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Journey ORBITAL Planet www.efanzines.com she was promising herself to, Sim took care to add his surname. “There are a lot of Jameses in the room,” she whispered by way of explanation when the registrar smiled, “I want to make sure I get the right one!” The registrar thanked us all for mak- ing the wedding ceremony such a happy one and stated that it had been a pleasure to perform. The party was a great time, the buffet was lavish and the venue was well chosen, but for the distance. It was a great day until we came to leave, and for once the meat of the fanzine article is best placed in the journey. That night, I was staying at James and Si- monÈ’s home in Croydon while they spent the pre- Welcome to Journey Planet, the zine honeymoon night in a central London hotel. This being presented by Chris and James. What’s was of mutual convenience because it left me able it all about? Well, I’ll let the words speak for to leave the party later, and it meant that James themselves, Let me just say that James spent Shields would be accompanied when dealing with so much time putting this all together that their dogs by someone the dogs would recognise. it was amazing to fi nally get to do the damn We were to travel in James Bacon’s car, driven by Shieldsy, taking Mick along with us to drop at his thing. hotel in Croydon. We were also taking Dani back to James’. She’s one of the YAFA kids that we’re still in touch with and Stef, upon realising she was in And now... Peter Sullivan!!! the country, insisted she come to the wedding. At I appear to hsve aquired a fannish dog. around 11.30pm it became clear that Mick would A. and I have been thinking about getting do well to be dropped at his hotel as soon as pos- a dog for a while. Oscar came into our lives two sible, having become rather tired and emotional. weeks ago. He is, of course, the most beautiful, I’d spoken to Meike earlier in the evening, wonder- intellegent and clever West Highland White terrier ing if we might fi t her into the car as she knows the of all time. route from Canary Wharf, where the party was, However, I hadn’t realised until today back to Croydon whilst we had only an A-Z to work (Eastercon Saturday) that we now have a further with. Sadly, though, given the size of James’ car fannish presence in the household. I texted A. an and the sheer distance between these points, we “enjoying myself, but missing both of you” mes- couldn’t manage a comfortable journey this way sage before the FIAWOL/FIAJAH panel. (The result and we left Meike behind. of which was, I believe, a score draw.) Checking We also left Tobes behind. Somewhere, the phone again afterwards, I had a reply “WE somehow - possibly due to a conversation with MISS U 2 LOL OSCAR.” With this level of literacy at Shieldsy - he had picked up the idea that he would just 19 weeks, can a “futuire of fandom” piece in be travelling with us. “So yeah, anywhere you can Banna Wings - or at least a Letter of Comment to drop me would be great,” he slurred enthusiasti- The Drink Tank - be far behind? cally to us. I broke the news that he wouldn’t fi t in the car and his face fell. “No, no, it’s okay,” he ===The Long Trip Home=== insisted, with a mild case of “kicked puppy” danc- by Max ing across his face. “That’s fi ne.” Then John Coxon “You can’t harm me!” shouted James Ba- stepped in, challenging him to a race to the near- con, wielding his wedding ring, “I have the Power est train station and we watched them head off of Two!” into the distance at speed while we helped Mick Looks like he’s enjoying married life so across the cobbley pedestrian zone outside the bar. far. It was a fun wedding. The ceremony, often Mick walks with a stick, usually. This eve- painfully solemn and full of trembling fi ngers and ning he was walking with a companion, another voices from the couple at the centre of the atten- companion, and somebody to hold the cane. We tion, was actually a good laugh. At the point where steered him slowly and awkwardly back to the the assembled audience was asked if we had any carpark and got into the car, bundling him into the reason why James and SimonÈ shouldn’t be mar- passenger seat and doing the old clunk-click. In ried, Stef, the best man, cast a long, hard, careful retrospect, I’m not sure that was the best of ideas, stare around the room while few of us managed to but I do recall that somebody specifi cally told me keep straight faces. Later, when naming the man “Make sure you get him strapped in well at the front, there.” to swig from. “Mick, “ I ventured, “I’m not sure While we deliberated over the map and that’s really a good idea.” I regretted not bringing along a satnav device, Mick looked confused, peered down at his Mick dozed off. It was something of a relief since drinking vessel, and held it out to me with a nod he’d spent the lead up to this continually thanking of generosity and raised eyebrows indicating that I James Shields for the lift that had been planned should take some. I declined. Then Dani declined a for a week when Stef did the car organisation. similar offer, before I declined again, this time on Shieldsy seemed reasonably confi dent that once behalf of James who, as I pointed out, was not go- we hit a main road it would all be fi ne and we’d ing to have any because he was *driving*. He was, fi nd copious signposts to follow. I was less certain at this point, much more lucid than he had been but had no time limit on arriving at our destination and he slumped into the chair and seemed to doze. so I went with the fl ow and we set off, Dani peer- Before long, he started, sat upright and began a ing at the map and James driving like a pro. It was whole new round of staring. We took to largely when Mick opened his eyes that things began to ignoring him and I watched car after car whizzing get more interesting. I wouldn’t say he woke up, it past us along the road. James announced that we was a strange state he was in - oddly lucid but not ought to be hitting Brixton any time soon but he’d quite on the same plane of reality as us. He stared, not seen many signs indicating such. glassy eyed, at James and looked for all the world My phone rang. It was Stef. After some ini- like he was concentrating in the belief that hard tial confusion over a dropped line he greeted me. enough concentration would grant him the power “Are you nearly back yet?” of telekenesis. While he stared he neither spoke Um, no... were we supposed to be? nor moved, not even to blink. It was quite disturb- “Listen, you know how you’re in James’ ing and I looked away, trying to make amiable con- car? Well when you get a moment can you check if versation and also watching the road signs fl y past, there’s a suitcase in the boot?” rarely giving us the pointers we wanted. Okaaaay. The staring without movement didn’t last “Now, it’s not completely urgent, but James but the staring didn’t cease. Instead, Mick started is going to need it by 10am tomorrow. He needs to to look around himself, still not blinking, with an repack it before they go from the hotel. It might appearance of some panic. He reached out towards not be with you, we might have it in one of the James and I intervened, thwapping his arm back other cars but I couldn’t see it when I went to into place. “Mick, don’t do that while James is mine and I don’t think Elvis switched everything driving,” I said in my best babysitter voice of kindly across when he was organising earlier. Where are authority struggling not to sound openly patronis- you up to anyway?” ing. Mick settled back down, even blinking once I explain that we think we’re near Brixton or twice. Then, from the depths of a pocket, he and we end the call with a promise that I’ll call pulled out a hip fl ask which he opened and started back when we get into the house. Shortly after- wards Mick asks if we can stop. He insists he’s all right but needs to stretch his legs, so we stop and help him out of the car, watching nervously as he totters along the curb and then returns to lean on the car. While he is leg stretching and I am worry- ing, James is looking at the map. When we regroup inside the car he points out that he believes we’ve just gone through Lewisham, which is well off our planned route, but he thinks he knows where we went wrong.

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