NOBHEADS News of Buzzards Hilarious Escapades and Drinking Stories
THE LEIGHTON BUZZARD R.F.C. FORMER PLAYERS NEWSLETTER Issue 30 – July 2020 [email protected]
Lockdown(ish) Issue 3 As I type it is the day that pubs are re-opening though having read the guidelines for attendance at the two clubs of which I hold membership, it can hardly be described as a return to normality. Going for a beer will take on the joy of queuing for a ride at Disneyland, but don’t let that put you off. THE
CLUB NEEDS CASH! See last page for details. Wright’s Meadow, Leighton Road, Stanbridge, Beds, LU7 9HR Tel: 01525 -371322 So what else has been happening? We have seen the return to action of Super Rugby in the www.buzzardru gby.co.uk Southern Hemisphere though feeling the need to change its name every two years it is now referred Twitter: @buzzardrugby to as ‘Super Rugby Aotearoa”. It’s probably just an excuse for yet another variation of the Haka.
The views offered in this publication do not necessarily reflect official LBRFC policy.. Written Meanwhile the RFU and the top clubs appear to be at loggerheads … again! Should Autumn contributions may have been embellished but are Internationals take place, Twickenham may be forced to have a reduced capacity which will generally based on a modicum of fact. "Doc," he probably mean tickets will be about £300 a pop. Those going will notice that The Cabbage Patch said, "some time when the crew is up against it, has been re-named The Mother Theresa so as not to offend cabbages nor to belittle their struggle and the breaks are beating the boys, tell them to get out there and give it all they got and win just to bring about universal suffrage. Anyone singing Swing Low will be ejected to a holding pen in the one for the Zipper. I don't know where I'll be then, Cardinal Vaughan car park until the match is over, even if they were on one knee as they sang it. Doc," he said, "but I won't smell too good, that's for sure." Of course there’s a possibility that Cardinal Vaughan (1832-1903) had a great-great grandchild that knew someone whose dentist’s cousin once watched an episode of The Black & White Minstrel London 1 North Show, so don’t bank on the car park name having the same name come November. Isn’t life fun.
Well I wasn’t too far off in my guess as to who the 1st XV will face in 2020-21. I’d failed Tools to take into account who may move from P.S. Of course I’m being silly. Cardinal Herbert Vaughan was a Roman Catholic cleric, so he wouldn’t have had London 1 South back into their natural any great-great grandchildren … (officially). geographic location. So, the confirmed line up is as follows: Amersham & Chiltern Right back to the beginning Belsize Park Brentwood Here’s a photo of the LBRFC team that defeated Luton during the club’s first season in 1934-35. Chingford None of them are on the distribution list. Apparently, Steve ‘Fossil’ Jay had picked up an injury the Colchester previous Saturday and Bill Pragnell had retired from playing the previous season. Eton Manor Harpenden Leighton Buzzard Norwich Old Haberdashers Shelford Southend Sudbury Thurrock
Belsize Park’s ground is in Regents Park which means you can do London Zoo or the Lord’s Cricket Ground tour in the morning and watch Buzzards in the afternoon!
If however you fancy the Thurrock away fixture, make sure you have at least three visible facial tattoos, a couple of front teeth missing and a Doberman called Dinsdale on the end of a length of washing line. Back: R. Ruggles, A. Clement, S. Pratt. When the season will actually start is Middle: A. Saunders, J. Roberts, H. Brantom, G. Youll, L. Haynes, I. Howard, P. Dawson, G. Harris. anybody’s guess. Front: O. Tame, D. Gordon, L. Smith, ‘Shady’ Hopkins. ______Old Buzzards Newsletter – Issue 30 P a g e | 1
LEIGHTON BUZZARD RFC FORMER PLAYERS NEWSLETTER Issue 30 – July 2020 [email protected]
Pat Hawkins Apparel Appeal Newbies
OVER TO LENNY AND GRIFF FOR THE LATEST I noticed a couple of weeks back that Basil has appeared on Facebook so TOTAL!!!!!!! sent him a message asking for his email address but he is yet to reply, probably because I wrote to him in English, however don’t despair. In the two months since the last issue we’ve bagged a couple of corkers! Both came out of the blue.
If I were to give you three guesses as to the first and then say “Who’s got the valuables bag Rod?”, you would gleefully throw two of your guesses back at me and say triumphantly ‘BARRY GEE!!!”.
For those of you that didn’t know him, Barry played for the club from 1978 to 1994 managing to shoehorn in a couple of 1st XV appearances before departing the area for leafy Wokingham in Berkshire. He was pointed in our direction by fellow Northern bloke Denis Hardy.
Our second new subscriber is none other than Christopher Mole, erstwhile house mate of Chinny and alumnus of John Fisher School in Purley. Chris emigrated to Freemantle in Western Australia some years ago with the fragrant Caroline, where they and their offspring still reside.
Chris made his 1st XV debut against Mansfield in 1991 when with the Bedfordshire Cup final re-arranged for the following day, the entire 2nd XV was promoted en-masse to fulfil the home League fixture. Though not originally selected, Chris came in when Russell Bailey was hoiked up for the cup final. I was 2nd XV captain that season and at the next selection meeting was asked “why have you been hiding that Mole bloke?” (I hadn’t). From that heady beginning he made many more first team appearances and in Hmmmm. I think we’ll have to lower our sights fact scored a try in his first ‘proper’ selection at Harpenden, gashing a knee somewhat. Is anyone passing Primark in the next in the process which many hours and beers later was stitched up by Dr. couple of days? Anyway, up next: The cast of Death’s daughter (who had practiced on oranges) as the good doc was too Miranda present Newsnight. pissed to take on the procedure himself.
As it’s summer …
A couple of cricketing photos sent in by John Bishop. A textbook pull/sweep shot from Kelvin there … shame it was a maths textbook
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LEIGHTON BUZZARD RFC FORMER PLAYERS NEWSLETTER Issue 30 – July 2020 [email protected]
Matter arising Changing room bants
Whilst perusing the past couple of issues, the eagle-eyed Many moons ago in a land far, far away (Ireland) a quartet consisting Messrs among you will have noticed a number of photos of people Purr, Davies, Linden and Rayfield had stayed on for a couple of extra days hammering nails into a large lump of tree trunk. This was after the Easter Tour. organised by Sue Pearson and Elaine Jenkins as a way of raising more cash for the Viking Fund which was set up in Roll on to the following Saturday and with Rayfield amongst its number the rd honour of Chris to help cover the cost of training up those 3 XV scored a particularly satisfying comeback win after which the team moving into coaching. was understandably in particularly high spirits. Towelling himself down, Dave Newton stood in the middle of the changing room and wanted to find You may well also remember that last time out I promised out more about the extended trip. an explanation as to why there were no photos of Alban partaking. The truth of it was that he was all set to go. “So Mark” he said, “… who was it that stayed on in Dublin? You, Hugh …” He’d rolled up his sleeves, put on the Viking helmet and got …. Newts never got to finish his sentence. In unison the other thirteen himself into ‘the zone’. Then, just a yard away from the players finished it for him followed by gales of self-satisfied laughter as they tree trunk, for no apparent reason he fell to the floor. That marvelled at their collective quick-wittedness. If you can’t guess with what, said , he did present the hammer back beautifully for the then you really don’t merit a place on the distribution list for this next person to have a go. publication.
Oh Nicholas! What have you started?
I am willing to overlook the shameless piece of advertising from Mr. Davies just this once. Quiggers seems to be the only one to understand the importance of front lighting. Bunt – your contribution did merit inclusion but the writing in the speech bubbles was too small. Olly and Elaine – next issue.
Favourite XV’s – 5
Just one this time out and it is from the Toddington Titan, Ralph Harper. There is a link, see if you can find it. Ralph is offering a beer to whoever comes up with the first correct response ([email protected] – see what I did there?). From loose-head prop to full back:
King, Rice, D’Sylva, Mann, Butters, Rogers, Draper, Maddison, McDade, Tingey, Sear, Vinden, Splodge Boyd, Cooper, Harper
Previous Issues – Available Freeee!!!! For those of you to whom this publication is a newish experience, the previous 29 are available to view from the Club’s website (address on Page 1). The link can be found a little way down on the home page. If you fancy taking in the scenic route, click on the Information tab, then click on Documents, Club Documents. From there click on Old Buzzard Newsletter folder. A whole new world awaits! ______Old Buzzards Newsletter – Issue 30 3 | P a g e
LEIGHTON BUZZARD RFC FORMER PLAYERS NEWSLETTER Issue 30 – July 2020 [email protected]
Stuart Langhorn – Motivation guru So how have you spent lockdown Ian? I imagine the Connew household is now a pristine example of minimalism.
The second and final instalment of Langy’s up-and-at-em pre- I’ve received a few emails saying “found this in a drawer” or something match text messages. When I let Langy know the identity of my similar, with welcome attachments. A couple of examples appeared last time informant his reply was “How orlds his bloody phorne??!” out. Here are some more:
20/10/06 Stewarts & “We’re top of the league” how f*ck*n
Lloyds (a) good does that sound? & I’m nowhere near ready 2 stop telling everyone I meet. So let’s get f*ck*n brutal with these
c***s.
27/10/06 Balsall & The f*ck*rs are bringing 55 on a coach,
Berkswell big party when they beat us. Cheeky f*ck*n bastards. Sounds like fighting talk
to me!
27/10/06 Balsall & Start thinking “Wot the f*ck am I gonna Berkswell do to keep my shirt?”. Answer something f*ck*n special. Let’s shit these turds out. Good luck
30/10/06 Bugbrooke Let’s pick ourselves up show some bouncebackability. Gonna pick the team after training so everyone down who wants 2 play. Roll on Saturday for the 1987 LBRFC Sevens winners: Not sure, Pearson, Tift, Healy, Webb, Walker, buzz Burch, Connew, Gee
3/11/06 Bugbrooke Absolutely bouncing today. Can’t wait. Feels f*ck*n good. Trained well. Let’s all get home and give the mrs a dam good enthusiastic bullin in the bedroom!
L’entente cordiale Having crossed to the Channel in 1972 with the intention to cement Anglo-French relations, Pete Greening leads the Buzzards out against Coulommiers, followed by Dilly and Crusher.
Eddy, Irvine, Connew and Goodier. Not sure who the rather forlorn looking
guy in the arran sweater is. Probably got lost on his way to a Folk festival.
Nothing much to see here
The Favourite XVs feature seems to be passing off without causing too much debate or offence which just goes to show how in our advancing years we seem much more able to deal with selection disappointments than in the days of our collective youths.
For example I give you a response from Carl Siddon to the last but
one issue:
“… two mentions and neither calling me short, bald or a cnut! I'll forgive Watko for picking Fat Boy Llewellyn over me, I'd pick Willow at 10 anyway”
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LEIGHTON BUZZARD RFC FORMER PLAYERS NEWSLETTER Issue 30 – July 2020 [email protected]
Anything you can do …. Correction
The first batch of “Langy-isms” spurred Hugh Davies to do In the last issue’s article about the 2nd XV’s league winning season, I mentioned a scan of his memory bank and it brought back the Peter White being a member of the management team. Bill Pragnell advises following memory of another captain’s pre-match speech. me it should have been Peter’s brother Jack. Flushed by their success, the Hugh takes up the story: same management team will be in place for 2020-21.
“I did smile (and chortle a tad) over the
supposedly motivating text messages sent in
advance of impending games. It reminded me of Let’s get ready to crumble!!
Paul Walshaw (when he was 2nd team captain) Picture the scene. Its silly o’clock on Good Friday morning. 30 to 40-odd fresh making a rousing pre-match speech against a faced Buzzardians congregate at the clubhouse ready for Ken the Driver to team I can no longer remember the name of. take them away for four days of fun and frivolity.
He started off by reminding us that the previous It’s 1989 Mario, Pearso and Quiggers are suited, booted and ready to go and
year they had stuffed us. He was wild of eye and sample what Teignmouth has to offer. Is that Meg with them? …. in the pink walked round the changing room like a caged jumper, not the photo at the back of the bar over Pearso’s right shoulder. wolf. Beating his chest and punching ours,
constantly prodding us and saying, “well, are ya ready, are ya?”.
I was scared, he looked like he was going to burst a blood vessel or even have a heart attack and then he uttered those immortal words, “They think we’re a munch of bugs”.....
Well, lots of eye contact between the team players was quickly followed with a hearty titter
and Walshy stormed out and called us, “a load of c##ts!”...... That always brings a smile to my face. That said, I think we still managed to come away with a win”.
Probably the first Summer Ball
It is certainly a while ago because Jimmy Davidson and Mark & Alison Penwell (as they were to become) don’t look old enough to be out after 7.30 pm. Sorry if your kids didn’t know you once smoked Alison
The gift that keeps on giving He’s become one-man quotation tsunami. Stuart Langhorn prompted another memory,
this time from James Davis:
After a final minute incident of "individual confusion" for the 4th XV in 2011 saw them concede a last minute try and lose their undefeated status away at unfancied Cranfield University - Langhorn was heard to announce to the guilty party....
"I don't care if I have to pull those posts down with my bare hands and build
my own f***ing cross - I am going to nail you to it and f***ing crucify you" ______
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LEIGHTON BUZZARD RFC FORMER PLAYERS NEWSLETTER Issue 30 – July 2020 [email protected]
The first promotion Paul Evans sent some clippings from the LBO documenting the win against Kettering that secured promotion and the Midlands 2 East title in the second year of League rugby 1988-89.
Back: Dave Hyde, Rod Keating, Adrian Carne, Paul Evans, Marc Taylor, Chris Gibbons, John Davidson, Neal Summerfield, Andy Micans, Ian Connew, Phil Eddy Front: Phil Burton, Graham Jarman, Matt Heast, John Fraser (Captain), Ben Irvine, Basil Quinn, Stuart Renshaw.
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LEIGHTON BUZZARD RFC FORMER PLAYERS NEWSLETTER Issue 30 – July 2020 [email protected]
LBRFC Former Players Coming up Mindful of the fact that most of the photos in this edition come from the 80s and 90s, I am Golf Day ever aware that some age groups are sometimes neglected. I intend to plunder John Status remains at “watch this space”. Rest Tarbox’s photo album for some vintage content for the next issue. Now the club is re- assured that in his role as LBGC social opened I will endeavour to collect Mike Turner’s historical document and don’t be shy, keep secretary, Ada Stephenson is working all your Favourite XVs coming in. the angles to get this event up and running. I still have Kouskous’s newspaper clipping to include. Don’t worry Nick, it is still in its Sometime in October is still looking the protective plastic cover and I will return it as soon as it has been used. Actually, some of most likely. More news next time. you may not be aware that Kouskous passed the landmark age of 65 a couple of weeks ago. He must drink from the same spring as Steve Maddison!
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