Rom J Psychoanal 2018, 11 (1):37-50 doi:10.26336/rjp.2018-1101-4

Rom J Psychoanal

BROKEN MIRRORS: LOOKING FOR A TRUE IDENTITY

Milagros Cid Sanz8

(Accepted for publication 8 May 2018) Abstract: This article reviews the importance of the double for the integration of and the formation of the Self. A brief review of Freud’s articles On Narcissism and The serves as a starting point for reflection on the narcissistic double. The article On Narcissism uses the myth of as reference. With regard to the uncanny, it demonstrates the frequent appearance of the double in literature and in certain intensive regressive states, or the disorganization of the Self, along with the disturbing relationship between the familiar and the uncanny. Subsequent contributions from contemporary authors, such as de M’Uzan, have developed this concept within normal evolution and pathological formations. The concept of the mirroring object has been theorised by different authors such as Lacan, Winnicott, and Kohut, among others, pointing out the importance of the object in the formation of the subject, and the ways of mirroring in the

8 Madrid Psychoanalytical Association; e-mail: [email protected] 37

analyses of this type of narcissistic functioning, along with the associated technical difficulties. The function of the internal and external frame is considered to be a third necessary for (re)constructing the triangulation. One clinical case illustrates some transference- countertransference difficulties in these cases. Keywords: identity, Narcissus myth, narcissistic double, mirroring object, third.

Introduction The conquest of one’s own identity is a long and uncertain process. This process is usually subject to oscillations that are more or less intense depending on the development of narcissism and the ways object relations are identified and formed. As we know, the earliest exchanges with the object — the mother as first seducer — (Freud, 1905) are essential to the formation of the ego and its progressive differentiation from the object. The connection between narcissism, the double, and the mirroring object is part of the evolution of being within the construction of identity. Its failures are observed in pathological conditions and have technical implications.

Narcissism and the Double

The introduction of the concept of narcissism represented a change in the first drive theory, which considered drives as being divided into two groups: sexual drives and self-preservation drives. At first, Freud’s theory opposed two fundamental types of drives, the self-preservation drive and the sexual drive, an instinctual dualism which led to a second phase of drive theory: the opposition between life drives (Eros) and

38 death drives (Thanatos), as defined in the so-called structural model of the mind (Freud, 1923). Considering that, in the Freudian conceptualisation, there are no drives without object, even if the object is oriented toward the ego, this is only possible when care is provided by an adequate external object, allowing the integration of autoerotisms (Freud, 1914). Considering the second Freudian drives theory, an adequate external object allows the fusion between the death drive and the life drive/. If equating narcissism with self-love constitutes a reduction, and if narcissism denotes an archaic form of interaction, then to consider that Narcissus perished because he was in love with himself is to, in fact, reduce the myth. He was in love with a reflection which he failed to recognise as his own. In Ovid’s version, when Narcissus noticed this image had no independent existence, but was an illusion instead, he committed suicide, succumbing to a fatal destiny. He was a beautiful only child, the result of Liriope’s ravishment by the river god Cephisus. The absence of a father and siblings prevented him from recognising alterity and the differences between sexes and generations. Curiously, the water on the surface of which Narcissus sees his reflection is the water of the spring that the nymph Liriope, his mother, presided over. This mirroring relationship with his mother is what ultimately kills him. According to Rank (1914), the doubling of one’s self involves tension between the self and its double, the latter’s presence challenging the self’s existence and initially acting as a parasite, aiming to displace or destroy the original self. The phenomenon of the double refers to the division of the subject into a self and a non-self. On one hand, it ensures immortality (as evoked in Plato’s Phaedo), while on the other, it threateningly announces death. The primitive concept of duality of the soul, where the soul, the mind

39 is separate from the physical body, arises from Man’s need to immortalise himself. The relationship between the double and narcissism was also underlined in more recent times with Freud’s work On Narcissism. Freud pointed out the presence of the uncanny in literature (1919). The ambivalent relationship between the familiar or the homely (heimliche) and the uncanny or the unhomely (unheimliche) is related to certain disorders of the ego. These manifest as regression to periods where the ego has yet to be clearly differentiated from the outside world or from the other. In M’uzan’s view, the double is not a pathological entity, although it can be put to that use, but is instead the inevitable consequence of a fundamental split that occurred in the early phase of psychic development, when identity is formed. It implies that identity, which we normally tend to consider a unitary concept, paradoxically rests on a divide which produces a capacity for adjustment to various situations. As a result of these considerations, he defined the paraphrenic twin as a psychic being whose place and nature can be inferred from its traces, which remain present throughout the individual’s history. “This double/twin, emanating from primordial psychic activity, is the expression of a work of personalisation to which one can only gain access subsequently during experiences of depersonalisation” (de M’Uzan, 1999, p. 105). Compared to Winnicott’s transitional object, the paraphrenic twin is a transitional subject, and does not exist as a real object, as in Winnicott’s conceptualisation. De M’Uzan (1974) does not recognise a precise, certain, and permanent frontier or barrier between the ego and the non-ego, but in its place he locates an intermediate space that he calls the spectrum of identity. This is “defined by the loci and quantities cathected by narcissistic libido, from the narrowest view of the ego to the image of the other in his full alterity” (Michel

40 de M’Uzan, 2013, p. 61). Midway between the extreme poles of the spectrum there is a zone of floating individuation. In clinical work, his concept of “chimera” defines the characteristics of this kind of deep unconscious communication that takes place between the analytic couple participants. Bion (1967) appraises the double in quite a different way. In his article “The imaginary twin”, while describing a clinical case, he considers “(…) the imaginary twin as an expression of his inability to tolerate an object that was not under control (…). The function was thus to deny a reality different from himself” (Bion, 1950, p. 19).

The Mirroring Object

The mirroring object can refer to the dyadic relationship with the mother. The ideal ego as the heir of narcissism leaves the subject vulnerable to the other’s glance, looking for an unattainable standard of perfection. The myth of Narcissus in fact portrays the love of a mirror image that is tragically taken for a real object. In the myth, Narcissus’s inability to love other objects appears to be linked to his early life. Oscar Wilde (1879) gives the myth a rather different ending, emphasising the mirroring function of the object therein: “But I loved Narcissus because as he lay on my banks and looked down at me, in the mirror of his eyes I saw ever my own beauty mirrored.”9 The mirror stage is a concept initially developed by J. Lacan (1936), constituting a period of infant development from six to 18 months and lending particular importance to the moment of self-recognition through an exteriorisation of one’s own image, or to how the image of one’s own body is

9 Wilde, O. [1879] Poems in Prose. The Disciple. Kindle Edition. Published March 30th, 2011 by Amazon Digital Services (first published 1879) p. 4689. 41 sustained by the image of the other. In this stage, the infant, who previously experienced a fragmented body, piecemeal or shapeless, can identify with the unified, yet alienated, image of her/his body, reflected in the mirror. Lacan insists on the evolutionary and structuring aspect of this stage in the recognition of the body image at the beginning of subjectivation. Winnicott (1967), reprising the metaphor of the mirror from another perspective, emphasises the mother’s gaze as a first form of mirror, indispensable in establishing one’s illusion space. This Winnicottian mirror refers more to a stage of subject-object undifferentiation, allowing for the incorporation of the first forms of identification. Kohut (1977) considers the grandiose self to be the pole of the self that draws its strength from the self-object’s responses to mirroring needs. The notion is related to mirror transference. If the mirror does not respond to this demand for recognition, as occurs in the story of Snow White, the established as protection against feelings of and rivalry may become intolerable to the Self. As B. Bettelheim (1975) wrote about Snow White’s stepmother, the magic mirror represents her narcissism and her constant search for security regarding her beauty, long before the beauty of Snow White eclipses her own. C. & S. Botella (2005) pointed out the importance of working as a double. The analyst, with his work of figurability, uses a set of narcissistic investitures lacking in words, but abundant in affect and close to the hallucinatory images. He can thus find a way to access unrepresented areas of the patient. This work is closely linked to the process of transference- countertransference.

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The Third

The alternation between ego-libido and object-libido must be understood as a continuous dialectic, since this dialectic has often been displaced in favour of a Manichaean equation of object-relation versus the negative aspect of narcissism. The harmonious coexistence of both is what actually defines the plasticity of the ego and its creative potential. These movements of libidinal investments between the Self and the object cannot always be carried out properly. In certain circumstances, the subject remains fatally caught up in the mirror image necessary to reflect his existence back to him. As a third actor in the dyadic mother-baby relationship, the paternal function facilitates a discontinuity of the mother’s investment in the child. An adequate balance between the object’s presence and absence is necessary to establish the representation of the object and its symbolisation. The following case illustrates a patient’s search for different mirroring objects, incessantly trying to fulfil the failures of an integrated narcissism. Tom is a man in his thirties who came to see me because of an anxious and depressed state following his boyfriend leaving him. It was an unexpected situation and he was in a state of traumatic shock. Tom left their shared home without wanting to take anything from it, as if to escape from everything which might remind him of this relationship. Humiliation threatened to turn into mortification, and into the deadly loss of the self. In the first interview, I was somewhat surprised at how he did not remove his hat at any time. The hat seemed to be a kind of sign of identity for

43 him. He told me that, because he suffered from alopecia areata10, he felt embarrassed so usually left his hat on. This made me think there was something to be hidden from the view of others, while inevitably attracting attention, like a simultaneous demonstration of exhibition and concealment of castration and helplessness. He told me that he usually spent a lot of money on designer clothes, from which he removed the labels. The clothes he wears seem old, but he knows that they are very expensive and this is important to him. He quickly told me that he had always lied about his social origins and status. The only son of a single mother, he never knew his father, a married man with his own family. His mother rarely spoke of him. He used a pacifier for years and shared his mother’s bed because he was afraid at night. He criticised his mother for that; she was not able tell him “no”. People often thought that he was a baby girl, because of his blond, long and curly hair. He did not like playing football or engaging in violent physical activities as other boys did. His mother did not seem to be bothered by these habits of his, although she was upset when she found out about his homosexuality. At an early age, he realized he was attracted to boys. He had never been interested in girls romantically. When he was a child he had an imaginary friend. He remembered that he had a nickname and was a kind of companion for him. He often felt alone because of his mother’s work. When he went to university in another city, he developed his own private family romance: his father was separated from his mother and had another family. He was angry with him and had no contact with him. In

10 Alopecia areata is a type of hair loss with evident psychosomatic component. 44 response to this, Tom promoted his own family to a higher social status. He felt embarrassed telling me that. He felt trapped by his lies. The character he had created was carefree, cheerful, capricious, witty, lavish and extremely generous with his friends. This issue of his prodigality comes up repeatedly during sessions as a desperate way to be loved and admired, his concealing intense feelings of helplessness. Tom designed a less painful and frustrating story. He seemed ashamed, but relieved, following the painful exercise in honesty he had imposed on himself by coming to see me. He often said “I really don’t know who I am, who is behind the character I created.” At the beginning of the treatment, fusion anxiety was expressed through a confusion regarding dates, the clinic address and appointment times, and with the refusal to lie down on the couch at the beginning of sessions, facing me, as he needed to see me as a real mirroring image. The following vignette, after a disturbing period where he was often absent, reveals some of his fears. During this period, I had to cope with my own worry and feelings of abandonment and disappointment, trying to understand and waiting for the moment to elaborate them, first in my mind and then with him. His mother always calls him and does not tolerate not hearing from him. (After a week without coming or calling, I was worried and wondered if I should call him, but finally decided not to and just wait instead). He apologized for his absence. He was out of town and could not come. He forgot to call me. (During this period, he was doing business and was often travelling). T: My mother makes me very nervous. She reproached me for not inviting her to go to the island. She’s hanging onto me. She stresses me a lot.

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A: Maybe you also needed to get away from me last week, to see if I could tolerate your absence or if I would be hanging onto you like your mother. T: Well, I do not think these kinds of feelings are at play here. My mother feels a total admiration for me. Everything of mine is the best for her: I am the most handsome, the most intelligent etc. ... In this case it is rather me imagining that you have a bad impression of me... Since here is where I bring my dark side, those things that I never speak of in other places, things that I have always invented about my life... Now, when I come back to Madrid, I am happy to return to my home, to return to a more orderly way of life. On the island it’s like a never-ending party, as if I were on vacation. I also work, but I drink a lot when I go out there and I take drugs for crazy nights. Today I have a hangover and an unpleasant feeling. Last night there were four of us in a sex party: a very handsome boy, another one with his partner, and me. I felt bad after that experience. It’s like living a life divided in two. When I’m there I disconnect from here. I think this period of frequent absences was his way of testing me, to see if I would tolerate his absences, and to flee from the fear of dependence. His mother would call him all the time and would deal poorly with not hearing from him, having no tolerance for such an absence. My decision to not call him during the week of absences probably placed me in a new position for Tom. Behind the image of idealized child as seen by his mother (a nice girl) hanging onto him, there were very different feelings of rejection and abandonment that could have appeared. Apparently, this idealized mother’s mirror that trapped him in this feminine identity broke down, shattered, when I decided not to call him and wait instead, appearing in the transference feelings related to maternal

46 rejection hidden behind the idealisation, allowing us to work through his early feelings of loneliness. His mother often had had to leave him on his own because of her job. He recovered early memories of helplessness and could open up and speak about his intense guilt tied to the thought that his birth had, in a way, destroyed the maternal life project. Soon after this session he took off his hat, showing me his “naked” head. By showing me his completely shaved head, I had a disturbing feeling that he was undressing in front of me. I considered this moment an important change in our relationship. The following fragment illustrates his fear of breakdown (Winnicott, 1974): … When I was earning a lot of money, I started collecting art. I bought a very expensive picture by [a well-known painter]. It fell from the frame to the ground. I interpreted it as a sign of bad luck and have not picked it up from the gallerist’s house, where I took it for repairs. The picture has a green background with the word “warum”, which means “why” in German. I can’t bring it home. I know it’s a superstition, but I’m really afraid that something bad will happen. A: The same way you need to leave some of your warum here with me, some “why’s” that you feel are dangerous to you? T: I think maybe it was also a way of rejecting what this picture represents, a way of life that created some confusion about who I am. Tom’s partner represented a double for him, a kind of mirroring object, reflecting an image of success back at him. When they started living together, he changed from his previous quite hippie lifestyle, when he showed interest in culture, and became preppy like his partner, wasting money and

47 buying expensive clothes as a way to be him. The traumatic breakup and abandonment precipitated a state of helplessness (Hilflosigkeit) in him. Tom seemed compelled to conceal something — his head, by leaving his hat on, or his posh designer clothes by cutting brand labels off — as a way to hide his origins and uncertain identity, while at the same time attracting the glances and curiosity of others, drawing attention to himself. I considered this double movement to represent the coexistence of the narcissistic and a secret pride in being dressed in very expensive clothes, like a prince. His mother worked hard to pay for all his whims. The relationship with her was full of ambivalent feelings of rejection, guilt, and dependence, trapped in the maternal narcissistic mirror.

Conclusions

The mirroring relationship can allow a better integration of the autoerotisms, playing the role of a protective shield, as a projection of the Ideal Ego. The loss of the idealized object can be experienced as the traumatic loss of a part of the Self, leaving the subject exposed to severe depressive or somatic decompensation (Cid Sanz, 2000. p. 132). An analyst’s excessive need for mirroring, the identification with the ideal patient’s mirroring needs, as well as the difficulty in dealing with frustration can be significant challenges for this kind of mirror transference. The analyst’s enactment is very frequent in these cases, needing an intensive analyst’s elaboration. Punctual supervision can be very useful to put into practice in order to better work through possible impasses or risks of sudden treatment abandonment. The analyst constantly scans his internal space, observing the interplay and interaction of the two minds and feelings. The third in the

48 analyst’s mind allows him to work simultaneously on two different levels. The internal setting that accompanies the external setting creates a secure space, a possible source of creativity, restoring the triangulation. The counter-transference elaboration of non-verbal language can be the first step in conferring meaning by way of interpretation. The elaboration is not an intellectual construction, but rather an interaction between non-verbal and verbal language, constituting part of the analytic situation (Cid Sanz, 2017). The self-analysis of counter-transference precedes elaboration with the patient. In this way, we could say that counter-transference precedes transference (Neyraut, 1974).

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CID SANZ, M. (2017). Looking for the father. Symposium Homosexualities. Unpublished communication. EPF House, Brussels, March. CID SANZ, M. (2017). Non Verbal-Verbal: Dealing with primordial modes of experience and communication in psychoanalysis. Epi School., UAB. Barcelona, Nov. 2017.

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