Playing with the three of h e arts... Claes Oldenburg would be r * a proud... O A may ß — may 21st Century? story, page 4 A •NASTY JACK and the Ska-casians will perform at Toes Tavern downtown •CREATURE FEATURE, Rugburn, Decline of Paisley John Shaver and Debris Stream will perform at the Anaconda S a t u r d a y •A HOT NEW BLUEGRASS BAND, as yet -.unnamed, will debut at the Bluebird Cafe at 8 p.m. The band will include former Cache Valley Drifters Wally Barnick, Bill Griffin and David West and former Acousticat Mike Mullins. •POETRY READING by the winners of the Second Annual Santa Barbara Poetry Festival contest at the Bluebird Cafe, 8:15 p.m. •DAMAGE, the Louis Malle film about a Parliamentarian who has a torrid affair with his son's girlfriend; Campbell Hall, 8 p.m. tuesday •STEPHANIE HEYL, an artist teaching in the College of Creative Studies this quarter, will talk about her work; Building 494, Room 136, 4 p.m. W e d n e s d a y •UCSB JAZZ ENSEMBLE will perform the music of Duke Ellington, Miles Davis and others; Music Bowl7— noon----- 2 A Thursday, May 6,1993 ARTSWEEK Daily Nexui LAW OFFICES 2 12” Cheese OF RAYMOND J. PULVERMAN Pizzas If you have been involved $ 9 " + tax in a bicycle, motorcycle or PI ZZ A (extra cost for different toppings) auto accident, you should know your legal rights presents... regarding personal injury, THE FAR SIDE By GARY LARSON $ property damage & accident 1 co claims. Experienced Personal Injury Lawyer. NO FEE, INITIAL CONSULTATION. PHONE (805) 962-0397 Three hearts, two couples - not a good combination. The Threesome to See > It seemed as if only foreign filmmakers Connie had just dumped her first ho­ dealt with interesting, provocative sub­ mosexual relationship. (She’s bisexual.) ject matter, that is, until a money-hungry Gender preference is only important in Hollywood studio would capitalize on this film as Car as it creates suspense as to the original’s success with a remake, lack­ who will end up with who. But whether a ing the courage to produce daring films in woman sleeps with a woman or a man the first place. sleeps with a woman doesn’t really mat­ Dare I say that the enthralling L a ter. In T h ree o f H earts, sexuality is an ex- Femme Nikita and its sorry sister, P o in t iression of love between two people. If of No Return as well as The Return of Íove exists then there is nothing exploitive Martin Guerre and its Americanized about its expression — homosexual, equal S om m ersby would exemplify this heterosexual or whatever. phenomena. Refreshingly witty, funny The film mostly deals with how Ellen and a joy to watch, Three of Hearts freaks out after stewing on her feelings of breaks through the curtain of juvenile abandonment. She hires a male escort to prudity that surrounds most American win Connie’s heart and then dump her, tales to present the story of a lesbian rela­ thus sending Connie running back to the tionship’s breakup. security of her relationship with Ellen. William Baldwin, Kelly Lynch and In addition to the main performances, Sherilyn Fenn all deliver in this film. the colorful minor characters that move Baldwin is a male prostitute and a phone around in the film’s background are sex worker with the ability to seduce — worth the price of a ticket A great deal of “any woman, any time, anywhere.” He attention was obviously given to such de­ even tries to pick up women in a ho­ tails. (Listen to the background noises mosexual bar. “You ain’t king in this and dialogues as well. You will hear joint,” retorts a woman. Baldwin com­ phone sex operators, carnally inspired mands the screen as a ladies man who sort students and crazy Polish wedding of finds himself, or rather, decides to find guests, just to name a few.) himself. Three o f Hearts is an interesting film to Kelly Lynch (Ellen) and Sherilyn Fenn watch, not only because of the ingenuity (Connie) are perfectly coupled. Lynch is a of its subject matter, but also because of bit more masculine. Baldwin’s character its sense of richness. It is visually interest­ says a photo of her, “looks a little like Axl ing and Yurek Bogayevicz’s direction is Rose.” “Thanks," she replies. brilliant. The film’s overall ambience is re­ Lynch brings a great physical element miniscent of the classic Hollywood look to her role. Much of her expressive dia­ where the camera treated two subjects as Listen to 94 ROCK now through May 12 logue is in the form of body language. if they were the only two people in the Penn’s Connie, on the other hand, is an world. Bogayevicz also employs several and W IN ! English teaching assistant at New York interesting camera angles that are in the University who has the longing, eyelash style of Alfred Hitchcock. hatting, feminine Doris Day act down. But nothing like Three of Hearts has “ Rock’ll Weekend “Everybody, my girlfriend is dumping been done before. me because she needs more space,” with the Dead screams Ellen in the middle of a park. —Allison Dunn & Sting in Vegas’’ These Guys Could Do Better WIN Two tickets Splitting Heirs is the worst film ever of the film’s many failed gags) plots to kill made. the duke with the help of John Cleese’s to see the Dead & Sting - Seriously. It’s worse than Bill Cosby’s maniacal lawyer. Leonard Part VI. It’s worse than Shelly The greatest tragedy here is in the pre­ Both shows May 15, 16, Silver Bowl, Long’s H ello Again. It’s even worse than sence of Cleese, another former Python all of Melanie Griffith’s films rolled into member who has proven his talent in H Las Vegas one, long, whiny marathon. other post-Python efforts (A Fish Called This fact is even more disheartening W an da is the best example). But in S p lit­ when the supposed “talent” behind this ting Heirs, Cleese proves only his eating ^ ™ ^ O n e Night Accommodations film is considered. It stars and was proficiency, weighing in at a shocking scripted by Eric Idle, late of Monty laige 250-plus pounds and offering little Listen for songs from the Dead and Sting/Police Python greatness. If this film is any indi­ amusement played back to back on 94 ROCK, be the 10th caller cation, Idle might not have contributed to The movie wants to be another rollick­ on the 94 ROCK-LINE at 967-0945 and WIN! Python’s success as much as previously ing British farce, but saddles itself with thought This conclusion is drawn in the dead jokes, such as a sexual innuendo same way that the true genius of the Bea­ with an inflatable fish. Where was Idle tles — Lennon and McCarthy — was re­ during all those Python writing meetings? vealed when Harrison and Ringo started This stuff simply isn’t funny; not to making solo albums. Americans, not to Brits, not to anybody In any case, Idle plays a member of Bri­ whose level of humor is higher than Rick tain’s royal family who is accidentally Moranis skating around an office on switched at birth with American Rick roller blades. Moranis. Horribly miscast, Moranis If Splitting Heirs is in fact the worst walks through his role a fun-loving duke film ever made, the only good news for its with all the charisma and coordination of film makers will come if it becomes a box a thumbtack. To regain his rightful place office smash and spawns Splitting Heirs on the throne, Idle’s working-class stiff 11. Remember, sequels are never as good (now a 20-year-old raised by a strict Pa­ as the original. kistani family as one of their own — one —Brian Banks Daily Nexus ARTSWEEK Thursday, May 6,1993 3 A The Circle Bar B thespians (pictured) will feed you, tool Ranch Styled Theater Thespians with tri-tips, as motifs go, is pany sort of loses its star tenor. I won’t go better than it sounds. Dinner theatre is into the plot because it’s so basic that I done brash out Goleta parts. The meat is might wreck the show. Suffice to say that well done. At the Circle Bar B Ranch Din­ emerging from a cocoon of tenor-denial ner Theatre, they look you in the eye into a public display of the talented fun­ when they fill you with red, delicious damentals of opera and fraud, the main meat. And they laugh at you when you tiy character nearly has a breakdown. to find parking amidst the horseshit, in The highlights of the play are its charm­ their cowboy sort of good-natured, “Bet ing characters. Led in a wonderful perfor­ ya saw the last Woody Allen flick, huh, ya mance by Mark Ostendorf, a local actor/ urbane jerk.” Their dogs are friendly, too. engineering consultant, die cast truly The theatre, and the ranch house they shines. Jonathan Winters was in the audi­ feed in, are quaint as all hell. Not because ence last weekend, and they had him roll­ they designed it that way, but because this ing 'til he looked like he was gonna cough is a working ranch. It’s run like an old- up a lung, or at least a big underchewed fashioned family affair, the kind where piece of tri-tip.