Healthy Personality Session 1 Tony Picchioni, Ph.D. 3-Session Agenda 2
Session 1 (Monday, June 15th) Introduction Part 1: Interpersonal Relationships
Session 2 (Wednesday, June 17th) Part 2: Ego Control Part 3: Personality Traits Integration
Session 3 (Friday, June 19th) Part 4: Self-Actualization Part 5: Social Contribution Part 6: Tips for Healthy Personality Part 7: Wrap Up 3
Introduction 4 What is Healthy Personality? A review of the literature shows that the following traits are most frequently found in 5 the writing of authors who have systematically studied healthy personality. 1. Adequate self-regard 2. Feelings of security 3. Self-knowledge 4. Long-range purposes 5. Accurate perception of social reality 6. Capacities to relate to others 7. Ability to satisfy group expectations 8. Self-actualization 9. Adaptability 10. A meaningful philosophy of life 11. Competence in dealing with reality demands 12. Unity of personality 13. Spontaneity 14. Personal identity 15. Capacities for sexual gratification 16. Reasonable sensitivity 17. Concern for welfare of others Life Affecting Healthy Personality of Next Generations 6
Carlos Lozada, Washington Post, Oct. 1, 2015
Everyone talking about how we never talk anymore.
Andrea Diaz, CNN, Oct. 30, 2018 Generation Z reported the most mental health problems, and gun violence is the biggest stressor. 7
“Now there are times when the whole generation is caught… between two ages, two modes of life, with the consequence that it loses all power to understand itself and have no standards, no security, no simple acquiescence.” - Herman Hesse Impatient World 8
Survey shows that an average person grows frustrated after waiting 16 seconds for a webpage to load, 25 seconds for traffic signal to change. A survey of 2,000 British adults show that all of the luxuries of modern life have made most people incredibly impatient — across every aspect of their lives. Three quarters of those surveyed said they believe the dominance of digital technology, such as smartphones, internet, and on-demand TVs, are to blame for this ever growing lack of patience. What about you? Have your healthy personality taken a hit from the digital world? Psychological Aliveness 9 The list of healthy personality traits often are based on over-idealized conception of healthy personality. Under some conditions the behavioral opposites of the traits listed are equally important – holistic conceptions rather than specific behaviors.
Until quite recently, it has been those individuals in the upper levels of healthy personality who have been least studied by behavioral scientists.
Healthy personality must be conceived, not as a static condition, but in terms of growth principles. It is characterized by psychological aliveness, not smugness, boredom, defeatism, rigidity, and indifference. Psychological Maturity 10
One's value to others can never be explained simply in terms of his/her individual traits. Maturity is not measured by a set of traits, The explanation always lies in the it is an approach quality of interactions between his/her personal assets and skills on to living as expressed the one hand and the desires and through the quality expectations of a particular group on the other. of social interaction.
We must look at the individual and the situation. Psychological Well-being… 11 Carol Ryff, created a scale of psychological well-being that measures six facets:
1. Self-acceptance 2. Environmental mastery 3. Positive relations 4. Purpose in life 5. Personal growth 6. Autonomy
Take the Ryff scale test here… http://www.globalharmonycrew.com/test/ry ffs-psychological-wellbeing-test/ Psychological Benefits
12 Positive emotions help us build psychological resources…
1. Less anxiety 4. Self confident 2. Lower levels of depression 5. Resilience 3. Hopeful in outlook 6. Proactive and solution-focused Positive Self Test… 13
Part 1: Interpersonal Relationships Recap of Harvard’s 75-Yr Study 14
What Makes a Good Life?
Loneliness is a killer. 1 in 5 Americans report that they are lonely. Isolated people have faster declining health, are less happy, and live shorter lives. Socially connected people live longer and healthier lives. The quality of your relationships matters – effecting your brain health directly. Good and close relationships buffer us from trials and tribulations of daily life. Good relationships keep us happier and healthier. Positive and Reciprocal Interaction Between Self and Others 15 1. Higher level people want all that life has to offer from physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual sources.
2. He subscribes to the principle that you can have all good things only if you want all good things instead of just a few.
3. The fact that he wants everything means that he will work out some balance to make room for many satisfactions. A few will have paramount importance. May deny some temporarily in order to seek a goal. This is positive selfishness.
4. One of the most severe blocks to psychological maturity is the introjection (opposite of projection) of persistent guilt feelings over normal desires for ego satisfactions and over aggressive and sexual impulses.
5. High quality relatedness to others is conditioned on positive relatedness to oneself.
6. An individual's self-structure is not something that emerges from within his own psyche; it is not innate; it is not something that is there to be discovered or released; rather it is created by millions of interactions between the child's constitutional potentials and a responsive environment. The Environment 16 Harlow shows that psychological qualities appear dependent on environment:
1. Incentive to learn
2. Interest in peer associates
3. Curiosity
4. Self-identity
5. Courage
6. Love Healthy Personality do not have to choose between being "inner directed" and "outer directed." Most of them have achieved a good integration of both. The Self 17 But, "Where is your self?" Self is only found in interactions with others.
The statement "if you would have friends, be one" is only a half truth. Many people are friendly enough but they are very weak in offering others a stimulating personality.
Stimulate
Inspire We must achieve this in order to develop a strong self. Amuse
Support Direct Teaching & Experiences 18 From the standpoint of personality theory it seems that the chief reason why our most mature people are superior to our least mature in being characterized by many more different kinds of psychological functioning is that they have had more direct teaching and particularly more experiences that have stimulated growth in all aspects of their personalities.
Multiple motivations Complex life Spontaneous Nature of Mature Relatedness 19 A healthy personality response to others springs from spontaneity, not from a compulsion to be liked or from a sense of inferiority.
He also wants and enjoys privacy; under some circumstances he likes to "go it alone.”
The more mature a person is, the more his interpersonal affiliations are characterized by purely expressive, as opposed to coping, motivations. Acceptance and Equality 20 On a strictly personal basis healthy personality respond to and accept another individual as he is, as opposed to approaching him with motivations to change, educate, or improve him in some way. They know that, regardless of degree of sincerity, such motivations may easily destroy interpersonal rapport unless these corrective efforts are asked for and unless both parties are ego- involved in expecting to receive reciprocal benefits.
Finally, mature interpersonal attraction must be between people who regard each other as equals on a personal basis, even though they may be unequal in other ways. This is necessary before both the individuals involved can receive ego-enhancing values from their relationships; this is also why a mature interpersonal affiliation cannot be attained when one individual approaches another with predominant attitudes of obligation, sympathy, feeling sorry for him, or trying to rescue him from a bad situation. Relationships 21 Healthy personality do not accept sexual promiscuity as a way of life because they want not only sex, but love and depth of feeling relationships with an opposite or same sex person. Conformity vs. Individuality 22 These people are strongly characterized by introjection (opposite of projection) of basic values but are not compulsively conforming or rigidly adaptive.
Highs Lows . Wide range of flexibility . Trait-dominated and/or according to their situation dominated assessment of each situation Exercise: Deposits in Your Relationships… 23 The emotional bank account is a metaphor for the amount of trust that exists in your relationships. Just as you make deposits and withdrawals from normal bank accounts, you make emotional deposits and withdrawals with your relationships.
. Get in groups. Deposits Withdrawals . Share with each other what deposits and Keep promises Break promises withdrawals you have made lately at work or at Be kind and courteous Be unkind and home and how those discourteous transactions have Be loyal Be disloyal; bad-mouth affected your relationships. Listen Don’t listen . Be ready to share if you Apologize Be arrogant are willing to do so. Set clear expectations Create false expectations Healthy Personality Session 2 Tony Picchioni, Ph.D. 25 3-Session Agenda
Session 2 (Wednesday, June 17th) Part 2: Ego Control Part 3: Personality Traits Integration
Session 3 (Friday, June 19th) Part 4: Self-Actualization Part 5: Social Contribution Part 6: Tips for Healthy Personality Part 7: Wrap Up 26
Part 2: Ego Control Ego Strength 27 Ego strength – this term includes all those resources with which a person endeavors to cope with his environment. One of the attributes of ego strength is that a person has sufficient security- feelings to be able to assess his own strengths and weaknesses with at least a fair degree of accuracy and an even greater degree of honesty. To do so obviously means that the person has considerable self-insight and, conversely, a low degree of ego-defensiveness. All influences that promote feelings of personal security and honesty of communication contribute to greater capacities for insight into one's own self structure. The more insecure a person becomes, the more he is threatened by other people; and the more defensive he becomes, the less he can accurately perceive his own motivations and those of others. More on Ego Strength 28 Ego strength is manifested:
1. Initiative
2. Daring
3. Self-assurance
4. Self-acceptance
5. Emotional Intelligence Syndrome of Reciprocating Effects
29 Syndrome of reciprocating effects – self- understanding and understanding of others are complementary. One sees more clearly his own image in the mirror of the social exchange. A high level of self-insight correlates with a good understanding of others.
Our selves do not simply spring up from within us but are due to social interactions from birth to maturity.
There is no evidence from studies of individuals that most of our mature people are extreme in revealing themselves, even to their most intimate associates. It does not follow that more and more self-revelation will promote proportionally greater degrees of psychological health. The self-structure of the mature person is not transparent; he does not "wear his heart on his sleeve." Maturity 30 Mature people are characterized by good mood control when they are depressed, discouraged, hostile, or plagued by nagging doubt and inner struggles. They seldom interject these subjective states into their interpersonal relationships, especially with those who are not directly involved in a problem or who could not be expected to offer any constructive assistance.
Does not expect his friends to be responsible for his problems.
Not an emotional burden to others. Regression in the Service of Ego 31 Yet under certain circumstances he can cut loose and tell off someone he thinks "has it coming to him." Also, he can cry without being ashamed of it, can show sincerity and depth of affection for another person. His emotional responses vary from highly controlled to very spontaneous, depending on his perception of a situation and his relationship to the particular people involved.
Can even engage in childish behavior- act silly, express aggression, act on impulse, do nothing and do it gracefully, relate spontaneously to almost anyone contacted, and have fun. This kind of behavior is often referred to as "regression in the service of the ego." A really strong ego can stand to be stretched. Life Keeps Life Going
32 After describing a number of very complex unlearned behaviors in lower animals, Dr. Albert Szent-Gyongyi asked how all these intricate developments could come about. He answers his own questions by saying, “I am unable to approach this problem without supposing an innate drive in living matter to perfect itself."
He continues by stressing the fact that whereas the nonliving is worn out by use, the living is improved and developed by it. Life keeps life going, building up and improving itself, while inactivity makes it go to pieces.
Kurt Goldstein has for many years held that the drive to maintain the integrity of the organism is a transcendental drive. He named this sovereign motive self-actualization or self- realization. “The tendency to actualize itself is the motive which sets the organism going; it is the drive by which the organism is moved." Importance of Self-Actualization 33 The psychological thesis, that capacities are needs, asserts that the presence of a capacity makes a particular kind of need inevitable. An organism that has the capacity for learning, for loving, or for self-assertion has at the same time a need to learn, to love, and to be assertive. If these needs are denied or frustrated on a low level, as they often are, the organism is denied the completion of his potentials.
It seems certain that the most overall characteristic of healthy people is that they are doing better than most people in realizing all aspects of their being. They are working with and for their innate potentials. Exercise: Ego in the Workplace 34 Get into groups
Have you come across individuals or groups that projects ego in the workplace – without revealing names?
What was the effect on other people around these individuals or groups?
Please share if you are ok with the examples. 35
Part 3: Integration of Personality Traits 36 Big Five Personality Traits 1. Openness
Open to experience High Openness Intellectual curiosity Unpredictability Creativity Lack of focus Preference for Novelty Imaginative Low Openness Independent Pragmatic Divergent thinking Data-driven Creativity Dogmatic
Openness took off in the 80’s. Lots of research - consistent to the point that “it approaches the status of law” 2. Conscientiousness
Efficient Too High Organized Stubborn Aim for achievement Obsessive Planned Behavior Too Low Tirelessly Persistent Overly Spontaneous Easy-going Sloppy Careless 3. Extraversion
Outgoing Too High Energetic Attention-Seeking Positive Emotions Domineering Feels Alive Assertive Too Low Seek Stimulation Aloof Talkative Self-Absorbed 4. Agreeableness
Friendly Too High Compassionate Naive Cooperative Submissive Well-Tempered Too Low Interpersonal Sensitivity Competitive Modest Challenging Argumentative
Possible relationship between agreeableness and leadership is ambiguous. 5. Neuroticism
Sensitive Too High The tendency to experience Unconcerned unpleasant emotions easily Vulnerability Too Low Emotional Stability Highly Reactive Impulse Control Emotionally Excitable Stable and Calm Self-Esteem Effective Integration of Traits 42
Healthy Personality people are shown to be characterized by an effective integration of many traits that are so often presented as opposites. Instead of a list of traits, the emphasis is on… 1. Trait-syndromes 2. Their interrelationships 3. Their constant modification according to the interpersonal dynamics of situations (the stimulus pattern presented by varying situations)
Atomistic Approach Holistic Approach
Individual traits trait-syndromes + interrelationship + dynamics of situation
Trait Trait Trait Trait Maturity and Immaturity The more mature a person is, the more she can make an objective assessment of 43 each situation she is in and react to it according to her perception of what is called for. She has quick adaptability and considerable spontaneity in responding to the moment. By contrast, the more immature a person is, the more she is likely to respond to all situations primarily on the basis of subjective conditions within herself. She is trait dominated.
Low High Strong prejudice Exercising initiative
Compulsive neurotic needs Open to experience
Efforts were egocentric Democratic attitudes
Influence by others
Can learn as well as teach
A follower as well as a leader Traits 44 The possession of a trait by an individual carries no certain implications as to its psychological worth unless the interactional qualities of his behavior in particular situations are known.
Low Normal High Normal
One Trait Initiative Accepting initiative Dominated Aggression Sympathy Self-assertion Cooperation Leadership Following Healthy Personality Session 3 Tony Picchioni, Ph.D. 46 3-Session Agenda
Session 3 (Friday, June 19th) Part 4: Self-Actualization Part 5: Social Contribution Part 6: Tips for Healthy Personality Part 7: Wrap Up 47
Part 4: Actualization Self-actualization is a Process 48 Maslow in Motivation and Personality: Even if all these needs were satisfied, we may still often expect that a new discontent and restlessness will soon develop, unless the individual is doing what he is fitted for. What a man can be, he must be. This need we may call self- actualization. AIIport stresses continuing growth: "By growth motives we refer to the hold that ideals gain upon the process of development.” Rogers writes about the fully functioning person: "The growth tendency is what all psychotherapy depends on. The urge to expand, extend, become autonomous, develop and mature.” The point must also be stressed that self- actualization should not be thought of as a condition to be reached but rather as a continuous process until death. Self- actualizing is the preferred term. Persistent Disequilibrium
49 There is a persistent disequilibrium as a basic source of meaning and significance in living, especially in our high level people.
Seek out challenges. Commit themselves to difficult goals. Sense deep personal satisfaction in their efforts.
These commitments mean some degree of persistent disequilibrium in their energy systems - tension states that may never be entirely resolved. Psychologically mature people enjoy tension reduction but they also seek tension arousal.
Thrive on doubts. Intriguing and unanswered questions. New horizons. Courage to Dare 50 They have the courage to dare to be what they can become.
Not awed by risks – but fascinated by them.
They know: Risk translates to Challenge that translates to Growth
One of the most consistent findings from all the studies on psychologically mature people is that they are characterized most of the time by buoyancy of mood. This statement is supported particularly by Bonney's finding that one of the few traits showing a high level of discrimination between the highs and the lows on both self-ratings and ratings made by two independent raters was the trait Enjoyment of Life. Self-actualizing Needs 51 Self-actualizing needs are the most powerful overall human motivations.
By and large one part of themselves is not fighting or denying another part; they are much better integrated in their total growth patterns.
It is the optimistic grasping for the future, this continual utilization and stretching of one's capacities, that is the most essential condition for good personal morale. Enabling Others
According to the University of Chicago survey a person's overall level of happiness 52 cannot be predicted from knowing his absolute level of either happiness or unhappiness. Rather, attention must be focused on the relative strengths of his positive and negative feelings. A person who has some strong sources of positive feelings can carry considerable unhappiness without becoming depressed or demoralized, while another person who lacks positive sources of strength feels overall discouragement from relatively small degrees of unhappiness. The most important relationships with others in order to win favorable responses from them are those that directly or indirectly enable those contacted to move toward greater actualization of some or all of their potentials. A: Individual who is motivated to make the most of himself maximize his abilities B: Promoting similar kinds of growth in others
1
2
He (A) stimulates them (B) to respond to him with attitudes of liking, appreciation and admiration. Persistent Disequilibrium 53 The more a person is helped on both personal and achievement planes, as contrasted with only one of these, the more she is likely to respond favorably to the individual who is the source of stimulation. Jourard has made the point that the psychologically mature person must have a feeling of freedom; she must be aware that she is making choices and is taking a responsible role in directing her life. Jourard's main point is that the feeling of freedom is more crucial than the objective amount, since it is well known that many neurotics have at their disposal more objective freedom than they have courage to use. Freedom is possible only for those with considerable ego strength.
1. Ego strength Mutually 2. Self-actualization interdependent 3. Personal freedom 54 Exercise: Self-Actualization
Get into groups of 2. Share with your partner, your thoughts, on whether you have reach, at times in your life, self-actualization. If you have not reach self- actualization, what do you think is holding you back? If you are willing to share with the group, please do. 55
Part 5: Social Contribution 56 Video on Social Contribution to Social Good…
Creativity for Good Social Contribution
57 Social contribution is the evaluation of one’s social value.
It includes the belief that one is a vital member of society, with something of value to give to the world.
It resembles the concepts of efficacy and responsibility. Self-efficacy is the belief that one can perform certain behaviors and can accomplish specific objectives.
It is also a designation of personal obligations that contributes to society. Valued by Society
58 Social contribution reflects whether, and to what degree, people feel that whatever they do in the world is valued by society and contributes to society.
Older adults, specifically at midlife, is when they can act on their desire to contribute to society by molding the next generation into productive members of society – for example, by mentoring the younger generation. Social Well-Being
59 Social well-being is affected by social structures that people grew up in. Social stratification are prominent structural aspects of life and is the source of social health and well-being.
Young adults that have the means to attain higher education experience higher earnings and learn to socialize with the people they meet within their work life. In contrast, young adults that are in lower socioeconomic status and have no means of educational attainment have been linked consistently to diminished physical and mental health. Social Integration
60 People with healthy personality feel socially integrated, close to and deriving comfort from others in their community and should feel that they live in a vital and healthy place.
Socially integrated individuals see their neighbors as trustworthy and their neighborhoods as safe.
People with healthy personality are also likely to volunteer to maintain their community because they feel their actions will be valued by others and because they wan to maintain the quality of life of the community.
People who see life as socially coherent also see that their private life is coherent. Reinforcing Your Social Contribution Things you can do to reinforce social contribution: 61 Relationships: the single-most important variable that “very happy” people had was good social relationships with other people. Relationships are an important, and perhaps the most important, source of life satisfaction and emotional well- being. Respect, value, and encourage positive, healthy, and respectful relationships. Promote strong family values and ties. Spirituality: a sense of spirituality strongly correlates to a life well-lived. This relationship between happiness and taking a “big picture” view of life is born out in research across gender, age, religion, and nationality. Be free to follow your individual spiritual paths and hold your beliefs without fear of retribution. Engage in spiritual practice that is beneficial to both individuals and society. Strengths: researchers have found that when we use our strengths, skills, resources, and abilities, we feel in touch with our “true selves”—we experience a sense of energy and function at optimal levels. Be open to discover your strengths and develop and train those strengths. Be ready to apply your strengths to improve your well-being and contribute to society. 62 Social Contribution Summary
Life is divided into private and public sides, each making its own demands and producing its own consequences. Healthy personality involves a social dimension that affects individual well-being. Society is a source of variation in social wellness. Social well-being increase with education and is affected by socioeconomic standing. Social community involvement supports the achievement of a well-lived life. People with healthy personality are happy and healthy people. Happy people live longer and enjoy a greater quality of life. They function at a higher level, utilizing their relationships, spiritual beliefs, and personal strengths to contribute to their own well-being as well as that of others and society. 63 Exercise: Social Contribution
Get into groups Share with your group… Do you believe that you are socially contributing while you work at the City? if yes, how is it a social contribution? If no, how is it not a social contribution? Do you believe that your work contributes or not contributes to your healthy personality? Share with the class. 64
Part 6: Tips for Healthy Personality 65 Seven Habits for Healthy Personality
1. Stress Management a. “Chronic stress causes wear and tear on the body, and over time, leads to a host of negative outcomes throughout the body, such as decreased immune functioning.” - Dr. Vranceanu, Massachusetts General Hospital b. If you are feeling stress more than you used to, consider seeing a counselor to help you identify the sources of stress in your life and the strategies to best manage them. c. Learning relaxation strategies, such as mediation and breathing techniques, will also help. 66 Seven Habits for Healthy Personality
2. Sleep a. Sleep is a building block of good mental and physical health. Having a healthy sleep routine and reducing screen time and stress before bed will help you rejuvenate daily. b. What is a healthy sleep routine? • No caffeine late in the day, and no alcohol right before bed • Making sure your bedroom is cool and dark and that your mattress and pillow are comfortable • Getting out of bed and doing something quietly if you are unable to fall asleep within 20 minutes of turning out the light 67 Seven Habits for Healthy Personality
3. Physical Activity a. The American Heart Association and other medical organizations recommend getting 150 minutes of aerobic activity every week. b. ”Regular aerobic exercise benefits the brain on multiple fronts, ranging from molecular to behavioral levels.” – Dr. Vranceanu c. If you feel you can’t find the time to exercise, look at your schedule to see where you can implement longer blocks of activity and also how you can decrease sedentary time by engaging in small bouts of activity throughout the day. d. Remember, those 150 minutes can be reached 10 minutes at a time. 68 Seven Habits for Healthy Brain & Personality 4. Nutrition a. The first question you should ask is, “How are you feeding your brain?” Remember that what you eat does not only affect your waistline. b. To foster that healthy personality, your brain relies on a steady supply of nutrients to keep working optimally. c. Proteins, vitamins B1, B9 and C, as well as minerals, such as zinc, calcium and magnesium, are all key to keeping your brain healthy. d. Take a look at the U.S. Dept. of Agriculture guidelines ChooseMyPlate.gov 69 Seven Habits for Healthy Personality
5. Substance and Medication Use a. Taking your medication as prescribed and while avoiding or reducing certain unhealthy substances can have huge impacts to the health of your brain. b. “The majority of Americans who take prescription medications struggle with following instructions.” – Dr. Vranceanu c. Understanding the motivations for substance use such as alcohol, tobacco, sugar, etc… can also lead to efforts to reduce and eliminate these substances from your life. d. If you have concerns about your substance use, have an honest conversation with your doctor. 70 Seven Habits for Healthy Personality
6. Social Relationships a. A growing body of research supports the idea that your cognitive and emotional health – promoting healthy personality – depends on a strong, supportive social network. b. As we age, our social circles tend to change because milestones like retirement can decrease our opportunities for socialization. c. Building a social network can be done by making friendships around hobbies or healthy lifestyles. 71 Seven Habits for Healthy Personality
7. Building Brain Reserve a. This is common advice: Keep your mind occupied and challenged everyday. b. Here are some activities to keep your brain challenged:
• Playing logic and math puzzles • Learning a new language • Playing a musical instrument or learning how to play one • Traveling • Reading challenging novels, non-fictions books and articles • Taking up a new hobby, such as chess, painting, scrapbooking or gourmet cooking • Diving into culture with museum and theater outings 72
Part 7: Wrap Up Recommended Reading
73 74 Final Thoughts
Differentiation cannot take place in a vacuum. It has to take place in relations to others. - Murray Bowen