Lone Star Love Or the Merry Wives of Windsor, Texas

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Lone Star Love Or the Merry Wives of Windsor, Texas Redux Working Draft February 12, 2013 STRICTLY CONFIDENTIAL NOT FOR DISTRIBUTION WITHOUT PERMISSION OF JOHN L. HABER AND JACK HERRICK LONE STAR LOVE or, The Merry Wives of Windsor, Texas An American Musical SHAKESPEARE ON THE RANGE In the wake of The War Between the States, cattle became king in Texas — with a population ratio of 9 cows to every human. Within three years, the annual total grew from 35,000 to 350,000 head of cattle that were driven on foot to Colorado, Wyoming, and Kansas, beside the thousands that were shipped by steamer to New Orleans and other points south and east. This boom time attracted a lot of carpetbaggers, scoundrels and social misfits to the Lone Star State. Among them were “Big John” Falstaff and his Musical Band of Rebels. FURTHER HISTORICAL BACKGROUND Texas became the twenty-eighth state in 1845. By 1860, it was ninth in the nation in per capita wealth, due largely to livestock and farming interests. There emerged an affluent and aspiring middle class from peasant roots, not unlike the bourgeoisie of Shakespeare's Windsor, England. In 1861, Texas seceded from the Union and joined the Confederacy. Though the state was never the scene of significant military operations during the Civil War, it did contribute 50,000 men and extensive supplies to the Confederate cause. The Reconstruction era presented significant problems of law enforcement in Texas, with the influx of carpetbaggers, ex-Confederates and other opportunistic outsiders. From its earliest days, Texas had attracted more than its share of outcasts and criminals. In the rebuilding of a war-damaged economy, land and cattle were the state's greatest assets. Ranching commenced on an unparalleled scale, and the cowboy culture expanded and flourished. Eventually, the town of Windsor along with the Page, Ford and countless other ranches were swallowed up by King Ranch, the largest in Texas, larger in size than the state of Rhode Island. DRAMATIS PERSONÆ COLONEL JOHN FALSTAFF, one of Shakespeare’s greatest characters, larger than life -- imported in all his glory from Windsor, England to Windsor, Texas SERGEANT PISTOL ) CORPORAL NYM ), His Band of Rebels PRIVATE BARDOLPH ) GEORGE PAGE, a wealthy, successful, second-generation cattle rancher head of the Cattlemen’s Association MARGARET ANNE PAGE, his wife – attractive, smart, resourceful, community leader MISSANNE PAGE, their daughter – independent, pretty and coming of age MISS QUICKLY, housekeeper to the Pages – minds her business and others’ with skill JOE FRANK FORD, “new money” cattle rancher – a hardworking self-made man AGGIE FORD, his wife – honest, strong, loyal and beautiful to boot LUCAS and CHESTER, ranch hands to the FORDS SHERIFF BOB SHALLOW, the local law in the body and spirit of Gabby Hayes MASTER ABRAHAM SLENDER, his nephew and ward DOCTOR CAIUS, a French-born eccentric who lands in Windsor by way of New Orleans FARLAND FENTON, the iconic yodeling cowboy CONSUELA ) RUBY ), Windsor gals GRACE ) RUGBY, utility ranch hand BARMAN, Bass Player and Host of the GARTER SALOON STICKS, Percussionist of the GARTER SALOON MISS LIBBY, Fiddler of the GARTER SALOON MUSICAL NUMBERS ACT ONE PRELUDE: “THE BALLAD OF FALSTAFF” Bardolph, Pistol and Nym SCENE 1: THE PAGE RANCH BARN "TEXAS CATTLEMEN" Men of the Company SCENE 2: SOMEWHERE NEAR THE SOUTH 40 "BIG JOHN JUMP" Falstaff and Company SCENE 3: THE GARTER SALOON SCENE 4: THE PAGE RANCH “ONLY A FOOL” The Pages and the Fords "THROWDOWN IN WINDSOR" The Company "CAIUS'S THEME" Doctor Caius "SLENDER’S THEME" Slender SCENE 5: OUT ON THE PRAIRIE "PRAIRIE MOON" MissAnne and Fenton "THE COWBOY'S DREAM" Fenton and Miss Quickly SCENE 6: THE GARTER SALOON ”ASK ME NO REASON” Falstaff and Wives SCENE 7: THE PAGE RANCH "ANOTHER MAN’S HAT" Mrs. Page, Mrs. Ford and Company SCENE 8: THE PAGE RANCH BARN SCENE 9: THE GARTER SALOON “ONLY A FOOL”/”EL TONTO CELOSO” Ford, Miss Libby and Saloon Girls SCENE 10: THE FORD RANCH "LONE STAR LOVE" Prelude Mrs. Ford, Mrs. Page and Falstaff ACT ONE FINALE: "LONE STAR LOVE" The Company ACT TWO ENTR’ACTE: "HARD TIMES" Bardolph, Pistol and Nym SCENE 1: THE GARTER SALOON "COLD CASH" Falstaff, Women and Band SCENE 2: THE PAGE RANCH HOUSE "COUNT ON MY LOVE" Fenton and MissAnne SCENE 3: BEHIND THE SCHOOL HOUSE AT HIGH NOON "CODE OF THE WEST" The Company "QUAIL-BAGGING" The Company SCENE 4: THE FORD RANCH "TEXAS WIND" Mrs. Ford SCENE 5: REPTILE RIDGE "THE WILD CAT MOAN" Pistol, Miss Libby, Falstaff and Company SCENE 6: THE SAGUARO (CACTI) GROVE "LOVE IN THE LIGHT OF THE MOON" Falstaff, Wives and Company "THE BALLAD OF FALSTAFF" Falstaff, Band and Company REPRISE: "LONE STAR LOVE" The Company "SUGARFOOT RAG" The Company and Band LONE STAR LOVE is dedicated to TOMMY THOMPSON (1937-2003) Founder of The Red Clay Ramblers Tommy and son Tom Ashley Tommy as Falstaff in the mid-1970’s (with Jim Wann as Pistol) in The Merry Wives of Windsor Forest Theatre, 1973 2/18/13 Act One, Page 1 LONE STAR LOVE or, The Merry Wives of Windsor, Texas AUTHORS’ NOTE: The entire action takes place in and around Windsor, Texas in the fall of 1865. BARDOLPH, PISTOL and NYM are FALSTAFF'S Band of Rebels, which includes additional on-stage musicians. In this rough and tumble environment, microphones and other modern components co-exist with objects of the period. Minimal scenic elements, props and furniture define locations and suggest the world more than representing it. Paying homage to the original Globe Theatre (built in 1599) with its inner “below” and upper “above,” the set is a multi- level barn— with several stairways and entrances and large sliding doors upstage, opening onto views of the prairie landscape. This is Shakespeare "Texas-style." ACT ONE PRESHOW/PROLOGUE A casual and friendly ambiance is advocated from the get-go, and from time to time, characters break the “fourth wall” as in Shakespeare’s Merry Wives. Old- fashioned signs are posted at various entrances to the theatre such as “Welcome to Windsor” and “Cattle Crossing,” etc. The set is in open view, with a big “Windsor, Texas Cattlemen’s Association” banner stretching across the railing of the upper deck of the barn. Band members may be spotted on stage and out in the house -- playing Western tunes idiomatic to the show. House lights go to half, and GEORGE PAGE appears on stage and addresses the audience. PAGE Howdy, folks! My name’s George Page and I wanna welcome y’all to Windsor, Texas. It’s the year of Our Lord 1865, so I gotta ask you to turn off those beepy things, you know, cell phones and the like – [turning off his own ringing cell and sticking it into his pocket] that’s it. Much obliged. Now I reckon you may have heard of Billy Bob Shakespeare’s “The Merry Wives of Windsor” --England, that is—well, we’ve taken that tale and given it some Texas beef. [Sound of cattle.] So sit back, kick off your shoes (maybe not) and enjoy how that big ‘ole tub o’ lard John Falstaff rode into Windsor town with his band of rebels and tried to take our local wives for a ride, how he got his comeuppance--and a whole lot more! FALSTAFF [From back of the house] Come on, ya lousy bunch of loafers! PAGE [To BAND] Hit it, boys! [PAGE exits as BARDOLPH, PISTOL and NYM emerge from the back of the house up the center aisle. They begin singing in the house and relate and sing to the audience.] ♫ SONG: “BALLAD OF FALSTAFF” BARDOLPH, PISTOL and NYM BARDOLPH, PISTOL AND NYM 2/18/13 Act One, Page 2 WE’RE NOT PROPER AND PRIM WE GO RIDIN’ ALONG DOIN’ WRONG, FOLLOWIN’ HIM! WHO IS THIS RAMBLIN’ KNIGHT, RUNS AWAY FROM A FIGHT? DRUNKEN, GREEDY AND MEAN TOO FAT TO BE SEEN IN THE NATURAL LIGHT. OH, IT’S… BIG JOHN FALSTAFF! WILDEST IN THE WEST— BIG JOHN TAKES THE HIGH ROAD AND THE DEVIL TAKE THE REST. EIGHTEEN HUNDRED AND TEN IN A MISTY MOUNTAINEOUS GLEN SOME DOWN IN NORTH CAROLINA GAVE A MIGHTY WHINE LIKE A PIG IN THE PEN! FALSTAFF [Popping up out of the audience, choosing a lady to represent his mother] Mama!! AND SINCE THAT TROUBLESOME MORN WHEN FAT LITTLE JOHNNY WAS BORN— FALSTAFF [Handing cigar to someone] It’s a boy! BARDOLPH, PISTOL and NYM HE RAMBLED ALL OVER THE SOUTH HAND TO MOUTH THROUGH THE COTTON AND CORN. AND IT’S… BIG JOHN FALSTAFF— FALSTAFF That’s me! BARDOLPH, PISTOL and NYM THRIVES UPON HIS WITS BIG JOHN GETS THE PEACHES AND ALL WE GET’S THE PITS! BIG JOHN FALSTAFF! LEADER OF THE BAND TEARIN’ UP THE WOMEN AND BURNIN’ UP THE LAND TEARIN’ UP THE WOMEN AND BURNIN’ UP THE LAND! FALSTAFF Come on boys, I’m hungry. Let’s poach us some cattle! 2/18/13 Act One, Page 3 [HOEDOWN TAG] [FALSTAFF and BAND disappear, as arguing CATTLEMEN take their places for the Cattlemen’s Association meeting.] ACT ONE, SCENE 1: THE PAGE RANCH BARN SHERIFF BOB Mr. Page, persuade me not! PAGE Simmer down, Sheriff Bob! SHERIFF BOB By hell, I’ll nab whatever thievin’ skunk’s been poachin’ my herd, and introduce him to the business end of a rope! FORD You sayin’ we got rustlers? SHERIFF BOB I’m sayin’ I’m one longhorn short of a herd. I’m sayin’ I’m the law, and that’s all I’m sayin’. I ain't one of the big owners like you, Mr. Ford, or you, Mr.
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