Office of Student Affairs
2005-04-01
A Modest Proposal, vol. 1, no. 4
Geoff Barry, et al.
© 2005 A Modest Proposal
Find more information about this article here. This document has been made available for free and open access by the Eugene McDermott Library. Contact [email protected] for further information. lllustrat1011 by Luke McKelllJ! repnnted wrth perT'fliSSIO(I from The liTO MeiCUry
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A Mon:r.sr 1'1\0POSAL Aprtl2005 'C: 3 CovER STORY -. 4 Incensed by nonsense in censorship by Bobby Janecka the wonderful progress Coleman is mak But would this have really hurt the pro review by the faculty," Eggspuehler said. ing in instituting a new University policy posal for mid-term grades? Said Coleman, They appeal only to the prudence of the [email protected] of mid-term grades for all students. Egg "'t's been my experience that when you paper's editors, hoping that they would re In a recent issue of 7ht UTD Mn-cu spuehler and 7he Mn-rory learned of the have a new initiative and you go public consider how vital certain information is if ry a seemingly innocuous pair of articles proposal at an SGA meeting, where Cole with it before you have it well organized ... it is in part harmful to the university. slipped under the radar of most readers. man was presenting it in hopes for an en then people's opinions can galvanize about Admittedly, this highlights two exam Two pieces by editor Chad Eggspuehler dorsement of student support. it and it makes it harder to discuss." ples ofMerrury judgment over the span of painted a picture of UTD both hopeful Eggspuehler smelled a big news story Eggspuehler, for his part, hoped that two years. In the Jenifer example, we find and grim, but there's an unspoken truth to and rushed to gather facts on the proposaL such policies would be able to stand on 7he Mmury deferring to the benefit of the them that underscores a much more im When he consulted Coleman, however, he their own merit, but it's a difficult ques university over a policy of free informa portant debate in the role of a newspaper, received the warning that publishing the tion to be sure. tion. The example with Coleman, on the any newspaper, and may offer insight into story would, "place our missions at risk. Later in his column, Eggspuehler men other hand, shows 1hr Mmury choosing a trend of the changing role of The Mer Issues will not reach the Committee for tions an incident regarding donors, Presi unlimited access to information to the cury. Educational Policy (CEP) until March dent Franklyn Jenifer and "a telephone detriment of the university, which in this In Eggspuehler's February 28th col and the Senate until April. You do us no call from a dean." Walter Voit, former case, thanks to a very able administrator, umn, "Mercury rising over silence," he service by placing it before the public eye Managing Editor at the Mercury, actually was not as problematic as it could have tackles one of the formidable hurdles to months before we're prepared to discuss it remembers the incident firsthand and he been. the newspaper's publication: censorship, with faculty,uColeman said. remembers it slighdy difterendy. Outcomes aside, it shows that 1hr Mn- or at the very least, reluctance of some When Eggspuehler protested that the "It wasn't really censorship, the call rory, a publication whose content is always administrators to provide information for SGA meeting was fully public and The came down to me and 1 decided not to put shaped by the judgment and hubris of its fear of being mis-quoted or burned for Mercury had every right to print the story, it in the article," Voit said. editors, is one that, for the moment at their words. Coleman conceded: "Premature public As per his account, Jenifer mentioned least, prints first and asks questions later. As a former Mercury contributor, I exposure fo rces us to battle strong wind a specific company as an example of an Bur this isn't necessarily a bad thing, no know firsthand how dead-on Eggspuehler we could have easily dismissed with frank annual university donor requesting to be one but the players politically involved is on calling out the bull-headed admin discussion. Having said that, you're abso forgiven its pledged donations until the ever complained about free information in istrators of UTD. With a publication as lutely correct that we've discussed these fallen market could tum around. Though the media. credible as 1he Mn-mry, it's insulting to the issues in a public forum leaving the pub this was indeed on public record, Voit was It begs a deeper question: just what is University that some administrators are lic record for anyone's review and open to informed that releasing the donor's name the role of a publication? As a very direct still so uncooperative. That said, I suspect free discussion. Ifyou and the staff choose in as public a forum as 1he Mmury could beneficiary of UTD's success, does The that Eggspuehler's claim of censorship at to write on this topic, than I am duty seriously damage university relations with Mn-cury have a vested interest and bias fa our University is a bit exaggerated; I can bound and happy to help you so we will the donor. Voit consulted the staff and voring the university? only offer the facts to let you make the now change gears." ultimately deemed that detail unneces From the way things look now, decid judgment call. These are hardly the words of a censor. sary: "it contributed nothing to the article; edly not. But in our present media-driven It's very likely, though unconfirmed of As it tu.rns out the incident of ce nsorship nothing to the issue, and it could have hurt world, questions of media bias, profes ficially, that Eggspuehler's column was in that Eggspuehler may have been com the university so I decided to leave it out," sional interest, and selective dissemination part inspired by an incident with Dean plaining about was really only an example said Voit. of information are raised everywhere. We of Undergraduate Education J. Michael of an administrator pleading for consid Admittedly, these examples could be must ask ourselves whether all informa Coleman and an article in the same is eration by 7he Mn-cury for a potentially considered censorship but only as an ap tion is really worth knowing, but more sue, "Mid-term grade proposal passes first sensitive proposal and subsequent rush to peal to common sense. um administra importandy, we must ask how we are to round of tests." pass said proposal in anticipation of a me tors have no formal power of censure; in regard the organizations that take it upon In the article, Eggspuehler reports on dia splash. fact, "at our university, we don't have prior themselves to deliver it.
Letter to the Editor ligious belief, which continues to seems to me that the anti-reli Religious people don't want It would seem that Bree be a source of irritation to many gious voices are the loudest and to be told they are wrong, nor do Si.ostek may have stumbled upon Dear Editor, at UTD, especially those on the the most grating on this campus they want to be accused of being some ovenealous religious fanat I wish to commend you on north side of the campus. (once again, on the north side of mindless puppets who ignorandy ics, which is indeed unfortunate, the publication of If M odest Pro Now the criticism: As a the campus). embrace a morality forced on because it really is the religious posal. As a staunch supporter of Christian, 1 always like to take What is needed, perhaps, them in childhood. belief system itself that has value, the Hrst Amendment to the the opportunity to respond to is a bit of mutual respect. After Many of us "religious rypes" even if the messenger makes a U.S. Constitution, I am always the criticism C hristians receive all, those who are "left of center" have studied our own, as well as mess of it in the telling. encouraged to hear voices being on this campus, often unfairly. have a pretty strong voice on this other religious belief systems, lifted in the name of free speech. I'm not sure where these *Bible campus, not to mention a great and have found -- quire purpose Eileen Baland I am also happy to see that pushers" are at UTD. deal ofsupport by the faculty and fully -- the common threads that Ph.D. Student one of your articles discussed I haven't seen them, and I am administration. I think the pen link us, rather than focusing on Arts&. Humanities the much-maligned topk of re- not one of them. ln fact, it often dulum swings in both directions. the differences that separate us. 4
IT's ALL
T8 ML
by Eric Kildebeck [email protected]
Nerds vs. Greeks: the unfortunate nature of bias and arrogance in social cliques Harking back to long before such classic adults in leggings sipping tea engaged in people that I didn't like. I had never ac to perceive Greek life as negative and had cinematic works as Revenge of the Nerds a thrilling conversation. That aside, let's tually done any of these things, but I felt serious biases towards it. In my mind I and PCU, the tension that exists between look at the creation of my own bias and confident that they were associated with a justified this by focusing on specific events stereotypical nerds and fraternity brothers the uniquely invigorating process of dis certain type of person. During the course and people that I didn't like and think has been palpable on college campuses. covering my own arrogance. of my undergraduate experience, however, ing that there was a fundamental differ D uring my time at UTD, however, I have During high school, my twin brother I did finally throw some parties and had ence between me and them. While I could begun to understand that generally, this and his friends could only be described as an awesome time hanging out and drink have maintained this perception for quite tension stems much more from bias and my opposite in every possible way. I'm not ing with my friends. After experiencing a some time, I was forced to look at the ac arrogance on both sides than any funda sure what it was exactly, but the repeated few of these parties and even trying out a tual type of people in Greek organizations mental difference between people. threats of bodily harm and visions of peo more casual short-term relationship with when some of my best friends became ac I for one would be accurately described ple throwing up on themselves in bathtubs a girl then I'd ever had before, I started to tive in Greek life. as a nerd, to the point that my girlfriend did not make me fond of any of them. realize that some of these things could ac When some of the most impressive, once got me a t-shirt that read: "Cauca Coming to college, I clearly associated tually be fun. sia knows how to party" and depicted two partying and casual relationships with Despite this realization, I continued see SOCIAL BIAS p. 5 A MoDEST PRpPOSAL Aprtl2005 by Neha Chlnal reality. While tension exists within every more serious ones. Some people, both in [email protected] SOCIAL BIAS social group, I believe the heightened and out of Greek life, are active in athlet continued from p. 4 tension between stereotypical nerds and ics and care a lot about academics. When I was younger, I believed in two Greeks actually comes from the arrogance In fact, the polarity that now exists different categories of people: those who generous and fun people you know be each side has about their preferences and between these social groups has created did their math homework and ate banan gin participating in something like Greek the resulting elitism on both sides. one of the most significant problems on as at their desk during recess, and those life, it becomes much more difficult to If we actually tried to consider each college campuses: extremism. Instead of who whispered to each other all through keep disliking it so much. Harder still was other simply as people with different spending some time partying, playing class only to get thrown out and played having to admit that I knew my friends preferences who are all simply trying to video games, and going to the activities boys catching girls during recess. That was wouldn't be having so much fun going have fun then we would be more reason center, students spend six hours a day in when I was twelve. Now that I'm nineteen, Greek if they were only surrounded by able about accepting each other. front of a computer or drink four night the world is not quite that simple. Thank chauvinistic assholes. It is clear that those who spend in a week. God for that, or else I would still be on a The amazing thing, which I'm not ordinate amounts of time playing video 1 for one still spend about ten times as banana diet. proud of, is how long I was able to con games do not wake up saying, "Hmmm, much time playing video games as I do I for one have grown up and so now I tinue viewing Greek life irrationally. 1 would be happy today if I could expe partying. The amount of time a friend of do both: math homework as well as catch During this time I got to go through the rience some invigorating hatred towards mine and I have recently spent on Grand boys. Unfortunately there are still some surprisingly painful process of looking at those who enjoy athletic activity." Simi Theft Auto: San Andreas is a ringing ex people who believe in the high school ste reality: I've had some friends in fraterni larly, those who spend their time partying ample of how extremism in any of these reotypes. It's rather pathetic really, these ties ever since 1 carne to UTD and I can do not think, "You know, this party would activities can be deleterious to a happy poor souls still clinging onto their old think of people I like and dislike in every be a lot more fun if we could go make life. Obviously, getting drunk all of the classifications for dear life. Greek Life be social group. While there are certainly some other people feel bad about them time or spending obscene amounts of comes a prime target for these individu assholes who try to get girls drunk and selves." Obviously we've all had both of time studying have severely negative ef als who just don't seem to understand that take advantage of them, the arrogance these thoughts at some point or another, fects on people's lives as well. partying and having a life do not equal a of intellectual elitists on the other side but we're not usually motivated by them. In reality, almost everyone I know bad p,erson. makes them treat girls like crap as well. The main point is that we should all likes all of these things to some extent. I laughed my head off when I read an Any rational person would simply ad reconsider the belief that there is a funda The differences between us and our social article on how events like "Underage Beer mit that all social groups are made up of mental dilference between these groups settings are not caused by a fundamental Bash 2005" and "Drunken G roping Tues some nice and some mean people, all of of people. ~me people, both in and out difference between types of people, but day" are "staples of (a) fraternity's sched whom are trying to enjoy life. Discover of Greek life, prefer spending more time by differences in preference that should ule" (UTD Mercury, M arch 21, 2005 ing this showed me simply that my con playing video games with their friends not be the cause of tension. Simply put, issue). It is PRECISELY for theif beer tinued bias towards Greek life was much than partying with their friends. Some a nice frat guy has a lot more in com pong skills and promiscuous sex lives that more a result of my own arrogance about people, both in and out of Greek life, pre mon with a nice geek than he does with a 25 fraternity members became Presidents my preferences than it was a reflection of fer more casual romantic relationships to chauvinistic womanizer. of the United States of America. So I'll be honest - do Greeks have their members. Perhaps they should apologize it is a newspaper, an honors vices? Of course they do - just about as for having a good time while they make society, a lobby group or much as the members of any other or their way through the arduous journey a discussion club, though ganization, including the Disappearing that is college. Perhaps they should also the selection may be im Languages Club or the Abacus Revival apologize for their choice of lifestyle, be plied or direct. Sorry to be ist Guild. Is debauchery the only face of cause God forbid a college student actual the dasher of dreams, but ev- Greek Life? I think not. ly goes to a party on Friday night and then eryone is not welcome everywhere. Such is According to research conducted by participates the next day in a bake sale to life, so let's get on with it. Valdosta State University, raise money for cancer patients! So, what I am saying is that everyone Greek fraternities and so Arguments about the exclusive nature CAN'T be Greek, just like everyone can't rorities have maintained a of Greek life have often been made as an be in the Dallas Symphony O rchestra, higher grade point average attack against the establishment. It is a lu the Textile Merchants Association or the than the undergradu dicrous argument, because if one applied Free Masons. The reason is simple: it's ate average at most it to every facet of life then the H onors either because they don't want to or are universities and society should accept all those who apply not skilled enough to be a part of these Greeks and the Pre-Law society should include organizations. have a puppeteers. Organizations exist because Greek life is a great catalyst for stu higher groups of people with similar interests dent life. Instead of constantly criticizing gradu and goals decide to get together and ac Greek life., perhaps we at UTD should Until then, any ation rate complish these goals. Selection of mem reevaluate its merits in order to expand one for some beer than non- bers exists in every organization, whether student life on campus. pong and/or an orgy? APRIL 1, 2005 the Celebrating April Fools Vol. I, No. 1 UT Daniel completes seventh Waterview fines itself for burning of twelve presidential trials Retrieval of golden apples, capture of by Furst Worthing Cerberus still ahead [email protected] RICHARDSO N , TX (AP) - Dr. D avid Daniel, When a fire began to burn on a newly selected president qf the University ofTexas Waterview porch this past week at Dallas, has completed seven of the dreaded 12 end, fear and panic began to sweep Presidential Trials that any new president must through the minds of the young ten undergo before being deemed truly worthy by the ants. When Waterview caught wind Council of Regents that sits in glory within the of the smoke, money signs began to Capitol building in Austin. cha-ching. Daniel, who in his righteous strength has killed D ouble checking the lease agree both the Hydra and the Lion of Nemea, captured ment, one employee saw a chance for lhe Cerynitis and the boar of Arcadia, cleaned the a big fine. Augean stables in a day, shot down the ravenous "I just imagined charging them birds of Lake Stymphalus, and defeated the Mad fifty dollars for each individual bull of Crete, must still shoulder on through .five flame," she claimed triumphantly. "I more tasks before he can accept the mighty respon knew this would get me a promotion sibility of being in charge of one of the most re to the 11:00 shift." where it explicitly stated that only one from Waterview halted us," one spected public universities in Texas. The fire department rushed to the proper outdoor furniture, plants, and fire-fighter reported. "They literally "People asked us what kind of man we wanted scene only to be given a rush them bicycles could be kept on the apart pulled the plug on us. It wasn't un for this job. I will tell you. I want the kind of man selves. ment balcony. til the other command-truck hosed who, when encountered with a lion whose flesh A UTD police car followed close Water, clearly not falling into one some sense into the employee that deflects arrows, fights it hand to hand, strangles it, behind, not as an escort, but because of those categories, was obviously a we were allowed to spray down the and wears its pelt as body armor. I want a man who the fire truck was going over 15 mph violation. balcony." smashes together twO giant bronze plates made by down Drive H. Lack of a parking In a bold move, the fire depart Eventually the fire was put out Hephaestus to scare birds out of their hiding place permit also resulted in a fine. ment defied the explicit commands and all life was saved. and then kills all of them 'with poison-tipped ar The trucks raced to the building of the Waterview administration So, just remember kids, ifa fire be rows. I would not trust the future of our student and were unloading the hose to save when it put the view of water into gins to burn, one fine is one too many. body to anyone less th an this," said H obson Wil the building when they were stopped and onto the apartment. So sit back, roast some marshmallows denthal, provost of the university and avid watcher in their tracks. "The fire was starting to get out of and enjoy the moment. Oh, and if of "Xena: Warrior Princess". The Waterview employee ran to control and the group was about to you get a chance, turn in a mainte Danid rlin into trouble when he momentarily the fire waving the highlighted lease hose down the balcony when some- nance request form. offended the gods by wounding a sacred animal on the slopes of M ount Cerynaea in his quest. H e was also fined SSO by campus police for wielding a crossbow without a license and for leaving the bead Satan, UTD work together on parking policies of the Hydra on the pon:b of his W aterview apart Dark Prince "excellent an unnamed staff member, now only to class. ment, which was a clear violation of his lease. known by the brand of"666" across his Satan was also tickled with the The esteemed doctor is no alien to these types of team player;' says staff forehead. miniscule extra parking lot in Phase 8 tests; to become Dean of Engineering at his previ "That's when we decided to call in which magically turns logical human ous university, Danid was forced to answer the rid H ELL (AP) - Satan, the manifesta Satan to help us reach that final pin beings into total assholes over a space dle of the Sphinx, who had been terrorizing Indiana tion of pure evil in the universe, and nacle of irritation," he said. of cement. for quite some time. By answering the question cor the University ofTexas at Dallas have Satan heartily approved of the dif However, new policies were also rectly, the Sphinx ran directly into Lake Michigan, come to a rough agreement on a meth ference of approximately 10 yards be recommended. Satan suggested the flooding C hicago. od through which to inflict the great tween gold and green parking in the fine of one's eternal soul for backing If he completes all the ·tasks; Daniel will earn est amount of torture and suffering on H oblitzelle parking lot with a price dif into a parking space or breathing. the tide of UTD president, the eternal favor of the unknowing students. ference of $50. He also was extremely Lucifer said he was "pleased with gods, and a •sub Club" card from Subway with most "While we felt we were already an pleased with the extreme competition this new dark alliance," and that he was of the holes already punched out, allowing Danid noying the Be-Jesus out of students for parking spots in Phase 3 with ac eagerly awaiting a partnership with the to e2rn a free sandwich with fewer purchases than searching for a decent parking place, tual residents and students from other Waterview Leasing Office, whose evil most mortal men. there was still something missing," said phases attempting to park there to walk plots often matched his own. tlH 8 Aprtl2005 UT[ English- peaking Math professor hired Yep that's it guys. That IS the news. Not a whole lot more to say, here. Eng lish. I repeat. E-N-G-L-1-S-H. What, are you still reading? What more do you want to know. This is news damn it. What, oh about the fact that he learned English second hand at a private school in Mumbai. Whoop dee freakin doo. Yeah so what, he can communicate. Communication is what we are writ ing about here. What, oh you want to know about the 36 students in his aver age class who don't speak English. Who cares? We pay these guys to tum coffee erection problems this past year and are Mercury to seek a role as the news arm pots into theorems and publish it, do using the ZBT experience to build on. of A M odest Proposal. you read me, PUBLISH in ENGLISH, An Alpha Phi Omega spokesman said Previous efforts in this endeavor all not to teach classes. What kind of na'ive he hopes to have a fully functional erec failed as AMP didn't exist yet. world do you live in buddy? tion process in place by the beginning of "I finally wanted to be part of a paper June and be ready to "go at it~by the end that was worth censoring, • said Mercury ZBT frat bouse erected of the summer. editor Bo Thai, adding that he was get Members of Zeta Beta Tau (ZBT) ting fed up with stale news from UTD sat and giggled for 12 hours at the erec UfSW rethinks partnership with UTO press releases. tion ceremony. ~From cupid's dream to Citing the difficulty in working with "For years we have harbored the de this enormous erection we have had a schools with three letter acronyms, UT lusion that people actually care about very successful year, • erections chair Southwestern (UTSW) dropped all these things that come out of the Office Dick Jonsson said. collaborative efforts with UTD and UT of New Information,• he said. "We'd like to thank all of the ladies Arlington (UTA) this past week. The Mercury Managing Editor from Kappa Alpha Theta who were in "The royalties were getting ridicu agreed. "I am tired of journalistic in stnamental in this erection and for their lous," said one UTSW spokesman. tegrity and AP style. I have long long superb hands-on role in the team ef "Jesus Christ, ever since God patented ingly longed for the day when 1 could fort," another member said. "We have the holy trinity, you have to pay out the freely use '-ly' words and write with an really come together on this one." wazoo for three letter names or acro interesting not-so-formulaic style," she Other fraternities have had large nyms, and frankly it just wasn't worth said. MA Modest Proposal gives me this it anymore," he said, commenting that chance." UTSW would begin work with Rice, AMP was lukewarm with the deci pending the outcome of their legal sion, but figured a bit of real news once battles with the continent of Asia over in a while couldn't hurt. The AMP staff name rights, or with Texas A&M Uni was also disheartened when the realized versity (TAMU). they would have to find a new target to A high UTD official, James Moses, pick on. said UTD has spoken with The Uni versity of Dallas (UD) about a potential Final Four of Chess Rescheduled name swap to alleviate this three-letter Stanford, MIT and UMCB showed problem. "God doesn't charge Catholics up at UTD on April 1 to take on what the 'Power of Three' royalty anyway, • he they thought would be a formidable said. "This money is already taken out UTD chess team in the annual F'mal as a fraction of 1 percent of tithes given Four of Chess. Kim Jong II II has accepted an invitatior each year at mass." "APREL FOOLS!• Tim Microsoft UTD's 18 separate graduation ceremoniel However, Moses said the deal was said as he did the chicken dance in not yet set in stone (God only did that front of a confused group of students would boost his popularity at home and pa once and look what happened), but that and their personal translators. visas to come to the United States and lea in the meantime, UD would put in a After about four seconds, the chess UTD Zeta Beta Tau members good word for UTD to the big guy. wizards all began to scowl. "This Aexibility to change dates of Campus celebrate during the erection Due to unforeseen circumstances, times at our whims is really convenient In a lx ceremony of their new on cam Mercury b«omes news arm of AMP UTD was forced to push the event back for us," said Andy Stevenson. "That way Aramark Difficulty with humor and origi one week and had failed to notify any we don't have to plan ahead and can just ing hour pus fraternity house. nal opinions and the apparent lack of one. Similar policies are in place across take things as they come, baby. H akuna lized emf readership on campus has led the um the school M atata." ~we; ~~_u_s______~------~."~.2oo.s...... 9 final game of Computer Science Crick et (CSC). Little India and Little Rest of Asia made it to finals to be held Aprilt-2 and must face off in this new game of esc invented by the Office of International Education. The objective of the game is to stay at bat as long as possible, so the rest of your team can furiously program on the sidelines and attempt to solve as many problems out of an unlimited set as pos sible. The caveat is that each player who touches a computer must go up to bat at some point during the two-day event. UTD adopts rabbit as new mascot After an extensive search to replace Acronyms take over the world UTD's flaming sperm mascot, the Stu In a closed door meeting (CDM) dent Government Association (SGA) last week (LW) the Associated Press voted unanimously 4-0 in their March (AP) released its official line on (OLO) meeting to pick a new mascot. The SGA the printing and usage of acronyms in senlcd on •Tibbar" the rabbit after a syndicated and non-syndicated publica heated debate spurred other names such tions (PAUASNSP). as "Repmuht;"Yppolf," and "DTU." So lately (SL), with passage of the ·we just though it was corny having PAUASNSP, the AP has delivered a a mascot spelling the name of the object blow (DAB) to independent publica backwards," one of the voting members "Tibbar" the rabbit becomes tions (IPs) across the United States of said. ·so instead we spelled an animal America (ATUSoA). backward." new official UTD mascot after a IPs were previousJy allowed (WPA) unanimous decision by the Stu to create acronyms as they saw fit Stew of pet-nappings reported dent Government Association. (TSW), but in response to these new In a wake of reports of recent pet rules (NRs), IPs must now meticulously nappings in across campus, UTD of variety of South American tree frog, manage minute nuances (NMMMN) ficials are beginning to question ex but none of the 109 questioned could and must make huge sacrifices (MMHS) actly what is going into the sushi at the identifY it as a country, much less one when editing articles. To the detriment Comet Caf~. in central-central Asia bordering China, of (TTOO) the originality and flair of "Comet Caf~ sushi staff, you just UU>ekistan, Kazakhstan and Tajikistan the journalistic process (OTJP), and in thought that was fish," a police chief surrounding the Naryn, Talas and Syr order to (AIOT) achieve consistency, said after a month-long investigation Darya Rivers. the PAUASNSP ruling really is detri that began with the disappearance of SPEWK is currently accepting do mental to the free press (TFP). IPs who Fufu, the pet hamster and mascot of nations to take out a full-page ad in the won't take freedom (WTF) of speech Homage. Since this first vanishing, 13 Mercury with a large geo-political map seriously and fight these NRs should other pets have been reported as lost or of central-central Asia. really rethink their mission and those missing. The connection was made after things they take for granted (FG). a Korean student noticed that his sushi UTD celebrates International Week IPs WTF OTJP FG AIOT NM had tasted too much like home and in 'little' pieces MMN, IPs MMHS TTDO TFP wondered whose dog he was eating. International Week featured flowers, ATUSoA. flair, and foreign fun as UTD was flood tss to deliver the keynote addresses during Revolution in Bishkek hits close to ed with wholly un-American culrure rean dictator and maniac said he hoped this home for UTD students and entertainment March 28 -April 1. "Where the hell is that?" asked The centerpiece of the week was the s country's finest scholars to obtain student graduate historical studies major John creation of international ghettos: Linle rlUclear weapons. Smith, adding •for the hundredth time" India, Linle Pakistan, Linle China, Lit that Pocahontas was not his long lost tle Singapore, Linle Korea, and Linle ours. 12:23 each afternoon," one worker said. great-great grandmother. Rest of Asia. or tensions, •1 have to actually stay behind the cash In a survey conducted by AMP and The linle groups of foreign students oackwork- register during this span to handle all paid for by the Society for the Prolifera then all faced off in a week of intense 1 over-uti six students that buy lunch after their tion of the Exact Whereabouts of Kyr competition that included a Martha t Caf~. class. I just can't g o that long without a gyzstan (SPEWK), 3 students correctly Stewart Bake-off, a giant game of tug is a oviet 1 12:19 to smoke break." identified that Kyrgyzstan was not a o-war, an English spelling bee and a the republic in central-central Asia. 10 Aprll2005 OriLJUranus # APRIL FooLs Daniel excited at his own prospects Hate poor people? exceptionally rare ... as the beneficiary of Dislike public by Eli P. Seas an economic ... agreement, whose signato ... @studenr.utdallas.cdu ries include Texas Instruments, the State schools and roads? ofTexas and the U. T. System, ... of up to The Uranus' lone stafftape recorder was S300 million in public and private funds. Become a a bitfinicky during the voice-O'IJer of the UTD would die for ... unambiguous ... Ftb. 13 Dallas Morning News Editorial, fundamentals, right? They include: proven Libertarian! so we only caught words here and there. We ability... the presence of a world-class ... sincerely hope a meaningful impression can one, and the potential to partner. For more information c:ootliiCtjusdo be gleaned about ourfuture president, Dr. President David Daniel None of this is going to be Appleby at [email protected] David Daniel, who is a remarkable follow and having the resources to do so, ... sim easy.. . for. . . the effort .. . is go and has a great vision for the university and ply not... to succeed. ing to take a great deal of people. North Dallas. And I "quote:" Many have ... different needs. Not all So... I ... assume the presidency... of. .. the can or should be ... intensive. Others lack world. Tired of seeing your North Texas has a ... jewel. I'm talking the ... mass ... necessary to catapult them To get the full scoop, see The U1D Mer way oflife destroyed about ... I am convinced ... me. .. .Aspire selves. Others are ... challenged, estranged cury archives at http://www.utdmercury. to ... move ... or... within ... reality... have or... hopeful. com/news/2005/02/14/0pinion/Dan by moral-less no chance. Fortunately for residents of the Dal iel. Charting. U tds.Path.To. Greatness- There are two reasons ... that are le las region ... I am ... nationally recog 862632.shtrnl. INFIDELS? gitimately... rank. While... making ... nized ... in such areas as ... brain ... arts The Uranus would like to point out aht moves ... one mark of... greatness ... is ... and technology ... to say nothing of being our brothers at The Mercury can afford Fed up with peaceful insistence on continually getting better - ... phenomenally high-quality ... and ... working telephones and tape recorders. interpretation of "mainstream" Sperm theory blown out of the water clerics? • Lean has set the record straight. "These Whales, Pakemupan Moovemout. "To Join the Muslim SWEET dissovles, specimens are clearly short-finned pilot think this cheating problem extends to JIHAD! whales," she said. "The short sickle-shaped our 'lesser' schools is simply shocking," flippers and white patches on their chins Moovemout said. For more information contllct Justin hatred of sperm that extend dorsally to the anus are dis A dissolved SWEET was another con Applebyat ~dallu.eclu tinctive of these animals and would never sequence of this large dupe. spreads, Mercury's be found in sperm whales." Temoc, who was recently fired and re UTD students were indignant. placed by "Tibbar" the rabbit was disap Wannabe a radio Dick discredited "We have all been Dicked," said sopho pointed in his fellow SWEET member. more geoscience major Pompous Pilate. "This has given a bad name to lovers of UTDDJ? by Poor Piss "FalsifYing a report of this magnitude was sperm across campus,"Temoc said adding Few more laform.doa coabd]wstiD a whale of a mistake." that Ologist "tarnished my reputation to Appleby at~·· ...... edu [email protected] Dick's dubious source of information, the point where some backwards-cock freshman geoscience major Archy Ologist neyed flaming rabbit can take my flaming In yet another instance showing a com had been looking to promote his organiza job." '• plete and utter lack ofjour nalistic integrity, tion, the only UTD activist group-Sperm The Mercury and their elusive Dick were Struggling with .~ The U1D Mercury and staff writer M oby Whale Environmental Extinction Team unavailable for comment at Uranus press Dick rushed to print March 21 with a (SWEET) and fabricated identifying in time when this new information came to incontinence or story entitled, "Sperm whales unearthed formation to dupe the press into believ light. Tourettes Syndrome? in SU mall, Finocchio found,"without the ing these pilot whales were really sperm Gepetto and Pinnochio each also de true facts. whales, Lean said. clined to comment as they had been Mter further inquiry into the mat Ologist has since been publicly tarred whisked away to Washington D.C. after ter, The Uranus found that the whales ly and feathered and has become a social sci the Amber Threat Alert was called. ing underneath the SU Mall were in fact ence major. For incomplete information that led SHIT! NOT sperm whales, but rather short "I thought the only cheaters on cam to this scandal, see http://www.theutd finned pilot whales, or Glopicephala mac pus were in the Erik Jonsson school of mercury.com/ news/2005/03/21/Feature/ For more information contactJuttin rorhynchus. Engineering and Computer Science," said Sperm. Whales. Unearthed. ln. Su.Mall.Pi A;plelry at app~ecla Resident whale expert, UTD's own Bay Associate Dean for Dealing with Buried nocchio.Found.april.Fools-897949.shtml A MoDEST ~oPoS.AL Aprll2005 Dominick Simpligan, our valiant protagonist and student at UTD, has frantic and held a meeting to discuss what should be thrown from the craft. Reaching had quite an adventure since becoming lostjn the Gulfof Mexico months ago. a decision, they consulted me, the passenger, and (before I could answer) continued the Following a stay on the strange island ofMajorita, he set off in a crude raft and meeting. became stranded in still seas. Facing certain death by dehydration, he is saved In the Noolab's basket, I should add, they had stored a few very formidable pieces of quite unexpectedly by the arrival ofa hot air balloon where we join him now. computing equipment and a large stack of books and portfolios. There was room enough for the four of us in the large basket, but all of the combined weight was too much to bear. As I sat on my raft, shielding my bleary eyes against the sun, the stranger in the hot Finally the committee reached a decision, and Nylk stood regally. Silencing his short air balloon dropped the end of a rope down to my raft. I clambered up the rope and fell er companions simple repetitions (Mr. L. Trebor as I recall, was only able to repeat that unceremoniously into the basket of the balloon. one meaningless phrase), he issued the findings of the committee. "The crew of the "Thank you so much for saving me!" I said gratefully to the two men and one Noolab agrees that in order to preserve the course of the balloon we must jettison woman I found standing with me in the basket. the collection of art, unimportant science, and literature." "Hello down there," the shorter of the two men said cheer With that we set to earnestly flinging every document, book, fully. He looked to his companions with an expectant smile, and manuscript as far from the basket as we could. Within and the rest of us stood there, markedly confused. minutes only the computing equipment and the crew The taller man thought for a moment and then remained, and we were again slowly ascending. bowed to me saying, "Robhgien taobria ruo ot We all let out a triumphant cheer and the three emoclew." members of the crew resumed their meeting to I was taken aback by the strange words discuss forming an inquiry into the direction and said nothing, but my confusion must they might consider' for the course of the have been obvious as an understanding look Noolab. The meeting began to drone on came over his face and he sat down at a and my attention quickly wandered. laptop computer on the floor. Mter typing I leaned my elbows on the basket's edge a few words, a mechanical voice came over and looked out across the span of skyline the computer's speakers, "Welcome to our coasting silently past, far below. air-boat, neighbor!" In the distance a mountain loomed up The shorter man nodded his head at the through the clouds an~ I began to day laptop's statement and added as an after dream as the balloon's gentle spin carried thought, "Hello down there!" it out of my sight. By the time the balloon I smiled and replied, "I appreciate your help, rotated back around and I could see the moun but where are we?" Mter a moment, the laptop tain peak again, it was considerably closer and croaked out, "Ew era erehw tub pleh ruoy etaicerp very clearly in our path. pa i." It was in this way that we managed to commu- You will excuse my excitement, but the moment I nicate. realized the balloon was set on a collision course with the As we floated soundlessly through the sky, I learned that mountain, I must say that I lost my head. Unfortunately, at the the strangers were three scholars intent on making their air craft the very same moment, the three members of the Noollab began arguing best balloon in the land through sound logic and scientific research. In fact, about how best to market the technical virtues of their balloon. right before they rescued me, they were just about to take the first of many steps in mak In the ensuing flurry of"We're going to hit that mountain!" and "But there's just no ing a great hot air balloon: they were about to decide on a name. This discussion they research money to be had with an artistic balloon!" and even "Surely if we attract the continued after we concluded our introductions. technical passengers greedier ones would follow," you may well imagine how very little "So it is agreed then," said the taller man (who was named Nylk Narf). "We shall call was actually heard. our craft the Noollab!" I confess that it was years before I realized that Noolab is merely I can only offer the humblest of excuses, therefore, that I was unable to do more in Balloon spelled backwards. Mter much self-congratulations and laughter, they recom that hectic foray; and the balloon inevitably collided with the mountain peak. I don't menced their planning for what would be a first rate balloon. exactly remember the events immediately following the crash, but I am quite certain the By this time it was very clear that an extra passenger added too much weight for Noolab ended its prestigious voyage on the mountain that day. the Noolab to handle. As the balloon descended closer to the ground, the crew became Missing the full story. Check out http:/ /simpligan.blogspot.com .l\. MonESr l'RpPoS.AL Aprii200S 13 MSs;f~v~C;le (albums you can miss but shouldn'tf We're three months into 2005 and it's already shaping up to be, by a pretty good margin, the best year for new music in a long time. Brilliant new albums are hitting left and right from both established artists and up-and-coming acts. This section is designed to give you a taste of albums too low on the mainstream radar to be played 24/7 on the radio, but accessible enough to be purchased at your local record store without selling your soul. Without further ado, here are three recent albums worthy of your attention. fooled by the rather tepid cover art which trick pony with current single "So Here BLOC PARTY oddly resembles Travis' The Man Who; We Are", combining shimmering guitars SILENT ALARM Bloc Party's brand of angular post-punK and keyboards with a slowly building vocal If there was any justice in the world, contains a pulse much more rapid than that crescendos into the prom theme you you'd be walking down the street listening the aforementioned Britpop band. Front should've had, and the call-and-response to cars rattling with the snaking bass line man Kele 0 kereke sounds like a possessed vocals of "This Modern Love". Buy the from "Positive Tension" or walking to class version of Blur's Damon Albarn, yelping album now and insult your friends later with your iPod nodding your head to last and howling over effect-laden guitars and after Silent Alarm starts ending up sold year's single "Banquet". Considering the a rhythm section driven by the blistering out at Best Buy and you hear "Helicopter" amount of buzz around these guys in in drums of Matt Tong, who gets his show right after Good Charlotte on the radio. dependent music circles and in their native case immediately in the opening track Britain, you might eventually; this quartet "Like Eating Glass". While the album T RACKS TO TEST: "Like Eating has the potential - and the songs - to be does hit its peak early on (with the best Glass", "Helicopter", "Banquet" this year's Franz Ferdinand-esque break leadoff four-song set in a very long time), through act here in the States. D on't be the band proves itself more than a one- DOVES proach. They've also packed the tunes as "The Storm" samples a string section over SOME CITIES well, with leadoff single "Black and White harmonica, acoustic guitar, and a trip-hop Doves haven't exactly been un Town" being the best thing they've writ rhythm that recalls early Portishead. The known to American audiences; their last ten since their debut album Lost Souls. album isn't perfect; the drums and chorus album The Last Broadcast met with lim A simple three-chord piano riff is driven of"Walk in Fire" are a bit too reminiscent ited radio airplay of the singles "There by thudding Northern Soul drums, pul of "There Goes the Fear", and "Shadows Goes the Fear" and "Pounding" along with sating bass, distorted guitars, and a soar of Salford" tries to recall earlier low-fi ef rotation on MTV2. Compared to their ing chorus that demands a stadium audi forts like "M62 Song" or ''A H ouse", only platinum success back home, however, ence singing along in unison. "Snowden'' forgetting the melodies that made those these three guys from Manchester are hit . isn't content with simple backing vocals songs memorable. On the whole though, ting the wall that has frustrated so many for the chorus, instead sending a whole it's another very strong outing for a band of their peers across the pond - making choir in their stead while lead vocalist that deserves to make it big in the States. a name for themselves in the U.S. Some Jimi Goodwin demands "Why should we Cities has the potential to remedy that care?" in the verses. "One Of These Days" TRACKS TO TEST: "Black and problem, tearing down some of the ma drifts in on echoing synthesizers only to White Town", "Snowden", "Someday jestic wall-of-sound guitars that have been be interrupted by a low-end bass thump, Soon" their staple for a grittier, more basic ap- an insistent snare, and glistening guitars; THE DECEMBERISTS them, they demanded it. On this, their lyrics that he has penned to this point, PICARESQUE third full-length album, the Decemberists culminating in the lines "I am a writer/a have suddenly opened a door to potential writer of fictions/I am the heart that you M ter two albums on the roster of large-scale success, with opening song call home/and I've written pages/upon Kill Rock Stars, the D ecemberists seemed "The Infanta" barreling along with in pages/trying to rid you from my bones." destined to the same fate as spiritual pre sistent drums and frantic vocals. Songs Ideally, it would become "The Scientist" decessor Neutral Milk H otel: write intel like "Sixteen Military Wives" and "The of this spring and summer, having all the ligent, fiercely literate pop songs about Sporting Life" display Meloy's usual wit potential of Coldplay's lovelorn ballad. everything from architects to pirates to and poetic skill over glossy pop melodies O f course, more than likely they'll end stillborn children to a small devoted audi that bounce along with new-wave key up playing those same clubs again, but at ence of indie kids at small clubs around boards and jaunty drums. "O f Angels and least you can have the chance to enjoy the the nation. While a few songs dipped Angles" and "Eli, the Barrow Boy" recall band's brilliance on your own. too far into lead singer/songwriter Colin the simple acoustic joys of songs like "Red Meloy's fantasy realm without bringing Right Ankle", and the glorious "The En TRACKS TO TEST: "The Sporting along a strong enough melody to keep gine Driver" is the best thing Meloy has Life", "The Engine Driver", "On the Bus listeners there, tracks like "Los Ange even written - a simple acoustic melody Mall" les, I'm Yours" and "Leslie Ann Devine" filled by mid-tempo drums, accordion, and not only deserved a larger crowd to hear one of the most compact, affecting sets of All of these bands - and these tracks - can be heard on Radio UTD along with equally deserving unknown bands that are far better than the majority of material on the air waves. I'll be playing all three bands on my show, which airs on Saturdays from 6 to 8 PM at the radio website, radio.utdallas.edu. Support college radio and tune in at any time! Aprll2005 ....a\. MoDEST SociAL CoMMENTARY Teaching our children: Creationism vs. Evolution the Bible or of the scientific method - if grad degree and I am still uncertain about take the choice that had the majority of by Daniel Erwin you are able to read these words then you the nature of perception and understand the votes and apply it to the shoe, making [email protected] have the ability and the responsibility to ing. (Maybe when I get that diploma it it reality. The way to solve the debate about figure that out for yourself (Person will come to me.) But we don't have to This would be the most important part creationism and evolution theory being ally, I see no need to choose - they · teach fifth-graders about Sartre in of the experiment, although the meaning taught in our schools is along the lines are both right. But that's a dif order to let them know that there might be too abstract for the younger ones of what proponents of Intelligent Design ferent discussion.) In American are different ways to see things. A to see. have been doing; we must make children schools, however, we present only class vote on the subject of that fa- Finally, take a noisy, perhaps half-bro aware that evolution is "only" a theory. a very small part of that responsi mous optical illusion with the old ken object and put it in a sealed box. Let However, it is also necessary to present bility and that decision. lady and the young lady is a good each student shake it and guess what is the other side of that fact: Intelligent De We are in the habit of giving starting place. inside. When they have all told what they sign, or Creationism, or even the Bible it students information which they Don't tell the students there are think it is, explain that this guessing game, self are "only" belief structures. No matter must memorize and regurgitate two pictures, and don't let them as well as the previous ones, is just like sci what you think of these important ideas, and don't prepare them ·for a talk about it until they've each writ ence; we see something and we think we you have to admit that they have a context world where the Ultimate An down their interpretation. (An know what it is. We label it and use it, and and a meaning. They can be considered swers are in dispute or pos- interesting lesson in world if it works then we assume we were right. truth, or even Truth, but I think it's safe sibly unknown. Even in the history would be to make But can we ever really know? to say that the ideas we all agree on (food, best situations, grade-school the students who only see Some people say God tells them what time, life) are also important to focus on. students are expected to the old lady go sit in the is right, what is real, what is true. Science, Those things we all experience and understand and be able corner for the duration however, relies on physical evidence and share and - most importantly - HAVE to apply only the most of the semester.) reproducible experiences. Since the teacher THE SAME NAMES FOR are the part specific and trivial Next, hold an is not God, he or she cannot tell the class we can leave unquestioned, and they form parts of scientific, old, tattered shoe what they are really seeing (or whether it an important starting point. Everything historical, artistic, up for the class to is wholly physical) but can only educate beyond that is an in<;lividual's viewpoint, or religious knowl see. Who will label them in some of the ways to see things. and our country's constitution (as I see it) edge. it trash? Who will In terms of the origin of our species: guarantees our right to adopt whichever In order to keep label it useful? Who some people say there is a higher power one we feel like. ourselves and our will see a flower-pot, which, in one way or another, gave rise Anything that describes the world be government from or material for making to humans. Since the teacher is a teacher yond the limits of what we all must agree imposing a particular art, or a priceless relic of physical sciences, he or she cannot say on to live and work together is, for the belief structure or a world once worn by a saint? whether there is a higher being or order, purposes of legislation, an opinion. Fur view on them, we must teach Point out these options, but can only show us how to see some thermore, it is a perspective which an students about the meaning and and more, and then force the chil order in the physical artifacts we have to individual may adopt and see the world purpose of explaining and describing our dren to vote on which one it REALLY is, study. To drive the point home that stu through, if he or she chooses. world. on which viewpoint is the truth. Ask the dents must choose for themselves what I do not wish to confirm or deny the I know that this is a nearly impossible students about the relationship between to believe, the contents of the sealed box truth, importance, or usefulness of either task - I have almost completed my under- this exercise and the previous one. Then should never be revealed. correctly allows me to function in normal society Talking English~igltrmakcs-you and} 8*P8rts on grammer by James Fickenscher not correct. I hear this happen constantly, when saying that you and a friend are doing While I am on this soap box, there are [email protected] and I cringe every single time. something, you should say "My friend and I more common errors that can easily be Now, of course, people have started using are doing this." This occurs because you are avoided if one just takes a little time to think I don't know exactly when it happened, the word "I" correctly more often, but in an now part of the compound subject. before speaking. or why, but it has. Somewhere in the pas attempt to sound intelligent they don't use Basically, if you could substitute in the Another commonplace error that occurs sage of time, people stopped learning the "me" and thus speak incorrectly. The pro pronoun "us", you should use the pronoun is the usage of adjectives where adverbs are English language correctly, and since then noun "me" is to be used when referring to "me" and not "I". And when you could use appropriate. It's really not any more incon have dilapidated into speaking some cheap oneself as an object, and "I" when referring the pronoun "we", use the pronoun "I" and venient or any more difficult to use the ad imitation. to oneself as a subject. not "me". verb form of a word than the adjective form, As an example, sometime in the past As an example, when asking someone to Now I am no English teacher, and by and using the incorrect form just makes one decade people have started shifting out the come with you and a friend, you should say, no means have fully mastered the English sound uneducated to those that can tell the word "me" in their vernacular, instead think "Would you like to come with my friend and language even after twelve years of teaching. difference. ing that the pronoun "I" is appropriate in all me?"You would say this because you are part However, this simple error just shows a lack circumstances. This, of course, is definitely of the object of the preposition "with". But of thought on the speaker's behalf. see TALK GOOD p.15 A MonEST 1'1\oPoS.AL Aprll2005 it humorous but depressing when listening should have learned how to speak and write that I see prevalent in our society. And as TALK GOOD to the average West Texan say phrases like effectively and correctly. Another just plain much as these mistakes bother me, I will continued from p. 14 "do it quick" and "I'm fixin' to". ridiculous commonplace error that I see never say that I speak English correctly all I mean, I understand that people are constantly is when people confuse the words of the time either. All of these ramblings are An example of this is when one is told to good at certain things and not so good at "your" and "you're" when writing, or when just the opinions of some nerd who has ob "drive safe" in advertisements. One cannot others, and that sometimes people literally the words "its" and "it's" are used where the viously spent way too much time thinking drive "safe"; one can, however, drive safely. I cannot speak English correctly. other should have been. about this. have seen that phrase advertised on several I also understand that the whole concept I know that English is supposedly one So no worries y'all, it's all good; as much billhoards and posters, and every time I see of language is the ability to convey your of the most difficult languages to learn, as I try to repress it, the inner West Texan it I wonder how in the world the creator of thoughts to one another; as long as the idea but those that have grown up in American in me still comes out once in a while. So that ad got their job. is conveyed sufficiently, the language has schools for their entire lives should have a maybe the next time your talking English, Growing up in a small West Texas town, I served its purpose. But none of this; by any little better grasp on it than is apparent. you'll see it's common mistakes and hope had the pleasure of hearing the English lan means, justifies the uneducated speech that Now I have no right to judge anyone else, fully speak it good instead. guage butchered and ripped apart every day is infesting our society. and especially not over little picky things From your friendly neighborhood Math by students a_n? :d,.ults... alike. I always found People at a collegiate level especially like these, but these are common mistakes major, signing off. 16 April2005 A MoDEST SociAL CoMMENTARY l~\7f)J.. tJ'I,If)N f)J1 '1,111~ S'l,lttJ()()J.. I~ ,J f)S I~ Millt'l'l by Andres Correa tributed to the development of a Latin American identity through his masterful literary works and organized revo and Amlr Boroujerdi lutionary movements to battle the forces of Spanish im History tells us of infrequent characters known as perialism. Although Marti gallantly fought to bring his "warrior-poets." There are few examples of men and political and social beliefs into fruition, he should more women that battle with both the pen and the sword, and importantly be remembered as a poet of the oppressed Jose Marti towers above most. and a theoretician of sociology. Born in Havana in 1853, Marti opposed the colonial Like his revolutionary predecessors, Marti envisioned hold of Spain o'ver Cuba from his earliest years. At only a Latin America free of racial and social discrimination. seventeen years of age, he was forced into exile in Spain However, Marti viewed the diversity of Latin America as over his activities in opposition to Spanish colonial rule. not only a cause for celebration, but as a reason for the Mter an education in law, theology, philosophy, and rejection of foreign cultural and social norms. literature at the University of Saragossa in Spain, he Marti urged the leaders of Latin America to structure reached Mexico City as a writer. He then spenr time in their young nations according to their specific social and Guatemala, and finally returned to Cuba in 1878 under a cultural environment. Latin America did not exist as an general amnesty. extension of Europe across the Atlantic Ocean, but as an His loyalty to values of political freedom drove him to independent continent that generated the new cosmic speak out against the Spanish authorities once again, in race of man. cluding some participation in conspiracies against the co Although Marti believed in the deeply rooted strength lonial government. He was exiled this time to the Unhed of his fellow Latin Americans, he frequently warned of States, spending a year in New York and then leaving it the ever-lurking forces of imperialism in his works. Mar for Venezuela. ti often referred to the United States as a preying tiger, The establishment of a military dictatorship in Ven slowly creeping through the bushes, waiting for the per ezuela forced him to return to New York, where he would fect opportunity to pierce the tender jugular of the south stay for the next fourteen years. During his time in New courtesy ern Americas. York he continued writing and began organizing what lhis stature in Central Park commorates the Rightfully so; Marti had come to realize the true na would become the war for Cuban independence. death ofJose Marti on May 19, 1895 where he ture and intentions of the forces of imperialism, for he In 1895, he departed New York to join the struggle for was wounded at the battle of Dos Rios in his had "lived inside the monster and knew its entrails." Cuban independence from Spain. Death found him in fight for Cuban independence. Cultivo una rosa blanca one of the first battles, where he struggled against Span ish troops with pen and gun both in hand. domination of Caribbean territories, including U.S. ex Cultivo una rosa blanca Marti's thought encompassed all aspects of freedom pansionism. En Junio como en Enero, Para el amigo sincero, and justice within society. A firm belie~er in the natural H e considered free and independent Caribbean na Que me da su mano franca. potential and strength of the human spirit, he dedicated tions as essential towards the balance of power in the his writing to the elaboration of the ideals of reason, lib Western Hemisphere. Y para el cruel que me a"anca erty, and even love. Throughout the history of the Americas, few men have El coraz6n con que vivo, Furthermore, Marti understood key geopolitical con fully embodied the courageous virtue of a warrior and the Cardo ni ortiga cultivo siderations behind Cuban independence within the con visionary intellect of a scholar. cultivo una rosa blanca. text of the Western Hemisphere. He shunned all foreign Before dying at the age of forty-two, Jose Marti con- -Jose Marti Geoff Barry Hannah Frank Clarisse Profilet Opinions txprtmd in this puolicotion ore thou of the -~MoDEST Amir Boroujerdi Bobby Janecka Liam Skoyles Neha Chinai Eric Kildebeck BoThai editor or writer of the article and are TUJt neassarily those of the University adminiJtrafion, The Board ofR.egmts ofthe University Andres Correa Jonathan Lane Benedict Voit ofTexas System or the Boord ofthe puhlicofion. ~SAL Daniel Erwin Cheng Lee Walter Voit James Fickenscber John McLean Jordan Youngblood