THE RADLEY COLLEGE CHRONICLE Vol. VII No. 3 GAUDY ISSUE 6 July 2007

RADOPOLYTM The exclusive Radley spending game that everyone can play! See inside for more details.

– – — INSIDE — – – A Poll, Work Experience, Poets’ Corner, Leavers’ Recitals, Shell Play, Harry Potter Predictions & much more… 6 July 2007 THE RADLEY COLLEGE CHRONICLE These are some of the cards you will need to play RADOPOLYTM: five ‘Today Boards’, five ‘Tutor’s Announcements’, and ten ‘Radleiana’ – the last being unpredictable events that upset the otherwise smooth running of Radley life.

62 THE RADLEY COLLEGE CHRONICLE 6 July 2007 OVERHEARD… A regular column devoted to memorable lines from all quarters of College.

Overheard in Hall: Radley has a monopoly: you can’t deny it. Nowhere Boy: ‘But Mary wasn’t a virgin was she? Jesus was else can you get a Ra-Ra-Radley education at Radley her son…’ College with all these pitches, beagles, and prestigiously high fees. There isn’t even a Radley Dubai or Radley Beijing to offer the discerning Home Overheard at the Maths barbeque: Counties parent a modicum of choice within the Boy (in a discussion about the terrible physics in Dan Radley brand. This, we learn in A level Economics, is Brown’s books): ‘You’d think he’d get a physics-y how we maintain our dominant position in the market: friend to check it for him’ by limiting supply (although two new socials are rising Don: ‘Well, that’s the kind of guy he his – he has **** fast) and being the only supplier of Radley kit and all mates.’ memorabilia (visit Shop today for your must-have OR cufflinks and tie set). In an email to a don, sent from another boy’s account: RADOPOLYTM – a game for all the family (boys Shell: ‘Sir, I am very sorry but I am unable to send an only). The stakes are high, but then that stops the riff- email because my memory is full.’ raff playing. Roll the dice and see where you land... H Don: ‘Hmmm. Perhaps we are teaching too much to Social – congratulations! The Bursary – bad luck! The the Shells?’ major difference between Radopoly and Monopoly is that when you pass GO, you pay money rather than Overheard in Hall: receive it. Can you afford to buy Mansion after a steep Boy A: ‘This is not really paella...’ fees hike? Oh, well, make do with the defunct Old Boy B: ‘No it’s more a Platonic conception of paella.’ Gym. You only get five rounds of the board before the Boy C: ‘Ponce!’ game ends and you have to join the real world (or play Gapopoly – available soon). Overheard during a History test on protest movements: Don: What is the name of the violent splinter group of the SDS?’ (Then, after baffled looks) ‘Their name originates from one of Bob Dylan’s lyrics.’ Boy (sarcastically): ‘Thanks, really helpful...’ Don: ‘That is because you are a cultural peasant.’

Overheard during an inspirational pre-exam pep-talk: Don: Don’t worry, you’ll be fine; you’re in the top set aren’t you? To add some realistic randomness to the play, there are Boy: ‘No Sir, I’m in the bottom one...’ the realistically random ‘Tutor’s Announcements’ and Don: ‘You’re stuffed, don’t worry about it.’ ‘Today Board’ notices, together with ‘Radleiana’, which are all the other threads in the rich Radley Overheard in Common Room: tapestry… Can you dodge AER’s gripping year-group gatherings? Can you avoid the Tutor’s weekly drive on Don A: ‘You don’t cope very well with people the small things (that matter)? There’s everything to cleverer than you.’ play for! Withdraw at least £1,000,000 from your bank Don B: ‘No. But then I don’t come across them very and roll the dice now! often.’

Our version was inspired by the Bursaropoly board of Posted on Facebook on the morning of Friday 6 July, The Crap Public Schools Association from one Leaver to another: (www.crappublicschools.org). ‘What time is the Leavers service on Saturday? And what time is the sodding Prize Giving?’ In a celebration of political correctness and non- Please keep sending us (printable) quotes – to partisanship, the socials are in alphabetical order and [email protected]. are all worth equal amounts. No prices were remotely correct at time of going to press.

63 6 July 2007 THE RADLEY COLLEGE CHRONICLE A POLL ON READING REMOVE ENGLISH TRIP We interviewed about 80 Radleians from all years across 7 JUNE, SHAKESPEARE’S GLOBE all Socials to find out how much reading is going on Weekly testing on each act, an extra English exam at about the place. the end of term and a hot and sweaty Sunday night at

HC’s watching Al Pacino’s Merchant of Venice had 1. How many books do you read a year? comprised the build up to the trip. Rowers had even 7 (average) been forced to end an outing early. 1b needed 2. Do you consider reading a good way of relaxing? enlightenment but a three hour long Merchant of Yes: 75%, No: 25% Venice was not what most had in mind. To lighten the atmosphere HC even promised a special deluxe 3. Do you prefer to read fiction or non-fiction? packed lunch for the approaching trip to the Globe. Fiction: 55%, Non-fiction: 45% But come Thursday, HC reckoned that to deserve this 4. How much time, on average, do you spend reading treat we would have to earn our sandwiches through in your free time each day? the popular drinking game, ‘21’. A rather cool, sadly No time: 60%, ½ hour: 20%, More: 20% nameless boy was quick off the mark claiming that he was well acquainted with the game and had had much 5. Do you read a book before going to bed? experience; after only two rounds he was out. On the Always: 30%, Often: 20%, journey we slumped with PSPs and iPods at hand, Sometimes: 35%, Never: 15% further distancing ourselves from the nearing 6. When do you read? performance famed for its ‘complex characterisation’ Only in term time: 25% and ‘poetic grandeur’. Only in the holidays: 15% As the crowd was gathering actors posed as dealers, Both in term and holidays: 60% making their way through the groundlings while 7. What’s the best fiction book you have read in the another actor, posing as a transvestite, drifted through last year? the crowd preparing us for a lively performance full of cross dressing and sexual ambiguity. About an hour Most popular were the Harry Potters and The Cherubs into the play I looked around expecting to see the 8. What’s the best non-fiction book you have read in Radley mob with hoodies up and phones glowing yet the last year? instead all eyes were trained on the stage. Though the Most popular were The World According to Clarkson, film had been somewhat sour this performance was the Johnny Wilkinson biography and the Andrew lively and very funny as several characters brought the Flintoff biography stage to life with lively interpretations of lines which we had thought to be perfectly clean. The cast 9. How many books do you think you might read over communicated well with the groundlings and made the the summer? performance interactive providing an idea of what an 2-3 (average) Elizabethan audience might have experienced. 10. Are you intending to read the final Harry Potter At the interval we stocked up with ice creams and jelly book by the end of the holidays? beans and surprisingly there was even some Yes: 52.5%, No: 37.5%, Maybe: 10% intellectual conversation which put a smile on HC’s face as he now knew that all his furious noting during the performance was not in vain. Just before re- It is heartening that three quarters of Radleians admit entering the north tower and returning to our seats a to finding reading a way to relax and that the average few boys rushed from the bar area and claimed that it number of books read a year per boy is seven (one was imperative that they get the front seats. On asking respondent is guilty of ploughing thorough a massive why, I found out that one member of the set had made 40 books a year!). 2 to 3 of the books will be read in some very intimate eye contact with a girl below. the holidays, with the final Harry Potter being a popular choice. Although we tend towards the Harry In the closing stages of the play all were captivated by Potter end of the scale, there is a pretty even balance the stage action, even the love-struck idiot sitting in between fiction and non-fiction. The most popular front of me. The finale was very slick and at this point books seem to be sport-based biographies. all attention was focused on the stage where all the characters ended up married. Sadly, this was not the case for our Bassanio.

64 THE RADLEY COLLEGE CHRONICLE 6 July 2007 LORD OF THE FLIES THE SHELL PLAY 13 & 15 JUNE, THE THEATRE After being impressed by the standard of the Haddon speech sounded awkward due to some bizarre Cup, we were greatly looking forward to the Shells’ intonations and this was not helped by the quietness of production of Lord of the Flies. A play about a group many of the actors and their lack of clarity. The very of schoolboys descending into anarchy would seem to nature of the characters they were playing did not be a fitting choice for a Shell year group, and we seem to quite remove them enough from their usual looked forward to an entertaining and thought Radley selves; the costumes, Radley school uniform provoking performance. including gowns in some cases, highlighted this For those ‘cultural peasants’ who are unaware of the further. Certainly in the opening scene of the play one’s disbelief was not suspended due to this fact – as story of Lord of the Flies, it goes something like this: a the play advanced in time the costumes were cleverly large group of school children are in a plane which crashes and strands them on a tropical island. They set ripped, torn, and covered in dirt and dust, and this was a good move in order to show progression. Of course, about trying to organise themselves but this fails and these are school boys and so school uniform is they divide into factions. The rise of violence as a way appropriate, but in this case it would have been more of surviving, starting with fights and scraps at the appropriate to move away from the Radley one. beginning, and escalating into the decapitating of a pig and even the killing of each other, is a theme However, notable performances came from Alex throughout. The leaders of the two factions are Ralph, George (F) playing Jack, George Carter (D) playing a popular boy who is elected to be chief at the Ralph, and Tom Bolton (G) as Piggy. George and beginning and Jack, the head of the choir who Carter had a reasonable amount of chemistry between constantly tries to undermine and usurp him. them, although at times it seemed the only way to get Eventually, Jack leads his group, the savage, spear- across the anger and hatred was to shout, and this carrying hunters of the pack, away from the others and became tiresome. Bolton showed glimmers of they terrorize their former companions, culminating in excellence as Piggy, portraying the bullied and the murder of Piggy, the cleverest and most sensible of vulnerable feel well, and his glasses and portly belly the group, but nonetheless he is ignored and added to the look enormously. A scene which stood victimised. The story ends with the deus ex machina of out particularly was where Simon, played by Alex a ship’s captain coming ashore and rescuing them, Poole (G) went mad after seeing the Lord of the Flies, thus saving them from further pain. a dead pig’s head on a stick. This was a fine piece of acting, and a difficult one at that too. The madness was The set was the true show piece of this production: a large broken aeroplane dominated the stage, with expertly conveyed to the audience through the quick and jagged movements and speech, and it was one of various associated paraphernalia scattered around such as seats, drinks trolleys, and wheels. One wing stuck the few places where the clarity and diction were spot on. out from the back of the stage which provided a useful perching point many times during the play. The The play was only an hour long and this did not seem fuselage itself stretched from bottom left to top right to really allow the plot to develop. The audience and was used as a ramp for actors to walk up into the understood the main storyline and themes but some of middle of the island, represented by an upper floor. the subtler points of the play were left unexplained. The whole backdrop was draped in leaves, creating a What, for example, was the significance of the pig’s very effective feel of being surrounded by jungle, head, never revealed as being the ‘Lord of the Flies’? contrasting with the yellow, sandy stage to mimic the Moreover, the descent into savagery seemed too beach. sudden and the underlying reasons for it were not fully demonstrated. Lighting design and control were also particularly effective, especially in the final third of the This performance seemed to be too rushed and the performance with day turning to night. The all blue acting was, for the most part, uninspiring. One was wash of the second third really added to the also left disappointed that the strongly allegorical atmosphere of night. Backstage boys were on the ball nature if the book did not come through – either from when changing the set and controlling the lighting, a lack of understanding but probably due to the time making the performance much slicker. constraints. Nevertheless, there were a couple of glimpses of good acting talent and the set was The acting was disappointing compared to some other astounding. recent productions, most notably Oliver Twist, and some impressive Haddon Cup mini-plays. Often 65 6 July 2007 THE RADLEY COLLEGE CHRONICLE

PROFESSIONALIZATION In Radley’s earliest days, the College hierarchy What you can’t get, though, is the extras: the cricket, concerned themselves with only two things: chapel, producing regular members of the England XI; the and schoolwork. The Precentor directed the choir; rowing, feeding steadily into the Oxbridge boat race dons taught lessons in School (now the Library) and crews, and even sometimes doing well at Henley; the the surrounding classrooms; the dormitory was policed rugby, with unbeaten teams (sadly never the 1sts); the by the prefects and only in dire emergencies was a don choir, singing regularly to a fantastic standard; the summoned. orchestra, performing concertos in London concert halls; the drama – plays from every year group, it Everything else was organised by the boys. If there was an orchestra, it was arranged by boys; if there was seems, and West Side Story to come; and the many small things: the fencing lessons; the polo team; the a football team (Radley football or one of the new- fangled games) it was arranged by boys; if there was a beagles; the golf course; the chess club; the Caledonian society... I could go on for pages, but just play, it was arranged, directed, the sets constructed, read the opening of the Grey Book, and you will see and the costumes assembled by boys. Boys formed clubs and societies – with the supervision of a don, as what I mean. now, but the don took a back seat and was only there So the College couldn’t sit back and let these things be to ensure the boys were not plotting sedition. They done in an amateur way. If parents judged us on arranged matches: the captain of the first XI would whether we won at Henley, clearly we couldn’t leave write to his opposite number at St Edward’s, or the boys in charge. If the out of tune orchestra Bradfield, to fix a match, and then try to persuade a offended them, it must be knocked into shape by a don to take them. professional hand. Even the beagles – last bastions of boy organisation – have a kennel huntsman who in Looking at Radley today, it is hard to find a relic of this past. The Precentor has long since taken charge of practice supervises their every move, even if the boys still write the letters, make the speeches and (lucky the orchestras, chamber groups, barbershop quartets, them) wash down the yards at 7.30am every day. and even rock music is now given official sanction – we have a head of Guitar, and official College rock Of course, this means that the standards of these extra- competitions. Games are now so professionalized that curricular activities are just as high as the academic we appoint Directors of Rowing and Hockey work which is intended to be the core of a boy’s time principally for their sports coaching prowess, and only at Radley. But have we perhaps lost something – do incidentally for their teaching ability. We even have boys have the independence of organisation and professionals in some sports – the tireless Bert motivation they once had? Sometimes, I do wonder. Robinson, or the ever youthful Mark Hubbard, for example. And what could be more professional than our new theatre, complete with Director of Drama and a full-time technician? So what happened? Well, principally a change in the purpose of private education. Originally, it was about educating boys better than they could be educated elsewhere – on strictly academic terms. Radley, like many of the schools founded in the wake of Arnold’s reforms at Rugby, added a moral dimension – one of its founding principles was that boys should treat each other with decency. But during the twentieth century parents increasingly came to see the extras as the distinguishing factor. You can get a pretty decent education at a state school, in strictly academic terms, as those who watched the recent television series How the Other Half Learns will have seen. Of course, you need to be motivated, bright and tough to cope with the less motivated, less bright and much tougher people you will be surrounded by – certainly somewhere like Wells, the independent school featured in the programme, is a nicer environment, even if it did have compulsory CCF. 66 THE RADLEY COLLEGE CHRONICLE 6 July 2007

WEST SIDE STORY CONCERT 24 JUNE, THE THEATRE Leonard Bernstein’s West Side Story is arguably the these songs seemed to be pitched perfectly within his greatest musical of all time and certainly my favourite: range. His performance of Something’s Coming was its spectacular songs and supreme emotional clout light and optimistic and his duet Tonight with Nonie propel it from being just a musical to a romantic, tragic Cockburn (Maria), whose diminutive stature belied a opera. Such, though, is its fame and musical demands potent singing voice, was exhilarating and emotive, as that it simply cannot be done badly. It must be done to One Hand, One Heart was poignant and heart-rending, perfection or else not at all. coming as it does before the gangs’ fatal confrontation. This is epitomised in the Full Company’s rendition of Natalie Batten as Anita was fittingly vivacious and Tonight before the fatal denouement in which the two sang with a real vim and vigour in America. The rival leaders, Riff and Bernardo, are killed. It is Sharks’ girls provided sterling back-up, as they did pointless performing it unless one renders effectively also on the frivolous and joyful I Feel Pretty. The Jets, the poignant juxtaposition of the lovers’ soaring led by Theo Whitworth (C) as Riff, got their chance in avowal of their boundless adoration of one another, the Jet Song that kicked the evening off energetically; Anita’s excitement at her liaison with Bernardo, and Cool, which was, well, cool; and Gee, Officer Krupke, the relentless, ominous thudding beat of the two gangs which provides timely comic re lief from the underneath as they march against one another. exhausting emotional turbulence of the rest of the play. Thankfully, the Radley cast (clad smartly all in black) Maria and Anita rounded things off with the executed it flawlessly, as they did every single song of immaculately performed A Boy Like That and I Have A this concert. A few years ago, we would not have been Heart. able to put on such a spectacle; such has been Stephen It is testament to the enduring quality of the songs and Clarke’s revolution of Radley music that now such a the excellence of the company’s performances that the grand project can be accomplished. Of course, work audience was spellbound for the entire recital; on the on the acting and dancing has not yet begun; but this up-beat numbers we not was an extremely only tapped our feet but impressive start. The (subtly) swayed bodies to group was impeccably the rhythms, and in the conducted by SDJC, with tear-jerkers we sat AJAW at the Steinway motionless, caught up in and TMM making the the passion of the lovers noises of an entire and the sadness of the orchestra on a keyboard. story. It will be There were some familiar fascinating to watch the faces from the choir, but audience reaction when also some singers who the actors and actresses were refreshingly not, are dressed in full such as Will Summerlin costume on set, fusing (F) and Mark Crawford their singing abilities to (C). honed dance moves. This Stand-outs were, production has the obviously, the central potential to be awesome, protagonists. Alex Rose and we await its staging (C) was, quite simply, in November with bated brilliant. We haven’t yet breath. seen his acting, but his BEN REEKES (OR) tenor voice is undeniably a thing of beauty, and

67 6 July 2007 THE RADLEY COLLEGE CHRONICLE POETS’ CORNER An occasional column of poetry from all corners of College. This issue we print offerings from two guest poets together with commentaries from some of our Vth Form Editors. NOT MY BEST POEM of irony running through the Poet’s discourse as whilst she implies that she cannot write, what we are left I reading flows in an efficacious manner. Not my best poem, I’m afraid: The pride of the second stanza’s protagonist, the So unattractive as to be almost unreadable Publisher, in her professional decisions is conveyed by But they didn’t notice at the time. the structural form. The emphatic separation of the Footers and headers are bad publicity; qualitative adjective, ‘green’ from its ascribed noun, Just the opening has a deformed neck, ‘Anthology’, is created by the enjambment; in effect, The closing has square words the potency of the structural schism is commensurate And the bulk is ostentatiously meaningless. with the gravity of the choice. The accentuation Perhaps I don’t mind the editing. induced by this hyperbolic schism displays the II persona’s confidence in this editorial decision; this Now, it’s hard for a publisher to know what to assuredness progresses to the point of schadenfreude, Enjoy. I mean, I quite took to the poem – green in the deliberate answer to the question, ‘Is that overly skin, cruel?’ Rugged-type face, end-stop lines, enjambment – The English teacher portrayed in the third stanza And the form was so nicely physical. possesses a degree of pomposity and officiousness, I fancied it in a really bright green which manifests itself in the self-congratulation of his Anthology, driving poor English teachers mad. figurative rhetoric. Her metaphorical discussions of his Is that overly cruel? Probably. advice being ‘nuggets to treasure’ is a representation Still, I had to think of my profits. of such ostentation. This evoked egocentricity is III emphasised by the antistrophe of the first person I have an MA in poetrificational criticism; pronouns. This ploce causes the ironic meiosis of his My exam top tips are still on the secret list; response to the question of the final line to be all the My mouth muscles have an autopilot: more prominent; the carefree, elliptical syntax of Everything I say is a quotable nugget to treasure. ‘Giving up English?’ is certainly not representative of Don’t you want to be taught by the pain that this widespread annual phenomenon Me? Don’t you realise that by choosing causes English teachers, and Funthought’s ironic Me you’re gaining university prospects? portrayal of an English teacher has proven to be Giving up English? Whatever. You’re in my way. extremely poignant. Funthought tacitly implies that English teachers aspire themselves to edit anthologies, HEY U. FUNTHOUGHT or at least to write poems rather than unravel them; this metametapsychodelisic sadness runs the piece, and several others of this poet; she herself expressed, With a certain definition of poetry in mind – ‘a in an interview at the Basingstoke Festival last year, a marriage of stanzaic form and narrative content’ – regret that she had not been given the chance to edit a Funthought positively extends literary boundaries by GCSE anthology of her own. selecting the triptych form. Imitating the medieval tripartite masterpiece St Ursula and the Poem Given the superficiality of today’s education system, Funthought delves into disparate consciences, into the Funthought has thought it apt to explore the cognitions psyches of three protagonists whose seemingly of the much marginalised characters that comprise the paradoxical attitudes have, nonetheless, a clear backbone of Edexcel’s formidable GCSE English professional co-dependency. bureaucracy: the Poet, the Anthology Publisher, and the English Teacher. Funthought has directed the The narrative persona representative of the Poet reader’s attention to some concealed aspects of each reveals her apathy towards her potential readers, character’s anima by using lucid rhetorical and listeners and publishers by her use of pronouns within syntactical devices. Thus, Funthought portrays the her lexis. The impersonal use of the pronoun ‘they’ in transplantation of conceptual material, from the artistic the third line evokes her antipathy and disdain toward demesne into that of the GCSE candidate, and the her prospective audience. This revelation surely piece is most striking in its evocation of the diligence reveals the fact that she is oblivious to the fact that her and solicitousness that is undergone in this process, prospective audience are left with her bathetically anti- regardless of the disdain in which the candidates climatic effort. However there is a preponderant thread themselves treat the material. 68 THE RADLEY COLLEGE CHRONICLE 6 July 2007 DEATH OF A NATURIST it like it is, using words like ‘marmaladepotfuls’ and ‘spew’ that would not be heard in polite company. His All summer I festered in the foetid heat selection of this neologised adjective Of the bogland; turgid prose rotted in my mind ‘marmaladepotfuls’ reveals obdurately childish lexis Weighted down by boggy words slopping softly to be a component of his undeveloped bog-psyche. Like slobber and plop and snug and sod. Seamy’s intention in this work is epitomised by an Flax was a swearword. Mum wouldn’t have it astute use of paraprosdokian: ‘…slobbery clotted air In the house. But at the flax-dam I could ink it filled/The air’ is lacerated by an enjambment that In the shade of my bog-book. Jellied surprises us with a repetition-reinforcement. The Was another, but I rather liked the poignant schism seems to encapsulate the adolescent Sound of spawn, when someone said spawn. psyche suspended in transition. Furthermore, the I would lie naked among the flitting bluebottles fractured nature of this descriptive verse connotes the Feasting on the glutinous mass volatile polarities of an adolescent’s solipsistic Of the flax-dam. Marmaladepotfuls of slobbery conscience. clotted air filled The poem makes extensive use of onomatopoeia The air. The daddy flax was called a bullflax (‘slobber and plop and snug and sod’), assonance And he made thick warm flaxspawn globules. (‘Sound of spawn, when someone said spawn’); Green bottles floated in the rancid gunge. I didn’t tautology – bordering on pleonasm (‘slobber and plop want to and snug and sod’) and profanity (‘Flax’) among other Get my coarse shorts dirty so, bare-bottied on the poncy techniques. These incontrovertibly hint at bank, Seamy losing his virginity down at the flax-dam. The I reach for cow arse-dung floating on the rank slime. poem is clearly about a coming of age; the first stanza A gauze of bog-sound fumes splurge up – contains words like ‘mum’ gives it a childish feel, The Warm gargle swelter mudpool spewing fart – second stanza reflects nostalgically on the language of Words from the Irish bog-bottom, his bog childhood, and the third is surely about the Words from my childhood deed itself. Scavenging for bog flax in my birthday suit. In Death of a Naturist Seamy circumscribes his But one day when the air was full of flax mother’s hate of the swearword ‘flax’; this pre- And, sodden in the grass, I lay breathing lightly occupation is seen through the poem with the use of Stealing pots of bog-spawn from the toxic spume, flaxen, and ‘Flax!’ itself as a shocking interjection. A sinful dragonfly, buzzing in the flaxen air bit me. (Remember that flax was still a four letter word in Flax! After that I wore long flaxen shorts those days.) It’s a powerful metaphysical argument for Down at the flax-dam in the boggy detail childhood innocence too. The protagonist, still a small Of my childhood. The great buzz-kings boy, feels free to slip out of his ‘course flaxen’ shorts Had gathered there for vengeance and I knew and lie on the bank fishing for slime, as was a popular If I stripped off again they would eat me. leisure activity at the time. The shorts represent the HEINOUS SEAMY stifling Catholic inhibitions of his parents’ house, and the slime, wherein all manner of ploppy boggy words

are found, is the future craftsman’s clay from which he Death of a Naturist is the second in Seamy’s seminal will fashion poetry. The tautology of ‘arse-dung’ collection Bare Earth. This powerful first person multiplies the significance, as if the author is account is Bildungsromanian in its scope: it details the accentuating for us the provenance of this countryside exploits of a boy collecting flaxspawn, an important currency. The tautology, though, is duplicitously commodity in the boglands, from the beautifully- effective and ineffective as the reader knows very well described flax-dam – ‘rancid gunge’, ‘toxic spume’. from where ‘dung’ would come from: therein lies the The narrator’s childlike wonder relates the simple subtlety of Seamy’s pen, a subtlety that resounds with details with such freshness and innocence; this ‘close introspective phantasmagorical ruminations about to nature-ism’ is surely what Seamy, on some level, is flaxcentric bouts of denudation. The result: a chef driving at. d’oeuvre. The narrator draws us in: a visit to the flax-dam goes Some works have a way of remaining with one, wrong. He feels attacked by the ‘buzz-kings’ and flees. viscerally ingraining itself vehemently into one’s soul, His interest in freedom has fled too and he now covers refracting even the most mundane through one’s up to prevent being bitten in sensitive areas – the end newly-trained eye into something wondrous. Death of of naturism suggested in the poem’s title – and of a Naturist is surely the finest example of bog verse in course this is a metaphor for the circuitousness of the language. adult language compared to childish language. He tells 69 6 July 2007 THE RADLEY COLLEGE CHRONICLE H SOCIAL SUMMER CONCERT 2007 MAY 19, SILK HALL This year’s H Social Summer Concert – or ‘Cultural No one expected The Spanish Inquisition when the Evening’ to other Socials (perhaps this would be a tad program stated that last year’s Shells would be euphemistic in H Social’s case) – once again held all performing another Monty Python sketch as Removes. of the quirks, qualities, and seemingly non-stop It was fantastic, with the effervescent George Service laughter (most of it coming from a very jovial Mr and co. bringing a smile to many people’s faces. The Edwards) of its predecessors. Of course this was no VI.1s, along with a few boys from other years, put on ordinary evening, they never are, and the boys, sub- a Dad’s Army sketch, featuring that truly memorable tutors and tutor made sure that this was as unique as quote ‘Don’t tell him Pike!’ Special mentions go to Ed the previous three. Parsons, Henry Barrow, Milo Wasserman and Luke It would be impossible to name every act so I will Gibson, for their performances. However, a more experienced Ed Smalley staged a wonderful extract endeavour to mention a few general themes and from Don Juan in Soho. A rather accurate take on highlights and apologise to those who aren’t mentioned. The evening began with a rousing, and today’s self-obsessed lifestyles, delivered with wit, timing and with no lack of sincerity. rather startling, tune on the bagpipes, performed by James Fleming. There was a fantastic rendition of What Social evening would be complete without some Poulenc by Seb Lomas on his flute, and H dancing? H Social was certainly on great form for its Social’s resident pianist, Jonny Williams, gave, as choreography, as there was a lot of gyrating. There usual, a wonderful performance of some Brahms, were some good performances from the younger part much to the great pleasure of the audience. Ben Rowse of the Social such as the Shells being represented by was accompanied by the illustrious DCKE in a Alex Donger, Humphrey Laidlaw, Sam Horbye and performance of When the Saints on the accordion. Oscar Richards in suits, white shirts and Blues Improvements were noticed on last year’s adaptation Brothers-esque hats, dancing to Destination Calabria and we wait in eager anticipation for what they might by Alex Gaudino. Well put together, with good timing, perform next year. this was a real crowd pleaser. Rory Mounsey- Heysham and Charlie Vey – head of H Social – Ed Hodgson played a rendition of What Katie Did by performed a ‘classy ballet’, to the themes of that The Libertines (accompanied by Gus Dalzell) and Strange and Beautiful by Aqualung on the piano, and fantastic show-tune from Aladdin. This was somewhat risqué, involving a lot of athletic finesse, but was fronting a group performance of Handbags and Gladrags, to the enjoyment of the boys, and certainly thoroughly enjoyed by all. As has become a tradition the VI.2s performed their ‘interpretive’ dancing, to a much of the rest of the audience. Along a more rather startled crowd. Unfortunately it is safe to say classical theme Jamie Watkiss sang a wonderful (though slightly too quiet) solo from La Traviata by that this year it was slightly more inappropriate (if that is possible) than last year. Beginning with some Giuseppe Verdi with a special mention going to his ballroom dancing in dinner-jackets and dresses, it soon father for providing a wonderful accompaniment on the piano. began to degrade into something of a slightly less decorous show. Not that anyone was complaining, The imaginatively named ‘Arthur’s Band’, with quite the opposite, although many will bear the mental Arthur Laidlaw on vocals and guitar performing scars of the image of topless 18-year-old boys in black Should I Stay or Should I Go by The Clash, tights and white Y-fronts for years to come. demonstrated perfectly how to perform loud guitar and drum music in the Silk Hall. Unfortunately we did not The evening finished in usual H Social fashion: with the whole Social singing and dancing to a song. get the full deck of H Social sub-tutors for reasons Naturally these songs have to be well known so this unknown: it was only the male contingent consisting of TRGR, HGCC, JRS, HC, MKTH and of course year it was the Queen classics We Will Rock You and We Are the Champions, with special mentions to ‘The DCKE. They performed a barbershop version of My Doc’ (JRS) for his fantastic vocal solo and MKTH for Evaline, in perfect, lilting harmony. Jazzing it up was H Social’s own ‘Big Band’, playing Cute. Equally his air guitar jam. Naturally, the singing and dancing was done with great enthusiasm and was accompanied jazzy were the sax quartet with Five Foot Two, Eyes Of Blue. Both pieces were well put together and were by a lot of singlets and various other revealing, inappropriate and profane T-shirts. An awesome finale obviously well rehearsed. to another fantastic Summer Concert, and we all wait expectantly for next year.

70 THE RADLEY COLLEGE CHRONICLE 6 July 2007 UNEXPECTED LOSERS Whenever a controversial ban, such as the Smoking unexpected consequences pop up the second the ban, is put in place or a law is passed there always seemingly beneficial ban is enforced. Take the passive seem to be unintended consequences that spring up the smoking argument. Sure, with the ban in place there moment the ban is put in place. To the further will be fewer waiters and co-workers suffering but if annoyance of the government, these consequences the smokers aren’t smoking in the pubs and restaurants almost always seem to undermine the point of said law then there are very few places left for him to smoke. or ban. Homes will be one of the few sanctuaries left where It is unlikely that there is a single Radley boy or Don smokers will not be incriminated for their habit. Consequently, some of the most at danger, babies and who does not have an opinion on the Smoking Ban young children, will face the brunt of a smokers habit. which is being enforced on July 1. Therefore for those protesters among the Radley community I hope that The next rather odd impact is the increase in demand these few ironic consequences may help to alleviate for chefs. Smoking and drinking tend to go hand-in- the general disgruntlement. hand, this leaves pubs and bars hoping to increase the quality of their food to offset possible drop in alcohol If you were to ask your average anti-smoking sales. England has seen a 37% rise in job opinionated passer by the reasons for the Smoking ban then that person would most likely give you three advertisements for chefs in the last year, but their just aren’t enough chefs to go around. Wages are expected points. You would hear the on-going passive smoking to increase dramatically as pub-food hastens to attract argument, backed up with references to bars and waitresses and co-workers. the punters. This may seem like a good thing, but pubs are luring away professional chefs from restaurants to This argument is followed by the confident answer enhance their pub food with the offer of a higher that, with the ban, people will slowly stop smoking salary. because it becomes inconvenient for them to continue. Then, if our speaker is particularly fanatical or up to Village pubs are soon to be kicking their smokers into the street to ease their cravings, no bad thing one date with current affairs, he or she might argue that might think: workers have better conditions and the with the predicted decrease in people smoking, we will be putting fewer harmful gases into the atmosphere atmosphere becomes more enjoyable for the non- smokers. But, think about the locals. The general noise and so aiding the ‘Global Warming problem’. Now, of laughter and chatting will you may be thinking ‘that’s ridiculous: smoking won’t no longer we contained in the building, but will be free to any effect on the waft through windows and environment’, but that’s where you’re wrong. wake up the poor old granny down the street. Although the actual smoke from a cigarette creates It has even been claimed that, minimal damage, the with all the smokers secondary effects of the ban evacuating the club, bar or may be far worse. As restaurant at regular intervals, smokers are forced out of it may encourage more bars and restaurants to people to take up the habit. nourish their addiction, it is Northern Ireland, Scotland in the interest of the landlord and Wales already have a ban to make them as comfortable in place and it has appeared as possible. The number one not uncommon for people to issue is keeping warm. The leave the pub with their ban is expected to send sales friends, rather than being left of gas-heated patio umbrellas alone outside and start through the roof, the result smoking too. being a huge energy waste, in fact enough energy to So I hope that, from this article, I have armed each and make 400 cups of tea ever hour per umbrella, so I am every smoker at Radley, boys and dons, ‘after nine’ told by Friends of the Earth. golfers and tennis players with a list of reasons to All in all, the speaker should be allowed to relax rattle off when that annoying person starts telling you because he seems to have argued pretty well and made about all the benefits of the ban. all the main points. So it is always strange how the

71 6 July 2007 THE RADLEY COLLEGE CHRONICLE WORK EXPERIENCE Two Vths report back on their very different post-GCSE ‘work experiences’ COMMONS DIARY day before with only a few familiar faces. A point which I had noticed the day before was made very While most Vths were fetching coffee, photocopying or clear when hearing the rapport amongst the MPs, simply bunking off in the South of France or North including many digs at the Cabinet who were largely Cornwall, the Chronicle had a man working for Owen expected to be reshuffled the next day but also some Paterson (OR) MP) in the Houses of Parliament for a rather quick thinking directed at the Tories due to the week: here is a brief account of the events of a very desertion of Quentin Davies MP to Labour a few hours important week in British politics. previously. I finished the day attending a Select Monday 25 June Committee which grilled four senior Foreign Office officials (interesting as one was the father of a friend I arrived at the Houses of Parliament early in the of mine and the other was a friend of my parents). It is morning to be directed through some incredibly startling how much politics goes on behind the scenes thorough security checks: all my pockets were emptied of which the general public are largely unaware and their contents scanned, my passport was flicked through and the burly policeman who was frisking me Wednesday 27 June found some pens in my pocket and proceeded to take The big day: today Blair will face his last ever Prime each one apart and examine them (though a not Minister’s Questions before handing in his resignation unfamiliar experience after my experiences of the to the Queen. The police presence when I arrive in the Barker Gym). Arriving in the Central Lobby, my morning is phenomenal and I receive scrutinising attention was drawn to two screens with the day’s looks on my way in. Unfortunately I was unable to get events on it, astonished by the author’s appalling grasp a ticket to PMQs, but I watched it from the office of English. Starting work, I was immediately assigned before heading out to lunch. I walked down Whitehall to updating some pages on the website, where my only and was astonished by the number of police and ever IT lesson on HTML proved to be rather useful protestors (some for incredibly obscure and frankly (not that every other IT lesson I’ve ever done hasn’t pointless causes). In the late afternoon, we were joined been useful…). by a rather crazy and foul-smelling lobbyist arguing I was lucky enough to be able to attend the Prime for the removal of speed cameras and raising speed Minister’s presentation to the House following his limits in the interests of road safety. Quite what he was return from the European Constitutional Treaty talks getting at, I didn’t really understand and a bit of in Brussels. Being there, you realise just how good research that evening confirmed my impression that he Blair is in debate and I, as well as others I spoke to was completely mad and that most of his arguments afterwards, were struck by how Cameron’s (not to could be rubbished. mention everyone else’s) arguments were shot down. Thursday 28 June My enjoyment of the debate was somewhat marred by Today I went to the House of Lords for the first time the man behind me who, for some reason, seemed to which was, in many ways, far more interesting than think he was a living expert on UK politics because he the Commons because I wasn’t separated by a 5-inch could name about four of the people who were thick bullet-proof, sound-proof, hunt-protestor-proof speaking, seemed to revel in complimenting Blair glass screen. I committed a bit of a faux pas before loudly at every opportunity. I returned to the office entering, not hearing the persistent – and ever and was fortunate to meet Bill Cash MP (probably the loudening – order by the Sergeant at Arms that I most Euro-sceptic in the Commons) who burst in should stand while the Mace was being carried in. exclaiming ‘Got him!’ unfathomably referring to some The action was a lot more civilised than in the deduction he had made about Brown’s cabinet during Commons, but they seemed to take about ten times the the debate. amount of time debating each point and – although attendance is voluntary – many seemed to have come Tuesday 26 June there to have a quiet nap in the corner. I went to lunch Having received a security pass the previous morning, in the Houses of Parliament canteen and got stuck for I breezed through the police on my way in on 10 minutes, completely unable to get out as every Tuesday. I continued work on the website, this time single exit seemed to require a pass code which was a trying to work out how on earth the Work Experience rather alarming experience. person before me had managed to screw up the website quite as monumentally as he had done. I Friday 29 June attended another debate, this time on the Health Another exciting day: before I arrived this morning Service, which was not quite as well attended as the some incredibly (even suspiciously) incompetent

72 THE RADLEY COLLEGE CHRONICLE 6 July 2007 terrorists crashed a car into a building in Haymarket, tube station at the cross roads with my very basic map, 10 minutes down the road, so naturally security checks it was only natural that I tried the first three roads were thorough and I got searched for the first time before eventually finding the correct direction down since the beginning of the week. However, once Oxford Street on the fourth attempt. Still, my regular inside it must be true to say that I was in just about the experiences with the Regimental Sergeant Proctor at safest place in the UK so I was feeling about as happy school ensured that I had left plenty of time and as someone can be who has been within a mile of 2 or fortunately arrived in time to hear Chris Moyles sign 3 separate attempted terrorist attacks. off for the day on the reception radio. To spend a week in such a hub of political activity was Much like our rings rooms, the rather small three story an extremely interesting experience, especially production building had a kitchen on the top floor, considering the significant events of the week. It is where I found my new colleagues eating toast and something I’d recommend to anyone with an interest marmalade, discussing just how drunk they had got the in politics who would not be happy with the coffee- night before. I introduced myself and was given the making, photocopying, mind-bogglingly boring trials Health and Safety briefing by a man who was of ordinary work experience. obviously quite intent on doing his job to the highest JAMIE CROLE (H) of standards: ‘Now I know you won’t know what this is because Mummy does all the washing up at home for you, but this is the hot tap, which gives hot water, WELCOME TO so don’t burn yourself.’ I was sure that there was a cheap jibe in there somewhere. ‘These are the female THE REAL WORLD toilets – under absolutely no circumstances are you to Overwhelming relief sweeps over you as you walk out go in there.’ School certainly didn’t tell me that, so I of the Barker Gym from your final GCSE exam. This suppose someone had to. lasts a while but wears off all too quickly in favour of After signing various forms removing their liability for apprehension when you remember the ‘work me, I spent most of the day watching two of the guys experience’ lined up in the weeks ahead. On the editing a horribly modernised series of Postman Pat horizon is the best summer ever: parties, girls, destined for the other side of the pond; it was truly beaches, and whatever else floats your boat are on the inspiring. This structure of day repeated itself, and I cards for a whole two months – with no work hanging pretty quickly learnt to buy a paper on the tube on the over you whatsoever. Before this, however, is just one way up, so that I didn’t fall asleep on the sofa in front more week of work; playing Escape from Castle of Pat and his multi-racial cat, which would have been Wolfenstein with AER and his milk float on the games really rather embarrassing. On the second day I read pitches after dark certainly doesn’t count as work. The Times in its entirety for the first time ever. Twice. The concept of ‘work experience’ is an interesting one I exaggerate of course – once or twice a day I would (I put it in inverted commas because it’s a little like be despatched to Tesco to buy new things for the the Holy Roman Empire, which was not holy, not kitchen. Fortunately for me, the Tesco was quite near, Roman and not an empire). On the one hand it’s a so when I got back and found that they’d forgotten to good idea: the school rids itself of 130 bored and put the brown bread on the list as well as the white, I potentially rebellious Vth formers, and the Vths get could go back without too much of a fuss. Quite invaluable experience of what the wide world is like exciting was the fact that nearby was also a outside of a leafy campus and the Big Brother House Sainsbury’s so that I could, if I wanted, go there on Channel 4. On the other hand the country’s instead of the Tesco, exercising a teensy bit of businesses suddenly find themselves invaded by over- judgement for myself. Excitement levels climaxed polite expectant school pupils wanting to be stimulated when clients came in and various cups of tea and for an entire week. Surely the CBI notices an annual coffee were ordered. I had contemplated following the dip in productivity and a nose dive in GDP in mid wise advice of a contemporary in that if I made the June? first cup really badly, I wouldn’t get asked again. But The e-mail said Monday morning, 10am, dress casual. then I remembered the dreaded Radley form that the It could have been worse, I thought, as I trundled up guy downstairs was going to fill in, and decided that the District line with a late batch of commuters, having irreversible damage would be done to my Head of missed the early morning rush hour. The TV Social drive if my Tutor found out that I couldn’t even production company I spent a week at, which, for legal make a decent cup of tea. To vary things slightly, I and health reasons, shall remain anonymous, is based was also asked to go out to my preferred supermarket up in Soho, just off Oxford Street. Now I don’t know and buy and arrange some flowers for reception. Now that area of Oxford Street very well, even though I live that really is something Radley doesn’t teach you. in London, and so, as I left Tottenham Court Road

73 6 July 2007 THE RADLEY COLLEGE CHRONICLE My contribution to the company’s work that week was suspect many more, spend an enormous amount of minimal but, writing this a week on, I have realised time on Facebook at work, unlike us of course, that this is not the point. Although it was not the most although they don’t have the joy of locked down non- stimulating of times, I did gain from the experience: I access academic time. Most importantly however, I learnt a huge amount. I learnt that many workplaces learnt that whatever I do in later life, it will not involve are more laid back than one would think. I learnt that the evening rush hour Tube. you can get spectacularly pissed on a Sunday night BEN SHEEN (C) and still turn up for work on a Monday morning in reasonable condition. I learnt that these people, and I

CLASSICS TRIP TO ATHENS EASTER 2007 As European capital cities go, Athens was not coach, captained by Dimitrios the Greek, which took impressive. Neither was the Hotel Balasca. The locals us to the picturesque Temple of Poseidon where, along had a tendency of lifting luggage from unsuspecting with the spectacular views of the Mediterranean, coaches, we were told when we arrived, so we had to allowed us to see Byron’s name carved in a column. grab our bags and run for the hotel entrance. We had Dimitrios then drove us along the long route to Delphi reached the stale smokiness of the faux-marble with the mountainous surroundings during the journey reception safely when an irate Greek followed us appreciated by all, except by Asa Bennett (C) who was through the glass doors. He accosted Dr Hall and rather more absorbed in his Gameboy. accused a Radleian classicist of shooting out of the The excitement of the prospect of the Delphic disco back window of a car. An unfazed Dr Hall replied: was building as several Hawaiian girls were spotted ‘Aaahhh. I don’t think so – you see, we’ve just come strutting on the balconies of the hotel opposite, from the airport.’ prompting a number of Radleians to remove clothing Our rooms were warm and spacious and after in a macho display. The disco scene nevertheless unpacking we descended to enjoy a communal remained distinctly male and Radleian until their continental supper with some of our brothers and arrival fifteen minutes from time. sisters from the European Union. I say ‘supper’, but it We headed onwards with purpose to Olympia via an consisted of a cheese slab (this term first used by Jake intriguing monastery, with a free supply of Greek Cheetham (A)), some dubious meat and luminescent (Turkish) delight, much to the delight of Alex jelly. DWSR was then given the eye by a French Eatalotta Panacotta Derricotta (H) (named, again, by classics student during his post-supper debriefing. Jake), and a disturbing monk corpse with a claw. At Unsurprisingly, we changed hotel the following Olympia we were accompanied on site by somewhat morning to the much more classy, if not yet complete, morose Americans who enjoyed James Macfarlane’s Crystal City. (A) attempts to run the Stade naked, only to be On the next day we visited the Acropolis: while side- reprimanded by the plain-clothes Greek authorities stepping hordes of oriental tourists sporting the latest with whistles. That night James Mason (A) accosted surgical maskware and the odd rabid canine, the sites some friendly Italians and the one called Barbara fed were readily absorbed by all. In the Agora PWG could him brownies in the Zeus bar. CDS and Bennett had not seem to get enough of the fornicating frogs which their Scrabble grudge match interrupted by the hotel were readily in abundance, or indeed the first sighting staff’s rage at Harry Taylor (A) who was helpfully of a Greek HooPoo. But a number of the Remove year putting ornamental logs on the hotel fire. DWSR, on the trip decided to take the opportunity presented meanwhile, during the same Scrabble game by the market to purchase an extortionately-priced honourably neglected to strike with his combination of shisha hookah. With this purchase they proceeded to letters making a fairly obvious rude word. burn a hole in a Crystal City bath towel, much to the Our final destination was Tolon, which is to Germany dismay of the Greek laundry staff and SAG who had what Falaraki and Grand Canaria are to some sections to confiscate it. of Britain. James Macfarlane (A) managed to get Following an embarrassing 4-1 Greek defeat by himself chucked out of the hotel restaurant for Turkey in football, we were lucky enough to witness a watering the plastic flowers. SAG had given us a demonstration of Greek military might with a rather warning about the Gorilla Bar and Club and it didn’t comical martial parade past our hotel to mark the disappoint: with Bennett pole-dancing the night away National Day. DWSR kindly procured for us a new at the side of the bar, much fun was had by all.

74 THE RADLEY COLLEGE CHRONICLE 6 July 2007 LE CERCLE D’EUROPE EASTER 2007 The inhabitants of the small Parisian suburb of Europeans; l’ice had certainement been broken. Asnières were largely unaware of the cohorts of On Friday we were sent out on an orienteering European teenagers being shipped in from all the exercise in Paris. It was a ‘cold pathetic fallacy’ of a corners of Europe to live in their small town for ten day (as Alex Easdale (A) put it in the Journal days. d’Avenir) and although morale was high at first, the As we lazily boarded the small white bus from weather quickly ground us down – except for a few Clocktower little did we know that some twelve hours hardcore keenos searching for that elusive monument earlier somewhere in Prague a similar sized group of or Latin inscription. Soon the rebel faction succeeded students had done the same; our common destination in their aim and we gave up all hope, finding shelter in ‘Gay Paris’. However, unlike our Czech counterparts one of the many Parisian cafés. In the evening all the we did not intend to schlep across Eastern Europe in a Radleians, plus the two girls, Claire and Tasha, that rickety Tappinzky coach to reach our destination. SB had invited to come along to dilute the Instead, in the height of style we embarked the intoxicatingly male atmosphere of our group, ate Eurostar at Waterloo direct to the Gare du Nord. It dinner in a small bistro near Notre Dame while wasn’t an entirely nouveau experience for three of us exchanging stories about the events of the day who had been to Asnières some months previously but (including one about sighting Jennifer Lopez in a for the large part of the group it was exciting. Having Virgin Megastore!). Following this we made our way negotiated the fiendish Parisian Metro we found to the River Seine where the all the European students ourselves at the gates of the Lycée de Ste Geneviève were gathered to take the Bateau Mouche tour. It was where we were issued with Cercle d’Europe T-shirts freezing so most of us huddled down below whilst we and transport cards for the week. Some of us glided through the beautiful centre of Paris. exchanged kisses and handshakes with friends from Before we knew it the weekend was upon us; being an the previous trip, whilst others began to introduce ordinary school this meant two full days off! Some of themselves more formally to the Europeans. When let the correspondents’ families went on excursions with loose we headed straight to the authentically French the étrangers but we sought out undiscovered niches Pub d’Asnières. There we met a couple of Italians, the of the French capital. Whether this involved checking Czechs and the Germans who were all comparing out the delights of Pigalle or the splendours of beer-prices and/or moaning about the absence of their Montmartre, we all had an extremely satisfying and local brew in the small pub. After a short stay at our agreeable weekend. new home from home we retired to our correspondents’ maisons for the rest of the evening. Monday, various workshops (ateliers) began. We rose early that morning in order to be outside the school Le Session d’Ice-Breaking took place in a large sports gates on time. By 8:30am the road and pavement hall close to the school. It was there that each adjacent to the Lycée had become, as one Radleian put delegation had to give a presentation. We had it, a European ‘cultural orgy’. The ateliers covered a prepared, meticulously, a song by Parisian rapper broad range of topics from cooking to literature and Grand Coeur Malade renamed L’Amour en Train. It theatre to journalism. This plethora of activities meant was performed with the usual Radleian lustre and that we were constantly being kept on our toes; if we inspired partly by the recent Dons’ Revue: it definitely weren’t sampling the atelier cuisine’s Pain au stole the show. Following some dodgy presentations Chocolats we were watching the rehearsals for from the Italians and Swedish and one that was l’atelier théâtre or giving our views on all the other completely incomprehensible from the Czechs, we participating nationalities for the Cercle d’Europe were told that in our atelier groups we would compete newspaper Le Journal d’Avenir. This was all carried in a day long volleyball championship. Jamie Randall out under the watchful eyes of the Lycée de St. (C) did the calculations and it was estimated that over Genevieve’s faculty and the various other imported eighty-six games of volleyball would have to be teachers from around Europe, including our own SB. played, much to our dismay. Mr Barlass had a significant birthday during the trip The ordinary Radleian never gets the chance to play and was on particularly good form throughout. We volleyball so it was with great enthusiasm that we took celebrated it at the Lycée, where he was presented to the court. There was a huge struggle for the title of with a hand-drawn portrait of himself, bottles of Ice-Breaking Champion but Renewable Energies came champagne and a fruity birthday cake. That evening out on top; hotly pursued by the fanatical Religious the whole European troupe visited the Town Hall for a Architecture. All in all it was an exhausting day, welcoming speech from the mayor of Asnières, a nonetheless, we all got to know some of the other relative of Sarkozy, followed by drinks. 75 6 July 2007 THE RADLEY COLLEGE CHRONICLE All of the workshops were working towards a Cercle of the surfeit of environmental problems facing us d’Europe spectacle on the Saturday. Each Atelier was today and Easdale aroused many memories from the to put on a presentation relating to their area of trip with a photo montage of all the goings-on of the interest. A huge amount of work went into making past 10 days. L’Atelier Musique performed a number sure that everything was of the highest level. The of nationally famous songs from all of the European tension was mounting, but so was the quality of our countries represented at the parliament and Theo French having now spent quite some time completely Whitworth (C), accompanied by Camille Vaillon on submerged in the Parisian way of life. As a result of bass, played the Spring Offensive song Until Easdale’s hard work on the Journal d’Avenir, a Tomorrow on acoustic guitar; causing many a tear number of witty articles and satires were published. amongst the audience. Finally, the food for the Similarly the cooks, Daniel Lumby (G) and Alexander evening was prepared (and well guarded) by our own Rose (C), kept morale high within the Lycée with trusty cooks, Rose and Lumby, making a perfect atelier cuisine culinary exploits. After an extremely ending to fantastic evening. enjoyable week with our various workshops the The Cercle d’Europe was a memorable and valuable spotlight was on the Cercle d’Europe presentation on experience. We made many friends and came into Saturday. contact with people of our age from all around Europe; The presentation took place in a huge hall with a well- it offered us a rare chance to learn more about our lit stage. After a great deal of stress and rehearsals, the foreign cousins and their culture in an extremely night finally was upon us. We sung the famous sociable and friendly atmosphere. We were all sad to folksong O Waly Waly (The Water is Wide) to great leave Asnières at the end of our ten days in Paris for it applause and this was followed by a number of had been such enjoyable trip, but we look forward to amusing and informative presentations from all returning there some time soon. The Cercle d’Europe corners of the cultural spectrum. Rory Stallibrass (C) Youth Parliament is an exceptional and truly and Jamie Randall, directed by SB, provided a great a educational experience and is thoroughly deal of amusement in the form of their short drama recommended to future 6.1s at Radley. sketches. Whilst Henry Woodward-Fisher (G) wowed HENRY WOODWARD-FISHER (G) the audience with his emotive Romeo accompanied by a froggy Juliet. George Ulmann (F) made us all aware

ORCHARD HOUSE – THE END OF AN ERA MRW and JAW have run Orchard house for seven responsibility. If you give me those three things, years. As Orchard is gradually metamorphosing into J you’ll enjoy it, but if you’re not honest, reliable or Social and MKTH is taking over in September, the responsible there are going to be problems. We have Chronicle sent two reporters to find out about also preferred people to stay for more than two terms – the end of an era: visiting for a single term can be too short, rather like a holiday. Many single termers (but not all) took, but What is it that you think Orchard House brings most to didn’t give back and we simply didn’t get to know Radley that will be missed? them as well. A place where boys can escape to if they need to: a refuge, for all sorts of reasons. Getting away from the A bit more like the real world? hubbub of Social and finding somewhere quieter Yes exactly, it will be like that at university. There are without Shells and Removes running about the place. always rules to follow but it is the responsible and You also get boys who just feel they need to be out of thoughtful characters that will gain and adapt to a new the mainstream. It is a haven – it was like that before way of life more quickly. we arrived, and it will be missed. Removes arrived this term: how has this changed What kinds of people benefit most from being in Orchard? Orchard? They’ve been very good actually; especially with Independent people who are responsible. The one regard to duties that the VI.1s and Vths were expected thing we tried to do was create a ‘Hall of Residence’ to do originally. They are treated exactly the same atmosphere in that there was an element of freedom except they are not given a beer on a Saturday night but, of course, the school rules still applied. Boys were and they go to bed earlier. also encouraged to look after themselves and each other, doing various duties, cleaning, checking etc. So it’s the same thing that you said earlier about being What I said to boys as they came in to Orchard was a bit more independent? that I was looking for honesty, reliability and Yes, but they have been brilliant and actually on 76 THE RADLEY COLLEGE CHRONICLE 6 July 2007 Saturdays, they come and chat with us and the older all those roles. We’ve given buttons out, sewn things boys. They have made an effort to put something back on, distributed bulbs, rendered first aid, etc. into Orchard perhaps because it is a new experience. Have you had any amusing requests? I’m not too sure how hard they worked though……. Yes! One of the boys came to the door and asked: ‘Oh, Would you agree that Orchard house is primarily for Sir, you don’t have a sarong I could borrow do you?’ work? It was, I think, for a fancy dress party. We have also That has always been an important part of it. AER has had to collect boys from far-flung places at unusual a little ‘competition’ between Socials to see who has times. One night, many years ago, we knew a group of got the best work ethic by comparing the results at the boys had gone out to Aylesbury, to a band concert. end of the year. As Orchard is not a Social we have They’d obtained permission so it was all above board: not been included in this. However when you look at the idea was that they would go, and around about 1 the VI.2s who have been here for a year, there have O’ clock would get taxis back. We got a phone call been groups of boys who have obtained far better round about half past one saying that they couldn’t grades than expected because they have revised find any taxis, so we went around, and picked them up effectively together. Also it has been a quieter place, and brought them back. I wasn’t cross at all. They particularly in the summer term when they have been thought that they were going to get into serious taking exams. trouble, but it wasn’t their fault, and they did the right thing to let us know. They were talking about it for Are there any other people who really ‘use’ Orchard? weeks. Yes, often people who need some TLC. We also have helped boys who tentatively might have left the And what do you least enjoy about it? school. Because they are out of the mainstream, they That’s easy: sleep deprivation, not being able to crash have managed to get back on their feet again. out when you want to. You can be totally exhausted, but you still have to be up to midnight or beyond. Is it true that a lot of people arrive for just a short time but stay longer? Do you think that Radley will suffer because of the We have had two boys who were here for nine terms. closure of Orchard House? A lot of boys stayed for three, four or five terms. The No, there are so many ways of doing the same thing number of times that people have come reluctantly, for that no one way is right. The Socials will be smaller a term or two, but have ended up staying is also quite and boys will benefit from that. There will probably significant. Once you have a loyal core, a different always be individuals who would benefit from being type of boy is attracted. Two years ago was probably in a place like Orchard, so yes, it will be missed but it our best year: we had such a terrific group of VI.2s is not irreplaceable. Some parents are sad that it is and everybody else followed. going and have tried to campaign for it, which is a good reflection on what we have been doing. Do you think that it is easier for a Social to control Governments come and go however; you just have to that one bad apple than Orchard? get used to it. As Tony Blair said, ‘That is it. The end.’ A few of the boys would probably have left the school if they had not been able to come to Orchard. Some of How has Orchard House changed your lives? these characters ended up doing really well and even Certainly we are far more at ease catering for large got in to Oxford. There are fewer problems here than numbers of people. It has also made us much more you would get in a Social due to there being fewer aware of what goes on around the place; it has put both boys so perhaps they did have a better chance of of us more in touch with the school. You hear the surviving over here. moans and groans, and you begin to understand a bit more about what aggravates people and also what What do you enjoy most about Orchard? makes them happy. If you’re not in a Social, or The colour. The ‘you never quite know what is going involved on the pastoral side, you don’t always see to happen next’ situation. You’re sitting down, just that. And you get the gossip too. starting work on the computer, and then you’re downstairs again to sort things out. It could be What are you looking forward to now? something brilliant, it could be something horrible, but We are looking forward to having forms again, putting it is the idea that you have got to solve problems...and into practice what we have learnt from Orchard, they are relentless. Because we don’t have a matron, having more time to ourselves, and being a bit more seamstress, or a live-in Sub Tutor, we have to perform normal! v

77 6 July 2007 THE RADLEY COLLEGE CHRONICLE

SHELL GEOGRAPHY TRIP TO SOUTH WALES 14 JUNE THE BIG PIT, BLAENAVON However this part of the trip was cut short due to the sheer excitement of getting to the shop. After the two hour coach journey and one questionable The shop: well it’s self explanatory really. Let’s just film, accompanied by an assortment of ‘geo snacks’, say that no geo man left without at least a pound of we were ready for an exciting Shell Geo trip to Big Pit various sweets in either pocket. I on the other hand Blaenavon. Several cheers went up as we arrived and a just stuck to bottled water – tramping through the coal (reasonably controlled) mad dash for the exit of the mines of South Wales is thirsty work! coach ensued. Then we were outside, smelling the smells and seeing the sights that are South Wales. We As we got back onto the coach and made our way back were already in awe and the adventure hadn’t yet to Radley we thanked all the geo dons for putting begun! together such a great outing. We reflected on the trip and how interesting it had been. Suddenly our After further Geo sustenance, (two cheese sandwiches, thoughts were interrupted by a screening of ‘Pirates of an apple, a penguin and a bottle of water) we were off, the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest.’ However, even ready to explore the sights and more importantly the though our Welsh adventure was over, the memories underground attractions of the huge coal mine known of ‘Big Pit’ will stay with us for a long time. And as ‘Pwll Mawr.’ we’ll always have a special place in our hearts for After trudging up one of the many hills that make up those brave and valiant geo men who toiled deep the part of Wales we reached the pit head and were below the ground, searching for black gold. divided into groups which were to be led by our geo ALASTAIR FATEMI (D) staff. There was much controversy over who would get Mr Harris until it was finally resolved; we were all going to get our fair share of geo. There were three sites to see: the ‘Big Pit’; the museum; and, arguably THE MINE CALLED the most important, the shop. ‘PWLL MAWR’ Group One visited the pit first. As we got kitted out with helmets and headlights you could have cut the We were all looking forward to that fine day in June atmosphere with a knife. We braced ourselves for When we would arrive at round about noon some serious geo as 13 boys, 1 member of staff and 1 At the once bustling and busy mine of Pwll Mawr (Scottish) miner were crammed into a metal cage and Where we would do Geo and see ultimate power. descended into darkness. The name of Big Pit, though may sound quite daft, The exploration consisted of walking through a series Is named after the unmatchable size of its shaft of tunnels some with quite low ceilings. Of course this Which we would descend into its darkness and caverns was no problem for people who were, let’s say, And hear stories of heroes and monsters with talons. ‘vertically challenged.’ We learnt about the uses of At the stroke of noon we sat down to eat explosives, wooden pit props, drills, battery powered Then the Geo dons came and we got to our feet communication systems and even work horses which Then collecting our equipment all top Geo kit were stabled deep underground for most of their We headed off down to the world famous Big Pit working life. We also heard about the exploitation of children as young as 8 years old who worked long The attractions there were a glorious three hours in dark, dangerous and dusty conditions and the Resurrected from rubble for you and for me gruesome fate of miners who had been trapped, The mine I have said but also a shop crushed or killed in explosions. Anyway, onto the And a museum-like thing right up at the top. museum! And fittingly now I’ve told you our story The museum showed the typical living quarters of Of when I and my comrades descended in glory miners, and the lockers and endless rows of showers To the shadows and memories of young and of old There were videos about how the miners put their lives Where hundreds of men had mined for black gold. in danger and the not infrequent mining disasters.

78 THE RADLEY COLLEGE CHRONICLE 6 July 2007 THE CHRONICLE GUIDE TO EBAY Some time ago, I lent a friend of mine £100 with whether you are buying something new or used, and assurance that he was embarking on a business scheme never believe the advertised ‘RRP’ (Recommended that would make him thousands of pounds. Felix Retail Price) – sellers will often hike them up to make would be using eBay to buy cut price laptops from their product look a better deal. china, and then resell them here in the UK for their full Examine the preferences. Before you bid, have a look price. I had my doubts, but, with the promise of £10 at the seller’s preferred form of payment and delivery, interest regardless of outcome and a share of any and whether V.A.T. is included. Some sellers will not profits, I consented and lent him the money. I took a take payments through PayPal because it costs them to vague interest in his dealings with his new-found use it, however, with few exceptions, you should not Chinese e-friend but nothing more, and it was a couple pay in any other form. PayPal is by far the most secure of weeks later before we discussed it again. It was then way to pay. Furthermore, it is free for the buyer, and that he expressed concerns of having not heard from has £500 fraud protection as standard. Also check the the dealer and so I took a look at the not-so-recent dealer’s offered forms of delivery as prices can be emails from the Chinaman and his eBay profile page. steep, especially if the product is coming from abroad. He had a 100% positive feedback score, but as I opened them up, my heart sank. On closer inspection, I Play the game. Once you are sure you know what you realised that the person in question had set up are bidding for, and who it is from, the battle begins. numerous accounts and given each other positive For the uninitiated, you enter your maximum bid, and ‘feedback’. The situation was only made worse when eBay bids up to that amount in stages on your behalf, Felix admitted that he had not used PayPal, but instead as other people try to outbid you. With the more sent off the money by Western Union, a financial popular items however, a more interactive approach transfer service. This meant that around £800 was will be needed from the keen eBay buyer. If you are currently in the hands of a conman 6,000 miles away able to be in front of your computer at the finishing with no way of getting it back, and no prospect of the time then you have a major advantage. The best way MacBooks either. to win an item is to bid as late as possible. It can be guaranteed that with any vaguely popular item, there Although this was a nasty début encounter with eBay will be someone somewhere doing the same thing. Do for Felix (not his real name), eBay can be a blessing not encourage a bidding war until the last few seconds, for those who are careful with it and keep a beady eye and then place the maximum amount you are willing out for the tell-tale signs of fraud and deception. This to pay into the page. The hope then is that anyone else is why, as Radley College Chronicle Corp. expands bidding will not have a chance to outbid you. Of and spreads its all-encompassing tentacles into the course if they are willing to pay more than you with a Science and Technology sector, we bring you The higher maximum bid, you have to lower your Chronicle Guide to eBay. expectations. Check out the seller. Before reading the details to the And Finally: Make sure you get the decimal point in product you have spotted, read up on the person or the right place... business that is trying to sell it to you; this way you will not get tempted to bid for it even though you are not yet sure about the seller. Fundamentally, positive feedback should represent around 97% or more of feedback – however, also make sure you check out that feedback. Have a look at who has left the feedback and when they did it. Signs of fraud are often lots of feedback from people with similar names and/or all made on similar times and dates. Click on a couple of random people who have left feedback to check that they are also genuine – for example, compare dates of registration with your seller. Scrutinise the description. Make sure you know exactly what it is you are buying. If it is electronic, copy the serial or product code into Google to make sure that it is exactly what is being described. If it is clothing or similar, have a look at the pictures; if there aren’t enough or the quality is not good then ask the seller for some more. In all cases, make sure you know 79 6 July 2007 THE RADLEY COLLEGE CHRONICLE LEAVERS’ RECITALS NICK BUCHANAN Nick played a Poulenc Oboe Sonata to finish off 20 MAY, SILK HALL consisting of three movements: an Élegie, a Scherzo and a Déploration. Contrary to the typical structure of On a warm evening at the beginning of what looks to a Sonata, which is ‘fast-slow-fast’, Poulenc decided to be a hot summer, Senior Prefect Nick Buchanan (G) write this Sonata ‘slow-fast-slow’ and dedicated the introduced his Leaver’s Recital to an impressive Sonata to the memory of Sergei Prokofiev. The first audience of 90-100 people with an atmospheric piano movement had similar wandering melodic lines to the piece by the 20th century composer Einaudi. Le Onde Satie but has a rich harmony brought out well by the was described as a mixture between classical and accompanist of the night AJAW. Proving to be a minimalist music, which many of you will be familiar twentieth century piece of music, the Élegie was with thanks to SDJC and Shell music lessons. It was occasionally very unpredictable and used chromatic fluent and captivating and Einaudi claimed that he intervals. It juxtaposes loudness and quietness in wrote Le Onde when he was thinking of the waves alternating sections and rounds off with a which eventually became the soundtrack. chromatically leaping melody followed by a sustained After a short speech thanking various people for chromatic finish. helping with different aspects of the performance, a The Scherzo was brighter with a sliding melody and small orchestra of violins (Arthur Sawbridge (E), Greg involved the piano more, with a solo piano interlude, Williams (C), Dan Lumby (G) and Rory Stallibrass almost Romantic, and it showed off a huge range of (C)), viola and a cello played by Theo Whitworth (C) textures resulting in this movement seeming very out- and Tom Scott-Cowell (C) respectively and SDJC on of-place in the sonata. It was followed by the the harpsichord played the first movement of Déploration which returned to the powerful, evocative Marcello’s Oboe Concerto which was very expressive; melody and accompaniment of the first movement Nick clearly knew the piece very well. He was with the chromatic melody on top. This last movement supported by an accompaniment held together well by finished the concert with a bang gradually increasing Arthur Sawbridge and they continued this standard for in volume and pitch to result in the very highest the following two movements. The bleaker second registers of the oboe being tested. In the words of the movement was much more melody-orientated, with composer himself, the Déploration was ‘a sort of the accompaniment holding a simple role while the liturgical chant’ and it showed how, when this was oboe contrasted the fluent scales of the first movement written in Poulenc’s final years, he was reconsidering with sustained notes. This movement was reminiscent his style, not quite serialist but reconsidering the style of Vivaldi’s The Four Seasons, giving a similar of his writing. impression of bleakness as in the Winter movement. The technically tricky last movement was very A cheeky encore then involved a beautiful oboe duet skilfully tackled by Nick and its sudden brightness, with SVC from The Magic Flute. These playful comparable to Movement one, showed off Nick’s intertwining melodies ended the concert serenely and ability in different styles of playing. brought everyone back to reality after the somewhat dramatic rendition of the Poulenc. This display of talent was followed by a Kennaway piece called Watersmeet, written about a place in Overall this was a fantastic concert with a wide range North Devon, where, unsurprisingly, two rivers join of styles and skills shown off by Nick who had clearly together. Due to the fact that this piece is about water, put a lot of effort into a very well worked particular features would be expected; noticeably the performance. sweeping melody lines which is what attracted Nick to this piece. He expressed these lines beautifully and this then proved to be one of the best pieces of the JAMIE WATKISS night. 9 JUNE, SILK HALL He then returned to the piano to give us a rendition of In the blistering heat of a June evening the Silk Hall Gnossienne No. 3 by the pre-minimalist French was packed with an impressive sized audience. Having composer Satie. It started with a chromatic taken a quick pre-concert glance at the programme, the introduction and, following this eccentricity, came a audience was left in no doubt that this, the third of the piece full of wandering expressive melodic lines series of Leavers’ Recitals, was going to be quite an proving to be a unique piece. Nick again showed the evening. The list of arias, mostly Mozart’s, would range of his ability on a variety of instruments in have challenged even the greatest of performers and different styles, with this slightly eccentric piece was certainly very ambitious, even for such a contrasting with the initial minimalist Einaudi piece. distinguished baritone as Jamie Watkiss (H).

80 THE RADLEY COLLEGE CHRONICLE 6 July 2007 Jamie, looking very debonair in his full black tie His second organ piece was that showstopper, Widor’s despite the temperature, started the concert with Non Toccata from Symphonie V. As the last movement of a Più Andrai from The Marriage of Figaro, one of the five-movement symphony, it comes as a release, the best known of Mozart’s arias, followed by Di jubilant finale to a journey. On its own, it’s rather like Provenza il Mar from Verdi’s La Traviata. These eating the icing off the top of a Christmas cake: nice, provided a confident start to the evening and clearly but so much better in the context of the other layers. showed Jamie’s rich sound and apparent affinity for There were small slips but good articulation in this Italian. wrist-breaking piece. Again the harder parts towards the end were well managed with thumb and foot piston Next Jamie, gave his vocal chords a well deserved changes. break, and reached for his viola. He played Vocalise, a beautiful slow piece by Rachmaninoff, which provided Over at the Silk Hall with his audience safely installed him with a perfect opportunity to show off his warm Jonny was more relaxed. He played four Brahms tone and evident musicality. Klavierstucke which were beautifully judged and, for me, the highlight of the concert. The Fantasie in C This was followed by Aprite un po’ quegl’occhi also minor was, as Jonny said in his introduction, an from Mozart’s Marriage of Figaro, another well known, upbeat aria in which it sometimes seems that atypical piece of Mozart in being sectional and orchestral in its design. We could hear the different getting one’s tongue round the Italian could easily sections of the orchestra – woodwind, cellos – prove to be more of a challenge than the music itself. replying to each other in relatively short phrases. Jamie’s younger brother Myles Watkiss (H) then joined him to perform Mozart’s Duo in B, showcasing The Sonata in C major by Besozzi showed that Jonny is almost as adept on the oboe as on a keyboard; it was the full talent of the Watkiss family. The two brothers jaunty, immaculate and a complete change to the rest played very well together, with Myles on the violin complimenting Jamie’s viola playing. of the programme. It made me think how form-driven Baroque music is – as a palette cleanser it worked, but Then to end, Jamie performed two more arias. Vedro I felt that Besozzi just didn’t have the genius of Bach Mentr’io Sospiro, again from The Marriage of Figaro or Handel to weave something more than an attractive and finally the Champagne Aria from Don Giovanni. but superficial piece. The squawk at the end was a Again displaying his mature bass sound, and providing note of light relief. a magnificent conclusion to the recital. Liszt’s Vallee d’Obermann is an epic programmatic At least if his medical career falls through, Jamie will jaunt through the Swiss countryside. Jonny described always be fall back on his almost comprehensive Liszt as the ‘Mick Jagger of his day’ – he had women knowledge of the Count’s part in The Marriage of throwing clothing at him during recitals. This massive Figaro. All in all this was a very enjoyable evening, challenge showed the player’s technical control, with some almost as entertaining facial expressions immaculate memorising and emotional maturity in a from Jamie throughout, and certainly constituted an convincing performance. impressive end to what has evidently been an illustrious musical career at Radley. Jonny’s talent and character will be missed next year in the Music Department; we wish him well and hope he will continue his keyboard studies. JONATHAN WILLIAMS 10 JUNE, CHAPEL/SILK HALL PELHAM GROOM Unusually this recital was in two parts, beginning, 15 JUNE, SILK HALL after pleasant drinks in the early evening sun on When posters were emblazoned around the school for Chapel Quad, in the Chapel Gallery where we watched Jonny Williams (H) put the organ through its paces. Pelham Groom’s (E) Leaver’s Recital with the phrase ‘you know you want to…’ we were immediately given Max Reger’s Introduction and Passacaglia is a mammoth piece – too many notes on the page, as a taste of the satanic flavour of the evening. When entering the moody lighting of the Silk Hall my first many have said – but Jonny tackled it with aplomb. It reaction was that I had inadvertently walked into a late is relentlessly chromatic and sideslipping its way towards scrunchy cadences, one could tell that he night granny-bashing session. Mingling among the impressive sound system and microphones were many relished the difficulty. Oddly enough in the easier elderly patrons who, touchingly, turned out to be passages, during the quiet build-up of the Passacaglia, Jonny looked least at ease, but once the texture various assorted members of the Groom clan. If you have been fortunate enough to see the likes of Barble thickened he was back on safe ground. Partisan or The Spring Offensive in action you will know the omnipotence of their chest pumping bass-

81 6 July 2007 THE RADLEY COLLEGE CHRONICLE lines and drum beats so, peeling my jaw off the floor so that his appearance, coupled with the supernatural and squeezing past a Zimmer frame, I asked Pelham speed at which he used the double kick bass drum, whether they would be able to cope with the volume to meant he looked in danger of transforming into an which he casually replied, ‘Don’t worry. We’ve given incubus. them earplugs’ – with a lick of the teeth that would The innate diversity which Pelham showed throughout have shamed Beelzebub. the evening, switching from vocals to bass to electric As the audience took their seats (one of the best guitar to drums in a flurry of lead cables shows just turnouts for a Leaver’s Recital yet, and understandably how much of an asset he has been to the rock scene at so) we realised this was to be no ordinary concert. Radley something perfectly demonstrated throughout Eyeing up the large sound system complete with hefty this fabulous concert. Pelham we salute you. Oh, and technicians meant that this was much more like a his Aunt Muriel’s cakes were delicious… professional gig than a standard leaver’s recital. So when Pelham entered, guitar in hand, he was accordingly met with ecstatic cheers and applause by FRANCIS FORBES-EDWARDS dons and Radley boys alike. The first few solo items 17 JUNE, SILK HALL showed Pelham to be more than able to stand alone from his band, producing outstanding covers of Frank Francis Forbes-Edwards. Some would say the fact that Turner’s Wisdom Teeth and A Decent Cup of Tea, his he managed to organise any such event as a Leaver’s voice having an uncanny resemblance to Frank Recital is an achievement in itself, but the fact that it himself, before moving seamlessly to the West End was so good is a credit to his enormous talent. To genre with a haunting rendition of Gethsemane (I Only report this showcase of musical ability, I decided to Want To Say) from Andrew Lloyd-Webber’s Jesus ask each member of the audience for a quote to mark Christ Superstar enhanced all the more by the superb the occasion, and this is what they came up with: sound system. ‘A tremendous amount of effort went into it’ – ‘A The show reached all new heights of expertise when fantastic showcase of his many varied talents’ – Pelham called his ‘glamorous assistants’ (aka Barble ‘Good’ – ‘The best yet’ – ‘A wonderful all round Partisan) up on stage for a thumping version of Frank musician; professionally presented; superb own Turner’s Father’s Day which, despite the somewhat composition’ – ‘Better than James blunt’ – ‘Francis overpowering bass of Pete Barker (D), had feet Forbes-Edwards? Who?’ – ‘Very versatile’ – ‘Very tapping in appreciation throughout the auditorium good’ – ‘Enjoyable and impressive’ – ‘Wonderful’ – thanks to Pelham’s passionate vocals and AJ ‘Guitar was excellent and wonderful overall’ – ‘Nice Montgomery’s (G) fantastic drumming. Barble to hear him sing as we don’t normally!’ – ‘Fantastic; it Partisan then proceeded pound the Silk Hall with made me want to cry’ – ‘Lovely and emotional’ – awesome extracts from The World’s Worse Public ‘Blooming marvellous’ – ‘Good, brilliant, Swimming Pool featuring explosive guitar solos from magnificent, excellent’ – ‘The most varied yet’ – ‘Is Pelham and Theo as well as some impressive hard- there anything that man can’t do’ – ‘Inspirational core moshing by the latter causing impressed murmurs piano accompaniment only served to enhance what of appreciation throughout the audience. was otherwise a fantastic performance’ – ‘The Warden missed out’ – ‘Very enjoyable, relaxing evening’ – ‘It Without doubt the highlight of the evening came in the was incredibly emotional and moving, and a great final group to perform, ‘The Spring Offensive’, tribute to Radley’s multi-capacitated approach’ – comprised of OR’s Lucas Whitworth, Jono Carter- ‘Stunning’ – ‘Hey, nonnie nonnie’ – ‘Multi talented Lewis, Matt Cooper as well as Theo and Pelham. beast’ – ‘Fantastic to see such a variety’ – ‘Unfair one Reminiscent of the White Stripes, clad predominantly person has so much talent’ – ‘Delightful concert’ – in red, the group performed their greatest songs from ‘Amazing rendition’ – ‘very good – would win pop their EP Inshala including the rocking Conversation idol’ – ‘Simon Cowell would be impressed’ – ‘Superb Of The Bomb as well as the all time favourite from and varied’ – ‘Shows what a talented guy he is’ – many a Radley concert Until Tomorrow. We were also ‘Impressed by the thought put into his own song privileged enough to hear the first ever public Justify’ performance of their new song, a moving rock ballad, The Rest Is Shadows, undoubtedly their greatest work Francis adds that he was ‘pleased with how it went’ to date producing the most enthusiastic support from and is ‘grateful to dons for all his music tuition’. We the audience. Resembling an extremely tall Kurt wish him well in his bid for the Stoughton-Harris Cobain, Lucas Whitworth threw his all into each song Prize. producing a passionate performance which was highly infectious whilst Pelham belted out some impressive drumming from the back, lit a hellish red (of course)

82 THE RADLEY COLLEGE CHRONICLE 6 July 2007 SEB LOMAS served as a swatch for the Sub Warden's next pair of 23 JUNE, SILK HALL trousers. The programme for the evening was suitably varied – from the serious to the whimsical; Oenophile, designer, photographer, Sebastian (as he instrumentation likewise – from solo voice through to formally styled himself on invitation and programme) crowd participation. But if there was one particular Lomas is a multi-talented Radleian. But it was to theme that could identified as running right through celebrate him as a musician that we gathered in Silk the programme it was the primacy of a good tune Hall on Saturday June 23rd. And what a musician we coupled with a strong voice. heard, flautist, singer and saxophonist. Seb’s recital began with baroque flute, Bach and Handel with The concert started with Mozart (Se vuol ballare from harpsichord accompaniment from TMM. Then the Le Nozze di Figaro) and moved swiftly through Poulenc Sonata with AJAW on the Steinway, Schubert (Der Musensohn), Donizetti (Bella siccome mellowing at last after four years at Radley, the piano un angelo, from Don Pasquale), Warlock (Captain that is, a work I would walk across broken glass to Stratton's Fancy, the lyrics of which sounded distinctly racy) and back to Mozart for George's one hear, and a performance that thrilled. No avoidance of b the flamboyant here. (The shirt tail was firmly in). foray on the bassoon (Concerto in B , Allegro). Then the singing (accompanied by SDJC), the first A short interval saw George return to a lighter closing two items of which I found the least compelling of the half. Clearly mindful of his impending departure from whole recital, partly because the tempi were Radley, he opened with Where is the Life that Late I dangerously slow, but chiefly because Sarastro to me Led, a Cole Porter number from Kiss me, Kate; he then continued to tread the boards with Stars (from Les is so ponderous that he makes Gurnemanz sound like b Woody Allen. Hugely to be enjoyed was Colline’s Miserables*). Heller's Study in A then segued neatly farewell to his overcoat (La Boheme), sung without into Hallelujah by Jeff Buckley, originally Britten, music in moving clear Italian. (The shirt tail was then a guitar piece that George had arranged for the beginning to stray). piano. His closing number was then a Disney piece, by Menken, Out there from The Hunchback of Notre Then finally the saxophone, some relaxed neo-Funk by Dame. There was one last surprise that George had Garson then a splendid Valse Vanité by Wiedoeft. Seb held back from the programme: Any dream will do was not afraid to camp it up, and must have taken from Joseph complete with backing vocals from the delight in the exertions he was causing the Head Boy audience. Great fun. as page turner for AJAW. He said himself that he felt totally relaxed by now; we could tell, for so was the The evening was a resounding success and - for those shirt tail. A little jazz followed, with brother Matthew who missed it - it is available to listen to (as are all the fresh down from Cambridge with a 2:1 in Philosophy others) on the Music Department intranet site. on the piano, though sadly without a drummer. This was a recital of the highest quality and detailed A TUTOR’S DIARY QUIZ - musical comment would be superfluous. It was a magnificent ending to five years of devoted and ANSWERS generous music-making. Radley has been fortunate to Q1. What are the I Social colours? Lime and Mandarin have had Seb in our midst. But perhaps to take up one Q2. What is the name of the Tutor’s wife? Sandra musical point, the superb attention to detail that was Q3. What terrible end met Attila the Social Cat? He shown in the Bach and Handel informed the whole of crept into the social bonfire, which was then lit… the recital, good announcements, a splendid Q4. In which hotel, recommended by the Boat Club, programme and all. Thanks to Seb, and thanks too to did the Tutor and his wife spend a few days away? The Mrs Lomas, ceramicist, flower-arranger and caterer Quality Friendly Hotel, Loughborough sans pareil. And just one brickbat. The Silk Hall has Q5. Who was the boy who kept a beagle in his room? been up and running for twenty-two years now, yet in Ayleton all that time no one has thought to invest in a table for Q6. What happened to the Chapel organ on Gaudy? the performer’s glass of water. Someone put ping pong balls in the pipes Q7. What kind of wood is the Prefects’ Bathroom GEORGE NYE decorated in? Mahogany 29 JUNE, SILK HALL Q8. What is the name of the I Social song? Floreat This reviewer can pay no greater compliment than to Ego observe that George Nye's Leaver's recital was just Q9. Who was the Tutor’s predecessor in I Social? Mr enormous fun. Fun that started with the man himself (a Trouser (RAT) bundle of modest good cheer) and his choice of shirt - Q10. What colour are the Welsh hymn sheets? Yellow a shirt that might, in different circumstances, have 83 6 July 2007 THE RADLEY COLLEGE CHRONICLE NINE CHRONICLE PREDICTIONS FOR HARRY POTTER and the DEATHLY HALLOWS We at the Chronicle are of course all avid readers of believe the initials to stand for Regulus A. Black, the Harry Potter series by JK Rowling, and because of Sirius’ brother, with the A standing for Arcturus, his this we have collaborated on some predictions for how grandfather, or Alliford who was Sirius and Regulus’s the final book will end. Next term we will analyse how rich uncle. Further evidence to support this comes close we were… from the translated editions where Black is translated to Zwarts in Dutch, and the initials are RAZ. Hmmm... 1. We are pretty much unanimous that Harry will die – this ensures that Rowling cannot continue the series, 6. Ron and Hermione – they have to get together. and nor can anyone else for that matter. However, his Rowling set up a platform for them at the end of the death is a tricky matter: either he will die in a last book, with Hermione crying on Ron’s shoulders, Messianic and Christ-like martyrdom, killing and if a relationship doesn’t blossom from this we Voldemort with him and thus saving the wizarding shall be very disappointed. world from evil (although this is in itself is doubtful: 7. Ginny or Hermione will have a pivotal role in the in HP5 the Prophecy claimed that one must kill the final book – Harry was saved from death by the love other), or Voldemort will kill Harry, and eventually of his mother, so surely at some point he will be saved kill the rest of all wizards. When Voldemort and his again by the love of his girlfriend – either Hermione or Death Eaters then die themselves, no witches or Ginny. As an aside, I think Hermione will become wizards will remain, leaving the world in its current Head Girl as well, if they are still at Hogwarts. state with only Muggles. Perhaps Hermione has found her vocation with SPEW 2. Perhaps the whole series is an Alternative History, and will pursue this kind of crusading social work where an event in the past made the wizarding world rather than becoming an auror. split from ours at some specific point. If this were the 8. Who will be the new Defence Against the Dark Arts case then Rowling will reveal this in the final book. teacher? Many believe that Lupin will return as he has 3. Dumbledore must feature somewhere. We know now proven he is a safe werewolf, but I believe it will that old Headmasters of Hogwarts appear in portraits be someone entirely new – seven teachers in seven in the Headmaster’s study, and so he will be present books. It could be Harry Potter himself. there, at least. We know he 9. Draco will survive and be cannot return as a ghost, as redeemed although his he, like Sirius, did not father will be killed – it choose this path when he would be too obvious to kill died. Bit like Obi-wan Draco, and although he has Kenobi in the Star Wars always hated and taunted series – dead but an Harry, it has always felt advisory presence. forced, as though he was 4. Snape is still a massive being pushed into it by his area of controversy amongst father. He is not a bad Potter fans. Many, like me, still believe him to be person at heart, although his father is pure evil. innocent: Dumbledore may have had a Horcrux Will Voldemort die in the end? It could certainly go (Fawkes, his phoenix) and so Snape ‘killed’ either way, but whatever happens in the final book, we Dumbledore in order to prove his ‘loyalty’ to can be sure that it will be a gripping and plot- Voldemort, so that Snape could remain close to completing book. A mini warning to those of you Voldemort and keep passing information back to The planning to read the book this summer – the story will Order. Dumbledore could therefore return as a be spoilt for you if you are not careful. Make sure that Horcrux, although this begs the question: who did he you switch off your phone, do not read the papers, do kill to create one? Some people believe that it was not not go on a computer and do not speak to anyone, Dumbledore who was killed that night, perhaps his including the postman, who will inevitably be brother took his place, or someone was using polyjuice delivering your copy from Amazon. Do not buy the potion. This is a very thin idea to hang onto – book in person in a bookshop – people will be reading Dumbledore had a funeral and so the body would have it and will tell you what happens – instead ask a parent surely changed back to its original being before this or friend to go out and buy it instead. Take this time? warning seriously, as to have the last book ruined 5. Who is RAB? (The initials left on the letter inside would be a shame. the empty Horcrux at the end of the last book). Many 84 THE RADLEY COLLEGE CHRONICLE 6 July 2007 SENIOR PREFECT’S ENVIRONMENTAL WORKSHOP (SPEW) 9PM, FRIDAY 29 JUNE, GROUNDSMAN’S 7. The ‘Share a Bath with a Friend’ campaign has been going so well in C Social that they have taken things Present: CRB, MJSH, PMF, reps from A, B, C, D, F, to the next level with ‘Share a Shower’. There have G, H, I and J Socials, Senior Prefect and Second been vast improvements in reducing water Prefect. consumption in all Socials except Orchard House, 1. The minutes from the last meeting had where the figure (per capita) was at an extraordinarily unfortunately been prematurely recycled. low level anyway. Well done, Orchard. 2. Since the last meeting boys have not been 8. A new ‘Split a Screen’ initiative has been suggested responding well to offsetting their carbon emissions by Ray Buzzton, Radley’s Network Manager avatar: it for the No. 35 bus into Oxford. All use of buses and works by having two keyboards and two mouses Tappins coaches is now restricted top rugby teams, hooked up to one screen, so fewer pixels are wasted by hockey teams, cricket teams, rowing crews, orchestras, using two screens. Less power is also consumed of choirs and people with a chit. This should reduce course. Arguments over who gets to use the in-built emissions substantially. Boys are to be encourage to webcam have yet to be resolved. cycle in to Oxford at weekends for their ‘shopping’ 9. The ambitious rep from J Social felt that too many expeditions. emails were being wasted, and so he requested any 3. On the subject of cycling, the keen C Social rep emails which are sent should be saved, and then re- proposed a new plan to generate electricity: RCBC used by un-sending them and then re-sending, perhaps ergos will be linked to the national grid to produce with a different text. He thanked members of Common electricity. This ‘Cycle to Recycle’ scheme will Room for putting this method into practice in its early commence next week, and it is hoped that a whopping stages, particularly the Chronicle Editors. 100W will be available for 5 hours a week – to put that 10. After, at SPEW’s request, Shop introduced a new in context, that’s enough electricity to light a bulb for line of biodegradable chicken rolls, sales have dropped that time, or to recharge 25 iPods, so it really is a dramatically. The F Social rep, a keen economist, tremendous idea. The Social on duty each week will pointed out that as the price is referenced to the Bank send down Vths and VI.1s to generate electricity of England base rate it was particularly tough for first between 9 and 10.30pm; the more electricity each time buyers. He predicted a price crash next term, Social generates, the more points they earn to go when custom would then pick up. towards the Recycling Can. The A Social rep then pointed out that the ergo shack had a new 200W 11. The college dishwasher in Hall has been sent to speaker system but was shouted down. Africa to help the aid effort. Plastic cups and paper plates will be the norm now, and the Bursar said he 4. MJSH was disheartened to hear that the Choir had was confident boys would grow used to this after the damaged three of the new solar panels (£10,000 each) initial grumbles wore off. The B Social rep was and bent the wind turbine on the Mansion roof while worried about all these plates and cups going to up there for the May Morning Madrigals. The Shell landfill but the scheme is even greener than that – they concerned had apologised for this, explaining that they will be scraped by hand and re-used as many times as had been told to wear non-slip footwear, and he possible before disposal. There was much approval for thought cricket spikes were a good idea. this environmentally sensitive plan, although some 5. The I Social rep recommended that the committee concern about the containment of soup. MJSH will should start recycling their spare ideas; many others report back on this. were quick to point out that this had been discussed 12. The Kishon fruit and veg patch is coming along before at length and was not practical. well; mushrooms and pineapple seeds have been 6. BBQs are to be banned from next summer onwards planted ready for the heavy demand for these next owing to new European regulations about CO2 term. It is hoped that College will be self-sufficient in emissions. I Social has led the way in trialling a fruit and veg very shortly. nuclear-powered BBQ, which apparently has been The new Senior Prefect will take up the reins at the very successful in cooking burgers etc in a matter of next meeting (9pm on September 28 behind the seconds, although for Health and Safety Reasons a Athletics Hut) at the start of the next academic year. lead-lined apron and gloves have to be worn when CRB thanked everyone on SPEW for making College cooking. After initial doubts the social has got used to a greener and more amusing place to live. the irradiated food; an unforeseen bonus is that additional lighting is not needed around the barbeque as it glows in the dark… 85 6 July 2007 THE RADLEY COLLEGE CHRONICLE

HYMN SINGING AT RADLEY We reproduce here the introduction to Non Nobis, the CD of Radley hymns released this week. Over 250 have now been distributed. If you missed out, there may be another run next term: email GJG to order.

‘If Radleians are exhorted to be ‘Sicut Serpentes, Radley. Some of these are not strictly hymns but Sicut Columbae’ then in their singing in Chapel sacred songs adapted for use in Chapel such as The they must disappoint the Founder, since they Holy City, Non Nobis, Domine, and If With All Your resemble neither the dry hissing of a snake nor the Hearts. The Chorus of the Hebrew Slaves was set to gentle cooing of a dove. In fact, the quality – and music by an Old Radleian and is known at very few volume – of Chapel singing is one of Radley’s other places. A recent Chaplain commissioned new strengths, and one of the most vivid memories words to the tune of a Harrow Song – The Silver taken away by Old Radleians; however much they Arrow – which, sung to ‘Your voices raise to the may have complained as boys about the rigours of Father’s praise’, has become another favourite hymn daily chapel services, the Chapel is almost always that we hope to feature on the next album, planned for the first place they come to when they return.’ three years’ time.

From the Preface to the Radley College Hymnal Of the ‘standard’ hymns on this disc, three nations are (2003) represented: Wales by Guide me, O thou great This is an album of twelve popular Radley hymns Jehovah; Ireland by Be thou my vision and the recorded during some of the fortnightly Friday Londonderry Air; and England by Jerusalem and the Congregational Practices. There has been no editing of Dam Busters March among others. For some reason the singing; in fact, none was possible since there was the measured tunes of Scotland are less popular, only one ‘take’ of each hymn, sung from beginning to although a significant number of current Radleians do end without stopping. This is not a live north of the border. reference recording, therefore, but a More exotic music has been learnt warm, fuzzy and accurate snapshot and performed by the whole school of the singing in Chapel this year. in Chapel during the last couple of The boys rose to the challenge of years – adaptations of the Gloria the recording with enthusiasm, but from Haydn’s Nelson Mass, the let us assure you that they sing no Hallelujah Chorus, and Zadok the less well when microphones or Priest. It is to the boys’ credit that visitors are not present; it is the they tackle each new project with elusive combination of a well- gusto, giving Handel or Haydn the crafted tune with apposite text that benefit of the doubt – though these makes a great hymn, and when any composers may not feature heavily of the many favourites are on their iPods. announced, the school sings lustily Jerusalem is sung at the end of through sheer enjoyment and pride every term and at the Leavers’ in the ongoing tradition. Service; Radleians have a strong One reason, perhaps, that the attachment to this hymn (which is singing in Chapel is still strong is arguably a song, and not even a the unusual timing of the daily sacred one at that!); an earlier whole-school service: in the recording of the whole school evening. It is easier for most of us singing it framed every episode of to sing well when wide awake at the the 1979 BBC documentary series end of the day rather than half- on Radley, Public School. asleep at the beginning of it. Chapel Can the health of a school be fits so well into the slot between discerned from the way that the supper and prep that it is difficult to pupils behave en masse? In Chapel imagine what else could possibly on a typical weekday – just as on the happen in that half an hour. occasional Fridays of the Some schools have a tradition of Michaelmas and Lent terms when singing a repertoire of songs these recordings were made – the especially written for them; we still sing William school, singing in the heart of College, is undeniably Sewell’s Lusimus once a year but there are a number in robust health. We hope that you enjoy this of other pieces in the College Hymnal peculiar to recording. 86 THE RADLEY COLLEGE CHRONICLE 6 July 2007

CONCERT REVIEW BIFFY CLYRO, yourcodenameis:milo & FRANK TURNER When three of Britain’s most successful underground alike. Closer All Roads To Fault serves only to ignite acts play on the same bill in London, there is, without the crowd furore further, making the half-hour gap fail, a frantic rush to get a ticket before all hope is lost. between ycni:m and Biffy seem interminable However, Biffy Clyro, the headliners of tonight’s bill After what seems like an age Biffy Clyro walk on stage who have sold out 2,000 plus capacity venues amidst a cloud of red smoke to cries of ‘Mon the nationwide, are tonight playing to an audience of little Biffy’; the fans’ signature chant. Bizarrely, each of the over four hundred. And with a support such as cult three band members is sporting enormous white paper solo folk act Frank Turner, and Newcastle-Upon-Tyne hands, which serve little purpose, but such is the rock band yourcodenameis:milo, the people of Oxford nature of Biffy Clyro. Shortly after Simon Neil has have been very lucky indeed. plugged into the enormous wall of amps that makes up Frank Turner, the ex-frontman of politically charged their backdrop they tear into 57; their first top 40 punk band Million Dead, has been making a career out single from their debut album Blackened Sky circa of his one man show for almost two years. Just having 2001. Tonight is more about introducing Biffy Clyro’s finished his second tour with a backing group new album Puzzle than anything else, and they do it (Oxford’s Dive Dive) since the break-up of Million admirably playing a show that spans their quite Dead, and in support of his debut full-length album extensive backlog whilst giving us a five song taster of ‘Sleep Is For The Week’, Brookes sees his intimate the new album. Biffy use a quiet/loud dynamic to great folk show tonight which has won him a dedicated fan- effect; constructing songs that can range from a base around the UK (and, bizarrely, Russia). Old whisper-quiet pick on the guitar to huge walls of noise Summerfieldian and Old Etonian before studying with massive distortion and crashing drums. It is this History at LSE, his intelligence is manifested in his that makes Biffy Clyro such a formidable band; they excellently crafted lyrics; opening with new song I are very much Scotland’s answer to the Foo Fighters. Knew Prufrock Before He Was Famous, he They are clearly on good form tonight and seem to be immediately manages to form a bond with a crowd really enjoying themselves. After a short anecdote who are not his own. Ballads such as ‘Sunshine State’ about the band’s last time in Oxford, Simon Neil plays touch hearts all around the room, and the vitriolic the crashing opening chords to Justboy and everybody Thatcher F****d The Kids puts a smile on everyone’s goes wild as it turns into a mass sing-along. Next Neil face. introduces two new tunes Who’s Got a Match? and The Conversation Is… both are clearly destined to be After the quickest set change this reviewer has ever crowd-pleasers of seen, the future. Soon the yourcodenameis:mil entire crowd is o take to the stage joining in with the to rip into material from their latest chorus of ‘There’s a fire and it burns, record, They Came From The Sun. A burns, burns tonight’. Biffy combination of the brings the night to a high octane performance, the close with the rousing Glitter and sheer volume levels Trauma and recent (guitarist Justin Lockey told this chart hit Living is a reviewer that even Problem Because Everything Dies. It he couldn’t hear a thing out of his left has been a fantastic and exciting night’s ear) and the epic music, Puzzle looks songs provide a brilliant warm up act to Biffy: the three guitarists playing intricate parts would be lost in many set to be an instant classic and with a host of festival dates this summer and a winter tour coming up mixes, but tonight the sound system is crystal clear as everyone should make the effort to go and see this well as mind-numbingly powerful. Old tunes, such as 17 and Rapt. Dept., set next to new numbers like incredible band. recent single Understand, provide a varied and HENRY WOODWARD-FISHER (G) & enchanting set, with enough for fans and newcomers THEO WHITWORTH (C) 87 6 July 2007 THE RADLEY COLLEGE CHRONICLE

SOCIAL BARBEQUES – PART TWO The second part of a two-part review of the food and entertainment available on campus of a Saturday evening. Reviews were carried out by one or two Editors on a random Saturday either side of Leave Away. Reviews of B, C, E, F and I Socials appeared in the previous issue. A SOCIAL [Additional details: Wonderful extra of marshmallows, Location: SR’s patch traditionally crispy and soft in the middle. The Type of barbeque: Gas-Coal Hybrid wonderful balance of textures was exquisite.] Who was cooking? SR/KAB, despite various efforts by the latter to involve the VI.1 What food was on offer? Meat ‘n’ cheese ‘n’ baps G SOCIAL Quality of food? Very nice Location: G Social Patch What drink was on offer? A selection of St. Peter’s Type of barbeque: Fixed stone charcoal barbecue Abbey (organic) ales and bitters, Black Sheep Ale, Who was cooking? VI.1 Tuborg lager and Genuine Coca-Cola What food was on offer? Burgers, sausages, and a Quality of drink: Top notch variety of buns General ambience: Strung out Quality of food: On the better side of edible Quality of banter: Good What drink was on offer? Orange juice and lemonade Ball games/other activities nearby: Bums. No, not that Quality of drink: Average sort. General ambience: Eerie What music was playing? J.J. Cale and The Doors, Quality of banter: Non-existent courtesy of SR’s car stereo system Ball games/other activities nearby: Football Attendance: Enforced What music was playing? None How long it went on for: Into the early hours around Attendance: Less than 15 the open fire How long it went on for: Started at 8, began to close at Cheese? Yes, or what little was left after Mr Ratty the about 9 Rat had his fill. Cheese? No Viscosity of Ketchup and mayonnaise: Sloppy Viscosity of Ketchup and mayonnaise: Thick In conclusion: A* for SR In conclusion: G for Goodish [Additional details: Fairy lights (we’re not quite sure why), mud, a collapsed gazebo, and a dead squirrel.] H SOCIAL Location: Front garden D SOCIAL Type of barbeque: Charcoal for classic barbeque flavour Location: BJH’s garden Who was cooking? DIY Type of barbeque: Good old charcoal barbeque What food was on offer? Bacon, lamb burgers, Who was cooking? BJH and Mrs Holden sausages What food was on offer? Tenderised beef, sausages Quality of food: Extremely good (pork and leak), chicken, bacon What drink was on offer? Coca-Cola, two types of Quality of food: Very good, chicken was cold though beer What drink was on offer? Chilled bottled beer, Coke Quality of drink: Very good Quality of drink: Good, chilled but coke was slightly General ambience: Hospitable and welcoming short in supply Quality of banter: Very chatty and lots of juicy gossip General ambience: Very friendly, welcoming and Ball games/other activities nearby: Volleyball hospitable What music was playing? DCKE’s collection Quality of banter: Varied and good fun Attendance: Only about 25 boys Ball games/other activities nearby: Piggy-in-the- How long it went on for: Started late, 8:45 and was not middle ended when I left at 10:15 What music was playing? Relaxed tunes of a varied Cheese? Yes and unknown origins Viscosity of Ketchup and mayonnaise: Genuine Heinz Attendance: High, and of all years Ketchup: just perfect How long it went on for: Late into the night...with a In conclusion; H for Heroic brazier [Additional details: Nice to have the Tutor himself Cheese? Yes joining in with the Volleyball. The cook your own Viscosity of Ketchup and mayonnaise: Moist food worked well as there were no queues.] In conclusion: D for Delicious

88 THE RADLEY COLLEGE CHRONICLE 6 July 2007

CORRESPONDENCE Correspondence is invited from any interested parties: please send contributions via email to [email protected]. Correspondents are welcome to use a pseudonym but must make their identity known to the Editors. To the editors of ‘The Radley College Chronicle’ Dear Sirs, According to the author the amount of money paid to May I point out to the Chronicle’s adoring readers the footballers is ‘indefensible’. Well, let me try. Look at rather naive nature of the article ‘Thugs by the example of Arsenal’s William Gallas who wakes Association’ which makes some points which are every morning at 5am in order to be at the training clearly the words of someone ignorant to the true ground by 8am and doesn’t return until 9pm after a subtleties of the beautiful game. Firstly, he tries to whole day doing knackering fitness drills and mind- maintain some form of haze over the naming of numbingly boring tactical sessions. He has a family ‘Football’ or ‘Soccer’, whichever way you are inclined happily settled in London and does not, therefore, doesn’t really matter, however the author intones that want to move house or away from them. His diet is far it is incorrect to call it ‘Football’. There are two less extravagant as mine or yours and he can forget schools of thought as to where the name of these about visiting any high-street diner. He cannot drink games comes from. One is that it refers to a game alcohol and would lose his job were he to consume a played on foot; others suggest that it is a game played drop during the playing season. He cannot go with the feet. Various different versions of the game anywhere, the shops, on holiday or to his kids’ school developed independently in the 19th century but by far without the press knowing about it. Therefore his life the most popular, and therefore the ‘default version’ in is far from normal and far from the relaxed, indulgent this country and through most of the world (but not the idealists’ life that is the common misconception USA) is Association Football, which can be known as surrounding current footballer’s lives. A life like this just ‘football’. surely requires some form of large incentive? Finally, the pressure of having thousands and thousands of fans The author suggests that what makes Football ‘one of expecting world-class performances every week is the most pernicious influences in the 21st Century’ is immense. because it is ‘the predominant working-class game’. True, it is the country’s most popular sport and My final point surrounds the idea of ‘the mob element certainly now is at Radley too, but why, O why, does which dominates, again and again, the terraces’. This this make it ‘pernicious’. This is the most is simply untrue. Firstly, there are no more terraces in inappropriate choice of word since Sky Sports’ Jeff this country (remember Hillsborough?), and second, I Stelling announced that West Ham had been awarded have been to over a hundred football matches in my a ‘Free-Cock (not kick) at Upton Park’. Football is life and never once witnessed any crowd violence. most certainly not a pernicious game and, on closer Perhaps there are a fair amount of tongue-in-cheek inspection, does more good than it does bad. Aside jibes between fans as they try to out-chant each other, from the sheer entertainment involved in both playing but nothing so malicious that means one cannot sit on and watching the game, it openly and widely the Tube afterwards next to an opposition fan and condemns racism (note Thierry Henry’s ‘Stand up, discuss the match with civility. Speak up’ campaign) and pumps endless amounts of I, like millions across the world, find that this is money into charity, (note the recent campaign which something I want to be Associated with. raised around £1 million for Britain’s nurses; ‘We love (Up) Yours, getting behind nurses’ as the Soccer AM quip goes). ‘THUG’ 89 6 July 2007 THE RADLEY COLLEGE CHRONICLE Dear Sirs, hotpot with pineapple, I mean come on! I love goat’s I enjoyed the ‘Thugs by Association’ article in your cheese, one of my favourite foods, but not when it is excellent anniversary issue up to a point (although I covered in a sickly coating of honey. Or pineapple. think you missed a trick in your criticism of the It’s not as if the chefs don’t have good ingredients: beautiful game by not highlighting the suicidal they are fine. Often the meals look great until you tendency of a set of rules which allows players to discover some random hunk of fruit lurking in its appeal to the referee for a decision). However, the depths. And another thing: fruit under chocolate? I writer’s grip on the real world is clearly a very tenuous took a helping of ‘chocolate sponge’ but soon one, as one sentence revealed. The suggestion that discovered semi-cooked apples under its base. Why? ‘most people would be happy to receive £50,000 per This is one of the reasons that I am a fan of the salad year’ was wince-making. ‘Happy’ to receive that? bar: what you see is what you get (although pizza is Given that the UK’s mean household income (i.e. two usually best when served hot). Even the l salad bar salaries) is somewhere in the region of £25,000, surely could be improved with some more apartheid, for ‘absolutely bloody delighted’ would have been a better example, don’t mix cucumber and olives. I like epithet to employ. cucumber and I love olives, but not together. If there is Silver-spoon tinted spectacles apart, congratulations to somebody out there who does like them together then all those involved with your now long-standing organ. they can mix them themselves, even if, daringly, you Yours, serve them separately. IKC It is a matter of Keeping It Simple; we don’t want all these extra ingredients casually thrown in. ‘DUSTER’ was onto something in the previous issue – the Dear Sirs, ‘Simple Week’ sounds like an excellent plan, and one Do Radleians learn nothing in Physics? Every week I I feel should be trialled. am witness to the same sorry state of affairs as boys I’m sorry to be adding to the negative comments the from the Shells upwards add milk to their already full catering dept are receiving currently but I just don’t bowls of Rice Krispies which, being lighter (sorry – think things are up to standard. less dense) than the liquid they are adding, causes the overflow and loss of literally thousands of innocent Yours, little grains of industrially prepared grains of puffed ‘KISS-ER’ rice. Let them eat bran flakes. Dear Sirs, Yours, Food in Hall seems to be a topic of the moment, so we would just like to add to the debate; this is not ‘ARCHIMEDES’ however about the type of food we get, but the timing of it. When we get back to college from the boathouse Dear Sirs, we have to go back to social, have a shower, and get The military know well the acronym KISS (‘Keep It changed before going to supper because we are not Simple, Stupid’). Can we have a bit of military allowed into supper in games kit. We then arrive at common sense at the menu meetings, then? around twenty to seven when, if there is anything other Simple food cooked well is infinitely better than than the veggie option, there certainly aren’t any complicated food. The trouble is that complicated food puddings, salad, sauces or milk. As the calendar says looks better on menus. ‘Queue by 6:45’ one would think that there would be Every single day when I am trying to pick what food food at 6.45. We’re sure once the chefs work out what to eat, I see what would have been a delicious serving we like, the problem of running out of the most of a meal, but then spot mushrooms, onions, or popular options will reduce, but we are not the only something else unnecessarily complicating the dish. ones in saying that if we get in from sport late then the The other day there was Chicken Pasta Bake...but food is often truly substandard. We don’t think it is mushrooms had infiltrated beneath the surface. What fair that those people who don’t do any proper sport is the point? Why not have Chicken Pasta Bake, with get the best range; by the time we Lycra types get in, only chicken, pasta, and cheese? I have had a decent often exhausted, the ‘choice’ has deteriorated so much chicken Korma, but served on rice with raisins! I’ve that we don’t have anything decent to sustain had curries with pineapple added into them; to be ourselves through the evening and some dons’ extra perfectly honest with you I don’t think there’s a dish in prep (because ‘it was your fault that I forgot to set it Hall I’ve had that has not, at some point, been married yesterday’). with pineapple. Is there a glut of pineapples on the Yours hungrily, world market? Does Radley own a pineapple J16.2 plantation in the Philippines or something? Lamb 90 THE RADLEY COLLEGE CHRONICLE 6 July 2007 Dear Sirs, at this time of year. I for one have no problem with In the 6th June issue of the Chronicle, a letter was this proud display of homoerotic play, these written mentioning about the strangeness of not sublimated acts of penetration. Each to their own, I applauding in Chapel. I agree quite strongly with say, as all good Observer readers must... However, I them! I played quite recently, and I admit that I was a do have a problem with participants’ protestations that bundle of nerves all the way through it. So when I sat this is normal behaviour. I don’t claim to have had down, quite proudly having played my piece, being exhaustive experience of the ways of the world, but I greeted by nothing but silence made me think ‘Thanks have got some perspective from which to observe this a lot!’. Perhaps a little bit more appreciation for the practice, and I have never yet seen it occur elsewhere. musician during Chapel as well as after? I understand Yours, the fact that it is a Chapel, but a few moments’ pause ‘FREUD’ followed by ‘Let us pray’ isn’t quite satisfactory for the performer – and I’m sure fellow Chapel performers Dear Sirs, will agree. I hate to pour cold water on the atheist enthusiasms of Yours, ‘M Luther’, but sadly, no one at Radley forces you to ‘A MUSICIAN’ attend Chapel, or to believe anything in particular. You make a decision, of your own free will, to bind Dear Sirs, yourself to the will of a Christian school, and if you want to stay here, you have to abide by those rules, Being a musician myself, I sympathise with ‘A and they include going to Chapel. But you are free at Remove’s’ letter regarding playing in chapel. any time to walk away, and attend the local However, I do not feel anything should be changed comprehensive or sixth form college – or indeed from the way it is now – as it is, I personally cringe another public school, if you can persuade them to when the Bishop of Reading invites us to applaud accept you. newly confirmed candidates at confirmation services. Having applause in Chapel is another step towards I would also be careful, if I were you, about pushing jumping up and down in the pews shouting ‘Praise the the ‘I’m eighteen, so I am free from the shackles of my Lord! Hallelujah!’. And I wouldn’t approve of that. parents’ line, lest they invite you to fund your own school fees, not to mention university (so much less Yours, fun without Daddy’s money for those riotous parties). ‘OLD-SCHOOL’ Yours, ‘NIMROD’ Dear Sirs, I have been reading many extremely interesting letters Dear Sirs, and articles in the Chronicle over the last two years Regarding M LUTHER’s letter on over-18s rights etc., which have been full of suggestion on how better to I write to acknowledge that he is probably, in theory, run the school. However, I am unable to summon to right. Unfortunately for him and other said ‘free- mind a single instance of when a suggestion has spirited’ 6.2s, their parents signed that right away this caused action to be taken. Obviously things like the time five years ago. regeneration of College Pond are long term projects which we cannot expect to happen in the next few Yours, weeks, or for that matter with the help of the students DUSTER themselves. But there are things which would be easy to trial or run. I am not sure whether the catering staff Dear Sirs, read the Chronicle; in some respects I hope they don’t, Is there a reason why signs in the Not So New Any but so many good issues and well-founded ideas have More Theatre and in other places around the school been raised but then seem to have been ignored. insist on saying ‘Toilets’? The vast majority of people Yours revolutionarily, here do not say toilet; there’s a popular group on ‘LENIN’ Facebook called ‘I say loo not toilet’, and most people here are of this persuasion. Anyone who thinks I should stop being old-fashioned should just think for a Dear Sirs, second: we wear gowns in the 21st century and in any I feel moved to write on the grand Radley tradition case, since when has this place cared about being that is known as ‘Bums’. The sight of strapping young behind the times? Radleians ringing a kneeling companion, posterior Yours, rakishly cocked, and successively propelling a football at his fundament is a familiar one on the games pitches ‘SPARKLE’ 91 6 July 2007 THE RADLEY COLLEGE CHRONICLE

CRICKET: SEASON REPORTS

1ST XI There have been moments in the season where a certain match-day naivety or a lack of tactical presence The words of Horatio Nelson that ‘every man shall do at key moments has cost us games that we could have his duty’ have Bigside this season. Unlike most 1st XIs on the circuit this year we do not possess an won. The Cowdrey Cup tie against Eton was another example of the naivety of our batting display costing outstanding individual, bound for stardom in the halls us, with only 150 being posted which was never of fame of schoolboy cricket, like Sam Northeast of Harrow, Hamza Riazzudin of Bradfield or Van de enough against a competent Eton side. Winchester represented the perfect opportunity for us to start the Spaar of Eton; on any given day many different individuals chip in to produce a robust and impressive second half of term well and with young Nicholas Ramsay (A) making an impressive debut in the performance on the pitch. bowling department and an opening stand of 60 The outstanding moments of the season have come between Wynne-Griffith and John Henry Johnson (G), away at Bradfield and Charterhouse and at home to we looked well on course for victory. However, a top Marlborough. The first was a perfect example of order collapse left the captain fighting with the tail and collective strength overcoming individual brilliance. In with the required rate increasing relentlessly the game bowling first we witnessed the class of their star player slipped away. in Hamza who managed to amass 155 in supreme style. Chasing over 200 on a wearing pitch against At Stowe the rain poured down until lunch leaving a 40 over game in which we needed to increase our Bradfield’s relatively strong bowling attack looked usual scoring rate. A slow pitch combined with a wet like a tall order, but a classy 60 from Henry Bailey (E) combined with a match winning 70 from George Coles outfield left us too many runs short of a par total, but this did not stop Bailey notching up another (G) paved the way for Theo Freyne (A) to launch a impressive fifty. In the field some wayward bowling towering six to secure victory. With captain Jos North (B) being unable to bat or bowl after a bloody injury in combined with sloppy fielding at key moments allowed their opener to dictate proceedings and for the field to his hand, it was a heroic performance. Stowe to register an unworthy victory. As the Stowe The win against Marlborough should have been a players celebrated on their home ground, there was a routine chase after the high quality bowling of opener sense of déjà vu relating to our Eton game. We had Johnny Stanton (B) and Freddie Lyon (B) had been here before. restricted the opposition to a mere 120 off 55 overs. The game against Harrow is always a big ask for any However, as seemed to have been our habit with low scores, we made things very difficult for ourselves. normal schoolboy side such is their wealth of talent from all over the world. We put up a brave fight and With number 11 batsman Lyon accompanied by the showed that we thoroughly deserved to be on the same unbeaten Coles at the crease, we were still four runs short of victory and the odds were heavily against us. pitch as them. Jos North showed that the gulf in class was nothing to right home about with a classy fifty. However, Freddie miraculously blocked out four balls Against the best attack on the circuit, he made up for from their opening bowler to allow George heroically to strike the winning runs with a precise clip over mid- the missed opportunities of last year. Nevertheless, Harrow won by four wickets. wicket. The game against Charterhouse remains our only win Recently, two wins forecast against Abingdon and Wellington have been snatched away from us by the in the Cowdrey Cup: it was the collective effort in the insistent rain. A swash-buckling 58 from John-Henry field which eventually won the game. On a relatively quick track the top order failed to fire with Freyne and Johnson (G) helped us to a total of 192 against Abingdon. However, play was suspended with the David Wynne-Griffith (D) falling cheaply, and it was opposition at 5 for 1. Moreover, we dominated only thanks to a last-ditch fifty from James Ivory (F) and resistance from North that scraped us to a low but Wellington by bowling them out for 98 in which Ramsay and the imperious Jack Mendelssohn (E) defendable total of 160. Charterhouse started their run chase complacently with their top order making good shone once again in the bowling department. For a Remove, Ramsay bowled beautifully, showing what starts. Gradually, tenacious fielding and particularly he can bring to the side in future years. tight bowling from the B Social trio of North, Lyon and Stanton wore the opposition down as they gave There have been great performances with bat and ball their wickets away all too easily. There was also a – Coles with over 300 runs and Mendelssohn with comprehensive win against a poor Teddies side in over 20 wickets – but it is JRWB’s eloquently which North scored an elegant 60. expressed esprit d’équipe which has made this such an enjoyable season on and off the field. 92 THE RADLEY COLLEGE CHRONICLE 6 July 2007 2ND XI 4TH XI The 2nd XI has had much success so far without quite Throughout this season the fourths have displayed a becoming an outstanding side. They have won 6 and healthy attitude towards the game, always aiming to lost 2 matches; in the latter cases, a failure of nerve win and to play in the right spirit. No games have been when chasing quite gettable totals against good lost and only one drawn (very much a winning draw opposition has been their downfall. Alex Jerram (F) against Aldworth, a club side). At the heart of the has been an excellent captain, and is by far the biggest success has been the balance of the side – lots of wicket-taker; he has been practically unplayable at excellent bowlers and everyone can bat – yet equally times (although he has not made the runs he is capable leadership has played its part and Charlie Williams (F) of). He has been well supported by Edward deserves great credit for that. His cheerful approach Troubridge (F), Gus North (G), Bertie Lyons (A) and has got the best out of every player. Harry Charlie Duckworth (D). Nick Buchanan (G) has been Jennings (G) never says die: gritty innings have been a potent force since joining the side. The batting has instrumental in bringing about several victories....the been brilliant at times, although inconsistent under talent and hitting of Charlie Wood (E), George Frewer pressure. John-Henry Johnson (G) made 50 and 105 (G) and the giant Tom Hoyer Millar (D) was rewarded before promotion to the 1st XI; Richard Savill (G), with many runs and the accuracy and guile of our Myles Dowley (A) and Chris Baillie (F) have all made bowlers such as Raffles Leigh-Pemberton (C), James big scores; Jamie Hepburn (D) has become a Johnson (G) and Jamie Hanson (D) brought lots of consistent opening batsman; Ed Hodgson (H) made a wickets. A great season. big impact in his only game; Will Gubbins (H) has A small mention of Tom Walton’s (D) Fifth XI who made regular and important contributions with bat and were unbeaten in their two matches against Eton and ball. The fielding has been brilliant at times, Winchester. Ed Crichton (C) starred as principal incompetent at others. We aim to win our last three batsman and Tom conjured excellent bowling from games and finish with an impressive record. George Nye (E), Tom Brougham (G) and the ever JFCN enigmatic Peter Gwynn (D). MJSH 3RD XI I’m pleased to say that normal service is continuing COLTS 2 rd with the 3 XI as all opposition have been swept aside Colts 2 have done well thus far, with easy wins over (well almost all – only the ‘huzzaring’ Etonian Cheltenham and Teddies, and mature, well-managed Strawberries had the better of us- or so they claimed, wins over Marlborough, Winchester and, pleasingly, the scorebook suggests otherwise...). A classic 83 from Harrow. The only blip has been a right royal stuffing Charlie Akingbehin (B) got us away smartly against by Eton, only partially redeemed by 53 from Chalk Cheltenham. Skipper Jamie Pinnington (E) has been (C). Bromley-Martin (G) and Vaughan (E) have combining some cleverly disguised plans in the field bowled particular well, while Holbech (B) has scored with some superb aggressive batting, hitting 80+ the most runs – including 77 v Teddies and 95 v against Teddies and Harrow. The latter was a Winchester. Grace (A) batted through for 71 not out v tremendous knock against a side that thought they Marlborough. were a bit special (surely not...). Tom Kenning has a style all of his own, presumably derived from some IKC expert coaching on the squash court, but he has been mighty effective in compiling 51 v Eton and 83 v Stowe. The ‘Bodfather’, Nick Boddy (G), put Harrow COLTS 3 to the sword with an excellent 50, but the find of the The first of four scheduled matches of the season for season is his bowling, as he gathered four Teddies the mighty Colts 3 was against Eton. Radley put wickets (oddly he has not been given the ball since – a together a moderate score, but Max Blanshard (B), bit of the green eyed monster in the Capt?). Jamie bowling fast a straight (for a change....) reduced Eton Randall (C) and Archie Graham-Watson (C) have led to 11 for 2 and we were in with a shout. Eton rallied the attack with aplomb, Jamie grabbing 5 wickets at and achieved the target for the loss of 4 wickets, a Abingdon in a spell of controlled brilliance. As with respectable loss for Radley (if there can be such a many of the school’s sides, the matches against Stowe thing). Another defeat, this time at the hands of and Abingdon were rained off with Radley in very Marlborough (though revenge would be had – read strong positions, and the Wellington game looked on), clearly put the frighteners on the Stowe 3rd XI fairly balanced as the heavens opened. who promptly cancelled their fixture for the following HDH week. The final game of the season was a return match 93 6 July 2007 THE RADLEY COLLEGE CHRONICLE against Marlborough. The weather took a turn for the KAM worse all week and it had threatened rain all Saturday JUNIOR COLTS 3 morning, but fortunately everything was pretty dry at Marlborough although we were to play on an artificial It is Monday afternoon practice. We are on Smithsons’ pitch since it had been bucketing down all week their pitch, at our noisiest, and Richard Akingbehin (B) is end. Marlborough were first to bat and were made to tearing in to bowl at new batsman Jack Emmett (H). look rather mediocre by a very strong and disciplined The ageing umpire can barely see the boundary let Radley bowling attack – nothing too wayward, but alone the fuzzy-looking hedge beyond, such is the perfectly focussed and persistently threatening. scale of the arena. Bigger than Bigside, this boundary. Marlborough were kept to a score of 160 runs all out. Will it be Richard’s deadly slower ball? Will it be his As in previous matches, Colts 3 had a tendency to play cunning full toss? Will it be down the leg side? Or will as they often did in the nets: the main aim being to belt it hit a good length? But such doubts make little the ball over the first pavilion, but not this time. Many difference to Jack, who has decided which shot to play brilliant performances, particularly Arthur Sawbridge before Richard has begun to run in. It is a huge, (E), who built up a steady and disciplined innings that powerful lofted drive aimed at deep long on. The ball acted as the bedrock on which the rest of the team rises high and long, far away as the umpire and were able to contribute. Radley reached the fielders turn to watch. Higher and longer. Finally Marlborough total with ease, and won by several descending, with a touch of snow on top, it wickets. comfortably clears the hedge and disappears into the field. The local wildlife is disturbed; pigeons take to CMB & RAK the air. It is the biggest six in JC3’s season – for that matter, in any JC3 season. The bowler congratulates the batsman, and Oli Mackenzie (F) is directed to field JUNIOR COLTS 1 the next delivery by standing on top of the sight JC1 has made a good start to the season. P-6; W-4; screen. L-2. Losses were to Eton (30 runs) and Harrow (24 runs). Nicholas Ramsay (A) is congratulated warmly SAH on being selected for Big Side as an opening bowler. Hector Freyne (H) has excelled as the captain. He has JUNIOR COLTS 4 also qualified twice for the 4/50 competition: 4-18 (Eton) and 4-20 (St Edwards) as has Sam Aldrich with JC4 have had a mixed season, with 3 wins and 3 4-1 (Cheltenham). Batting stars have been Jamie losses. No one batsman dominated the team, but Wynne-Griffith (D) with a top score of 47 and Will everyone chipped in at some stage of the season. 50s Eden (B) with 41. Great progress has been made, came from Ben Palmer (E), Bob Crosbie Dawson (A) particularly in fielding and George Milner (C) has and Hamish Van Gruisen (D). Similarly with bowling, performed brilliantly behind the stumps. the team had breadth, but no one who put too much fear into the opposition. Nick Pattinson (C), Van NLH Gruisen and Harry Hill (H) led the attack, with some success, and Jack Emmett (H) provided the team with a spinning option. Charlie Liddle (C) ably led the JUNIOR COLTS 2 team. Winchester saw another fine performance from Radley DWSR with a score of 208. Harry Sparks (B) (53) and Tom Over (E) (43) led the way before George Cantlay (D) took 4-16, with 3 wickets in the last over to bowl MIDGETS 1 Winchester out for 66. Harrow proved to be just a little too good for us, but a decent knock of 35 from This has been a very impressive term for the top Ali Maxwell (A) at the top of the innings got us off to Midgets team, who easily outclassed all their a good start that was spoilt by a middle order collapse. opponents with the exception of a strong Harrow side. Only 34 from Finn Dowley (A) allowed us to get to a Success has been firmly built around six quality respectable total of 143, but our bowling was poor and bowlers in Rory Hunter (B), Tom White (A), George we could not defend it. Abingdon were then put to the Bland (C), Angus Gubbins (G), Alex Low (G) and sword led by 87 NO from George Boughey (C). George Craven (H); all six bowl wicket-taking Bristol also contributed with 40 and saw us to 174 deliveries yet are also able to bowl tightly enough to from 30 overs. A fine bowling performance with 2 pressurise batsmen into errors. This attack was made wickets apiece to Ollie Hayes (F), Over, and Nick Gill to look even better by the excellent wicket keeping of (B) (and one of the finest catches I have seen in the Rupert Grace (A). Despite a string of big hitting deep from Dowley) saw us romp to victory. batsmen – such as George Collard (F), Archie Nelson 94 THE RADLEY COLLEGE CHRONICLE 6 July 2007 (A), Grace and Low – we have only really put together Bradfield, rapid 50s by Dan Brownlee and Giles one big partnership, and only Collard has consistently Harwood saw us through to a 6 wicket victory, while looked like scoring runs. As well as the big guns Os Toby Thorp’s unbeaten 50 against Marlborough Miller (G), Harry Swift (F) and Henry Wakefield (H) secured a comfortable win there as well. The last two have shown promise and have the potential to build matches have exposed some weaknesses, particularly big innings. However, it has been quite hard to judge in the field of extras, which have been profligate, and the quality of our batting given that only twice were against Cothill cost us the match. Charlie Maidment we required to chase totals greater than 120. This is a (F) has been the tightest of the bowlers, though others strong side, pushed very hard by the sides below them; have taken some good wickets. The batting remains this is a year group to watch in the future. strong (Will Richardson’s (H) 50 against Harrow was MKTH very impressive), and much of the fielding has been exemplary; but the toughest matches are still to come.

CJE MIDGETS 2

With seven wins and two draws, the team has plenty MIDGETS 5, 6 & 7 of bowling ability, so long as it is medium to fast right arm over variety! When batting first, lack of focus has The team spirit was admirably strong this year with all meant high scores have been hard to come by, but the personnel of Midgets 5 and 6 demonstrating fortunately the team has been able to bowl sides out on tremendous loyalty, unity and skill. It was a great several occasions. The stiffest competition has come pleasure to beat Winchester, Marlborough and a from Cheltenham and Harrow and we were relieved to number of other strong cricketing schools at this level. have beaten both. So far, Charlie Hamilton has 17 The loss to a prep school – the Dragon – by Midgets 5, wickets to his name at average of 8.1 and Henry has been erased from the history books and no one has Wakefield (H), Angus McAlpine (A), and James ever heard of it... Hallam (C) have scored 169, 173 and 176 runs A number of people stand out. Max Black (E) was a respectively. To cap these achievements, Tristan phenomenally cool batsman and gained one half Jermyn (H) has a batting average of 92! century and a number of other high scores. It is no ACW surprise he went up to Midgets 4 for a while. William Hubbard (F) saved us many runs with his strong arm,

scooping up a number of long hits, stopping the fours MIDGETS 3 and then landing the ball on top of the wicket. Tom It was a fine season for the M3 squad and one that Chatfeild-Roberts (A) made some legendary catches, commenced on a winning note. The opening game fearlessly stopping high velocity balls moving towards against Eton looked a daunting prospect given that his head on the horizontal. Humphrey Laidlaw (H), they amassed 95/1 off the first 9 overs in chasing Edward Leeming (A) and Edward Fuscone (A) were down Radley’s 213. A Radley victory with 3 runs to very capable wicket keepers. When we fielded tightly, spare made for a thrilling conclusion to the match, and we were pretty unstoppable, as the game with a impressive opening to the season which saw runs Winchester demonstrated. Gardie James Duff (A) was heaped up by Harry Hall (B), Dan Brownlee (E) and a reliable and inspirational captain for Midgets 6 – and Rory Odam Smith (B) amongst others. Fine quick also at one point for the team above – while Laidlaw bowling from Will Willis (C) and some cultured leg- and Black also led very well. spin bowling from George Fox-Edwards (C) meant Bowling was of a very high quality, with the number that very few opponents ever came close to our totals. of wides and no balls considerably down on previous The team remained undefeated for the season, and years at this level. Congratulations to David Lindesay- demonstrated a strength at this level that bodes well Bethune (B) and Hector Robinson (C), among others, for Radley cricket in the future. on a high standard of varied delivery. The prep schools RBM are clearly doing a very good job of training up talent. It has been a terrific season and well done indeed to all those – named and unnamed in this report – who made MIDGETS 4 it such a pleasant and rewarding experience to coach the mighty Midgets Third Game. The team have specialised in close finishes this season. They began with a last-ball loss to Eton by 3 SR/DCKE/RDS runs, and failed also against Cheltenham by 10 runs, losing their last wicket in the penultimate over. There were also a couple of thumping wins, however; against 95 6 July 2007 THE RADLEY COLLEGE CHRONICLE

EDITORS INDEX Alex Easdale (A), Will Baker (B), Max Blanshard (B), Vol. VII No. 3 6 July 2007 Will Symington (B), Asa Bennett (C), Ben Sheen (C), David Wynne-Griffith (D), Felix Neate (E), Radopoly 61 Freddie Tapner (F), Henry Woodward-Fisher (G), Overheard 63 Noah Assheton (H), Alex Chadwick (H), Chris Taylor A Poll on Reading 64 (H), Jamie Crole (H), Remove English Trip to the Globe 64 Mr Luke Bartlett and Mr Ian Yorston. Lord of the Flies – Shell Play 65 Professionalization 66 West Side Story Concert 67 Poets’ Corner – Not My Best Poem 68 Death of a Naturist 69 H Social Summer Concert 70 Unexpected Losers 71 Work Experiences 72 Classics trip to Athens 74 Le Cercle d’Europe 75 Orchard House – End of an Era 76 Shell Geography trip to Wales 78 The Chronicle Guide to eBay 79 Leavers’ Recitals 80 A Tutor’s Diary Quiz – Answers 81 Predictions for Harry Potter 7 82 SPEW 83 Hymn Singing at Radley 84 Concert Review: mycodenameis:milo etc 85

Social Barbeques – Part Two 86 If any Radleian is interested in writing for the Correspondence 87 Chronicle, becoming an Editor or working on the Cricket: Season Reports 90 layout and illustrations, please contact LB or ISY. The illustrations on pages 60 & 61 are by Ben Sheen (C); those on pages 62, 65, 85 & 88 are by Adrian Pascu (OR); and those on pages 78 & 95 are by Arthur Laidlaw (H). ASSISTANT EDITORS CONTRIBUTORS Alex Wise (C), Archie Manners (C), Jamie Randall Rupert Grace (A), George Lines (B), Charlie Palmer (C), Rory Stallibrass (C), Nick Summerlin (F), (B), Charles Wallis (B), William Eden (B), Alistair Richard Martyn Hemphill (F), Robert Winters Fatemi (D), Arthur Sawbridge (E), Charlie Ronaldson (F) & Arthur Laidlaw (H). Brookhouse (F), Rory Robinson (F) & Andrew Savill (G)

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The first issue of Vol. VIII will be published at the end of September. The Editors wish everyone a relaxing Summer holiday. © Radley College 2007. Printed by Radley Reprographics

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