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LIBERATION OF DESIRE by KATHLEEN MARY WILSON A dissertation submitted in partial fulfillment of the requirement for the degree of DOCTOR OF PHILOSOPHY IN PSYCHOLOGY MERIDIAN UNIVERSITY 2009 Copyright by KATHLEEN MARY WILSON 2009 LIBERATION OF DESIRE by KATHLEEN MARY WILSON A dissertation submitted in partial fulfillment of the requirements for the degree of DOCTOR OF PHILOSOPHY IN PSYCHOLOGY MERIDIAN UNIVERSITY 2009 This dissertation has been accepted for the faculty of Meridian University by: ___________________________________________ Aftab Omer, Ph.D. Dissertation Advisor ___________________________________________ Melissa Schwartz, Ph.D. Dissertation Chair ___________________________________________ Shoshana Fershtman, Ph.D. Doctoral Project Committee Member ABSTRACT LIBERATION OF DESIRE by Kathleen Mary Wilson This research sought to understand individuals’ experience of images and affects associated with stifled desires to see if this process would promote liberation of desire. The Research Problem was: In what ways can engaging with stifled desire release one from pseudoinnocence? The Research Hypothesis was: By attending to shame one releases the contraction of pseudoinnocence. The Literature Review explores the notion that desire serves to motivate and define one’s being. It addresses unattended emotions, especially shame and the healing role of perversion. Imaginal approaches to desire show links between desire and daimon, myth, nature, and spirit. There is a lack of experienced-based research which approaches desire as striving to recover acquaintance with one’s Being. The study’s methodology utilized Imaginal Inquiry. Seven participants met for two individual meetings. They experienced images of stifled desire through exposure to film, guided meditation, artmaking, and reflexive dialogues. The study’s cumulative learning was: Shame lifts, and desire moves when desire is aligned with the desire of one’s daimon and divine Beloved Other. Five learnings emerged. First, desire to retreat from life’s intrinsically overwhelming condition, to avoid affective experience, notably fear, anger, shame, and imagery around death, maintains a iv v pseudoinnocent stance, which cuts one off from actualizing power. Second, impacted by unattended affects of anger, grief, fear, and shame, pseudoinnocence is expressed through conflictual and unsatisfying reactive enactments. Third, attending to imagery, especially elemental imagery of fire, gives access to energy and creates psychic movement, enabling one to attend to painful stories of powerlessness, failure, resentment and victimization, along with the affects of anger and shame. Fourth, shame lifts when one’s desire is more deeply aligned with the desire of their daimon. Fifth, engaging the daimon figure is accompanied by images from the natural sensuous world, which are inherently energizing, empowering, and bring psychic movement because desire is more deeply aligned with the desire of one’s daimon and divine Beloved Other. The study’s reflections focus on desire’s story through the myths of Persephone and Marquis de Sade. Mature connection with darker emotions linked to the desire of Daimon can challenge power structures in creative, transformative ways. ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS I offer my deep gratitude to all the people who supported me through the process of writing this dissertation. I give profound thanks to Aftab Omer, my Dissertation Advisor, who helped me identify and express my philosophical interest in desire, the Other, and the more experiential life desire wanted from me. I am indebted to Aftab Omer and Melissa Schwartz, the founders of Meridian University, who provided a vision of graduate education that included transformative learning experiences. This type of exploration and the way it allowed me to learn was fundamental to my continuing personal transformation, my training, my approach to research, and the writing of my dissertation. I give a special thanks to my dissertation study group, Sandra Shelly, Trudy Vandell, Joyce Moulden, and Susan Flatmo for years of reading my work, providing love, friendship, and unlimited support. My deep appreciation goes to Susan Flatmo, the co-researcher, for thousands of hours of stimulating conversation on the topic of desire along with her keen insights, including emotional encouragement. I also feel deep appreciation for Joyce Moulden who acted as my pillar of support and provided her razor sharp editing and formatting capacity in the days preceding the final presentation of the dissertation. I am grateful to the following people for their contributions to me during this process: Astrid Berg, my editor, for her grasp of my subject and her capacity with the language; Joy Policar for her many hours of humorous deep conversations around the vi vii writing process, her encouragement, and the gift of modeling extraordinary, vulnerable, emotional intelligence; and Laurel Mellin for her wise clear perception, insightful questions, and constant validation of my efforts during our walks. Finally, my deepest gratitude to my friend of 40 years, Lee Flynn, who used her keen intelligence, humor, and love as a delicate scalpel to keep me true to myself when my psyche needed it during this long process. She helped hold the vision of my desire for a completed dissertation and my future work. Her unerring commitment to social justice and telling the story of the other through photography and film has always contributed to our interesting and challenging conversations which continue to inspire me in my creation of a vision of the next step toward my unfolding work in the world. CONTENTS ABSTRACT ...................................................................................................................... iv ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS .............................................................................................. vi Chapter 1. INTRODUCTION .................................................................................................. 1 Research Topic Relationship to the Topic Theory-in-Practice Research Problem and Hypothesis Methodology and Research Design Learnings Significance and Implications of the Study 2. LITERATURE REVIEW ..................................................................................... 23 Introduction and Overview Depth Psychological Perspectives on Desire Desire, Attachment, and Affect Imaginal Approaches to Desire Imagination of Desire: Imaginal World of Autonomous Spirit Conclusion 3. METHODOLOGY ............................................................................................. 111 INTRODUCTION AND OVERVIEW PARTICIPANTS FOUR PHASES OF IMAGINAL INQUIRY viii ix Chapter 4. LEARNINGS ...................................................................................................... 136 Introduction and Overview Cumulative Learning: Shame Lifts and Desire Moves when Desire Aligns with the Desire of One’s Daimon and Divine Beloved Other Learning One: Stifled Desire: Emotional Retreat and Inertia Learning Two: Stifled Desire: Unsatisfying Enactments of Aliveness Counteract Deadness Learning Three: Elemental Imagery: Access To Energy and Movement Learning Four: Aligning Desire with Daimon Learning Five: Desire of Daimon and the Divine Beloved Other Conclusions 5. REFLECTIONS .................................................................................................. 225 Introduction and Overview Significance of Learnings Mythic and Archetypal Reflections Implications of the Study for Various Constituencies Appendix ........................................................................................................................ 258 1. Ethics Application................................................................................................ 259 2. Conceptual Outline .............................................................................................. 272 3. Chronological Outline ......................................................................................... 274 4. Informed Consent ................................................................................................ 278 5. Flyer Inviting Participation in Study ................................................................... 280 6. Phone Screen for Prospective Research Participants .......................................... 281 7. Confirmation Letter ............................................................................................ 284 8. Scripts for The First Meeting .............................................................................. 285 9. Scripts for Second Meeting ................................................................................. 291 10. Plot Summaries of Movies ................................................................................ 296 x Appendix 11. Film Clip Presentation Requirements ............................................................... 299 12. Guided Meditation: Meeting Two .................................................................... 300 13. Music for the Guided Meditation on: Meeting Two ......................................... 302 14. Summary of Data .............................................................................................. 303 NOTES .......................................................................................................................... 322 REFERENCES ..............................................................................................................367 CHAPTER 1 INTRODUCTION