MIT’s The Weather Oldest and Largest Today: Chance of rain, 50°F (10°C) Tonight: Mostly clear, 37°F (3°C) Newspaper Tomorrow: Partly sunny, 52°F (11°C) Details, Page 2

Volume 124, Number 18 Cambridge, Massachusetts 02139 Friday, April 9, 2004 Unlicensed Viewings Singh Elected as GSC President, Make MIT Pay $14K, Treasurer Position Still Unfilled By Kathy Dobson and Lucy Wong G treasurer. The from the academic departments and STAFF REPORTER election for treasurer was postponed programs, representatives from the Seek Blanket License The Graduate Student Council until either a special session or the dormitories, off-campus representa- held elections for its 2004-2005 next general council meeting, to be tives, the chairs of the GSC commit- By Marissa Vogt sites and mailed them to MIT,” officials on Wednesday. Barun held on May 5. tees, the ASA President, and some NEWS EDITOR Robinson said. Singh G was elected president, Hec- The candidates were elected by MIT recently paid $14,000 to a He said he did not know the tor H. Hernandez G vice president, current officers, representatives GSC, Page 16 copyright licensing company that name of the company that took the found evidence that several student screenshots, and would not say groups held publicized, unlicensed which student groups had advertised showings of copyrighted movies. the films without a license. As a result, MIT is exploring the The $14,000 that MIT paid was option of purchasing a blanket not so much a fine for not having a copyright license that would allow copyright license, but more of a student groups to legally show back payment for showing the movies, said Thomas E. Robinson, movies in the first place, Robinson program coordinator for student life said. He said that MIT has an estab- programs. Without such a license, lished working relationship with the both student groups and dormitories company, and the payment served to are not allowed to publicly show “both to enforce copyright[s] and films. give us a warning.” He said that the Student Activi- Web sites indict student groups ties Office has worked with both the MIT was notified that three or Association of Student Activities four student groups had advertised and the Intellectual Property Office, showings of copyrighted movies on which dealt directly with the copy- their Web sites. right licensing company to resolve “An outside company went on the issue. student group Web sites and actual- ly took screenshots of those Web Copyright, Page 15 Hackers Fined, Warned Over Wright Bros. Plane FRANK DABEK—THE TECH By Marissa Vogt this and previous times was the Barun Singh G was elected GSC president Wednesday in the only contested position on the ballot. NEWS EDITOR process of a hearing. A group of hackers responsible “What happened to me when I for putting the replica of the Wright was caught before, and in anything CME To See Increase in MIT Participants Brother’s plane on the Great Dome I’ve ever heard of anyone being By Kelley Rivoire Exchange (CME) program. Current- Dean for Undergraduate Education, on Dec. 17, 2003 was recently pun- caught, there was no hearing,” said STAFF REPORTER ly, 28 MIT juniors are studying at said she estimates that approximate- ished. Oliver E. Kosut ’04, one of Kosut. “The fact that there was one Thirty-seven applications have Cambridge University as part of the ly 35 MIT students will attend Cam- the six hackers who were caught, been submitted by MIT sophomores program. bridge University this fall, even said that he was informed mid-Feb- Hackers, Page 18 for the 2004-2005 Cambridge-MIT Margaret S. Enders, Associate though the program can accommo- ruary by assistant dean for student date 50 students from each universi- discipline Carol Orme-Johnson that ty. This is mainly because of a lack the MIT Police had filed a formal of applications from MIT. complaint. MIT sophomores can still apply According to Kosut, he was then to the CME for the 2004-2005 year. told that he would have to go through a hearing process with one Interest different among majors dean and one student, held in mid- In order to make a relatively March. Kosut said he received a $50 equal exchange, the number of stu- fine and was placed on disciplinary dents who can come from Cam- warning, which the Office of Stu- bridge is limited to some extent by dent Discipline’s Web site defines the number of applications from as “written notice that the conduct MIT. Enders said that typically, engaged in is inconsistent with more Cambridge students than MIT Institute policies/standards” along students apply, so it is more difficult with notification “that future viola- for Cambridge students to be admit- tions may result in the imposition of ted to the program. more serious sanctions.” In addition, the number of stu- According to Kosut, a note dents who can come from each describing the punishment was department at Cambridge is limited placed on his official record. The by the number of MIT students from letter, Kosut said, “stays in my offi- each department who attend. Since cial record until I graduate” and aerospace, mechanical, civil, and “stays in the memory of the Com- electrical engineering are all under mittee on Discipline forever.” the same department at Cambridge Kosut would not comment on University, they have more flexibili- the identities or punishments of the ty in choosing the students. other five hackers who were caught. CME had 27 MIT participants in Orme-Johnson said that she could its first full year and 44 in its sec- not discuss the specifics of any dis- ond, making its drop to 28 last year ciplinary case. surprising. PETER R. RUSSO—THE TECH Enders said that she believes Three options involve hearings (left to right) Noe Kamelamela ’05, Sheldon Brown, and Ashley H. Kim ’04 prepare to hold a pic- several factors contribute to the Kosut, who says he has been nic on Mount Olympus in the MIT Gilbert and Sullivan Players’ production of “Thespis.” The pro- changes in the number of applicants caught while hacking before, said duction runs through April 18. that the main difference between Exchange, Page 17

X-statix mixes Comics OPINION World & Nation ...... 2 a kid feel in Basil Engwebara argues that Opinion ...... 4 with an adult America’s economic history may Arts ...... 6 world. remove the dollar from the lime- Features ...... 7 light of world trade. Events Calendar ...... 12 Page 6 Page 10 Page 5 Page 2 THE TECH April 9, 2004 WORLD & NATION Five Charged In Bomb Plot Iraqi Gunmen Threaten Lives THE NEW YORK TIMES LONDON British anti-terrorism authorities charged five men on Thursday with conspiring to build a bomb from 1,000 pounds of explosive Of Three Japanese Hostages material to be used against unspecified targets. The charges, along with those leveled in a Canadian court on THE NEW YORK TIMES Fallujah, 30 miles west of Bagh- Gen. Ricardo S. Sanchez, the U.S. Wednesday, connect seven young Pakistani immigrants — six of BAGHDAD, IRAQ dad, is enduring the heaviest fighting field commander in Iraq. “Secondly, them living on the outskirts of London and one living in Ottawa — As U.S. troops battled Sunni since U.S.-led forces swept across everyone needs to understand that with hatching a terrorist plot that, given the amount of explosive Muslim insurgents in Fallujah and the country and captured Baghdad a there is no more powerful force material, could have had devastating consequences. others began deploying south to year ago on Friday. Accounts by assembled on earth than this military The case became public on March 30, when 700 British police challenge insurgents who have reporters accompanying U.S. Marine force in this country that’s backed officers and intelligence officers raided homes and other properties, seized control of three major Shiite units said they were fighting street- up with our naval and air forces in arresting eight men and seizing a half ton of ammonium nitrate, a fer- cities, insurgents kidnapped several to-street on Thursday, taking heavy near proximity.” tilizer compound that can be used in explosives. foreign civilians Thursday and rocket, mortar and small arms fire In a message directed at the Charged on Thursday were Anthony Garcia, 21; Jawad Akbar, 20; threatened to execute them. from factories, homes and mosques. insurgent leaders in Fallujah and at Omar Khyam, 22; Waheed Mahmoud, 32; and Nabeel Hussein, 19. Three Japanese civilians Two U.S. soldiers were killed on Muqtada al-Sadr, the Shiite cleric appeared in a video broadcast on the Thursday, according to the Central who has led the Shiite insurrections Al-Jazeera news channel blindfold- Command, raising the number of across southern Iraq, Abizaid added: Bush Names Businessman To Halt ed, while their black-garbed captors U.S. troops killed in less than a “The fact that we have been so judi- threatened them with guns, knives week of fighting to nearly 40. cious in the use of this force should Manufacturing Job Losses and swords. Reports from Fallujah hospitals sug- not be lost on anybody. This country THE NEW YORK TIMES A statement by a previously- gested that more than 289 Iraqis had will not suffer intimidation by the CRAWFORD, TEXAS unknown group calling itself the been killed, although that figure United States of America. But those President Bush on Thursday nominated a California businessman Mujahideen Brigades gave Japan could not be independently con- who oppose moving democracy for- to a senior position in the Commerce Department charged with three days to withdraw its 550-man firmed. ward will have to pay the conse- reversing the precipitous drop in manufacturing jobs over the last troop contingent from Iraq before In an interview at the U.S. com- quences if they don’t cease and three years. That decline continues to be a serious liability for Bush’s the hostages, a man and a woman in mand’s headquarters in a complex of desist.” re-election campaign. Iraq as aid workers, and a male jour- lakeside palaces near Baghdad air- Abizaid said that in his discus- The businessman, Albert A. Frink Jr., is the executive vice presi- nalist, would be killed. In Tokyo, the port, Abizaid gave a stark warning sions with Sanchez and with Wash- dent and a founder of Fabrica International, a relatively small compa- chief Cabinet secretary, Yasuo for the Iraqi fighters, from the ington, “everything is on the table,” ny, based in Santa Ana, Calif., that makes high-end carpeting. He has Fukuda, called the abductions minority Sunni as well as the major- including accelerating the return to not served in government before, although he has been on a federal “unforgiveable”, but said they did ity Shiite populations, who have Iraq of the 3rd Infantry Division, advisory panel on textiles. not justify a Japanese withdrawal. changed the landscape of the war whose troops led the capture of Commerce Secretary Donald L. Evans introduced Frink on Thurs- As the war took a menacing turn, dramatically since the the ambush Baghdad last year before being day during a visit to a company in Mount Vernon, Ohio, that makes Gen. John P. Abizaid, head of the last week of four American security rotated home. natural-gas compressors. Evans said Frink’s “extensive background U.S. Central Command, visited guards in Fallujah. “There’s all sorts of combina- as a manufacturer makes him a great candidate to serve because he Baghdad and declared that he would “First, we are going to win,” tions and permutations,” he said. has walked in their shoes and knows firsthand the barriers that are use all necessary force to quell the Abizaid said, seated at a table in a “And you need to say that, because challenging American manufacturers.” insurgency sweeping the country. marbled palace hall alongside Lt. the decisions have not been made.” China Backs Away From Contested Dam Project Rice Testifies That FBI Warned THE NEW YORK TIMES BEIJING Prime Minister Wen Jiabao has unexpectedly suspended plans for Bush about Potential Attacks a massive dam system on the Nu River in western China that scientists have warned could ruin one of the country’s last unspoiled places, By Philip Shenon sented to him on Aug. 6, 2001, at the details in the report have been according to news reports in China and Hong Kong. THE NEW YORK TIMES his Texas ranch had carried an omi- acknowledged previously by the Wen’s intervention signals that China’s top leaders have not WASHINGTON nous title: “’Bin Laden Determined White House, including its refer- approved a plan that most dam opponents had considered a fait Condoleezza Rice, President to Attack Inside the United States.”’ ence to possible hijackings. accompli. His personal involvement is a rare and surprising response Bush’s national security adviser, Under often harsh questioning Rice was one of two high-profile in a nondemocratic government that in the past has shown little con- testified Thursday that President from Democratic members of the witnesses appearing before the com- cern about the environmental effects of major public works projects. Bush was warned a month before panel, Rice dismissed the impor- mission on Thursday, but the only In written instructions, the news reports said, Wen ordered officials the Sept. 11 terror attacks that the tance of the still-classified August 6, to testify in public. Former Presi- to conduct a major review of the hydropower project, which calls for a FBI had detected “suspicious activi- 2001, report that had been prepared dent Bill Clinton was interviewed in 13-stage dam. Environmentalists consider the Nu, which rises in Tibet ty” that suggested terrorists were by the Central Intelligence Agency, the afternoon and told the panel that and flows 1,750 miles through Yunnan Province between the Mekong planning a domestic hijacking. She describing it in her testimony as since the attacks he has been asking and Yangtze rivers, one of the last pristine rivers in Asia. Its upper said he was also told that the bureau “historical information based on old himself repeatedly what his admin- reaches flow through a canyon region so rich in biodiversity that last was conducting 70 investigations of reporting — there was no new threat istration could have done to prevent year a United Nations agency declared it a World Heritage Site. possible al-Qaida terrorist cells information.” the tragedy, members of the com- “We should carefully consider and make a scientific decision operating within American borders. There has been dispute within mission said afterward. about major hydroelectric projects like this that have aroused a high In her long-awaited sworn testi- the administration over the accuracy In a statement released after the level of concern in society, and with which the environmental protec- mony before the independent com- of the intelligence in the report, and three-hour session, the commission tion side disagrees,” Wen wrote, according to Meng Pao, a Hong mission investigating the Sept. 11 FBI officials have said that it described Clinton as “forthcoming Kong newspaper. attacks, Rice acknowledged that the appears to overstate the scope and and responsive” and thanked him for The announcement appeared in a variety of Chinese news outlets. special intelligence briefing that had significance of their counterterror- “the excellent cooperation that he been requested by Bush and pre- ism efforts before Sept. 11. Some of and his associates have given to us.” WEATHER Easter Gloom Situation for Noon Eastern Daylight Time, Friday, April 9, 2004

130¡W 125¡W 120¡W 115¡W 110¡W 105¡W 100¡W 95¡W 90¡W 85¡W 80¡W 75¡W 70¡W 65¡W 60¡W 40¡N By Michael J. Ring STAFF METEOROLOGIST After a few days of welcome sunshine this week, the weather appears ready to take another stormy turn as several systems tracking across the country head in our direction. 35¡N

Today’s clouds and showers are actually part of a larger storm system 998 which brought heavier rain to the southern Plains earlier in the week and the

Southeast yesterday. As the low moves offshore it is expected to strengthen ▲ ▲ further but pass by to our south. After receiving over six inches of rain in 30¡N

the storm of March 31-April 1, we are fortunate to miss the brunt of this ▲

one. ▲

While Saturday should be a quiet day, a low pressure system currently ▲

1012 over the southern Rockies should approach our area by Sunday, giving us ▲

25¡N

our next bout of rain. This system may stall over our region, making for a ▲ gloomy few days until the pattern clears at the middle of next week. ▲

Extended Forecast Today: Cloudy with a chance of showers. High near 50°F (10°C). Tonight: Partial clearing. Low near 37°F (3°C). Tomorrow: Partly sunny, High near 52°F (11°C). Tomorrow night: Clouding up with a chance of showers late. Low near Weather Systems Weather Fronts Precipitation Symbols Other Symbols 38°F (4°C). Snow Rain Fog Easter: Cloudy with intermittent rain. High near 48°F (9°C). Low near High Pressure Trough - - - Showers Thunderstorm

41°F (5°C). ◗ ◗ ◗ ◗ Warm Front Light Low Pressure Haze Monday: Continued cloudy and showery. High near 50°F (10°C). ▲▲▲▲▲ Cold Front Moderate Compiled by MIT Hurricane ◗ ◗ Meteorology Staff ▲ ▲ Stationary Front Heavy and The Tech April 9, 2004 WORLD & NATION THE TECH Page 3

Blackwater Says Its Employees Three Plead Guilty In Computer Associates Case Were Lured Into Iraqi Ambush THE NEW YORK TIMES As three former executives of Computer Associates pleaded guilty By David Barstow government relations at Blackwater, by imposters wearing defense corps to securities fraud on Thursday, the federal prosecutors investigating THE NEW YORK TIMES said in an interview, offering the uniforms. But the convoy, on a mis- the company’s accounting practices left little doubt that they are zero- The four private security con- company’s first detailed account of sion to pick up kitchen equipment, ing in on Sanjay Kumar, the company’s chairman and chief executive. tractors killed, burned and mutilated the attack. had little cause for suspicion: The Kumar was the second-ranking executive at Computer Associ- in Fallujah last week were in fact “We were set up,” he said. Iraqi escort was pre-arranged and ates throughout the late 1990s, a period when current and former lured into a carefully planned Two senior Pentagon officials met with the convoy as planned at employees say the company used accounting tricks to overstate its ambush by men they believed to be said on Thursday they could not an intersection just east of Fallujah. sales and profits. friendly members of the Iraqi Civil independently confirm the conclu- Imposters or not, Toohey said, Charles B. Wang, the company’s founder and its top executive Defense Corps, according to Patrick sions of the Blackwater investiga- the incident underscored deepening during that period, retired in 2002; Kumar remains at Computer Toohey, a senior executive at the tion, and that a separate military concern about the reliability of the Associates. In 1998, Wang, Kumar and a third executive received a security firm, Blackwater USA. inquiry was still ongoing. Iraqi civil defense forces at a time $1.1 billion bonus tied to the performance of the company’s stock. The Iraqi men, Toohey said, Toohey said his company’s when coalition troops are fighting in The three men who pleaded guilty Thursday are all cooperating promised the Blackwater-led con- investigation of the incident, which many parts of Iraq to suppress mili- with federal prosecutors in Brooklyn, N.Y. They include Ira H. Zar, voy safe and swift passage through included interviews with convoy tant Sunni and Shiite groups. the company’s former chief financial officer, who noted in his plea the dangerous city, but instead, a drivers who survived the ambush, Toohey’s account, if confirmed, that he reported directly to Kumar. Prosecutors rarely offer defen- few kilometers later, they suddenly had not yet determined whether the could deflect blame for the incident dants shorter sentences in return for their cooperation unless they blocked off the road, preventing any Blackwater employees were led into from Blackwater. Yet the company’s believe the defendants have information that may be valuable in tar- escape from waiting gunmen. Fallujah by active members of the initial findings are in line with recent geting higher-ranking executives. “The truth is we got led into this Iraqi Civil Defense Corps, or complaints from senior American ambush,” Toohey, vice president for whether they were led into the city officials about Iraqi forces. FCC To Fine Clear Channel $495,000 Over Stern Show Warlord Seizes Provincial Capital THE NEW YORK TIMES The Federal Communications Commission announced Thursday that it intended to fine the radio giant Clear Channel Communications $495,000 for statements about anal sex and other sexual activities In Afghanistan, Draws Criticism that were broadcast on Howard Stern’s radio show last April. The By Carlotta Gall had seized control in four districts ment has been forced from power fine prompted Clear Channel to permanently remove the program THE NEW YORK TIMES throughout the province, they said. by an armed faction, and will be a from its six stations that carried it. KABUL The governor and his top offi- test of Karzai and his government’s The FCC also said Thursday that it had directed its enforcement Forces loyal to Gen. Abdul cials fled in the morning after a ability to reassert control. Dostum bureau to begin investigating the possibility of levying fines on the Rashid Dostum seized control of the demonstration turned violent and is Karzai’s representative in the Infinity Broadcasting Corp., the Viacom unit that distributes Stern’s capital of Faryab province in north- protesters began stoning the gover- north and has often voiced support program and broadcasts it on 18 of its stations. ern Afghanistan on Thursday, forc- nor’s office, the interior minister, for the central government. Yet he Because the initial complaint about Stern’s program - specifically, ing the governor to flee and drawing Ali Ahmad Jalali, told a news brief- has been an advocate for a federat- several minutes of a show last April — was made by a listener who a sharp rebuke from President ing. The governor of neighboring ed state and has been reluctant to had heard it on a Clear Channel station in Fort Lauderdale, Fla., the Hamid Karzai and his ministers in Sar-e-Pul province also fled his give up military and economic con- commission had focused its initial investigation on the company and Kabul. post, Jalali said. There were no trol of his region. its subsidiaries, commission officials said. The central government ordered reported casualties. Coming just two weeks after It was unclear whether the FCC would eventually expand its inves- in troops of the Afghan National Dostum was trying to “stamp his heavy fighting in the western tigation to other radio companies that also carry Stern’s program. Army, along with their American authority on the region,” Jalali told province of Herat, a time when Clear Channel, which announced the temporary suspension of trainers, but they arrived too late to journalists on Thursday afternoon. Afghan National Army troops were Stern’s program from its stations earlier this year after the commission prevent the takeover of power. It “What General Dostum has done is also deployed, the power struggle in began its investigation, has 30 days to respond to the proposed fine. was more a political coup than a against all military rules and the con- Faryab highlights the continuing In a statement, John Hogan, the president and chief executive of military clash, with just some shoot- stitution of Afghanistan,” he said. instability and the prevalence of Clear Channel Radio, did not comment directly on the commission’s ing in the air in the city, witnesses It is the first time that a governor armed militias that are plaguing findings but was sharply critical of Stern. said. But militia loyal to Dostum appointed by the central govern- much of the country.

Rape happens at MIT.

Take Back the Night

Friday, April 30, 7 PM Student Center Steps

As part of Take Back the Night, we are collecting anonymous stories of sexual assault that will be read aloud at the event. If you have experienced sexual violence and would like to share your story, please visit http://web.mit.edu/stop/www/survivor.htm.

For more info: [email protected].

Page 4 THE TECH April 9, 2004 OPINION

Chairman Hangyul Chung ’05 Editor in Chief Brian Loux ’04 Business Manager Roy K. Esaki ’04 Managing Editor David Carpenter ’05

NEWS STAFF News and Features Director: Beckett W. Sterner ’06; News Editors: Kathy Lin ’06, Marissa Vogt ’06, Jenny Zhang ’06; Associate Editors: Waseem S. Daher ’07, Tongyan Lin ’07, Gireeja V. Ranade ’07, Julián E. Villarreal ’07; Staff: Kathy Dobson G, Jeffrey Greenbaum ’04, Eun J. Lee ’04, Michael E. Rolish ’04, Jay K. Cameron ’05, Christine Fry ’05, Sam Hwang ’05, Issel Anne L. Lim ’05, Jessi- ca A. Zaman ’05, Brian C. Keegan ’06, Lauren E. LeBon ’06, Kelley M. Rivoire ’06, Jennifer Wong ’06, Ray C. He ’07; Meteorologists: Samantha L. H. Hess G, Vikram Khade G, Robert Lindsay Korty G, Greg Lawson G, Nikki Privé G, William Ram- strom G, Michael J. Ring G.

PRODUCTION STAFF Editors: Andrew Mamo ’04, Sie Hendrata Dhar- mawan ’05, Tiffany Dohzen ’06; Associate Editor: Nicholas R. Hoff ’05; Staff: Joel C. Corbo ’04, Joy Forsythe ’04, Kevin Chen ’05, Albert Leung ’06, Jolinta Lin ’06, Jonathan Reinharth ’06, Jennifer Huang ’07, Yaser M. Khan ’07, Y. Grace Lin ’07, EunMee Yang ’07, Sylvia Yang ’07.

OPINION STAFF Editor: Vivek Rao ’05; Columnist: Andrew C. Thomas ’04; Staff: Basil Enwegbara SM ’01, Gretchen K. Aleks ’04, Ken Nesmith ’04, Atif Z. Qadir ’04, W. Victoria Lee ’06, Daniel Barclay ’07, Ruth Miller ’07, Chen Zhao ’07.

SPORTS STAFF Editor: Phil Janowicz ’05, Brian Chase ’06; Staff: Yong-yi Zhu ’06.

ARTS STAFF Editors: Christine R. Fry ’05, Amy Lee ’06; Associate Editor: Kevin G. Der ’06; Staff: Bog- dan Fedeles G, Xian Ke G, Ruby Lam G, Sonja Sharpe G, Fred Choi ’02, Chikako Sassa ’02, Jed Horne ’04, Pey-Hua Hwang ’04, Josiah Q. Seale ’04, Petar Simich ’04.

PHOTOGRAPHY STAFF Editors: Peter R. Russo ’02, Brian Hemond ’04, Jina Kim ’06; Associate Editors: Daniel Bersak ’02, Jonathan T. Wang ’05; Staff: Marcus Dahlem G, Wendy Gu G, Stanley Hu ’00, Scott Johnston ’03, Miguel A. Calles ’04, Jimmy Cheung ’04, Ben Gallup ’04, Dmitry Portnyagin ’04, Hassen Abdu ’06, Matt D. Brown ’06, John M. Cloutier ’06, Grant Jordan ’06, Stephanie Lee ’06, Edward Platt ’06, Omoleye Roberts ’06, Rene Chen ’07.

FEATURES STAFF Editor: Akshay Patil ’04; Associate Editors: Tiffany Kosolcharoen ’06; Columnists: Bruce Wu G, Kailas Narendran ’01, Ian Ybarra ’04, Mark Liao ’06, Rose Grabowski ’05, Danchai Mekade- naumporn ’05, Alex Nelson ’06, Zach Ozer ’07, Dan Scolnic ’07; Cartoonists: Jason Burns G, Jumaane Jeffries ’02, Sergei R. Guma ’04, Sean Liu ’04, Jennifer Peng ’05, Nancy Phan ’05, Qian Wang ’05.

BUSINESS STAFF Operations Manager: Lauren W. Leung ’07; Errata Staff: Jyoti R. Tibrewala ’04, Lynn K. Kamimoto ’05, Chris Ruggiero ’07.

TECHNOLOGY STAFF In Tuesday’s Letters to the Editor section, the editor’s note puted 1998 study. It was in January 2003, not 2004. Staff: Frank Dabek G, Roshan Baliga ’03, Daniel written by Akshay Patil was improperly labeled as an editor’s Another Tuesday article [“GSC Officer Nominations Conclude, Leeds ’05, Lisa Wray ’07. response. No VP Named”] misstated the involvement of Barun Singh G in the A Tuesday article [“Missile Review Still On”] misstated the year 2002 Graduate Student Life Survey. Singh prepared the summary EDITORS AT LARGE in which Provost Robert A. Brown decided to accept a recommenda- report of the survey, but was one of a number of individuals that cre- Senior Editors: Satwiksai Seshasai G, Keith J. tion for a full investigation into alleged scientific misconduct in a dis- ated, implemented, and analyzed the survey. Winstein G, Jennifer Krishnan ’04; Contributing Editors: Jeremy Baskin ’04, Devdoot Majumdar ’04. ADVISORY BOARD Opinion Policy property of The Tech, and will not be returned. The Tech makes no Peter Peckarsky ’72, Paul E. Schindler, Jr. ’74, V. commitment to publish all the letters received. Michael Bove ’83, Barry Surman ’84, Robert E. Editorials are the official opinion of The Tech. They are written The Tech’s Ombudsman, reachable by e-mail at ombuds- Malchman ’85, Deborah A. Levinson ’91, by the editorial board, which consists of the chairman, editor in [email protected], serves as the liaison between The Tech and chief, opinion editor, a senior editor, and an opinion staffer. Jonathan Richmond PhD ’91, Saul Blumenthal its readers. From time to time, the Ombudsman writes an indepen- ’98, Joseph Dieckhans ’00, Ryan Ochylski ’01, Dissents are the opinions of signed members of the editorial dent column reflecting the complaints, questions, and concerns of Rima Arnaout ’02, Eric J. Cholankeril ’02, Ian Lai board choosing to publish their disagreement with the editorial. the readership. ’02, Nathan Collins SM ’03, B. D. Colen. Letters to the editor, columns, and editorial cartoons are writ- OMBUDSMAN ten by individuals and represent the opinion of the author, not nec- essarily that of the newspaper. Electronic submissions are encour- To Reach Us John A. Hawkinson aged and should be sent to [email protected]. Hard copy PRODUCTION STAFF FOR THIS ISSUE submissions should be addressed to The Tech, P.O. Box 397029, The Tech’s telephone number is (617) 253-1541. E-mail is the Editors: Sie Hendrata Dharmawan ’05, Tiffany Cambridge, Mass. 02139-7029, or sent by interdepartmental mail to easiest way to reach any member of our staff. If you are unsure Dohzen ’06; Staff: Jennifer Huang ’07, EunMee Room W20-483. All submissions are due by 4:30 p.m. two days whom to contact, send mail to [email protected], and it will Yang ’07. before the date of publication. be directed to the appropriate person. Please send press releases,

The Tech (ISSN 0148-9607) is published on Tuesdays and Fridays during the academic year Letters, columns, and cartoons must bear the authors’ signatures, requests for coverage, and information about errors that call for cor- (except during MIT vacations), Wednesdays during January and monthly during the summer for $45.00 per year Third Class by The Tech, Room W20-483, 84 Massachusetts Ave., Cambridge, addresses, and phone numbers. Unsigned letters will not be accepted. rection to [email protected]. Letters to the editor should be Mass. 02139. Third Class postage paid at Boston, Mass. Permit No. 1. POSTMASTER: Please sent to [email protected]. The Tech can be found on the send all address changes to our mailing address: The Tech, P.O. Box 397029, Cambridge, Mass. The Tech reserves the right to edit or condense letters; shorter letters 02139-7029. Telephone: (617) 253-1541, editorial; (617) 258-8329, business; (617) 258-8226, will be given higher priority. Once submitted, all letters become World Wide Web at http://the-tech.mit.edu. facsimile. Advertising, subscription, and typesetting rates available. Entire contents © 2004 The Tech. Printed on recycled paper by Charles River Publishing. April 9, 2004 OPINION THE TECH Page 5 Jail Bill Watterson 290,809,776 of whom are not Bill Watterson. comics may be tolerated for a period, slowly Amal Dorai Even if Mr. Watterson himself is inconve- this mediocrity will creep into the rest of the nienced, the people who read his new “Calvin newspaper like an infectious disease. If our I really liked “Calvin and Hobbes.” In fact, and Hobbes” strips will be thrilled to re-enter citizens do not rally to the defense of the I’m pretty sure most of you did, too. It was the magical world of a boy and his tiger. comics page in their time of need, they will like “The Simpsons”; not just funny, but Sometimes, we must make tough decisions for soon see grammatical errors in New York warm and insightful, taking us back to the the greater good of the greater number; some- Times headlines and sheets of blank newsprint carefree days of childhood. Yet Bill Watter- times, these decisions harm good people. This in The Washington Post. son cruelly stopped drawing “Calvin and is a mere inevitability of politics. 5) Our entire political and social system is Hobbes” in 1995, only ten years after it began, 2) Bill Watterson is a cartoonist. The equal threatened. Professor Peter Eigen of Trans- and well before it started to get old. It was still protection clause of the Fourteenth Amend- parency International has done groundbreak- funny, still great, and he just stopped. If I ment was written in 1868, before cartoonists ing research which proves that newspaper were the president of the United States, I’d ever existed. Had our founding fathers known readership and public perceptions of corrup- throw him in prison and force him to draw of “cartooning” and its implications, they tion are strongly correlated (see www.trans- more strips. would have explicitly exempted them from parency.org for further details). A decline in Before you go nodding your heads in certain rights, most likely the right to the the quality of our newspapers will obviously agreement, I’d like to point out a problem “pursuit of happiness” when it impinges upon lead to less readers, which in turn will allow with this plan: the Supreme Court. Even if I other citizens’ happiness. Although the Con- the government to perpetrate further abuses of did manage to get elected president, I just stitution may appear to protect cartoonists, its power. It is every citizen’s civic duty to know those pesky justices would disallow my this is merely an illusion caused by our pro- ensure that our political process remains a imprisonment of Mr. Watterson, citing consti- jection of our current society onto an ancient paragon of integrity. The only way to do this tutional concerns. They would claim that his document. is to re-introduce “Calvin and Hobbes” to imprisonment would violate his constitutional 3) Bill Watterson is a cartoonist by choice. American newspapers. rights, without ever considering our rights to Just as Yo-Yo Ma was not born a cellist nor 6) The majority of Americans want this to read “Calvin and Hobbes.” This is why I George W. Bush born a president, Bill Wat- happen. Ask the person on your right if he or would like to propose Amendment 28 to the terson was not born a cartoonist. His ultimate she would like to see “Calvin and Hobbes” United States Constitution: “Upon the ratifica- choice of profession was deliberate, as shown return to the funnies page. Now ask the person tion of this Amendment, Bill Watterson will by his dogged determination in the face of on your left. See? The foundation of a democ- be jailed for 15 years, or until he has produced multiple rejections. Although his rare inter- racy is the will of the people, and the people 5000 additional ‘Calvin and Hobbes’ strips.” views cite him as having been interested in demand “Calvin and Hobbes.” If Bill Watter- Amending the Constitution is no simple cartoons his whole life, it is obvious that he son refuses to accept this, we must resort to matter, and not one to be taken lightly. How- chose cartooning of his own volition, thereby the power of the law. The law we must resort ever, in this case, the benefits are so great that sacrificing some of the rights afforded to other to does not exist yet, but it will if my fellow we have no other recourse. While the sensible workers. Americans support me on this critical issue. readers among you understand that this plan 4) The sanctity of our newspapers is in “In all that lies ahead, let us match strong simply “makes sense,” I will outline my argu- danger. When I open The Boston Globe and convictions with kindness and goodwill and ments below to satisfy those law-school types: flip to the comics page, it is usually a disap- decency” (George W. Bush; remarks given on 1) Bill Watterson is a small minority. pointment. Curtis is flushing his dad’s ciga- February 24, with full transcript at There are an estimated 290,809,777 people in rettes down the toilet while Garfield bemoans www.whitehouse.gov). the United States of America (July 1, 2003 the fact that it is Monday. Strong newspapers Amal Dorai is a member of the class of estimate of the U.S. Census Bureau), are built on strong comics. Although poor 2004. The End of Dollar Capitalism? crises were equally other nations’ problems. seems to be cheap labor. GM, for example, Basil Enwegbara The end of the Cold War changed every- now saves over a thousand dollars extra on thing. And America’s economic and political each car made in China) They can invest The end of the second world war brought hegemony became challenged. Europe’s sin- heavily in technologies to minimize the costs with it the emergence of the American empire. gle market and, later, the “euro zone” econo- of human labor and catch the tax deductions Bases in Japan and Europe were vital for the my emerged as a power challenger. While that accompany them. They can adopt strate- imperial takeoff and consolidation. Like pre- Japan, in deep economic crisis, could not gies to get around the real costs of labor by vious imperial powers, trade and commerce pose immediate threat, China’s emerging eco- employing more temporary and contract successfully followed the flag. nomic powerhouse became an unexpected workers. Or they can take a politically With ease, both Japanese and Western surprise. And countries that previously could extreme direction — invade Washington with European economies were linked to the Amer- not stand to challenge America economically a new army of lobbyists to minimize fallout ican economy, and most of the peripheral now could do so with little or no fear. Further with politicians and counter the influence of economies were forced to fall in line for their complicating the already difficult situation the electorate just as they did when Washing- own benefit. So the dollar became not just the was America’s embracing of globalization. ton wanted to regulate them. universal standard which replaced the gold Without well thought out checks and balances None of the above strategies seem to be standard, it also became the unit of interna- governing it, American-led globalization politically popular here in the U.S. It’s not tional exchange, with the Federal Reserve act- moved from the market for goods and ser- surprising because in the short-run they fail to ing as the world’s central bank. vices to the financial markets and now to the promote the middle-class economy which has With mass production and mass consump- labor markets. Besides the “race to the bot- sustained American capitalism. But does tion already at full speed, supported by the tom” manufacturing sector, this new develop- America really have an option? Can it afford newly emerged industrial, organizational, and ment now allows plenty of foreign labor to to be an economic island like medieval management structures, corporate America increasingly compete in America’s huge ser- China? Not recognizing that business as usual and citizens came to enjoy an unprecedented vice sector, which accounts for a large per- is over will lead to colossal consequences, economic growth and prosperity. cent of the U.S. payroll. including the endangerment of the power of America’s political and economic domi- The free competition nature of globaliza- the dollar as a global currency. Leading global nant power — accounting for half of the tion means that it is only those companies that investors like George Soros and Warren Buf- world’s industrial production and more than can cheaply produce the best in quality that fett have already figured out the danger ahead, half of its gold reserve, and firmly entrenched can command the market. Since U.S. busi- and as a result they are now investing more in at the forefront of technological advancement nesses no longer have the power to pass off currencies other than the dollar. OPEC’s — remained unchallenged. Little wonder, the higher costs of rising health care benefits, growing fear about the fate of the dollar is then, that America easily passed its domestic Social Security, and workers’ compensation, equally real. A nation so dependent on foreign problems to the rest of the world without few options are left for them if they still hope investment to keep up with the gaps cannot resistance. And the burdens of budget deficits, to remain competitive. They can engage in afford measures that slow the flow. The only balance of payments deficits, and inflationary total outsourcing. (Just imagine the huge good news — at least for now — is that in the monetary policies were easily passed on to financial benfits that accrue to giant U.S. busi- weak European economy, the euro is too weak other nations. The dollarized impact of oil nesses whose major competitive advantage to truly replace the dollar. Oor oor oor!

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[email protected] Page 6 THE TECH April 9, 2004 ARTS EVENT REVIEW COMIC REVIEW Poets Go the X-Statix: Indie Comic, X-Men Feel Distance Revitalizing the X-Men by Resurrecting a Certain Princess By Fred Choi scrabbling their way to the top of the worlds X-Statix. (Confusing, but newbies should note STAFF WRITER of fame and fortune, accruing agents, town- that the reason is that X-Statix originally Poetry Marathon Brings X-Statix, Volume 3: Back From the Dead houses, yachts, lawyers, and hordes of slav- appeared as X-Force issues #116 through Created by Peter Milligan (writer), Mike ishly devoted fans and groupies along the #129 before acquiring its new title) The book, Boston Writers to the Mic Allred (artist), Laura Allred (colorist) way. And in the process, fulfilling those pesky released March 31 and subtitled “Back from pp. 192., Marvel Enterprises, Inc., $19.99 obligations that come with the job — world- the Dead” collects X-Statix issues 11-18. The By Katherine Ryan lthough now almost through its third saving missions, press junkets, talk show first two issues feature El Guapo and Dead year, it’s still hard to believe that the appearances, product sponsorship, and a line Girl, respectively, and the six-part storyline Boston National Poetry Month Festival snappy and electrically-charged X- of action figures and plush toys. features a resurrected princess who bears a April 3, 10 a.m. A Statix is a bonafide X-Men comic As can be imagined, recruitment is as more than passing resemblance to the late Boston Public Library from Marvel. Satirical, surprisingly relevant, much about sex appeal, charisma, and stage Princess Di. In fact, the character was n two drab rooms in the basement of the and — dare I bandy the term about — “post- presence as it is about special powers. Main Princess Di until the last minute, when she Boston Public Library, 56 poets from in and modern,” X-Statix has by some lucky chance characters include U-Go Girl, easily the was changed to a “pop princess” named Hen- around the city gathered over two days for a managed to infiltrate that comic book behe- hottest redhead this side of Jean Grey; Mr. rietta from “Europa.” Apparently even Marvel I poetry marathon. Their 20-minute readings moth’s revered yet yawn-inducing X-Men Sensitive, a.k.a. the Orphan, sensitive to the has limits to what they’re willing to let the were sparsely attended; much of the audience universe with its unique irreverence. These slightest breeze yet a bit dense when it comes creators of X-Statix get away with. was composed of the poets themselves. The are mutants for the 21st century whose prima- to his romantic relationships; Vivisector, an But even with the occasional censorship, public was perhaps put off by the length of the ry concerns avoid anything as prosaic as sav- intellectual and sarcastic werewolf; Dead Girl, X-Statix still beats the competition in pushing event (seven hours!), or even simply unaware ing the world. Rather, these mutants use their a hottie who has revived interest in necrophil- the genre, riffing on topics that are completely that it was occurring. Few came to endure the powers for more immediately gratifying ends, ia worldwide (um, or maybe that’s just me); taboo in every other comic book, let alone entire marathon, though those who stayed for El Guapo, skateboarding Latino heartthrob; every other form of popular entertainment. some of it found a few gems within the murk. Doop, the team’s lovable, green, yet mysteri- Who else would use last year’s sniper attacks Joyce Peseroff recited grotesque poems on ously sinister alien cameraman; and the in DC or the selling of chemical weapons to 19th century life, reading one poem about the team’s manipulative “owner,” Spike Freeman, Hussein as admittedly somewhat perverse plot reasons for the prevalence of axe murders in described as “a cross between Bill Gates and devices? Or have a team of villains called New England winters, before moving on to Satan.” “Euro-trash” (which includes “Oxford Blue,” describe an old practice of pacifying babies Selfish, yet lovable, characters are just described as having “ferocious violence with a with gin. Moving back to contemporary times, one part of the genius that is X-Statix. Each boyish stammer and a predilection for black in her best poem, “Raptor in the Kitchen,” she life-threatening mission, ostensibly for good hookers.”)? Or have a Princess Di-esque char- creepily compared herself, eating the crust of (but with camera crew and makeup team on acter as leader of a superhero group, redesign- a sandwich left by her child, to an animal con- hand) is as refreshingly cynical and barbed ing their costumes in “stunning ethnic lycra suming the remains from a birth, attempting to as it is funny. Milligan spins decidedly con- with bold highlights”? hide any smells from predators. temporary satirical and oftentimes political The six-part series meanders a bit and Michael Brown’s poems demonstrated a yarns, such as the saving of “Boys R Us,” occasionally slips into superhero cliche, but larger range of interests. In one poem, “The the latest boy band, or the rescue of little it’s a keeper as is the rest of the series with Homeowner,” he related the amount of pesti- Paco Perez from “Bastrona,” a country Mike and Laura Allred’s instantly recogniz- cides he spots on his lawn (“We have learned whose leader bears an uncanny resemblance able artwork and Peter Milligan’s twisty plot to curse the dandelions”) to river pollution to Fidel Castro. Along the way Allred and and snappy dialogue. (“We’re in trouble now, and human health problems. This was greeted Milligan name-drop a boatload of straight- boys. Our teleporter’s getting ironic.” — issue with applause. Next, his poem “The Man Who forward or sometimes slyly twisted refer- 14; “That’s the problem with living in a melt- Made Amusement Rides” began as a joke but ences, including Cindy Crawford, “Star ing pot. There are so many people who might then shifted: “I’m a playground terrorist Wars,” Umberto Eco, “Apocalypse Now,” hate you.” — issue 16) Oh, and a cameo by turned to profit.” Another, the story of his and M.C. Escher. Spider-Man. As with all comics, if you want mother’s death, was melancholy; he described The latest trade paperback (a.k.a. graphic the full experience you should start at the very holding her up from a hospital bed and insist- novel) is number five of the series, although beginning with X-Force TPB vol. 1 (i.e. issue ing that they were dancing. it’s number three of the series actually called #116). Emerging after him, Ryk McIntyre’s perfor- mance was the stand-out of the day. He snuck up on the audience, speaking from the seats, CONCERT REVIEW and quickly engaged the listeners with his “Ode to Jennifer.” The poet, hair uncombed, wearing an aged leather jacket, gestured out, “Suddenly, Deafening DeGraw Weakens Show I’m reliving the perfume of her neck.” “Oh, Jennifer,” he lamented, “why, oh, why, won’t Vocals Overpowered by Guitars for Opener and Main Act you love me again?” His performance, coupling a good poem with a sincere effort to speak to By Minyoung Jang songs. Because of this, there seemed to be a When heard live though, it was less cheesy the audience, epitomized what the day should lack of catchy pop hooks as well. But to be and a lot more fun, especially with a segue have attempted. Good poetry, after all, need not Gavin DeGraw fair, both problems may have had more to do into Creedence Clearwater Revival’s “Proud be spoken but read silently. But here, where the Paradise Rock Club with poor mix levels than Wertz himself. Mary.” goal was to read the lines out loud, the best April 4, 8 p.m. Overall, he was a very good opener and per- But in general, the deafening — albeit poems were not so much the winners on paper ’m the guy you didn’t pay to see.” If formed admirably, considering he had no skillful — guitar playing detracted from the but were issued loudly and sincerely. As Boston opener Matt Wertz knew how well his band with him. experience rather than added to it. I had to poets struggle to bring their work to an audi- self-deprecating words would predict the Despite the fact that Gavin DeGraw was feel, rather than hear, the bass lines and drum ence, they might bring this lesson to heart: I entire night, perhaps he wouldn’t have the headliner of the show, it seemed like he beats and was none too happy when I could advertise well and perform with intention. said them. This is not to say that the Kansas wasn’t the one the audience had paid to see barely hear the beautiful opening to “Belief” Promising future poetry events in the City, MO, native wasn’t talented and totally either. He opened with a nice variation of the because I still had a buzzing sound in my ears Boston area include Poetry Off Broadway, likable — he was clearly both as he radiated intro to “Over-rated,” yet it went downhill from “Meaning” and another unreleased song. every Sunday through April 25 at 7 p.m. in Midwestern charm, told stories in a disarm- from the moment the rest of his band kicked Just as disappointing was the limited inter- the Davis Square Theater, and Wednesday ingly humorous fashion, and performed and in full force. action between DeGraw and the audience, as nights at the Cantab Lounge in Central sang in a heartfelt manner. However, his It was immediately noticeable that the gui- he spoke to us less than the opener did. This Square, with an open mic at 8 p.m., a featured words were an unfortunate preview of head- tar player was far too loud. To their credit, the was a shame, considering how much fun both poet at 9:30 p.m., and a slam at 10:30 p.m. liner Gavin DeGraw’s set. heavy guitar playing did provide the unmis- he and the audience seemed to have when he After his initial remark, Wertz launched takably energetic feel of a rock concert. This performed Marvin Gaye’s “Let’s Get it On” into his first song with energetic, sometimes tactic seemed slightly amateurish though, as while dancing on tables, shaking the hands of seemingly frenzied strumming and thumping blasting out eardrums is hardly a prerequisite screaming female fans, and encouraging on his acoustic guitar. His smoky voice and for a “concert atmosphere.” I spent most of everyone to sing along. The set was rounded Be Kind to Hobos breathy singing immediately recalled artists the concert missing the sounds of DeGraw’s out with “Crush,” “I Don’t Want to Be,” such as John Mayer, although it was often dif- trademark catchy piano playing and more “More Than Anyone,” and a very loud and ficult to hear words or vocals on more upbeat importantly, his voice. All were smothered by more intense version of “Chariot.” the guitar player. Indeed, the two friends that When we finally could hear DeGraw him- accompanied me and didn’t really know the self sing and play, the show was technically songs or lyrics well said that eventually all the over and he had come back for an encore. songs started to sound the same because all Even then, the vocals were turned up so high they heard was loud guitars. It was unclear that they had a fuzzy quality to them, ruining Up, down, charm, whether we had paid to see Gavin DeGraw or the intimate feeling of a small to mid-sized his guitarist. venue like the Paradise. Nevertheless, his per- However, there were a few times when formance of two new songs, “Dancing strange, top, bottom. the volume level on the guitar was appreciat- Shoes,” “Dreams,” and a cover of Sam ed. After performing “Just Friends” and Cooke’s “A Change Is Gonna Come” truly “[Nice to Meet You] Anyway,” DeGraw and showcased Gavin DeGraw’s talent and made company played “Follow Through.” The me glad that I had had the chance to see him heavy guitar was fun to listen and dance live. Work it any way you want in Quark. along to during the bridge of this song. That Undoubtedly, the show was good, but I was the way it should have been for the was disappointed that it wasn’t excellent whole show — Gavin accompanied by his when it easily could have been. Everyone on bandmates, with really strong and technical stage was obviously experienced and that fact playing reserved mostly for climaxes and shone through in their cohesive style of per- vocal interludes. forming. Perhaps next time they’ll realize Likewise, I enjoyed the aggressive guitar that for all intents and purposes, people are [email protected] playing on “Chemical Party.” When listening there to see Gavin DeGraw rather than indi- to the album, this song always makes me vidual bandmates and will sound-check W20-483, 617-253-1541 cringe and inevitably skip to the next track. accordingly. April 9, 2004 THE TECH Page 7 FEATURES AVoice from Across the Atlantic By Jeremiah Yu fixated on global issues and it has been engaging to under- made me generate a great deal of introspection. stand how the U.S. is perceived abroad. As a result of all of this evaluation, I believe that many As you finish your second week of work after a fleeting What has struck me as most alarming and disconcerting effects of the exchange have been recognized as beneficial spring break, I want you to picture me writing this column is the fact that Cambridge students I’ve met are on the whole for undergraduates on both sides of the Atlantic. And though from across the Atlantic during my five week Easter break. If are more globally-minded than MIT students I’ve met. Fur- the initial CMI undergraduate exchange was originally slated you haven’t guessed it, I am one of twenty-eight juniors in thermore, the Cambridge students generally are able to artic- to expire along with the rest of the Cambridge-MIT Institute, this year’s Cambridge-MIT (CMI) Undergraduate Student ulate and to present their thoughts more clearly. the undergraduate exchange has been setup as a permanent Exchange Program. Introspection is a natural activity for any exchange pro- exchange between MIT and Cambridge undergraduates. In I would strongly encourage any freshman or sophomore gram participant. However, I believe it is especially true for anticipation of the expiration of the Cambridge-MIT Insti- to participate in the exchange; if your department does not participants in the CMI exchange simply because of the tute, the CMI undergraduate exchange will be known in the support the exchange, I would suggest you demand that they nature of the exchange. future as the Cambridge-MIT Exchange (CME). do so. “Why?” you may ask… why leave the great concrete The undergraduate exchange is actually only a small part I know many students are reluctant to apply to the pro- walls of MIT behind for the gothic stone structures of Cam- of the Cambridge-MIT Institute. The Cambridge-MIT Insti- gram because they fear that a year abroad means a year for- bridge? tute, as described from its Web site, is “a strategic alliance feited at “the greatest technology institution in the world.” The CMI exchange has provided me with a rare chance to between two world-leading universities to deliver education As a result, these students inherently believe that by spending seriously reconsider what it means to be educated at MIT. and research to enhance the competitiveness of U.K. busi- a year abroad at Cambridge their MIT education will some- The time constraints imposed by MIT life yield little time for ness.” how be diluted. This view is highly short-sighted and danger- such introspection. I have found my time at Cambridge Since the program is funded primarily by the British gov- ously arrogant. much more conducive to thinking about such matters. ernment and private corporations, the CMI exchange stu- While I am positive that the exchange is not appropriate My thought process has been largely facilitated by con- dents are constantly being asked to assess the effectiveness of for everyone, I am certain that spending a year at Cambridge versations with other Cambridge students, often in the the program. We are forced to think beyond the nominal dif- will challenge and invigorate any MIT student. The best part evening at the college bar after a day of lectures and work or ferences between student life in the United States and Britain of my MIT education has been this last year, where I have at meals in the canteen (that’s British for cafeteria). and we have to consider our year abroad in the terms of com- been given the opportunity to view MIT through the eyes of All conversations about work are banned from such social petitiveness, entrepreneurship, and value. No other program an outsider. gatherings. In fact, many of these conversations have largely requires such in-depth evaluation and the entire process has Jeremiah Yu is a member of the class of 2005. How To Eat Death By Zeitgeist My Shitty Term Like An Asian By Devdoot Majumdar and yoga. Now, if I hope to get my chance to CONTRIBUTING EDITOR hear the NIH director speak in June, I’d better You’d think that it’d be enough that you get my act together. Cheap Cantonese Food avoid classes that teach in 54-100 and 10-250. It’s at moments like these that I like to Not that you’d attend them anyway, but that recall the words of the great John Mayer. He By Mark Liao this equates to meat that breaks apart in your should be a good enough metric to prevent once told MTV-U, “You have to treat yourself FEATURES COLUMNIST mouth virtually upon impact. Our server you from overhearing the stuff of freshmen like a business. Nobody is going to wake you In the crazy world of mu goo gai pan and tonight also wanted to emphasize this point — conversations: experimentation with afros, up in the morning and say ‘go play music,’ egg foo young, the line between authentic those larger chunks of somewhat transparent experimentation with self-esteem, and of you’ve got to set your alarm. You’re your own Chinese food and just another corn starch- meat are not pieces of fat, they’re actually course, experimentation with Mr. Johnson. boss — you work in the mailroom and you’re infested slop from Happy Wok gets blurred. pieces of beef tendon that have been cooked And yet, right now, I find myself at the epicen- the C.E.O.” On my most recent outing, I was accompa- until soft. While the consistency takes a bit of ter of everything I’ve ever strived to avoid, and And there you go. If you can’t get The nying a group of friends with the white / yel- getting used to, rest assured that you eventual- I do it because I have to graduate. Rock or Stephen R. Covey to bring you your low ratio of a twinkie. We were looking for a ly will. I’m sitting at a giant circular table, akin to daily inspiration, you might as well get it from cheap, relatively fast meal that wasn’t the not- These parlors should also specialize in bar- the kind you’d expect from the whole elemen- MTV. That is why we vote, after all. so-sketchy-but-white-people-intimidating- beque. Roast pork, roast duck, soy sauce tary school experience. Across from me sits For the time being, the only thing that upstairs-food-court in Chinatown. Eventually chicken — all of these items are standard fare the best example of undiagnosed ADD in the interests me are the few social maelstroms that we descended into a smaller establishment off and are reasonably priced when served on a world, a chatty young man whose attempts at life affords. It’s never a rarity at MIT to go the beaten path. bed of rice. Of course, you want to make sure facial hair might just round him up one of through the motions for a term. Even though Some Chinese food is as bad as girls who that the meat-to-rice ratio is appropriate and those fine, young MIT damsels. And my other someone’s paying a hearty $36,000, few put pictures of themselves hugging their hot hope that they let some sauce drip onto your neighbors include a former IFC Rush Chair, a things can cure a dreary term. I contend that it friend on www.hotornot.com and not pointing rice. quiet girl who follows the lectures studiously, all comes down to your professors. out which one she is. In order to protect your- If you’ve never tried duck, it’s like an and a Sigma Nu depledge who gets his learn I’ve always admired professors at big state self from bad Chinese food, here’s what you entire chicken with firm dark meat. The skin is on like it’s his birthday. schools who take on the challenge of keeping need to know. crispy and a little fatty, but it’s worth using the This is 8.02 Teal. This is the class that is 500 kids awake for an hour. Takes a bit of Now, while this might come as a shock to stairs instead of the elevator once in a while. unskippable. My TA’s are perky sophomores humor (keep working at it Professor Jerrison, you, not all Asians are the same. Similarly, not Also, when you think you’re ready to be a bit and my only joy in class is generating errors you’re almost there) and a bit of insecurity that all Chinese people are the same. So again, I’m more adventurous, go for the duck gizzard or on the Personal Response System. your students might hate you. At MIT, for bet- focusing on Cantonese food, which originates the fried chitterlings (yes, pig intestine… hey, Long story short, I never failed out of 8.02 ter or worse, that salesmanship is more or less from mainland China (particularly Hong they do it in Kentucky, too!) four years ago (pride issue) — I just always missing. There are certainly exceptions, but for Kong). You can think of it as food they eat Another typical type of Cantonese dish is figured that there would eventually be a time every Donald Sadoway, there are ten Stewart when they’re not eating dim sum. the salt-and-pepper-type deal. We’re talking when I could take that advanced standing Smalleys. Even so, with whatever will I have First things first, hanging fowl and live about fried meat covered with salt, green exam and get out of this. But here I am, on my left to graduate, I will survive, and follow seafood in tanks are really good things. Noth- onions, and mildly spicy peppers. If you can last lap towards graduation, in the tail end of a through on the advice of my MTV superstar. ing says freshness like eating shrimp that was handle medium spicy Doritos salsa, you’ll be 25-minute mile of an undergraduate educa- As you can tell, I’m running out of gim- swimming around just three minutes earlier. fine as long as you pick out the big chunks of tion. I have three PE’s left, a swim test, some micks here. My hiatus from The Tech was I know it may be intimidating seeing a green peppers. They’ll do this to squid, library fines, and two HASS-D’s which I am spurred by some hate mail and now I’m sorely duck with its head still on hanging from the shrimp, pork chops — virtually anything that’s more regularly attending after an e-mail from out of gimmicks. I’m thinking of running a restaurant window, but quite frankly, it’s tasty as is but made even better by the simple an ebullient TA. “Top 10 Spammers At MIT,” so if you’ve got something that you’re just going to have to get fact that it’s fried. Honestly, can you think of a The PE situation is even more dreary. I’ve any submissions, do let me know. For those used to. I’m sure after the Pavlovian condi- type of salty food that isn’t made better by dabbled in (and sauntered out of) several PE’s who cared, Kimberly Chao ’04 won the popu- tioning kicks in after your fourth visit, you’ll frying? over the years: archery, tennis, group cycling, larity contest by some 400 spurious votes. resist entering a restaurant without whole Lastly, if you’re still at a loss for what to roasted poultry dangling in their windows. order, go for a Hong Kong-style fried noodle. Until then, just don’t make eye contact. They take the thin, yellow egg noodles, fry For these little Cantonese eateries, I highly them to a crisp, and cover them with some suggest ordering beef brisket wonton noodle meat, vegetables and a thick sauce. This sauce soup. This brimming bowl of egg noodles and softens up the noodles in the middle while beef broth embodies two of the most funda- leaving a nice crunchy region around the outer mental items of Cantonese food: wontons and rim. It’s amazing. “Eight delight” is usually beef brisket. more expensive than just ordering one type of A good wonton is an egg dough skin filled meat, but you’ll get a whole slew of pork, with pork and shrimp. What we want to avoid beef, chicken along with some squid, shrimp, is the wontons that are full of indistinguish- and at nicer places, scallops. Otherwise, just able filling or require cherry cough syrup-like opt for beef and vegetables or seafood and sweet and sour sauce. Any restaurant that will vegetables. take the time to put two or three shrimp inside This last meal came out to $42.50 for eight each of the hundreds of wontons they serve people. It would have been $5.00 a pop but daily actually pays attention to detail. somebody had to order overpriced spring rolls. The second part is the brisket. A good Oh yeah, and tip — let’s just say we’re not brisket requires hours and hours of cooking known for being great tippers. You’ve got to thus tenderizing the meat. Generally speaking, take the good with the bad. This space donated by The Tech Nightline: DEF TUV TUV OPER OPER Page 8 THE TECH FEATURES April 9, 2004 Positive Sinking Scratch Blind Behind The Wheel Paper

By Akshay Patil has already created a solution in what seems to be an analogous FEATURES EDITOR part, the knee. Perhaps a more heartfelt way of putting this is, thank Are You Cool? Dear Mr. I Just Recently Started Reading Your Column, god for kneecaps — I bet the knee’s “funny-bone” nerve is bigger Why is there braille on DRIVE UP ATMs?? I didn’t know that and more debilitating when hit. By Tiffany Kosolcharoen blind people drove. Can you imagine five times the pain of normal funny-bone paral- ASSOCIATED FEATURES EDITOR —Brandi ysis??? I would writhe, tightly curled on the ground, and die. Right “You have 0 friends,” thefacebook.com Well, you know, what if you’re going the wrong direction in the before I did, I’d get my “last smoke,” my “last meal” kind of deal, greeted me upon my first log-in. Like the drive through and the person in passenger seat just happens to be which in my case would be to get a last lay from whomever was near 1,325 of you MITers (as of Wednesday, April blind? You know, it could be useful then. Or maybe blind people by, to try and distract me from the misery of my definitely-[naughty 7) who have logged on, I started “adding walk through the drive-through ATM… they could even carry a little word]-not-funny-5-times-bigger-funny-bone-nerve. friends.” Yes, keep laughing… horn with them so if the car in front of them was taking too long, —flea Then, I realized that technology exploited they could still honk at it. It’s been a long time since I’ve hit my funny bone, but I do me. And you. It played on the one human That’d be kind of cool – I’d totally do that if I were blind and not believe I’ve managed to hit my knee-equivalent-funny-bone once in weakness that brings us to our knees: the scared of being run over. Which I am… that is, I’m scared of being my life. Don’t ask me how I pulled it off, but as I remember, I desire to be loved. run over. I’m from LA, so I know how feisty people get when you passed out for a couple of minutes. Of course, I have absolutely no Unlike the good old Little House on the take too long at the window and get in the way of their driving urge tolerance for pain. You could probably drag all sorts of confidential Prairie days when you’d still be cool if your to pick up a Big Mac and a honkin’ huge cup of coffee. They don’t information out of me if you threatened me with a spoon. Ok, so dog were your only friend, the pressure to be care if you’re blind, bald, or paraplegic — you’re in their way and maybe more than a spoon… it’d probably take at least an aggressive- accepted by anyone and everyone is huge. A that’s not excusable to a Southern Californian behind the wheel of a ly-wielded spork to get national security information out of me. birthday bash from your best friends will not SUV fueled with hi-octane road rage. Uhm, not that I know any… Canada Rocks. quench this thirst. Hugs (and money) from That’s the nice thing about Boston, pedestrians rule the city. Sure Mom are discounted. Even benefits with we pop in and out of the ground in random parts of the city, but if question: your significant other are just not enough. we want to get somewhere by foot, them auto-strians respect it. In Are children of identical twins genetically siblings? We just can’t get enough lovin’. It’s all about LA, if you don’t got four wheels, you don’t got right of way. It’s —harlan having more, taking your existence in society almost as obnoxious as sitting next to the driver of some unwar- No. Unless the twins hook up with the same person which, up to the next level, and propelling yourself rantably over-sized vehicle bragging about how the other car doesn’t despite being a popular male fantasy, seems rather unlikely. Or into the ranks of the Miss Google America stand a chance. maybe I just wouldn’t know. pageant. But enough of that. And now, here’s Jaime Wyscozki from Bemidji, Minnesota with Love is no longer a strong affection, love is the footer… Jaime? Hello? Hello? You were going to do the… well, quantity. So desperate is our urge to be loved Mr. Sinking, yes, I know it’s weird, but could you please read it? No? Well, can by many that we pay money for networking Why don’t we have elbow caps? Don’t you think it’d be a nice you at least read the bit about penguin feet and e-mailing sink- workshops. Humans have become so lame that touch to our bodies if there was something there to protect the [email protected]? What do you mean it’s obscene? He’s just feeding we need classes to make friends! A thirty- “funny-bone” nerve. I hate hitting that nerve, and it seems like poor the… fine, no, you don’t have to read it. Sorry ladies and gents, we thousand dollar tuition to an MBA school can design to leave such a gaping exposure when it’s clear that nature appear to be experiencing wardrobe malfunctions. buy you a thousand “friends” to add to your Instant Messanger buddy list. The more socially “connected” we are, the more loved we feel. Yet, to create this connec- tion with many other people, we need to gen- What’s Next? erate a lot of buzz. Hype. Hoopla. Today, there’s no such thing as bad press. To get our attention (the new substitute for love), popularity means a “wardrobe malfunc- Got ICE? You’re Not the Only One tion” at the Super Bowl. Janet Jackson’s “acci- By Ian Ybarra ate career that I regret the most. I think I could quick browsing of the Web sites of the MIT dent” created a record-breaking 180 percent FEATURES COLUMNIST have avoided it had I been disease-free, but Careers Office and Harvard Business School surge in TiVo viewership. We currently have no test for the disease. ICE made me vulnerable and caused me to go shows this. If she had been a role model and per- Until now, we didn’t even have a name for it. against all that I believed. Yet another truth is that finance and con- formed at the Super Bowl with her clothes on, Yet it’s safe to say that it affects nearly every It is important to note two things about the sulting jobs aren’t inherently better or more would we have applauded? Would we have undergraduate throughout this campus and, disease. Firstly, it is a precursor to an even glamorous than any other. Sixty-plus-hour even given the performance a second look? perhaps, beyond. It causes almost all students more powerful one that affects MBA students workweeks, more spreadsheets than spam, and No. We are hypocrites. We say we love to be who aren’t extremely passionate about pursu- (which remains unnamed). We’ve all heard the fill-in-the-blank PowerPoint presentations recognized for our virtues, but what we deem ing careers in science or engineering, as well message that business school is not only a aren’t that exciting. Furthermore, a job’s sex- “cool” and “popular” are people who lack as many who actually are, to act irrationally chance to receive some formal management appeal is ultimately determined by an individ- virtue. when they hear the names of two industries — training and connect with others who have ual’s confidence and creativity, as well as the Popularity ratings, numbers, and rankings finance and consulting. demonstrated ability and desire to make spin she puts on what she chooses to let the are for the weak. Having a bad day? No fear, You may have seen the infected, after being impact, but also an opportunity to step back public know. you have 196 friends on thefacebook.com and exposed to the aforementioned industry from one’s career and find one’s field of pas- Despite these truths, ICE has become an are connected to Earth by 98 Google pages. names, experience one of the following symp- sion in which to deploy those resources. On epidemic. Undergraduates continue to battle It’s a social security, an assurance that you are toms: flocking to career fair booths with swift- the whole, though, it seems to amount to a for finance and consulting jobs, with illusions worthy. ness they usually reserve for free food; trip- large, yet precisely calculated, pile of crap. of doing it for the love of it, for the money, I’ve read countless friends’ friends’ blogs ping over their own feet and stuttering while About half of a typical Harvard Business and/or for the glamour. Sadly, there goes more and right-clicked Instant Messanger profiles talking to people in Banana Republic clothing; School class worked in consulting or finance brain power toward making rich people richer of “buddies” I rarely talk to. When I came walking through the Infinite in black suits less immediately before attending HBS. And over and less to making impact in areas close to across a page with a hundred “friend” links, I than thirty minutes after walking the same the last five years, an average of 62 percent of their hearts. once believed, “Wow, how popular.” I ate up path in overpriced jeans and t-shirts. job offers accepted by HBS graduates were in However, there might be consolation. Mar- the hype, but who truly has a hundred real The Irrational Career Election (ICE) dis- those two industries. If there’s been any tin Smith, President of StartingBloc, is experi- friends? A hundred people you could ask ease makes me sick. Yes, there’s a double- change in student interest, it’s been an menting with a method to manipulate the epi- favors from? It’s all silly, really. meaning to that. It disgusts me and it infected increase. And it’s simply ridiculous to think demic for the greater good, by fighting the What will define a leader and make you me. After almost three years of preparing to that the passions of over half of Harvard MBA symptoms rather than the disease itself. As successful is your ability to resist the tempta- work in consulting after graduation, last spring students lie in consulting or finance. It’s not ICE Disease continues to inexplicably usher tion of quantity. Instead of wasting hours on I decided I was done with consulting for good. just HBS, either; the statistics for MIT’s Sloan undergraduates (and others) toward certain the facebook gathering more “friends,” we I had figured out that my passion was in School aren’t much different. industries, Smith and his StartingBloc team could really be making real friends. After all, writing, speaking, and entrepreneurship. I had Secondly, ICE seems to spread virally are trying to create a mutant of the virus we admire those who think on their own, not learned that most personal wealth is created because the anti-biotics known as truths have responsible for ICE. insecure people who live off the e-pinions of outside of work and was planning my path to so far been ineffective against it. One truth is They are exposing undergraduates to the others. financial freedom. And I had enough exposure that the life passions of most people do not lie ultimate truth — that doing good, making That’s why your parents and your future to the industry to know that I didn’t like it. I in consulting or finance. The opposite is sim- money, and enjoying glamour don’t have to be kids will give you the greatest love of all. Per- thought I had beaten ICE. Then the summer ply statistically impossible. Granted, most separate activities. The ultimate goal? To haps you’ll receive some of the harshest came and went, and the fall recruiting season MIT undergraduates don’t know what they ensure that as these undergraduates take the advice from them — but it will be said with began. really want to do with their lives. But that’s fast track to the uppermost echelons of busi- unadulterated honesty. No hype. Even if you After successfully fighting the urge to talk due to youth and lack of opportunity to think ness, they will make decisions that maximize don’t impress them, they will be there for you. to consulting recruiters, I received a request about it during infrequent, brief gasps for air the economic, social, and environmental value A thousand people do not need to recog- from McKinsey & Co. to apply for their between drowning in the MIT fire hose. their organizations are capable of producing. nize our existence to make it worthy. There is entry-level analyst positions. My ICE Another truth is that entry-level jobs (and Is the idea just crazy? Does it have a no Miss Google America pageant. Only when relapsed, and I applied. It will forever be the curiously, even post-MBA ones) in these chance in hell to work? Tune in next week to you don’t live for the dreams of others can career-related decision from my undergradu- industries are not always the highest-paying. A learn more. you be a cool person.

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ACROSS Foxx 2 Hindu title 29 Actress Braga 1 Brief digression 40 Joker’s response to 3 Contortionist’s reply 31 Comma coma 6 Smidgen 17A to 17A difference? 10 Actress Andersson 45 Mach+ jet 4 Principals’ grad 32 Axlike tool 14 Designator 46 Durrell novel degrees 33 Univ. figures 15 Continental prefix 47 British work schedule 5 Stretch of time 34 Galley gear 16 __ avis 48 Jots 6 English woods 35 __ alive! 17 This puzzle’s theme 50 Prohibition 7 Corn covering 36 Julep garnish question 51 Ref. to a time long 8 Novelist Levin 41 Based on eight 20 Feels unwell passed 9 Gift for a kid 42 End of a fib? 21 BPOE member 54 Abnormal swelling 10 __ Canyon National 43 Serious story 22 Sore points 56 Beavers’ barrier Park 44 Charged particle 23 Baseball stat 57 Strip of wood 11 Miner’s reply to 17A 49 Harbingers 24 Gallivant 58 Lifeguard’s response 12 Scottish hillside 50 Sew loosely 25 Membrane of grasses to 17A 13 McKellen and 52 Desert blooms 27 Faucets 62 Part of speech Woosnam 53 Type of alcohol

Solution, page 16 29 Thompson of 63 Nitwit 18 Dough additive 54 Writer Ferber “Family” 64 Cranky 19 Language of Kuala 55 Smallest teams 30 US radio service 65 Adder cousins Lumpur 56 Farmer’s locale 33 Realtor’s response to 66 Make eyes at 24 Fed. publishing 57 Spotted 17A 67 Up to service 59 Altar words 37 Gloomy effect 25 Like some windows 60 Bug bomb 38 Chemical suffix DOWN 26 Nav. leader 61 Air-conditioner meas. 39 “Mockingbird” singer 1 Sadat of Egypt 28 Accomplice Crossword Puzzle Crossword

Events Calendar appears in each issue of The Tech and features events for members of the MIT community. The Tech makes no guarantees as to the accuracy of this information, and The Tech shall not be held liable for any loss- es, including, but not limited to, damages resulting from attendance of an event. Events Calendar Contact information for all events is available from the Events Calendar web page.

Visit and add events to Events Calendar online at http://events.mit.edu Friday, April 9 1:00 p.m. - 2:30 p.m. – Graduate Christian Fellowship Bible Study. Currently studying the gospel of Luke. Free. Room: Edgerton Apt. 221. Sponsor: Graduate Christian Fellowship. 10:00 a.m. – Undergraduate Admissions Office Information Session. Undergraduate Admissions Office Information Session gathers 1:00 p.m. – Varsity Men’s Tennis vs. Springfield College. Free. Room: du Pont Tennis Courts/JB Carr Tennis Bubble. at the Admissions Reception Center. Following the Admissions Information Session is a Student Led Campus Tour which begins in 1:00 p.m. - 3:00 p.m. – Weekend Holography Studio for Families. During this session, participants create an interferometer (an Lobby 7 (main entrance lobby) Groups over 15 people need to make special reservations. free. Room: Admissions Reception Center, instrument for measuring microscopic movement) in the Museum’s holography laboratory, and record the light pattern onto holograph- (10-100). Sponsor: Admissions. ic film. This is a family-friendly version of the April 17 studio for adults. $60 (includes Museum admission) 1-3 p.m. Ages 12 and up 10:00 a.m. - 3:00 p.m. – Circle K Donut Fundraiser. Come to the Student center to buy donuts and help contribute to the Food Relief (children under 18 must be accompanied by an adult team member). Pre-registration required. $60 (includes Museum admission). Program! All proceeds go to charity. Free. Room: Student Center - First Floor. Sponsor: Circle K. Room: MIT Museum (N52-200). Sponsor: MIT Museum. 10:45 a.m. – Campus Tour. Student Led Campus Tours are approximately 90 minutes long and provide a general overview of the main 1:00 p.m. - 3:00 p.m. – Isshinryu Karate Workout. Traditional Okinawan Karate in a Small Club Environment. Free. Room: DuPont campus. Please note that campus tours do not visit laboratories, living groups or buildings under construction. Groups over 15 people Exercise Room. Sponsor: Isshinryu Karate-do at MIT. need to make special reservations. Campus tours start at the conclusion of the Undergraduate Admissions Informations Session. 2:00 p.m. – Thespis. $10; $8 MIT community, seniors, other students & children; $6 MIT/Wellesley students (tentative). Room: Sala Free. Room: Lobby 7. Sponsor: Information Center. de Puerto Rico. Sponsor: Gilbert and Sullivan Players, MIT. 12:00 p.m. - 1:00 p.m. – Writers Group. New writers are invited to join our weekly Writers Group (sponsored by the Writing and Com- 2:00 p.m. – Varsity Women’s Outdoor Track and Field Meet. Competing schools: Bates College, Bowdoin College, Colby College, Uni- munication Center). Share a piece of your writing with other interested and supportive writers. Open to all MIT students, staff, faculty, versity of Southern Maine, and Tufts University. Free. Room: Steinbrenner Stadium. and spouses. Free. Room: 14N-417. Sponsor: Writing and Communication Center. 4:00 p.m. - 8:00 p.m. – New Year’s / Spring BBQ. Free. Room: East Campus BBQ pit. Sponsor: MIT Bangladeshi Students’ Associa- 12:00 p.m. - 3:00 p.m. – Rainbow Lounge Open. MIT’s resource lounge for lesbian, bisexual, gay, transgender, and questioning mem- tion, GSC Funding Board. bers of the community offers a place to hang out, various activities, and a lending library during its open hours. Every Friday from 12-1 7:00 p.m. - 9:00 p.m. – Mic-Check. ADP’s Mic-Check gives MIT students the chance to perform prose and poetry infront of an audi- p.m. is a brown bag lunch! Free. Room: Rainbow Lounge (50-306). Sponsor: lbgt@mit. ence and faculty judges for a chance to win cash prizes up to $1000. Free. Room: 35-225. Sponsor: Alpha Delta Phi. 12:00 p.m. - 1:00 p.m. – ACDL Seminar. In-flight icing simulation: a current frontier of CFD. Free. Room: 33-206. Sponsor: AeroAstro. 7:00 p.m. - 9:00 p.m. – Mystic River. $3. Room: 26-100. Sponsor: LSC. 12:00 p.m. – BCS Vision Seminar - Charles Falco. The Science of Optics; The History of Art. Free. Room: E25-401. Sponsor: Brain 8:00 p.m. – Power of Darkness. Leo Tolstoy’s play directed by Assistant Professor Jay Scheib. $8, $6 students. Room: Kresge Little and Cognitive Sciences. Theater. Sponsor: Dramashop. 12:00 p.m. - 1:00 p.m. – BrioQuery 6 Quick Start. Free. Room: N42 Demo Center. Sponsor: Information Services and Technology. 8:00 p.m. - 11:00 p.m. – Patrol. Travel to strange new classrooms. Meet interesting, unusual people, and kill them! Patrol is a high- 12:00 p.m. - 1:00 p.m. – Good Friday Service. Good Friday Service at noon. Free. Room: MIT Chapel. Sponsor: Lutheran-Episcopal Ministry. action game of live combat with rubber-dart guns. Shoot your friends, then watch out as they try to take their revenge. Free. Room: 36- 12:00 p.m. - 2:00 p.m. – DMSE Open House. Department of Materials Science & Engineering freshman recruiting social. Free. Room: 115. Sponsor: Assassins’ Guild, MIT. Bush Room 10-105. Sponsor: Dept. of Materials Science and Engineering. 8:00 p.m. - 12:00 a.m. – CSSA Dancing Party. Disco and Ballroom dancing. Free for MIT affiliates. Room: Lobdell. Sponsor: Chinese 12:30 p.m. - 2:00 p.m. – MIT/CRE Career Services Presentation. Leaders in Real Estate. Free. Room: W31-301. Sponsor: Center for Student and Scholar Association, GSC Funding Board. Real Estate. 8:00 p.m. – Thespis. $10; $8 MIT community, seniors, other students & children; $6 MIT/Wellesley students (tentative). Room: Sala 1:00 p.m. - 3:00 p.m. – Fair Trade (Coffee) Teach In. Learn about Fair Trade. Exert your Consumer Power. Question the Experts. de Puerto Rico. Sponsor: Gilbert and Sullivan Players, MIT. Speakers include: Tim Wise, Deputy Director, Global Development And Environment Institute, Tufts University; Brian Rawson, Make 8:30 p.m. - 9:30 p.m. – Easter Vigil Mass. Free. Room: MIT Chapel. Sponsor: Tech Catholic Community. Trade Fair Organizer, Oxfam America, and Jean Walsh, Graduate Student, Department of Urban Studies and Planning. Free. Room: 4- 10:00 p.m. - 12:00 a.m. – Mystic River. $3. Room: 26-100. Sponsor: LSC. 231. Sponsor: Students for Labor Justice. 10:00 p.m. - 11:30 p.m. – TCC Easter Party. Join us for an Easter celebration in W-11 following the Easter Vigil Mass in the Chapel. 2:00 p.m. – Undergraduate Admissions Office Information Session. Groups over 15 people need to make special reservations. Free. Free food, drinks, and fun! Free. Room: W-11 Main Dining Room. Sponsor: Tech Catholic Community, GSC Funding Board. Room: Admissions Reception Center (10-100). Sponsor: Admissions. 2:30 p.m. - 3:30 p.m. – Filaments in Fluids: Fluttering Flags, Fishes and Bridges. Special Physical Mathematics Seminar. Free. Sunday, April 11 Room: 2-338. Sponsor: Physical Mathematics Seminar. 2:45 p.m. – Campus Tour. Groups over 15 people need to make special reservations. Free. Room: Lobby 7. Sponsor: Information Center. 5:30 a.m. - 6:30 a.m. – Easter Vigil at Dawn. Easter Sunday Vigil at 5:30 a.m. on the roof of Baker House; rain location is the MIT 3:00 p.m. - 4:30 p.m. – SSL Seminar. Self-Organizing Plasma Systems, a short film by Thomas McGuire and ARGOS Movie of the Chapel. Dress warmly and bring bells to ring. Free. Room: Roof of Baker House. Sponsor: Lutheran-Episcopal Ministry. Tracking System by Soon-Jo Chung. Free. Room: 37-212. Sponsor: AeroAstro. 8:00 a.m. - 9:00 p.m. – MarsWeek 2004 Conference. Free (MIT) - $10 (student) - $30 (professional). Room: 6-120. Sponsor: MIT 3:00 p.m. - 4:00 p.m. – Good Friday Mass. The Lord’s Passion. Free. Room: MIT Chapel. Sponsor: Tech Catholic Community. Mars Society, LEF (Large Events Fund). Lockheed-Martin Civil Space. 4:00 p.m. – BCS Colloquium - David Kleinfeld, Ph.D. “Multiple Levels of Sensorimotor Control in the Rat Vibrissa System.” Free. 9:30 a.m. - 10:30 a.m. – Mass. Free. Room: MIT Chapel. Sponsor: Tech Catholic Community. Room: E25-117. Sponsor: Brain and Cognitive Sciences. Hosted by Chris Moore. 11:00 a.m. - 6:00 p.m. – Greek Orthodox Easter. The Hellenic Students Association is sharing the most important religious celebra- 4:15 p.m. - 5:15 p.m. – Recognizing Cluster Algebras of Finite Type. Reception at 3:30 p.m. in Room 2-349. Free. Room: 2-338. tion in Greece with festive feast, traditional dances and games. Fee TBA. Room: Harambee house, Wellesley campus. Sponsor: Hel- Sponsor: Combinatorics Seminar. Department of Mathematics. lenic Students’ Association, GSC Funding Board. 5:00 p.m. – Advanced Music Performance Student Recital. . Stavroula Hatzios ’05, oboe; Debbie Emery, piano, and Guests:Daniel 11:00 a.m. - 12:00 p.m. – Ashdown Sunday Brunch. Sunday Brunch. Free. Room: Ashdown House, Hulsizer Room. Sponsor: Ashdown Stein ’05, flute; Mahni Ghorashi, ’05, piano; Amanda Wang, (G), violin; Jacqueline O’Connor ‘06, violin; Andrew Wong ’04, viola; House, GSC Funding Board, LEF (Large Events Fund). SeokYoon Jeong ’07, cello; Doug Balliett ’05, double bass. Britten’s “Six Metamorphoses after Ovid for Solo Oboe”; Dring’s “Trio for 1:00 p.m. - 3:00 p.m. – Weekend Holography Studio for Families. Ages 12 and up (children under 18 must be accompanied by an adult Flute, Oboe, and Piano”; Kalliwoda’s “Morceau de Salon, Opus 228”; Harbison’s “Snow Country.” Free. Room: Killian Hall. Sponsor: team member). Pre-registration required. $60 (includes Museum admission). Room: MIT Museum (N52-200). Sponsor: MIT Museum. Music and Theater Arts Section. 5:00 p.m. – Carnatic Vocal Concert. Bombay Jayashri with H.N.Bhaskar (Violin), Poongulam Subramaniam (Mridangam). $18, $14 for 6:00 p.m. – Shabbat Services & Dinner. Celebrate Shabbat. MIT Hillel’s three religious communities hold Shabbat services at 6:00 p.m. members, $10 for students. Room: Wong Auditorium (MIT Tang Center). Sponsor: MITHAS (MIT Heritage of South Asia) in cooperation A community Shabbat dinner follows at 7:00 p.m. Cost for dinner only. Room: Religious Activities Center, Bldg w11. Sponsor: Hillel, MIT. with Sangam. 6:00 p.m. - 9:00 p.m. – Japanese Hanami Party. Sit back on the goza mat, relax, and relish the beauty of digitally enhanced cherry 6:00 p.m. - 8:00 p.m. – Origins. International dance, music and comedy featuring international dancing by Mavi Dance, belly dancing blossoms at our annual spring party! Sushi and amazake (sweet non-alcoholic rice wine) will be served. Bring your IDs for more drinks. by Seyyide, modern dancing by Brookline Academy of Dance and comedy by Pipoca the dancing clown. $12 for students and kids, $15 Win a FREE air ticket to Japan, courtesy of Continental Airlines! Free. Room: Ashdown Hulsizer Room. Sponsor: Japanese Association for adults if purchased in advance, $15/$20 if purchased at the door. Room: MIT Main Kresge Auditorium. Sponsor: Turkish Students of MIT (JAM), Japanese Society of Undergraduates, MIT Japan Program, ARCADE (Assisting Recurring Cultural Diversity Events). IACE Association. Mavi Dance Group. travel. 7:00 p.m. - 9:00 p.m. – Romanian Orthodox Easter Dinner. Orthodox Easter Dinner featuring traditional Romanian food, cooked by 6:00 p.m. - 9:00 p.m. – MarsWeek 2004 Conference. MarsWeek is a three-day conference dedicated to new developments in human Romanian MIT students and their friends. $3 / person. Room: Ashdown House, West Dining Room. Sponsor: Romanian Students and robotic exploration of Mars. MarsWeek 2004 is the fifth annual conference to be held at MIT. Each year, selected speakers come Association, GSC Funding Board. from around the globe to talk about research and activities related to current and future space exploration. This conference is a great 7:00 p.m. - 9:00 p.m. – Mambo Italiano. $3. Room: 26-100. Sponsor: LSC. opportunity for students and professionals to come together and connect with those at the forefront of aerospace and planetary 8:00 p.m. - 11:00 p.m. – International Folk Dancing (participatory). International folk dancing. Teaching and beginners’ dances from research. Free (MIT) - $10 (student) - $30 (professional). Room: 6-120. Sponsor: MIT Mars Society, LEF (Large Events Fund). Lock- 8-9 p.m. A mixture of all skill levels from 9-11 p.m. Our repertoire includes dances from Eastern Europe (Bulgaria, Romania, Serbia, heed-Martin Civil Space. Croatia, Greece, and others) as well as other parts of Europe and the rest of the world (Israel, France, Russia, even England and the 6:15 p.m. - 6:50 p.m. – CCC Friday Dinner. Meet us for dinner before Real Life Boston in the Student Center’s Alpine Bagel. Free. US). Note: We will move to La Sala de Puerto Rico (on the second floor of the Student Center) if it is available. MIT/Wellesley students Room: Alpine Bagel. Sponsor: Campus Crusade for Christ. free; suggested donation $1 from others. Room: Student Center room W20-491. Sponsor: Folk Dance Club. 6:55 p.m. - 9:00 p.m. – CCC Real Life Boston. Did you know that there are 42 campuses in the greater Boston area? Well, wouldn’t it 10:00 p.m. - 12:00 a.m. – Mystic River. 3. Room: 26-100. Sponsor: LSC. be cool to fellowship with Christians from all these schools? You can! Campus Crusade for Christ and Park Street Church have a city 10:00 p.m. - 11:00 p.m. – CCC Softball, Turf 2. free. Room: Turf 2. Sponsor: Campus Crusade for Christ. wide college ministry. Real Life is a group of students from colleges all over Boston. The Campus Crusade for Christ Fellowships from all these schools get together to worship God, seek His will, and grow in our faith. All are welcome! Free. Room: Student Center Steps. Monday, April 12 Sponsor: Campus Crusade for Christ. 9:00 a.m. - 5:00 p.m. – Institute Screw Contest (Big Screw). Vote all week in the Big Screw contest for the most deserving faculty or 7:00 p.m. - 11:59 p.m. – MIT Anime Club Weekly Showing. If you didn’t get into Anime Boston, come see the shows that premiered staff member! Nominate your professor for Big Screw! One penny a vote. All proceeds go to the charity chosen by the winner. Send this month in Japan. Showings are open to the public. Free. Room: 4-370. Sponsor: Anime Club, MIT, UA Finance Board. nominations to [email protected]. Free. Room: Lobby 10. Sponsor: Alpha Phi Omega, Alpha Chi Chapter of. 7:00 p.m. - 9:30 p.m. – ACF Large Group meeting - The Christian Response to Evil. This event is especially sensitive towards people 10:00 a.m. – Undergraduate Admissions Office Information Session. Groups over 15 people need to make special reservations. Free. who are curious about learning more about Christianity. Prayer 6 p.m. Free. Room: McCormick Brown Living Room. Sponsor: Asian Room: Admissions Reception Center, (10-100). Sponsor: Admissions. Christian Fellowship. 10:45 a.m. – Campus Tour. Groups over 15 people need to make special reservations. Free. Room: Lobby 7. Sponsor: Information Center. 7:00 p.m. - 9:00 p.m. – Mambo Italiano. $3. Room: 26-100. Sponsor: LSC. 12:30 p.m. - 2:00 p.m. – Structural Modeling of Masonry Vaulting. Spring 2004 Building Technology Lecture Series. free. Room: AVT 7:30 p.m. - 9:00 p.m. – Bible Study. Is there more to life than grad school? We believe the answer is “YES!” Come study the word of (7-437). Sponsor: Building Technology Program:. God with us. There will be dinner provided and games afterward. Free. Room: 1-150. Sponsor: Asian Baptist Student Koinonia Gradu- 2:00 p.m. – Undergraduate Admissions Office Information Session. Groups over 15 people need to make special reservations. Free. ate Division, GSC Funding Board. Room: Admissions Reception Center, (10-100). Sponsor: Admissions. 7:30 p.m. - 9:30 p.m. – Touch of Evil. $3. Room: 10-250. Sponsor: LSC. 2:00 p.m. - 3:00 p.m. – Nuclear and Particle Theory Seminar. Anomalos U(1) Symmetry and a Solution tothe Standard Model Puzzles. 7:30 p.m. – Student Vocal Recital. . Victoria Davis ’04, soprano. Yukiko Ueno, piano. Works by John Jacob Niles, Arcangelo Lori,Anto- Free. Room: Center of Theoretical Physics Building 6 third floor seminar room. Sponsor: Laboratory for Nuclear Science. nio Salieri,Tommaso Traetta, Jules Massenet, Charles Gounod and Robert Schumann. Free. Room: Killian Hall. Sponsor: Music and 2:45 p.m. – Campus Tour. Groups over 15 people need to make special reservations. Free. Room: Lobby 7. Sponsor: Information Center. Theater Arts Section. 2:45 p.m. - 4:00 p.m. – Special EECS Seminar. Free. Room: 34-401A. Sponsor: Research Lab of Electronics. 8:00 p.m. – Power of Darkness. Leo Tolstoy’s play directed by Assistant Professor Jay Scheib. $8, $6 students. Room: Kresge Little 3:30 p.m. – Varsity Softball vs. Wheaton College (Doubleheader). Free. Room: Briggs Field. Theater. Sponsor: Dramashop. 4:00 p.m. - 5:00 p.m. – Mechanics Seminar: “Nanotweezers, magic dust, and liquid islands: quantum-mechanical modeling at the 8:00 p.m. – Roadkill Buffet Presents: Armando! Roadkill Buffet, MIT’s premiere improv comedy troupe, will be performing the Arman- nanoscale.” Large-scale electronic-structure calculations provide a remarkable tool to investigate the behavior of matter with atomic do Diaz Experience! Featuring a special guest performance by Michael Ouellette. Free. Room: Lobdell-Stratton Student Center (W20). resolution. The controlled conditions of “computational experiments” can provide unique insight into structure and performance, and Sponsor: Roadkill Buffet. allow considerable freedom in designing and screening novel molecular architectures and load absorbers, and the discovery of a novel 8:00 p.m. – Thespis. $10; $8 MIT community, seniors, other students & children; $6 MIT/Wellesley students (tentative). Room: Sala (truly “nano”) surface phase transition. Free. Room: 3-370. Sponsor: Mechanical Engineering Dept. de Puerto Rico. Sponsor: Gilbert and Sullivan Players, MIT. 4:00 p.m. - 5:00 p.m. – “On scalar-flat Kaehler surfaces.’’ Free. Room: 2-143. Sponsor: Differential Geometry Seminar, Mathematics, 8:00 p.m. – MIT Guest Artist Series: Corigliano String Quartet. Mozart’s String Quartet in E flat Major, K. 428; Andrew Waggoner’s Department of. Third String Quartet (2001-02); Mendelssohn’s String Quartet in D Major, Op. 44, No.1. Dedicated to the presentation of new Ameri- 4:00 p.m. - 6:00 p.m. – Sunlight is Life, The Dawning of Solar Electric Architecture. Sunlight is Life weaves technology, politics and can music in tandem with the standard quartet repertoire, the Corigliano Quartet was founded in 1996. The quartet won de Grand social policy together with humor and vivid graphics to clearly demonstrate that renewable energy is ready here and now and, to help Prize at the Fischoff Chamber Music and the Chamber Music Yellow Springs competitions. The Corigliano has recorded for CRI, Aguava define the path to a sustainable energy future in the post-petroleum world. Free. Room: 34-101. Sponsor: Department of Facilities, New Music and Bayer Records. Free. Room: Kresge Auditorium. Sponsor: Music and Theater Arts Section. The Environment at MIT Web Site. Massachusetts Technology Collaborative, MIT Community Solar Power Initiative, EPTF, Working 10:00 p.m. - 12:00 a.m. – Mambo Italiano. $3. Room: 26-100. Sponsor: LSC. Group on Recycling. 10:30 p.m. - 12:30 a.m. – Touch of Evil. $3. Room: 10-250. Sponsor: LSC. 4:00 p.m. - 5:30 p.m. – LBGT & Questioning Support and Discussion Group. Facilitated bi-weekly support and discussions for all Saturday, April 10 LBGT and questioning undergraduate and graduate students - not just for coming out. Safe and confidential! Free. Room: 5-104. Spon- sor: Academic Resource Center, lbgt@mit. 8:00 a.m. - 9:00 p.m. – MarsWeek 2004 Conference. Free (MIT) - $10 (student) - $30 (professional). Room: 6-120. Sponsor: MIT 4:15 p.m. - 5:15 p.m. – How to Compute the Volume? Refreshments at 3:30 p.m. in Room 2-349. Free. Room: 2-105. Sponsor: Mars Society, LEF (Large Events Fund). Lockheed-Martin Civil Space. Applied Mathematics Colloquium. Department of Mathematics. 9:00 a.m. – Varsity Women’s Tennis vs. Colby College. Free. Room: du Pont Tennis Courts/JB Carr Tennis Bubble. Sponsor: Physical 5:30 p.m. - 7:30 p.m. – Italian Architects and Modern Egypt. Talk by Aga Khan Program in Islamic Architecture Post-Doctoral Fellow Education, Department of Athletics, Physical Education and Recreation. Prof. Cristina Pallini, Politecnico di Milano, Milan, Italy. Free. Room: Rm 3-133. Sponsor: Aga Khan Program for Islamic Architecture. 11:00 a.m. - 1:00 p.m. – Easter Brunch. An Easter brunch with good food, crafts and easter egg hunt for kids, and a coffee hour for 6:30 p.m. - 8:30 p.m. – Professor Lester Thurow on the integration of China into the global economy — the Facts, Fiction and adults. Free. Room: Eastgate Penthouse Lounge. Sponsor: Eastgate Community Association, GSC Funding Board. Future. The MIT Sloan Club of Detroit in cooperation with The MIT Alliance of Michigan announces an address by the MIT Sloan School 11:00 a.m. – Varsity Men’s Outdoor Track and Field Meet. Competing Schools: Bowdoin College and UMass-Lowell. Free. Room: of Management’s Professor Lester Thurow on the Integration of China into the Global Economy: Facts, Fiction and Future. $25 MIT Steinbrenner Stadium. Sponsor: Physical Education, Department of Athletics, Physical Education and Recreation. Sloan Alumni and MIT Alliance club members; $35 MIT alumni and invited guests; $10 for students and recent alumni (save $5 off 11:30 a.m. – Varsity Softball vs. U.S. Coast Guard Academy (Doubleheader). Free. Room: Briggs Field. door prices). Room: Hyatt Regency in Dearborn, MI. Sponsor: MIT Sloan Alumni, MIT Sloan Club of Detroit. April 9, 2004 THE TECH Page 13 Hawaiian Luau

(clockwise from upper left)

Members of the MIT Hawai’i Club give a lively Tahitian performance. The annual MIT Hawai’i Club Luau was held last Saturday in Walker Memorial.

Robert J. Steininger ’06 crams his face with spam and rice. Steininger won the men’s spam-eating competition.

Guest dancers from Wellesley perform a traditional Hawaiian dance.

Photography by Jina Kim.

Production We make them look good News ✦ Photography ✦ Features ✦ Opinion World and Nation ✦ Sports ✦ Comics ✦ Arts E-mail [email protected]

W20-483, x3-1541 [email protected] Page 14 THE TECH April 9, 2004

JINA KIM—THE TECH Travis Shettel, frontman of Piebald, sings at “Baker House Rock.” Several bands played at the event in Baker Dining last Saturday. SPERM DONORS NEEDED

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5:30 a.m. 1-800-231-3373 Ext. 41 www.cryobankdonors.com Sunday, April 11 Roof of Baker House Rain Location: MIT Chapel

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http://web.mit.edu/lem/www/ April 9, 2004 THE TECH Page 15 Student Groups Told W A N T E D Not To Show Movies by the Kelly-Douglas Fund World Travelers Excellent Essayists Without Permission who are juniors who are undergraduates Copyright, from Page 1 fined. seeking seeking MIT Senior Counsel for Intellec- Blanket license being considered tual Property Ann M. Hammersla Alonso said that ASA officers $1,200 grants $800 awards did not respond to repeated requests attended a copyright presentation for comment. with the SAO in March to discuss future directions. ASA warns groups about policy Robinson said that MIT is cur- Jason B. Alonso ’04, treasurer of rently looking into purchasing a Submit your application or essay before or on April 14 the ASA, said that the ASA is work- broad license so that student groups ing with the Student Activities and dormitories will be able to show at 5 p.m. to 4-246 (Music & Theater Arts). For further Office to make sure that student movies in the future without punish- groups do not infringe on the movie ment. copyright rules in the future. “What we’re hoping to do is, information, see http://web.mit.edu/mta/www/music/ The ASA sent an e-mail that rather than [have] each student they wrote with the SAO and Tech- group paying individually each time resources/kellytraveling or kellyprize.html nology Licensing Office to the offi- they want to show a movie, obtain a cers of student activity groups in a broad license,” Robinson said. March 1 e-mail. Excerpts from the Until MIT has such a license, e-mail follow: both student groups and dormitories “At the advice of MIT’s Senior will not be allowed to have movie Counsel for Intellectual Property, nights, though Robinson said that we are writing to inform all student small, spontaneous viewings are groups that they must remove all allowed. copyright protected material from “If someone wants to show a their web sites (this includes pic- film or movie, we’re working with Department of Materials Science and Engineering tures as well as text) … Also, stu- them on that until we get that broad dent groups must refrain from hold- license,” Robinson said. “It’s really ing public showings of movies in everyone’s best interest to keep Course 3 (free or otherwise) without the having this available to MIT.” proper permission from the copy- Robinson said that he estimates OPEN HOUSE FAIR right holder.” the cost of the license to be “several “This whole affair has given the thousand [dollars] at least.” He said Friday ASA fairly deep concerns,” Alonso that the SAO is working with sever- said. “If anything were to go wrong, al groups and individuals, including April 9, 2004 it would be more money than the the ASA, Undergraduate Associa- ASA or even the Student Activities tion, Graduate Student Council, and 12:00pm – 2:00pm Office could even begin to deal Dean for Student Life Larry G. with. The SAO, ASA, and other Benedict, to determine where the Bush Room 10-105 groups are, for the most part, money will come from. scared.” “We very much want student Come meet the faculty and students in Course 3 The ASA e-mail also said that groups to be able to show movies,” “groups that fail to follow these Alonso said. policies will be responsible for pay- The SAO has posted a frequently ing any fees that may arise.” asked questions page regarding Lunch will be provided Robinson said that the student copyright policies for student groups that had originally shown the groups and dormitories at copyrighted movies will not be http://web.mit.edu/slp/safety/faq.htm.

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Media Sponsor: Page 16 THE TECH April 9, 2004 EASTER PLANT SALE! Positions of Sec, VP Stayed Uncontested GSC, from Page 1 By the official rules of the GSC, more than half of the council mem- members at large. bers are required to be present for Don’t forget a nice flowering the vote in order for it to be Candidates reopen floor approved. At the beginning of the GSC In addition, Bhuwan Singh G, meeting, the positions for president, publicly expressed interest in plant for your holiday dinner vice president, and secretary were becoming a candidate for treasurer officially uncontested, although all at the meeting, said Folkert. Howev- three candidates withdrew their er, he has not yet submitted a state- host/ess nominations to allow more people ment. to run. Folkert said that he is pushing The candidates for president for a special session for choosing a were Singh, Jose Pacheco G, and new treasurer. “I want to give the LaRuth C. McAfee G, the current treasurer as much time as possible GSC Treasurer. Although Singh to get started,” he said. was the only candidate to submit a Where: Stratton (W-20) 1st Floor statement by the official deadline on Elected officers excited to begin Monday evening, Pacheco and Hernandez, who was not McAfee had expressed interest informed of his nomination until before the meeting, and distributed Monday evening, said that he is When: Friday April 9, 9AM-6PM statements during the meeting, said honored and excited about starting Michael R. Folkert G, the current his role as the GSC vice president. GSC vice president. “To have someone nominate me is There were no new nominations such an honor,” Hernandez said. “I for vice president or secretary at the want to do the best job possible.” meeting, and both candidates were Singh said he is also eager to get approved by the council. started. “I’m looking forward to And boxes of interesting house The election for treasurer was working with the executive commit- postponed for several reasons, said tee, the representatives, the student Folkert. Virgilio M. Villacorta G, body, and the administration,” he and dorm plants too! the only candidate to submit a state- said, “I think there’s a lot we can ment for the position by the Monday get done in the next year.” deadline, was out of town and not The current officers will work able to attend the meeting. In addi- with the newly elected officers to tion, between the election of the facilitate the transition. The elected secretary and the treasurer, several officers will begin their terms at the voters had to leave, making the next general council meeting, on number of voters dip below quorum. May 5.

GOOD FRIDAY SERVICE

12noon Friday, April 9 MIT Chapel

Sponsored by the Lutheran-Episcopal Ministry at MIT

http://web.mit.edu/lem/www/ April 9, 2004 THE TECH Page 17 MIT, Cambridge Make Changes Positions Available Graduate Housing Opportunity

In Response to CME Feedback Positions Available for live-in Resident Advisors for MIT's Fraternities, Sororities, and Exchange, from Page 1 faculty on both sides of the Redwine cited this sentiment as Independent Living Groups. exchange have led to many changes a common reason MIT students do Applications are due by April 15, 2004, and are each year. In the first year of the at MIT and Cambridge. not pursue study abroad programs. program, “students had trouble with Cambridge students typically “Many MIT students have the feel- available online at: exams because we didn't prepare do not participate in undergraduate ing that ‘This is the place I really http://web.mit.edu/slp/fsilgs/ra-application.html them adequately,” she said, specu- research, said McKinley, and want to be.’ That’s understandable, lating that this led to negative feed- exchange students who have par- but I do think it’s a little short-sight- Description: A Resident Advisor is expected to back about the program. ticipated in MIT’s Undergraduate ed,” he said. He hopes students will serve as a mentor, guide, and resource for “Every year, we do better” Research Opportunities Program consider the benefits of studying students and to serve as a liaison between the preparing MIT students for study at have usually enjoyed it. Because abroad before dismissing the option. chapter and the Dean's Office. The RA is Cambridge through activities such of this and remarks from MIT stu- expected to know and educate FSILG students as orientation sessions, she said. dents saying they missed the Solution to Crossword about MIT policies, applicable Chapter and/or This may have led to this year's research opportunities while over- from page 12 increase in applicants, she said. seas, program coordinators are Fraternity/Sorority headquarters policies, and Twelve MIT departments are cur- now trying to provide UROP common sense safety practices. Training is rently involved in the exchange, and opportunities in Cambridge said provided. the program will expand to include Redwine. Brain and Cognitive Sciences Comments from students at Remuneration: All Resident Assistants receive (course IX) next year, Enders said. both universities are also leading to free room and board. In addition, some This year’s applicants included changes at MIT. In upcoming organizations may include a small stipend. an unusually large number of stu- years, problem sets will be reevalu- Each Resident Advisor is furnished with a single dents majoring in Aeronautics and ated as a learning tool, said Red- Astronautics (course XVI) but no wine. Redwine said that the pres- room in the chapter facility. students majoring in Mathematics sure to complete weekly problems (course XVIII). Therefore, math sets may leave students with a Qualifications: A BA or BS and/or graduate majors from Cambridge will not be lower level of understanding. The enrollment at an accredited institution are able to participate in the exchange. April issue of the Faculty Newslet- required. Professor S. Mark Spearing, the ter includes an article on the pro- faculty member in charge of the gram that mentions Cambridge stu- CME program for course XVI, said dents frequently complained that that 11 sophomores from his depart- MIT students “tend to lose sight of ment applied to the exchange, and everything but what is due the next ten have been accepted. day.” In previous years of the In addition, because of positive exchange, only a few course XVI responses of MIT students to Cam- students attended Cambridge. bridge’s supervisions — in which Spearing said he was not sure why small student groups discuss exam- the participation increased this year. ple problems with advisors — Mechanical Engineering (course II) Future of program promising is proposing an educational experi- Although it is likely that current ment to allow next year’s sopho- funding for the Cambridge-MIT mores to replace their recitations Institute, the parent program of with supervisions, said McKinley. CME, will end in 2006, the CME is expected to continue as an indepen- Views on exchange programs vary dent program. Sophomores participating in the Currently, the CME has funding exchange next year have high hopes for at least two years, said Dean for for their time in England. Undergraduate Education Robert P. “Since high school, I was inter- Redwine, who said that he is work- ested in doing a study abroad,” said ing to “achieve endowment for incre- Jamie J. Shin ’06, a course XIV mental expenses students incur” major who will participate in the through their participation in the pro- exchange next year. “I just want to gram such as travel, college fees, and see something different,” she said. additional health insurance costs. “I wanted to experiment with a For each student, these expenses new environment,” said Xue S. Li usually amount to around $5000, ’06, who has also been accepted meaning that if 50 students from into next year’s program. She has each institution participate in the goals for the year abroad that extend exchange, the cost per year comes beyond academics: “I can’t wait to to $500,000, an amount Redwine pick up a Cockney accent,” she said. describes as “significant but not Other students are content to completely unmanageable.” remain at MIT. Christian R. Ruiz Enders said that the future of the ’06 said he thinks his MIT educa- program seems promising com- tion is better than anything Cam- menting, “I can’t see it not continu- bridge could provide. “I’m majoring ing for any reason.” in Electrical Engineering and Com- puter Science. MIT is the place to Universities consider changes be for engineering. Why would I go Responses from students and to Cambridge?” he said.

LBGT & Questioning Support & Discussion Group for MIT Students

Facilitated bi-weekly support and discussions for all LBGT and Questioning undergraduate and graduate students – Not just for coming out.

Safe and confidential!

Groups will meet on the Second and Fourth Mondays of each month

4:00 - 5:30pm in Room 5-104

For more information, contact James Collins [email protected] 617.253.4861 OR visit http://mit.edu/lbgt/support

SdbLBGT@MIT d CSS Page 18 THE TECH April 9, 2004 Most Hacking Cases Involve No Hearings Hackers, from Page 1 made by associate dean of student discipline Steven J. Tyrell. was surprising to me.” Tyrell could not be reached for Kosut said that of the five other comment. hackers who were caught, only one had been caught before, and that Hacking punishments questioned person also went through the hear- Kosut said he found that the ing process. worst part of the hearing process “Only if you’d been caught and his punishment was that multi- before did you get a hearing,” said ple offenses have more serious con- Kosut. sequences. Orme-Johnson said that each “It’s a sentiment that disturbs case is considered individually, and me, because it means if you get that there are three possible ways caught, you can’t hack anymore,” that a case can be handled. Kosut said. The first way is through a Kosut also said that he is both- dean’s office panel, where a hear- ered by the hypocrisy that exists in a ing is held by three administrators punishment for an action that brings and two students. The second, is an MIT so much positive publicity. administrative review by one dean The Wright Brother’s plane was and one student, which was the pictured on MIT’s home page on the case in this instance. The third day of the hack and also appeared in BEN GALLUP—THE TECH option involves the Committee on The Boston Globe. The Undergraduate Association provides “Midnight Breakfast” Wednesday night as part of Under- Discipline. “I don’t blame anyone in partic- graduate Appreciation Week, which concludes today with free bubble tea in Lobby 10 from noon Because each case is handled ular,” Kosut said. “They’re not the to 2 p.m. individually, Orme-Johnson said, ones who are generating publicity “there is no automatic hearing.” and reaping the benefits, and I don’t There is actually a “fourth possi- blame the alumni office for taking ble way that a case can be resolved advantage of [the positive publici- without a hearing,” by just talking ty], because they’re not the ones with a dean, Orme-Johnson said. who were punishing me.” “Roof cases have been handled in “The problem is a higher level, that way.” he said. “People way up in the Orme-Johnson declined to com- administration, if they care about ment on why Kosut’s case was not hacks and the publicity, that mes- handled without a hearing. She said sage was not handed down to the that the decision to have a hearing is people who punish them.” April 9, 2004 SPORTS THE TECH Page 19 Soft Canucks Go Up in Flames Rugby Season Begins Thomas from Page 20 hit Atlanta phenom Dany Heatley) by Joe Sakic, Peter Forsberg, Milan and an unbelievable performance Hejduk, and the underappreciated Longtime skipper Joel Quenneville from Vezina trophy candidate Miik- Alex Tanguay, you might feel With Blowout Victory was fired midseason, to much sur- ka Kiprusoff, quietly acquired for a unnecessary, too. prise, and replaced by his assistant draft pick from San Jose. It was the Dallas swooned near the end of By Jenny Hu smaller, they worked together to Mike Kitchen who has taken charge. Kiprusoff pickup that began to drive the season, but most of the blame TEAM MEMBER make tackles and stop Holyoke’s San Jose has played so consis- this team, under coach/GM Darryl for that goes squarely to goalie The MIT Women’s Rugby team advances. The forwards looked tently and so well, and St. Louis Sutter, toward a fine season. And Marty Turco, who earned himself a started its spring season with a 27–5 strong in the scrum, and hooker goalie Chris Osgood hasn’t been the even the expensive backup, former four game suspension for excessive win against Mt. Holyoke last Satur- Debra Horng ’04 obtained the ball same since he won his Cup with number one goalie Roman Turek, stickwork on the face of Edmon- day. Mt. Holyoke’s defense was no in a couple scrums. Rookie wing Detroit. Sharks in six. has played in incredible form down ton’s Ryan Smyth. Turco’s energy match for the speed of MIT’s back Lucy Rodd G assisted rookie flanker the stretch. The quiet yet key addi- should help the Stars avenge their line. Wing Christina Obiaya ’04 Barbara Peng ’07 for a try in the Canucks (3) vs. Flames (6) tion of enforcer/scorer Chris Simon second-round defeat to the Ducks in scored the first try in the first few second half. After Peng carried the The entire sports world heard can only help the Flames. last year’s contest, as will good per- minutes of the match on a break- ball into Mt. Holyoke defenders about the Canucks through the worst This Calgary team can outgrit formances from captain Mike away run up the side of the pitch. near the try line, a hit from Rodd circumstances; the regrettable attack the Canucks, and playoff hockey Modano and former Bruin Bill With support from the forwards, pushed them forward just far upon Colorado’s Steve Moore (a needs grit. And goaltending, at Guerin. But the Stars have immense backs Sheila Longo ’05, Rebecca enough for Peng to touch the ball Harvard graduate, FYI) by well- which Vancouver netminder Dan difficulty winning away from Dallas Asser G, and Danielle Gilbert ’04 down on the line for five points. respected Vancouver forward Todd Cloutier has proven ineffective in going 15–19–2 in enemy territory, all evaded tackles and sprinted into The MIT women had their first Bertuzzi. It brought the venom of the playoffs. Calgary in six. despite an excellent mark at home. the Holyoke try zone. Gilbert also winning season in several years last the uninformed news world upon the That should fit nicely with Col- kicked a two-point conversion fol- fall and are working hard this sea- game, even though an incident of Avalanche (4) vs. Stars (5) orado’s spectacular road record. lowing Longo’s try. son for more wins. Next Saturday, this magnitude was isolated. As far The biggest question surround- Watch for the Avs to take this to the The MIT defense picked up after MIT will play Bowdoin College as the hockey world was concerned, ing Colorado these playoffs is — wire, winning it in Denver in the Mt. Holyoke’s only try in the first from Maine at 1 p.m. on Briggs Vancouver was going to drop out of you guessed it — goaltending. full seven. half. Although MIT’s players were Field. contention with their star power for- David Aebischer completed a very ward suspended for the rest of the successful season in the wake of season; while a brief swoon at the Patrick Roy’s retirement, but the beginning gave the naysayers a Swiss Mister will be viewed under UPCOMING HOME EVENTS boost, they quickly turned it around the same microscope as any other and have played extremely well, goalie heading into the first playoffs Saturday, April 10 1 p.m., Varsity Men’s Tennis, Springfield Col- clinching the division away from the as a number one. The Avs made rip- 9 a.m., Varsity Women’s Tennis, Colby College, lege, duPont Tennis Courts / JB Carr Tennis Bubble hated Avalanche. ples when they signed the potent duPont Tennis Courts / JB Carr Tennis Bubble 2 p.m., Varsity Women’s Outdoor Track and Don’t let Calgary fool you, how- duo of Paul Kariya and Teemu 11 a.m., Varsity Men’s Outdoor Track and Field Field Meet, Steinbrenner Stadium ever. Their return to the playoffs for Selanne for peanuts last offseason, Meet, Steinbrenner Stadium the first time since 1996 has been but the two have played below their 11:30 a.m., Varsity Softball, U.S. Coast Guard Monday, April 12 possible due to a strong season from capability all year, likely due to the Academy (Doubleheader), Briggs Field 3:30 p.m., Varsity Softball, Wheaton College captain Jarome Iginla (getting over lack of need for them to step up. Of 1 p.m., Women’s Rugby, Bowdoin, Briggs Field (Doubleheader), Briggs Field his EA sports jinx, which this year course, when you’re overshadowed MIT Men’s Crew Brings Alumni Cup Back Home Kendo Team By Craig Rothman TEAM MEMBER Wins At West Every spring, the heavyweight crew competes in 2,000 meter races against the most competitive crews in Point Match the nation in the East- ern Association of By Patrick Lam Rowing Colleges, con- TEAM MEMBER sisting of all Division I Last Sunday, the MIT Kendo A schools. This past Team won all of its five matches to weekend the crew take first place out of nine teams at raced against Columbia University the First Annual West Point Kendo for the Alumni Cup in Mercer Coun- Tournament, defeating the West ty, NJ. Several races each spring are Point A Team in the final round. cup races, where the winner actually MIT’s B Team finished third in its receives a large cup. The Alumni cup five-team bracket, missing the race began in 1977 and has been very semifinals by one point, an impres- competitive, and with MIT’s win this sive finish for an inexperienced past Saturday, the cup record stands team. at 19–15 (Columbia–MIT). Kendo, or “the way of the The race was originally sched- sword,” has been practiced at MIT uled for the Harlem River in New since 1999. Kendo is a martial art York, but because of a Columbia developed by the Japanese samurai. scheduling conflict, Columbia It has remained virtually unchanged requested that they race MIT and over the last 400 years and promotes the United States Naval Academy discipline, spirit, and respect. A the same day. Thus, the race was kendo team has five members; in a moved to a more suitable location team match, each member fights an for races with three boats, Mercer individual match against the corre- Lake, NJ. MIT, Columbia, and CRAIG ROTHMAN sponding member of the opposing Navy raced together when all three Members of the men’s crew team bring their boat back up after the Alumni Cup race in New Jersey. team. The team with the most indi- schools fielded boats, but each race (7) finished with a time of 5:57.16. of being persistent with good tech- however, and we were unable to vidual victories wins the match. In was considered as two separate Oarsman Michael P. Whitaker ’07 nique, but sometimes at the expense mount an effective sprint in the last an individual match, a kendo player races, MIT vs. Columbia and said, “As we reach our full potential, of a powerful drive. Not the case 500 meters.” must use a bamboo sword to strike Columbia vs. Navy. our crew has a chance to beat crews this time around… I really think The members of the first fresh- his opponent’s head, wrists, torso, MIT began the varsity eight race that the MIT Heavyweights haven’t we’ve started on a good upward men eight were from stern to bow, or throat to score points. These tar- with a strong start, going off the line beaten in a long time.” Following the trend. We’re swinging together and Monica Guo ’07 (coxswain), Arthur gets are protected by traditional with a stroke rate of 43 SPM win, the rowers tossed coxswain cleaning up the releases, showing J. Franke ’07 (stroke), Jacob R. armor (the “bogu”). An individual (strokes per minute) and settling 40 Craig J. Rothman ’05 into the lake, a signs of a fast and respectable boat.” Flatter ’07, Martin E. Harrysson match continues until one side wins strokes later to a high 37 SPM tradition for the winning team. The members of the second var- ’07, Charles W. O’Donnell G, two points or until time runs out. where the rate remained for the Varsity coach Gordon Hamilton sity eight were Marcos I. Flores ’05 Matthew R. Zedler ’07, Jose H. The final matches were thrilling. majority of the race. said, “We have a very motivated (coxswain), Christopher R. Rhodes Soltren ’07, Evan A. Karlik ’07, and West Point A played flawless kendo After the first 300 meters of the squad this year. The First Varsity was ’06 (stroke), Patrick R. Buckley G, Dwight M. Chambers ’07 (bow). against Rutgers, relegating them to race, Columbia’s great start put them a brilliant win, but not a brilliant row. Adam S. Kaczmarek ’06, Ian H. The freshmen four raced against third place and setting up a West ahead of MIT by about half a boat We have it in us, but this was not it.” Whitehead CMI, Harry J. Lichter two Navy fours. The two Navy Point vs. MIT final. Hyungbin Son length. MIT stayed calm, focused, The members of the first varsity ’06, Matthew G. Richards ’04, Ben- fours finished in first and second ’04 won his match with two points, and began moving up on Columbia. eight were from stern to bow, Craig jamin R. Howell ’07, and Brendan with times of 7:04.4 and 7:13.6. The even after taking two half-point MIT caught up to Columbia by the J. Rothman ’05 (coxswain), John J. J. Smith ’06 (bow). MIT four came in third with a time penalties for stepping out of the end of the first 500 meters and had a Cooley ’05 (stroke), Robert A. The freshmen eight race began of 8:25.7. court. Luis Tovar CM tied an one-length lead by the 1,000-meter Figueiredo ’05, R. Andrew Hill ’05, awkwardly for MIT because the The members of the first fresh- exhausting, scoreless five minute mark after having made a big push John B. Miller ’05, Christopher P. crew was not prepared when the men four were from stern to bow match, while Holly B. Laird ’07 at the halfway point. Throughout the Wodzicki G, John J. Bergin ’06, announcer started the race. Thus, off Alexander M. Patrikalakis ’07 won her match with two clean head third 500 meters, Columbia pushed Alexander C. Ince-Cushman G, and the start, Columbia was three- (coxswain), Benjamin D. Wasser- strikes. MIT was now one match back and reduced the MIT lead to Michael P. Whitaker ’06 (bow). fourths of a length ahead of MIT, man ’07 (stroke), Matthew R. away from first place. Kendo club only half a boat length. The second varsity eight raced and after 1,000 meters of the race, Zedler ’07, Zachary J. Watts ’07, captain Oskar Bruening G won his “When things got a little sloppy, the second and third Navy varsity Columbia had extended their lead to and Andrew J. Lisy ’07 (bow). match, and the tournament, by com- around 1,300 meters down, and they eights, as Columbia could not field a two boat lengths. Columbia caught a The crews are looking forward pleting the allotted match time with started to catch back up, I never second varsity eight. Off the start, crab with 500 meters to go and MIT to their next cup race, the Donahue a single head strike to his credit; doubted that we’d clean it up and pull MIT was down to both boats but moved back a length, but Colum- Cup, against Williams College, finally, A team captain Joon Sik away. Ten strokes later, we did,” said settled well and held a powerful and bia’s lead was too much to over- WPI, and Connecticut College in Yoon G closed the tournament by co-captain R. Andrew Hill ’05. Going steady rhythm early and kept it come. Columbia beat MIT with a Worcester, MA on April 10. The tying against the West Point captain. into the last 500 meters, MIT refo- throughout the body of the race. time of 6:26.0 to 6:39.7. Navy came next home race, the Compton Cup, The MIT B team members were cused, took the speed up, and finished MIT finished third with a time of in first with a time of 6:12.7. will be held April 17 on the Charles Sada Inoue CM, Patrick Lam G, a little more than a boat length ahead 6:46.3, beaten by both Navy crews Freshmen coach Daniel Perkins River against nationally ranked Har- Joonah Yoon G, Ulf Knoblich G, of Columbia. MIT finished with a with times of 6:09.0 and 6:12.3. said, “Our guys were down early vard and Princeton. and B team captain Chang She ’05. time of 6:11.96, beating Columbia’s Stroke Christopher R. Rhodes and fought back to a length of open Assistant coach Daniel Perkins Team members Holly B. Laird time of 6:16.0, thereby winning the ’06 said, “I think last week [vs. down after Columbia made some and team member Christopher R. and Oskar Bruening contributed to Alumni Cup. Nationally ranked Navy Boston College], we did a good job mistakes. Columbia recovered, Rhodes ’06 contributed to this story. the reporting of this story. Page 20 THE TECH April 9, 2004 SPORTS MLB Breakdown: Yes, I Really Do Love the Royals By Phil Janowicz cuts to the Boston area. out how to win? They’ve tried in the NL this season. seemed to gain more control of his SPORTS EDITOR The Yankees added quite a bit, everything from buying players to The Phillies will be an even big- pitches so he can cut down on the It’s time to wake up and emerge but they’re just too old. They have attacking Royals, but all they have ger disappointment than last year number of walks and homers he sur- from the winter coffin because several good players, but they have to show for it is Billy “Ed” Koch. when they couldn’t close out the renders. Even MIT will affect spring is here. And with spring too much steric hindrance at each At least the Tigers have revamped Vet in style in any sport. change in San Diego with our own comes position. Too much talent is a detri- their squad with a Pudge in the right I hate the Braves. Jason E. Szuminski ’01. Jason will baseball, ment to clubhouse dynamics, and as direction. They’ll still finish last, but The Expos are always on the have the privilege of carrying Column the best the Marlins showed last year, chem- they’ll only lose 100 games. brink of breaking loose, but they around the pink Barbie bag contain- reason for living. Last year, the Mar- istry is everything. The Indians will be the most never do, and they won’t again this ing sunflower seeds for the players, lins shocked the baseball world The Orioles added quite a bit as improved team in the AL this year year. a tradition that gets passed down to when they shallacked the Yankees in well, but they’re years away. The with their talent blossoming. They Am I forgetting something? Nah, the rookie in the bullpen. Jason, you six games to capture baseball’s cov- Blue Jays… what can I say? They rid their clubhouse of excess bag- nothing important. are the pride of MIT. eted World Series title. To date, the have talent, but are in the toughest gage, and have an excellent team. The Diamondbacks can’t ride on Marlins have never lost a postseason division in baseball, and they still Hitting coach Eddie “Beverly Hills NL Central the back of Randy “Baby” Johnson series in their entire existence. Sure, have a year to wait before Kevin Cop” Murray has these hitters more Is this the Cubs’ year? Perhaps, because the combined weight would I’ve been alive longer than the Mar- Cash “Cow” produces for them as patient at the plate and are putting but they have heavy competition on kill him. The Diamondbacks won’t lins, but my managing skills have the “catcher of the future.” In the up some impressive hitting statis- their Achilles heels. The Cubs need compete this year because of their not procured me a title ring. Maybe meantime, Toronto, Go Leafs Go. tics. Their starting pitching will health, and they’ll be golden if they lack of depth and general inexperi- my prognostication skills can let me And the Devil Rays will surprise show a vast improvement over last can obtain it, but the Cardinals have ence, but next year will see the blos- piggy-back on the next World Series many people this year. They have a year, but their bullpen still has the the firepower to overtake them. soming of Alex “Absolut” Cintron champion: the Boston Red Sox. great outfield and young pitchers tendency to blow leads late in Plagued by injuries last season, the and Robby “Relax in My” Ham- making noise. Look for them not to games. Unless the Tribe corrects Cardinals will bounce back strongly mock. AL East finish dead last for the first time in this problem, their hopes will be by surprising many with the NL I hate the Giants. From this point forward, we will their existence. washed away down the Cuyahoga. Central title. Their pitching may be The Dodgers just can’t seem to no longer rely on next year to bring a bit suspect, but Matt “Jimmy” find a way to win day-to-day. On us our championship. With the AL Central AL West Morris can carry a lot of weight on paper, they are a spectacular team, acquisitions of Keith “Queer As” Continuing the surge they pro- The Angels will win the west. his shoulders. but the jigsaw pieces can’t seem to Foulke, “Hokey” Pokey Reese, and vided last season, the Royals will Hands down. With Anaheim as the The Astros bolstered their pitch- be connected. Hopefully, for their Curt “Von Trapp” Schilling (not to take the AL Central by a large mar- only team in the west improving in ing staff with Yankee castoffs sake, they’ll figure it out soon or mention the great commercials along gin. Maybe their pitching is a little any respect in the offseason, they Roger “Dodger” Clemens and Andy else all their talent will be dried up. with him), the Sox are poised to take suspect, but they’ll pull through on will fly above the competition. “Find My Dog And” Pettite. They The Rockies will surprise many the AL East crown away from the the shoulders of their incredible Vladimir “The Impaler” Guerrero is won’t live up to form, and all the this season with a vast improvement. perpetually hated Bronx Bastards. offense and amazing team chem- the new Angel in the outfield, and Astros’ doubters will prove their The Coors curse will be lifted, and Sure, Pedro’s fastball has lost a bit istry. Manager Tony “Manager of Kelvim Escobar “of Soap” and Bar- collective point. they’ll finish above .500 for the first of its zip, but that just means that the Year” Pena is so crucial to the tolo “Marshmallow” Colon will The Brewers, Pirates, and Reds time in a while. The offense is there, he’ll mix in some more breaking Royals success and brings back the headline their new rotation. Seattle all suck. as usual, but now the pitching will stuff. With the killer pitching staff positive attitude he provided last is still too old; Oakland is too fru- help their case as well. Colorado the Sox have, not to mention their season. Now, a healthy Mike gal; Texas is just plain bad. NL West native and All-Star Shawn “Puffy” top-rated offense, the Sox have all Sweeney “Todd” and bolstered out- Look out for the upstart Padres Chacon is the new closer in the mile- the tools on paper to win anything field will propel the Royals back to NL East because these boys are the new high city, and he’ll earn many a save and everything in their way. their mid 1980s status. The Marlins are just too good. fathers of the NL West. With so because he seems to be the only per- The intangibles are the only iffy With new turf and a new closer, Even with the loss of Pudge, Ramon many offseason acquisitions and son to have figured out the height factor. With new manager Terry the Twins look to three-peat as “Fidel” Castro has stepped up to healthy players, the Padres will take issue of breaking pitches. The “Julio” Francona and the temporary champions. If the injury of Joe take his place and perform poten- the west easily. The return of Trevor offense is there, as usual, but now the alienation of Nomar and Manny Mauer “Power” is any indication, tially better than his predecessor. “Dustin” Hoffman, Phil Nevin pitching will help their case as well. over the offseason, the team chem- their season will end in disappoint- Miguel “Player of the New” Cabr- “Doubt” from the season long DL The season will prove to be a istry is the only thing in doubt. ment. I’m sorry, Minnesota, pack era will just be even better than last will return stability to the club as good one with the city of Boston Hopefully, the team can pull togeth- your bags. You’re going home. year, and there seems to be nothing they build on a new foundation. burned in a massive fire in October er once again and bring more hair- Will the White Sox ever figure standing in the way of the Marlins Jake “The Snake” Peavy has that will last for 85 blissful years. Masterful Setup for The Masters NHL Western Playoffs: By Yong-yi Zhu Many of the players have said this is perfect. In Only One Surprise Here SPORTS COLUMNIST fact, the weather is perfect for this tournament to be By Andrew C. Thomas he’s shown himself to be capable Boy, are the stars aligning themselves these cou- as difficult as possible. Rain has marred all the Mas- OPINION COLUMNIST following the departure of Mike ple of weeks. Most of the major sports are providing ters tournaments since the new length was added in Westward ho. After picking two Dunham to New York last season, major excitement. Whether it be the NHL entering 2001. This year will be the first true test of how that numerical upsets in the Eastern and even a number one, but the their playoffs, the NBA length will affect the players. Sure, the sun will be Conference, that should leave me Preds have been streaky all season beginning their postseason, out, but you had better watch out when putting down with none, long. They define the term “under Column the NCAA providing not the hill, or that 10-footer could just as well translate statistically the radar” just as well as last year’s one, but two thrilling tournaments, or the anticipated to a 20-footer coming back. Column speaking Minnesota Wild; the recent acquisi- start to the baseball season, life as a sports fan is If the course really plays as tough as it has so far, (historically, the home-ice team has tion of Chicago winger Steve Sulli- rather lively at the moment. But amidst all that, the and the wind picks up to make the situation even won roughly 80 percent of best-of- van proved to be an immediate Masters have begun. worse, you can bet that only a handful of players will seven series in the NHL). Permit me boom in early March, complement- What does that mean for golf? It means that mag- be in it. Players like Woods, Mickelson, Davis Love to break it as I pick just one upset in ing the team perfectly. But this is nolias and azaleas will be the hosts of the weekend III, Vijay Singh, and Ernie Els are all good candi- the West. Incidentally, the section the first trip to the playoffs for the (well, I guess Hootie Johnson will be there, too). It dates for winning this year because of their ability to deadline of 6:00 p.m. on Wednes- Preds, who might just feel content means that Tiger Woods will get a chance to do play under horrible conditions. Just think back to day means that these picks were to be invited to the dance. something he hasn’t done since his visit to the Beth- when Woods shot under par at Pebble Beach in the made without any knowledge of the Detroit won’t be able to deal page Black course. It means that Phil Mickelson will 2000 US Open. Or when Ernie won the grueling games. Trust me. with anything less than a Cup final get the opportunity, one more time, to win a major. British Open in 2002 when the rains and wind even These picks are dedicated to Jason appearance, and I don’t think light- And sadly, it means that Arnold Palmer will be walk- got to Woods and forced him to put up an 81. Or E. Szuminski ’01, the pride of Briggs ning will strike twice with lucky ing the course at Augusta for one last time. when Davis shot that 64 at the Players Championship Field. Welcome to the show, meat. goalies. Detroit to sweep. This year, the course at Augusta is shaping up to last year when everyone else struggled under difficult be one of the most difficult ever in recent history. The conditions. These guys are out here to play. Red Wings (1) vs. Predators (8) Sharks (2) vs. Blues (7) greens and the fairways are hard and fast. What that My pick for the week? Phil Mickelson. He has After being swept last year by the The Battle of the Saints takes means for the players is that they must not only hit really been a different man in 2004. Last year, he was upstart Mighty Ducks of Anaheim, hold once again. The Sharks are good shots that land on the green, but they must hit down at the bottom in terms of driving accuracy. He Detroit will not underestimate the way ahead of schedule this year, perfect ones that stay on the green. What is likely is focused only on hitting the ball far and not on making quality of their opposition this year, thought to be in a rebuilding stage that the balls will roll through the fairways, since they quality shots. This year, Phil has his game under con- even having won the President’s Tro- but having an incredible run. They get such gigantic bounces on the drives, and land in trol, and as a result, he has played really well in the phy for first overall position. Their would have likely challenged the the rough. From the rough, it is difficult to control the early part of the season. He went to the press confer- goaltending is, at least in theory, a big Red Wings for the top spot in the ball and land it with spin on the putting surface. ence relaxed on Tuesday, even joking about the fact question mark, as current No. 1 Cur- NHL and have played extremely True, it may seem as though the length of the that he has had no wins at Augusta before any tis Joseph is still waiting for his ankle well after a slow start. Their goal- course is suddenly shortened by these fast conditions. reporter brought up the issue. Phil can hit it long, and to mend. That leaves Manny Legace, tending is working out well, as both Players are able to get longer drives because of the he can put a ton of spin on the ball. Watch for him to with little playoff experience but Evgeni Nabokov and backup Vesa huge bounces they will receive. But upon closer be at least in contention come Saturday and Sunday. extreme dependability, to have the Toskala have shown few weakness- examination, I think that many of the better players But no matter who wins at the Masters this year, it big burden of carrying this team es collectively. will actually have the best chances of winning this will be a sad year since Arnold Palmer has said it will thrust on his shoulders. The Wings’ St. Louis managed to squeak in tournament. The course is long enough that if you be his last. After 50 years, it’s fitting to end his run success will not depend on him, how- for their 25th consecutive playoff don’t have good long iron play, you will not be able with a perfect year, at least weather wise, to bid ever; it’s all going to be up to the rest appearance, the longest such streak in to get close to the pin locations. If you can’t hit the farewell to one of golf’s most beloved legends. But of the team playing like a team and North American sports, but they did ball hard and hit it with spin, the golf ball will shoot hey, he could make the cut and decide to come back. taking the pressure off. As they found it without their captain Al MacInnis right through the green, and if there are a lot of front It could happen. That’s what’s great about the Mas- out last year, the one possibility that and sophomore sensation Barret pin placements, very long putts or chips could be the ters. You never know what is going to happen. Espe- threatens that is a hot goaltender. Jackman manning the blue line. result. cially not on the back nine, come Sunday afternoon. Is Tomas Vokoun, the Nashville netminder, that threat? I doubt it; Thomas, Page 19 Got News? Let The Tech know! [email protected]