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Jeffrey and Deborah's THE SEUDAH-FESTIVE MEAL The Chosson and kallah adjourn to a private room for a few moments of Yichud (privacy) where they share their first meal as husband and wife. Meanwhile the guests gather at the wedding hall for the feast and celebration. The emphasis is on entertaining the newlyweds. The community expresses their joy and support for the couple by joining in the celebration and dancing for the chosson and kallah. In accordance with Jewish tradition, men and women dine and dance separately. At the end of the meal, the “Grace After Meals” is recited and the Sheva brachos are repeated. For the next seven days, the couple is entertained by friends at similar joyous gatherings. The week of sheva brachos is a custom which originates from the wedding of Jacob and Leah which lasted seven days. At each festive meal this week, the sheva brachos will again be recited. TZEDAKAH-CHARITY You will notice on the tables a pushka (charity box). Everyone is asked to give some tzedakah on behalf of the chosson and kallah. The reason for this custom is that the world was created and continues to exist only in the merit of the mitzvos of Torah, prayer, and acts of kindness. The wedding is compared to an act of creation since its the beginning of a new existence for the new couple. Therefore, it should be characterized by the observance of these three “pillars” of creation, so that the couple will merit to build a home and family based on a strong spiritual foundation, which will, G-d willing, become an everlasting edifice. The pillar of Torah was fulfilled when the chosson explained a Torah concept at the Kabbalas Panim; prayer through the brachos under the chupah; acts of kindness through the mitzvah of giving tzedakah to a worthy cause. We hope that this explanation has offered you some insight into the timelessness and holiness of a Jewish wedding. We thank you for sharing Jeffrey and Deborah’s this special night with us. Wedding Guide 9 Kislev, 5758 December 7, 1997 CHUPAH-WEDDING CEREMONY With gratitude to Hashem, we would like to welcome you to our The wedding ceremony takes place under the open sky, recalling the wedding. Marriage is considered a holy institution in Judaism and is a blessing of Abraham that his seed will be as numerous as the stars. The central part of Jewish life. This holiness is reflected in the details of the chupah (wedding canopy) represents the protection and guidance of G-d. It wedding ceremony and in the entire wedding day preceding the has also been said that the chupah represents the tent of Abraham, open consecration under the chupah (marriage canopy). on all sides to guests, permeated with love and warmth. Jewish marriage is viewed as the beginning of a new life for both the First, the two fathers escort the chosson to the chupah. The kallah is chosson (groom) and kallah (bride). In preparation for the wedding, the then escorted by the two mothers. This procession signifies the kallah’s chosson and kallah examine their past and resolve to devote their lives to transition from her parents’ home to her husband’s home. When the the building of a home on the foundation of Torah and mitzvos kallah arrives at the chupah, she and both sets of parents circle the groom (commandments). The wedding day is a private Yom Kippur, when G-d seven times. This signifies the seven times the Tefillin straps are wrapped forgives them for all of their sins and then begin as a new being. The around a man’s arm. Just as he binds himself to G-d, so is he bound in love chosson and kallah fast and ask G-d for His help in living a lifestyle in to his wife. accordance with His will. Up to this point, the chosson and kallah have been half a person. With their marriage, their souls reunite and they become whole. The ceremony KABBALAS PANIM —GREETING THE CHOSSON AND KALLAH begins with the reading of the special letter traditionally sent for the The celebration begins with the Kabbalas Panim, a reception in which occasion by the Lubavitcher Rebbe. In the letter the couple is blessed to the chosson and kallah are greeted by the guests. The bride and groom sit establish an “everlasting edifice” of marriage and to build a “faithful house in different rooms and the receptions are held separately, as the chosson of Israel”, based on the foundations of Torah and mitzvos. and kallah do not see each other for the week preceding the wedding. The ceremony itself is composed of two parts: Kedushin (betrothal) and The kallah, who is likened to a queen, is seated on a special “throne”, nesu’in (nuptial). The Kedushin begins with two benedictions. One over a where she is greeted by guests and offered their blessings. cup of wine and one pronouncing the sanctity of the personal relationship In another room, the male guests join the chosson, as he explains a of the marriage. concept in Torah. The Tena’im (betrothal agreement) is then signed, Next, the chosson places a gold band on the kallah’s right forefinger. followed by the signing of the Kesubah (Marriage contract) . After the two The ring is simple, perfectly smooth, free of engraving, design or flaw. It is documents are signed, the two mothers break a plate. There are two meant to serve as a symbol and prayer that the marriage be one of pure explanations given for breaking the plate. The first reason is that we hope beauty, truth and respect, unmarred by conflict or discord. As he places the that the engagement will be as irreversible as the breaking of the plate. ring on her finger he says in Hebrew: “ Behold, you are consecrated unto Secondly, even at the height of our joy we mourn the destruction of the me with this ring in accordance with the law of Moses and Israel”. Holy Temple in Jerusalem. The Kesubah (marriage contract) is now read aloud in its original language (Aramaic). It was written in the time of the Talmud. The BADEKEN-VEILING OF THE KALLAH Kesubah is a binding document which details the husband’s obligations to The chosson, who is compared to a king, comes forward to veil the the wife. In the Kesubah the chosson pledges to “work, honor, provide for kallah. The chosson places an opaque veil over her face, which is and support” the kallah. After its reading, it is handed over to the kallah reminiscent of our matriarch Rebecca, who covered her face as a sign of for her to keep. modesty upon encountering Isaac before their marriage. Now begins the second part, the Nesu’in, which is the recitation of the The father of the kallah then places his hands on her head and blesses Sheva Brachos (Seven Blessings) over a cup of wine. These blessings mark her. This intense moment is a time at which the Divine Presence is said to an ancient tradition of acknowledging G-d as the Creator of man and be revealed on her face and is a private time when she can turn her woman, joy and happiness, bride and groom, harmony and delight, thoughts to G-d. friendship and love. After the badeken, the chosson puts on a kittel (a white robe The final act of the ceremony is symbolic. The chosson breaks a glass traditionally worn on Yom Kippur.) This serves to remind the chosson of with his foot. This reminds us that we still mourn the destruction of the the solemnity of the day. Holy Temple, even at such a joyous time..
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