ciency and sincerity. That reality makes tem the county uses to assess our proper- national roles of Democrats taxing and sewage processed elsewhere in the dis- moot the need to recommend that you ty values costs the county more than $100 spending and Republicans seeking to trict, specifically Bay Park near East vote for a particular candidate. Picking million every year. place a cap on taxes and cut excessive Rockaway. Taxes in both communities one over the other here in print would be He says our properties are excessively spending. But regardless of the two par- stand to be reduced with the rerouting of nothing more than a personal preference, assessed. Homeowners often challenge ties’ usual identities, we are left with a the local sewage. Both Kopel and Toback which has little to do with the substance

12 October 30, 2009 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES of the race at hand. So the choice on November 3—in this contest anyway—is to vote for a candidate who has already been doing a good job and who you may feel therefore deserves to remain in office, or the challenger who may bring some improve- ments to the table. Perhaps your vote is just an expression of gratitude for past performance—and there is nothing wrong with that. Or maybe you think we are best served by setting out in a new direction. It’s possible that you believe that the Democratic leadership needs to have its agenda balanced by a legislature that features a Republican majority. Any one of these choices is reasonable and politically sensible. In this race, we are in a situation where a victory for either Kopel or Toback is an outcome with which we can consider ourselves all winners. O

Comments for Larry Gordon are welcome at [email protected].

CALENDAR LUACH Oct. 30-Nov. 7 ZIP Code: 11516

12 Cheshvan Friday, October 30 Daf yomi: Bava Basra 70 Z’manim*: Earliest tallis/teﬁllin: 6:28 am Sunrise: 7:23 am Latest Shema: M. Av. 9:24 am Gr’a 10:00 am P’lag ha’minchah: 4:47 pm Candle Lighting: 5:35 pm 13 Cheshvan – Shabbos Saturday, October 31 Shabbos Parashas Lech-Lecha Shabbos ends**: 6:36 pm 72 min. 7:06 pm 19 Cheshvan Friday, November 6 Daf yomi: Bava Basra 77 Earliest tallis/teﬁllin: 5:36 am Sunrise: 6:32 am Latest Shema: M. Av. 8:28 am Gr’a 9:04 am P’lag ha’minchah: 3:41 pm Candle Lighting: 4:27 pm 20 Cheshvan – Shabbos Saturday, November 7 Shabbos Parashas Vayeira Shabbos ends**: 5:27 pm 72 min. 5:57 pm * from MyZmanim.com ** add a few minutes for tosefos Shabbos according to your minhag Municipal Calendar For 5 Towns and NYC November 1 Saturday night/Sunday: Daylight Saving Time ends (set clocks back 1 hour) November 3 Election Day: No public-school classes; no garbage collection; NYC alternate- side parking regulations suspended. 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES October 30, 2009 13 Mother’s Musings at 5:00 p.m. in Brookville. Fortunately, Simcha had never seen either one of them Jackie’s house by 4:20, I could just about Continued from Front Cover Wednesday is the one day of the week eat yogurt that slowly—both sadly antici- make this work. With a little traffic and that Yussie doesn’t have an after-school pating their parting. It took them almost one wrong turn, I arrived only about 20 schedules and make sure that my night activity, but I still needed to have a place half an hour to say their formal goodbyes! minutes late. With very good handouts activities don’t conflict with theirs. But if for him to stay. Parents with special- Lea was another story. Lea’s bus does- and some familiarity with the issue at I want to attend something that occurs needs children are surely aware that set- n’t drop her off until 4:10, and I needed to hand (identifying challenging behaviors), before the older kids or my husband is ting up a play date typically takes weeks be all the way out in Brookville by 5:00. I was able to figure out what was going available, that’s another matter. of planning. In addition, this is homework time. I on despite my tardiness. I went to an informative lecture this I didn’t have time for advance plan- needed to arrange a play date with a fam- Dr. Feeley’s insight into identifying past Wednesday night, the first of a two- ning, but somehow, with the help of a ily who would not only be willing to help why a child (or, for that matter, any per- part series: “Functional Behavior very kind young man I met through Bais Lea with her homework, but also be son) might demonstrate a certain behav- Assessment” this week, followed by Ezra who watches Yosef on occasion, I patient enough to wait until someone ior was eye-opening. All of a sudden I was “Positive Behavior Supports” next week. was able to make this work. Simcha had would be available to pick her up (this reevaluating the challenging behaviors I The lecture, funded by New York State’s already promised this time to Yussie’s col- lecture was due to go until 8:00 p.m., and had seen in my household and under- Long Island Developmental Disabilities league from school (an adorable eight- my elder son had the other car and would standing their intentions. This “function- Services Office and sponsored by the year-old boy named Chaim whom we not be home until after 10:00 p.m.). al behavior assessment” technique will be Down Syndrome Advocacy Foundation, have known since he was born). With a Thankfully, my friend Marci came to useful when confronting challenging was given by Dr. Kathleen Feeley, associ- little maneuvering, Simcha was able to the rescue. Not only was she patient behaviors that I have experienced with ate professor in the Department of pick Yussie up at my house, bring him to enough to do homework with both Lea Yussie, and for other people in my life as Special Education and literacy director visit his friend Chaim, and supervise the and her own daughter, Jackie, but her well (and I am also beginning to identify for the Center for Community Inclusion play date. I had to just hold my breath husband, Sol, offered to drive her home why I do certain things myself). at the C.W. Post Campus of Long Island and hope that both Yussie and Chaim by 6:00 (when my high-school daughters The audience was made up of teachers, University in Brookville, New York. would behave themselves. would be home). therapists, and parents. We were all there It is easy to say that I went to the lec- Simcha reported to me later that the So the child-care portion of this night seeking answers and guidance for solving ture after the fact, but organizing the play date worked out nicely. They were activity worked out smoothly. MapQuest some mysteries of why our children act logistics beforehand and getting to both happy to see each other outside of a informed me that if I followed its direc- in certain ways, and hopefully to find out Brookville was no easy task. Yussie gets school activity. They had a snack of yogurt tions, I would arrive at my destination the way to guide our children on a more home at 3:00 p.m., and this lecture began before it was time to say goodbye, and within 41 minutes. With Lea safely at positive path that will help them in all facets of their lives. One quick technique I picked up that night was giving choices, rather than offering only one option that I know has- n’t worked in the past. For instance, when Yussie gets off the bus, rather than tell him that it’s homework time and have him respond “No homework, Mommy,” and have him run to turn on the television, I could ask, “Would you like to have a snack and then homework, or homework and then a snack?” In this way I am avoiding the issue of immediately watching television, since that wasn’t one of the choices, and I am pretty sure he will choose snack first. Then I might have a chance of his doing some homework. After he has the snack, I can ask, “Would you like to do math first or reading first?” Then he has two choices again, which don’t include the television. Yussie’s goal may be to watch television, but if I put it off as much as possible, I might get some scholastic stimulation in before having him set in front of the square box in the back room. When trying to implement this technique the very next day, I noticed that I need to be strong. It’s much easier to let him have his way and disappear to the back room while I relax. But I need to be actively involved and not lazy if I want to accomplish anything. The time from when Yussie gets off the bus until Lea comes home an hour later is my window of opportunity for some one-on-one time with Yussie. Once Lea comes home, it’s her homework time. This past week’s lecture was more focused on assessing the challenging behaviors first; the next one will give us methods to instill positive behaviors to replace the challenging ones. I am hoping to organize Yussie’s and Lea’s after-school activities between now and then to enable me to attend. And so, when a “Mommy Time” activity comes your way, don’t be quick to say you can’t make it. Where there’s a will, there’s a way. Have a great week! O

Phyllis Joy Lubin is an attorney with Rosenfeld & Maidenbaum, LLP, who resides in Cedarhurst with her husband Leonard and six children: Naftali, Shoshana, Rivka, Rochel, Yosef, and Lea. She welcomes your questions and comments at [email protected]. 14 October 30, 2009 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES BAGEL STORE Continued from Front Cover years. In a few weeks, my family will mark the 20th yahrzeit of my father, Rabbi Nison Gordon, of blessed memory. His passing during that snowy Chanukah redirected our holiday focus and indeed changed our lives in ways too numerous to calculate. There we were, celebrating the chag as one big, happy, and growing family, and the next day I stood in the hot sun on top of a mountain in Bet Shemesh, Israel, saying kaddish for my father in stunned disbelief. I’ve tried to remain faithful to his wish that, at the very minimum, we visit his kever on his yahrzeit. I have to say that, as a family, we have a pretty decent record which I believe he would be satisfied with. For my part, I have to admit that while my mental sights are always focused on that place in Israel, I have, over the last two years in particular, tweaked the yahrzeit date a little. Now of course I understand that you can’t play three-card monte with a yahrzeit observance, but over the last few years I begged my father’s for- giveness and danced somewhat around the date. That said, and without getting into the legitimate or logical details why, this year my plan is, with G-d’s help, to be there on the day of his yahrzeit, the 6th day of Chanukah, which, just as it did 20 years ago, falls on a Thursday. The details of that day are vivid and crisp. I felt lost and beaten, but somehow an inner strength had been summoned, and miraculously and even with a bit of composure we did what we had to do. The interesting thing is that at that time, during those few days and then weeks and even months after my dad’s passing, I could never have imagined what it would be like two decades down the road. I knew that my father wanted to be buried in Eretz Yisrael, and while I once grappled with the seeming impracticality of that desire, I have since come to grips and reconciled with that reality. It was always clear to me from my conversations with my father as well as observing him up close that his love of Israel was all-encompassing and unquenchable. For my father, a writer whose life was filled with words, burial in Israel was the punctuation that could be the finishing touch to express his love for Eretz Yisrael and place the role of the land in the proper con- text of our lives.

Continued on Page 16 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES October 30, 2009 15 BAGEL STORE newspaper each week and watch him ognized for his wisdom and insight wher- Continued from Page 15 peruse the various pages, probably asking ever we went. Go you from your me different questions about a variety of And for all those reasons, Chanukah And I concluded almost immediately decisions, journalistic and otherwise, that is just not the same anymore. Granted, it land, from your that there was a deeply personal agen- need to be made in any given week. was much more difficult when the chil- birthplace and from da for making the statement that he For decades my dad was a seasoned dren were younger and I’d just disap- did by bringing Israel so intimately newspaperman. On Wednesday nights he pear after the fourth candle and dash off your father’s house, into his life and the lives of his chil- would have either the Day Morning to the airport for that flight to Israel. dren. And that probably came from his Journal or its successor, the Algemeiner Now it’s different, as they are older, and to the land which I insight into our predisposition to put- Journal, delivered to our home. some have their own kids. But still my will show you ting things off. For example, in my Sometimes he would spread the wide Chanukah candles are not the same. I case, when he passed away I had not pages on our dining-room table and look light that one on the first night and just (Bereishis 12:1) been to Israel for ten years. He proba- things over with his discerning eye. He’d can’t resist looking to the left at the bly believed that empty sixth cup of “From your land”—from without him the menorah and your will (eretz, the being there, the think back to why Hebrew word for land, is years would just that night will roll on and more I wonder what life would have been always be different etymologically related to years would pass for us. the word ratzon—will). until I got around So, you see, my to going. like if I could bring my father a copy father didn’t just “From your birthplace”— I’d like to make choose Eretz from your emotional and another comment of this newspaper each week. Yisrael because of about marking 20 his own personal behavioral self (which is the years since my life interests and con- product of a person’s envi- changed and we victions. By mak- ronment).“From your had to go on with- ing that decision, out my dad. When I drive up that hill look those pages up and down. Was he gave us so much of Eretz Yisrael that father’s house”—from your leading up to the top of that mountain everything in place the way it was when we might not have pursued on our own. intellect (In the terminology in Bet Shemesh, it is with nervousness he left his office a few hours earlier? His funeral took place on that mountain and anticipation. In a sense I feel that I Were there any unplanned changes or on a Friday morning 20 years ago. We of Kabbalah, the intellect is will possibly never come to grips with errors that would first play themselves were new mourners, somewhat shell- referred to as the father the reality of what occurred and how out the next morning? shocked; but Shabbos was coming in within man, since it is the things turned so upside down in an I really don’t know how my father Jerusalem and we had to get ready for instant for my mother as well as the became interested in journalism—how what would be the most deeply mean- progenitor of and authority rest of us. or why he became a writer, editor, and ingful, sad, and euphoric Shabbos of our over his feelings and behav- I also can’t resist calculating that had advertising salesman. I know that he young lives. My father had left us, but at my father lived he would have been turn- came to this country as a 16-year-old boy the same time he had handed us Eretz ior patterns). ing 92 years old in a few months. I won- in the mid-1930s. Beyond that, I just Yisrael. He comforted us in our loss. O (The Chassidic Masters) der what life would have been like if I accepted that Nison Gordon was Nison Comments for Larry Gordon are welcome at could bring my father a copy of this Gordon—relatively well-known and rec- [email protected].

16 October 30, 2009 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES Living Letters Continued from Front Cover ment is destroyed, but the osiyos, the letters, live on for eternity. Where do the letters go if there’s no parchment left? Our Chazal teach us that the “osiyos porchos b’avir,” the letters hover in the air. It has therefore long been a cus- tom to dedicate the writing of a new sefer Torah upon the passing of a Jew, especially one who was a true living sefer Torah. I have had the opportunity, as I’m sure you have, to be present at the dedication and completion of many sifrei Torah. While the venues and causes are different for each sefer Torah dedication, they are all inspiring and a source of great celebration. But one unique sefer Torah dedication that I participated in during Aseres Yemei Mr. Barry Septimus with Rabbi Eliezer Grunberg at the Kesivas Sefer Torah The Novominsker Rebbe.

such a great Torah personality. learn from and to observe his ways and his opened by the rosh yeshiva’s talmidim, he The Rebbe, in his public address and in middos. With his passing, his “osiyos,” his thinks of how another one of the rosh his elaboration to this author the next day, talmidim are “porchos,” spread out through- yeshiva’s “osiyos” has taken root. explained how he understands the concept out the world, wherever there are Jews who What was also truly special about that of “osiyos porchos b’avir.” He said, “The rosh thirst for the beauty and kedushah of Torah. evening was the opportunity for the yeshiva yeshiva was a living sefer Torah, which the The Rebbe, shlita, told me that every talmidim used for more than six decades to time he hears about another branch being Continued on Page 18

Rabbi Dovid Weinberger at the reception for Yeshiva Chofetz Chaim of Queens and the Kesivas Sefer Torah in memory of the rosh yeshiva, Rav Henoch Leibowitz, zt’l, during the Aseres Yemei Teshuvah (on September 22) at the home of Mr. and Mrs. Aaron Wolfson of Lawrence.

Teshuvah this year has a special place in my heart and mind. I’m referring to the event that took place in the home of Mr. and Mrs. Aaron Wolfson in Lawrence, which was one of many events at the start of a national campaign to write a sefer Torah in honor and in memory of one of the greatest marb- itzei Torah of our generation, the late rosh yeshiva of Yeshiva Chofetz Chaim of Queens, HaGaon Rav Henoch Leibowitz, zt’l, who passed away a year ago, following an illustrious career of harbatzas Torah spanning more than six decades. The rosh yeshiva was taught and nur- tured by his father, HaGaon Rav Dovid Leibowitz, zt’l, a prime disciple of Slabodka and Radin. Rav Henoch, took over the helm of the fledging yeshiva at the young age of 24, upon the untimely passing of his father, and led the yeshiva through difficult times. He was driven by the legacy of Torah and mussar that was embedded in his soul. The rosh yeshiva’s perseverance, dedication, and hard work paid off—and today, Yeshiva Chofetz Chaim has more than 400 talmidim in the main campus of the yeshiva in Kew Gardens Hills and has dozens of branches throughout the country and in Eretz Yisrael. At the sefer Torah dedication, the Novominsker Rebbe, shlita, who had a long and close relationship with the rosh yeshiva and is a great admirer of his colossal accom- plishment in harbatzas Torah, used his keynote address to underscore the significance of a kesivas sefer Torah in memory of

5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES October 30, 2009 17 Living Letters Continued from Page 17 and many of its alumni to express hakaras hatov and appreciation to the Wolfson family for their historic partnership and legacy they shared with the rosh yeshiva. Back in the 1970s, when the rosh yeshiva began to realize his dream of having his talmidim, following many years of growth in Torah and mussar in the yeshiva, step out into the world and open up branches of the yeshiva throughout the length and breadth of the country. Yeshivas, mesivtas, shuls, day schools, and outreach centers began to spread in Rochester, North Hollywood, Milwaukee, Phoenix, Tucson, The Novominsker Rebbe preparing to Kendall (Florida), Dallas, Miami, New write an os. Rabbi Bentzion Chait, Director of RSA’s National Torah Initative, with Rabbi Pesach Lerner. Haven, and elsewhere. For such a broad and daring venture, and express that to him?” A look at the many alumni of the yeshi- fet breakfast is to be served. you need support. Not just any support, That expression of mutual admiration va who hold important positions of chin- It was more than 30 years ago that the but from someone who shared the rosh continued on the evening of the sefer uch, rabbanus, and outreach in the Five yeshiva had a kabbalas panim gathering hon- yeshiva’s dream and vision. The Wolfson Torah dedication, with the rosh yeshiva’s Towns will find that there is not any insti- oring the rosh yeshiva in Monsey, and I had family, led by Mr. Zev Wolfson, already a talmidim expressing their hakaras hatov tution in the Five Towns that does not the great z’chus of bringing the elderly gadol legend in their support of kiruv and out- for the wonderful partnership of har- have a talmid of the yeshiva on its staff. ha’dor, HaGaon Rav Yaakov Kamenetzky, zt’l, reach throughout the world, joined with batzas Torah over the last few decades. Clearly, the osiyos are hovering in the avir to the event, where he was to be the keynote the rosh yeshiva in carrying forth his life- How befitting it was for the rosh yeshiva’s of the Five Towns as well. speaker. It was vintage Rav Yaakov. It was the long dream and vision. memory to dedicate Sefer Bereishis in The yeshiva has embarked upon a shortest keynote address I have ever heard I remember driving my beloved rebbi, honor of Mr. and Mrs. Zev Wolfson, the national campaign to reach out to commu- and the most powerful. The elderly rosh the rosh yeshiva, many years ago to the vort rosh yeshiva’s partner in so many endeav- nities throughout the country, wherever the yeshiva said, “The rosh yeshiva, Rav Henoch, of Moshe Wolfson, one of Mr. Zev ors of spreading the truth and beauty of talmidim of the rosh yeshiva are found, to takes the burden of K’lal Yisrael on his shoul- Wolfson’s sons. I knew that the rosh yeshi- Torah to future generations. encourage them to participate in the writ- ders, and K’lal Yisrael has to take the burden va’s hectic schedule did not allow him gen- The Novominsker Rebbe’s inspiring ing of a sefer Torah in his memory. The next of the yeshiva on their shoulders.” With that, erally to attend vorts, even those of his clos- address about the rosh yeshiva’s legacy and event is scheduled for Sunday, November 8, Rav Yaakov sat down. est talmidim. So I was curious why he felt contribution to K’lal Yisrael, and his words of 10:00 a.m. to noon, at the home of a promi- By participating in the writing of the sefer the need to attend this vort on an already praise and encouragement to the current nent alumnus, Mr. Uri Dreifus (303 Torah, we will have the opportunity to do very busy day. The rosh yeshiva responded, roshei yeshiva of Chofetz Chaim, who them- Buckingham Road in Cedarhurst). Rabbi just that. For dedication opportunities, or to “You have no idea how much hakaras selves are longtime prominent talmidim of Yaakov Bender, rosh yeshiva of Yeshiva schedule a kesivas sefer Torah gathering in hatov, I have to Mr. Wolfson for all his sup- Rav Henoch, zt’l, inspired the many Darchei Torah, whose father was a talmid of your community, please contact Rabbi port on behalf of the yeshiva’s mission of talmidim, alumni, and friends of the yeshiva Rav Dovid Leibowitz and very close with Eliezer Grunberg at 718-268-4700, ext. 123, or harbatzas Torah. How could I not attend in attendance that evening. the rosh yeshiva, is the guest speaker. A buf- e-mail [email protected]. O

18 October 30, 2009 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES Kids Not At Risk take seriously the statement of Chazal tinues to speak about his current life, I really feel and internalize their religious Continued from Front Cover that saving one life is the equivalent of wonder how many people know he truly practice and beliefs, but rather continu- saving the world, it is incumbent upon exists. His days are spent wholly ously go through the motions out of a something less understandable—shock us to learn from each young person who immersed in learning at a local beis sense of duty. “I felt that I would end up and surprise on the part of parents, teach- has found his way back. We must treat midrash, where only a handful of other being frum, because that’s what every- ers, and friends. If there is near universal each one as Hashem’s messenger with a people shuffle in and out through the body did.” acceptance that our community is in a unique lesson to teach us, a lesson that day. He’s still under the radar, yet he’s Yet he was only able to keep up his out- crisis, with unprecedented numbers of is indispensible if it helps protect even managed to find a way back to ward religious observance until he dis- young people turning away from the tra- one more child from the hazards of the Yiddishkeit almost entirely on his own. covered activities that provided “instant ditions they were raised with, how is it world or bring him home once he has His composure, normally serene, gratification.” He turned to drinking, that we continue to be caught by surprise ventured out. becomes only slightly troubled when he drugs, and girls. He still believed that time and time again? describes his feelings toward Yiddishkeit Yiddishkeit was “the destination,” but Many well-intentioned and wise writ- Lessons From Meshullam as a young boy. “I faked it as much as I once he gained an appetite for short-term ers and professionals have compiled lists What if there aren’t always risk fac- thought everyone else was faking it,” he pleasures, he also developed a quick of risk factors—situations that may lead tors? His face appeared in all the yeshiva tells me. “It was a farce and a show. reflex for dismissing the efforts of those to children eventually going off the class pictures, smiling along with the rest. That’s how I experienced it as a child,” who attempted to be mekarev him. derech or rejecting the Torah lifestyle in His report cards indicated vast potential, but “it was much easier to be frum than “Yeshivish guys who were once cool” favor of greater involvement in main- and he lived up to just enough of that not to be frum.” At the age of 7, he start- would occasionally call him up “random- stream cultural activities or in the precar- potential to avoid concern or suspicion. ed sneaking into his room to turn on the ly” to try to convince him to turn his life ious youth counterculture that spills out He grew up in a happy family environ- radio on Shabbos when his presence around, but they didn’t stand a chance from our neighborhoods’ hangouts to the ment, and to this day he enjoys a close was not expected at davening or meals. against whatever thrill was “waiting for streets. If the problem is right there in relationship with his parents and sib- He kept kashrus until the age of 17, per- me in the next room.” Teachers at the suc- front of us, and the risk factors so widely lings. None of our current efforts to haps because the violations were harder cession of alternative yeshivos he attend- publicized, the question becomes a dou- detect youth who might someday be “at to conceal. ed were scarcely more successful. “It did- ble one: not only why are we so sur- risk” would have paid him any attention. When he finally made his true lifestyle n’t get anywhere, because I didn’t want it prised, but why hasn’t our knowledge To the public eye, he was observing all known, his parents and teachers were to. I wasn’t interested in being helped.” and understanding of the problem corre- the commandments of the Torah and “hurt, ashamed, and sad.” They were also It was only when he hit “total spiritual sponded to a visible reduction in the inci- looked the part of a typical yeshiva shocked, even though the roots of the cri- bankruptcy” that he began to turn dence of youth rejecting Yiddishkeit? bachur. Yet Meshullam was violating the sis were nearly a decade old. At any rate, around, mostly on his own initiative. “I I recently had the privilege of dis- laws of Shabbos from the age of seven, the belated intervention efforts that were knew where I wanted to go, and I went cussing these issues with a special soul and steadily decreasing his commitment made, including therapy, had little there slowly. I started living a spiritual who has made a remarkable return trip until, at the age of 17, he decided to drop impact on Meshullam, who continued to life, and I realized that just being nice to from an adolescence and young adult- the farce and stop fooling his family and spiral toward what he describes as “spiri- people wasn’t going to be enough.” hood of inner turmoil, substance abuse, friends. Everyone was shocked. tual rock-bottom.” At this point, he received the patience and yeshiva-hopping. It is my hope that Married now, with a child, Meshullam While his outward appearance and and support of his family, and key words sharing his story will help generate some describes his current feelings toward behavior have changed drastically since of wisdom from a rav, who told him to insights that will go far in answering the Yiddishkeit in one word: “gevaldig.” With the two years he spent as an alcohol and take things at his own pace and make sure above questions. characteristic humility, he describes to drug user, it seems some of his feelings they worked for him. The rav explained to In secular social science, there is the me his intense appetite for learning have not. “It’s what the mussar seforim Meshullam that his accomplishments saying that you can’t generalize from a Torah and for the spiritual fervor of a say—that it’s all hergel.” He still perceives single experience. However, if we are to properly performed mitzvah. As he con- that a majority of religious Jews do not Continued on Page 20

5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES October 30, 2009 19 Kids Not At Risk Imagine a conductor who receives Hashem reassured him with one offer him support that is meaningful Continued from Page 19 news that an important dignitary will be “His’halech l’fonai veheyeh tamim.” If you and will be accepted. riding on his train to some very conse- follow My ways, you will be complete. Hashem’s answer is even more reveal- would not amount to much in his own quential meeting that could alter the Hashem comforted Avraham by showing ing—He reassured Avraham that He, too, mind if he didn’t really want them. course of history. Naturally, he spends him how he could maintain his nature of expects this type of avodah of helping oth- Alcoholics Anonymous was also instru- great effort ensuring the cleanliness of elevating and helping others, and yet still ers in the best way possible. But He went mental. “They taught me that it was OK to each corner of the train and takes great be elevated himself. There is no contra- even one step further; Hashem told be a religious Jew. I was already involved care mapping out each point along the diction—his essential nature would only Avraham that by accepting this b’ris he in prayer and connecting to Hashem.” trip. In all this excited effort, however, he thrive within the boundaries Hashem would bring temimus to himself, in that What can be done in the case of one forgets to check whether the passenger is had established for it. This is the temimus his own individuality would be more fully who at such a young age—7 years old— sitting in his seat before pulling on the referred to in the Torah’s description of realized. Hashem was looking out for already feels alienated from Yiddishkeit, whistle and sending the train on its way. Avraham’s b’ris milah. Avraham’s individuality to be preserved in especially given that he is hiding it from This is the image that strikes my mind the b’ris, the same way Avraham was con- everybody? “I needed to see that it was when I hear that someone’s child is off cerned for the individuality of others to be meaningful to them,” Meshullam says of the derech—that of an empty railcar preserved in his efforts to help them. his parents and teachers. “I saw people, speeding on its way to some important He forgets to check Or, in the terms of our mashal, Hashem including my teachers, not taking religion destination, with its important passen- wanted the real Avraham to be present seriously, and I figured it was a big farce.” gers nowhere to be found. Who is check- whether the passenger and accounted for before He sent him to But he struggled when I asked him what he ing the tickets? Who is making sure that perform the mitzvah that would mark the would do if he had a child in a similar situ- all are present and accounted for before is sitting in his seat beginning of the chosenness of the Jewish ation. “I would take responsibility for it the important trip commences? people. We can then say with no exagger- and look into it, but maybe there is no Few would argue with Meshullam’s before pulling on the ation that our chosen status is predicated answer. You should be there from the point that we must be there from the on the idea that we retain our individuali- beginning and know the kid—what does beginning for each child, to make sure he whistle and sending ty and serve Hashem and observe all the this kid need as an individual?” is really along for the ride in spirit as well halachos with our own stamp and style. What if they were never really “on the as in body. In other words, we must be the train on its way. Treating our children as individuals with derech” in the first place? Meshullam’s there to help children develop a personal unique contributions to offer is our best case demonstrates that often when we identity within Yiddishkeit, to see to it guarantee that they will be truly present in would normally begin our prevention that their avodas Hashem has their own body and spirit for the journey, and that efforts, there is already a crisis bubbling up stamp on it and is not anonymous. We can learn two messages of great rel- they will be able to take maximum advan- to the surface that requires intervention. The Shem MiShmuel on Parashas Lech evance from this ma’aseh, one from tage of the brilliant itinerary that has been However, the best minds and most dedi- Lecha cites his father’s saying that Avraham’s concern and another from the prepared for them. If we allow them to cated professionals and all their years of Avraham Avinu had an interesting con- way in which Hashem reassured him. remain anonymous and under the radar, experience won’t make much of a dent on cern before he accepted the command- First, we see that Avraham had qualms they will stop feeling like themselves and a person who has decided to tune them ment of b’ris milah on himself. His essen- about the idea of an avodah which does may begin to perceive themselves as “fak- out. Why is it only when he reached “rock tial nature, his personality, was helping not allow one to be involved in the spe- ers” who don’t really understand or appreci- bottom” that he made up his mind to lis- other people, and he feared that he cial problems and concerns of others. His ate what they are doing. The natural exten- ten? Perhaps we are focusing dispropor- would become so spiritually elevated idea of avodas Hashem was totally bound sion of this feeling is that they will begin to tionately on what drives kids “off the over the rest of humanity that he would up with the idea of helping each person perceive the people around them in the derech,” and not paying attention to no longer relate to their troubles and be as an individual—that only by being able very same way, making it all the more diffi- whether they ever got on in the first place. able to offer the right assistance. to relate to each person on their level can cult for those people to assist them when

20 October 30, 2009 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES the danger signs float to the surface. sincerity and wisdom of others, too. He I’m reminded that at the beginning of We were chosen for being who we are, If we fail to notice the crisis until it is will develop relationships of meaning every meeting, recovering addicts stand and only after we accepted did Hashem well under way, they will no more sud- and significance with parents and teach- up and identify themselves: “My name tell us what to do. We can pass on this denly take our advice seriously than we ers, so that they can be there for him is ____ and I’m an alcoholic.” Then I’m message by always making sure our chil- will suddenly understand what they have effectively if the occasional crisis crops reminded again of all the empty railcars dren feel validated for who they are, for been experiencing for the previous years. up. He will come to view our efforts to speeding along to an important destina- what is good about them, before they are Meshullam also indicated that the help him as genuine and well-meaning, tion. From the connection between instructed in how they should behave. O intervention attempts of concerned indi- instead of waiting until he hits rock-bot- Avraham’s entrance into the b’ris and viduals were unlikely to break his fixation tom for unlikely messengers like the idea of temimus, we learn that hav- Dr. Yakov Lowinger is director of the Priority-1 Research Institute. If you know of a young person on pleasures that provided immediate Alcoholics Anonymous to tell him that ing an identity is as important as having in crisis, please visit www.priority-1.org or call gratification. However, it is crucial to it’s OK to be a Jew. a destination. 516-295-5700. understand that the availability of these pleasures was not the independent cause of defection, but merely an obstacle to self-improvement that interfered with intervention efforts long after the onset of the underlying issues. The principle issue here, and I believe in many other cases of seemingly “normal” children who suddenly act out, is that there is an emotional and spiritual void inside them that they are yearning to fill, and for some reason they are not finding the means of filling this void within the regimen of religious activities they participate in at home, in shul, and in school. They want an identity, and specifically an identity within Yiddishkeit, similar to Hashem’s concern that Avraham’s personality be reflected in his avodah. They want an avodah which is tamim. Too often we speed along in the assumption that our students and children are following behind, instead of slowing down and helping them find their place. It is only natural that a child will perceive as insincere a style of observance that seems perfectly capable of racing on without him. When he feels validated, useful, and important within that observance, he learns to validate the

5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES October 30, 2009 21 letters, or just given you something witty L’zecher Nishmat Soupy Sales And My Urgent to banter about at cocktail parties or while on line at Brach’s, then, I ask you— please help me keep my beloved classic Plea To Save My Mercury Grand Marquis American, semi-luxurious, yacht-like exot- ica, which represents the finest attributes BY THE LEGENDARY Danny O’Doul, from re-registering my What a stupid thank you for a man who of great American coach building and D ANNY O’DOUL highly-collectable 1999 Mercury Grand has done more to promote “The motorcraft. I know times are economical- Marquis ultra-rare Park Lane Edition Avenue” than the mayor, the judges, the ly challenging. After all, I am the one com- due to allegedly unpaid parking tick- trustees, the horrid little clerks, the ath- ing to you, my dear readers, with cowboy We lost a great and funny Jew this ets—just the latest in an Obama admin- letic meter maidens, and even Jerry hat in hand and asking for an auto week—Soupy Sales, born Milton Supman, istration attempt to foster a climate of Seinfeld. They have turned their great- bailout. But, you must admit, this is the on January 8, 1926 in Franklinton, North big government usurping the valued pri- est friend, the Legendary Danny O’Doul, least you all can do for the Legendary Carolina, where the Supmans were the vate property of individuals. Between into a scofflaw, in the spirit of Billy the Danny O’Doul who brings his high-quali- only Jewish family in town. This is the tawdry villages of Valley Stream and Kid, John Dillinger, and Alexander ty commentary to you each week free of extremely interesting as, exactly nine Cedarhurst, I am being shaken down for Pieterikoff, the mad Russian double charge, and never (until this minute) years later, in the nearby Southern asked for anything in return. enclave of Tupelo, Mississippi, another Now there is a chance I can negotiate great show business Jew was born—the a settlement with these two nasty incomparable Elvis Presley. municipalities, And if I can, then rest Soupy Sales was my kind of guy. I For a generous present of $100.00, assured, any extra funds not needed will think the best tribute I can make to this be forwarded by me to a worthy local groundbreaking comedian, popular chil- I will visit you and pose for a charity or charities for the benefit of our dren’s television host, and mainstay neighbors who have more pressing prob- game show guest is to ask you all for lems than parking tickets. So your gen- money. Yes, Soupy became legendary for special commemorative photo erosity will not line the jeans pockets of asking tykes to go into their parents’ wal- the Legendary Danny O’Doul who is a lets at night and slip out a buck and send with you and your family. simple man and has few needs and it off to old Soupy. And they did! Of fewer wants. But I really NEED my 1999 course, this promptly got Soupy suspend- Mercury Grand Marquis! ed from his popular kids’ program. So, in And, yes, this tribute to the Legendary the ultimate tribute to this late, great Danny O’Doul will not go unrewarded: Jewish comic, I am taking a page out of princely sums in excess of $1,350. This is parking diplomat.” For any gift of five dollars or more, you his ingenious playbook, and I hope Larry an astounding amount of money, which Well, my loyal fans, I really need your will receive a special hand written and Gordon, the Rupert Murdoch of the Five represents mostly interest and penalties help now. My automobile registration signed personal thank you note from Towns Jewish Times, doesn’t dock me for on just short of a dozen parking tickets must be renewed in November, and I just me, the Legendary Danny O’Doul; send a couple of weeks. with a “face value” of about $250. What don’t have that kind of money. Please, if I, $20.00 and receive an O’Doul’s My dear readers, many of you may a cruel and unusual punishment for a the Legendary Danny O’Doul, has ever Designated Driver official key ring; for a recall that a few weeks ago, I conveyed man who has done more for local busi- brought a smile to your face, brightened generous present of $100.00, I will visit to you the evil plot of local govern- ness than the gaggle of multi-layered your oneg Shabbat, enhanced your repu- you and pose for a special commemora- ments to prevent me, the Legendary politicos who run these little villes. tation as a bona fide man or woman of tive photo with you and your family,

22 October 30, 2009 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES personally inscribed in genuine sharpie your premium gift, if applicable. and suitable for framing and placement Sorry, we cannot accept checks, credit in your den or billiard room. cards or paypal, and any monies sent to What better way to start your me are, surprisingly, not deemed a chari- Legendary Danny O’Doul memorabilia table contribution under the rules of the collection than by acting on this very IRS. They also do not technically qualify limited time offer, while making sure as tzedakah for your meiser requirements. columns like this continue to appear in However, rest assured they will really this fine journal and that the Legendary mean a lot to me! Danny O’Doul can still drive his So, to help out the Legendary Danny beloved classic to score free coffee at O’Doul and to pay tribute to the late, Capital One Bank. great Jewish comedian, Soupy Sales— So where do you send the money? Please do not wait Well, put it in an envelope addressed to Don’t be late nor procrastinate the Five Towns Jewish Times at the Or else I will lose my dear car to the address in the masthead and clearly state! mark it “Re: The Legendary Danny This is the Legendary Danny O’Doul O’Doul Scofflaw Prevention Fund.” Make signing off and wishing you a Great Good sure to include your name, address, and Shabbos—one filled with oneg and sim- telephone number on a piece of paper, chah and no scofflaw notices in your together with your cash gift, so that I can mailbox from any overly invasive and properly thank you personally and send aggressive municipal governments. O Your Ad Could Be Here.

5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES October 30, 2009 23 “moved by Y-Love’s life story and choic- From The Ghetto es, and inspired by how he uses his individual kochos hanefesh (talents) to serve G-d.” To The Shtetl: Jordan first began rapping while studying in Yeshivat Ohr Sameach in An Interview With Jerusalem. “Hip hop …for me growing up was just Hip-Hop Artist Y-Love something on the radio… I was never into underground hip-hop until yeshiva. BY SAMUEL SOKOL I grew up listening to punk rock and heavy metal.” Swaying to sharp, syncopated “I wasn’t really connecting to rhythms, a small group of American [Gemara], until one day… [my chavruta] yeshiva students sat entranced, listening just dropped a beat and starts with a lit- to a live preview of the latest mix tape tle chorus and… that became my style of from emerging hip-hop star Y-Love. learning.” As a bearded bochur sat beat-boxing, Y- He ran into opposition in the Beis Love, whose real name is Yitz Jordan, fre- Midrash, but he stands by his style. netically rapped in a mix of Aramaic, “Some of the bochurim were like ‘Oh

Hebrew, and Yiddish. this is so goyish. This is like shatnes; P h o t o

This private concert in the home of how could you bring this into such a B y M i k

Yeshivat Reishit Yerushalayim program holy place? It’s such a goyish style of e S o h director Rabbi Judah Mischel was part of music.’” n Jordan’s current Israel tour. “We went from the intermediate pro- Jordan’s music was called the “sound- gram to the beis midrash program in one intellectual component. As Jordan put it, din and convert.” track to social progression” by the hip- and a half z’manim and I still remember he was not yet able to tie his shoes, how- Currently following Sepharadi minhag- hop magazine URB. So how does such an the Gemaras that I learned back then ever, he knew that there was a group of im, Jordan converted in Borough Park and act end up in the living room of a rabbi, because we learned it to a beat.” people called Jews, and that he wanted to still dresses in a chassidic style. He is also performing for boys who spend all day He said that the style of learning does be one of them. His grandmother, who a fluent Yiddish speaker. He now lives on engrossed in the Torah? not matter, but that the main thing is to grew up serving as a shabbos goy and play- Long Island. Yitz Jordan is a convert to Judaism, a internalize the Torah in the head and in ing with Jewish children, also had an During his Beit Shemesh show, Y-Love Yiddish speaking, black hat wearing, the heart. intense interest in Judaism. explained to the students how important African-American who has been What began as a tool for Torah study Jordan began drawing six pointed stars it is to appreciate being born Jewish described as “making hip-hop kosher.” eventually morphed into a career. all over the house and later began wear- “If people even realize that being Rabbi Mischel explained that he Jordan had always wanted to be ing a kippah and tzitzis. born Jewish is like being born with a “wanted [my] talmidim to understand Jewish. When he was seven years old he “I spent seven years of my life wearing platinum credit card that you can’t read that individuality and ‘out of the box’ cre- saw a commercial on television wishing a yarmulke and tzitzis, pressed up against the expiration date on, you’ve got two ative expression can flourish within the viewers a happy Passover. He says that at the glass, wanting to be Jewish for seven choices, you can either lie to yourself boundaries of halacha.” that moment he wanted to be Jewish. years, and it took that long before I and tell yourself that the card already The rabbi said that the students were He explained that, at first, there was no would go up to New York to find a beis expired, or you can max it out and that’s

24 October 30, 2009 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES what people need to do.” “Judaism is the hottest thing ever. Torah’s the hottest thing ever,” he exclaimed. Asked if he views his music as a tool for kiruv, Jordan responded that “Every Jewish performer, somewhere inside their heart of hearts, wants to write the song that’s going to achieve one hundred percent affiliation in the Jewish world. Everybody wants to do that. Kiruv’s nowhere near the central purpose of my music, but everybody wants that. Every frum performer wants to write that track that makes the world frum.

“Judaism is the hottest thing ever. Torah’s the hottest thing ever,” he exclaimed.

“But for me, my underlying message of everything is that all prejudice is destructive. Unity has got to be the way that humanity’s going to be working towards if it’s going to survive, not just prosper.” Y-Love’s sound is not only appreciated by young Jews. He has a sizable following in the gentile world. “This one non-Jewish guy from Louisiana fell in love with my song ‘Mehadrin rhymin’, which is like two thirds in Aramaic. To watch this guy from Louisiana try to sing in Aramaic, I tried not to laugh…” While Jordan expressed his admiration for such traditional Jewish performers as Lipa, he also expressed hope that Jewish music would evolve from “just consist[ing] of trumpets and little boys.” Y-Love is one of several acts signed to the frum Shemspeed record label. He col- laborates with such other Jewish hip-hop artists as Diwon and DeScribe, a Chabad chassid. He has also produced remixes with Israelis such as the ethnic/world performer Idan Rachel. Full of positive vibes and singing a message of hope, Jordan did express one pet peeve during his concert. When asked about how he writes his music, he replied that he is ”up at two in the morning when it comes to write lyrics and I got Gemaras out, I’m looking online, I got Wikipedia open, I got Hebrewbooks.org…all these Hebrew websites… Soulja Boy comes up with ‘woo” and goes platinum. I can’t be as stupid as you gotta be to sell.” The bochurim responded with raucous laughter. Y-Love’s message of unity is not just something theoretical. He experienced intense racism during his conversion process. He hopes that by breaking down barriers between Jews, he can make the world a better place. O 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES October 30, 2009 25 Israel Denies Har HaBayit Dig, Announces Kotel Plaza Excavation

BY SAMUEL SOKOL

The Israeli Government Press Office took members of the foreign press corps on a guided tour of the Western Wall tunnels this past week, apparently in response to recent claims by the Palestinian Authority, Israeli-Arab law- makers, and the Waqf administration. Muslim and Arab figures in Israel have been claiming that “extremists,” settlers, and the Israeli government are colluding to Judaize Jerusalem and are working to undermine the foundations of the Al-Aqsa mosque, located on the Temple Mount. Such claims have been used as the pre- text for violent clashes, rock-throwing attacks, and firebombing throughout East Jerusalem and the Old City. At the beginning of the tour, GPO director Danny Seaman denied that the tour had any connection to recent events: “We don’t want to turn this into a political tour. What is happening here by the State of Israel is being done to uncover the past. This area is important to the three monotheistic religions. There is an obligation for all of us to learn the past, to understand what happened here.” He further stated that he did “not want to get involved” in any discussion of the current tensions or violence surrounding the site. However, the tenor of statements made later in the tour indicated that the chief reason for the tour was indeed setting the record straight regarding Israeli excavations on the mount. Ofer Cohen, chief engineer of the Kotel tunnels, explained that the work being done was actually beneficial to the stability of the area. In discussing the recent work in the soon to be opened Hall of Ages, which is located underneath a row of Arab houses abutting the Wall, Cohen stated, “There’s a lot of talk about instability and the digging causing problems. Let me reassure you that wherever we dig, or wherever we are and we have access to, we improve the structural stability tenfold.” “When we put on this structural system above us, we actually improved the structural stability of this place. That’s what we do everywhere in the tunnels. Our first priority is always safety, of both visitors inside the tunnels and the inhab- itants above us. That’s our top priority. We take it very seriously and there’s no room for error in this aspect.” Since the Palestinian Authority was given de facto control over the mount, renovations aimed at destroying the Jewish character of the site have taken place and have seriously weakened the structural integrity of the southern retaining wall. In 2001, Israeli Antiquities Authority head Shuka Dorfman warned that the wall is “in danger of collapse.” When the Waqf, the Islamic trust that oversees civil administration of the Mount, began excavation work in the area known as Solomon’s Stables in 1997, archaeologists offered to pay for the work being done in exchange for the right to examine the area and to salvage artifacts 26 October 30, 2009 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES The Rabbi of the Western Wall, Excavations at the rear of the Kotel plaza. Shmuel Rabinovitch, spoke with reporters in the Hall of Ages. the world to protest the crime and to refuse it by all legitimate means.” unearthed in the course of the digging. Shmuel Rabinovitch, the Kotel Rabbi, Former Waqf director Adnan Husseini spoke with reporters in the Hall of Ages. explained, “It’s a principle. The Waqf The rabbi put the onus of responsibility works alone at the mosque.” for controlling the violence on Muslim Many archaeological treasures were religious leaders. “The people who are found in the rubble discarded by the coming to pray with a bundle of stones Muslim trust, including a coin dated to do not belong in such a holy place . . . the First Temple period. The police are not needed for that. Explaining the reasons for the current Every religious leader has to distance riots, the Palestinian Authority Ministry such people from holy places,” the of Education stated that “extremists” had rabbi said. announced plans to “storm the mosque “The Jewish law forbids ascending in order to perform religious rites in the the Temple Mount. Any person who occasion of the so-called ‘Yom Kippur.’” says that Israel is excavating on the The PA called for “the masses of Arab and Islamic nations, and lovers of justice in Continued on Page 28

5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES October 30, 2009 27 Kotel Excavation that the night is day; it is a who ascend to the Temple the Temple Mount.” rabbi demurred. When pressed Continued from Page 27 complete lie. To my sorrow, Mount, and I am against When asked to elaborate on for an answer, he named there are people who speak in ascending to the Temple who was meant by his state- Sheikh Raed Salah. Salah, the Temple Mount, it is as if he is the name of G-d and even lie in Mount, they agree that it is for- ment that there are those who fiery leader of the Northern saying that day is night and the name of G-d. Even those bidden to excavate on top of lie in the name of G-d, the Islamic Movement, has served time in jail for funding the Hamas terror organization and has been detained on multiple occasions for inciting Arab violence against Jews. After exiting the tunnels, the GPO showed journalists excavations being conducting at the rear of the Western Wall plaza. The Israeli Antiquities Authority is currently excavating a Roman road from the Second Temple period. An IAA guide explained that the Israeli government is planning to excavate underneath the Western Wall plaza. The excavations will create an archaeological park directly underneath the area where wor- shippers currently stand while praying at the Kotel. The current prayer area will remain open, supported by pillars, while a new area will be added underneath, at the level at which wor- shippers at the ancient Temple stood in the past. The dig may be met with harsh reactions by Israel’s Muslim population. The Palestinian Authority has stressed “the danger of describing Al-Boraq Wall as Wailing Wall” as it is “the western part of the Wall of Al-Aqsa Mosque.” O

28 October 30, 2009 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES

Bar Mitzvahs s”xc Trim Down Amid Recession

BY ADAM SOSNIK

With the weak economy forcing lifestyle changes large and small, one of the mainstays of American Jewish life— the bar-mitzvah party—is undergoing some recession-era adaptation. While few seem to be doing away with the traditional celebration, many families are scrapping themed parties, trimming guest lists, and, in some cases, holding joint or group bar-mitzvah parties. “The creative aspect of bar mitzvahs has been decreased,” said caterer Jeffrey Stansfield, the chef of Advantage Jewish Catering and Event Planning in Encino, Calif.

“For a bar mitzvah, the Torah portion and synagogue service is what counts. The rest is just a child’s birthday party.”

The cost-cutting at Jewish lifecycle celebrations is by no means universal. Plenty of lavish bar-mitzvah celebrations, not to mention extravagant Jewish weddings, are still being held. But the cut- backs in bar-mitzvah parties have been pronounced in some communities, according to caterers in the industry. Stansfield said he recently catered a joint bar mitzvah for four friends whose families decided to have a combined celebration, saving on invitations, food, photography, and specials such as enter- tainers and giveaways. Stansfield said spending on those kinds of specials have fallen about 40 percent. One caterer in Cherry Hill, N.J., said the average spending on a bar mitzvah has dropped to $15,000 from $30,000 a few months ago, as clients cut out bells and whistles. “The last time we did a full weekend event with kiddush meals, breakfast, luncheons, and dinner buffets was a year-and-a-half ago,” said the caterer, who asked not to be identified. “Most families are looking for simplicity.” In Dallas, Lowell Michelson of Simcha Kosher Catering said that while he has slashed prices to satisfy clients who want to produce a bar mitzvah at half the usual price, the fixed costs of his own expenses—gas, labor, food, ship- ping—have made his business all but unsustainable. “We’re not able to produce profit,” Michelson said. “Business has been hurting.” Among the extras clients are eliminat-

Continued on Page 31 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES October 30, 2009 29 bles in the oven. Grate raw beets for a delicious and colorful addition to salads or decorative garnish for soups. When making homemade juices, a quarter of a beet will turn any green drink into a sweet pink concoction, pleasing to both the eyes and the taste buds. Sauté beet greens with other braising greens such as chard and mustard greens. Marinate steamed beets in Beets: Jewels Of The Ground fresh lemon juice, olive oil, and fresh herbs.

Magenta, fuchsia, and purple beets lively green color. Wear gloves if you’re Beet And Goat-Cheese Salad With and golden beets into 1/4-inch dice and put 1 with fans of greens are readily available at afraid of staining, or just go barehanded if Pistachios in separate bowls. Add 2 ⁄2 tablespoons most grocery stores. The delicious natural you don’t mind a bit of “purple hand syn- This recipe makes a beautiful appetizer dressing to each bowl and toss to coat. sweetness and vibrant colors make the drome” (conversation starter, anyone?). If that looks professional and will impress Place cookie-cutter in center of salad flesh appear almost jewel-like. It is diffi- you accidentally dye your skin, simply rub your guests. To make it pareve, simply plate. Put one eighth of red beets in cut- cult to believe how the hardy, crunchy, on some lemon juice to remove the stain. leave out the goat cheese. ter and pack down with your fingertips. and often rough-looking raw beets can be To store beets, leave them unwashed in Makes 8 servings. Crumble 2 teaspoons goat cheese on top, transformed into something wonderfully your refrigerator’s vegetable drawer, where Ingredients: then one eighth of golden beets, packing 2 soft and buttery once they are cooked. they will keep for two to four weeks. Cut 3 large red beets (1 ⁄3 lb. without greens) them down. Gently lift cutter up and Edible green leaves are attached to the the majority of the greens and their stems, 2 large golden beets (1 lb. without greens) away from stack. Make 7 more servings in tapered round root that we know as beets. so they do not pull away moisture from 1/4 cup minced shallot the same manner. Both these greens and the root are packed the root. To prevent the roots from “bleed- 2 Tbsp. fresh lemon juice Drizzle each plate with 1 teaspoon with flavor and nutrients. While we often ing,” leave about two inches of the stem 3/4 tsp. salt dressing and scatter some pistachios on. think of beets having a reddish-purple attached. Store the unwashed greens in a 1/4 tsp. black pepper Toss spinach with just enough remaining hue, some varieties are white, golden-yel- separate plastic bag, where they will keep 1/4 cup pistachio oil (see recipe below) dressing to coat and gently mound on top low, or even rainbow-colored. The sweet fresh for about four days. 4 oz. soft mild goat cheese of beets. Serve immediately. taste of beets reflects their high sugar con- Cook beets lightly so they retain their 3 Tbsp. salted shelled pistachios, coarsely To make pistachio oil: Toast 1 cup pis- tent—the highest of all vegetables—yet powerful health benefits. When bruised or chopped tachio kernels. When cool, finely grind in 1 they are very low in calories. pierced, beets bleed, losing some of their 1 oz. baby spinach (4 cups), thinly sliced food processor. In a saucepan, warm 1 ⁄2 Choose small or medium-sized beets vibrant color. To minimize bleeding, wash Directions: cups olive oil and ground pistachios and whose roots are firm, smooth-skinned, and them gently under cool running water, Preheat oven to 425°F. Separately wrap stir until blended. Transfer to a jar and let deep in color. Smaller, younger beets may taking care not to tear the skin. To prevent red and golden beets tightly in double lay- stand overnight at room temperature. be so tender that peeling won’t be needed bleeding when boiling beets, leave them ers of foil and roast in middle of oven Strain. Substitute in place of olive oil to 1 after they are cooked. Avoid beets that have whole, with their root ends and one inch until tender, 1 to 1 ⁄2 hours. Unwrap beets. add flavor to any recipe. spots, bruises, or soft wet areas, all of of stem attached. Adding an acidic ingredi- While beets are cooling slightly, whisk which indicate rotting. While the quality ent such as lemon juice or vinegar will together shallot, lemon juice, salt, and Eating quality, delicious meals is easy when all the work is done for you. Hire a personal chef to of the greens does not reflect the quality of brighten the color, while baking soda will pepper in a small bowl, then add oil in a prepare your dinners, Shabbos meals, or small the beet, if you are going to consume this often cause them to turn a deeper purple. stream, whisking. parties. For more information, contact Take Home very nutritious part of the plant, look for Beets can be used in a variety of dishes. Chef personal chef services by calling 516-596- When beets are cool enough to handle, 8865, writing to [email protected], or greens that appear fresh and tender, with a Add chunks of beet when roasting vegeta- slip off and discard skins. Separately cut red visiting www.TakeHomeChef.net.

30 October 30, 2009 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES Bar Mitzvahs Continued from Page 29 ing are special decor, extravagant cocktail hours, food upgrades, and size. They aren’t, however, doing away entirely with the party. “We’re doing as much work as ever here; people just spend less,” said Howard Heiberger, president of Exquisite Caterers in Marlboro, N.J. Heiberger said the Darwinistic nature of the catering business—weaker companies are felled by the recession, and stronger ones pick up clients from their failed counterparts— means that surviving companies are doing more business than ever. He said the last two years have been two of his company’s best, despite the recession. “Caterers who went out of business were going out of business anyway,” he said. “The recession just pushed them over the top. We’re not going anywhere.” Stansfield concurred, saying that “even though business is off, the business that has been there has been a lot of business.” Experts say the effects of the recession are more apparent at bar mitzvahs than weddings because the bar mitzvah is more expendable, weddings often have multiple funders—the bride and groom’s families— and weddings often represent the last of the major expenses for a child. Bar mitzvahs, on the other hand, are usually followed after several years by college tuition bills, then perhaps a wedding. “For a bar mitzvah, the Torah portion and synagogue service is what counts. The rest is just a child’s birthday party,” one Long Island caterer said. “A wedding is not a birthday party. It’s a pinnacle lifecycle event for adults, and their continued resistance to downsizing in the face of economic hardship proves this.” (JTA) O

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5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES October 30, 2009 31 ing spot close to my destination. village courthouse to vent. I knew I Recently, on a day when my hip was would get nowhere by speaking with a giving me considerable discomfort, I had secretary, but at that moment venting an errand to do, and I used the tag to park was uppermost in my mind. Suddenly I in a space directly in front of the store. was able to ignore the pain in my hip and After feeding the meter, I headed for my do the unthinkable—make yet another destination and assuaged my guilt with stop and climb the stairs to the court- the thought that I would be parked for house. Frustration is a powerful motiva- only a few minutes. My plan was to get tor. “Nice going, Hannah,” I said to myself. back home quickly. And sure enough, I “You should be ashamed of yourself. If Guilty As Charged was out and back at my car in five min- you felt well enough to go out, you utes. But in those 300 seconds I had got- should have walked a block to the store ten a ticket! instead of taking a handicapped spot. You When I broke some bones in my foot a where it languished, unused, for years. It At first, I couldn’t understand why. My got what you deserved.” But even know- few years ago, the doctor who X-rayed my was like a security blanket, and I couldn’t meter hadn’t expired, my inspection ing that I’d done the wrong thing, I still foot, taped it up, and provided me with bring myself to throw it out. I only knew sticker was up to date, and I had hung the felt the urge to show someone—any- the boot was emphatic. “Mrs. Berman,” he that it had expired when a new one was handicap tag on the mirror. I couldn’t one—that I did indeed have a tag. said, “although this is your left foot, do sent to me. The new one went into the imagine why a ticket was tucked under As expected, the bored secretary could not drive.” I told him that was ridiculous. same glove compartment. my windshield wiper. Angrily, I snatched do nothing for me. Stifling a yawn, she It was my left foot that was in a boot, not A few months ago, I began having occa- it up and was horrified to note that it was scribbled a date and time on a sheet of my right, so I would drive. He went on to paper, handed it to me, and suggested I explain: “If you get into even a small fend- return to take it up with the judge then. er-bender, regardless of who is at fault, My husband, Arnie, would have loved it. you’ll be in big trouble. As soon as you He enjoyed his appearances in traffic step out of your vehicle and someone sees We were a collection of solid citizens court. I recently found some pictures he a boot on your foot—even your non-driv- had taken to prove his innocence in one ing foot—you will be judged to have been case. In that instance, Hubby had gone driving while incapacitated, and your who suddenly found ourselves on back to the spot where he’d gotten a ticket insurance company will refuse to pay.” for going through a red light. He hadn’t It took every ounce of my willpower the wrong side of the law. seen the light because his view was not to cry. If you take away my “wheels,” blocked by a large truck in front of him. I feel trapped. But his warning scared me The truck had gotten through on the yel- and, although I’m generally a strong- low, but by the time Hubby passed the willed soul, I capitulated. I would depend light it was red, and he was pulled over. No on others to chauffer me around. sional trouble with a hip, so whenever because I had parked in a handicapped amount of explaining sufficed. The cop Long after the fractures had healed, walking caused me a great deal of pain, I space. My head did a quick swivel that probably hadn’t met his monthly quota, so walking continued to be painful. So I used the tag. It was the wrong thing to do, would have done an owl proud, and in an he said, “Tell it to the judge, Mr. Berman.” applied for and received a handicapped but I did it. Common sense should have dic- instant I saw that the space where the And hubby decided to do just that. parking tag. I used it only a few times, tated that if I was in so much pain, I should blue-and-white tag had been hanging was Before going to court, he grabbed his until I was pain-free. Then I relegated the have stayed home. Instead, I told myself I empty. It had fallen to the floor. tag to the glove compartment of my car, was justified in taking a handicapped park- Outraged, I immediately headed to the Continued on Page 34

32 October 30, 2009 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES October 30, 2009 33 THAT’S THE WAY IT IS! Continued from Page 32 camera, returned to the scene of the crime, and hunkered down by the side of the road. He waited for a truck to come along and stop at that light. He popped out to snap pictures that would prove that the light wasn’t visible to anyone driving behind the truck. He brought those photos to court, proudly showed them to the judge, and got off without paying a fine. He was elated. On the evening that I made my debut in traffic court, the room was packed. Some people had obviously been there before, and they appeared to treat the evening as something of a social event. Not I. I was too nervous to say even a word to my friend Amy, who had gra- ciously accompanied me on this, my maiden voyage into a courtroom. We weren’t a group of ragtag scofflaws. We were a collection of solid citizens who suddenly found ourselves on the wrong side of the law. The three plea choices presented to us by a most affable judge were as follows: guilty, not guilty, or guilty with an explanation. The judge explained at the outset that a plea of not guilty would mean coming back another time to have the case tried. In other words, only those who were willing to pay up would be sprung immediately. Since few people were interested in a return trip, most went with the “guilty with an explanation” gambit. This gives the schlemazel who was ticketed an opportunity to be heard and to hope for a substantial fine reduction. And that’s exactly what happened. After hearing my explanation, the judge reduced my $150 fine to $100. Still unhappy, I agreed to pay and was instructed to step up to a small table set up next to his bench to give the money to the woman doing the collections. “What a racket,” I thought. Parting with $100 was griszuring me, so as I approached I decided to give it one more try. In an undertone, I beseeched the judge to please give me a bit more of a break. To my surprise, he did! He took one look at me and, although we had never met before, he must have decided that I wasn’t in the best emotional shape of my life. In an undertone of his own, he instructed the woman to take only $75 from me. I thanked him profusely, paid my fine, and left. Hubby would have been proud. And he would be prouder still to know that I threw out the handicapped parking tag that same night! O

Hannah Berman lives in Woodmere and is a licensed real-estate broker associated with Marjorie Hausman Realty. She can be reached at [email protected] or 516-902-3733.

34 October 30, 2009 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES And an angel of G-d found her. And he said… And an angel of G-d said to her… And an angel of G-d said to her… And an angel of G-d said to her (Bereishis 16:7, 8, 9, 10, 11)

How many angels did she meet? Rabbi Yossi bar Chananiah said: Five; each time that it says “and he said” it was another angel.The other Sages say: Four; each time it says “an angel,” it was another angel.

Said Rabbi Chiya: See the difference between the earlier and later generations! Manoach said to his wife,“We shall surely die, for we have seen an angel” (Shof’tim 13:22); but Hagar the maid of Sarah sees five angels one after the other and is not afraid of them.” Said Rabbi Yitzchak: “The members of Avraham’s household were all prophets— she was used to seeing them.”

(Midrash Rabbah)

5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES October 30, 2009 35 a scandal, it gets a handle.” That’s the “wonderful”—and asked him if he was fourth estate’s approach to any group or Jewish. “No,” he said, going on to explain The Daily Jews individual, but the media take particular how he knew about the holidays, “but I glee in making sure that a religious per- work for a government agency and some son—extra credit if he’s a religious Jew— of my superiors there are Jewish people.” BY RABBI AVI SHAFRAN what was to come. who has done something wrong gets top Then he volunteered—I am not embel- “Yeah,” he continued, with a broad billing. And then there are the farther lishing—that “they are wonderful bosses Shortly after Sukkos, I bought a scarf smile, “and I want you to know that they reaches of Blogistan, where facts don’t to have. They really are. I admire them.” for my son before he headed back to are the nicest people. They always treat even matter, and a toxic mix of venom, I realized then why he had always been yeshiva and into winter. The experience, me really good.” imaginativeness, and psychopathy so friendly to me. slight as it was, convinced me that a Relieved, I returned the smile (which I serves as the local currency. The dovetailing of the two experiences thought that had been bouncing around only then noticed), told the businessman The actions of most observant Jews, was reassuring. Despite the mistakes, or in my mind for several days deserved to how happy I was that “my people” were though—the “daily Jews” who invest worse, of some and the accusations lev- be wrapped in some words. acting as we are supposed to, and wished their quotidian lives with behavior eled against others, there is still a mass of There are drawbacks to working in him well. becoming members of a holy people— Jews who daily and diligently heed the lower Manhattan, but advantages too. Talmud’s admonition to act in a way that Among the latter is the ability to buy an “causes the name of G-d to be loved apple or banana or necktie or watch—or because of you[r actions]” (Yoma 86a). The scarf—at a reasonable price from one of There is still a mass of Jews who daily countless individuals who make up that the street vendors that pepper the neigh- population will never appear in the borhood’s broad sidewalks. media world; their due will come in Some of the merchants are not help- and diligently heed the Talmud’s another one. ful; others are “helpful” in an aggressive The effects, however, of the way they sort of way. The necktie-scarf-kerchief admonition to act in a way that “causes live have impact here and now. Despite salesman near our offices was— the misguided actions of some members Goldilocks would have approved—just of the tribe, and the media’s enthusiasm right. A middle-aged black gentleman, he the name of G-d to be loved.” in providing them prominence, the “daily pointed me to a pile of garments, told me Jews” broadcast an accurate message to let him know if I needed any help, and about Jews and Judaism to countless peo- left me to inspect his wares. ple like the scarf seller and my bus-stop After I found what I wanted and made As I headed to the office, my relief reflect Jewish ideals in all that they do. friend—non-Jews and Jews alike. my purchase, he thanked me. But he embarrassed me—but I understood it. That was the scarf man’s experience— The mass of “daily Jews”—and, despite seemed to want to say something else, so The image of Jews—particularly those and also that of the man at the bus stop the headlines and headhunters, it is a crit- I didn’t rush away. Looking me in the eye, who are readily identifiable as such— mere days earlier who asked me how my ical mass—may not even realize the he told me that he sometimes plied his has been tarnished over recent years. holidays had been. effect they have on the image of the trade in another part of Manhattan, That is partly because of the observant I had seen this man at the bus stop Jewish people. But the rest of us should— where there are many people “like you.” I Jewish community’s growth—rendering many times, and we would always and we should aspire to make our places assumed—correctly it turned out—that its failures more numerous and more exchange greetings but had never spo- among them. O he meant Orthodox Jewish men with visible—and partly because of a media ken much. I had pegged him as an © 2009 Am Echad Resources. Rabbi Shafran is hats and beards. ethic that seems to have updated “if it Egyptian, but it turns out he is from director of public affairs for Agudath Israel of “Really?” I said tentatively, wondering bleeds, it leads” to something like “if it’s India. I responded with the truth— America.

36 October 30, 2009 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES happiness and purpose. tact those particular people and she suc- Though there is so much to take away cessfully purged herself of any and all ill from this film, I will share some of the life feelings. Clearly it was a cathartic and lessons that I and my family took away cleansing experience for her, and a life with us. Perhaps the most powerful lesson lesson that she hoped we would all learn is that no matter what one is challenged from and implement in our own lives. with, big or small, one always has a choice Simcha Esther’s belief in joy reminded in determining one’s reaction to it. In us that there is so much around us to feel Time Of My Life ways. Her spirit soared and she had a way Simcha Esther’s case, it would not have joyful about. The city skyline, a great meal, I was asked to accompany some of my of infecting everyone around her with the been surprising to see her pack it in, wonderful music, a heart-to-heart talk sisters, my niece, and my mother to lightness of her being. Though learning become depressed, and get busy dying with a soul mate, and, of course, every day attend the viewing of a documentary film, that her prognosis was basically hopeless, rather than get busy living. The title of her of life all constitute excellent reasons to called Time of My Life, being shown in she never gave up hoping, praying, and film, Time of My Life, kind of says it all. experience happiness and laughter even in Manhattan last Thursday evening. The believing in the possibility of a miracle. There was never a moment’s doubt for the face of pain and hardship. Somehow, idea for the documentary was envisioned Through it all, she continued to joke, laugh, Simcha Esther that she was going to make there was always so much laughter . . . by Simcha Esther (Shari) Gershan, a young paint, cook, make amends, and enrich the each day she had left sparkle with sun- I found it particularly poignant and inspi- woman who had been diagnosed with lives of everyone she encountered. She had shine. And everyone around her—her fam- rational to observe how Simcha Esther stage-4 lung cancer (despite never having an irresistibly magical way about her. ily, her friends, and even her doctors and anticipated and reveled in every Shabbos smoked and having lived a very healthy Throughout the documentary, except nurses—couldn’t help but get caught up in and yom tov. The joy and satisfaction that lifestyle). Simcha Esther was anxious to for a few grueling moments when her magnetism and positive energy. She she seemed to inhale through her beautiful invite everyone to accompany her on her Simcha Esther was suffering from the inspired laughter and prayer near and far. Shabbos table, her carefully arranged flow- personal and heroic journey, in the hope onslaught of chemotherapy, her beautiful Simcha Esther discussed the emotion ers, her attentively devised menu, and her of sharing the lessons she was learning and radiant dimples were always present. of anger and how vehemently she felt true love of the moment were powerful along the way and to inspire others. She had a gorgeous smile, beautiful skin, that carrying around anger was akin to reminders of what Shabbos and yom tov It was further explained to me that the and all-knowing eyes that simply drew carrying around deadly baggage. With all could and should look like. She made it all filming of Simcha Esther for the documen- you in and left you wishing that some- the praise that I have been heaping on seem magical and fun. Each holiday was tary was completed right after this past how you might have been lucky enough her, I nevertheless don’t want to sound as enveloped in its true meaning, accompa- Pesach. Tragically, she died on Yom Kippur. to be a close friend of hers. though she wasn’t flesh and blood like nied by her unique creative flair and some- Though I was preparing myself for a There was something almost hypnotic the rest of us, capable of disappointments times even a bit of entertaining drama. depressing evening, I was told that this about watching the way Simcha Esther and resentments. Simcha Esther lived a I’ve probably only scratched the surface film was in fact inspirational and uplift- reacted to her life and the life going on full and accomplished life and, as a result, of the compelling effect Simcha Esther’s ing—and both are true. Every member in around her. Her spirit, joy, and zeal, encountered individuals and situations life and documentary had on me and my the audience took away many valuable despite her dire situation, boggled the that did not always pan out according to crew. I hope to inspire others to experi- life lessons and was likely changed in mind. As a result, she accomplished her her plans. There were occasions when ence it for themselves. Be sure to bring some small or maybe not-so-small way as mission of changing lives. Individuals bad blood arose. plenty of tissues along, but also expect to a result of experiencing this film. took on more learning and more mitzvos. But during her illness, it became clear smile and laugh—and ultimately reexam- I encourage everyone to take advan- They sought to fix broken relationships as day that making amends with those ine some of your beliefs about life. O tage of other upcoming showings of this and to laugh more. With the help of her individuals whom she had become dis- documentary, or to purchase the soon-to- support team, whom she dubbed “Team connected from due to anger was vitally Esther Mann, LMSW, is a counselor and life coach in Lawrence. Esther can be reached at 516-314- be-released DVD. Simcha,” she kept busy with the prospect important to her well-being and quality 2295 or [email protected]. She works with Simcha Esther was unique in many of living every day to the fullest, with of life. Simcha Esther proceeded to con- individuals, couples, and families.

5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES October 30, 2009 37 the possibility that it will take a little the upending of mortgage guidelines longer to sell than it would have taken the way we used to know them for the in the past. “new way.” The “new way” basically I have been surprised often, as I sit causes indigestion for the buyer and the with homeowners and review recent seller alike. home sales and pricing, to find that the Why? Well, the buyer still has to take larger percentage of sellers feel that the the original route. They go to their reduction of home prices is happening mortgage broker or bank to get prequal- elsewhere and they really have not taken ified or preapproved for a mortgage into account that we are part of this before they start looking for that house They’ve Changed The Game! nation, and it is happening here as well. It that works for them. Once they find is true that we have weathered the price that new house, the new mortgage We have read the newspapers, listened and absorb about the changes that have drops in certain areas of the Five Towns game begins. The bank sends its to the television reports, and seen thou- occurred in the real-estate and mortgage better than many other areas because of appraiser out to appraise the house. In sands of articles on the Internet through- market, it does not penetrate our mind the influx of new buyers wanting to live the past, an appraiser would appraise a out the last year or so regarding all the until we are thrust into the reality of that in a large and vibrant frum community house based on closed sales similar to changes that have come down the pike in marketplace and begin to experience like ours, and we have continued with a that house from the previous year. The the real-estate and mortgage industry, as those changes and how they affect us in consistent number of new buyers regular- “new way” now only allows an apprais- well as how the banks are giving (or not the search for a new home or in the sale ly coming into the market. On the other er to use closed sales from the previous giving) mortgages to the masses. But of an existing property. hand, these buyers are coming into the three months, and if there are not any somehow all the reading and listening in Sellers entering the real-estate market marketplace expecting to pay much less closed sales that make sense (meaning the world does not really prepare the as it exists today might assume that they for that home of their dreams than they that they are similar size, similar condi- buyer or seller of real estate for the reali- can market their property in the same would have paid two or three years ago, tion, same type of location) then they ty on the ground as they begin their way it was done in years past. Possibly because the game has changed. must use closed sales that make less search for a new property to purchase or they will have read and heard of the The change in the game—besides the sense—even if the appraisals result in for the presentation on the sales market many changes in the real-estate and recession—is the way the banks are much less value than the present mar- of their existing property. mortgage market, but will figure that the playing the new mortgage game. The ket will bear, and often less value than Somehow, no matter what we read only thing they have to worry about is new mortgage game (as I like to call it) is the sales price agreed upon between the buyer and seller. The government regulators have also put their two cents in to make this process more complicated. They have now demanded a management appraisal system. This management appraisal system was their way of creating a system whereby an appraiser is picked by a lot- tery system through a management company, as opposed to just choosing an appraiser who is experienced in a specific location. The feeling was that by choosing an appraiser this way, there would be no connection between the appraiser and the bank, thereby making it a more accurate system of appraising. Unfortunately, the opposite has occurred, with many management appraisal companies attracting inexperienced appraisers who are willing to take less money for the appraisals and who are so hungry for business that they agree to appraise homes in locations they are unfamiliar with. All these situations are creating obsta- cles that were unusual in the past but very commonplace today. In certain cases, potential sales may fall apart, or the agreed-upon sales price might need to be dropped, or the bank, in looking to protect itself, might demand conditions it typically never asked for in the past, such as various repairs prior to clearing a loan for closing. These new practices that the banks have implemented have taken a toll on both buyer and seller in their quest to get through this bureaucracy and complete their sales transactions. They have also created a greater demand for seasoned real-estate brokers and mortgage brokers with top negotiating skills and know- how in tunneling through this system. This new game is now with us for the foreseeable future and is something we are all going to have to just get used to as “the new way.” O

Anessa Cohen lives in Cedarhurst and is a licensed real-estate broker and a licensed N.Y.S. mortgage broker with over 20 years of experience, offering full-service residential and commercial real-estate services (Anessa V Cohen Realty) and mortgaging services (First Meridian Mortgage) in the Five Towns and throughout the tri-state area. She can be reached at 516-569-5007 or via her website, www.AVCrealty.com. Readers are encouraged to send questions or comments to [email protected]. 38 October 30, 2009 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES We begin life already programmed ence of home and society. And beis with the drives and inclinations that avicha, your father’s house, refers to man form an inborn psyche and character. as a mature and rational being, forging Then begins, from the moment of birth, his mind-set, character, and behavior the influence of our environment, as par- with the transcendent objectivity of the ents, teachers, and peers impress their intellect. (In the terminology of Kabbalah manners and attitudes upon our souls. and Chassidism, the intellect is referred Finally, a third and overriding influence to as the father within man, since it is the comes with the attainment of intellectu- progenitor of, and authority over, his feel- From The Chassidic Masters al maturity: man, alone among G-d’s crea- ings and behavior patterns.) tures, has been granted an objective intel- By conventional standards, this con- lect with which he can, to a great extent, stitutes the ultimate in human achieve- The Three Journeys Of Avraham control the stimuli to which he is ment: the development of one’s natural exposed and the manner in which they instincts, the assimilation of learned and The Three Journeys Of Avraham birthplace, and from your father’s house shall affect him. With his mind, he is observed truths, and the remaking of A sizable portion of Sefer Bereishis is to the land that I will show you.” Now empowered to develop himself beyond— self through the objective arbiter of devoted to the life of Avraham Avinu, the that you have realized the full capacity of and even contrary to—his genetic and mind. In truth, however, the intellect is first Jew. Most curiously, however, we your conscious powers, go on to you.I conditioned self. still part and parcel of our humanity, first meet Avraham rather late in his cele- will show you a place that is the essence This is the deeper significance of the remaining ever subject to the deficien- brated life: the first event of Avraham’s of your own self, a place that lies beyond words “your land, your birthplace, and cies and limitations of the human state. life described in detail by the Torah the land, birthplace, and father’s house your father’s house” in G-d’s call to While it may surmount the confines of occurred when he was 75 years old! that you know. Avraham. “Eretz,” the Hebrew word for the inborn and the impressed, the intel- By that time, Avraham was able to look lect is, ultimately, never truly free of the back upon a lifetime of fruitful—indeed ego and its prejudices. unprecedented—achievement. As a But there is a higher self to man, a self young child, his inquisitive mind dis- free of all that defines and confines the cerned a greater truth implicit in the After rejecting your negative, idolatrous human. This is the spark of G-dliness that workings of the universe, and he came to is the core of his soul—the Divine know the One G-d. A lone man pitted essence that G-d breathed into him, the against the entire world, he battled the origins, you must now also transcend image of G-d in which he was created. entrenched pagan perversity of his time, This is the eretz that G-d promised to bringing many to a life of monotheistic your positive and gainful past. show Avraham. belief and morality. (This explains the order in which the But then came an event of such signif- terms “land,” “birthplace,” and “father’s icance that it eclipsed the first seven and house” appear in the verse. When a per- a half decades of Avraham’s life, an event son embarks on a journey, he first leaves that marked the forging of a new phe- Instinct, Environment, And Reason “land” and “earth,” is etymologically relat- his [father’s] home, then departs from his nomenon—the Jew—and redefined the The countless factors involved in mak- ed to the word “ratzon,” “will” and city [birthplace], and only then leaves the journey of life. ing us what we are can be generalized “desire”; so “your land” also translates as borders of his land; yet in our verse this The event was G-d’s call to Avraham to under three categories: the natural, the “your natural desires.” Your birthplace— “Go to you from your land, from your impressed, and the acquired. moladtecha—is a reference to the influ- Continued on Page 42

5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES October 30, 2009 39 40 October 30, 2009 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES October 30, 2009 41 FROM THE CHASSIDIC MASTERS Continued from Page 39 order is reversed. According to the deeper meaning of these terms, however, the order is accurate: first a person departs from his base instincts via his education and environmental influences; these, in turn, are overruled by his faculty for objective reasoning; finally, he is called upon to transcend even his rational self in his journey to the Divine essence of his soul.) In his journey of discovery, Avraham must obviously leave the land, birthplace, and father’s house of his native Mesopotamia; he must obviously reject the pagan culture of Ur Casdim and Charan. But this is not the departure of which we are speaking in the above-quot- ed verse. For Avraham received this call many years after he had renounced the pagan ways of his family and birthplace, recognized G-d, and had a profound impact on his society. Still he is told: Go! Depart from your nature, depart from your habits, depart from your rational self. After rejecting your negative, idolatrous origins, you must now also transcend your positive and gainful past. Reach beyond your self, albeit a perfected self. Human perfection is simply not enough, because anything human—even the objective, transcendent intellect—is still part and parcel of the created reality, ever subject to and defined by it. Yet G-d invites us, in His first command to the first Jew, to experience that which tran- scends all limit and definition: himself. But first we must “go to you.” Go away from your finite self, to come to the you that only G-d can show you—the you that is one with Him. O

Based on the teachings of the Lubavitcher Rebbe; adapted by Yanki Tauber. Courtesy of MeaningfulLife.com via Chabad.org. Find more Torah articles for the whole family at www.chabad.org/parshah.

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42 October 30, 2009 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES October 30, 2009 43 Synagogue Leadership Training and be delivered by NCYI Director of Education Program. This event is sched- Synagogue Services Rabbi Mordechai uled for Sunday, November 8, at the Roizman. For more information, e-mail Young Israel of New Rochelle in NCYI Director of Synagogue Services Westchester. Registration begins at 9:45 Rabbi Mordechai Roizman at mroizman@ a.m., and the program will commence at youngisrael.org. 10:00 a.m. The opening session will be Fall Festival Honoring the Neshei “Legal Issues in Your Synagogue— Chayil of the Young Israel Movement. ‘Living In The Public Eye,’ Libby Steier, are looking forward to greet- Including Accounting Oversight,” present- This event will take place on Sunday, November 14 ing all guests at what promises to be a ed by NCYI President Shlomo Z. November 15 at 10:00 a.m., at the Great The Yeshiva of Far Rockaway is sched- most exciting and stimulating event. O Mostofsky, Esq. That will be followed by Neck Synagogue, 26 Old Mill Road in uled to hold its annual evening lecture breakout sessions, during which atten- Great Neck. For information, or if you hosted by the Futersaks on November 14 N ational Council Of Young Israel dees can choose from one of the follow- would like to attend this event, please e- at 8:00 p.m. A most interesting and News And Events ing programs: “Homeland Security mail NCYI Director of Programming informative evening is planned, featuring Rabbinic Training Program. Supervised Grants: The Application Process,” present- Rebbetzin Judi Steinig at jsteinig@ two noted guest speakers: Rabbi Dr. Aron by NCYI Director of Rabbinic Services ed by David Pollock, director of govern- youngisrael.org. Twerski, professor of law, and Mr. Abba Rabbi Binyamin Hammer, participants in ment relations, Jewish Community Annual Awards Dinner. The Council of Cohen, director and counsel of Agudath the program, which is scheduled to begin Relations Council of New York; “Building Young Israel Rabbis in Israel and the Israel of America. Sam and Meryl in November, will benefit from specific a Solid Volunteer Core,” presented by International Young Israel Movement- Futersak, renowned hosts of this annual training and reference materials, direct Executive Vice President Rabbi Pesach Israel Region has scheduled their Annual event for the past 20 years, famously observation and hands-on experience, Lerner; and “Web Tools to Optimize Awards Dinner for 6:30 p.m. on indulge attendees with a magnificent and full service placement and mentor- Communications and Other Ways to Wednesday, December 30 at the Jeru- selection of delicious food and drinks. ing. The Rabbinic Training Program will Mass-Market Your Synagogue,” presented salem Great Synagogue. If you will be vis- Please support the yeshiva by becom- cover a multitude of topics, including the by NCYI Chief Operating Officer Chaim iting Israel and wish to attend, or would ing a sponsor of this wonderful evening. Jewish life cycle, kashrus, kiruv, counsel- Leibtag. The breakout sessions will be fol- like more information, e-mail Daniel For more information, call 718-327-7600 or ing, and contemporary Jewish issues. For lowed by a presentation by Rabbi Pesach Meyer at [email protected]. O e-mail [email protected]. The evening’s more information, contact Rabbi Lerner entitled “Fundraising in Tough chairladies, Mrs. Esther Samuels and Mrs. Hammer at [email protected]. Economic Times.” Closing remarks will New Grant Encourages Lawyers To Help Victims Of Domestic Violence Availability of legal resources is an important factor in the reduction of domestic violence, according to a 2002 study by economists at Colgate and the University of Arkansas. Yet in Nassau County there is a backlog of victims of domestic violence and sexual assault in need of legal services; dozens who have sought divorces have had to wait nearly a year to obtain assistance with their civil legal problems. To help improve this situation, the Nassau County Coalition Against Domestic Violence has created the Legal Resource Network, a new public-service initiative. The program is designed to recruit and train a network of attorneys willing to represent victims on a no-fee, pro bono basis. The network is funded by a federal grant secured through the work of Congresswoman Carolyn McCarthy. Congresswoman McCarthy brought the funding to the Coalition with the support of the entire Long Island congressional delegation, including Senators Charles E. Schumer and Kirsten Gillibrand and Congressmen Gary Ackerman, Peter T. King, and Steve Israel. This grant comes at an opportune time. New York’s Division of Criminal Justice has just reported that domestic- violence homicides increased by 7% statewide in 2008 and that intimate-partner homicides tripled. Half of all adult female homicide victims were killed by their intimate partner. With the American Bar Association sponsoring the first National Pro Bono Celebration, October 25–31, the network seeks to max- imize the volunteer spirit of attorneys to help address domestic violence. The Legal Resource Network’s project coordinator, Freda Wagner, brings a wealth of knowledge and experience with her.A Florida attorney for more than 30 years, Ms. Wagner is widely respected for her efforts in bringing together law-enforcement, legal, and social-service agencies to improve the quality of life for children and families. As division chief in the state attorney’s office, Wagner designed, implemented, and supervised both the Victims’ Rights Program and the Domestic Violence Program for the prosecutor’s office. 44 October 30, 2009 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES

New York attorneys who want to make Institute for the Family. a difference in someone’s life by making Participants will gain practical strate- a pro bono commitment to the Nassau gies for integrating a range of theoretical County Coalition Against Domestic perspectives and practices from different Violence should e-mail [email protected]. schools of therapy in a flexible, creative, Any resident of Nassau County who is a and purposeful way. The workshop repre- victim of domestic violence, rape, or sexual sents a unique educational opportunity assault can call the Nassau County that will provide invaluable insights and Coalition Against Domestic Violence’s 24- powerful approaches to restore hope and hour hotline, at 516-542-0404, for emergency create meaningful, sustainable change. safe housing and access to support services. Autism Conference in NYC. “Autism All coalition services are free of charge. O Spectrum Differences: Intervention and Support,” an educational conference for OHEL Upcoming Events For family members, advocates, and profes- Professionals And Parents sionals serving the autism community, Therapy Skills for High-Conflict is being sponsored by the Mel and Couples. Couples often seek the help of Phyllis Zachter Institute for Advanced mental-health professionals when con- Professional Education at Ohel. The flict is already intense and the relation- conference will provide a dynamic ship is very volatile. These are crucial forum to network and exchange infor- times, requiring the best approach from mation and ideas. the start. Cutting-edge clinical and research The Mel and Phyllis Zachter Institute findings will be presented by Rebecca for Advanced Professional Education at Landa, Ph.D., a nationally recognized Ohel has prepared a dynamic workshop researcher and educator. Dr. Landa is the entitled “The Therapeutic Palette: An director of the Center for Autism and integrative approach to therapy with Related Disorders at the Kennedy high-conflict couples.” Therapists in the Krieger Institute, associate professor at Greater New York area will have the Johns Hopkins University School of opportunity to learn a unique approach Medicine, and a lead investigator for the to couples therapy that will guide deci- National Institutes of Health. Her pres- sion-making throughout the treatment entation will provide up-to-date infor- process. mation regarding early signs of autism This full-day advanced skill-building and their implications for intervention, workshop is scheduled to take place and will broaden participants’ under- Wednesday, November 11 , at the Young standing of pragmatic language and Israel of Avenue K in Brooklyn and is to social communication. feature Peter Frankel, Ph.D., an interna- What is it like to live with Asperger’s tionally recognized couples therapist and syndrome? Internationally renowned theorist and the director of the Center for Work and Family at the Ackerman Continued on Page 46

5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES October 30, 2009 45 AROUND THE FIVE TOWNS tive vice president emeritus of the OU, Central Avenue in Cedarhurst. Admission welcomed by Rabbi Eitan Feiner. Seudas Continued from Page 45 entitled “After the Chuppah: Building a is free of charge with Kulanu family Shabbos was at the hosts’ homes fol- lasting marriage in a disposable world.” membership or $5 for nonmembers. lowed by a magnificent Oneg Shabbos at speaker, consultant, and author Liane The lecture will address the great expecta- Child care is available upon request. Pre- the Marton home. The dynamic duo, Holliday Willey, Ed.D., will provide tions parents have for their children who registration is requested by contacting Rozi and Morty Davis, entertained us invaluable insights based on her profes- are getting married and ways that couples Mark Hoffacker at 516-569-3083 ext. 136 or with hilarious stories of the early days of sional expertise and personal experience. can cope with the problems of the early [email protected]. the Five Towns and other humorous Professor Willey is a specialist in commu- stages of marriage in the Orthodox Jewish The next workshop, “Understanding experiences. Rabbi Dovid Weinberger, nications and learning style differences. community. Men and women are invited Your Team: Working with physical, occu- Mrs. Lori Palatnik, and Rabbi Chaim She is also the daughter and mother of to attend. pational, and speech therapists” is sched- Sampson shared divrei Torah and the individuals with Asperger’s syndrome, Since 1993, Shalom Task Force has uled for Wednesday, December 2. P.A.R.C. importance of doing kiruv. The night was and she has Asperger’s syndrome herself. been a leader in healthy marriage edu- is a division of Kulanu. O filled with laughter, singing, dancing, Her presentation will provide practical cation and programs that promote chulent, and kugel. recommendations for academic, emo- peaceful relationships among family Sailing On a RAFT For Shabbos We were back at the White Shul for a tional, and social supports that can members. Shalom Task Force maintains By Esti Stahler, Chaya Feldstein, and beautiful Shacharis including an inspir- enhance intervention and assistance for a hotline and offers extensive preven- Tania Hammer ing d’var Torah about the parashah by individuals on the autism spectrum. tive educational programs to youth, sin- It was Parashas Noach and we were Rabbi Eitan Feiner, followed by a commu- Group rates for schools and agencies, gles, and engaged couples. For more hoping to stem the tide of assimilation. If nity wide kiddush, and then Shabbos and limited scholarship assistance for information call 212-742-1478 or visit you could not make it onto the Ark, we lunch. Hosts and guests went home for families in need, will be available. The www.shalomtaskforce.org. O invited you aboard the RAFT—Rockaway another memorable meal. conference is scheduled to take place And Five Towns Kiruv Shabbaton, wel- Former minister Rabbi Gavriel Sanders 9:00 a.m.–4:00 p.m., Wednesday, Novem- How To Advocate For Your Child, coming Rabbi Yaakov and Lori Palatnik joined us at 5:00 for an inspiring lecture ber 18, at the Baruch College Newman November 11 and Rabbi Chaim Sampson from Aish about his journey to Judaism. Lori Conference Center in Manhattan. Do you know how to briefly tell your Hatorah and Project Inspire with family Palatnik spoke at the same time at the Advance registration for both of these child’s story? Do you know how to use and friends from the DC/Maryland and Urbach home about relationships. The events is required. Register online or this story when you ask for services? tri-state area. speeches were followed by a delicious learn more by visiting www.ohelfamily P.A.R.C., the Keren Eliana Parent Advocacy After weeks of preparation, Friday shalosh seudos for women. Brightly col- .org or by calling 718-851-6300. O and Resource Center, is presenting a morning finally arrived, and we were ored gerber daisies in red vases were on workshop by Maggie Hoffman, Director eagerly awaiting our guests to board the the tables in honor of the rainbow, which S halom Task Force Lecture In of Project DOCC (Delivery of Chronic RAFT. They arrived in Cedarhurst in time signaled Hashem’s promise never to bring Memory Of Pess Epstein, October 31 Care), on “How to Tell Your Story for pizza and Friday afternoon activity on the Mabul again. Rebbetzin Aviva Feiner Shalom Task Force is observing the sec- Effectively.” Ms. Hoffman is the parent of Central Avenue. They were greeted at the uplifted us, exploring a new meaning of ond yahrzeit of Mrs. Pess Epstein, a’h, on a child with special needs, and she has White Shul by their gracious hosts. There Mizmor L’David focusing on life’s chal- motzaei Shabbos, October 31, at 8:30 p.m. extensive experience in advocating for was a choice of a challah baking demon- lenges. A heavenly havdalah was led by at Lander College for Men (75-31 150th her child and helping prepare other par- stration or a tour of the Hatzalah build- Eli Levine on guitar accompanied by a Street, Kew Gardens Hills). Mrs. Epstein, a ents on how to tell their story and access ing. Guests were then driven home to get chorus of voices. founding member of Shalom Task Force, community resources. Effective parent ready for Shabbos. There was just about an hour of calm- was selflessly devoted to the organization advocates are good storytellers. Shabbos began at 5:45 and we were off ness aboard the RAFT before the tide for many years, until her passing. The lecture is scheduled for to a beautiful Carlebach Kabbalas turned toward a gala melaveh malkah at The observance will feature a lecture Wednesday, November 11, 7:30–9:00 p.m. Shabbos with Richie Hagler in the over- the Renov home, co-sponsored by by Rabbi Dr. Tzvi Hersh Weinreb, execu- at Kulanu Center for Special Services, 620 flowing White Shul. We were warmly kosher.com. Rebbitzen Esther Jungreis

46 October 30, 2009 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES enriched us with her memories and selves. They felt inspired and uplifted and Health Living, Inc.), is a cross-country col- can bathe and dress him, but it has to be words of Torah. Singing was led by our so did we. laboration with Lee Caplan, MD, PhD, a man, not a woman, and the local service talented kumzitz band followed with This kiruv Shabbaton, a joint effort of MPH (Morehouse School of Medicine, just doesn’t understand that.” “Mom ‘splash’ dancing way into the night. Rockaway and Five Towns and the ‘Ohel Atlanta), Mendel E. Singer, PhD (Case would love to go to the local senior cen- The water surrounding the RAFT slow- Sara’ Amen Group; Project Inspire and School of Medicine, Principal Invest- ter, but the food there isn’t kosher.” “The ly receded; the sun came out early Rabbi Sampson; Aish Hatorah and Lori igator, Cleveland), and Ephraim Shapiro, visiting nurse really caused a problem for Sunday morning as we began our day at Palatnik; and our friends and families, MPA, MPhil (Columbia University, New us when she came to check on Uncle the Ohel Sarah Amen Group, hearing showed us how a vision can become a York). All are volunteers motivated by the Chaim over yom tov. She turned off the both our visitors and our regulars saying reality. Each of us with our own unique issue and the opportunity to apply their light in the bathroom, and we didn’t “amen” b’achdus. This was followed by a talents, warmth, and dedication can par- skills for the k’lal. notice until after she left.” delectable breakfast and an enlightening ticipate in kiruv whether it be by inviting For the survey to have true value, “I think this study should be publi- lecture about being an Orthodox Jew by an entire community or just one guest to however, the input of the Torah-obser- cized widely to generate the largest possi- Rabbi Lawrence Keleman. our table, or getting involved in Project vant caregiver is vital. If you are a care- ble participation,” notes the esteemed When we thought the waters were Inspire. We can all make a difference in giver, or know of one, please visit Rabbi Yechezkel Pikus, executive director calming, a fresh spring of tears began to someone’s life, sending a life raft to a http://tinyurl.com/yk8b3r2 to complete of the Council of Jewish Organizations of flow as the Monsey Trails bus pulled up neshamah. O the survey online (conducted by survey Flatbush. “This is important.” and our guests stepped off the RAFT monkey.com), or call Rabbi Reuven The challenges are colossal and ongo- leaving us, but taking with them boat- A Call To Caregivers Becker at 718-300-0234 to complete by ing. To further assist caregivers, Rabbi loads of memories, friendships, and Much has been written and researched phone, or e-mail him at LOYcenter@ Becker has authored an English sefer, inspiration which will infuse them for a regarding the plight and burden of the yahoo.com or Dr. Mendel Singer at Mitzvas Kibud Av V’Eim: A Compendium long time to come. family caregiver. National studies have [email protected] to receive the sur- For Adult Children, and has a forthcoming This Shabbos was the beginning of a been conducted and legislation has been vey link. Results will be used to advo- book scheduled to be released next new program of unity and achdus passed to help address the well-docu- cate for needed community services to month, You Are Your Parents’ Keeper: among K’lal Yisrael! Everyone was mented concerns. support caregivers. Responses are com- Hashkafic and Halachic Insights into amazed and impressed by our wonderful But does the frum community have pletely confidential. Eldercare and Kibud Av V’Aim. Rockaway and Five Towns community special needs? Does the obligation of “The significance of this project was For additional information call 718-300- and by the sincere dedication of those kiyum mitzvas kibud av v’eim place an validated by a simple telephone call I 0234 or e-mail [email protected]. O who worked hard to show others the additional layer of pressure on the adult made to a friend just this Sunday morn- beauty of Shabbos. children and grandchildren? Does adher- ing,” observes Rabbi Becker. “I barely From Kaifeng To Kibbutz We thought we were giving but we ence to laws of tzeniyus and other had a chance to say hello, when he cut For the first time, a group of seven realized how much we were receiving. halachic practices limit the use of exist- me off and said ‘Reuven, I’m sorry, I can’t young adults, all of whom are descen- We heard precious stories of people ing support services? talk to you right now [breathing heavily dants of the ancient Jewish community yearning for the peace and connections These are among the questions that a from frustration and anxiety]. I’m total- of Kaifeng, China, has moved to Israel. that Shabbos brings . Our guests saw that brief survey being conducted by a team of ly exhausted. I spent the entire Shabbos The group, which arrived in Israel last they can turn off cell phones for 25 hours researchers, themselves shomrei Torah in the hospital with my mother. I just week, was brought by the Shavei Israel and “turn on” to a world of peace, unity, u’mitzvos, of the challenges and demands got back. Call me back later.’ And he organization, which recently received and Torah. They saw how we were able to of caregivers for parents, grandparents, hung up.” special permission from Israel’s Interior meld our lives in the outside world with in-laws, or others in the Orthodox Jewish Concerns that this survey addresses Ministry for this group of immigrants the powerful and serene inner world of community is designed to answer. The are reflected by anecdotal experiences after negotiating with the government Judaism. They understood it can be done study, initiated by Rabbi Reuven Becker, across the spectrum of Jewish religious by people not so different from them- MBA, MS (L’Orech Yomim/Center for observance. “Dad needs someone who Continued on Page 48

5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES October 30, 2009 47 AROUND THE FIVE TOWNS quently renovated and rebuilt on Continued from Page 47 numerous occasions throughout the centuries. At its peak, during the Ming for the past two years. Dynasty (1368–1644), the Kaifeng Jewish The Interior Ministry agreed to issue community may have numbered as one-year entry permits to the seven many as 5,000 people. young adults, during which time they But widespread intermarriage and will study Hebrew at a kibbutz ulpan and assimilation, as well as the death of the then undergo formal conversion to community’s last rabbi, brought about its Judaism. demise by the middle of the 19th century. “I am very excited to be here in the Nevertheless, many of the families Holy Land,” said Yaakov Wang, 23, one of sought to preserve their Jewish identity the new immigrants. “This is something and pass it down to their descendants, that my ancestors dreamed about for who continued to observe various generations, and now thank G-d I have Jewish customs. finally made it.” Wang added that he Currently, there are estimated to be eventually hopes to become a rabbi, so approximately 1,000 Jewish descendants that one day he can help other Kaifeng in Kaifeng. “In recent years, many mem- Jewish descendants to learn more about bers of the community have begun to their heritage. explore their heritage—mainly thanks to “This is a historic event,” said Shavei The group of Kaifeng Jews arriving in Israel. the Internet, which opened up new Israel chairman Michael Freund, who worlds for them and provided access to organized the immigration campaign and information about Judaism and Israel greeted the seven immigrants from that was previously inaccessible to Kaifeng at Ben Gurion airport outside Tel them,” Freund noted. Aviv. “Kaifeng’s Jewish descendants are a Shavei Israel is a non-profit organiza- living link between China and the Jewish tion founded by Michael Freund, who people, and it is very moving to see the immigrated to Israel from the United remnants of this community returning to States, with the aim of strengthening ties their roots.” between the State of Israel and the descen- Scholars believe the first Jews settled dants of Jews around the world. in Kaifeng, which was one of China’s The organization is currently active in imperial capitals, during the 8th or 9th nine countries and provides assistance to a century. They are said to have been variety of different communities such as merchants from Persia or Iraq who the Bnei Menashe of India, the Bnai made their way eastward along the Silk Anousim in Spain, Portugal, and South Route and established themselves in America, the Subbotnik Jews of Russia, the PhotosByMichaelF the city, with the blessing of the Jewish community of Kaifeng in China, the Chinese emperor. “Hidden Jews” of Poland from the In 1163, Kaifeng’s Jews built a large and Holocaust era, and others. For more infor- r beautiful synagogue, which was subse- eund mation visit www.shavei.org. O

48 October 30, 2009 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES

Three Generations Of Avodas Hashem, Ahavas Torah, And Kedushas Yerushalayim The history of Toldos Avrohom Yitzchok began with the holy tzaddik, HaAdmor Reb Aharon Roth zt’l, known by the name of his famous sefer, the Shomer Emunim. Reb Ahrele, as he was affection- ately known, was a talmid of the fore- most tzaddikim of his time, R’ Tzvi Elimelech Shapiro of Bluzhev, R’ Yissocher Dov Rokeach of Belz, and the Ahavas Yisroel of Viznitz, from whom he absorbed his fiery avodas Hashem. In 1924, Reb Aaron established Kehilas Yirey Hashem, in the city of Satmar, Romania, with a select group of pious talmidei chachamim who gathered around him striving to serve Hashem with their entire being and achieve spiritual greatness. In 5688 (1928), Reb Aharon moved to Eretz Yisrael for four years. There he established a large kehillah which adopt- ed his elevated approach to avodas Hashem. Shomer Emunim. In 5693 (1933), Reb Aharon founded a kehillah called Shomer Emunim (Keepers of the Faith) in Satmar, continuing his tradition of an all-consum- ing avodas Hashem. The practice of saying amen out loud is one of the hallmarks of the community. When the Nazis took control of Romania in 1936, Reb Aharon left Romania and established the kehillah in the city of Beregsaz, Hungary. As the Germans were taking control of Hungary in 1944, with Hashem’s help Reb Aharon escaped with his family and reached Eretz Yisrael. In Yerushalayim, Jews from Hungary and many old Yerushalmis flocked to Reb Aharon and joined with the existing kehillah which he had established in 1928. With the distinctive Yerushalmi garb of its members, the kehillah blended the kedusha and taharah of “Yerushalayim shel ma’alah” with Reb Aharon’s fiery brand of Yiddishkeit, flourishing as the bastion of chassidus and avodas Hashem in the Ir Hakodesh. When Reb Aharon passed away in 5707 (1947) at the age of 53, he was at the helm of the largest chassidic court in Eretz Yisrael. Toldos Aharon. After the passing of Reb Aharon, HaAdmor Reb Avrohom Yitzchok Hakohen Kohn, zt’l , the son-in-law of Reb Aharon, continued with this approach in avodah . He built a large beis midrash in the Meah Shearim neighborhood, nam- ing it Toldos Aharon, and attracted many more followers. Reb Avrohom Yitzchok was a great tzaddik in his own right, transmitting his strong ahavas Torah and ahavas Hashem to his followers.. The Toldos Aharon community became world famous for maintaining the highest standards of Torah and kedushah. Toldos Avrohom Yitzchok. After Reb Avrohom Yitzchok’s passing in 5756 (1996), many chassidim of the Toldos Aharon community, including many Torah scholars, gathered around his eldest son, HaAdmor Reb Shmuel Yaakov Hakohen Kohn, shlita. They gathered to seek his guidance in avodas Hashem. The new Rebbe assumed his father’s position, renaming the growing community Toldos Avrohom Yitzchok after the late Rebbe. He continued the tradition of his

Continued on Page 52 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES October 30, 2009 49 50 October 30, 2009 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES October 30, 2009 51 AROUND THE FIVE TOWNS lowed many of the customs of the Imrei Continued from Page 49 Chaim. Everyone who experiences the exalted and beautiful atmosphere of his illustrious father and grandfather to per- Shabbos tisch gains a new understand- sonally supervise the ruchniyus of his ing of the kedushah of Shabbos. This is chassidim and to constantly raise their evident in thousands of homes around level in Torah and yiras shamayim the world where the Rebbe’s avodah has b’derech Yisrael saba. permeated the Shabbos atmosphere. At The Rebbe, shlita, is a talmid muvhak every tisch and Simchas Beis HaShoevah of The Imrei Chaim of Vishnitz. He fol- of the Rebbe one can see chassidim,

The Toldos Avrohom Yitzchak Rebbe, shlita, speaking with Rabbi Yosef Sholom Elyashiv, shlita.

Litvishe, yeshivishe, and modern raised according to the ancient traditions Orthodox, blending together by the of Yerushalayim and the exacting stan- warmth and charisma which radiates dards of Reb Aharon, the Toldos Avrohom from the Rebbe. Yitzchok Rebbe established an extensive The Mosdos of Toldos Avrohom network of educational institutions Cheder in session in the Toldos Avrohom Yitzchak community. Yitzchok. To ensure that their children are including yeshivos gedolos which are considered among the most prominent in Eretz Yisrael. There are yeshivas and Talmud Torahs in Yerushalayim and Beit Shemesh. The crown of the institutions are five kollels for avreichim to enable them to reach the highest levels in Torah and avodah. The organizations of Toldos Avrohom Yitzchok have received enthusiastic endorsements of some of the most prominent and respected gedolim of K’lal Yisrael including Rav Elyashiv, shlita. Over 1,000 children and bachurim are being educated under the personal guidance of the Rebbe, shlita, and will b”h grow up to be a pride for K’lal Yisrael. The large beis midrash of the kehillah is a center for Torah and tefillah, with a resound- ing kol Torah heard day and night. The young boys of the kehillah reflect the purity in which they are raised. The Rebbe has also taken on the additional burden of maintaining a soup kitchen in Meah Shearim, which is open for any Jew who is hungry to avail themselves of hot nutritious meals. Sefer Torah shorui b’tzaar! Due to the unfortunate economic situation, the institutions are now experiencing a crushing financial crisis which threatens their very existence. Never before have they experienced such a severe financial crisis. They are simply unable to meet the most basic expenses including utili- ties, salaries for the devoted staff, not to mention hot lunches for poverty-strick- en students. This dire financial situation weighs heavily on the Rebbe, who takes personal responsibility for the operation of the institutions. To literally save them, he has embarked on a worldwide mission of hatzalah. The Rebbe is asking all members of K ’lal Yisrael who appreciate the level of kedushah they have so painstakingly developed for 80 years, to generously assist these worthy institutions to continue to spread kedushah throughout the world. The Rebbe is scheduled to visit the Five Towns next week (Parashas Vayeira). To arrange a personal meeting with the Rebbe, call R’ Menachem at 347- 522-7242. For more details of the visit, see Page 6. O 52 October 30, 2009 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES The Mosholu Rebbe’s Upcoming Five Towns’ Visit, October 30-31 The Five Towns community is greatly looking forward to welcoming Rabbi Usher Mordechai Rosenbaum, known as the Mosholu Rebbe, this weekend, Parashas Lech Lecha. The Rebbe, aside from being a notable oveid Hashem, has dedicated his mission to be at the forefront of chinuch habanim. Having been a devoted magid shiur and having experienced firsthand many of the shortcomings of our education sys-

tem in the Boro Park community, he school—a school where some of the resolved to set up a school that would greatest metzuyanim are proud to attend. address the problems so prevalent among His school is also known for extending our youth in the hopes of preventing fur- an open door and a helping hand to the ther shalom bayis issues. He built up a phenomenal boys Continued on Page 54

5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES October 30, 2009 53 AROUND THE FIVE TOWNS hood into adulthood. This inspirational Continued from Page 53 film aired on PBS and has been viewed around the world. It sheds light on the underprivileged student. He has become inner experience of people who stutter. the Rebbe to many underprivileged fami- The film will be shown on Sunday, lies that have not been able to access the November 8, 7:00–9:00 p.m. at the JCC of elite mosdos within our society, and he the Greater Five Towns, 207 Spruce Street has opened a door to them. Families on in Cedarhurst. On Sunday, November 22, the brink of being destroyed due to a par- the film will be shown 7:00–9:00 p.m. at ent’s irresponsibility have been given a Whitehall, 3333 Henry Hudson Parkway new chance by the Rebbe and his school. in Riverdale. Discussion will follow. Open Whether from Lakewood or to teens and adults who stutter and their Williamsburg, they can feel at home at families. For more details or to reserve a this makom chesed. seat, e-mail [email protected]. The Rebbe is a descendant of the Uri Schneider, MA, CCC-SLP, and Phil Nadvorna family and his shver is the cur- Schneider, EdD, CCC-SLP, are partners in rent Kalover Rebbe in Williamsburg. Schneider Speech Pathology, specializing The community is invited to attend a in stuttering, voice, learning, and public Friday night tisch at 8:30 p.m. at the home speaking. They have offices in Lawrence, of Mr. and Mrs. Alex Edelman, 49 Kew Gardens Hills, and Riverdale. O Lawrence Avenue. Kabbalas Shabbos will take place at 5:45 p.m. at Bais Avraham Ohel’s Sunday In Cedarhurst Zev, 2 Rockaway Turnpike. Minchah and TeamOhel runners provide sports fun Runners from TeamOHEL spent Sunday afternoon at HAFTR High School, providing fun Shalosh Seudos will take place at 5:25 p.m. for kids with disabilities before the big and games for children with developmental disabilities from OHEL Bais Ezra day camps. at the Guttmans’ shul, 48 Lawrence race. On October 25, TeamOHEL runners Avenue. provided an afternoon of sports fun at An inspirational melaveh malkah, fea- HAFTR High School for children with turing stories, zemiros, and an opportuni- developmental disabilities from Ohel ty to meet the Rebbe privately at the Bais Ezra’s Sunday Recreation Respite home of Mr. and Mrs. Mayer Futersak (23 Program. TeamOHEL runners are helping Park Circle Lane in Cedarhurst) will begin to raise funds for Ohel Bais Ezra’s year- at 9:00 p.m. The Rebbe will be available round camp programs. Runners in atten- for private appointments. Please call 516- dance were Tamar Sicklick, Elly Libin, 776-9244 for more information. O David Borg, David Ottensoser, Wallace Gottleib, and Mordechi Bodek. ‘Transcending Stuttering,’ Activities were led by noted autism fit- November 8 ness therapist Eric Chessen and, together Transcending Stuttering, a documen- with TeamOHEL runners, the children tary film by Uri Schneider and Phil enjoyed and participated in relay races, Schneider, follows the lives of seven peo- basketball games, and obstacle courses. ple who stutter, as they grow from child- While the activities enriched the day for

54 October 30, 2009 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES processing machines available, some chil- Terrace (Fifth Avenue and 29th Street in dren could not be processed. Parents can Manhattan). contact their local police station to Proceeds of the evening will benefit obtain a safety card. the HASC Summer Program. To learn Ohel thanks the sponsors: David’s more about the event, or to sponsor or Pizza, Action Studios Photography & participate in the event, please visit Video, Dimples, Little People www.hasc.net/redcarpet or contact HASC Entertainment, Owl Art Center, and at 718-686-5920 or grant.silverstein@ Touch of Class Entertainment. hasc.net. O Ohel Children’s Home and Family Services, which incorporates Bais Ezra and JLI For Teens At The Lifetime Care Foundation, is a pio- Chabad Of The Five Towns neering social services agency that delivers The JLI Course for Teens, which began a breadth of innovative programs and serv- on October 18 at Chabad of the Five ices for individuals and families at risk, Towns, was an immediate success. and individuals with developmental or Eighteen students explored real-life psychiatric disabilities, in both residential issues that tested their courage and chal- and outpatient settings. O lenged their instincts. They learned how to find meaningful solutions for everyday HASC Red Carpet Premiere, problems. Rabbi Meir Geisinsky, Youth Barry Horowitz (OHEL Long Island Office), Assemblyman Dov Hikind, and Andrew Bornstein shows his November 11 Director for Chabad of the Five Towns, Rachel Marks, an OHEL Board Member SafeChild Card. The HASC Alumni and Young taught the teens about moral challenges who helped organize the event. Leadership Division invites everyone to and secular rights versus the Torah’s per- join hundreds of young professionals for spective on responsibility. on important feedback received from the an evening filled with food, fun, and Rory Lipsky, age 13, who is a participant the kids, the day additionally served to many parents who share their concerns. music at the HASC Red Carpet Premiere said, “The class was amazing. I learned help break the runners’ tension before Due to overwhelmingly high turnout on November 11 at 7:00 p.m. The event is the marathon on Sunday, November 1. of families and the limited number of to be held at the Midtown Loft and Continued on Page 56 TeamOHEL, which now comprises 13 dedicated runners, has been sponsored by a number of companies, including Burgers Bar, Barock Orchestra, Signature Bank, Cravingz, and Fitwize 4 Kids. A pre- marathon pasta party, sponsored by Joel Baruch of Cravingz, will be held this motzaei Shabbos for the runners. Ohel is extremely grateful for a dedicated team that has built a wonderful and supportive community. Please visit www.teamohel.org and support the TeamOHEL today! Hundreds of Long Island families attend Ohel’s fingerprinting for kids. Over 400 families attended Ohel’s Fingerprinting for Kids, a mini-fair to help keep kids safe, held last Sunday in Cedarhurst. The event, which was sponsored by Ohel in partnership with the Office of the Nassau County District Attorney, drew families and their young children from throughout the area. When emergencies happen or a child goes missing, it is vital for the police and other officials to have as much precise identifying information immediately available about the child as possible. At Ohel’s mini-fair, free ID cards were processed by the district attorney’s office, providing greater peace of mind for families. The local Fingerprinting for Kids was an idea of Rachel Marks, an Ohel board member, and Ohel gratefully thanks Rachel for spearheading this highly successful effort. Many other local Ohel board members were also in attendance, including Ben Englander, Fred Schulman, Louis Libin, and Avi Pifko. Showing their support were also many of the Long Island families for Ohel, including Yonina Wind, Aliza Solomon, and Tamar Sicklick—who is running the NYC marathon this year as part of TeamOHEL. In addition to this valuable safety initiative, children enjoyed an afternoon of family fun, featuring live music, arcade games, face-painting, balloons, and cot- ton candy and other snacks. Paula Simmonds, development director, noted that such local events not only allow Ohel to render a valued community service, but raise the general awareness of child safety issues, further the community conversation, and enable Ohel to act 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES October 30, 2009 55 AROUND THE FIVE TOWNS someone, but according to Torah law, you Supporting Torah In Bnei Brak Continued from Page 55 are required to save someone.” This six-week course runs on consecu- that the Torah tells you that you have to tive Sundays, 10:45 a.m.–12:00 p.m., and is go to any extent to save someone’s life, held at the Chabad Center. For more even if it is on Shabbat. We learned that information or to sign up, please call in society, you have the option to save Rabbi Geisinsky at 516-295-2478, ext. 19. O

Rav Eliyahu Mann, Rosh Kollel of Bais Hillel of Bnei Brak, came to New York to raise vital funds for the kollel, which is well known for its advanced level of Torah scholarhip. The event was hosted by Mr. Dovid Friedman. L–R: Mr. Friedman; Rabbi Eitan Feiner, Rav of Congregation Kneseth Israel (The White Shul); Mr. Alex Edelman, sponsor of Keren for Limud Mishnayos of Kollel Bais Hillel in memory of his mother, Mrs. Rose Edelman, a’h; Rav Mann; and Rabbi Dovid Weinberger, Rav of Cong. Shaaray Tefila. Teenagers learn about the value of life vs. the value of material possessions.

IDF Hero Speaks At Rambam The students sat glued to their seats as Sgt. Benjamin Anthony, an Orthodox member of the IDF and founder of Our Soldiers Speak, depicted in detail his experience behind enemy lines and his involvement in Operation Cast Lead. It was “the greatest form of ahavas Yisrael I have ever wit- nessed,” said Sgt. Anthony. “After coming under a barrage of enemy fire and all I can think of was who will tell my parents that I didn’t make it, my three secular mates jumped in front of me, returned fire, and carried me out of harm’s way. Only a great people like Am Yisrael can risk their own lives for a fellow without a second thought.” The crowd was also reminded of a grueling reality when he challenged them to stand up if their house, neighborhood, or country had been hit by a missile in the last five years. As expected, everyone remained seated and he reminded all that while we all live in comfortable communities, we must be mindful of acheinu kol Beis Yisrael who are not as fortunate and we must provide support to the IDF who are defending our brothers in those areas. Sgt. Anthony spoke about the great care Tzahal takes to limit civilian casual- ties. He spoke about the many occasions when the Israeli soldiers put their own lives at risk, sometimes even withholding fire so as not to injure noncombatants who are serving as human shields for Hamas terrorists. Despite Israel’s extraordinary humani- tarian efforts, the world media has inces- santly characterized Israel as an aggressor that wantonly tramples on Palestinian rights. “You have no idea how Palestinians on campus have gained the upper hand in the public-relations arena,” said Sgt. Anthony, who goes from campus to campus raising awareness on what really goes on “behind media lines” and encouraging Jews around the world to support this ongoing fight, aimed not only at Israel but at the Jewish nation as a whole. He implored the students to educate themselves on the history of Israel so they can answer what they read in the papers and refute anti-Israel accusations.

Continued on Page 58 56 October 30, 2009 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES October 30, 2009 57 AROUND THE FIVE TOWNS Continued from Page 56 He mentioned how, unfortunately, many times the Jewish audience, in an attempt to avoid confrontation, will not defend Israel, while Palestinian participants will come prepared and armed with questions, strong opinions, and condemna- tions. “We need your support! Stand up for K’lal Yisrael, get organized, and let us fight this enemy together!” said Anthony. When he asked for those that want to help to stand up, everyone rose in unison. For more information about Our Soldiers Speak or to help Sgt. Anthony spread his message, please e-mail ben- [email protected] or visit www.oursoldiersspeak.org. O

Youth From Russia Enjoy Shabbaton In Connecticut For 100 Jewish youth from the former Soviet Union, many of them students, Shabbos Bereishis was an opportunity to plant deeper roots in their commitment to Judaism. The occasion was a Shabbaton sponsored by the Russian American Jewish Experience (RAJE) of Gateways and Horizons/Eternal Jewish Family (EJF) at the Stamford Hilton. From the inspirational song and dance at Kabbalas Shabbos led by Rabbi Avrumi Jordan to the moving havdalah by Rabbi Yisroel Cherns, it was an important Shabbos in the lives of the youth. For RAJE, this was a key event in their ongoing programs for youngsters from the former Soviet Union. Every Sunday nearly 400 youth gather in Brooklyn for several hours of lectures and programming. The change in the youngsters, say the devoted mentors who are part of Gateways, “is nothing less than sensational.” For Horizons/EJF this was the next chapter in an aggressive new partnership with kiruv organizations that in addition to Gateways includes Ohr Somayach, Arachim, Lev Le’achim, Hidabroot, and Nefesh Yehudi. Similar seminars have been held in cities throughout Israel, in Baden, Austria and Odessa, Ukraine. It is part of a program to assure that youth build strong Jewish ties, most importantly by marrying Jewish. The EJF/Horizons message was delivered by Menachem Lubinsky, who intro- duced the program, Rabbi Doron Kornbluth, author of Why Marry Jewish, who painted a picture of how crucial it was to marry Jewish and Rabbi Leib Tropper, the rosh yeshiva of Kol Yaakov/Horizons and chairman of the EJF Rabbinic Committee, who pleaded with the youth “not to abandon our ancient tradition and our Father in Heaven.” Many of the sessions involved the youth interacting with an impressive slate of world-renowned lecturers, including Rabbi Jonathan Rietti, Rabbi Mordechai Suchard, Rabbi Mordechai Becher, and Rabbi Reuven Ibragimov. “This historic partnership between Gateways and Horizons/EJF is destined to have a major impact in our efforts to stem the tide of assimilation,” said Rabbi Suchard, the executive director of Gateways. “We are delighted to partner with organizations like Gateways in helping them extend their important message of kiruv to assure Jewish continuity by encouraging the Jewish youth to marry Jewish,” said Rabbi Tropper. Following the Shabbaton, the two organizations announced plans for many other similar programs in the future. O 58 October 30, 2009 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES His blessing.” Sure enough, the business thrived. Divorcées, Agunos, And Orphans The Malbim arose, entered the other When she returned to pay the Malbim his room, and returned with 100 rubles. He profits he returned them to her to invest B Y RABBI YAIR HOFFMAN them steals from Hashem Himself. gave her the money, saying, “Here is my further in the business. Some of our greatest leaders and rab- share in our partnership.” She took the The punishment for abusing these There has been, unfortunately, a prolif- bis have demonstrated exactly how this money in tears. The Malbim feigned people is also most severe. The Chayei eration of divorces in recent times. While mitzvah should be approached. When the Adam (Klal 143) writes that those that do the causes of this phenomenon are Malbim took a position as the rav of the so incur the penalty of misah biydei important to discover, it is also important city of Mohilov (see Torah UMitzvah 29), Shamayim—a Heavenly decree of death. to remember the relevant mitzvos as well. he made a special effort to seek out and One should treat The Midrash Shir HaShirim Zutah (1) The divorces occurring now run the assist the poor and helpless. He was relates that Hashem says, “You did not lis- full gamut—from newlywed couples of a approached by a woman who was in them respectfully ten to Me to do charitable acts with few months, to those that have been severe trouble and on her own. She was orphans and widows? I shall show you together for two years, and even to cou- in tears and did not know what to do or and one should be that there is no man that does not have ples with numerous children and/or how to support herself. orphans and a widow.” grandchildren. The Malbim asked her, “Do you know more concerned for In conclusion, the lot of such people is During a divorce, men clearly have a any handiwork at all?” She responded, their money and most difficult. They have no one to rely distinct advantage over women in our “Yes, rebbi. I know how to make latkes. upon except HaKadosh Baruch Hu. We communities, since the man must write My latkes can be served upon the tables funds than his own. must make every effort to help them, no the get, and he might decide to make out- of kings. If I had the necessary funds, I matter what stage they find themselves rageous demands before doing so. It is would rent a large apartment, I would in—pre-divorce or divorced. While we unfortunate that we often hear of men purchase the finest flour, oil, and raw must be careful not to take sides in a who demand huge sums of money just to ingredients, and I would make a business shock and said, “If you cry, I will with- divorce dispute, this does not mean that grant their wives a get. in latkes.” draw from the partnership. Hashem does we cannot lend help and assistance to a People should not take sides in a mari- “If so,” responded the Malbim, “I shall not place his blessing in a venture unless daughter of Avraham, Yitzchak, and tal dispute. Only an impartial beis din that be your partner in this venture. I will sup- there is joy found there. Go in peace, Yaakov when she desperately needs it. O has heard both sides should get involved ply the money, you supply the labor, and launch the business, and Hashem will The author can be reached at in these issues. This does not mean, how- the Holy One Blessed Be He will supply assist you.” [email protected]. ever, that one should not help people out, both during and after a divorce. The mitzvah of v’ahavta l’reiacha kamocha and related mitzvos surely still apply. Negative mitzvos associated with divorce include the mitzvah not to mistreat widows and orphans (Sh’mos 22:21). The Ibn Ezra includes within this mitzvah the prohibition of mistreating divorcées as well. The extension is borne out in the Rashi on this verse, as he states that the prohibition is inclusive of others; it is just that the mistreatment is more common in regard to widows and orphans. Rabbeinu Bachya, in his introduction to Parashas VaYaishev (Bereishis 37), teach- es that the pasuk singles out widows and orphans because their spirits are deject- ed, their tears are common, and people often mistreat and abuse them. What a horrific indictment of society! But the words of Rabbeinu Bachya also clearly apply to divorcées and agunos. Indeed, one might suggest that in contemporary society, the divorcée is even more mistreated than the widow. The Mechilta on this verse explains that the prohibition applies to any form of mistreatment—whether on a grand scale or ever so slightly. Rambam (Sefer HaMitzvos Lo Sa’aseh 256) gives us some more specifics: It is a warning not to mistreat another, either in words or in actions. Rather, one should speak softly to them and use good and uplifting words. He should engage in business ven- tures with them and provide them with all that is good and with good cheer. In Hilchos Deios (6:10), Rambam adds that one should treat them respectfully and that one should be more concerned for their money and funds than his own. The Sefer HaChinuch (Mitzvah 65) adds that all encounters with them should be with gentleness, kindness, and compas- sion. The author of Responsa Binyomin Ze’ev (No. 301) writes that the people referred to in this verse have precedence over other types of poor people. Why are they of particular concern to the Torah? The Midrash asks (Sh’mos Rabbah 30:8) why Hashem loves them to such a degree. The answer is that their eyes look only to Hashem. He is the Father of orphans and the Dayan of widows. Therefore, whoever steals from 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES October 30, 2009 59 60 October 30, 2009 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES DRS Honors Photos By Ira Thomas Creations

On Thursday of last week, the DRS Achdut Chapter of the National Honor Society held its annual induction ceremony for new members. Members were chosen for their excellence in several areas, including academic performance, community service, and leadership skills. The newly inducted members were joined by the sustaining members who had been inducted in prior years. During the ceremony, Young Israel of Woodmere’s Rabbi Hershel Billet and DRS faculty member Bob Deutsch were inducted as honorary members of the chapter. Rabbi Billet addressed the students on the importance of honesty and integrity in one’s business dealings and in all areas of life.

5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES October 30, 2009 61 Muslim American organization to pub- licly support a two-state solution, to work U.S. Jews, Muslims with national and local Jewish leaders and organizations on interfaith dialogue Must Look Forward, and interfaith action, and to work for a future where American Muslims and Jews can have productive relationships. Not Back He misspoke on 9/11 and apologized pub- Where’s The Beef? resource. Second, The Stuttering licly and to Jewish leaders for his words B Y SALAM AL-MARAYATI Dear Editor, Foundation (www.stutteringhelp.org) the very next day. I am very happy to hear that Costco provides great free resources, such as I want to share with you a recent op- September 16—In the 25 years I have carries kosher meats. But did you know streaming videos and downloadable ed written by Mr. Al-Marayati about this served as a leader in the Muslim that there are Jewish people in the south brochures. One of their new brochures issue that was published by JTA, “U.S. American community, I have watched that would like to have any kosher meat would definitely be of interest to par- Jews, Muslims Must Look Forward, Not and sometimes participated as the pro- and chickens? Places such as Town ents of children in either public or reli- Back” [see article at right—Ed.]. Israel and pro-Palestinian camps have put Center Costco in/near Atlanta, Ga. All I gious schools. The brochure, “Special Also, the “Capitol J” blog covered the all their energy into trying to convert have ever found is the kosher deli meats, Education Law and Stuttering,” explains panel that Salam spoke on; the article, each other to their own ways of think- which are very good. We buy it when how every child enrolled in any school “Al-Marayati Talks About Troubles of ing—ideologically, not theologically. they have it in stock. Just thought that I in the U.S. is guaranteed the right to Interfaith Dialogue,” can be read at The conclusion I have reached is that would bring this to your attention, as I speech therapy at no cost. This benefit http://blogs.jta.org/politics/article/ agreement cannot and should not be a keep kosher and have to travel an hour starts at preschool and goes all the way 2009/10/26/1008740/al-marayati-talks precondition for engagement. As and a half from Chattanooga, Tn. to get through high school, and in some cases -about-troubles-of-interfaith-dialogue. I Muslims, Jews, and Christians who there. Wish you would put a Costco clos- beyond the high school years. believe this adds an additional layer of believe in peacemaking as a social and er to Chattanooga. Sincerely, perspective. religious responsibility, we must be the Respectfully yours, Marvin Goldfarb I hope that you will agree that your drivers of change at the grass-roots level. Mrs. Josephine Shavin Bronx, NY readers should hear directly from Mr. Al- I agreed recently to speak at next Marayati about his views toward the month’s first-ever J Street conference, Help For Those Who Stutter Re: Analyzing J Street Jewish community, toward Israel, and which is titled “Driving Change, Securing Dear Editor, Dear Editor, toward U.S. Muslim-Jewish relations. Peace.” This is a historic occasion on I was happy to read your article in I saw your column about the J Street Sincerely, many fronts. Around The Five Towns “Transcending Conference (“Analyzing J Street,” October Edina Lekovic The Muslim Public Affairs Council and Stuttering: The Inside Story” about the 23) and immediately felt a desire to get in Muslim Public Affairs Council J Street both engage progressive thinkers showing of a documentary on stuttering touch with you. I serve as the communi- www.mpac.org and activists in our respective communi- by Uri Schneider and Phil Schneider. The cations director for the Muslim Public ties to address tough issues, work on topic of stuttering does not receive a lot Affairs Council, of which Salam Al- Middle East peace as a priority issue, and of coverage. Marayati serves as the executive director. WHAT’S YOUR OPINION? strive to develop mutual respect between I would like to point out to your read- I respect your disagreements with J Muslims and Jews. For the first time in ers the websites of two nonprofit organ- Street, but am deeply uncomfortable E-MAIL US AT American history, American Jews and izations that help people who stutter. with the characterization of Mr. Al- American Muslims who don’t agree on First, the Israeli Stuttering Association Marayati in your column. Mr. Al-Marayati [email protected] the narrative of the Middle East conflict (www.ambi.org.il) is an excellent and the MPAC team at large are the first are working together to determine their

62 October 30, 2009 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES future—not just in the Middle East, but ers of diverse and divergent communi- for democratic reform in Muslim coun- accept my apology. in America. ties, we have a responsibility to meet, tries and a robust public diplomatic What detractors of the peace process I am an American Muslim who discuss the issues, and share our multi- effort led by then-Undersecretary of want to do is their business, but the believes that Islam plays a critical role in ple perspectives. This exchange will only State Karen Hughes. future belongs to those who want to shaping the minds and hearts of more enrich the national conversation around Because of my public criticisms of engender hope for America, especially for than 1 billion Muslims to serve the divine the prospects for a durable solution to Israeli government policies related to the the crucial role it can play in the Middle value of justice. I believe in one God, one the conflict. occupation, I also was labeled as anti- East. What the J Street conference repre- human family, and one set of core values If I’ve learned anything in 25 years, Semitic. When Ambassador Daniel sents is a defining moment. that can improve all lives. Those values it’s that working across differences is Kurtzer, an Orthodox Jew, and Secretary I aim to follow the following Koranic are mercy, justice, peace, human dignity, not easy, and certainly not popular. So of State Hillary Rodham Clinton criti- verse in dealing with hostilities, both freedom, and equality for all. it’s no wonder that naysayers will ques- cized the occupation, they were labeled here and abroad: “Good and evil are not MPAC is committed to working with tion and attack those who are attempt- anti-Israel. equal. So repel evil with good and the one members of the U.S. Congress and gov- ing something new and different. I’ve The biggest weapon of the detrac- with whom you have enmity will ernment agencies to formulate effective become a close friend.” policies to counteract terrorism and Far too often we find ourselves in extremism. I am proud of our two- the position of calling for cease-fires in decade record of contributions to policy- the Middle East. It’s high time we call making, interfaith dialogue, Muslim Because I stated that we needed to for one now, in the United States, so integration, and civic participation. I’m that we can move on with the impor- also proud that we’ve played a part in tant business of working together to helping Muslim Americans embrace the look at the root causes of terrorism, explore possibilities that can secure our idea that being American and Muslim go shared future. (JTA) O hand in hand. I was accused of supporting terrorism. Salam Al-Marayati is the co-founder and The Israeli-Palestinian conflict is a executive director of the Muslim Public Affairs key issue of U.S.–Muslim world rela- Council. tions. My position on the conflict— and that of MPAC—centers on the two- state solution whereby Israel and experienced this myself more times tors? On 9/11, just hours after the horrif- Palestine exist side by side with securi- than I can count. ic terrorist attacks, I was interviewed on ty and opportunity. I believe also that When I was nominated to serve on a local radio show in Los Angeles right At 5TJT.com the injustices that the Palestinian peo- the U.S. National Commission on after a guest “expert” stated that Islam ple have endured for more than 60 Terrorism in 1999 by then-House was the prime suspect. In reacting to you can enjoy articles years, as well as the ongoing occupa- Minority Leader Richard Gephardt, that awful stereotype, I made a mistake. in 3 ways: tion that started in 1967, must be attacks and outright lies began cropping I said that if we were going to look for addressed and rectified through nego- up almost immediately. suspects, then we should also put Israel 1. Read tiation, not violence. Middle East wars Because I stated that we needed to on the list. have not resolved anything in the 20th look at the root causes of terrorism, I was It was wrong and I apologized for it on 2. Print century or in the first decade of this accused of supporting terrorism. Yet in the same radio show the very next day, as century. 2001, President George W. Bush made well as directly to Jewish leaders. It is a 3. Email This is why a conference like the one exactly the same assertion, which led to shame that people today continue to J Street is planning is so crucial. As lead- the creation of U.S.-sponsored initiatives exploit that mistake and do not want to

5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES October 30, 2009 63 The Defiant Ones: Positive Parenting Strategies To Alleviate Negative Behavior

BY ROCHELLE MARUCH has been invaded by his father. A power prise disintegrates into a struggle who are very rules-oriented or rigid are MILLER struggle develops, as the toddler digs in between an irritable mom and an ever more apt to set up monumental power his heels even further the more his father more defiant child. struggles with the defiant child. When Parents can inadvertently contribute takes over. Sometimes getting the child involved they also often take the child’s behavior to a child’s defiance and negativity by Avoid overload. Parents may in too many activities in a negative man- personally, seeing his negativity as being too intrusive and by constantly unknowingly intrude and overload a ner can lead to defiant behavior as well. aimed directly at them instead of as an imposing their own agenda. For example, school-age child by bossing her If the activities are fun and spontaneous attempt to organize his world, the situa- parents may overstimulate a baby by talk- around—even when doing something and the child is learning through discov- tion is compounded. “He’s just doing ing too loudly and bouncing him around potentially enjoyable together. An ery, parents find that their child has lots that to make me angry,” such parents of too much. In attempting to cope with all eager mother may try to coach her of energy. On the other hand, if the child my students tell me. There is nothing that stimulation, the baby protests with wrong with having rules and regulations fussing or crying. of conduct for your child, of course, but Focus on the child. Not reading a child’s too many arbitrary rules and regulations cues, and insisting that the child do can drive a defiant child into doing pre- things the parent’s way, can contribute to If you have had a controlling, intrusive cisely the opposite of what you are a defiant child’s rigidity. For example, an demanding of him. 18-month-old is playing with a jack-in-the These struggles are often played out box and is focused on figuring out how to boss at work, then you know how such around certain recurrent issues. The par- open the latch to get Jack to pop out of ent insists that homework be done at a the box. He is suddenly interrupted by his an attitude can stifle your motivation. certain time or in certain ways. “You have father. Dad, thinking the child can’t do it, to do your homework before dinner, in tries to move his son’s hand forward on your room, at your desk, with the radio the latch. The child defiantly shoves Dad’s off and the door closed!” Such rigid rules hands away. almost inevitably set up a nightly struggle Feeling hurt, the father inadvertently daughter to play soccer. Rather than let is feeling bossed around and controlled, that exhausts everyone. intrudes on his son by putting an alpha- her experiment with different ways to it can dampen even the most energetic Even more important for the child’s bet book on top of the jack-in-the-box, kick the soccer ball and perhaps setting child’s enthusiasm. If you have had a con- response than parents wanting their way muttering, “Let’s do something else.” The up creative games, she insists on trolling, intrusive boss at work, then you is the style by which they try to get their toddler, trapped with both hands under instructing, ordering, and demanding know how such an attitude can stifle way. When it comes to homework, clean- the jack-in-the-box and the book, tumbles too much. She gets impatient and your motivation and desire to participate ing up, or respecting other people, par- everything over and begins a tantrum, angry when the child doesn’t want to and excel. ents can persuade, negotiate, and set lim- banging his head on the floor. His world do it Mommy’s way. The whole enter- Don’t make too many rules. Parents its in a calm, empathetic, and supportive

64 October 30, 2009 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES way. In contrast, an “in your face,” domi- to be warm, soothing, and respectful. advance together. Try to avoid surprises aware of these patterns allows us to take neering attitude is sure to set up or inten- Meet her inflexibility with flexibility. and throwing a tantrum yourself. a more supportive and empathetic pos- sify the child’s defiance. Help her reflect on the fact that maybe As your child gets older, help him ture with our children, rather than an Be soothing and gain their trust. By she is being extra-hard on you. As you become more aware of his own sensitivi- overly critical one. O being aware of a child’s underlying inse- help her see this pattern and encourage ties and tolerance level. Help him see Rochelle Maruch Miller is a journalist, creative curities and vulnerabilities and being as her to become more flexible, remember what he does and what he doesn’t do media consultant, lecturer, and educator. She can soothing as possible, parents can help that she is probably being harder on her- when he gets overloaded. Urge him to be reached at [email protected]. their defiant child. Underneath the self. When you come down on her too verbalize his feelings and develop a child’s defiance is his inability to let you hard, you may only intensify her self- reflective attitude toward his sensitivi- know directly how much he needs you criticism. Empathy and flexibility, cou- ties. That way, he eventually learns to pre- and how much he depends on you for pled with quiet explanations, help her pare himself for challenging situations. comfort and security. The only response see that she is being hard on both you The importance of self-awareness. And G-d spoke to he knows is to act defiantly. Therefore, and herself. Parents benefit from self-awareness, as you want to gain your child’s trust and Avram confidence and somehow slip under his (Bereishis 12:1) defiance so that you can offer him what he needs. There was once a person Establishing trust and security is not It is easier to be soothing with a who was traveling from easy, of course. For example, when you place to place and he saw a ask your eight-year-old how school was and she replies, “Don’t ask me all the sensitive child who is clingy and palace in flames. Said he: time! Why do you care?” it’s hard to see “Can it be that there is no her underlying vulnerabilities. It is easier frightened than with a defiant child. master to this palace?” So to be soothing with a sensitive child who the owner of the palace is clingy and frightened than with a defiant child. The defiant child, with her con- looked out to him and said stant need to be the boss and ongoing to him:“I am the master of power struggles with you, makes life Be gentle, but set firm limits. Firm lim- well. Sometimes parents feel some the Palace.” By the same more difficult. its also need to be implemented. Being embarrassment and guilt toward defiant token, because Avraham Yet it is crucial to remember that this empathetic does not mean always giving or stubborn aspects of themselves. child is just as prone to being over- the child what he wants. But when he is Without being aware of it, they may see would go around saying, whelmed and overloaded as the highly being refused another helping of ice pieces of themselves in their child and, if “Can it be that the world sensitive child. The defiant child uses cream, or punished for pulling his sister’s they hate that part of themselves, they has no master?” G-d looked bossiness and defiance in an attempt to hair, the limit-setting needs to be done in will often take that out on the child, out and said:“I am the feel secure. To protect himself, he shuts a firm but very gentle manner. Gentle lim- rather than be aware of its origins. All of out part of the world—including some- its coupled with empathy and flexibility us have negative characteristics that we owner, the master of the times his parents. Your goal is to provide will gradually help your child be less crit- aren’t proud of. These hidden truths world.” tender loving care in spite of his negativi- ical of you—and of himself. often resonate with characteristics in our ty and defiance. In setting limits, take advantage of children that we don’t like. It’s as if all (Midrash Rabbah) Even more than with most children, your child’s debating skills to hash out the “bad elements” in the collective fam- the general goal with the defiant child is rules, rewards, and punishments in ily psyche hang out together. Being

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5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES October 30, 2009 65 put them together for a relatively short attracted to her, and this increases the time, and then ask them to live together love and attachment he feels toward for the rest of their lives in peace and her. This element is so significant in harmony. creating that bond that a man is not In all relationships, differences of allowed to marry a woman without opinions tend to escalate, so feelings are first seeing her, in case “she may be ugly hurt and eventually the liaison ends. in his eyes.” Most business partnerships end with a The Torah’s approach to a successful fight. Most friendships weaken when marriage is not to ignore the physical, but people go their separate ways. It seems rather to understand that it is a tool to be The Shmuz On impractical to expect the institution of used for greater devotion and attachment marriage to succeed. of husband and wife. So how is it that To allow marriages to flourish, Avraham wasn’t even aware of whether The Parashah Hashem placed within the heart of man his wife was attractive? the capacity to form a bond of love. The greatness of the Avos. Because of Love allows a couple to overlook each the great level of spirituality that The Greatness Of The Avos Men are from Mars, women are from other’s shortcomings, to ignore their Avraham and Sarah were on, matters of R’ BEN TZION SHAFIER Venus. Men and women are different in partner’s flaws. It is the glue that holds physical beauty were irrelevant. almost every way imaginable. They a marriage together. Apparently, Avraham was on the level “And it was as they came close to com- speak differently, act differently, and To help form this bond, Hashem cre- of loving his wife totally and complete- ing to Egypt, and Avram said to Sarai his ly for her inner beauty—for who she wife, ‘Behold, now I know that you are a was as a person. The external would beautiful woman.’” neither have helped nor hurt. If her —Bereishis 12:11 physical beauty would have added a Hashem told Avram to leave Charan We see the greatness of the Avos dimension to the love and devotion and go to the land of Canaan. When that he felt toward her, we have to Avram arrived, there was a famine in the assume that he would have used it as land, and he was forced to go down to and Imahos, recognize how much such. Rather, it was something that Egypt. While traveling there, he said to wouldn’t have added to the already his wife, “Behold, now I know that you powerful bond and attraction he felt are a beautiful woman.” they towered over us, and use toward her. Rashi, in the name of the Midrash, We see from this the great spiritual explains that up until this point Avraham them as a guide. planes the Avos and Imahos were on. To Avinu didn’t notice his wife’s physical Avraham and Sarah, it wasn’t just that appearance. Because they were traveling, the physical took a back seat; it was the situation caused him to become irrelevant and didn’t weigh in at all. aware of it, and he now recognized that They lived on such a pure level that she was a beautiful woman. have different value systems. It would ated a number of catalysts. One of these they bonded as a couple with complete This Rashi becomes difficult to under- seem nearly impossible to take two is a woman’s beauty. When a husband and utter devotion without any need of stand when we focus on why Hashem individuals from different backgrounds, notices his wife’s appearance, there is the physical drives that Hashem put created beauty in a woman. with diverse natures and upbringings, an awakening in his heart. He feels into mankind.

66 October 30, 2009 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES The difference between a mile marker and the North Star. This concept has great relevance in our lives. We are told that a person must say, “When will my actions reach the level of the Avos?” Chazal teach us that to reach greatness, we must use the Avos as role models. We are supposed to study their lives, see how they conducted themselves, and emulate their ways. However, there are two dimensions to the lessons that we learn from the Avos. Some lessons are direct; we can see how the Avos acted in a given situation, and we can attempt in our own lives to imitate those deeds. In this mode, we use the Avos almost as mile markers to plan and measure our growth. The second type of lessons that we learn from the Avos are less direct. These lessons are not as much about how to act as about how to understand the greatness and the potential of the human. We see the greatness of the Avos and Imahos, recognize how much they towered over us, and use them as a guide, a North Star by which we set our compass. When we see that there are people who walked this earth—who ate, drank, and slept as we do—and reached levels that are almost beyond our comprehension, we aren’t asked to imitate those actions, but to expand our horizons. I am not expected to be like them, nor will I ever be asked to do what they did. But if that is what a human is capable of, then it breaks through the barriers of what I thought was possible. Their actions expand my understanding of what is possible for me. The physical in our own lives. We must remember that in our own lives and marriages, physical elements are important. A wife should do her best to make herself attractive to her husband, and a husband should do his best to make himself attractive to his wife. We aren’t Avraham Avinu and Sarah Imeinu. Therefore, we were given tools to help create a powerful attachment that with- stands time and the travails of life. Physical attraction isn’t the end goal, but it is a key element and driving force in a successful marriage and a Torah home. At the same time, it is important to have a mental image of what a human can aspire to, so we can set our goals for our own greatness. O

“The Shmuz,” an engaging and motivating Torah lecture that deals with real-life issues, is available free at www.TheShmuz.com. The Shmuz on the Parsha, a compilation on all of Chumash, is now available for purchase in sefarim stores and at TheShmuz.com. 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES October 30, 2009 67 68 October 30, 2009 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES October 30, 2009 69 SERVICES SERVICES PROVIDED PROVIDED

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Lower Location! ...... 850K Level. Parking. Owner: 917-417-5725 Brick Dramatic Young 5 BR Col cul-de- Help Wanted Ad Law: Hi Ranch. Must see, 4br, 2.5bth, sac MIC ...... $900’s Cedarhurst: Office rental: Executive 2 fam rm, CAC, 2 car garage, large Open House Sunday 11-1 p.m. prop ...... $800sK Bths, Fully Web wired, 1,250 sq. ft., 146 B9 and 156 B9 condos new construc- Here Ced: Nu2Mkt, 2Fam, 3br/3br, 2fpl, CAC. 5TGR 516-322-3555 tion for sale or rent deck, all new, grt loc, full bsmt $795K 1250 B12th St. 3 BR 2 bths Cedarhurst: CH col., new quality Prime location on Central Ave. Approx. By Appt Every Thursday construction. 7 bedroom, 4.5 bths, den, 1,200 sq. ft. 3 offices, conference room, Cedarhurst for Rent 4/5 BR homes LR, DR, oversized gourmet, granite secretary area, 2 private bathrooms...... $3,600 EIK, huge FDR, 9' ceiling, finished Elevator bldg. Call 917-417-5725 Milky Forst Properties Inc. 516-239-0306 100,000 readers basement prime location. Asking ...... $1.25M Lawrence Office sublet. 750 square look forward to 5 TOWN HOMES 516-569-5710 Open House 11/1 1-4 25 Vanderbilt Way, feet. medical or commercial. North Woodmere. 290 Central Ave. in Lawrence. Woodmere/Cedarhurst Oppty! 3 BR, 2.5 bth, LR, DR, EIK, finished Dr. Feibusch 516-375-8894 what’s happening 12,000 sq. ft. approx. 90’x150’, Colonial, basement, renovated, end unit in devel- 17 rooms, full bsmt. with hi ceilings, opment. Billee Spodek 516-398-6374 in the clean 2 car garage plus storage, 6 space parking, 2 family, professional use, 5 Town Homes 516-569-5712 FOR RENT accountant, Esq., medical and/or educa- Cedarhurst: NU 2 Mkt. Lg LR, DR, 5 Towns by reading tional and religious uses. Grand colonial EIK, Den, 5BR, 3bth, Skilits, Cabana, with charm and great possibilities. Lg prop, IGPool, Walk to all . . . $659K The Five Towns Available at once . . . $875K Negotiable Far Rockaway — Lg. Hse Rental: 4br, Owner 516-322-3555 2bth, bsmt., hi-ceilings, NU bths, W\D. The Woodmere, Woodsburg, co-op Call 516-322-3555 Far Rockaway: 2 Fam. All NU Mayfair— Sunday Open House 11/1 BA Jewish Times. Grand 3 BR, 3 bth, huge LR/pillars, sep- 3 over 3 Br. 4Fbth, Dr, Full bsmt Madison Area — Immaculate 3 bed- arate large DR, den, EIK, renovated. All features ...... $779K room duplex, Large LR, DR, EIK Move- Call 516-263-6417 Qualified only. Reduced $480K 516-295- in condition!! Front/back porches 7776, agent co-op Lawrence — NU 2 Mkt. Col., Brk., Hardwood floors $2,200 (optional base- Deadline is Monday Large property, near ALL, 5Br, 3.5Bth, Far Rockaway: 2 Family. All NU, ment) 917-371-7982 lv mssg Den, full bsmt ...... $1.9M 3 over 1 Bdrm, 3 full baths. Great at 5:00 p.m. Call 516-322-3555 Location ...... $599K North Wdm. — house rental. Hi-ranch Call 516-322-3555 in MIC. 4 br, CAC, den, on quiet street. Lawrence — Wonderful c/h col. house 5 TOWN HOMES 516-569-5710 1 Week ...... $35 on the nicest cul-de-sac there is. Brand Far Rockaway — 2 houses New to mar- new kitchen, finished basement. Asking ket! Brand new construction. Bayswater — 1 BR, w/d, frum neigh- $875K Call 516-902-0936 Detached 1 family house, 3 BR, 2.5 bths, bors, private entrance, great kitchen 2 Weeks ....$60 beautiful kosher kitchen, private drive- private backyard. 516-374-3635 Hewlett — Col. MIC, 4br, 2bth, 2fpl, full way, full basement, porch +2 balconies, deck, wood flr, Lg. den. Walk to all. convenient location. Priced to sell. . . . Woodmere (Old Woodmere) — ...... $729K 4 Weeks ....$100 ...... $479K Beautiful modern charming 3 BR, 2 bth 5 TOWN HOMES 516-322-3555 2 family 3/3, 4.5 bths, beautiful kosher Cape Cod house. new EIK, new bths, cac...... $2,350 Valley Stream: Nu 2 Mkt. Brick ranch, kitchens, parking, full basement. Only Weekly Ads of up to Owner, no fees. 516-569-0005, 732-364-4754 great condition, quiet street. Nu EIK, ...... $599K LR, Den, Lg Prop ...... $409K Weissman Realty 516-791-6100 Kew Garden Hills — Beautiful, fully 25 words For Rent ...... $2,500 Far Rockaway: Coop, 3Br, 1Bth renovated 1 family home, detached 5 TOWN HOMES 516-569-5710 Lr/Dr, Walk to All ...... $179K 40x100. 4 BR, 2.5 bath, finished base- Call: 516-569-0502 Call 516-322-3555 ment, backyard, patio, driveway. Best location . . . . $3,500/mo, buy $770K neg. Call Aaron: 917-519-6110. COMMERCIAL REAL Hillel Realty Group Fax: 516-977-0608 ESTATE FOR SALE Lawrence — Coop Rental. 1BR. 1NU Or E-mail ads to: Bth, LR, DR, EIK...... $1,300 Beautiful 12 family apt. building, in the 5Town Homes ** 516-569-5710 heart of Far Rockaway, stable tenancy, [email protected] income producing. Call Weissman Realty Group 516-791-6100 Classified Ads are Include payment info. Cedarhurst — Central Ave. corner 1 Continued on the Next Page. story retail building for sale. 1100 sq. ft. Great location. Call 917-846-6577 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES October 30, 2009 71 CLASSIFIED ADS Continued from Page 71 FOR RENT FOR RENT FOR RENT

FOR RENT Far Rockaway — 1 BR apt for rent. Cedarhurst — All new, bright 3 BR, 1.5 Cedarhurst — House Rental LR/FDR, Good condition. Elevator building. bths, ground floor apt in 2-family house, den, 3br, 2.5bth, Fin. Bsmt . . . . . $2,300 Cornaga and Neilson. Includes heat and LR, FDR, EIK/ w new appliances, new Call 516-322-3555 hot water ...... $975 Alexander Hotel, Miami Beach By carpet, w/d included, yard and parking. Call 718-692-2525 ext. 211 owner Two bedroom/two bathroom new Walk all ...... $2,250 kitchen, plasma TVs, Magnificent view Cedarhurst — Nu House CH Col. LR, 5 TOWN HOMES 516-569-5710 MISCELLANEOUS of ocean/ bay. Available for Winter FDR, Kosher EIK, Den, 4BR, 3BTHS. Break, etc. Far Rockaway — Large One Bedroom [email protected] or 718-930-6800 Bsmt. For Rent ...... $2,500 Apartment for rent. Beautiful elevator 5 TOWN HOMES 516-569-5710 Ocean Corp. Houston, Texas. Train for Century Village, Boca Raton — bldg. Nice tenancy. Great location at New Career. Underwater Welder, Florida — Sunny Isles Beach furnished 2 BR, 2 full bths, LR, DR, Neilson and Cornaga, near Shor Yoshuv, Commercial Diver, NDT/Weld Inspector. Winston Towers, 2br 2bth, ocean and enclosed porch, kitchen, close to tem- transportation, and shopping. Job placement and financial aid for bay views, new, kosher kitchen, pool & those who qualify, 1-800-321-0298 ples, second floor. Minimum of 4 months. Asking $1,100. Call 718-692-2525 ext. 180 sundeck, health club. Young Israel 1/2 518-438-8003 block. Call 347-776-1918 Boca Raton — condo. Seasonal rental. 2 Cedarhurst — Garden apt. Nu 2 Mkt. Cedarhurst — NU House, CH Col., LR, BR/ 2 bths, new kitchen, granite coun- LOST AND FOUND 2BR. 2Bth, Mint, 1st Flr, heat & prk FDR, Kosher EIK, Den, 4BR., 3BTHS. tertops, stainless appliances, screen incld ...... $2,500 Bsmt ...... $3,200 5Town Homes 516-569-5710 5 TOWN HOMES porch, new furnishings, tennis court and 516-569-5710 swimming pool, gated community, close Found child’s Ugg boot in Gourmet Lawrence — 18 Berkley Place to shops and beach. 201-670-6146 Glatt parking lot on 10/19. 516-650-6005 Center hall col., 4 BR, 3 bths, stunning Far Rockaway — 1, 2, and 3 BR apart- cul-de-sac, best location . . $4K monthly ments. some balconies. New kitchens, lots of closets, 24 hr doorman, security Call Irene 516-652-7099 cameras. Close to White Shul, Shor Deadline for Advertising Far Rockaway/West Lawrence — Yoshuv and train. Call Sherri Studio apt for rent. Private house, good 516-297-7995 in the Classifieds for Next Week is location, near Shor Yoshuv, synagogues, Far Rockaway — On beach. Brand new building, 1 & 2 BR available. Granite yeshivos, and public transportation. kitchens, balconies with water views, Good for office. Tuesday, November 2 Shabbos elevator, w/d hookup, parking. 718-337-5753 or 347-461-6034 No renter’s fee! Weissman Realty Group, LLC 516-791-6100 Miami Beach, FL — Tower 41. Ocean 5:00 P.M. view, 1 BR apt, 2 bths, updated kitchen, Far Rockaway — Apt for rent. Large 3 terrace, restaurant, shul, health club, BR, huge LR, big DR, 1.5 bths, first Call 516-569-0502 parking, furnished. Avilable now. floor, close to all. Call 917-697-2233 for Seasonal. 917-407-4169 more information.

72 October 30, 2009 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES

Morality’s Political Irrelevance

BY RABBI FRANCIS NATAF

Several decades ago, the Rev. Jerry Falwell started a revivalist political movement aimed at bringing traditional morality to the fore of American politics. Although he certainly made serious inroads, the very name that this famed preacher gave to his movement betrayed its limitations. Falwell’s “Moral Majority” was founded on the premise that most Americans are committed to a traditional Christian viewpoint. While it is correct that most do see themselves as Christians and that an impressively large number of them take their religion very seriously, Falwell still overestimat- ed how many would categorically support a traditional Biblical approach to morality. But perhaps the name, “moral majority” is not as misguided as it first sounds. Is there not a majority of Americans (and not only Americans) who want to do the right thing? One hopes so. Though some might immediately object and say that such a notion as “the right thing” is so amorphous as to be ultimately irrelevant, I would ask for their forbearance and request that they read further nonetheless. At the same time, it is not to be taken for granted. True, a very high percentage of people anywhere think of themselves as righteous, but that doesn’t translate into these people actually being righteous. If we define a moral person as someone who puts some serious moral vision at the top of his agenda (and true morality demands as much), it quickly becomes obvious that this is far from a universal norm. In fact, for many people, morality really ends up being a matter of convenience—when it is not overly demanding, it has the day. But when it is inconvenient or too costly, another way is found. To take a fairly innocuous but very telling illustration, we turn to the classic game of Monopoly. Other ideological problems with this game notwithstand- ing, it does assume that players will be honest with the rules and with each other. Yet, one well known (and welcome) card tells the player to collect money as a result of a “bank error in your favor.” In other words, here is money that doesn’t belong to that player, but since he is the only one that knows that it is ill-earned gains, he should keep it anyways. But let us not blame the authors of the game. In real life, we know that a great many people would keep such money if they were certain that no one else would find out. Sure, there are many rationalizations for doing so, but at the end of the day one would be taking money that belongs to someone else. Thus, though we may disagree about

Continued on Page 76 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES October 30, 2009 73 5TJT Puzzle Page: My Name Is...

B Y YONI GLATT

23. Plants hairs 47. With ___ Across 25. Rambam (three words) 48. Mode predecessor (two 1. Havana site 32. Battle wear words) 5. One doing Half-Dome or the 33. Leave out 49. Horn sounds Appalachian trail 34. Did a marathon 52. Reason for ironing 10. LA skyline site 36. Civil disorder 57. Rashi (two words) 14. Big oil letters 37. Gamble (2 words) 60. Help 15. “______a Grecian Urn,” Keats 39. Part of a Mexican sandwich 61. State of Frankfurt 16. Deal 40. Shortest word with the most 62. Yemenite gulf 17. Ramban (three words) meanings in the dictionary 63. Friend 20. Needs for some radios 41. Actor Ventimiglia 64. Some Greek tales 21. Marriage passage 42. Women’s old fashioned scarf 65. Man who brought down 22. Baby 43. Ralbag (three words) Capone

Down 1. More than a deep sleep 2. Fairy tale word 3. ___ in show 4. Head or tummy 5. Fraternize 6. Be creative 7. Burns and a doll 8. Long time 9. Genetic letters 10. Split 11. Most nursers 12. Major Australian gem 13. Notable Hackman 18. Computer key 19. “Hush!” (two words) 23. Rounds 24. Large farm vehicle 25. Red orb 26. Brand of wine 27. Killed 28. ___ peppers 29. Off (two words) 30. Spinach-like plant 31. Football snack, for many 35. Moshe, Moshe’s country, or Moshe’s robe 37. Newborn neckware 38. General Robert 39. “Whether ___ nobler…” 41. Polluted atmosphere 42. First name of The Trial 44. Law preventers 45. Too flashy 46. Tops 49. Alexei or Ivan V 50. Brown’s state 51. Former car, for short 52. Abnormal sac 53. Coleridge’s Kubla 54. Load cargo 55. Just makes out 56. Theft, adultery, etc… 58. Physics measurement 59. Yo

Solution on Page 78. 74 October 30, 2009 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES A Five Towns Simcha Photos By Jason Finegold

Miriam Minkin, daughter of Alisa and Eric Minkin of West Hempstead, celebrated her Bat Mitzvah on September 13 at the Rockwood Park Jewish Center. Miriam and her friends and family danced to the music of Malka Entertainment and ate a delicious buffet lunch catered by Crowne Royale Caterers.

5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES October 30, 2009 75 Irrelevance Continued from Page 73 how to define “the right thing,” I would suggest that a more important division than this is between those who are prepared to do the right thing (no matter how defined) even when it is inconvenient, and those who are not. In other words, more significant than the split between left, right, and center is the split between the theoretically moral and the actually moral. Unfortunately, the potentially redemptive latter group is a “house divided against itself.” For better or worse, most people who put morality at the top of their agendas are highly ideological and resultantly believe that their own vision is the only legitimate one. Paradoxically, that means that they are not willing to work with others who have an equally idealistic alternative vision. Instead, they usually align themselves with political forces that are willing to compromise on such matters since they approach morality as a matter of convenience. We are all familiar with the divisive issues which separate competing moral visions, such as the role of women, homosexuality, nationalism, and abor- tion. However, many are blind to the fact that there are at least as many issues that unite. The fight against global poverty and for peace, the need to elim- inate corruption on every level, to encourage a more responsible approach to the environment, and to minimize anti-social and otherwise destructive business practices from only a portion of what should be the shared agenda of a true moral majority. Can such a majority ever come together? Based on the past, it is hard to be optimistic. One of the biggest problems is the entrenched lack of charity that each side of the house divided has regarding the other. Were it only a con- spiracy of political forces meant to keep the moral majority down, we would draw some solace. In fact, however, it is based in narrow-mindedness and in the inability to see things from a larger perspective. A common rejoinder which I imagine some might be thinking, is that the other side is not really serious about morality—if they were, they wouldn’t do x, y, or z. The hypocrisy of such a position comes out in the much more charitable attitude that the moral majority’s two wings have towards the moral- ly mediocre. In many ways, the Torah encourages us to realize that there is more than one way to look at something. In fact, some of the greatest sins committed are a result of an unwillingness to reexamine information from a new perspective. I daresay that even more than religion, politics suffers from this stiff-necked inability to rethink how we determine and subsequently pur- sue our points of view. (Arutz Sheva) O

Rabbi Francis Nataf is the educational director of the David Cardozo Academy and the author of Redeeming Relevance in the Book of Genesis (Urim). He is a well-respected educator who has held many senior educational positions in Israel and the United States at such prestigious institutions as Yeshiva University, the Shehebar Sephardic Study Center, and the David Shapell College of Jewish Studies. Rabbi Nataf was ordained at Yeshiva University and also holds degrees in Jewish history and international affairs. He has written numerous articles for a variety of important Jewish websites and periodicals. 76 October 30, 2009 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES October 30, 2009 77 Solution To This Week’s 5TJT Puzzle: My Name Is...

Puzzle appears on page 74.

78 October 30, 2009 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES October 30, 2009 79 80 October 30, 2009 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES