We got your back issues right here bub!!

KODT No.#4 “Have Dice Will Travel” $3.45 To purchase any products listed in this magazine, send a check or KODT No.#5 “Master of the Game” $3.95 money order (made payable to Kenzer and Company) to: ______KODT No.#6 “Plays Well With Others” $5.95 Kenzer & Company KODT No.#7 “The DiceMan Cometh!” $5.95 Mail Order Fulfillments KODT No.#8 “An Orc By Any Other Name” $5.45 1935 S. Plum______Grove Rd., Ste. 194 Palatine, IL 60067 KODT No.#9 “Two Dice For Sister Sara” $4.95 or fax a valid Visa, MasterCard, or Discover card number, your signature, KODT No.#10 “Let the Dice Fall Where They May” $5.95 card type and expiration date to us at (847) 397-2404. Please include KODT No.#11 “When in Doubt: Hack!! $2.95 $1.00 for the first item and 50¢ per additional KODT No.#12 “The Good, The Bad, and the Unlucky!” $2.95 item for shipping and handling. Whether you’re looking to spice up a pre-existing campaign or don’t need the depth of resources offered by the complete ™ fantasy campaign setting, the individual resource books offer a cost effec- tive way to put that extra spark into any gaming world. Just like the rest of the Kalamar line, they are suitable for any rules system, including, but not limited to HackMaster™ and Advanced Dungeons and Dragons¨*.

™ The Kingdoms of Kalamar™ The Kingdoms of Kalamar volume II: volume I: Mythos of the Divine and Worldly Sourcebook of the Sovereign Lands

Sample file

Mythos of the Divine and Worldly Sourcebook of the Sovereign Lands This 88 page guidebook painstakingly describes This 100 page tome details the history of the the 44 deities and religions of Tellene. Volume peoples and nations of Tellene. From the depths of II also includes details on Tellene’s major secret the mysterious Vohven Jungle to the vast savanna of organizations, rune-sets for 11 languages, the Drhokker horse-lords, this book describes every constellations, astronomical marvels and an kingdom, race and topographical feature of all-inclusive eight page index. $10.95 Kalamar’s world. $11.95

Kingdoms of Kalamar Deluxe Boxed Set $29.95 In addition to both of the campaign sourcebooks (Mythos of the Divine and Worldly and Sourcebook of the Sovereign Lands), the Kingdoms of Kalamar boxed set contains two gorgeous 24” x 36” full color maps depicting the lands of Tellene. These maps are printed on extra heavy stock and have been recognized as the finest fantasy maps on the market. A hex grid overlay is provided to protect these treasures.

*Advanced Dungeons & Dragons is a registered trademark of . Use of this trademark is NOT sanctioned by the holder. Mythos of the Divine and Worldly, Sourcebook of the Sovereign Lands, HackMaster and the Kingdoms of Kalamar are trademarks of Kenzer and Company. Knights of the

KENZER & TM COMPANY Knights of the Dinner Table #13 D T “Men That Hack!” inner able November, 1997 ______© Copyright 1997, Kenzer and Company, All Rights Reserved. Knights of the Dinner Table™ “Men that Hack” magazine is published monthly by Kenzer and Company. Subscriptions: A one year Created by Jolly R. Blackburn subscription (12 issues) is only $28.00 (US $32.00 in Canada and Ongoing Devleopers: Jolly R. Blackburn, Brian Jelke, US $50.00 Overseas). To subscribe, send a check or Steve Johansson and money order (made payable to Kenzer and Company) to: Cover by George Vrbanic ______Kenzer & Company KODT Subscriptions, 1935 S. Plum Grove Rd., Ste. 194 ______Palatine, IL 60067 or fax a valid Visa, MasterCard, or Discover card number, your signature, card type and expiration date to us at (847) 397-2404. Back Issues: Back issues and related merchandising are also available; send US $2.00 for a Sample file current catalog and prices. Legal Notice: Knights of the Dinner Table, Men That Hack, HackNoia, CattlePunk SpaceHack, KODT, Hack Master, Gary Jackson Files, the Kenzer and Co. Logo, and all prominent characters and likenesses thereof are trademarks of Kenzer and Co. Mailing Address: Kenzer and Company, 1935 S. Plum Grove Road, Suite 194, Palatine, IL 60067. Phone/fax: (847) 397- 2404. Internet: [email protected] (editorial inquiries only) or [email protected] (non-KODT inquiries only). World Wide Web: http://members.aol.com/relkin/ken zerco.html Submissions: We accept submissions for strip ideas, jokes, cartoons, etc. We are interested in “We are the thin veil, who running anything that other hold back the night!! gamers and fans would enjoy. We are the men who hack, Send a S.A.S.E. for writer’s turning wrong to right” guidelines. NSB Academy Cadence Song Editorial of a Madman Annoying Answers for some Nagging Questions!

ne of the things I had hoped to squeeze into the weeks he drifts away from the game, gets a job, finds a Tales from the Vault compilation (See the ad on girl friend etc. (In short he ‘finds a life’ outside the Opage 4) was a list of frequently-asked-questions game). B.A.’s solution is to lure him back to the table with answers. It seems every email and letter we receive where Dave’s character stumbles across a HackMaster has one or more questions tagged on, almost as an +13. afterthought. In the KODT strip that ran in Shadis #21 as the Well, one man’s oversight is another man’s filler group is reminicsing about past games, there seems to material. So I thought I would devote some space to be a hint that Brian was the original GM for the answer some of those questions. Now you can annoy group and that he may have even been B.A.’s your friends at the gaming table with a little KODT mentor?? What’s up with that? How come Brian trivia. doesn’t GM anymore? What do the letters B.A. stand for in B.A. Felton’s Yes, Brian introduced B.A. to role-playing (and name? HackMaster). That’s why he seems to know the rules B.A.’s full name is Boris Alphonzo Felton. It’s not frontwards and back. Many readers have commented hard to understand why he prefer’s to be called B.A. In that Brian often seems like a back-seat driver, constantly grade school, his classmates contracted his first and giving B.A. advice on how to run a game and questioning his calls. middle name and simply called him, Bozo. Why doesn’t Brian ever GM?? He had a bad Apparently a rumor is running around that the letters experience at GaryCon 89 running a sanctioned stand for “Bad Attitude”. I’m not sure how that one got HackMaster tournament. There scars were deep enough started. Brian quit role-playing for nearly a year. (Which is why Why does Dave always have a HackMaster +12 (a Brian does not appear in the first KODT strip). He rare relic) even when he is playing a new character? finally came back to the table as a player but to this day How come he doesn’t loose his sword when the has refused to sit behind the GM screen. (An upcoming owning character dies? issue of KODT will, however, feature Brian’s come-back Good question! If you read the expanded bios in the as a GM). Tales from the Vault there’s a clue. It comments how If you have other questions you’d like to see answers Dave used to “miss two gaming sessions for every for send them end. Hopefully, in the near future, we will session he attended”. post a complete FAQ on our website. That all changed when his character (El Ravager) found a HackMaster +12 sword (May 5, 1987 7:45 Good Reading, EST). From that point on Dave has rarely missed a game. The truth is, B.A. uses the HackMaster+12Sample as a file carrot to keep Dave interested in the game. Jolly R. Blackburn In an unpublished strip I did a few years ago, Dave October 15, 1997 does indeed loose his HackMaster. In the following ROLE-PLAYING GAMES THAT SHOULD NEVER BE: PART ONE “DAS BOOT: THE RPG”

OKAY, YOU SEE THIS CLASS I DON’T CARE IF IT ENCHANCES THE ONE DESTROYER REALISM OF THE GAME!!! I’M NOT BEARING DOWN ON YOU - 2000 CLIMBING UNDER THE TABLE EVERYTIME OUR SUB DIVES!!! METERS AND CLOSING!!! DIVE! DIVE¡ DIVE¡ HARD-RUDDER RIGHT 45 DEGREES!!! TAKE ME TO 80 METERS!!!! NO TIME TO TALK Fräulein !!! FLOOD TORPEDO TUBES 3 AND 4 WHILE I WORK OUT A TARGET- SOLUTION FOR THAT DESTROYER!!! Ja Kapitän !!!! HARD-RUDDER RIGHT 45 DEGREES!!!! WE GOT SONAR PING!!! CRIES FROM THE ATTIC Our Readers Talk Back! T

Dear KODT, reminds me how the group should return to Call of

I was at Gen Con, my first year, and, regretably, did not get Cuthulhu. MAIL ABLE TALK: READER into KODT while I was there. My brother snagged your Speaking of that system, here is a short story, which a comics while there and I had an order form shoved into my friend told to me. At a convention, there were 4 games of hand while I was passing your booth. I looked at an issue (#5 Call of Cuthulhu in the same large room. At one point, a I think) on the plane, and, by my next paycheck (I blew my player in game #1 says "Hastur." [Big trouble in the CoC entire wad at Gen Con) I had ordered issues 2 through 10, world.] Tales from the Vault, and a year subscription. The whole room goes silent. Completely silent. Then, all Keep it up, Jolly. KODT, actually inspired me to start a 4 gamemasters begin rolling dice, as the players at the other gaming group again. 3 games complained that the "forbidden name" had not been said in their game. Ethan Parker Keep up the good work; I look forward to reading in a via email sidebar B.A.'s Oath of Loyalty, when you get a chance to write it up. Thanks for your letter Ethan. I was especially struck by your last comment - that KODT inspired you to get your gaming group together again. We’ve been amazed at how David Rak many people have written in to tell us the same thing. via email Many readers confess they haven’t role-played in years and love KODT because it makes them remember their old Makes you wonder what happened to the poor guy who friends. I think sometimes we lose sight of the fact that it’s was foolish enough to speak the “forbidden name.” not the games we enjoy , nearly as much as the friends we Jolly, play them with. Jolly Dear KODT, Dear KODT, I have been gaming since I was ten. I started with basic My best congratulations! Your comic is one of the most D&D, and like many others, I'm sure, I rode the waves of funny books I have read in my life and, above all, the most gaming material that has come since, collectible card games, funny about gamers. I have read in the past your strip in the White Wolf genre, so on. Well, I dusted off the ADnD Shadis magazine but I was really pleased to find KODT in books about a year ago. At a recent game, I was handed a Dragon magazine. And, after a long, long time, I have found KODT comic and after reading it, I had to wipe a tear from an Italian comics distributor that carries KODT. I have my eye that was brought on by both laughter and great proposed a review of your comic for the Italian game memories of games-gone-by. I read every issue the player magazine KAOS. had and went and bought them for keep sakes. All but issue Thank you very much for the fun and keep up the good one and two, of course. Like so many others I have found old work! friends in your characters and just wanted to send you email Anonymous saying thanks. I also want to note I'm going to purchase via email (Italy) Kingdoms of Kalamar the box set and move my games into that world. I want to help support any gaming company that We love hearing from our overseas fans and alwaysSample glad to puts out suchfile a great monthly read. hear that the humor in KODT is apparently universal and transcends the language barrier. (We’ve been approached Sincerly, about licensing KODT tranlsations into several other Thomas Miller languages) If KAOS does happen to review KODT, I’d love to via email see a copy of it. Jolly Dear KODT, Dear KODT, My name is Bill Johnson. I've been a gamer for about 16 KODT #11 has just arrived, and I enjoyed it a great deal. I years now (give or take) and have recently stumbled upon think every gamer has met someone like Newt Forager in your comic in Dragon (and later purchased every available "The Empty Chair." What a shame Brian did not make KODT comic I could find) and I must say it is SUPERB! My Newt do the "pretzel-dance." friends in my gaming group wonder, as do I, if you have "The Venus Elixir" was too funny. It was nice to see been spying on us. :) Anyhow, I got you address out of Sara stretch her role playing muscles, as opposed to acting as KODT #4, and have decided to submit some of the more the group's Jiminy Cricket (the conscience that no one listens comical moments from some of my games. All I ask, is if to). Thank goodness Brian had not drank the Elixir. It would you do use some of them, you let me know so my friends have been panel after panel of mumbling and sputters. :) and I may keep an eye out for them. I don't remember if I mentioned it previously, but I am Bill Johnson really glad that you printed KODT:Tales from the Vault. It via email

GOT SOMETHING TO SAY??? HUH??? YOU CAN WRITE TO US VIA E-MAIL AT [email protected]!!!! OR YOU CAN SEND YOUR SNAIL MAIL TO KODT LETTERBOX,, 1003 MONROE PIKE, MARION, IN 46953 KODT FANS DEMANDED IT...

it’s all here!!!

crammed between two covers and bursting at the seams.

all the kodt strips that have appeared in:

dragonª __

shadisª __

the familiarª __

the gamer’s Sample file connectionª __

and elsewhere!! GET IT DIRECT order (made payable to Kenzer and Company) to: !!! Send a check or money ______• INCLUDES ORIGINAL KODT STRIPS Kenzer & Company NEVER BEFORE PUBLISHED! 195 S. Plum GroveMail OrderRd., Ste. Fulfillments 194 Palatine IL 60087 • EXPANDED BIOS OF YOUR FAVORITE or fax a valid Visa,______MasterCard, or Discover card number, your signature, card type and expiration date to us at KODT CHARACTERS

Please include $2.00 for shipping and handling. • KODT TRIVIA AND HISTORICAL NOTES (847) 397-2404 . • 64 PAGES AND ALL FOR JUST $9.95!! AVAILABLE NOW FROM YOUR LOCAL GAME OR COMIC SHOP!! A License to Hack

WEIRD PETE’S DAMMIT SQUIRRELY!!! QUIT PLAYIN’ OFFICAL HACKMASTERª WITH THE MOP AND FINISH THAT TOURNEY SITE FLOOR!!! I GOT A BURRITO-DATE Hack’’Noiia TONIGHT!! The Roleplaying GARY JACKSON CLOSED Game of Conspiracy PEZ DISPENSERS NOW IN STOCK!! and Espionage!! RING!! RING!!

50% OFF on all Novelty Cheese Dice!! COME IN AND JUST IN!! ARMWRESTLE BITTER STEVIL’s HE THE MONKEY GAME PULPIT!! have you BEWARE T FOR A BUCK!! seen it?? SMILING LIZARD

GAMES PIT, SORRY WE’RE CLOSED!! IT’S HERE?? IT’S REALLY HERE??? OH THANK GAWD, PETE!!! WE WERE WORRIED. BRIAN HUH? WHAT’S THAT?? OH HELLO, B.A. READ ON THE HACKMASTER NEWSGROUP THAT THE SHIPPING DEPARTMENT YEAH...YEAH, YOUR ORDER ARRIVED LATE THIS AT HARD EIGHT ENTERPRISES WENT ON STRIKE. I WAS AFRAID MY ORDER AFTERNOON. I TOOK THE LIBERTY OF BREAKING THE WOULD BE IN LIMBO!!! YEAH...YEAH...THANKS. I’LL BE OVER FIRST THING IN THE MORNING!! SHRINK-WRAP TO MAKE SURE EVERYTHING WAS THERE. YOU CAN PICK IT UP IN THE MORNING. HACKNOIA’S IN??? WHAT A RELIEF!! I CAN’T WAIT TO GET MY HANDS ON A CHARACTER DOSSIER HMMMM, MY AND START WORKIN’ ON MY CHARACTER!!! SOURCES HAVE NEVER BEEN WRONG BEFORE!! THEY MUST HAVE AWESOME!!! I ALREADY SETTLED THE STRIKE!! HAVE A NAME FOR MY CAN’T WAIT CHARACTER PICKED OUT. TO PLAY!!

Sample file

OKAY, I’LL PICK UP HACKNOIA AND FOUR CHARACTER I’M GONNA KICK-ASS!!! I’VE BEEN READING THOSE DOSSIER PACKETS IN THE MORNING. YOU GUYS CAN PICK UP FBI CORRESPONDENCE COURSES YOUR DOSSIER’S TOMMOROW AFTERNOON AND START WORKING ON YOUR I SIGNED UP FOR WHEN MY DAD GOT SUSPICIOUS ABOUT THOSE CHARACTERS SO THAT THEY ARE READY FOR NEXT WEEK’S GAME!! INTERVIEWS I WAS SUPPOSED TO HAVE.* I’M A WIZ ON INVESTIGATIVE PROCEDURE AND COVERT SKILLS!!

EXCELLENT!!! AND SARA SAID “NO I BELIEVE IN BAD GOOD EVER COMES FROM A LIE!” KARMA, THAT’S ALL! WHAT A JOKE!!

THIS IS GOING TO BE THE BEST ROLEPLAYING GAME EVER¡¡

* See KODT #11: The Empty Chair 5