Passing on faith in the home

The family occupies a central role in the fabric of when it comes to successfully passing on God’s God’s social narrative. It is esteemed, not least, as the redemptive story. Of course, nurturing Christian context in which knowledge of God is taught and faith in the home is always with the intended goal nurtured. This can be seen in how God’s commands, that the child – accepting and embracing a living from their inception, were to be a living, visible and relationship with Jesus Christ for themselves – will tangible part of family life: ‘Keep these words that choose to stand in the living tradition of the faith. I am commanding you today in your heart. Recite However, generational dropout, declining church them to your children and talk about them when you membership and falling church attendance in the are at home and when you are away, when you lie UK point to signs of a failure in intergenerational Olwyn Mark down and when you rise. Bind them as a sign on your transmission.1 hand, fix them as an emblem[b] on your forehead, Dr Olwyn Mark is British parents generally appear to be apathetic and write them on the doorposts of your house and visiting lecturer about whether their children grow up to share their on your gates’ (Deuteronomy 6.6–9, NRSV). in Christian Ethics beliefs. Recent ComRes polling, commissioned at London School For the people of God, passing on knowledge of by the religion and society think tank Theos, of Theology, having completed God and his commands was never for the purpose revealed that only 31% of the 1,013 British parents postdoctoral of mere obedience to a list of arbitrary rules. interviewed said that they wanted their children ‘to research within Integral to transmission, from one generation to hold the same beliefs about whether or not there is the National the next, was an understanding of the meaning a God or Higher Power as me when they are older’. Institute for and purpose of God’s redemptive story. The The polling also evidenced that parents of faith Christian purpose of retelling the story was to imprint it express reluctance and anxiety in passing on their Education onto the communal consciousness, reminding beliefs to their children. Their expressed concerns Research (NICER) the people of God of his promises and faithful in passing on their faith included the fear that they at Canterbury deliverance – lest they forget. And while the Old will be unable to answer questions posed, or that Christ Church Testament recalls many failed attempts to live and as a result, their child will be alienated at school. University. She retell this story, including a narrative littered with Their greatest concern was that technology and is the author of Passing on Faith broken and dysfunctional family relationships, the social media would have a greater impact on their (Theos, 2016). family unit continued to be used by God to tell his child’s future beliefs than they would. The polling story and fulfil his redemptive purposes. also evidenced an apparent indifference shown by Christian parents towards the spiritual outcomes Failure in intergenerational of their children, with 28% of church attenders not transmission minding whether their children shared their beliefs.2 It would seem that twenty-first century Christian There are also indications that recounting the families are facing their own unique challenges biblical story is being neglected in Christian

21 Transmission Spring 2017

homes. Research carried out by YouGov for Bible Indeed, ‘forcing’ on children unevidenced religious NOTES Society in 2014 showed that almost a third (30%) beliefs is deemed by popular secularists to be 1. A finding from of Christian parents say that they never read Bible morally problematic – at worst, abusive. However, the Church of stories to their children. Indeed, 7% do not think Smith’s observations and conclusions clearly affirm England’s Church that their child, aged three or over, has ever read, that no home is neutral. Growth Research seen or heard any Bible stories. This is in spite Nevertheless, we should not underestimate Programme Report of the fact that the vast majority of the parents (2014), for example, the power of this secular narrative on parents’ revealed that half themselves experienced the biblical story in their of the children of own childhood and adolescence.3 churchgoing parents quality relationships are do not attend as The enduring influence of parents adults. central to successful faith In examining this generational decline, questions 2. O Mark, Passing on invariably arise over how children can be more transmission Faith (London: Theos, 2016), pp. 7, 8. successfully integrated into the family of faith, and attention inevitably turns to the home, in light 3. Bible Society, of its biblical mandate and its social significance. Pass it On Research motivation and practices. It may in fact account for Report (February Issues of concern include whether parents have the 16% of parents polled in the Theos research who 2014), p. 22. lost confidence in sharing faith with their children, felt that by passing on their beliefs to their children, 4. C Smith and and, if so, what reasons might account for this; or they ‘may be doing something ethically wrong’. ML Denton, Soul perhaps the social significance of the home has Challenging this narrative is essential to recognising Searching: The simply decreased and parents – in spite of their and reclaiming the enduring influence that parents Religious and best (or worst) efforts – are simply ineffective in the have on the faith outcomes of their children. Spiritual Lives of face of other social and cultural forces. American Teenagers (New York: Oxford In responding to these particular concerns, our Social learning in the home University Press, earlier statistics would seem to indicate that there In responding to this trend of generational 2005), p. 56. is a confidence issue to be addressed. However, dropout, questions also arise as to whether there 5. D Oman, ‘Spiritual when it comes to questions over whether the social is evidence of ‘best practice’ that can be learnt Modeling and the significance of the home is diminishing, evidence around how to more successfully pass on faith. Social Learning of Spirituality and gathered by social scientists over the past 40 years These questions are not directly concerned with Religion’, in KI would clearly refute this. Parents and the family the theological framework that gives meaning and Pargament (ed.), instead remain pivotal to the spiritual outcomes motivation to faith transmission. Instead, they are APA Handbook of of their children. Detailed academic studies, heavily focussed on the social context of the home, Psychology, Religion, concerned with understanding young people’s and observing and describing ways and means and Spirituality, Volume 1: Context, association with religion, show that young people’s by which beliefs and practices might be more Theory and Research self-reported faith identity is still strongly located in successfully transmitted. (Washington, the family. The family continues to provide a strong Social science tells us that no child is immune DC: American sense of relational and religious belonging, and from the social learning that takes place in the Psychological young people will still choose to remain in general Association, 2013), home. According to the Social Learning Theory, conformity with the values of their parents. pp. 189, 190. this happens through both ‘observational learning’ 6. JKA Smith, You Christian Smith’s findings from the National Study of (retention and replication of knowledge) and Are What You Love: Youth and Religion (NSYR) in the USA, for example, ‘spiritual modelling’ (shaping of behaviours and The Spiritual Power of emphatically confirmed the ongoing influence of attitudes), and is directed through four main Habit (Grand Rapids: parents: ‘For better or worse, most parents in fact processes: attention, retention, reproduction Brazos Press, 2016), p. 127. still do profoundly influence their adolescents – and motivation. In the Christian home, this social often more than do their peers – their children’s learning might look something like this: attention 7. For example, apparent resistance and lack of appreciation is given to the reading of scripture, and retention studies among university students notwithstanding. This influence often also includes is encouraged through regularly repeating in Canada and parental influence in adolescents’ religious and this practice; in addition, Christian character is Australia have noted spiritual lives. Simply by living and interacting modelled and reproduced, and, through mutual that respondents with their children, most parents establish encouragement within and outside of the home, who recalled a expectations, define normalcy, model life practices, the motivation is provided to repeat these greater emphasis on religion within set boundaries and make demands – all of which attitudes and practices. cannot help but influence teenagers, for good or ill.’4 their childhood Importantly, the theory of social learning, when homes were more likely to identify with Smith’s sociological observations suggest that understood in light of faith transmission, shows the religion of their passing on ‘faith’ in the home is, in effect, a given. us that it is not just about the head knowledge parents. Parents’ values, attitudes, beliefs and practices will that is passed on. It is also about the knowledge inevitably shape the environment of the home and of the story that is embedded in the narrative and influence the children and young people within embodied in the practices of the home. In light of it. Such an account challenges the popular script this, James Smith encourages us to be concerned which suggests that ‘secular’ homes promote with the ‘ethos of our households – the unspoken rational ‘neutrality’ while religious ones don’t. “vibe” carried in our daily rituals’. Doing so would

22 Spring 2017 more fully embrace an holistic understanding of Along with the quality of the relationships in the the learning of faith that takes place in the home; home, the quality and consistency of the practices NOTES this learning is not just about the information that in the home make a significant difference to 8. C Stonehouse, is passed on, but is as much about the routines and spiritual outcomes.7 As we have already noted, Joining Children on day-to-day practices that occupy the household. theories around social learning indicate that the Spiritual Journey: As he suggests: ‘You could have Bible “inputs” every modelling is key, and parents need to ‘be’ and Nurturing a Life of Faith (Grand Rapids: day and yet still have a household whose frantic ‘do’ what they want their child to become. Also, BridgePoint Book, rhythms are humming along with the consumerist where parental unity is evidenced – in both the 1998), p. 63. myth of production and consumption. You might marital relationship and in shared beliefs and 9. LO Richards, have Bible verses on the wall in every room of the practices – this has a positive impact on faith Children’s Ministry: house and yet the unspoken rituals reinforce self- transmission, as noted, for example, in the stronger Nurturing Faith centeredness rather than sacrifice.’6 impact of two churchgoing parents. The shared within the Family of faith commitment of both parents is seen to God (Grand Rapids: Passing on faith: What makes a strengthen family bonds and contribute positively Zondervan, 1983), p. 274. difference? to a child’s well-being and development. Divorce and separation, on the other hand, is strongly When it comes to best practice, it is possible associated with religious disaffiliation to evidence through research factors in the home that correlate with an adolescent or adult It can be evidenced that the outworking of faith successfully retaining the religious beliefs and in the family provides a stabilising influence in practices of their parents. As such, successful the home; a greater emphasis on religion leads to transmission is often ‘measured’ using indicators more cohesive family relationships and the stability of shared affiliations, attitudes and values, beliefs of beliefs and practices of adolescents. Catherine and practices between parent and offspring, e.g. Stonehouse reminds us that, ‘foundations for faith church attendance. are being laid through the everyday interactions of children and adults.’8 Also, the spiritual formation The Theos report, Passing on Faith, assimilated that takes place in the home is not just one-way; the findings of 54 published studies, which parents accompany children on their spiritual together point to key characteristics of family life journey as they themselves live out and are formed and the practice of faith therein that contribute on their own. to successful transmission. What we know from studies in child development and well-being in The simple things general is that it is within secure, loving, attentive and stable family environments that children Beyond the mandate to do so, there are no sure- flourish. Spiritual flourishing is also evidenced in fire ‘steps to success’ when it comes to passing on the same type of environment. faith. As with every other human endeavour in the journey of discipleship, what we do affirm is It is unsurprising therefore that quality relationships that nothing is beyond the scope of God’s grace. are central to successful faith transmission. Parent- Yet when it comes to the nurturing of faith in the child relationships that are close, affirming and family, Lawrence Richards reminds us of the ‘simple accepting – between both the mother and the child things’ – incorporated into the pattern of family and the father and the child – have a positive impact life – that are important: ‘Where there is love that on faith transmission. The frequency and quality communicates belonging, a respect that invites of parent-child communication and interactions participation, a sharing that facilitates modeling, also influences future religiosity. A young person common activities that demand Christian who feels close to their parents is less likely to leave interpretation of life, and a trust that encourages or switch religion. Accordingly, relationships that responsible choice, there is a relational context in are secure and stable – with evidence of strong which faith can be born, and grow, and flower.’ 9 childhood attachment – are shown to affect the long-term stability of religious beliefs. Research There may appear to be nothing ground-breaking also points to particular types of relationships that about these insights; it may indeed be understood are noted to be significant, e.g. the influence and as a very normal and natural part of family life. Yet impact of grandparents. these simple things take at least the investment of time and relational commitment that ensures In a similar vein, the style of parenting makes a that faith is not a family ‘add-on’, but the fulcrum difference to the spiritual outcomes of children. around which family relationships, rituals and Authoritative parenting, it would seem, is practices revolve. Exercising them also involves more conducive to religious transmission than guarding hearts and homes from being shaped authoritarian or permissive parenting. This is by pervading secular narratives. Instead, children’s where the exercise of discipline and control heart orientations – as well as their parents’ – are is accompanied by warmth, nurture and to be shaped by the counternarrative of God’s responsiveness. This echoes the emphasis in the redemptive story. New Testament on Christian formation in the home being done through reasoned discipline and instruction (Ephesians 6.4).

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