pick-up artists pick-up artists PUA Lingo t’s 8pm on Friday at Ivy, horror or amusement 101 Could it be that any man who’s the modern PUA industry in the late Sydney’s classiest pick- as he makes a clumsy prepared to study PUA theory then put ’80s. Jeffries, a devotee of personal Cyber pulling up joint. I’m standing attempt to raunch Average Frustrated it into practice really can nail as many development programs, brought a five- Chump (AFC) next to pick-up artist things up. He doesn’t Men who enjoy limited success hot babes as he pleases? year dry patch to an end by using (PUA) coach Damien wait long. Paul with women due to a lack of Ever since women were Neuro-Linguistic Programming to seduce The mainstreaming of pick-up coaching coincided with the rise of online dating but, insight into them (that is, Chick crack surprisingly, seduction gurus have little advice to offer about how to bust a digital Diecke while he asks three abruptly leaves the most non-PUAs). Topics — such as royal invented, men have been women. He then began offering ‘Speed aspiring pants men — let’s set and returns to get weddings, Oprah’s weight issues, trying to work out how to Seduction’ seminars to men, training move on a girl. Here’s GQ’s tips: psychic abilities — it’s easy call them John, Paul and George — to Diecke’s feedback on his to engage women in get them in the sack. And, them in the Jedi mind tricks he deployed state their goals for the evening. attempt to “escalate” the conversation about. from the Roman poet Ovid to seduce the fairer sex. “To stay in a set for 10 minutes.” interaction, which consisted to the Italian rake Giacomo When the internet took off, Jeffries Think Facebook “To speak to six women.” of the following exchange: Casanova, there’s been no shortage set up a website and a newsgroup. From not RedHotPie “To get a girl’s number.” Paul: “Hi, what do you of worldly sensualists throughout the there it wasn’t long before online forums We’re not saying no man has ever Let’s Just successfully arranged a hook up via Their objectives clearly established, do for fun?” Be Friends (LJBF) ages who’ve been willing to offer their sprung up and men from around the one of those casual sex-focused Diecke sends his nervous but excited Girl: “I play volleyball.” Women’s way of befuddled brothers some helpful advice. globe were trading tips online and dating sites, but the odds aren’t in indicating they have no charges — who’ve each paid several Paul: “Do you play it in But before the pill kick-started the seeking advice from those who claimed your favour. Even if ‘Ms 69er’ is 1. sexual interest in you. a real woman rather than a fake (The lot of the AFC is thousand dollars for his tutelage — out the nude?” sexual revolution there was little point in to be achieving impressive results. Erik profile created by the site’s owner, to be constantly there’s going to be several hundred into the heaving throng to work their Girl: Awkward silence. LJBFed.) the average man boning up on the arts of von Markovic, an obscure Canadian other guys competing for her magic. John and Paul, two average- Next, George, a balding, seduction. The only woman likely to ever magician with an impressive strike rate favours. A more effective strategy looking guys in their mid-20s, approach divorced dad in his mid-40s, walks up sleep with him (without being paid to and a love of theorising, handed out is to get on Facebook, check out a group (or ‘set’ to use the PUA jargon) to a gaggle of pretty women half his age, do so) was the one legally obliged to: his advice for free for years before deciding your pals’ hot friends and ask to be introduced to them. of three women. “The dynamics are singles out the most attractive one and wife. But by the late ’60s, extra-marital to turn pro in 2002. Markovic, commonly all wrong there,” pronounces Diecke, starts talking to her. To my untrained sex — previously an indulgence referred to by his online PUA handle shaking his head. Sure enough, two eye it appears he’s batting way out of restricted to debauched aristocrats and ‘Mystery’, revolutionised the teaching of of the women quickly resume a private his league and I wait for the inevitable pick-up by taking it out of the classroom bohemian fringe-dwellers — had Don’t come conversation while John and Paul blow-off. It never arrives. Incredibly, the been democratised. In 1970, the and into the real world. Mystery Demonstration across compete for the attention of their friend, glamazon begins giggling and running of value Urtext of the PUA movement, accompanied his students to nightclubs as a tool Displaying a skill or attribute who also soon loses interest. her fingers through her hair. After ten Eric Weber’s How to Pick Up Girls, and made them keep approaching women You might think that profile pic that will make you seem more Undaunted, John and Paul immediately minutes, George successfully executes attractive to a woman. was published. The book sold until they got a result. 2. of you feigning intercourse with zero in on a nearby group of girls. “Paul’s a ‘number close’. After typing her phone millions, but Weber wasn’t offering Mystery’s first and most enthusiastic a frozen chicken makes you look like a fun guy. Trust us, no woman block is introducing sexuality into the number into his mobile, George struts anything more than many who’d student was a journalist called Neil you’re interested in will. Likewise, conversation,” Diecke informs me, adding back to Diecke, elated. I start to wonder come before him — written advice. Strauss. In 2005, Strauss released slang, bad grammar and misspelled words don’t make you appear he’s watching for the moment when the if the impossible promise made by PUA Ross Jeffries, an LA-based former a best-selling book detailing his almost young and hip, they make you look eyes of Paul’s latest target will widen in gurus such as Diecke might just be true. comedy writer, lay the groundwork for impossible to believe adventures with juvenile and moronic. Mystery, Jeffries and others in the PUA community. After readingThe Game: A beginner’s guide to pick-up by Damien Diecke Penetrating the Secret Society of Pick-Up Artists, millions of men around the world were filled with hope that they, like Strauss, could transform themselves from Smile Maintain eye Speak Create Visualise Dial back on the sexually frustrated losers to charismatic con ta c t confidently familiarity 5. big-noting and 1. players. Many of them went looking for compliments 3. a PUA guru of their own. 2. 4. What works face to face doesn’t 3. necessarily work in cyberspace. A survey of 500,000 ‘first contacts’ on US dating site OKCupid found the most successful men were those who veryone at the free were self-effacing and avoided complimenting women on their looks. introductory seminar Damien Diecke is holding in a bland function room in a nondescript Sydney hotel seems to have read The Game — all around me strangers are striking up conversations about the merits of “Mystery Method” and the Don’t unleash “Cocky and Funny” approach. I’ve chosen an e-barrage Whether it’s Twitter, Facebook, to sit in on Diecke’s seminar because he’s IM, texting or whatever else has Close your eyes and picture the one of Australia’s most high-profile PUA 4. been invented by the time this magazine hits the newsstand, ideal version of yourself. What does coaches, but there are plenty of other The eyes are the window to the When we get nervous our this person do? How does he nothing reeks of desperation soul and you want to demonstrate muscles contract, raising the behave? Who would be attracted seduction gurus around, be they locals more than getting in touch with you have nothing to hide. You’ll pitch and reducing the volume This is especially important in clubs to this person and why? When you or touring international superstars, the object of your desire several Smiling makes you look more feel anxious maintaining eye of our voices. If you speak like with loud music. Touching a woman approach women, behave like this times a day. Keep your tweets, attractive, honest, happy, intelligent contact for long periods, so start a scared little sparrow, women on the arm between her elbow and ideal version of yourself would. That hawking their wares to lonely men. messages, posts and texts brief, and friendly. Make smiling a habit, off by practising on your friends. will treat you like a scared little shoulder before talking is a sure-fire guy most likely isn’t insecure, can Diecke’s confident he’s positioned infrequent and intriguing if you want to avoid being blocked. even if you have to force yourself Focus on one eye — shifting your sparrow. Present yourself as way to make a connection and get cope with rejection if it comes and himself well in a growth market. “It’s to do it at first, and people will gaze from eye to eye makes you a proud man and women will her attention. Plus, we like people is man enough to get in there and gravitate towards you. look nervous. respond to you accordingly. more if they touch us. compete for the girl he wants. very small in Australia, most people haven’t heard of it. You’ve got 500 on

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“We were all searching the [PUA] forum in Brisbane, 2000 in PUA theory holds, probably somewhat for someone to teach us the moves what he’d learnt. “I started doing day Sydney and 5000 in Melbourne. We’re Sweater unmasked over-optimistically, that women want we needed to win at life, the knightly game [approaching women in public not at the point where the average man sex as much as men and only social code of conduct, the ways of the places during the day]. I’d see a woman thinks, ‘I need help with this stuff, I’ll go conditioning prevents them from alpha male. That’s why we eating lunch by herself and use a routine and get coaching.’ You go to the US and Alongside Neil Strauss, Australian confusing the Gold Coast with marrying a party girl. When behaving libidinously. It also posits there on them, like asking for their opinion business educator Peter Sun Brisbane,” Sun insisted. “I flew I got divorced from her in 2008 found each other.” almost everyone has heard of pick-up is nothing a man can do to trick on how I was dressed.” was one of the three students to LA to do the seminar after my I was 52. I had a relationship Neil StrauSS, and there are people making $20 million at Mystery’s first workshop. Sun second marriage broke down. with a 26-year-old for a year, a woman into sleeping with him; all he The Ga me Did they think he was a nut job? a year selling their products.” (referred to by his PUA nickname It wasn’t about trying to pick up then ended up partying with can do is present himself as an attractive “No, I discovered that most girls are ‘Sweater’ in The Game) is quoted lots of girls, it was about becoming a 23-year-old for a year. These There’s about 40 men in the room and by Strauss as saying, a few more confident. I did get results were beautiful girls — when you option and hope she chooses to do so. more than happy to talk to you if they’re if they’re embarrassed at the implicit months after attending that very quickly because it taught me use the techniques you become PUA gurus advise men to be scrupulously instrument, people will dive into this not busy and you’re not coming across workshop, “Life is just amazing. some important communication interesting to women because you acknowledgement of sexual failure Thanks to the [PUA] community, skills. My confidence went up and can communicate and you’re fun. honest (if only out of self-interest) with then realise it’s going to take a lot of work in a threatening way.” involved in turning up to this kind I have health, fun, money, love and that helped me find love and it The most common thing women women about whether they are after and lose interest; that’s human nature. Feeling in need of face-to-face tuition of event, they’re not showing it. The great people all around me.” GQ helped me in my business. Not say to me is, ‘We had the best casual sex or a relationship. It would And it can be a tough training ground — from an expert, he enrolled in one of tracked Sun down in Queensland long after doing the workshop I fell time with you.’ My daughter told crowd is representative of the broader to ask if Strauss’s account of in love with a woman who was very me that guys her age have no idea be disingenuous to pretend that there are practising scales to learn the piano Diecke’s courses. “He pushed me and population: there are white, black, Indian this happy state of affairs was attractive but it ended up being how to talk to girls and if they no PUAs — especially those who’ve doesn’t hurt your self-esteem the way taught me things I hadn’t thought of, like exaggerated. “The only thing Neil a messy relationship… I didn’t knew what I know it would make and Asian faces, guys in $2000 suits got wrong in that book was think about the consequences of talking to them more fun.” endured long stretches of sexual getting rejected does.” the importance of smiling when talking chatting to guys wearing reflective vests, frustration or who are recovering from That said, for the five per cent who to girls. I dropped doing routines and 18-year-olds sitting next to 50-year-olds. messy divorces — with mixed-up do have the tenacity to stay the course, focused on being genuine and gained a lot In terms of their looks (‘outer game’ in confusion about how to interact with but is too emotionally shut down to have attitudes to women. But in all the time the results can be impressive. Cristian is of momentum,” says Cristian. PUA lingo) and personality (‘inner game’), women, his partner pussywhipped him a healthy relationship). I spent with Diecke and his students one of Diecke’s star pupils. At school he With a cat-that-swallowed-the-canary once again it’s what you’d expect of any mercilessly. Shortly after starting The road to sexual success, Diecke I never heard misogynist attitudes being was “very overweight and always the smile, Cristian declines to divulge how random sample of Australian manhood PUA a degree in telecommunications counsels, involves us reclaiming our expressed. Rather than being resentful kid that wasn’t good with girls”. After many women he’s slept with but says, — some are plain and dull, some Lingo engineering, Diecke developed a severe masculinity without going overboard or contemptuous of women, PUAs seem slimming down he did get a girlfriend but “I’ve learnt that women want a man who handsome and charming, most 101 anxiety disorder, dropped out of uni and about it. Among other things this desperate to be validated by them. she dropped him after a year, leaving his is genuine and are quite responsive to somewhere in between. bunkered down in his bedroom for involves: setting clear boundaries Of course, no man is going to win the fragile confidence shattered. He first guys who are honest with their intentions. Upbeat music plays Managing months, reading up on (women can’t help but test boundaries approval of women, or other men for that discovered PUA theory on the internet At the moment my priority is to have fun, Expectations in the background as Making it clear to a woman psychology, religion and lose respect for any man who doesn’t matter, until he first respects himself. and began approaching girls to apply but if the right girl comes along… before you sleep with her whether Opener rambunctious male energy A question, statement or story and personal have strong ones); taking charge (the And this is where the PUA scene can “I’m very passionate about pick-up, you’re after a one-nighter or used to initiate a conversation. crackles around the room. something more. development. ladies love a leader) and having a clear be a powerful force for good. If there’s the men you become friends with, the (Pick-up artists typically spend At every table men are a great deal of time thinking up Eventually he found purpose in life (a man who’s passionate one article of faith espoused by everyone Where are the PUA women you meet, the stories you hear. and road-testing openers.) sharing information, debating the strength to do about his goals is sexy). in the PUA community it’s that a man’s superstars now? A lot of what you learn you can apply in seduction methods, trying to crack each Social Proof some bar and DJing Diecke encouragingly argues that ‘inner game’ will determine his success. real life. Going up and talking to a girl other up. I ask the guy sitting next to me The idea that work but, even in that women aren’t attracted to wealth and The PUA subculture emerged, and still involves facing your fear and that teaches women judge why he’s come along. “I’m 32 and I’ve a man based on environment, still “never got laid”. power as such, but rather those who tend remains strongest, in California, the you how to handle your fear in other never had a relationship with a woman, how other people Slowly rebuilding his confidence, he to become wealthy and powerful — men spiritual heartland of the personal- situations. For me, that’s what game is all are treating him. never even had one want to be friends Thus, if you’re enrolled in public speaking courses, with a strong commitment to their growth movement. Those who get about — setting goals, trying to improve with me,” he confesses unselfconsciously. surrounded by studied to be a trainer and got a diploma “personal mission”. Next come some involved in it are usually chasing self- yourself. Game taught me you have no women flirting with Diecke starts the presentation with you and men in life coaching. Five years ago he joined exercises where everyone has to write transformation as much as sex. They boundaries if you work hard. My life has his personal story. The standard spiel of treating you the pick-up community, voraciously down what their purpose in life is and want to become the respected, powerful improved ten-fold since I got involved.” deferentially, you’ll most PUA gurus runs something like this: be perceived as consuming books, videos, CDs and online what their boundaries are. and, yes, desirable man of their dreams. “I was a pasty, Dungeons & Dragons- more attractive posts on the art of seduction but never Wrapping things up, Diecke segues It could be argued that the pick-up playing nerd who couldn’t get a woman than if you’re studying under a PUA guru himself. into his sales pitch. For $2995 we can subculture is, well, picking up where the Ross Jeffries, 53. Neil Strauss Eric von Markovik standing in a Jeffries’ claim to be the (Sty l e), 37. (Mystery), 39. to piss on me even on those occasions corner by yourself. Two years ago, after being made do the nine-week ‘Masculine Confidence short-lived men’s movement of the ’90s “Godfather of Seduction” While Strauss likes to talk After The Game made If there’s a major criticism that can be when the excessive friction generated by redundant from his job as a trainer at Intensive’ course, involving three theory left off — encouraging men to think remains uncontested up his nerdiness, even him a star, Mystery wrote made of the pick-up industry it’s this: it but he’s alienated many before The Game was his own books, The my constant masturbation resulted in me Aussie Home Loans when the GFC sessions and nine field trips. deeply about what it means to be a man in the PUA community published he’d co-written Mystery Method: How to doesn’t teach men what to do after bursting into flames. At 25, despairing hit, he set up his business, in a post-feminist world and what they by disparaging and, on biographies with the very Get Beautiful Women they’ve picked up. For, believe it or not, Negging occasion, suing the ungeeky likes of Marilyn Into Bed and The Pickup of ever losing my virginity, I stumbled A comment that falls somewhere School of Attraction. want out of life. “The community is what most PUAs yearn for is not to live younger generation of PUA Manson, Dave Navarro Artist: The New and between a backhanded compliment and across something about pick-up while After the bio comes PUA heading away from that sex-crazed, coaches, many of whom and porn star Jenna Improved Art of out their most debauched fantasies but an outright insult, delivered to a woman you’re searching for porn on the internet. interested in to make her think you’re not Theory 101. Diecke argues ick-up might have gone game-playing, manipulative place it are his former students. Jameson. He continues to Seduction. Inevitably, he to have a serious relationship. The happy Having embraced the PUA mindset, interested in her, which, theoretically, that feminism, while mainstream in the past five started. It’s heading towards working He was reportedly the have a successful career ended up with his own ending of Strauss’s book involves him will make her interested in you. inspiration for Tom as a journalist and author. reality TV show, The my life is now a constant round of necessary and largely years, but it is still a long out what men are supposed to be. The Cruise’s PUA guru The woman he fell in love Pickup Artist, which ran settling down with a woman who’s threesomes with Swedish backpackers, praiseworthy, has had some way off being respectable. guys in the industry that are doing well character Frank TJ with at the end of The for two seasons and impervious to any of his PUA wizardry. Mackey in the film Game, rock guitarist Lisa featured him training hook-ups in nightclub bathrooms with unfortunate consequences, chief among Understandably, there’s a widespread are the guys covering this stuff about Magnolia, and at one of Leveridge, broke up with socially inept men in the Diecke, who slept with about 200 adult-industry actresses and admiring them men believing they have to perception pick-up is about sleazy men being a man,” argues Diecke. his seminars Jeffries him in 2006, reportedly to art of pick-up and women in his PUA heyday, has been in re-enacted Cruise’s start a relationship with crowning the winner glances from lesser men.” Shit Test suppress their masculinity. The manipulating women into putting out. Which brings us back to the original “Respect the cock” Robbie Williams. Shortly ‘Master Pick-up Artist’. a monogamous relationship for the past Diecke, 27, deviates from this script An aggressive brush-off theory of sexual polarity that he After spending a lot of time with PUAs, question: can PUA gurus deliver what monologue word for after that, Strauss set up Though he’s struck up two years. He notes, “85 per cent of my from a woman, such as, word, complete with the the online seduction a close friendship with slightly. Yes he was a nerd (he’s got “I’m a lesbian.” This is not subscribes to states that women I came to believe the reality, paradoxical they charge so handsomely for? students tell me that, yes, they wouldn’t soundtrack from the school Stylelife Academy. David Copperfield, necessarily a rejection but embarrassing pictures in his PowerPoint are attracted to masculine men, as it seems, is that, firstly, pick-up gurus movie playing in the He’s now in a relationship Mystery’s career as a mind getting laid in the process but what rather a test that you fail presentation to prove it) but he did have by taking at face value just as men are attracted to encourage men to be more, not less, background. He with swimsuit designer magician has never really they’d really like is to find a really a girlfriend at high school. Regularly and pass by responding feminine women. Many men now respectful of women and, secondly, the continues to conduct Ingrid De La O and taken off. But his pick-up amazing woman. But, statistically, it’s cleverly to. workshops around the recently wrote about his guru day job sees him unleashing a high-voltage grin, Diecke opt to either be the feminised ‘nice vast majority of men who get involved Diecke himself admits 95 per cent of world and market his yearning to get married travelling the world very unlikely that they’re going to find soon makes it clear that this was actually guy’ (who women like but aren’t in the pick-up scene are actually seeking aspiring pick-up artists won’t stick with it Speed Seduction books, and have a child because running bootcamps. her unless they have the ability to meet CDs, DVDs and memory- “that’s the reason we’re He’s due in Sydney worse than having no girlfriend at all. aroused by) or the cartoonishly something much more profound than the long enough to see life-changing results. jogging flashcards. all here”. in September. and talk to lots of women.” Exploiting his low self-esteem and masculine ‘bastard’ (who gets sex ability to chat up chicks in clubs. “Just like learning a martial art or musical for more Great articles Go to Gq.com.aU

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