‘The Boy In The Photograph’ ANTI- PRESENTATION PERFORMED BY ROB HIGGS ‘The Boy In The Photograph’ is inspired by my own experiences...

AM I BEING BULLIED?

Several Times On Purpose The ‘Victim State’

FEAR SHAME

SELF- BULLYING Strategies To Help Yourself If You Are Ever Bullied…

 Smash The Silence: Tell Someone & Report It Immediately.

 Allow Others To Support You.  Keep A Diary. Collect Evidence.

 Build Confidence & Self-Esteem through Personal Challenge.

 Acknowledge your emotions. It’s OK To Feel Angry or Scared. Release the energy in a therapeutic way:

 Writing  Performing  Creating

 https://www.childline.org.u k/toolbox/art-box/

‘BANTER’ vs ‘BULLYING’

 http://www.telegraph.c o.uk/news/uknews/defe nce/11844639/Army- must-not-lose-banter-in- - crackdown.html

ROLEPLAY

LOSER YOUR MUM.. UGLY WEIRDO THICK FREAK

FAT I DON’T LIKE YOU.

Creative Exercise

 Idea 1: Deflect With Humour  Idea 2: Broken Record:

 “I don’t lose all the time”  “Whatever, whatever, whatever”

 “Clearly not” or “That’s not true”  “Thanks!..Thanks!..Thanks!..”

 “I’m pretty clever actually”  “Blah, blah, blah..”

 “Thanks so much for telling me that.”  Idea 3: Direct Question:  “Everyone’s a bit weird. It’s a weird world.”  “Is this banter or bullying?”

 “Great banter”  “Why are you saying that?”

 “#Drama” or “#Banter”  “What do you mean by that?”

 “Oh well” or “I don’t need you to like me”  Idea 4: Use an ‘I Feel..’ Statement:  “My Mum’s great, thanks for asking.”  “You can’t talk to me like that.”   “I’m just going to write that “You keep saying that…..and it down…and then not care.” makes me feel like…….”

Top Tips..

Find ‘Presence’ Retain Composure. TCUP! Prepare & Practise Answers Until They Become Automatic. Practise With ‘Trigger’ words To Remove Their Power. RE-FRAME & TAKE POSITIVE ACTION.

#DontSayDontSend Kidscape Campaign

 Would I say it to someone’s face?  Will I feel differently later? – Don’t post when you are emotional!  Will my post reflect positively on me?

 Can this be interpreted differently?  Am I being kind?  Is it really private?

 Do I have permission to share?  Would I like me?  Is it legal?  Download a copy from https://www.kidscape.org.uk/w hat-we-do/resources/

If You Feel YOU Are Bullying Someone..

 Identify the Reason: The • Make a genuine apology first step is admitting that Delete upsetting posts, what you are doing is tweets or retract hurting another person. It comments you’ve made. could help to talk to someone. • Learn and Move on • Find a new way to gain • Don’t dwell on mistakes or respect and feel good be defined by them. about yourself. Get people • Work on: Empathy, to like you for who you are. Respect, Impulse Control. Not because of bullying. • Source: Childline. • Be the one to make a stand Talk to others involved and encourage them to stop. It only takes one person to start making a big change.

The Bystander Revolution What is ‘’ ?

“Offensive, intimidating, malicious or insulting behaviour, an abuse or misuse of power through means that undermine, humiliate, denigrate or injure the person being bullied” Acas, [Advisory, Conciliation & Arbitration Service.]

Workplace Bullying

 Being constantly criticised, having duties and responsibility taken away without good reason.  Shouting, aggressive behaviour or threats.  Being put down or made to feel like the butt of the jokes.  Being persistently picked on in front of others or in private.  Being constantly ignored, victimised and excluded regularly.  Constantly mocking and attacking members of staff.  Spreading malicious rumours about members of staff.  Misuse of power or position to make someone feel uncomfortable or victimised.  Making threats about job security without any basis or substance.  Blocking promotion or progress within the workplace.

TACKLING WORKPLACE BULLYING

 Regain Control – “Recognise what is happening to you as bullying - it is the bully who has the problem, which he or she is projecting on to you. Criticisms and allegations, which are ostensibly about you or your performance and which sometimes contain a grain (but only a grain) of truth, are not about you or your performance. Do not be fooled by that grain of truth into believing the criticisms and allegations have any validity - they do not. The purpose of criticism is control; it has nothing to do with performance enhancement.” , BullyOnline.org

TACKLING WORKPLACE BULLYING

 Take Action: “Keep a log (journal, diary) of everything - it's not each incident that counts, it's the number, regularity and especially the patterns that reveal bullying. The bully can explain individual incidents but cannot explain away the pattern. It's the pattern which reveals intent.” Tim Field, BullyOnline.org

• Taking action means speaking out, but not necessarily confronting the bully directly. • Seek advice and support from your HR department, your health and safety or welfare officers, or your union representative. • Find out if your employer has a policy on bullying and harassment, and what their grievance procedure is. • Protect your Mental Health: Seek support from friends and colleagues. • Avoid situations where you are alone with the bully. • Leave Your Job

Support For Workplace Bullying

 https://www.theguardian.com/careers/2017/mar/ 29/bullying-at-work-your-legal-rights Free Advice from BullyingUK

 www.bullying.co.uk

: @bullyinguk

 www.mind.org.uk

 The Tim Field Foundation: http://timfieldfoundation.org/

 www.BullyOnline.org

 www.acas.org.uk

Bystanders Are Powerful

“In schools where it is perceived that it is solely the teachers’ responsibility to stop bullying, pupils expected each other to do nothing. Unfortunately ‘doing nothing’ is seen as supporting bullying by the bully and the bullied.”

Anti-Bullying Alliance Bystander Behaviours

 ASSISTANTS – actively support the bully.

 RE-INFORCERS – do not attack but support the bully by laughing along & providing an audience.

 OUTSIDERS – passive bystanders.

 DEFENDERS – actively support those targeted and challenge bullying.

Things You Can Do As A Bystander

 Tell the person or people doing the  Be a Defender! bullying to stop doing it (but only if  Choose not to watch or laugh this feels safe to do.) along or provide an audience.  Speak up for someone if they are  Empower the person being struggling or teach them the skills bullied. Be friendly to them. you’ve learned.

 Tell the person being bullied that  Acknowledge what you have seen. you don’t like the bullying. Ask  Write supportive comments them if you can do anything (e.g This may help them feel like they tell someone or go with them to aren't so alone when other people tell someone.) • are posting negative messages.

 Report what you have seen to School.

“I believe entire organizations can be brought down by just one energy sapper who is not confronted and sorted out soon as you are aware of the problem.” Sir Clive Woodward

 Energy Sappers

 Sap. Deplete, devitalize, drain, erode, exhaust, undermine, weaken, wear down.

 Energisers

 Energy. Drive, efficiency, exertion, fire, force, intensity, power, spirit, stamina, strength.

Where To Find Support…

 www.childnet.com – ‘Childnet Hub’ – videos and guides that teach you to stay safe online.

 www.thinkuknow.co.uk – Advice plus ‘Report Abuse’ button. Twitter: @CEOPUK

 www.kidscape.org.uk – Training courses and free advice online or Twitter: @Kidscape.

 www.childline.org.uk - Advice online, phone 0800 1111 (open 24/7) or use Childline App.

 www.anti-bullyingalliance.org.uk – Advice, Current Research and Case Studies. Twitter: @ABAonline.

Thank you!

 Follow on Twitter @Higgs_Rob or visit online at www.roberthiggs.co.uk