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Jack Benny Program 1952 Jan-Mar.Pdf PROGRAM #17 RfiVZSID SCRIPT M1L'RICAP TOBACCO COMPANY LUCKY STRIKE THE JACK HENNY PROGRAM SUNDAY, JAPNARY 6, 1952 CBS 4 :00 - 4 :30 .PM PST 4 TC RTHO1 01 8 161 8 THE JACK BENNY PROGRAM SUNDAY, JANUARY 6, 1952 GPENING CGM1RMERCIAL ~ SHARBUTT : THE JACK BENNY PROGRAM . .- presented by LUCKY STRIKE! GRCH : (FULL VAMP) CHGRUS : Be Happy -- Go Lucky Be Happy -- Get Better Taste Be Happy -- Go Lucky a Get Better Taste Today! (SHORT CLOSE) MARTIN : Luckies . taste . better! SHARBUTT : (STRAIGHT Ik:11VERY) So mild, so smooth, so firm and fresh -- with better taste in every pufff MARTIN : Yes, Luokies taste better! For Luckies fine, mild, good- tasting tobacco goes into the cigarette proved the beet-made of all five principal brands . Let me repeat that . proved the best-made of all five principal brands! That's not an empty claim -- that's a fact -- verified by leading laboratory consultants . For example, Foster D . Snell, of New York City, who report . SHARBUTT : "In our opinion, the properties measure are all important factors affecting the taste of cigarette smoke . We conclude that Lucky Strike is the best-made of the five major brands ." t.1AHTIN : And don't forget -- LS/MFT -- Lucky Strike means fine tobacco -- fine, mild, good-tasting tobacco . There's no substitute for fine tobacco -- and don't let anybody tell you different! (CONTINUED) arx 01 0 1 8 1619 THE JACK BE NNY PROGRAM SUNDAY, JANUARY 6, IQ52 OPENING CO6V+tERCIAL (OJNT'D) SHARBUTT : So reaember the facts! Enjoy fine, mild, good-tasting tobacco in the cigarette that tastes better -- Lucky Strike! MARTIN : Nfhen you buy cigarettes remember -- Luckies taste better! ORCH : (FGLL VAMP) CHORUS : Be Happy -- Go Lucky c (REPRISE) Go Lucky Strike todayl (LONG CLOSE) RTH01 0181620 ~- (TIBSS B007IBE) . (SPfEB 1malCI1L, 1VlBtC UP ABD DOYE) . DOgt 78E LDOEI SIBIKE PHIOEAM, S7lBEIEO JACS B9t4 . .Y278 M.iffi LIYIB6S708E, PHIL BABBIS, BDCSES7EB, DHPBIS DAT, 7iiE SFOB7Slag QOIBTS7, AID sIODRS IBDLIa DOB YII.808 . (APPLWOg. .Ie1SIC UP AID DOYE) ' DOEi LSDIBS AED OHI7LDIF8, AS TOB ALL EiOY, IE THE BOSE BOYL GINE OE 1 EEY IEAB'S DIT, ILLIWIB BCALPED 76E SSLNPOBD IMDIWS . .80 NOV YE BBIDO IOU A IW/ VBO COOLD DSE OEE Or S80SE SCptPS . .7AQ BAfgI . .(APPLSDBB) JACE, 7hsnk yon, thaok you .- . th .nk yen - thank you -. Bello again, this Sa Jack pmey talking.. .And Don .. .you ean stop I,Urr.ting teoause that was the rorst toupsy 7ek . I enr hnrd .. .7ot oaly that . but it raa in tary bad tasta . D06, Ead tute! JACg, Ias, I doa'tiLLnd for qsalf, but it so happens that the EtanfoN soaM, CAaek 7qler really wars a tatpp . DOEi Fou vait a ifnnta, Jaok . .I talkad to Chuck Taylor right before the gaaa, be's thirty-aae years old, .od he bflnitelr kg MA BYA heiS- JACEs Shat uns sh fors th. game . .But vheu Illinois seorad their first first taunhdoun, his 4.1r started to go . .Dy the md af the third psriod it ves piling up on the gronnd . ..and e11 through that favth Rnarter, it Jnst laid thera and turnad gray . But, Don, GN.t ru really soca gau, naan't it? A 1" H01 0161621 -2- 'DON : It certainly was . And Jack, I heard you were sitting right . on the fifty yard line . How'd you get such a good seat? JACK : Well, Don, it wasn't easy . You see, even though 2've lived in California for the past fifteen years, I was born in Waul:egan . .so in order to get tickets, I called Governor Stevenson of Illinois . DON : (- And ~e got you the tickets? / ~l JACKCC)d*o .t [e couldn't do anything for me personally, so he called ~i Govornor Warren of California : Well, it was nice ofGovernor Warren. DON to give you the tickets . Y JACK : We1l . .He couldn't do anything for me either, so he called Mr . McMillan the City Manager of pasadena who got in touch with Nancy Thorne, the Queen of the Tournament of Rosea . DON : Oh, the Queen got you the tickets . y~ . JACK: Tickets? . DON : i~s , how'did yoss get in? JACK : I was the third princess on her right . .I not only saw the game but Jtonight I've got a date with the Stanford center . i~i The way he raved over my blue eyes, I didn't have the heart - to tell him . Don, who were you rooting for at the game7 DON : Well, Jack, I didn't want to show any partiality so I got a seat on the Stanford eide and a seat on the Illinois side . JACK : Don, how could you possibly sit on both sides of the ---Oh, - oh, of course . And Don, weren't you disappointed when you weren't picked as the winning float? DON : I would have won but I was sabotaged . C F3 1- >l 0 1 07 6 1 6 <2 ~° -3- JACK : 0h yes(,~ Well, better luck next year . PHIL: Hi ya, Donsy . DON ~1~-Flello, Phil . JACK: Hello, Phi1 . .Don and I were just discussing the Rose Bowl geme . Were you there? PHIL: No, not this year . JACK: Well, you must've watched it on television . A PHIL: I started to, Jackson, but I turned it off . DON : Phil, how could you turn it off? It was a wonderful game . PHIir. I know, but I just couldn't take it . JACK : What do you mean? PHIL : Look Jackson, it's New yearis Day, I'm laying there .with my eyes bloodshot, an ice bag on my head, the room spinning, and some character keeps yelling, "Look sharp, feel sharp, be sharp" JACK : Phil -- . PHIL: If I had anything sharp I'da cut my throat . JACK : All right, Phil, you've celebrated, you had your fun . .now it's time to work, and the least you could have done is to see that all your boys showed up . PHIL: What are you talking about? The band's here . JACK : Where's Remley, 8ammy, and Bagby? . .your hoodlum section is missing . PHIL: Hoodltnn section? Now hold it, Jackson, I don't think 1t's very nice the way you go on week after week insulting those three boys . They may not be college graduates, but they come from good families, they're sensitive, refined, and perfect gentlemen . .and it's your fault that they're not here today. N TC FiT}S01 018162 :.1 _,<_ JACK : . MY fault? PHIL: yeah, if you paid me more money, I could have bailed 'em out . JACK: Phil . .they're in jail? What for? .' PHIL: Crossing the street in the middle of the block . JACK : Now wait a minute, Phi1 . .They can give you a tioket, but they can't put you in jail forwalking across the street . PHIL : On their hands and knees? "JACK : Oh we11, that's different . .Al1 rlght, Phil, I'll give you the money .A Call up and get the boys out : ,Okay, hand me t p one . _1. ~- iPHIL UXx<ae : ~~++ca ~ (SOUND : RE.CEIVIIfi UP . .DIALZNG) . KEARNS : (FIIffER) (STRAIGHT) Hello . PIIIL: Hello . Is this the Lincoln Heights Jail? KEAHNS :~ ~Well, Phil ~Harr~is,~. .~h~ow are you! PHIL: lY'N'ine, Captain .yy~called up about three of my boys . .They're on the County again . KEARNB : Which ones? PHIL : The three with the tire marks on their backs .AHNS : Oh those . I already released them . _ KF : But what about the bail? . PHIL TO F?TH01 0101624 -5- IffiqRNS : I charged iqt..t.o~ your accou ~ . PHIL : Good, good~// I thought~1 t waa overdrawn . KFARNS ; Ch by the way, Phi , -would you send someone down to pick up their belongings? ~ PgIL : Their belonZings? HI:F ,:JS ; Yee, when we arrested 'em, one of 'em was carrying a plano, ...C PYIL : I know.,, I Ys :cwrQJP~nqe bottle opener and they gotta nail it to the Steinway . :Se'~ Cap, ~ KSA.4NS : So long, Phil . (SOUND : AE CEIVER DCWN) / PHIL : ~sa-: It's all set, Jackson, they'll be back next week, and I just / hope you'll treat 'em nicer . JACK : Oh, I will, Phil, I will . Who knows, maybe they . Ch hello, Mary . , MARY : Hello, Jack . JACK : Well, 9ou're here . Now where's Dennis? A7N : I don't imow,,,,,he hasn't come in yet . JACK : Wei2;how can we go on with the show if t~= cast doesn't get here on time? (\• MARY : Ch Jack, don't be mad at Dennis . I happen to know .something that you don't know : Don't tell me .,, .1et. JACK me guess,,,It's about Dennis, .,I know . he's running for President . MARY: Besides that, JACK : What? MARY : Jack, this is something you won't believe . JACK : All right . what is it? piH01 018 1E+2 5 -6- MAHY : n~A11 of a sudden nnis got a big crush on me . JACK : c ush on you? MARY : Yeah . .Ever since last week when I danced with him at Charlie Foy's night club, he's been sending me notes and little pifts . ~ JACK: 61#'ks? What did he g ve you? MAHY : Oh lots of things . A(I4UGHINGIy) his Boy Scout lmife . a bag of marbles . .three Caoa=Co2a bottle caps f1`I3ed :=Y4,th mod . a ball of tin foil . .a fish hook and a dead frog . ~- JACK : You mean Dennis gave you all those--Mary, what's that you're . wearing on your leg? MARY : His bicycle clip, we're engaged .. JACK : Well, isnt that cute . So Dennis thinks he's in love with you .
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