Chapter Three Amrita Pritam: The Revenue Stamp and HarivanshRaiBachchan: In the Afternoon of Time • Chapter III

(i) AmritaPritam '.The Revenue Stamp

(ii) Hariwansh Rai Bachchan: In the Afternoon of Time

The present chapter discusses those two writers who have made a mark in the

Hterature of their regional languages, and consequently in India and abroad. Amrita Pritam is the first woman writer in the Punjabi literature emerged as a revolutionary poet and novelist who illuminated the predicament of women caused by shackles of traditions and patriarchy.

Harvansh Rai Bachchan is the important name in the movement of 'Nayi Kavita'. He created a new wave of poetry among the admirers by his book Madhushala. With the publication of this book, he became one of the most admired poets in Hindi literary world.

Amrita Pritam was a prolific writer and a versatile genius. She published more than

100 books of poetry, fiction, biographies, essays, translations of foreign writers' works, such as Bulgarian poets Iran Vazovand Haristobotev, a Hungarian poet Attila Josef etc., as well as a collection of Punjabi folk songs and autobiographies. Apart from The Revenue Stamp, she wrote one more autobiography Aksharon Ke Sayen (Shadows of Words) published in

1999.She was a rebel who lived her life in her own way with utmost intensity. This intensity, this passion is the soul of her writing.

Before we plunge into a detailed discussion of her autobiography vis-a-vis her writings, it is useful to understand how she grew as an individual, what forces shaped her character and her mind, which people she learned from and grew as a writer. Bom on August

31, 1919 as Amrit Kaur, at Gujranwala, Punjab (now in Pakistan), Amrita was the only offspring of Kartar Singh Hitkari and Raj Bibi. She started to write poetry at the age of 12.

Her first collection of poems Amrit Laharen was published in 1936 and the same year she was

89 married to Pritam Singh, the son of a hosiery merchant in Lahore, whom she had been betrothed at the age of four. Then her name changed from Amrita Kaur to Amrita Pritam.

Once she started writing in 1936, she prolifically continued composing several poems and had published six collections of poems by 1943. Initially Amrita used to write romantic poems though she gradually came under the influence of the Progressive Writers' Movement, and became a member of it. The Progressive Writers' Movement in India was a response to a warning given by great western writers in a meet held in Paris (1935) against fascism and an appeal to the writers of the world for the welfare of common people. They advocated equality and attacked social injustice and backwardness. The great Hindi writer Munshi Premchand was the chairman of it. Poets and writers such as Sadat Hassan Manto, Faiz Ahmed Faiz,

Bhisham Sahani, Rajinder Singh Bedi, Sahir Ludhiyanvi, Majnun and Firaq Gorakhpuri etc. were members of the movement. In 1944, her collection of poems Lok /'ee(i(People's

Anguish) was published in which she criticized the war-torn economy in the aftermath of the

Bengal famine of 1943. She developed into a bold writer who expressed herself freely without any fear of the consequences. She also edited Nagmani, a poetry monthly.

She met Sahir Ludhiyanvi a famous Urdu and Hindi poet who wrote many immortal songs for Hindi films. She fell madly in love with him. She has written about this 'untold' love in her autobiography frankly. She lived in Lahore even after her marriage. However, she had to leave Lahore and go to Delhi as a refugee due to the Partition. When she was at Lahore she worked at Lahore Radio station. In Delhi also she worked in the Punjabi Broadcasting division of All India Radio, till 1961.

Meanwhile she had started to write stories and novels also. In 1960, she left her husband. After separation her writing became more feminist. She always wrote about the plight of women in their multiple social and domestic roles, highlighting their struggle to find their identity. Her writing after 1960 deals more and more with women, who acknowledge

90 their desires, assert their independence and accept responsibilities for their lives even at the cost of love.

With seniority came maturity and with maturity followed Awards and honours of various types, at state, national and even international levels. Amrita Pritam is the first woman achiever of the Sahitya Akademy Award in 1956, as well as the first recipient of

Punjab Ratna Award. She received the Padma Shree in 1969, and Padma Vibhushan in 2001.

She also received honorary D.Litt. degrees from many universities including Delhi University

(1973) and Vishwa Bharati (1987). She received the International Vapstrov Award from the

Republic of Bulgaria in 1980. She was honoured with India's highest literary award-Bharatiya

Janpeeth Award in 1982. She worked as a Member of Rajya Sabha, from 1986 to 1992. She was involved in social work to certain extent. She was instrumental to begin the first Janta

Library in Delhi. This study center-cum-library is still functional at Clock Tower, Delhi.

In Delhi she met Imroz (nee Inderjeet), the famous painter of the day, when she was

41 years old. She developed a long term relationship with this famous artist with whom she lived for the rest of her life. Their life together has become a subject of a book Amrita Imroz:

A Love Story by Uma Trilok.

She died in sleep on 31 October, 2005 at the age of 86 in New Delhi, after a long illness. In her career as a writer spanning over six decades, she penned eighteen collections of poetry, twenty eight novels, eighteen anthologies of prose, five collections of short stories and sixteen miscellaneous prose volumes.

Poetry anthologies: Amrit Lehran (Immortal Waves)-1936, Jiunda Jiwan (The Exuberant

Life)- 1939, Trel Dhote Phul-1942, O Gitan Valia-\9A2, Badlam De Laali-\943, Sanjh de

Laali-\943, Lok Pee^-(The People's Anguish)-1944, Pathar Geetey (The Pebbles)-1946,

91 Punjab Di Aawaaz -1952, Sunehare (Messages)- 1955, Ashoka Cheti- 1957, Kasturi-\951,

ChakNambar Chatti -1964, Kagaz Te Kanvas-\9^\.

Novels: Doctor Dev-1949, Pmjar-\950, Kore Kagaz-\9S2, Unchas Dm-1979, Ek Si Anita-

1964 Dharti, Sagar aur Seepian-1965, Rang ka Patta\963, Dilliki Galiyan\96%, Terahwan

Suraj-\979, Yaatri\91\,Jala Vatan\970, HardattKa Zindaginama-\9S3.

Autobiographies: Rasidi Ticket (The Revenue Stamp){\916), Aksharon ke Saayen (Shadows of

Words) (2004)

Collections of ShortStories:

Kahaniyanjo Kahaniyan Nahi, Kahaniyon ke Angan mein. Stench of Kerosene

Literary journal: Nagmani, a poetry monthly.

In a patriarchal social setup it even today takes great courage for a woman to write an autobiography. Narrating the predicament of a woman writer Shobha De says: 'For a woman, a book in progress is like a secret lover she has to hide from her family and so people are terrified at the thought of writing about themselves. They find all kinds of excuses. They lie.

They make up. They invent. They rub out.'(De, 1998:1-2). Amrita Pritam wrote Rasidi Ticket in Punjabi in 1976. It was translated in many Indian and foreign languages immediately. The present study uses the English rendering done by Krishna Gorowara in 1977 entitled The

Revenue Stamp.

Amrita Pritam adopts a linear mode of writing and keeps to the chronology of events more or less. Her story is laid out in a series of episodes that open the door of some of the exciting and shaping events in her life. A writer's life is what his/her creative writings show directly or otherwise. It was, therefore, a challenge for her to identify those areas of experience in her life that she had not dealt with for certain obvious reasons. It is a perennial

92 challenge for a writer of autobiography what to say and what to leave unsaid, for total truth may not be said at all. Writers often choose to be selective and come out with some kind of justification. In such a case the writing becomes subjective and lopsided. However, Amrita was made of a sterner stuff and chose the dare all, bare all approach. In an interview she says,

"By the time I came to write The Revenue Stamp everything was already paired by me in fiction and poetry. I thought I should not report the same. Instead, I incorporated the things I wanted to write and could not." (Varma, 2000:124-125)

In the prologue to, The Revenue Stamp, Amrita Pritam declares that the complete texture of her book is threaded by her personal feeling. She reveals her feminine agony openly in this book and agrees that her other books too depict the same agonized experiences and feelings but with a mask. It is discussed in the present chapter to observe the growth of Amrita

Pritam as a poet and a writer. However, only in autobiography the writer can narrate in confessional mode.

Although Amrita Pritam's autobiography does not read like a cohesive story, one can get an idea of what her life was like. Amrita has woven a huge mass of personal experiences into the texture of her writings. It is necessary, therefore, to analyze those experiences of her life which have direct bearing on her writings. Her experience of growing up as a lonely child accounts for acute emotional vacuum in her writings. She was neither happy nor satisfied in her married life, the evidences of which very often get in her autobiography and numerous other writings.

Amrita Pritam has divided her autobiography in six chapters. In the first chapter

'Resurrecting Time' she speedily winds up forty one years of her life highlighting certain events of her personal life as well as the socio-political situation. The second chapter 'Meeting with Centuries' deals with her visits to different countries including Russia, Bulgaria,

93 Yugoslavia, Armenia, Rumania, Hungary and many others. She met and befriended many poets, translations of her poems were done by her friends in many foreign languages and she also translated their poetry. While she got many friends abroad, in India many contemporaries became her rivals. The third chapter is about her struggle and aptly entitled 'Ordeal by Fire'.

The fourth chapter, Tn Silence Passion Smote', discusses about her creativity, and she puts many such examples showing the relation between her own life and her literary works.

Chapter five 'The Phoenician Dynasty' explains her notion of writers as 'the Phoenicians'.

And the last chapter 'On One Palm Henna...on the Other Blisters' narrates some sweet and bitter events which took place simultaneously in her life.

It is exciting and revealing to get into the details of the autobiography. Amrita's autobiography begins with the pre-marriage days of her parents. Their marriage took place in queer conditions. Mother Raj Bibi met a young man 'Nand Sadhu' at Dayalji's ashram. When

Nand Sadhu saw Raj Bibi he could not take his eyes away. It was something unusual/revolutionary that he discarded his life as a sadhu and married Raj Bibi. Both were teachers. Later, Nand Sadhu changed his name as Kartar Singh Hitkari. Though Kartar Singh married, his nature remained abstemious. Amrita narrates an incident told by her mother how he gave his own house to a sadhu's brother as there was a problem in his marriage because he was homeless.

When Amrita was just 11 years old, her mother died, ~a time in the life of a girl when she needs her mother most. The death of mother shattered Amrita's belief in God. When her mother fell ill, Amrita was told to pray to God as God listens to small children. But her prayers did not stop the death of her mother. It was a moment of disillusion in the life of a sensitive girl. Her poem 'Image' reflects her feelings,

Stone God

94 All your semes are frozen

And never melt.

Your blood has been sleeping for centuries

And still does not stir.

(Translation Charles Brasch)

Her father was a poet, an editor of Preet Laharen as well as a preacher of the Sikh religion. He insisted and forced her for daily prayers. He was a typical patriarch of his days and never allowed anybody to befriend Amrita. Loneliness affected the young girl with the restrictions of tradition and customs. To shoo away her loneliness she imagined a companion, a youth, named Rajan. She was so involved in this imaginary Rajan that, when they recited prayers at night for safety of their house, she mumbled some lines from memory deliberately so the 'Security Fort' built by the prayers every day would get some gaps open for Rajan to enter her dreams! She says, 'Abstractions have no meaning for me. Each entity must take on some sort of shape or form... that I can touch, that in fact, can fill me with a touch.' (Pritam,

1994:7) In the following poem she uses the image of a child for a piece of sunshine, who

'holds' her hand. Thus she feels the 'touch'.

Dhoop ka Tukda (A Piece of Sunshine) / remember the time When a piece of sunshine

Came with the sun

To see thefest of night,

And lost in the crowd.

I think frenzy and loneliness are kins. I am nobody to the child, But the bewildered child held my hand.

95 (Translation added)(Pritam, Chuni Hui Kavitaen, Bhartiya Gnanpeeth, 2005)

The piece of sun shine/ sun ray that gives light to others, itself is lost in the crowd of the festival of darkness! Her loneliness is sensed by the bewildered child and it has instinctively holds her hand.

In her autobiography, she symbolically refers to the patriarchal limitations. This is best reflected in her dreams. Remembering her childhood days as an adult writer at the age of forty, she represents in her dreams 'forts', symbolizing societal walls that were raised and demolished around her. But her bold spirit takes a leap over such a limitation. She observes,

"I dreamt of a great big dark castle, with my little self a prisoner within . . . Fearless, I flew over the vast expense of the earth below . . . the guards flailing their arms but failing to reach out and catch me (Ptitam, 1996:10).

Though brought up in a repressing atmosphere, Amrita reflects on how the seeds of resistance too were sown in her in the same house. Amrita inherited her revolting nature from her father. It started from the kitchen where her grandmother was the supreme. She kept three glass tumbles away from all other pots. They were used for Father's Muslim friends to serve them tea or butter milk. Little Amrita decided not to drink from any other tumbler but one of these three. Grandmother was ready to let her remain thirsty than to use the tumblers for her.

But when father knew the story, he opposed his mother for doing so. Amrita became successful in her revolt. Thereafter, she notes, not a single utensil was labeled "Hindu" or

"Muslim". Her nature of revolt can be seen in many of her stories and poems. For instance, in a poem "Not Today" she says-

/ always do the right thing But not today I always do what people ask But not today—

96 No! (Translated by Charles Brasch)

When the mother died, father lost his interest in life. There was only one bond -

Amrita for him. 'Love for me and desire for complete withdrawal were the two conflicting forces that tormented him' (P. 4). Amrita sensed it while she was just a small girl. She was always in conflict of acceptance or rejection by father. After the death of her mother, Amrita and her father moved to Lahore. Her father wanted her to write poetry as he himself was a poet. He even taught her the first lesson of metrical composition. But he expected Amrita to write religious verse, conventional and orthodox in content. Amrita also started writing poems. Both renunciation and riches she inherited from her father. With this she also inherited love and respect for 'written word' and she continued it all her life. With this she learnt to respect all writers. Amrita had no option but to follow the orders of her patriarch father obediently. She had to marry because of the insistence of her father to a person she did not wish. She narrates the night of her wedding when she wept bitterly as she did not want to marry.

The Indian woman, under the burden of the traditions and restrictions of the society, either lives as a small girl or at once becomes a mature woman. She is not allowed to enjoy her youth. In such circumstances came her sixteenth year. She writes about her sixteenth year very particularly, 'Like a thief, came my sixteenth year, stealthily like a prowler in the night, stealing in through the open window at the head of my bed...' (Pritam, 1996:11). She compares her sixteenth year to an apsara who is supposed to disturb the meditations of a rishi for Lord

Indra, the king of the gods. "My sixteenth year must also have been Lord Indra's work, invading the purity of my childhood. It was now that I began to write poetry, and on every poem I wrote, I carried the cross of forbidden desires. My rebellious thoughts pushed me, giving me no peace. "(P. 12). Her trauma is reflected in her poems and short stories. Ranjana

97 Ash comments, "Conservatives who want to keep their daughters segregated from men lest their virginal purity be defiled are satirized in the poem, 'The Guardians':

How anxious they are About their neighbour's daughter And that neighbour's son How careful of their welfare... Spending hours Looking through cracks And through key holes... Peering under broken blinds And craning round corners... (Charles Brasch with Amrita Pritam: The Black Rose)

The poems she wrote were not what her father told her to write, the poems in praise of god and saints. She was afraid of him and tore her poems into bits and wrote poems on religion in conventional style, as he expected. So her 16th year came and went without any significant event. But it was a phase when she started to question parental authority and 'the entire stratified social scheme'. (Pritam, Amrita, 1994:12 ) The sixteenth year had its marks on

Amrita's life, three times with greater impact. First there was the drabness of middle class morality; secondly the dosage of "don'f's thrust on her and thirdly, at the time of partition of the country, in 1947, when all social, political and religious values came crashing down like glass smashed into smithereens under the feet of people in flight ...'I wrote my hymns for the suffering of those who were abducted and raped .... In the haunting image of beauty and in the anger at wrong and cruelty, my 16th year stretches on and on ....'(p. 13).

The rebellion is rooted in the soil of discontent, disillusionment and disabling circumstances. The seed of her creativity and rebellious nature was sown in her childhood and

98 teenage agony; this agony was resultant from loneliness and lack of love. Deprivation of anything attracts the fulfillment of the same thing. This is what happens with her. The deprivation of love attracts Amrita towards the deep desire of its fulfillment. A woman's life is related to love in various forms. The concept of love it has occupied a very important place in

Amrita Pritam's autobiography.

She has created an image of an ideal lover in her visions in girlhood. She cherished this image with a romantic quest for realizing it in life. It was her dreamy instinct in the beginning and a philosophical vision later on, that she recalls, "A deep dark shadow walked along my side... the face of my ideal lover and mine that I imagined growing wiser, stronger, and more mature."(p.l4).

From her childhood, Amrita never liked the division on the basis of caste or religion.

As it is seen earlier, she revolted against her grandmother who kept separate tumblers for the

Muslim friends of her father. 'Neither Grandmother nor I knew then that the man I was to fall in love with would be of the same faith as the branded utensils were meant for", (p. 5)Is this xenomania/xenophilia,~attraction of the exotic, the unknown? Or perhaps too much restrictions of patriarchy, tradition, religion made her revolt against them. Just like her first love Sahir, her true friend, Sajjad Haider, was also a Muslim, and her famous poem "Ajji

Akkhan Waris Shah Nu" is addressed to a Muslim Sufi poet.

She has boldly as well as frankly written about her passion and love for Sahir

Ludhianvi, However, she could not express her love for him because of her own shyness. She was married when she fell in love with Sahir, but she never mentions her marriage! Its irony that most of the autobiographies of women, suggest that they don't like their husbands, who were, perhaps, self-centered, insensitive monsters. So, her avoiding mentioning her marriage is no surprise. It is very significant to notice that Amrita Pritam has not given much space,

99 rather ignored the details of her marital life and relationship with her husband. In her narrative, there are brief references to marriage; husband and domestic life and they are very casual. She exploits the autobiographer's freedom of editing and omitting especially about the details of marriage and her husband. According to Shraddha Parate, 'Rasidi Ticket is the story of a woman who never got involved in her marital life. She creates her own congruous idea in her contemplation and meditates the incarnation she confronts in Sahir.'(Parate, Shraddha,

2005:34).

She has given account of some important moments in her life related to her emotions for

Sahir. She took to the habit of smoking by smoking the butts of cigarettes left by Sahir when he came to her house i.e. in the house of her husband.

There was a pain That like cigarettes I inhaled quietly Just a few poems remain That I flicked along

With ash from the HD ' I "^^ "^ Cigarettes, (undated poem, from, Shairii) Amrita's Sunehere (Messages, 1955) is a collection of poems inspired by and written for Sahir. Each poem depicts one phase of the relationship. In "Ve Pardesiya" (O Traveller) the excitement of a new friendship begins. There is progression in successive poems which express the joy of the union. Then the inevitable end when Sahir leaves, Amrita views the miles of desert before her. Later, Sunehere was awarded the highest Sahitya Akademi Award in 1957. When the reporter came to interview her, the photographer of the press wanted to pose her engrossed in the act of writing. She took a pen and paper on the table and started writing, as if in a trance. And she wrote only the name Sahir and filled the paper completely.

100

Sppi I pM^ Her long cherished love was not voiced until the later years of her life. It is essential to note here that Amrita despite all her rebellious ideas and bold expression was a very shy woman as a beloved. In the present autobiography, she confesses how she modeled her male protagonists after Sahir and her deep love for him through her female characters. The characters of Iqbal and Chetana in Dharti, Sugar Aur Seepiyan, Sunderan and the man she worshipped as her love from her novel Yatri are some examples. Her passion for Sahir was so intense that when she was pregnant with her son, she always thought of Sahir, and her son's features resembled Sahir! The researcher finds it impossible, as there is no such reference seen that mere passion casts any influence on human foetus! Later, they met at a meeting of poets and spent two days together. After that they never met. Amrita Pritam's apprehension of her

'self within a sexual code impelled her to shield the image and reality of her ideal love, that is, her love for Sahir that she could fictionalize. In her reaction to Sahir's death, she recalls the purity she cherished in their relationship, "No words came between our friendship. It was a beautiful relationship in silence The dignity of a blank paper is even there today." (Pritam,

1996:154).There seems much writing in secret ink on the "blank" paper! The researcher has tried to find more about their relationship, but everywhere there were the same remarks by critics. Even a critic searched this relation the other way that is from Sahir's point of view.

Overall observation is that Sahir, like Amrita, also had been under the pressure of tradition, religion and circumstances. In fact his shairii is the result of his restlessness and failure in love.

Her love for Sahir became a passion for her though she could never express it. The researcher is tempted here to compare her passionate love for Sahir with that of W. B. Yeats's passionate love for a beautiful and intelligent lady Maud Gonne. Many women came in Yeats' life but his passion for her always remained a force, creative force for his genius as a poet.

Similarly, Amrita's love for Sahir is a creative force for her writing.

101 Similarly she speaks about her relationship, with her 'true friend', as she mentions the

Pakistani writer Sajjad Haider. Sajjad Haider often met her when she lived in Lahore. When she left Lahore due to partition of the country, she came to Delhi with her family. However, she continued her friendship by writing letters to Sajjad. She describes Sajjad Haider as

'woundrous soul'.(p. 16).She recounts episodes in her life featuring these men. She is completely honest about how she feels about them, and gives out no sleazy details. One thing is to be noted here. Again, Amrita does not give any personal details about these three men.

She does not go in details about their lives or how she came to know them. Another lover in her life is Imroz the painter who devoted himself to her care and she finally accepted him as her ultimate man. In her narration she accepts, "The course my lonesome state has been broken through... by Imroz..." (p. 17) Was h that she was so weak and self-centered that she always looked to these men for help? One may find her narcissistic, the one who loves oneself and finds shelter for his/her love in the company of the people selected by him/her. And she does not mention a single name of a woman friend!

Her work, the celebrated 'Aji Akkhan Waris Shah Nu' (Today I Invoke Waris Shah), a poem addressed to the 18 century Punjabi Sufi poet, who expressed his concern for one girl of Punjab, Heer, for the torture she had to suffer and wrote the immortal saga Heer Ranza.

This poem was inspired by the mindless bloodbath of 1947 partition and the barbarous physical abuse women suffered on both sides of the border. She says,

Waris Shah Speak from the depths of the grave To Waris Shah I say

And add a new page to your saga of love Today. Once wept a daughter of Punjab,

102 Your pen unleashed a million cries,

A million daughters weep today,

To you, Waris Shah, they turn their eyes.

Amrita reaches beyond any religion or caste and speaks as a human being. The only thing she thinks is the expression of the pain, torture women had to suffer. She thought that a great poet like him alone could bewail the loss of Heers, who became victims of the lust of men. Such work knows no boundaries. Her poem was widely acclaimed both in India and Pakistan. The

Pakistani poets told her how they had annual celebration in the name of Waris Shah with folk- dances, folk-songs as well as poets' symposium. Her poem was sung here with great reverence. Some wounds never heal completely. Partition is such a wound in the heart of India which is still fresh! Amrita has written many poems on the trauma of partition as was faced by women of Punjab. In a poem T am the Cursed Daughter of Punjab from History' she compares Punjab's partition with the anguish of an abducted woman.

/ am the cursed daughter of Punjab.

Just look at my fate.

How can I speak — My tongue is cracked My hands are tied together

And my feet are bound. (translation-Nonica Dutta, 2016:107)

In yet another poem 'Helplessness' she describes the trauma of rape through the metaphor of a mother's womb. The womb is the victim of partition's madness. In the present poem the accursed child bom after the brutal rape speaks:

My mother's womb was helpless I too am a human being I am the mark of that bruise

103 When Indepedence dealt its blow

I am the symbol of that accident

Which left its mark upon my mother's forehead.

(translation- Nonica Dutta 2016:110)

The irony is that when the nation was getting freedom, these women had lost their right to live as per their wish!

In "The Story of Punjab", she captures the rural landscape and the shattering of everyday life.

Nonika Dutta says, "Amrita expresses her disillusionment with independence, nation and the newly drawn territorial boundries that destroyed the rhythm and dreams of everyday life."

(2016. P. Ill)

However, when she wrote her immortal poem 'Ajji Akkhan Waris Shah nu", her contemporaries criticised her why she didn't write invoking Guru Nanak or any other Sikh guru instead! They couldn't understand the anguish of Amrita. Like many of her literary works, this poem also became a prey to the bitter criticism of her contemporaries.

The most conspicuous trait that is evident in Amrita's autobiography is a woman's battle against authoritarian and male hegemonic discourse. Her short story collections like

Kachche Resham Si Ladaki show the plight of women living in rural area of Punjab. In a story

'Kokli', Amrita writes about a cruel custom in a tribe of fishermen. On the very night of marriage, a young girl, who is getting married with romantic dreams, has to pass a test of being a virgin. If she bleeds when she is with her husband for the first time she passes the test!

(Kacche Resham Si Ladaki)She is critical when she writes about the oppression and subjugation of women through patriarchal domination. In a poem she expresses the neglect of a pregnant wife who waits for her husband who is perhaps enjoying a glass of wine or the company of a prostitute:

104 Night half gone Half to go: I sit under the roof

Of your father and your father's father By low candle light Expecting your unsteady feet The hateful smell of wine On your breath I, yes, I

1 the mother of your child to be born. (Brasch, Delhi; 5. Nagmani)

Amrita Pritam talks of debt of every type in the very first chapter subtitling 'Debt', she seems to discuss debts one has to pay back. These can be the debts of the society, the heritage/culture which one has to pay. She says, "My mother's mother and her mother's mother - every woman's mother had looted the sixteen graces in some mutiny against society.

Those graces and arts should have passed on from generation to generation. I had to repay that debt to society". (P. 28) It is perhaps the sixteen sanskaras and the great heritage of all arts she is talking about. Every woman has to pay it back. But how? She does not speak about it.

She writes about how she left her husband. It was a very good understanding they had with each other. It is true that a typical common man like her husband did not have strength to come to terms with an extraordinarily remarkable woman like Amrita nor could he understand her psychological depth. The reasons why she got separated from her husband on the other hand, seem to be rooted in personal. In this autobiography she says, "We would not work out living together....neither of us had any grievance against each other. The decision was taken after long discussions in a friendly manner." (p 29)

Fellow - traveller we are parting company today.

105 This distance between us will grow... (p. 28)

She says that though she left him, she very intensely feels the loneliness of her ex- husband. She had Imroz with her for the rest of her life but her husband did not have anybody!

He remained all alone in his life. A question is: Isn't it that she shows pseudo-sympathy for him? Even after separation they met each other like friends. Amrita says she is proud of herself since she has not allowed the prestige of her family to suffer, nor has she fallen for any of the usually accepted social sanctions. She thinks that she has been able to pay back the debts she owed. How has she paid it? By leaving her husband or meeting him as a friend after separation? It is highly confusing. At one place she writes about a debt which she could not pay back and in the same chapter she expresses her relief that she has paid it! Moreover, the researcher has not cited any reference to what Pritam Singh had said!

1960 was the saddest year in Amrita's life. She had recently separated from her husband. And she had to see Sahir with his new love, the singer Sudha Malhotra. She saw their photo in Blitz , a cinemagazine. She says, "My saddest verse belongs to this year." (p.

34) It was love for Sahir when she wrote:

Again I remembered you:

Again I kissed the flame

Love may well be the cup of poison

Again I asked for a mouthful, (undated poem from Sharii.)

She was still uncertain in her friendship with Imroz. But she recovered herself with the love of

Imroz. Those days her Russian friends pulled her out of the quagmire of the mental agony.

Amrita has always been criticised for her wayward lifestyle by contemporary writers in Punjabi. But she says they have nothing to do with the tenor of her life. In a patriarchal society her male contemporaries could not bear a more sensible, a more intellectual woman

106 than themselves. On one side she is praised by the whole world and on the other the contemporary Punjabi writers are aggressive to declare Nagmani (a magazine she edited) as

'Pornographic'. An author goes much further to say that her poems also are sexy! She narrates many incidents when her poems or short stories were excluded from anthologies and university syllabi due to jealousy or giving some economic reasons. She was well aware that many of her contemporaries wrote letters to many newspapers and to the All India Radio to knock her name off their boards. She was hurt by their behavior. Her poems written in this time depict her thoughts. For example, her poem "The Death of a Friendship" is based on one such experience:

There was to be an end of the friendhip, so it ended.... Good my friend! Speak of it in amity or disdain Whatever you feel.... It makes no difference now

If you enshroud it in splendid brocade or wretched rags. (P. 61) Taking an example from the Mahabharata, she compares her lifelong conflicts with

Yudhisthir, standing in the field of life. She mentions many names of her contemporaries with whom she wanted to be friends but could not. She always carried a sense of 'community' for all those 'who live by the pen' but she is sad because her contemporaries never understood it!

But she was successful in going through this ordeal only with the love and support of her friends in India and abroad!

She humbly expresses her gratefulness for the response from her readers. In an incident during the Bangladesh war, a jawan came to Delhi only to meet Amrita. He told the woes of Bengali refugee women. However, what he wanted to tell her was that, the effect of her novels on those Indian soldiers was so great that they dared not treat those women with

107 disrespect! What a writer demands more than such a golden moment! Her heart filled with gratitude! She felt whatever she had written had at last reached exact place, exact hands.

Similarly, Amrita is grateful when she writes about her 'treasure', the gifts given to her by her friends abroad, as well as she expresses her gratitude for all those writers and poets who translated her poems and stories. It is the translation in Hindi that gave her economic stability.

She calls these moments "patches of sunshine" in her life.

She gives her reflection that all those incidents she has witnessed, heard or gone through '..find their way ... into creative work. At others they get submerged in the labyrinthine subconscious and yet surprisingly.. The subconscious influences your imaginative concepts! (p.94).

She was a woman who lived on her terms in an age where it was hard to do so. She did not care for the consequences. One can see in her photograph how she had cut her hair, a boy- cut. In the Sikh religion, where the cutting of the hair, even of men is, or rather, was, prohibited, Amrita took this bold step! When she decided to leave her husband and live with

Imroz in 'live-in' relationship, it was again a revolutionary step in the tradition bound society.

She was firm on her decision for the rest of her life. Amrita is full of love and pride for Imroz!

Though she does not compare Sahir and Imroz, once she says, "There is one kind of love like that of the sky. There is another one which is like a roof over one's head. Sahir was like the sky, Imroz became my shelter, a roof over my head." (Anees Jung talks to Amrita Pritam. P.

5, Kafla) She praises him as a genius - his art, his creativity, his love for her. She thinks that people could not understand his art. Despite many innovative ideas, he did not get much success. He prepared jackets not only for her books but also for Sahir's books as well as others. Both of them supported each other in financial difficulfies. He gave her space and provided support to her always. Till the death of Amrita, Imroz took care of her like a child!

108 On the personal front, Pritam has dwelt on her failed first marriage, her relationship with Imroz and her rather unique and probably unrequited love for Sahir Ludhiyanvi. In her beliefs and writings, Amrita Pritam was much ahead of her times and consequently, had to face the angst of society. All this has been beautifully and lyrically brought out in this autobiography.

In the very first chapter she tells that she values honesty and truth over everything else.

She herself had trodden the path of truth courageously and boldly. She always heard what her heart told her to do. For some it may be a wayward, rash, uninhibited life. She knew very well how hard it is. Yet, ardently, she went on the path of truth and went near the goal of her life.

The goal of her life can be what she did for herself, finding her own identity in the traditionally bound society, to create her own place as a human being (not only a woman) who has every right to live and to enjoy her own life. For Amrita truth is 'honest thought that brings about harmony between the body and the mind ... Like, in a well-tuned musical instrument.'(p. 77). In an interview with the great critic Raka Sinha Amrita speaks on many subjects. Raka Sinha observes that the complexities of love, the torment of human mind, loneliness and pain have also moved her to put pen on paper. She says, "I do write about love but not in narrow sense. Love means relationship. The first relationship is with your own self, then with the person you like, admire, and then with society, different creeds, caste, colour- love between rulers and the ruled, love between countries". (Kafla,Jan- April 1995, p.8.)

Though love, longing and despair were true - but Amrita's life is much more than that. She was a woman who lived on her terms in an age where it was hard to do so.

Some of Amrita's novels are made into films. One of them was Dharti Sagar Aur

Sippiyan, as Kadambari. Chetana is a bold, educated girl who loves Dr. Iqbal, a Muslim youth, and demands the first encounter of a woman with a man from him. She never tells him that she has given birth to a son. It is Iqbal's mother who sees the child having the same sign

109 as on the body of Iqbal and insists them to marry. She herself is the victim of rape from a jamindar and thus Iqbal was born. She doesn't want Iqbal and Chetana's child should suffer the illegitimacy. Thus an illiterate woman very easily surpasses her daughter-in-law. Chetana is Amrita herself and Iqbal is nobody but Sahir.

Chandra Prakash Dviwedi made her novel Pinjar, (The Skeleton) into an award wirming Hindi movie because of its humanism. The narrative follows the abduction of

Pooro,the daughter of a Hindu moneylender in a West Punjab village, by Rashid, a young

Muslim farmer, who is avenging a dishonor done to his family. Pooro bravely escapes herself and returns home. Her parents refuse to accept her for the fear of severe criticism by their biraderi. Pooro's fiancee Ram Chand,is quickly married off to her younger sister. She has to go to Rashid. Rashid, who has not touched her yet, demands she be converted to Islam, and become his wife. Now she becomes Hamida. As a woman, Hameeda- Pooro gets to know the unhappy lives of other women in their village. Women married off to cruel husbands by equally callous fathers, women dying by hunger and disease etc. She accepts Rashid and even begins to love him. As a climax, partition of the country takes place, 'Just as a peeled orange falls apart into many segments, the Hindus, Muslims and Sikhs of the Punjab broke away from each other.'(Pm7ar,1950: 63) After the violence and terror both the new governments agree that there should be a rescue programme and rehabilitation for abducted women.

Hamida gets to know that her brother has come to search his wife. She successfully rescues her sister-in-law and takes her to the rescue camp. Her brother appeals her to return. Hamida refiises. Her home is where her husband and two children are, in Pakistan. She tells her brother that when an abducted girl is accepted by her family, she will also be with them in spirit. Hamida -Pooro symbolizes the unity of Punjab and, on the higher level of humanity.

This rises above all escapades and adventures, making her a great writer. Humanism means tolerance and forgiveness. She sets an example in front of people to think sympathetically

110 about the innocent women who become victims of the lust of men, Hindu or Muslim. This work established her as a voice for the women who suffered immeasurable hardships during the partition. The third novel made into film was Dakku, (Dacoit 1976) directed by Basu

Bhattacharya.

The characters of her novels and poems mirror individuals who are fighting against the wrongs prevailing in society. To her, the essence of life is self-realization, to know oneself and then reach beyond. It comes when one tries to do only best during their span of life. Not only Amrita appears in her characters, but her love Sahir and her father also, take shape of her characters. Mahant Kirpa Sagar in Yatri has her father's face. Similarly, Imroz appears as

Sagar, in her novels such as Dilli Dian Galiyan. The chapter Tn Silence, Passion Smote' depicts the creative process of Amrita Pritam. She gives examples of many of her stories and novellas and narrates how certain incidents or characters come from her experiences consciously or from her subconscious. Here it is appropriate to remember Wordsworth's definition of poetry:

T have said that poetry is the spontaneous overflow of powerful feelings: it takes its

origin from emotion recollected in tranquillity: the emotion is contemplated till, by a

species of reaction, the tranquillity gradually disappears, and an emotion, kindred to that

which was before the subject of contemplation, is gradually produced, and does itself

actually exist in the mind.'(Wordsworth, 1802: 26)

All the intense experiences she had treasured have taken different shapes in her creative process and pushed her to write all those immortal short stories and novels.

In criticism, it was a widespread view that neurocriticism differentiates artists who document their cases, turning their maladies into their thematic material. According to Freud, an author is an obdurate neurotic who, by his creative work, keeps himself from a crack-up.

Ill (Wellek and Warren, 1963 pp.81-82). Like this old popular notion in English criticism, she writes a poem and gets cured! Even in moments of desolation, poetry comes to help her, converting her experiences, her emotions into poems, stories and characters. The magic of the creativity always gives Amrita the strength to live and to write! In her writing of autobiography, one can clearly see Amrita Pritam as poet first! She writes prose like a poem - passionate. One can clearly understand how passionate she had been all her life.

Amrita relates the 'species' of writers and poets to the 'Phoenix Dynasty'. Like this firebird, writers consume themselves in the fire of creation and rise again from its ashonly to take on new images. After death in the fire the phoenix again rises from its ashes. And whatever remains of the ashes is offered by the new-born in worship to the sun-temple.

(p. 134). Thus the fire bird phoenix is associated with sun worship. When Amrita relates the writers in the world with those of Phoenicians, she naturally thinks about her own writing.

The symbol of the sun recurringly appears in her poems; and it appears positively, as she says.

She has discussed some poems in her autobiography. For instance while expressing the intensity of her personal passion she says,

The rays dipped into the sun and crimson hues spread On the earth that lay silvery- white under moon's rays... We dipped the earth

In the sun we 'ddissolved...(p.\2S)

The image of the sun occurs apart from her love poems. For instance, when she met Ho Chi

Minh, the president of Vietnam, she reflects:

Today even the winds Asked of Vietnam Who wiped a tear From the cheek of history?

112 In the early hours of the morning

The earth dreamed a verdant dream;

Who rose to the fields of heaven

And sowed the sun? (p. 131)

Some pages from her diary are reproduced here which reflect her thoughts. She was an irregular diary writer. In a small passage 'From reality to reality' she expresses her opinion about writing an autobiography. For a writer it is an encounter with reality. It is the writer's own need. (P. 146).

Amrita is very much influenced by our former Prime Minister Indira Gandhi. She writes about Indira Gandhi warmly and with reverence. Both developed a good friendship.

Indiraji wrote letters to her praising some of her writings, especially this autobiography.

Amrita Pritam in her autobiography came out candidly with her exploration of the private self so clearly that she admired her in a letter, "It is you and yet there is something universal... most people bury their real selves in some unfathomable depth of their being and just skin the surface of life. It is the privilege of the artist and the poet to be more poignantly aware." (p.

151)

'On one palm Henna - on the other Blisters' contains some good and adverse situations that took place in her life.

In the year 1980, she was not well, when she went to Bulgaria. She had some heart problem. She wrote two beautiful poems addressing her heart! On her return she got the worst news - that Sahir was no more! It happened on October 26. She was very restless. She thought that death had mistaken the address and, instead of her, took away Sahir!

In 1983 she received D. Litt. from Jabalpur University and in May she received legal notice for her book of poems! Her poem, "Mata Tripta Da Sapna", ran afoul of the Sikh

113 clergy. They were mortified that anyone could write so about the mother of Guru Nanak.

Amrita says that one winter night, she got a phone call from her son. She had run out of a warm razai to hear the phone. Exchanging a few words with her son made her feel warm all over. She remembered what it was like carrying this child in her womb. She was an ordinary woman bearing an ordinary child. What did Mata Tripta feel like while carrying a divine baby like Guru Nanak? She was inspired by this incident and wrote this poem. The charge against her was that she had committed sacrilege!

Her vibrant imagination is seen operating in many ways. For instance, she used to have premonitory dreams. And there was the news of Indira Gandhi's assassination on 31

October 19 84! Amrita had so many dreams right from her childhood, so much so that dreams became a steady habit with her. In her childhood she dreamt of herself as a prisoner, but she escaped softly rising above, up in the vast blue expanse of the sky! In yet another dream a crowd of people in 'wild pursuit' followed her. She ran and ran till she saw a river and surprisingly she walked on the surface of water without fear! The crowd could not reach to her. She escaped them all. Later, she took help of some yogis / saintly people for the explanation of such dreams.

The journey of Amrita Pritam as a human being and a significant poet and writer in

Punjabi can be traced with the help of her writing as well as her autobiographies. She started as a romantic poet. Her collections such as Jeeunda Jeevan (1939), O Geetan Waliyan (1942),

Patthar Geetay (1946), and the poems in it are lyrical and subjective, highly emotional and imaginative. When she came in contact with the Progressive Movement, her poems show the concern for the plight of people, especially women. S. S. Kohli says,

"After partition and with the dawn of Independence the Punjabi poets

became increasingly conscious of their social responsibility. They roused the

114 awareness of the common people to fight against feudal values. Their literature

reflects the realities of life and advocates the cause of justice and universal human

welfare....Amrita Pritam spoke against the social system which exploited the peasants

and women." (p. 328)

The partition witnessed by her with all its brutality is reflected in an immortal poem,

"Aji Akhan Waris Shah Nu" and in her most celebrated novel Pinjar (The Skeleton). Her writing after 1960 reflects more concern for women and it is seen in many of her short story collections and novels. Her poems are translated in many Indian and foreign languages. She lived till 2004 and wrote another—a supplementary sequel— autobiography, Shadows of

Letters (Aksharon Ke Saaye).In the last years of her life Amrita was absorbed by questions of metaphysical and existential nature. Always fascinated by the convulsions of human consciousness and its fluctuations through the various levels of the mind from the unconscious to the supra- conscious, she used dreams, delusions, the fevered imagining of artists and delirium in her writings. In these years she turned towards another quest - the spiritual one.

She came into contact with some saintly people such as Saikaka and tried to find out answers to her questions. Much of this kind of thinking she attributes to her study of an esoteric cult.

Her books such as Kaynat Se Aage, Lai Dhagon Ka Rishta, are based on her dreams and an attempt to understand their meaning.

Amrita Pritam's autobiography is a personal testimony of the sense of worth she experienced as 'individual', whose specific life is of interest and importance. The materials that she has gleaned from her personal experiences, whether real or visionary, have been converted into an artifact of beauty and order.

However, there are certain confusions. It was Amrita who tells that she talked to her husband, they decided to separate; and even in this act she has not allowed the prestige of her

115 family to suffer of which she is proud, nor has she fallen for any of the usually accepted social sanctions. She thinks that she has been able to pay back the debts (of the society)she owed.

How has she paid it? By leaving her husband or meeting him as a friend after separation? It is highly confusing. At one place she writes about a debt which she could not pay back and in the same chapter she expresses her relief that she has paid it! Moreover, the researcher has not cited any reference to what Pritam Singh had said!

According to Shubha Tiwari, "The confessional strains are very much evident here in that Amrita makes a candid confession of the intimate experiences of her life. Even a casual reading of autobiography suggests that all the experiences of her life since childhood have been created and lived under some shadow or another: the shadows of death, weapons, words, dreams, patriarchy, and shadows of authoritarian power, shadows of contemplation and shadows of unrequited love". (ShubhaTiwari, Bookmark and Share).

Explosive in its revelations and poetic in its content, the book is a sincere account of her extraordinary life. Pritam reflects on her full and creative journey of life—her uneasy relationship with her father, her forays into the world of literature, accolades received, brickbats borne and the rather turbulent equation she had with society at large. Pritam, who spent her early life in Lahore, was a first-hand witness to the tragedy of the Partition and this deeply influenced her writing. Always considered a controversial figure in the realm of literature, she was often criticized for her outspoken and allegedly explich writing. Several of her books and poetry collections were banned for either being disrespectful to religion or being sexually vivid. She has expressed her anguish over her contemporaries' malice against her and the narrow-mindedness of the world of Punjabi literature.

Perhaps the best part of this book is Amrita herself and the dedication and love she has towards art in general and her art in particular. She goes into detailed description of her art,

116 which for her is divine, dreamUke and mundane madness, all at the same time. It is in fact what has helped her live through all the crests and troughs of life. No doubt she is an artist par excellence. When one thinks about the title of Amrita's autobiography, one remembers what a revenue stamp is. It was Khushwant Singh's remark that Amrita should write an autobiography, though it should be very small to be written on a revenue stamp. A revenue stamp is an acknowledgement/receipt of a favour or value. So, the writer wishes to acknowledge the favours/experiences that life gave her. Khushwant Singh's remark simply suggests that since life cannot be written about in its entirety, it has to be compressed by adopting a selection-and-rejection approach. That is what all writers do in creative writing.

And an autobiography is no exception to it!

Harivansh Rai Bachchan: In the Afternoon of Time

Harivansh Rai Bachchan is one of the loved Hindi poets. He was a noted Indian poet of the Nayi Kavita literary movement (romantic upsurge) of early 20th century Hindi literature. As a poet he is famous for his Madhushala (House of Wine). He was born in a middle-class (Shrivastav) Kayastha family in a small village, Babupatti, (Raniganj, in

Pratapgarh District) in Uttar Pradesh on 27 November 1907. Later, in Allahabad he received his formal schooling in a municipal school, followed by the family tradition of attending

Kayastha Paathshaala to learn Urdu as the first step to a career in law. He later studied at the

Allahabad University and Banaras Hindu University. In this period, he came under the influence of the independence movement, then under the leadership of Mahatma Gandhi.

Bachchan graduated from the Allahabad University in 1929 in first class. Having a short stint as a journalist, he had joined as a teacher in the local Agarwal Vidyalaya. Along with the teaching job he had pursued his studies and obtained both M.A. and B.T.

117 In 1926, at the age of 19, Bachchan married his first wife, Shyama, who was then 14 years old. However she died ten years later in 1936 after a long spell of TB at just 24 years of age. Bachchan again married, Teji Bachchan, in 1942. They had two sons, Amitabh and

Ajitabh. He joined the Allahabad University as a Research Scholar and later in 1941 a

Lecturer in English Literature. Taking a sabbatical from the University, he went to Cambridge

University for his doctoral work on W.B. Yeats. He was the first Indian to acquire a Ph.D. in

English Literature from Cambridge after which he resumed his duties in the university. After a short stint, Bachchan joined AIR, Allahabad, as Producer for a short time of three months. At the behest of Jawaharlal Nehru, he joined the Hindi Cell in the Union Ministry of External

Affairs as an Officer on Special Duty in 1955. His work was to translate official documents from English into Hindi which he had continued till his retirement. During the period of 10 years that he served he was also associated with the evolution of Hindi as the official language. He also enriched Hindi through his translations of major writings of great writers.

Besides Omar Khayyam's Rubaiyat, he will also be remembered for his Hindi translations of

Shakespeare's Macbeth and Othello and also the Bhagvad Gita.

In recognition of his contribution to the world of literature and Hindi language,

Harivansh Rai was nominated to the Rajya Sabha in 1966. He was honoured with the Sahitya

Akademi award in 1969, and with the Padma Bhushan for his immense contribution to Hindi literature in 1976. He was also honoured with the K. K. Birla Foundation's first Saraswati

Samman for his four volume autobiography, Kya Bhooloon Kya Yaad Karoon, Need Ka

Nirman Phir, Basere Se Door and Dashdwar Se Sopan Tak. The Soviet Land Nehru Award and the Lotus Award of the Afro-Asian Writers' Conference, were conferred on him for his unique contribution to the world of letters. If ever asked to introduce himself, he had a simple introduction:

Mitti ka tan, masti ka man, kshan-bhar jivan — mera parichay.

118 (A body of clay, a mind full of play, a moment's life - that is me).l. (Madhubala, 1936)

Bachchan died on 18 January 2003, at the age of 96, as a result of various respiratory ailments. His wife Teji Bachchan died five years later in December 2007, at the age of 93.

He contributed to the Hindi literature as a gifted poet as well as a stylist prose writer.

He was a prolific writer and published about 30 volumes of poetry throughout his lifetime and translated several English and Russian works into Hindi. He also contributed by writing miscellaneous articles, essays on important issues. His major works are:

Collection of Poems:

Tera Haar (1932), Madhushala (1935), Madhubala (1936), Madhukalash (1937), Nisha

Nimantran (1938), Ekaant Sangeet (1939), Aakul Antar (1943), Satarangini (1945), Halaahal

(1946), Bengal ka Kaal (1946), Khaadi ke Phool (1948), Soot ki Maala (1948), Milan Yamini

(1950), Pranay Patrika (1955), Dhaar Ke Idhar Udhar (1957), Aarti Aur Angaare (1958),

Buddha Aur Naachghar (1958), Tribhangima (1961), Chaar Kheme Chaunsath Khoonte

(1962), Do Chattane (1965), Bahut Din Beete (1967), Kat-ti Pratimaaon Ki Awaaz (1968),

Ubharte Pratimaano Ke Roop (1969), Jaal Sameta (1973).

Miscellaneous :

Khaiyyam Ki Madhushala (1938), Macbeth (1957), Jangeeta (1958), Othello (1959), Omar

Khaiyyam Ki Rubaaiyan (1959), Nehru: Raajnaitik Jeevanchitra (Translation)(1961),

Chausath Roosi Kavitaayein (1964), W.B. Yeats and Occultism (1968), Markat Dweep Ka

Swar (1968), Naagar Geet (1966), Hamlet (1969), Bhaasha Apni Bhaav Paraaye (1970),

Pravaas Ki Diary (1971), King Lear (1972).

Volumes of Autobiography:

119 Kya Bhooloon Kya Yaad Karoon (1969), Need Ka Nirmaan Phir (1970), Basere Se Door

(1977), Dashdwaar Se Sopaan Tak (1985), Abridged in English by Rupert Snell as In the

Afternoon of Time (198).

The present research has sourced from In The Afternoon of Time: An Autobiography abridged by Dr. Rupert Snell in English of Harivansh Rai Bachchan's original Hindi volumes of autobiography. This autobiography traces an expansive span of nearly two and a half centuries up to the last decade of the 20th century. It tells in much detail the Shrivastav

(Kayastha) family history, beginning with the ancestors who shifted from a small village of

Pratapgarh District to Allahabad, Uttar Pradesh. The author covers many generations of his ancestors before giving the readers a complete and detailed description of his own life. This book is divided into four parts according to the four original volumes in Hindi, namely,

Things To Forget, Things To Remember, Rebuilding The Nest, Far from Home, and

Epilogue: From Dashdwar to Sopan.

The first part 'Times To Forget, Times To Remember', first discusses the origin of the

Kayastha descent, its virtues and its clashes with the Brahmins about the superiority as a caste.

Possibly, Bachchan, could not help keeping away from the emphasis on the caste system. The caste consciousness looms large in this part. Then the chapter deals with many aspects of

Bachchan's family history. The first known person of their family, Mansa, came to Allahabad first. There is an interesting anecdote related to his arrival in Allahabad. The childless and poor couple, Mansa and his wife, went to see Acharya Paramsant in Tilhar, Dist. Allahabad.

The saint gave him blessings of three sons and also gave him three utensils, and three rupees as a Kayastha cannot beg, and that he can either repay or help a needy person in his name. The guru also told Mansa to keep walking until he couldn't go further, then next day set up a home where he stopped that night. He also assured Mansa that his family would live there for seven

120 generations. Thus Mansa came and settled in Allahabad. As it turned out, he had three sons.

Pratap Narayan, Bachchan's father was the only child of the second son's sixth generation.

Bachchan has paid a very reverential tribute to the entire vista of his provenance:

Pratapgarh, Basti (Shravasti), Ayodhya, and Allahabad. He claims all of his inheritance joyously and proudly and remembers and memorializes his roots and forebears in his

autobiography. With the help of his astounding episodic memory, this part describes from his

early childhood and containing those things also that had happened prior to his birth and he

must have come to know about them through the repetitive talks regarding them in his house

and neighbourhood. The history of his forefathers and the different residences (and cities)

where themselves and later himself alongwith the family, had lived,has become a gigantic

storehouse of his memories.

Bachchan, remembers many people, relatives and describes them interestingly. It was

a big joint family with uncles and aunts and their children. A would be poet was taking shape

in the love and pampering of the parents as well as great grandfather Mitthulal's sister Radha

Bua. She came to live with her brother after the death of her husband. She knew many things

about the family and she had a skill of telling stories in an interesting way. Bachchan was

greatly influenced by her in his childhood. What he remembers is the immeasurable love of

the brother and sister. Radha never got tired of telling the stories of her brother. His great

grandfather was in charge of the town's police, and people called him 'Nayab Sahib'. Though

he was hot tempered, he was full of love and tenderness for his sister. However, in fact these

stories, though interesting, merely remain anecdotes. Perhaps this history is given only to

introduce the hereditary elements. And Bachchan is successful in it. For instance, he was

much influenced by the braveness of his great grandfather Mitthulal. He accepts that if there

was something anti- customary, rebellious and revolutionary in his nature, it must have come

from his great grandfather. Radha was also a brave woman. Bachchan's grandfather got a job 121 as a jail superintendent at Lalitpur. Bachchan remembers an adventure of Radha Bua alongwith another lady Mahanginiya Kaachhin when they travelled from AUahabaad to

Lalitpur on foot. They managed a great escape from the talon of a deadly bandit and his

family through their sheer courage and wit; it is the most interesting episode narrated in the context of her personality. She travelled all the way to celebrate the birth of Pratap Narayan, the only grandson of her brother. She often told this story to little Bachchan. Later, he muses,

"She recounted the whole story of her life and her journey without breaking either the pitch or the rhythm of her tearful lament—an accomplishment which I have often admired in our

village women, and wish I could appropriate for my poetry." (Bachchan, 1998: 45) Radha

died at the age of 95, when Bachchan was around 15 years of age. He had written a poem on

Lalitpur, later published in Arti aur Angare.

The death of Bachchan's grandfather is equally a moving account. The grandfather

died while saving his son Pratap Narayan from hail storm. He sheltered his son and took the

beating hails on his body. He was injured badly from his head to feet and died after four or

five days. Bachchan's father never forgot the sacrifice of his father. He had to leave his

education and earn the livelihood for his family. He got the job of a clerk in The Pioneer

which was published from Allahabad those days. The salary was not enough to satisfy the

demand of the big household. He and his wife Sursati somehow managed it.

There is an interesting and rather sensitive story related to the birth of Bachchan.

Sursati remained childless for some years. Then she had a daughter but her sons did not

survive. Both the husband and wife were worried about this. Some elderly woman advised her

that if her sons did not survive, she should sell out her new bom to some body and bring it up

as that person's child. So, the new-born child, Bachchan was sold to the midwife Lachmania

for five paise. She even became wet nurse for the child for first twelve days. Bachchan would

call his mother 'Amma' and to Lachmania as 'Chamma'. She died early when Bachchan was

122 a child. He performed the duties as the son of Lachmania. Thus from his childhood he got the lessons of living with all people with love.

His education began at home by performing pooja. As it was customary, the pandit and the maulvi both were invited and both wrote first letters in Sansktir and Urdu respectively for the child. The reflections of the learning both languages are seen in his poetry. Being born in a family known for its scholarship in Persian and its devotion to Vaishnav faith, his poetry combines the best of Sanskrit and Persio-Arabic poetic traditions. It is obvious that his

Madhushala has a deep impact of Umar Khayyam's Ruhaiat and also his translation of it.

Apart from the love from the elders in the house, Bachchan's childhood was full of dearth and wanting. He went to the municipal school for primary education when he was eight years old. Bachchan tells here that he took an important decision at that time. Listening a lecture by Satyadev Parivrajak on 'Hindi: Our National Language' made a deep impression on him and he resolved "to leave Urdu and take up Hindi", (p. 104) In those days Urdu language was a medium of teaching in Uttar Pradesh. To take up some other language, the student had to seek permission of the Deputy Inspector of schools. Shiv Kumar Singh was the

Inspector who gave it. The same person met Bachchan after 20-22 years at Kashi Kavi

Sammelan where Bachchan was the chief attraction for his Madhushala. Shiv Kumar Singh came to meet Bachchan, praised him and expressed his pride that he gave Bachchan the permission to take Hindi!

After the primary schools, Bachchan went to the Kayastha Pathshala. Those were the days of freedom movement. Students were influenced by the thoughts of Mahatma Gandhi.

Bachchan, too, was influenced by these thoughts. He was influenced by some other events also. While moving through adolescence, he had had a passionate relationship with Champa, the wife of his closest friend - Karkal who was a Brahmin (Bachchan was a Kayastha). The

123 relationship of Harivansh and Champa was a very peculiar one and could not be defined properly. It was as if she had bound the two young men in her attraction. Karkal's untimely

demise gave a new turn to the relationship of Harivansh and Champa leading her ultimate

sacrifice for Harivansh which went a long way in developing the poet in him. It was the year

of matriculation of Bachchan and he failed. Bachchan was deeply moved by the death of both

Karkal and Champa. An adolescent age of Bachchan was thus influenced by fatal attraction.

He again appeared and passed high school exams in 1925.

Bachchan took admission in the Government College for Intermediate, on one

condition by his father that he had to support himself by giving tuitions. Bachchan's younger

brother Rajjan (Shaligram) was also studying. Father's retirement was approaching, so he

insisted his sons for work. In 1926 he married Shyama. He was 19 and she was 14 years old!

While narrating incidents from history or his father's marriage or his own marriage, he takes

the liberty to discuss problems in marriage, bad customs, the ideal relationship of husband and

wife, the importance of family life etc. It creates obstruction in the flow of the story and

makes it rather slow. At times it even stops for a while.

Bachchan describes his newly wed wife Shyama as innocent, young and cheerful. He

saw in her Shelley's 'skylark', an incorporeal happiness whose drive had just started! He

gave her a new name 'Joy'! He always called her with this name. However, she did not come

to live with Bachchan's family immediately as she was just a teen ager. These days Shyama

was living at her parents' house. Her mother was suffering from TB. She took care of her, but

her mother died. Shyama came to his house through the custom of Gauna (earlier, when males

and females were married in very young age of themselves, the bride remained for a few years

with her parents only and when she was finally sent off by her parents to her husband to start

her conjugal life in the practical sense, it was called her Gauna). She came to live with

Bachchan in their house. But she also brought her mother's disease- TB- with her. Though

124 Bachchan and his brother were earning and father had pension, the expenses of medicines were an expensive addition. Now Shyama gave Bachchan a new name 'Suffering": a poet's anguish is 'suffering' incarnated. Joy could not become a physical companion due to her illness but she became his soul mate.

It was the time when familial conditions were worsening. He himself became the prey to TB. Simultaneously, in the literary world he was criticized bitterly. His expressions were criticized as wanton, his songs were criticised as depressive, and some body accused him that he went astray. He felt it badly but he never lost his control. He answered all the charges in a very cultured and controlled way. It is true that the poet Bachchan has followed the personal life of the man Bachchan. His wife Shyma became the source of inspiration for him.

However, as a young man he could not stop his emotions and he gave vent to them in his poems. The reflection of the poet's insolent feelings, his desire as a young man is seen in poems such as ' Kavi ki Vasana':

When my lust was intense

I exercised abstinence

My hunger itself has become

Nourishment of me, always!

The world complaints that

My expression becomes wanton! (Translation added) Madhukalash (1937) This poem was originally inspired by a comment by Pt. Banarsi Das Chaturvedi in the publication Vishaal Bharat, of which he was the editor. In response to a comment Bachchan wrote this poem and sent it to another well-known publication Saraswati with a note that it is in response to somebody's comment (without naming him). When Pt. Banarsi Das Chaturvedi

125 noticed this poem, he got it pubHhed in Viashaal Bharat itself, openly accepting that he was the one who had written a comment. (Tandon, 2012:57)

The researcher remembers a quartet by W. B.Yeats, who influenced Bachchan the poet:

You think that lust and rage

Should dance attendance on my old age;

They were not such a plague when I was young

What else have I to spur me into a song?

(Yeats: 1966, p. 190)

Bachchan had joined M. A. course in the university, but left it after one year. During these days the freedom movement was on its extreme; it influenced the youth of the nation.

Bachchan was no exception. He participated in processions, wrote songs in praise of freedom of nation, delivered lectures in small towns and villages, promoted the use of khadi, and even he would weave cloth on a spinning wheel. However, he could not concentrate either on studies or his activities in the freedom movement due to his concern for Shyama and increasing problems in the house, he had to struggle to meet both ends. He got a job in the editorial section of a then popular magazine Chand but was abruptly fired after a month; then he joined one or two schools also but could not receive proper salary due to some desecration.

Bachchan had started writing from his school days. He started with short stories. He even sent a collection of short stories to Hindustan Akademi. But it was not accepted.

Undeterred by criticism and steeled by domestic difficulties like financial worries, loneliness,

Harivansh Rai continued to write, combining mature subtlety with discretion. His creative career began in 1932 with the publication of first collection of poems Tera Haar.

126 While working in the Pioneer as a touring representative correspondent he got an allowance of three rupees every day besides salary of hundred rupees! For some days he even worked in Abhuday Press on half of the salary than Pioneer. He worked all day going from one place to another in the province, and at night he would write his greatest long poem

Madhushala or translated Rubaiyat of Umar Khayyam! He says, ".. I did not go to work with any sense of defeat or helplessness; I set out like a soldier eager for the fray. If life had thrown a challenge to the poet in me, then I should not about to fight shy of it; .. .if my poetry had any life in it, then it would survive world's severest blows... " (p. 170) Bachchan's utter optimism and faith on himself and his poetry survived him in the moments of crisis, except for the blow of the death of his wife Shyama.

Some people leave a deep impression in one's life, not necessary it should be good always. Fatal attraction not only to a woman but also to a friend proved to be dangerous in the case of Bachchan when Srikrishna Suri and Prakasho or Rani came in his life. He got acquainted with Srikrishna in some marriage function. When he saw Srikrishna he felt that

Karkal was standing in front of him! Perhaps he could not understand the warning of destiny in this resemblance! They became close friends. He lived in Delhi. Those were the days of freedom movement in India. Srikaishna was not an active revolutionary but he was related to some of them and always helped them. One of them was a couple: Yashpal, and his betrothed

Prakasho. Srikrishna took Bachchan to meet Prakasho at a secret place in Delhi where

Prakasho was hiding. She had taken new name 'Rani' to avoid arrest. She was a beauty. They were the first listeners of Madhushsla in full. These days Bachchan was working as a teacher in Agrawal Vidyalya, at Alahabad. He got only Rs. 35 per month.

One day Prakasho arrived at Bachchan's house unannounced. She told that

Shrikrishna would come to take her in a week or so. She behaved like a family member and started to help in the household work. Everybody was happy with her behavior. Bachchan

127 also was happy that she was Hving in his house. He was attracted to her. Bachchan tells about his relation with Prakasho: "If I drew closer and closer to Rani, it was of her doing. ...I am heavily influenced by dominant women of strongly masculine structure... She drew me closer to herself, reaching the point where society puts up danger signals;..." (p. 184) However,

there was no sign of Shrikrishna ; he came after two and a half month. Both took a new house

on rent in Alahabad. As Shrikrishna did not do anything, the burden of their living was to be

borne by Bachchan. Shreekrishna was a mentally weak person who could not shoulder

responsibilities with vigour and confidence. When Shyama came home, the expenses of

medicines made the financial condition worse. Consequently he could not give as much

money as Shrikrishna and Prakasho wanted. They pretended to commit suicide in the Jumna.

Bachchan was terrified at the possibility of their death. But neither Shrikrishna nor Prakasho

had any intention to die. They were living idly on the money of Bachchan. Father, when saw

all this only said, "You have fallen in with some dangerous people."8. (p. 188) After a week

or so they went somewhere never to return. Bachchan's faith shattered, he could not imagine

they could behave in such a way. Later they tried hard to contact Bachchan, met formally on

some occasions but he never let them enter into his life. He had written about it in the

'Pralaap' section of Madhubala on the event. However, the poet in Bachchan could never let

them go and Shrikrishna and Rani linger in his poems. According to Bishan Tandon, "In the

stance of the poems in Madhubala, Shrikrishna and Prakasho have a big share...when

Prakasho lived in his house at Allahabad and the intimacy between them increased,... she

influenced (his) poetry." (Tandon, 2012: 51)

Once again Bachchan came out of this cyclone with the help of his inner strength. His

poetry proved to be a powerful means to bring him to normal. After Tera Haar, his

Madhushala was ready for printing. He had already given Khayyam ki Madhushala and his

Madhushala to his friends. In December 1933 he gave his first public reading of his

128 Madhushala in the Shivaji Hall of Benares Hindu University, and people were crazy about him and his poem. He burst upon the horizon of Hindi poetry as a bright star that evening with his recitation of Madhushala, to a huge audience, unfolding to listeners an enchanting world with rings of Omar Khayyam.

Padmakant Malaviya, manager of the Abhuday Press showed his readiness to publish the book but could not complete it. So he decided to be the publisher of his historical book

Madhushala in 1935. He began a press 'Sushma Nikunj' which continued under the supervision of his father who had a big experience of this work. The work of Sushma Nikunj was closed only after the death of his father. After the hugh success of Madhushala, he published Khayyam ki Madhushala also. With the publication of Madhushala (House of

Wine, 1935), a literary masterpiece of Bachchan, a rhapsody on wine and joy of living, his position as a major Hindi poet was firmly established.

Madhushala is not merely a poem written for cheap popularity among the commons. It has many shades. It is life, the poet, poem, poet's book, a medicine for the diseased, a riddle etc. Bachchan uses the symbols of Hala(wine), Bala(a girl, Saki), Pyala(a glass) and

Madhushala( house of wine, a tavern). Using these symbols, new for Hindi those days, he expressed problems of his age. For instance, Madhushala breaks the walls of religion and castes. It speaks of burning those religious books which create discrimination among human beings; also it speaks of breaking the rigid rules of the Pandits, the Momins and the Padries. It propagates equality.

Masjid threw me away Saying that he is a drunkard Thakurdwara also drove me away Looking the glass in my hand, Where shall get a place in the world

129 To an unfortunate kafir like me?

If performing as a haven

The Madhushala will not accept me? (translation added)

{Madhushala, 1935)

According to Dilip Singh, Bachchan assumes that the poem and the poet are inseparable. The formalistic and stylistic approaches removed the life and personality of the poet from his poetry. Bachchan believes that, without understanding the personality of the poet, his work carmot be understood." (Dilip Singh,2003:9)

Madhushala created a wave of enthusiasm among the people. It became popular in kavi sammelans. At the same time it was bitterly criticized. It was called Halavadi kavita reminding Chayavad in Hindi literature. People had taken it for granted that Bachchan was a hard drinker. His friend and critic Vidyalankar Chandragupt says that there was no bigger misunderstanding than this. "His wine is totally symbolic... It is the symbol of revolution and new life."(Chandragupt,1971: p. 18) In 1936 the Hindi Sahitya Sammelan was organized at

Indore the chairman was nobody but Mahatma Gandhi. Bachchan recited his Madhushala; the audience became so personally involved in it that the entire Hall seemed to be swayed under the influence of the message in it. But some people complained Gandhiji that there should be no singing in praise of wine under his chairmanship. Gandhiji called Bachchan and told to sing some stanzas. Bachchan selected carefully from his poem and sang

O Muslim, Hindu —faiths are two, But one the brimming cup you share; And one the drinking house, and one The wine which flows so freely there. By mosque and temple all's divided,

130 All is either ^mine'or ^thine';

But feuds thus forged are all at last

Forgotten in the House of Wine.

(Translation by Rupert Snell p. 194-95)

The original Hindi poem is very beautiful and sonorous. Gandhiji said, "There is no wine- glorifying in these verses." (p. 195) Bachchan was exonerated. An interesting fact: many people still do not know that Bachchan did not drink.

Bachchan also became a prey to TB. After much medication that proved useless,

Bachchan tried Louis Kuhne's hydrotherapy. Shyama took care of her husband forgetting her illness. Bachchan became completely normal by 15 April, 1936; and it was the day that

Shyama caught by her illness so much so that she never recovered. She died on 17 November,

1836. In the last eighteen months of their married life, both fought against death. With the help of Shyama, Bachchan became successful in this battle, but his help could not survive her.

Her TB was intestinal which was diagnosed rather late and then no treatment helped her. It seems that this 'Joy' of Bachchan had cherished a story of compassion within her heart. He found a notebook of Shyama in which she had copied some poems. There were some lines by

D. H. Lawrence. One line was - 'O build your ship of death, for you will need it.' (p. 212) at the end there were four lines:

/ don't speak much to other folk,

My silence bears a sad refrain; O friends, do you forget me now. Your love intensifies the pain. (p. 213) On her deathbed Shyama asked Bachchan to write something for her to be remembered by.

Bachchan wrote several poems to relive the moments. Sometime after her death, these were collected in his Madhukalash. The collection is dedicated to Shyma. The underlying message of three collections- Madhushala, Madhubala and Madhukalash is the meaninglessness of the

131 sordid worldly ambitions, greed acquisitiveness, bigotry and intolerance in religion, morality and behavior. In a sad poetic irony, Harivansh Rai boldly challenges sickening conventionalism and moralist and thus, gives "Hindi poetry an entirely new dimension."

(Blog by Lalit Kumar, Writerly Expressed)

He has elaborated on the financial hardships of his family from time to time and how they were faced and tackled by himself and others impressively. His wonderful narration takes the reader along helping him to visualize the events.

Part Two ' Rebuilding the Nest' begins from the death of his first wife when he was

around 26 years old to the time when he prepared to go to complete his research in Cambridge

leaving his family behind in India.

After some days of deep sorrow caused by Shyama's death, Bahchcan gradually

recognized that only poetry could give the vent to his sorrow. He began to accept the

invitations of kavi sammelans he had refused earlier. One kavi sammelan, however, made him

restless. His poetry reading was at Bareli. A college student met him and praised him. He sat

near the stage and requested Bachchan to read certain poems. When Bachchan was ready to

go to the station, he also joined. To a great shock to Bachchan, he committed suicide under

the same train. Bachchan felt guilty, he began to think if his poetry was morbid. He

remembered the critique on his poetry. It said that his poetry was pessimistic, erotic, escapist

but nobody criticized it as 'morbid'; yet he felt, perhaps all his tensions, burdens had

influenced his poetry. He decided not to write poems.

Bachchan joined the university to complete his Masters after a long time along with

another friend. This was his attempt to bring a change in his life, which had not been easy

after the sad demise of Shyama. However, his vow of not to write poems, could not last long.

In December 1937, one year after Shyama's death, he was returning from Benares by train. He

132 wrote a poem on some newspaper - 'Din jaldi jaldi dhalta hai (The day ends so quickly). It was the beginning of his celebrated Nisha Nimantran. The last stanza of the poem expresses the poet's agony in utter loneliness.

Who is anxious to meet me? For whom do I become restless?

This question slackens my foot, fills my heart with distress. So quickly the day ends. (translation added)

(Bachchan,1938) He was regularly invited for the (poetry sessions) kavi sammelans, it established him as a leading Hindi poet of his times.

He passed his M. A. in second class, he felt dejected. He was looking for a job in the university if he got first class. He took admission in Banares Training College for the B. T. course. A patch of distraction and disorientation set in for some time. It became the next collection Ekant Sangit (Song of Loneliness, 1939). Following M^/za Mma/ra«, the poems in this collection were written during the period of 1938-39 when he was passing through a mental crisis. The lyrics reflect his sensitive mood and the grim phase of his life. The collection marks the pinnacle of his poetic power and manifests the destiny of lovelorn grief and the experience of extreme loneliness. For instance the poem 'Ekant Sangeet' expresses the intensity of poet's loneliness:

Song of loneliness

Jungle on earth, boats on the river, A Flight of birds in the sky. In the world full of men and women

The heart of the poet is alone! (Translation added) {Ekant Sangeet,\929)

133 The poet had written that the darkness in which he had entered in Nisha Nimatran had led him to listen to the Ekant Sangeet, the song of solitude, and the music led him to Akul Antara (The

Restless Heart, 1943). With the publication of Akul Antar the first phase of his writing had

come to a close.

On his return from the Training College, he was called by Alahabad School, where

once he worked. He was not happy; he felt that he had to do this job permanently. But as his

luck would have it. Pandit Amarnath Zha, the Head of the English Department of the

University, sent a letter to Bachchan to see him urgently and suggested him to accept a

temporary post in the Alahabad University in August, 1939 with a promise that he would get a

scholarship in the next July if the post would not be available. Bachchan grabbed this

opportunity. He thrived on this new work, whose unchallenging schedules allowed him ample

time to develop his poetic persona; teaching English and writing Hindi became the two strings

to his bow, and, if his heart-on-sleeve poetry did not always please the austere Hindi critics,

his public popularity knew no bounds.

He decided to leave his father's house and went to live near the University. He wanted

to go away from all those sad memories of the illness and death of Shyama. While leaving the

house, he became nostalgic. He describes the neighbors and their lineage to the extent he

knows, this becomes little boring at times as one doesn't relate to them. Bachchan went to live

with Narendra Sharma, a famous poet of Hindi literature. He made friends with most leading

poets of his times like Sumitranandan Pant, whom he fondly called Pant Ji.

Harivansh Rai Bachchan had been quite vocal about his personal life in his

autobiography, his relationship with women, women whom he got attracted to, were probably

the inspiration and the pain behind his poetry and he constantly had them in his life. He

speaks with his usual eloquence about a Christian girl. Iris Talibuddin, whom he fell for but

134 could never win over more than as a friend. He got acquainted with her by Uma, the wife of his friend Aditya Jouhari. He was attracted to her so much so that he was ready to defy all the customs and family expectations to be with that girl. He told about his decision to be a

Christian to his father and the loving father gave his consent for the sake of his son's happiness. But this relation was never encouraged by Iris. His father died on 10 October,

1941 without witnessing his son's happiness.

Bachchan also talks about the female in him being more dominant than the man and hence his need for a woman who has a dominant male in her. He emphasizes this aspect of his quite a bit to illustrate his various reactions.

The rebuilding of new abode began when he met Teji Suri, who was a lecturer at F. C.

College, Lahore. Again, it was Uma, Aditya's wife who made a programme at Bareilly.

Bachchan recited his poem 'Kya karun sanvedana lekar tumhari'(What should 1 do with your gift of sympathy.290). Bachchan recalls, "I had written this poem in a mood of intense cynicism; I'd heard a lot about sympathy in recent months, but it had brought me little consolation, and I feh it was all false, a sham—nobody can really feel another person's suffering, and the way of the world is rather to take pleasure in h."(p. 291) It touched the heart of Teji intensely as she also suffered a crisis. She was the youngest of the four daughters of

Sardar Khajan Singh Suri, a barrister. She was engaged to the son of Sardarji's friend. But they were unable to create any loving relationship. They quarreled often. Teji decided to break this relation and accepted the lecturer-ship in the college at Lahore. This incident created emptiness in her life. The poem created such a bond between the two which tied them in matrimony. They married on 24 January, 1942. The marriage proved prosperous to both husband and wife. Bachchan had always wished a happy life and a cosy, comfortable household. He got it with Teji.

135 After marriage Teji was acquainted with Sarojini Naidu who had come to the Nehru house, Anand Bhavan. She was very much impressed by the beauty and grace of Teji.

Bachchan was aheady acquainted with Pandit Nehru. They were invited at Anand Bhavan for tea. When Bachchan arrived with Teji, Sarojini Naidu introduced them "the poet and the poem".(p.301). They were also invited at Indira's marriage in March and recited 'varsh nav, harsh nav' a duet popular in Allahabad those days.

Teji Bachchan was a strong woman, who took her own decisions and lived life on her own terms. She came out as a woman who though living in the shadow of a famous husband, had the charisma to be-friend people like Indira Gandhi. She also cherished interests like her love for acting and her desire to act. She directed Macbeth and even acted Lady Macbeth and was praised by Pandit Nehru.

Bachchan talks in detail about all the people around him during this period. One cannot but be impressed by the details that he gives about so many people, that too after around 30-35 years of his actually having spent time with them. He usually begins describing a person by giving his physical description along with what he / she was wearing at the moment when he met them, it paints a picture of the person right in front of your eyes, and one would often be amazed about his minute observations. He goes in detail describing the people who became his friends, who could have been friends but remained acquaintances, people who liked him as a poet and people who were envious of him for the same reason. The description of the Jauhri brothers: One of them, Gyan Prakash Jauhri, was hard to forget: a young man.., fair and handsome, a stranger to life's difficulties, well-spoken and urbane.

Although dressed in a well-tailored suit, this 'perfect gentleman' and English lecturer was quite untouched by any ostentatious Anglicism...Gyan Prakash's younger brother Aditya

Prakash, a tall, thin and delicate boy with much self- confidence and a look of affection and refinement mixed with mischief..." (p. 220) In the same way Bachchan describes in detail all

136 the houses he lived in and how the character of the house influenced his thought process. For

instance, when he moved to the house at Kundu Bagh 78 Allenganj, he reflects, "This house

seemed kindly and compassionate, as if it would soothe the wounds we brought it." (p. 284)

At last the Bachchan family settled in a house at 17 Clive Road. This house was attractive and

spacious. It had ten doors so he called it 'Dashdwar.' It was the first Bachchan house.

He identifies and explains the dichotomies in him, like his nonbelief in any religion

and rituals but at times he identifies himself as Kayastha and Hindu. He calls himself a non-

believer of any theories but at the same time acknowledges using the others' beliefs in the

time of crisis. He narrates an incident when he went to the house of Pandit Amar Nath Zha. A jeweller was there and Zha Saheb was looking the jewels. He told Bachchan to take any

neelam( a sapphire) he liked and that he was ready to gift it to Bachchan. Rasal, another

lecturer, said, "A sapphire would declare itself when lying in the hand of one destined to be its

owner." It happened in July, and in the month of August Bachchan was permanent in his

university job! Was it the influence of the sapphire? Bachchan says, "say that not everything

can be understood by reason, and I will hold my peace" (p. 278) Like when both his sons were

not well and he was unable to be with his wife, he remembers that Babar in a similar situation

gave up something dear to him to get his son Humanyun cured, and he swore never to drink

and never to eat meat respectively if his son got well, and he kept that promise till he wrote

this book. There is another mention of his dream, a day before Amitabh is born, he saw his

father coming back in his house.

Writing about Bachchan, Anuradha Goyal says, "His expression of his emotions is so

elaborate and descriptive that you almost feel you are living the emotion he probably lived

close to a century back. This is a period in his life where he has established himself as a poet

with work like Madhushala behind him, but is yet unsettled in life. He tries to put different

hats and at times tries to push the poet in him behind him, but the poet manages to re-surface

137 all the time, triggered by his sensitivity to everything that is happening, and the pain that he carries with him all the time." (Anuradha Goyal, July 17, 2007)

On October 11, 1942, their first son was bom. It was Sumitranandan Pant who was staying with them, saw the child and called him 'Amitabh'. Bachchan here narrates his sweet confusion, he was still in the first stages fi-om a lover to husband to a father. The joy of a lovely home, a beautiful wife and now a son: all this came much later in his life. He was happy. The Bachchan family had a new member. When the second son was born on May, 18,

1947, he was called Ajitabh , again named by Pantji. Here he narrates how he changed his surname 'Rai'. Before 'Bachchan', he was Mr. Harivansh Rai. He had adopted 'Bachchan' a nick name of his childhood, only in his writing. But when their children went to school they decided to accept Bachchan as their surname. He first used his surname 'Bachchan' in

Cambridge, in the 1950s. The other reason Bachchan tells, "Having been ostracized by our caste, we decided that we might as well found a new family all of our own." (p. 326)

Satrangini (The Rainbow) was published in 1945. The Bengal Famine in 1943 caused

Harivansh to move away from his earlier concerns. His new involvement in the human predicament resulted in the collection Bangui ka Kal (The Fate of Bengal, 1946). Aware of human suffering and a sensibility sharpened by private grief, he published Halahal in the same year.

He was not unaware of the circumstances around him, the last phase of freedom movement in India had started. He witnessed many incidents. Gandhiji started 'Quit India' movement. The shots were fired at a demonstration of students at Alahabad. There was a curfew for many days. Gandhiji's non-cooperation movement was strengthening against the

British Government. In the shadow of the Second World War the cores from the Universities were giving a helping hand. In 1943 Bachchan applied for military training. He became Under

138 Officer first, and then became Lieutenant. He also remembers Jinha's demand for a different nation, the Hindu- Muslim riots. Their house was not aloof from it, as, during the Partition, each day had brought a news of Teji's relatives being murdered, or their houses torched. He also observes, "The partitioning of the country was fundamentally flawed, but the diplomacy of the British was having its intended effect." (p. 333) As he narrates the death of Tilak, he also narrates the assassination of Gandhiji and its effect on his generation as well as on the nation. He had expressed his reverence for Gandhiji in his poems eventually poems collected in two books, Khadi ke Phool, and Soot ki Mala, both published in 1948.

Harivansh Rai expresses a happy mood after a long time, in 1950s, after publishing

Milan Yamini (1950) and Pranay Patrika (1955). The poems of these two volumes transcend the sensuousness of his early verse. Ghar ke Idhar Udhar (1957) is a work of transition in which the poet was gradually returning to share the glory of his clan and family. In the next coWQCtion, Arati Aur Angare (1958), he celebrates his return to one's own heritage.

The third part—Far From Home— begins with the details of the Department of

English, Allahabad University, where he had started working since 1941. At that time the famous Urdu shayar Firaq Gorakhpuri was his colleague. Both poets had a feeling of fraternity for each other. He describes other colleagues also, only to tell how the professors of

English those days looked down upon a Hindi poet. In the early 1950s Bachchan took a rare opportunity to study in St Catherine's College, Cambridge, where he worked on W.B. Yeats under the supervision of the renowned English literature don Thomas Rice Henn. Although the principal objective was to study English-teaching methodology, Bachchan saw it as an opportunity to complete his previous studies on W. B. Yeats.

At the end of 1951, a circular came to the English department from the British council offering fund to teachers of English for travel to England, to observe teaching methodology at

139 the university level. He saw an opportunity to complete his research he had taken twelve years ago. When his application was turned down he came to know that Professor S. C. Deb, Head of English Department, had secretly applied for the same and took the fund himself!

Bachchan did not have enough money, about five thousand rupees, for his expenses for his stay in England. He went to Delhi, met Mr. Humayun Kabir, the secretary for education, then he met the education minister, Maulana Abul Kalam Azad; he even met the President of India,

Dr. Rajendra Prasad, but he failed to get any financial help from the government. Lastly, on

Teji's insistence, he met Jawaharlal Nehru. He sanctioned the sum of eight thousand rupees immediately. As seen earlier, the British Council refused the grant for travelling. Bachchan had already written to both Oxford and Cambridge universities, and had their consent. It would be pathetic to withdraw. At last he decided to go to England on his own. He went to

England in April, 1952. Here he met Marjorie, who translated Madhushala in English. She proved to be very helpful. Marjorie and, later, Ranvir Singh Bawa showed him unforgettable much affinity and love. He went to Cambridge and fell in love with the sight of the university and the town. Bachchan describes his first impressions of the city:

Cambridge enchanted me from very first glimpse: the banks of the slowly-flowing Cam,

flanked by rows of centuries-old buildings and crossed by bridges of various designs ...

Even slight knowledge of history would project the faces of Newton, Bacon, Darwin,

Spenser, Cromwell and Milton onto the scene—and of Marlowe, Gray, Thackeray,

Wordsworth, Byron and Tennyson; and from my own country, Ramanujam, Aurobindo,

Iqbal, Subhas Rose and Jawaharlal. I saw Cambridge in both its contemporary and its

historical dimension, and if I were to describe my first reactions, I would have to say I

was overwhelmed: entranced by its cultivated beauty, humbled by its extraordinary gifts

to the world, (pp. 369-70)

140 Bachchan decided to work in one university only, and he chose Cambridge. Now he had to manage his finance as he could get help from Cambridge only for six months. Here he learnt the art of living on a few shillings in student digs. He was acquainted with and became friend of many Indians- Vishvanath Dutt, Rupchand Sahni, and Bawa taught him how to live economically and save money. He had to complete the research in two years. He visited

Ireland for over a month to study some original documents. Yeats's widow received him most graciously and helped him. Although problems and distractions abounded, he successfully completed the thesis. His viva took place in May, 1954 and on 1st of June the result was displayed on the notice board. Bachchan became one of the first Indian students to complete a literature PhD at Cambridge.

In June 1954 Herm wTote a reference for Bachchan describing his thesis as a:

... genuine contribution to our knowledge, [that] will be of great assistance to future students

of the work of WB Yeats ... [Bachchan] has a tremendous enthusiasm for his subject, and

an unusual sensibility to English poetry and its background in religion, philosophy and

social history. He also has the outstanding advantage of being a poet in his own right.

(University of Cambridge, 18 August 2010)

Bachchan and Henn built a close relationship during his time at Cambridge and remained in touch on his return to India. Eleven years after leaving the University Bachchan's thesis was published to coincide with the Yeats centenary; Dr Henn wrote the preface.

Bachchan was awarded his doctorate after two years at Cambridge: the significance of this achievement should not be underestimated. He had left his wife and two children in India whilst he studied; he and his family endured financial hardship and the trials of a long separation, including malicious rumours levelled against him and his family. A malicious rumour was that Bachchan was going to settle in England marrying a Muslim girl whom he

141 met in England after ten or eleven years. Even when Nehru came to Cambridge, he also asked

Bachchan that he had heard something about him. Achieving his doctorate was vindication of the sacrifices they had made and meant that 'his honour was saved'.

On his going back to Allahabad, however, the "England-returned" scholar was cold- shouldered by his jealous colleagues at the department. Dr. Dastoor was the only exception.

However, according to Bishan Tondon there is no reliable evidence that he was insulted purposefully. He held something back in his mind. He soon left academia to work as a radio producer, then as a "Hindi Officer" in Jawaharlal Nehru's Ministry of External Affairs.

In his later works he charts his path from loneliness and futility of existence to the emerging joys of life. The element of irony returns in another form in his poems after 1958, the first manifestation being in Buddha aur Nachghar (Buddha and the Dance Hall). He wrote the poems of this collection while in Cambridge. In his own opinion Buddha aur Nachghar was the turning point of his poetic career, as he was able to express the scene and anger of the society around him. For instance, his poem 'Kadua Anubhav' (A Bitter Experience) speaks of an elevated humanity in these words:

(One) should have a big heart To felicitate some body And to respect some body's weaknesses

It is the thing of prophet's power, The work of gods. {Buddha Aur Nachghar, 1958: 105) The last poem of this collection is titled as 'Buddh Aur Nachghar'. In it the poet criticizes the so called rich and modern people whose drawing rooms are decorated by the idol of Buddha. The principles of Buddha are forgotten by them. He sees in England that there is an image of Buddha at one side in a house, and the dancing hall at the other. He hears the sound of an orchestra:

142 Madyam saranam gachchami,

Masam saranam gachchami,

Dancem saranam gachchami.

(I surrender to wine, meat and dance)

(Buddha Aur Nachghar, 1958)

Bachchan very appropriately uses the words imitating the holy prayer of the Buddhists. There

is no better criticism than this poem, of hypocrisy and materialism.

His other collections of this phase are Tribhangima, Char Kheme Chaunsath Khoonte,

Roop aur Awaz, and Bahut Din Beete in which he had experimented with the language of

folklore. Bachchan moved on to social satire in these volumes. This time he was more

concerned with contemporary life, the hoUowness and villainy in society and politics.

He soon left academia to worlc as a radio producer, then, on Nehru's behest, as a

"Hindi Officer" in Jawaharlal Nehru's Ministry of External Affairs. When he was ready to

leave the university, not his colleagues but his students felt very sorry. Bachchan says, "...

they presented me with a copy of Montaigne's Selected Essays, signed by every one of

them....teaching yields no greater boon; ...But had I received it in less generous measure, I

would have felt the pain of missing it that much less on leaving." (p. 437)

Bachchan also remembers the famous writers of Alahabad such as Pt. Sumitranandan

Pant, Pt. Suryakant Tripathi 'Nirala', Mahadevi Varma, Dr. Dhirendra Varma,

Bhagvaticharan Varma, Dharmaveer Bharti, Ramswarup Chaturvedi, Dr. Prabhakar Machwe,

Ageya, Umakant Malaviya, Upendtranath 'Ashk', Ilachand Joshi, Bharat Bhushan Agrawal,

Amrit Rai etc, with friendliness. Many of them were his close friends.

At the end of the third part, Bachchan takes leave of his readers saying that he will not

write any more. But, like his earlier oaths 'not to write poetry', he broke this oath, too, and for

the good. Because, after this he wrote the Epilogue, that became the cause for the Saraswati

143 Samman. Narrating much about his life as an Officer on Duty, his visits to different countries

as a diplomat, his son Amitabh's 'larger than life' success as a legend of Hindi Cinema/

Bollywood, Ajitabh's success as a successful businessman, grand children, his stay in his own house in Delhi 'Sopan', and his last stay in Mumbai with Amitabh.

The last part, Epilogue: From Dashdwar to Sopan begins with a note of dejection on the first look at the MEA's 'Hindi Section office'. It was actually a kitchenette converted into

the office room. This mood further strengthened when he saw that not a single officer

believed that Hindi should ever be used as a medium of work in the Ministry. Bachchan began

his work as an Officer on Duty in very difficult circumstances. His work came under the

Foreign Ministry, and he had to 'help actively in the use of Hindi in Foreign Ministry', which

meant to translate many official documents. He worked whole heartedly. To enhance the use

of Hindi in the Ministry he proposed some very practical plans which were very snobbishly

driven away by Subimal Dutt, then foreign secretary. This curtness showed Bachchan the

limitation of his work. A litterateur and a teacher like Bachchan was unable to cope up with

the environment of the office. Even he decided to search other job and sent an application to

the Humanities of I I T Kharagpur for the post of Professor, but was not selected. Bachchan

looked on his ministry work askance, realising that the establishment of a separate Hindi

section in the ministry was a mere sop to the movement that sought to promote Hindi as a true

national language. Then he thought if he had the work of translation why he should not

translate an immortal work; he decided to translate Shakespeare's plays. He translated

Macbeth first, then Othello into Hindi. While living in Allahabad, Teji Bachchan had become

a close friend of Nehru's daughter Indira. This family connection was maintained after the

Bachchans moved to Delhi, where Teji blossomed socially, acting in Shakespeare plays

translated into Hindi by her husband. He had also translated Bhagwad Geeta in Awadhi, as

144 iangeeta in 1966. At the same time he continued to participate in kavi sammelans in the capital. He also translated Nehru's English biography into Hindi.

He had several chances to visit different countries not as an employee of the Foreign

Ministry, but as a well-known poet. In 1959 he visited Belgium and then he went on to

Amsterdam, Paris, Versailles, Rome and Florence. After retirement he got extension of four months and then he was nominated on the Rajya Sabha in 1966, for six years. Gradually

Bachchan himself became part of the cultural establishment, representing his country on numerous tours to foreign capitals. He was invited to head a delegation at a conference of the

Afro-Asian Writers' Association in Beirut; he was again invited by the ministry of education to travel to Russia, Mongolia, Czechoslovakia and East Germany as part of the cultural exchange programme. He visited Russia three times and in the last visit suffered from chronic ulcer. He was hospitalized for several days there.

Meanwhile the growing Bachchan boys found great success in their chosen careers:

Amitabh became the very archetype of the Hindi film actor, while Ajitabh went into business.

Bachchan, with all the family had to go with Amitabh where his shooting was. He tells about the accident of Amitabh that took place at the shooting of the film Coolie.

He witnessed the time of emergency, the defeat of Indira Gandhi in elections, the death of Sanjay Gandhi. He was always in favour of the Gandhi Family, even in the emergency. His writing continued unabated - always in Hindi, except for the English dissertation from Cambridge (published as W.B. Yeats and Occultism, 1965). Undeterred by criticism and steeled by domestic difficulties like financial worries, loneliness, which was compounded by the untimely death of his first wife Shyama, Harivansh Rai continued to write, combining mature subtlety with discretion. His marriage with Teji Suri changed the course of his life and, by his own admission, his poetry. His creative career, which began in

145 1932 and continued till 1995, was a 63-year literary journey. From the Sixties onwards he

began writing a serial autobiography, the first of whose four volumes, Kya Bhulum, Kya Yaad

Karun , 1969, was quickly seen to be a modem classic, a sublime invocation of his family

background and of the emotional turbulence of his early years. In a long span of twenty two

years he completed four volumes of his autobiography. The second volume. Need ka Nirman

Phir was published in 1970, and the third, Basere se Door, in 1977. At the end of this volume

he took farewell of his readers. However, he wrote the last volume, Dashdwar se Sopan Tak

in 1985. His autobiography has become a classic of Hindi literature. An abridgement of his

autobiography appeared in 1998 entitled In the Afternoon of Time, from Penguin Books

India). Not only Hindi readers but, when translated into English, it attracted a large number of

readers in India and abroad. In retirement, often in indifferent health, Bachchan and Teji

began to live under the long protective care of Amitabh in Bombay, and an attentive family.

Harviansh Rai Bachchan leaves nine volumes of "collected works", including a legacy

of Hindi verse hardly to be matched by any 20th-century author.

He had set a model of lyricism in Hindi poetry and his contribution in changing the

temper, approach and style of poetry during the 30s has been very significant. The varied

influences of Kabir, Keats, Tagore and Omar Khayyam were evident throughout his poetry, as

also a deep appreciation of Shakespeare whom he had translated in Hindi.The influence of

Mahatma Gandhi on Hindi writers has been distinctly profound during the decades following

the Satyagraha (1921) and before the end of the Second World War. And Bachchan too has

not escaped from it. He had brought out his collection on Gandhi, called Khadi Ke Phool

(1948), in collaboration with Sumitranandan Pant. In 2003, an Indian postage stamp was

released in his memory.

146 Rai Bachchan's autobiography is a transparent and conniving evidence of a tone-setter in modern Hindi literature, a witness to an eventful era of upheavels, a schlor and cultural icon and a man who lived a long life of respectability and fulfillment, leaving behind not only poetry of high merit but a son who has scaled even greater heights of artistic and material success. Reading the autobiography (and the poems) of Rai Bachchan is an enriching experience.

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