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TIDBITS JOURNALISM The Meth Mess Idiotic Inventive Crimes 8 Grace Carter 38 Mark Peters Must-Have Tech Gadgets 2005 8 Agha Khan TABLET: Fiction Recording in a Free World Phantom of Havana: 10 Paul Rouse 50 The Forgotten Legend of C.J. Fuentes El Rushbo, Gentle Arbiter Chris Wilson 12 Michael Serazio Flight 117, Tampa to Providence Insomnia Corner 55 Jennifer Farmer 15 Moisture Therapy Docents Against Darwin 59 Krista Jarmas 16 R.M Schneiderman ON THE FENCE TOCFrom the Left THE CCM INTERVIEW Sen. John McCain on 60 Dmitry Tuchinsky 18 Young Pros in 2006 65 From the Right Igor Finkel and Jonathon Scott Feit Ben Barron First Person SATIRE 70 Jill Dudones 21 A Good Day for John Bolton Seth Reiss 75 THE “F” WORD APHRODISIA CCM INVESTIGATES On Camping and Childbirth The NYC Security Paradox 23 Jen Karetnick 82 Team Coverage TRAVEL LOCAL FLAVOR: Anecdote Bluffed by Bali Adventures in Designer 26 Nicholas Gill 88 Handbag Shopping Amanda Joyce GLOBAL FOCUS Murder in Mongolia ARCHITECTURE 32 Claudia B. Flisi In Pursuit of Luxury issue92 Molly Klais #6 corrections 11/22/05 11:14 AM Page 4
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MAGAZINES CONTRIBUTORS New York’s Arbiter of Cool JEN KARETNICK is a Miami-based freelance writer 99 Jonathon Scott Feit and poet. She works as the features editor for Wine 102 THE 6*4*6 News, the Miami stringer for Gayot.com and the restaurant critic for So.Florida Magazine, Las Olas LINES AND LISTS Magazine and Lincoln Road Magazine. Her poetry has ’s Band of 2005: Citizen Culture appeared in North American Review, River Styx, The 106 Garin Pirnia The Good, the Bad and the Ugly: Greensboro Review, The Nebraska Review and others. 106 Best and Worst Albums of 2005 Jack DeVoss CHRIS WILSON is a writer and freelance journalist in Washington, DC. Phantom of Havana is one of a series CONCERTS White Stripes at Keyspan Park, of stories in a novel Wilson has been working on for 109 Coney Island several years. He is also working on a screenplay Andrew Battle adaption of his short story The Dry Season, which was The Top Ten Films of 2005 nominated for the Pushcart Prize in 2003. He is a 111 Jeff Sneider graduate of the University of Virginia. BOOKS 112 Year of the Doomsday Book MARK PETERS is a writer, juggler, and teacher from Amy O’Loughlin Chicago. His writing has appeared in Mental Floss, Other, FILM Punk Planet, and Verbatim: The Language Quarterly. Chameleon Christian Bale 118 Amanda Feuerman with John Black Based in Italy, bicultural CLAUDIA FLISI writes for mainstream media such as Newsweek and corporate RESTAURANTS clients both Italian and international. She has a bonsai How to Earn a Promotion Over Lunch 122 Jonathon Scott Feit Doberman who will never go to Mongolia. 123 Restaurants: Editor’s Picks NICHOLAS GILL, 25, is a Columbus-based freelance PORTFOLIO writer, although for much of the past few years he has Waves of Mercy been everywhere but. He is the author of Peru Adventure 124 Scott Harrison Guide (Hunter Publishing, Summer 2006). corrections 11/22/05 11:14 AM Page 5
Read your mission statement re: “free flow of ideas— Please feel free to reject me again in the future. As no matter how controversial.” Your lead item on Bill you choose to disregard all thought not posed to you Maher on the cover [Issue #5, May 2005] begged to by pre-approved pontificators, I encourage you to be picked up and read. I did. Loved it. insult and degrade as many emerging thought My first reaction was a reincarnation of George scavengers as one email check per day allows. Magazine by JFK, Jr. Am I right? I really enjoyed Chasity Gregory that and missed it when it died. (I have the first and Via email last issues.) CCM is a great magazine, an eye-opener and good I pull no punches. Your article, “Scientology’s Night balancing agent for aging intellectuals like myself, a at the Movies” [Issue #5, May 2005] though well voracious/eclectic reader with 30 years in the written, comes off like my high school thesis: it looks workforce, one who enjoys people of all ages and what like you took quotes from Scientology books that makes them tick! Do I miss work? Hell, no, I’m sound like they back up your argument that Bless The happily retired—but still writing up a storm of my Child’s storyline is factual and right on the money. own and tearing up a pea patch in my town. I’m And it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out that 75 years young, with no rust on my wheels, so keep it that movie is pointing a Right-wing, Christian finger coming. I look forward to reading more—the at Scientology. Your assessment that Hubbard interviews were well across the board, enjoyed them obviously finds his audience “gullible” due to a very much. statement saying that someone can improve their Audrey J. Boerum life…well, that just tells your readers that you Bellows Falls, VT personally don’t think that’s possible. So you come off as a cynic, and therefore biased. Thank you so much for recently rejecting my piece, If you ever want to have a conversation with “We were given an X.” Due to the nature of the someone who actually knows about Scientology, I’m rejection, I am unable to think highly of you as an offering. I’ve been a Scientologist for 15 years. They individual. haven’t taken all my money, they don’t have my phone There are numerous reasons why I decide that an tapped, I don’t walk around with a plastic smile editor is only worthy of being deemed the quickest of handing out pamphlets or selling books, and the things 100,000 sperm. Possible reasons for this are blatant I learned about improving my life years ago through disregard for personal courtesy, an obvious applying Scientology still help me to this day, and obliviousness to the growing rumble of discontent allow me to do something impossible, like make a from the public about the current state of media, or living playing solo bass guitar and singing. even quite possibly the arrogance displayed by one Seth Horan who chooses to copy and paste standard rejection Via email responses.
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Destiny. Serendipity. Opportunity. he had never before played. Along I came a There’s some magical imperative for an few minutes later and, after introducing myself, entrepreneur to be in the right place at the asked if we could have an interview. The right time with the foresight and tenacity to answer made our night: “Sure, how about take advantage of the moment. Luck only tomorrow, after my talk?” (The interview matters tangentially. Carpe diem—I think Robin begins on page 18.) Williams said it best. The theme of our sixth issue is Our Because every once in a while, there's Hidden World, so we bring you a collection of Dan exclusive to be captured: While attending details you should notice. People you might the American Magazine Conference in Puerto otherwise never face; causes that deserve (and Rico a few weeks ago, Deputy Publisher Igor receive, starting on page 124) our reverence; in Finkel saw that Senator John McCain (who our exclusive “On the Fence” section, would be speaking to the conference the next perspectives that you ought to hear (but may day) was heading up the craps table, and there not have, or previously ignored). Each was some space to stand on his immediate wrinkles our world, and together they embody right. Never shy and ever suave, Igor sidled the lifestyle that is Citizen Culture—perspectives up, made some small talk, and found himself of, by, and for Young Professionals. being schooled by the Senator about a game
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We aim to be in the right place at the Jonathon Scott Feit Chief Editor & Publisher Michael Pullmann Managing Editor right time, with the right medium and the right Kelly Brumleve Executive Editor for Features
messages. Our switch from print to digital Executive Joelle Asaro Berman Executive Editor for Columns distribution serves a singular purpose: to deliver Sara Jones Executive Director of Art & Layout Robert Favuzza Chief Marketing Officer the magazine to Young Professional readers Igor Finkel Deputy Publisher where we all find ourselves at once captive and attentive—our computers. We're proud to be Tim Lavin Senior Editor for Politics & the world's first test of the technology as a re- Front-of-Book B. Theo Mazumdar Senior Editor for Reviews launch platform. You gain multimedia Editorial Editorial R.M. Schneiderman Senior Editor for Fiction interactivity and more of the content you've Kristen Consilio Senior Editor for Fiction asked for; you lose the chore of a special Seth Reiss Associate Editor for Humor Damien Power Senior Editor for “Local Flavor” newsstand trip to buy our next month's issue. Sanford Kunkel Associate Editor & Co-Director of I have tended to use this space to lay out “Local Flavor”/6*4*6 the framework of a political platform, as the Casey Spear Associate Editor & Co-Director of publishers I emulate have done before me. But “Local Flavor”/6*4*6 John Iton Senior Editor for Fashion & Photo when profound change is afoot, my job shifts to Joey Lynn Acosta Associate Beauty Director what a colleague of mine calls “Reader-in- Jessica Casper Associate Fashion Editor-at-Large Chief,” taking your hands so we can journey Zach Arbuckle Associate Publisher for Web Presence together. Have we accomplished our goals? John Rakolta Director of Strategic Marketing Now and in the future, we invite your Timothy Patrick Special Projects Manager
submissions as well as your letters of Maria Lekae Marketing Information Manager Marketing suggestion, support and criticism. Write to Kevin Spector House Advertising Designer Interns Cathy Serpico, Sarah Skarzynski [email protected]. This magazine Models Olivr Utshudi, Kerri Reyelt, is your mouthpiece, and citizenculture.com is Kristofer Blohm, Felicia Roman, your hub. We look forward to knowing you. Marilyn Torres
[email protected] Admiringly yours, Manuscript Submissions Advertising Sales [email protected] Letters to the Editor [email protected] Subscribe online @ www.citizenculture.com Jonathon Scott Feit, Citizen Culture Magazine (ISSN 1553-2747) is dedicated to publishing the highest quality works by new and talented Contributors, fostering the free flow Chief Editor & Publisher of ideas, no matter how controversial. on behalf of Citizen Culture Magazine The opinions herein expressed are exclusively those of the atuhors, and do not necessarily reflect the opinions of the Feit Family Ventures Corporation, Citizen Culture Magazine, its editors, publishers, advertisers, affiliates, agents, suppliers, or other contributors. Neither the Feit Family Ventures Corproation nor Citizen Culture Magazine assumes any responsibility for unsolicited material of any type. All submitted materials will be treated as assigned and available for publication. Submission implies the availability of appropriate copyrights. Material will be subject to our unrestricted right to edit for content, length, clarity, etc. Design & content © 2005 by the Feit Family Ventures Corporation, except as otherwise credited. No portion of this magazine may be reproduced without expressed permission from the Publisher. corrections 11/22/05 11:14 AM Page 8
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countless tear-rending examples of riches to rags. Even, by one account, the The Meth Mess inadvertent poisoning of cattle by a This is your brain careless thief who left a chemical tank on irresponsibly provocative journalism. valve open in their pen while trying to steal materials for a home lab [Beef READERS OF THIS MAGAZINE have no doubt Magazine, September 2005]. But the come across the story in another resulting stream of horrific tales in reputable publications. “An epidemic!” regional papers has misrepresented the declares the cover line. “Worse than source of the problem to the public. crack,” cries the pullout quote. Media Eighty percent of the methamphetamine coverage of America's methamphetamine consumed illegally in the U.S., according problem has been widespread and to the DEA, comes from “meth emphatic—and often overblown. 1.3 superlabs” in California and Mexico. million American meth addicts sounds Rather than give twenty percent of the like a lot, until compared with our 2.7 problem one-hundred percent of the million devoted cocaine users, and both attention, the media must investigate the these numbers are dwarfed by the real story of meth in America. reported 15 million Americans addicted Pioneered by Mexican drug cartels in to prescription drugs. If we're to call to the early 1990s, the superlab uses meth “the nation's most dangerous drug,” commercial-grade equipment to produce as Newsweek recently did, we should between one hundred thousand and a probably have the numbers to prove it. million doses of meth in 48 hours. By Still, methamphetamine presents a contrast, the average at-home cook can grave quandary for America: it's cheap, whip up about 280 doses in the same it's burgeoning, and it's easy to make. time period. Mostly overlooked in the This last fact has captured the barrage of news stories about user labs, imagination of many a journalist. The the superlab industry invisibly sagas surrounding home meth labs are as metastasizes like a cancer, delivering the colorful and morally cautionary as tales drug along established heroin and from The Arabian Nights: violent cocaine routes clear across to North explosions, vast toxic mess, crazed cooks Carolina. But there's an Achilles' heel in maiming or killing family members,
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the production process, one that the MUST-HAVE government has been slow to pinch. In order to manufacture massive TECH GADGETS amounts of the drug, superlabs need an 2005 abundant supply of either ephedrine or pseudoephedrine. Both chemicals are Sony Cyber-shot DSC -T7 much more difficult to produce than digital camera meth itself—only nine factories produce Seeing celebrities all around town lately? If the entire world's supply. Aggressive you have ever secretly dreamt of being a lobbying from the pharmaceutical sector paparazzi photographer, this is the camera has slowed government progress in for you. The Cyber-shot DSC-T7 is the thinnest digital camera yet from Sony. It developing a rigorous regulation strategy features 5.1 Megapixel image capture, a for these drugs—both are pivotal Carl Zeiss Vario-Tessar lens with 3X ingredients in many products of the $3 optical zoom and 5 area multi-point auto billion dollar cold medication industry. focus, all in a camera body only 5/8 of an Last year a study in the Oregonian inch thick. A full-sized 2.5" hybrid LCD provided conclusive evidence that each with clear photo technology allows for easy time new government legislation viewing and editing in bright sunlight. The T7's ultra-compact design doesn't interrupted the flow of these chemicals to compromise its performance; Sony's Real the cartels—in 1995-96 and 1998-99— Imaging Processor technology, 14-Bit DXP meth prices went up, and crime and A/D conversion processor, and multi- addiction rates went down. pattern measuring all combine to provide At the moment, international faster start-up time, quicker shutter speeds, manufacturers of pseudoephedrine and and accurate exposures for photographs that are consistently extraordinary. ephedrine are required to monitor sales to the States and Mexico, but not to other $499 countries. Within our borders, www.sonystyle.com pseudoephedrine-based cold medications continue to be sold straight out of the aisle to anyone in limitless amounts in most states. (Some, like Kentucky, Iowa, Missouri and Indiana among others have introduced statewide limitations on
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pseudoephedrine, with meth-busting results.) It doesn't take a small army in a South American country to fix this Palm Life Drive Mobile problem. In a few simple steps—asking Manager the handful of producers of ephedrine multi-media PDA and pseudoephedrine for their
The Life Drive combines mobility and cooperation in monitoring buyers, and accessibility, literally in the palm of your placing pseudoephedrine products behind hands. It's perfect for that coffee break at counters and limiting their sale—the Starbucks; small, sleek and attractive, it can government could squash America's meth act as both a mini laptop replacement and habit. on-the-go media center. With a 4GB hard drive it can store loads of digital files- including photos, music, video and office documents. It is a perfect travel companion; Recording in a lighten your luggage by leaving your portable DVD player, MP3 player and Free World laptop at home. The TFT color touchscreen That sucking sound? It's called big-label allows easy access to multiple applications music. Its demise is nigh. such as Excel, Word and Acrobat. Find a Wi-Fi hotspot anywhere in the world, connect to the Internet and check email THERE WAS A SIMPLER TIME IN THE with the built-in Wi-Fi 802.11B and recording industry when the daily chores Bluetooth 1.1 wireless. didn't include compiling a list of 12-year olds to sue. These days, however, if $499 you're thinking about striking it rich in www.store.palm.com the business, you'd be wise to put down the guitar and hone your chops at law school: with record sales swooning, the industry execs appear determined to sue their way to profitability. The ostensible intent of these lawsuits is to deter Internet file-sharing, a technique of downloading free music at
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which the young excel and which the “Sucked Out,” in constant MTV major labels consider a devastating blow rotation, and solid songs throughout the to their finances. But most record album, Superdrag looked to be headed to companies have been digging their own a life of luxury tour buses. In 1998 they graves for years: file sharing is just the released a second album, full of stunning logical extension of a debased marketing songwriting and instrumentation, which strategy. from an artistic point of view should The problem lies in which word one have cemented their reputation as one of emphasizes, “record” or “company.” the better rock bands of their generation. Musicians make records. Companies The rave reviews it garnered furthered make money. Historically, the two that argument. Unhappy there wasn't coexisted uneasily: the best market for another “Sucked Out” on the album, money-making has been teenagers—a however, Elektra scarcely promoted it, demographic not exactly renowned for its which led to one review summing it up as musical discernment. “the best album you haven't heard this American adolescents, indeed, will year.” The band and its label soon gorge themselves on any pop star item- parted. from t-shirts to posters to soap-on-a-rope- The story reads the same for many with little regard for the talents of the other good bands. As a rule, hit singles bands they help market but with great usually trump enduring talent. For every concern for their trendiness. Companies Radiohead, there are a hundred LFO's. consequently follow the teen fads and “LF-who?” you ask. Exactly. lasso as many cash cows as they can find But file-sharing has turned every until they've squeezed the last dollar out truth of the recording industry upside- of the marginally-talented udder. Over down. Now the American teen, that the years, as a result, the major labels formerly pliant demographic, is the most have jettisoned many truly gifted bands tech-savvy, and any song they want is just because the need for a radio hit the click of a button away. With so many outweighed the artists' vision for the artists relying so heavily on one hit single, record. the choice for teenage fans is an obvious Consider Superdrag. They released one: why pay for an album with only two their first major-label album in 1996 on or three listenable songs when they can Elektra. With a buzz-worthy single, download what they like for free?
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So if they are to survive, what can the record companies do? They could Sony Ericsson W800 follow the example of Wilco, perhaps: camera phone plus mp3 player dropped by a big label, the band streamed their next album online for free before releasing it. The technique Talk the talk, move to the music and shoot pictures with the new Sony Ericsson W800. resulted in their highest debut to date (on If you hate carrying a phone, an iPod and a an independent label), along with camera around, the people at Sony Ericsson considerable critical praise. have heard your prayers. The W800 ships Or they could accept their fate. with a 512 megabyte Memory Stick PRO Music, as an industry, is clearly thriving. Duo, allowing it to hold approximately 30 The marketing machine that calls itself a hours of music. The W800 also comes with Disk2Phone software, which enables quick, “record company” is not. Independent convenient transfer of music CDs onto the musicians should be ecstatic at the phone via a PC. You can also tune into FM amount of exposure the Internet can radio on the device. The W800 is equipped provide—there was a harder time when with a 2.0 mega-pixel auto-focus camera success required the attentions of by a with an active lens cover and digital still major label. Those days are long gone. camera interface. The device's Bluetooth wireless technology enables wireless connectivity with a Bluetooth headset or car El Rushbo, kit. And, the W800 comes with embedded games and the ability to download Gentle Arbiter additional games. The phone ring is played through the stereo headphones so you won't News is more fun when it's on your side. But miss a call. Defining cool just got easier. is it news?
$499 EVEN FOR AN ACADEMIC STUDY, THE www.shopwireless.- revelations felt a touch breathless and set sonyericsson.com off the kind of media hyperventilating and Hamlet-worthy self-doubt that increasingly torments journalists. In June, the Annenberg Public Policy Center at the University of Pennsylvania released the results of a survey that found more By Michael Serazio 12 Citizen Culture corrections 11/22/05 11:14 AM Page 13
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than a quarter of Americans consider Rush Limbaugh a journalist—roughly the same figure that Bob Woodward, beacon Bose 321 GSX DVD Home of impartiality, scored. Entertain-ment System The implication, of course, is that we media entertainment system take our media with attitude; that Limbaugh's popularity is a sign of the The Bose 321 DVD home entertainment partisan press in spring. Moreover, the system comes with amazing design long-standing conventional wisdom aesthetics and rich aural sounds-plus it maintains that that is a bad thing. That shares your taste in music. A match made in may be so, but it's missing the point. It is, heaven. It has the capability to store and organize an entire music collection through in fact, the infotainment ethos of partisan the uMusic™ intelligent playback system-up media that is far more troubling than its to 200 hours of music. The “intelligent” political aims. The problem is not with technology goes beyond storing music. The Limbaugh's polarity, but rather his system learns a user's listening preferences hilarity. and offers up selections automatically. True Gripped by the sort of “Why don't to the original 3·2·1 system philosophy, the 3·2·1 GSX system delivers a convincing they like us?” panic that affects recently- home theater experience from just two heartbroken 15-year-old girls, media visible speakers, a hideaway Acoustimass pontificators and practitioners searched module and an elegant media center. The deeply within themselves trying to explain 3·2·1 GSX system employs advanced Bose the study's findings. What of objectivity? TrueSpace surround digital processing What of balance? Great questions for circuitry and includes patented Gemstone® speaker arrays-available in silver or graphite Journalism Ethics 101, but this is the real gray to match your existing components. world. And the question they should be Guaranteed to impress. asking is, “What of ratings?” Perhaps a few insights into this $1699 question could emerge from dialing up Bose retail stores or Limbaugh himself on the AM www.bose.com bandwidth. As anyone who has tuned into America's self-proclaimed “truth detector” for more than, oh, 38 seconds knows, the “liberal elite mainstream
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media” comes in for a daily dose of pistol-whipping that would leave The Gimp from Pulp Fiction sore. The New York Times does not have such polemical LG Electronics 60-inch Plasma luxuries, a constraint of both format and Display Panel with Built-In temperament. And that makes the Digital Video Recorder Times—and the Orderly Media Universe plasma TV with built-in digital recorder it represents—a slow-moving target for
Invite your friends to watch back-to-back snipers like Rush. The problem, though, episodes of Arrested Development on the is not so much that they're taking aim, new LG 60-inch plasma TV. The first plasma but that they must do it so simplistically. with built-in digital video recorder, this unit That's the magic of radio—and, for lets you watch your favorite television that matter, oratory—as a medium. In programs on your own time. Its integrated the world of audio-only, it’s Rush’s 160-gigabyte DVR can record up to 13 hours of digital high-definition programming or 63 ballgame; he calls the shots. As do Bill hours of digital standard-definition O'Reilly, Sean Hannity, and this listener's programming. LG's proprietary XD Engine favorite nightly volcano, Michael Savage. technology converts low resolution analog And their audiences love it. signals to near high-definition levels. The We naturally gravitate toward getting result? Enhanced overall picture quality and our information from those we believe an incredible viewing experience. Fully stand for the same things that we do. integrated, with a 5000:1 contrast ratio and 1366 x 768p resolution, this plasma is perfect We're more likely to seek out the facts for watching sports and movies. That's not from those who get the truths right. The all: the 9-in-2 multi memory card reader ever-present flag graphic on the highly- also allows easy display of pictures stored on rated Fox News freaks out a good many your digital camera's memory card. Sit back journalists, but for much of America it is and enjoy. a sign of shared values. It is not-so-tacitly $8999 acknowledging that there are sides and Major consumer it's letting you know whose side the electronics chains network is on. It establishes trust. Once that trust is clinched, news is little more than a product. It is entertainment, not a civic requirement
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like your income taxes, and it is driven by market forces—the very same market INSOMNIA corner forces that have encouraged an avalanche of infotainment of late. The very same Can't sleep? Quaaludes and vodka no longer cutting forces that crowd North Korean nuclear it? You could start a club with your implausibly negotiations off the screen of Headline independent alter ego where you fight nameless, News in favor of important stories on desperately melancholic men in basements and then Tom Cruise's reproductive efforts. The turn it into a criminal…Whatever. Embrace your very same forces that reduce presidential insomnia. These shows were made for you. Psycho. campaigns to horse races between WUNDER SHOZEN dueling personalities. MTV2, Fri @ 9:30 p.m., That last is the real problem with other days 2 & 2:30 a.m. (EST) Limbaugh and his ilk: All issues are “A twisted nightmare for all ages." Think GI Joe reduced to personality in the glib world cartoons devolved into no-holds-barred melees with of infotainment. It’s often slander homeless Nam vets raiding the local liquor store. Also masquerading as reasoned debate. And puppet montages where Mother Nature undergoes a sex change operation. because the marketplace rewards entertainment over nuance, it’s going to MYTHBUSTERS be successful. Discovery Channel, Wed @ 9 p.m., People are happier listening to Rush Thurs @ 12 a.m. (EST) because it’s more or less like sitting in a Ever wonder whether swimming underwater might warm bath at the end of the day. He actually save you from machine gun fire? These guys will tell you. confirms their ethics and tickles their bellies. But he does not give you much in ADULT SWIM the way of intellectual gravity. And that, Cartoon Network, Sat-Thurs, more than political orientation, is the real 11p.m. - 6 a.m. (EST) threat to good journalism and good Familiar programming like Futurama and Family Guy degenerates, as night deepens, into a lineup of democracy. In my ideal society, I want to terrifying obscurity, including The Oblongs, a cartoon see people get smarter. I really don't care about a family deformed by a chemical waste spill, in which direction. I'll gladly give you and Harvey Birdman, an animated courtroom op-ed liberty—you give me depth. “drama” that evokes Space Ghost on stronger acid.
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building the Creation Museum, a $25 million project in Petersburg, Kentucky. Their intent? To argue that science IRON CHEF supports the biblical account of creation. Food Network, 11 p.m. & 3 a.m. (EST) Guts, glory, and, of course, terrible Japanese voice- Most of the museum won't be finished over. until 2007, but when completed, the MXC: MOST EXTREME 55,000 square foot complex will feature animatronic dinosaurs that sermonize ELIMINATION CHALLENGE about creationism and a special effects SpikeTV, Sat @ 2 & 2:30 a.m., Sun @ 1 a.m., & Thurs @ 9 - 11 p.m. (EST) theater that would spray water mist Take Double Dare to Japan and lose the safety during, say, a showing of an original film harnesses and Marc Summers. Include innovative about Noah's Ark. While other creation obstacles such as a revamped mechanical bull ride, museums exist, this one may be more and make contestants shoot bats with a watergun. influential because of its size and Let's not forget our fun-loving hosts Vic Romano, sophistication. And critics see a cauldron Kenny Blankenship, and Guy LeDouche, with of controversy brewing in the Bluegrass cameos by Herby the Steamy Pile. State. Children are the first consideration. As a private organization, Answers in Docents Against Genesis has every right to build the museum; public school field trips there, Darwin however, are legally off limits. Yet that Kentucky puts the "Um?" in museum. doesn't mean the museum won't have an impact on education. Ken Ham, one of Eighty years after the Scopes Monkey the organization’s founders, says parents Trial, in which the state of Tennessee will likely take their kids to the museum fined a high school science teacher $100 on the weekends. Beyond that, the for teaching evolution, the national museum will serve as an information debate over creationism continues to, source. “The more we get the well, evolve. The latest battleground? A information out,” Ham says, “I’m sure museum in northern Kentucky. other people will…use it. If they use it on Answers in Genesis, the largest the school board or they use it in class, creationist group in the country, is then that's up to them.” By R.M. Schneiderman 16 Citizen Culture corrections 11/22/05 11:14 AM Page 17
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That’s exactly what critics like Chris place little or no emphasis on evolution. Lorentz are afraid of. A professor of And the Kentucky Core Content for biology at Thomas More College, Science Assessment, the basis by which Lorentz worries that the museum will science is tested statewide, uses the further distort the notion of scientific phrase “change over time” instead of theory and give the creationists an “evolution.” Lisa Gross, a spokeswoman advantage in the ideological war. for the Kentucky Department of Technically, the state of Kentucky is Education, says students are still tested also lending a hand; a state law enacted on evolution, that it's just a matter of in 1976 and re-enacted in 1990 permits semantics. But when the Word of God is teaching creationism in the classroom. at issue, semantics can be persuasive. That’s clearly illegal under federal law, Jerry Gels knows about this all too although no lawsuits have yet been filed. well. A 10th grade biology teacher in For that to happen, “We may… need to Erlanger, Kentucky, Gels reads Genesis identify parents willing to come forward and other creation stories to his class. He with a complaint,” University of doesn’t, however, teach creationism as Kentucky scientist Brandon Nuttall science; he teaches that science and wrote in an email to fellow critics of the religion aren’t mutually exclusive. If he state law earlier this year. didn’t broach the subject, he says, his Yet this paucity of parental students—roughly fifty percent of whom complaints may attest to the cultural are evangelical Christians—would climate. A CBS poll taken last year, for automatically reject evolution. instance, shows that fifty-five percent of And the Creation Museum has yet Americans think God created human to open its gates. “If the evolutionists beings in our present form, and that think the creationists are making an more than a third say creationism should impact now,” says Ham. “I’d say you replace evolution outright. haven’t seen anything yet.” In much of Kentucky, these ideas may possess an even greater appeal. A 1999 study by Jeffrey Weld, a professor of Science Education at Oklahoma State University, found that twenty-three percent of science teachers in Kentucky
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Sen. John McCain on Young Pros in 2006
On the evening before he addressed the American Magazine Conference in Puerto Rico this past October, and again deftly held at bay questions about whether he planned to seek the Presidency in 2008, John McCain, the senior senator from Arizona, could be found teaching Igor Finkel how to play craps at the resort’s casino. The next day, after his talk, he sat exclusively with Finkel and Jonathon Scott Feit to discuss Young Professionals’ role in and relationship with the media and government, his personal Zen, and the importance of a small head.
Citizen Culture is the country’s first magazine complicated relationships imaginable: self, family, state, targeting young professionals, both men and women ages country. How do you find balance? 23-45—an audience that is known, or notorious, among the media and government for being apahetic, Finding balance is probably the hardest thing fickle. Or reputed to be, at least. We, obviously, as a that we have to do, especially when you have a magazine disagree with that characterization. How do family and children, trying to make sure that you feel about it, and what do you feel is the government you don't neglect your parental responsibilities and media’s responsibility, or what actions can be taken, and at the same time carry out your to mobilize that up-and-coming demographic? responsibility to your constituents. I haven’t always handled it as well as I should, and I Well, there’s no doubt in my mind that young regret it. I’m pleased that my children have Americans are more willing to serve, and serve turned out very well, but that’s due to my wife's causes greater than themselves, than my parenting skills and dedication as opposed to generation was. And whenever they’ve been mine. called, they respond. And I don’t mean that they all join the Army or the Marine Corps. I How do you feel about being a crossover voter’s favorite mean that they volunteer, they give time, they candidate—rather, favorite politician? give money, they give effort, on behalf of causes, and we saw this recently after I'm flattered by it. With the independent voter Hurricane Katrina. So I think that Young we obviously do very well. But a lot of the Americans are grossly underestimated by many stuff is ephemeral, and you've got to be careful both in the political arenas as well as the not to read [your own press, or] listen to too media. many people that make you believe that you're extremely popular. Political popularity is very Our magazine’s second issue is “The Relationships ephemeral, and as long as you understand that, issue.” In your life you juggle some of the most then you can handle things more appropriately. I've seen too many politicians who read their By Igor Finkel and Jonathon Scott Feit 19 CCm corrections 11/22/05 11:15 AM Page 20
the CCM interview
own press clippings. I read ‘em, but don’t Do you think the country is developing in a direction believe 'em. where we'll be able to pay for that debt?
Besides making you a national hero, how did being a No, it’s getting worse. It’s getting worse all the Prisoner of War affect your politics? time as we run up these massive deficits.
The obvious: when I was deprived of America, We’re publishing an investigation into New York City's I grew to love her more. I grew to appreciate preparedness for the Olympics. [See page 86.] We the strength and beauty of the freedoms and know that you commissioned a report about Olympic the grandeur of our country. funding. Given the amount of money that was budgeted, and the degree of technology available, how If you weren’t in politics now, or never had gone in, do you stop the Lone Gunman? what would have been your alternate career choice? The only way you stop the Lone Gunman is to I’m sure I would have been in some kind of go where they’re bred, and that is in the streets public service, wehterer it be city councilman of the Middle East. The street corners of the or deputy sheriff or working at the Salvation Middle East, where young people, men are Army. It would have been something to do standing around with no hope, no job, no with public service. opportunity. They're taken by the extremists off the streets into the madrassas, funded by As the father of several up-and-coming Young Saudis—among others—and they’re taught to Professionals, what are your expectations of the hate and destroy and kill. demographic, politically, socially, economically, and culturally? How about in this country?
I think because of the information technology, In this country you do the best that you can. they have the greatest access to knowledge and But you’re never going to stop someone who's therefore success than anytime in history. At intent on doing something bad, over time, from the same time I worry about the fact that we getting into this country. That’s why we have are laying on them a massive multi-trillion to win in Iraq, and that’s why we have to bring dollar debt that they are going to have to pay democracy and freedom to the people of the for and we, because of our profligate behavior, Middle East. Without that you’ll have a have done them a gross injustice. continuous breeding ground for terrorism.
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JOHN BOLTON, THE U.S. A MBASSADOR TO THE United Nations, starts his day by kicking the first thing he sees. Today it’s the T.V., and he smiles as the pain shoots through his foot. He then goes into his bedroom where his wife is sleeping. John Bolton sleeps on the couch because his wife watches I Love Lucy reruns. John Bolton hates Lucy. He also hates his wife. “She doesn't get me,” he thinks, turning on the shower water to 343 degrees Fahrenheit. In the shower, John Bolton begins shaving with a freshly sharpened steak knife, watching himself intently in a fogless mirror he stole from a hitchhiker. Suddenly, the mirror comes loose and falls on his foot. He stomps on it, shattering glass across the shower. Putting the mirror back may have delayed him 43 seconds, and John Bolton has to get to the office at 4:29.17 every morning. After showering, John Bolton feels something he hasn't felt in years: refreshment. He goes to the bathroom sink, and with the mirror fogged, brushes his teeth. His mouth By Seth Reiss 21 CCm corrections 11/22/05 11:15 AM Page 22
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comes alive. It’s like he tastes toothpaste for the treats Ismael Gaspar Martins with respect. Last first time. “This is good,” he says, and time they met, John punched him in the mouth swallows. Then John Bolton wipes away the for looking at him funny. This time he steam on the mirror. He shrieks. He takes a embraces Ismael warmly. “You know, Ismael, moment to gather himself. “Keep it together, you're alright,” John says, offering him a blank John Bolton.” Taking another look, John check. Bolton sees a younger, more vibrant man As the day continues, John gives out more staring back at him. He almost smiles. That’s blank checks. By noon, however, he grows when he realizes: he mistakenly shaved off his irritable. He suppresses the urge to throw mustache. He looks at the shower’s drain and, things at people, but the checks he hands out amidst the blood and glass, sees his mustache, decrease in value. By 4:30, he gives a $10 still intact. He wants to grab the superglue, but check to Siberia, and almost breaks the something inside him says, “Leave it.” ambassador’s hand while they shake. Instead of putting on his customary black At 5 PM, Bolton's secretary walks into his suit, today John has the urge to go casual, to office and says, “John, the staff is ready for wear jeans. He still wears a collared shirt, but dinner.” (Earlier he promised to take everyone “accessorizes” with a lavender tie—a gift from out to Hard Rock Cafe). Bolton gently tosses the last secretary he fired. Before leaving the her a stapler, and, thinking her new friendly house, he looks at his wife, and does something boss is playing a game, she waits to catch it. surprising: he kisses her goodbye. Usually he Bolton then rifles a second stapler (the one screams into her ear, “Good morning, wife!!!” with the spike) at her face. “Don't ever talk to and then leaves. me unless I look like I want you to talk to me, John skips into the United Nations this you associate-degree-having wench!” As blood morning, humming a tune from Miss Saigon. mixes with tears, she leaves. John Bolton curses Then he puts out six-dozen Krispy Kreme at himself, and feels the need to wash his hands donuts for his staff. On the box is a note: with scalding hot water. “Compliments of John… You can call me He looks at his reflection in the bathroom John, now.” He greets his secretary and tells mirror. His mustache has returned, fuller than her how lovely she looks. She ducks to avoid an ever. open palm slap. At 9:30 AM, John meets with the U.N. ambassador from Angola. Instead of making snide Angola jokes—he knows them all—he
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A P H R O D I S I A
THE BATHTUB IS THE SILT-BOTTOM RIVER. THE DRESSING ROOM IS THE SUNBURNED BEACH THAT REJECTS BAREFOOT SOLES LIKE A WOK FULL OF HOT OIL FLICKS OUT A DROP OF WATER. AND THE TOILET, WELL, THAT’S ANYWHERE IN THE POISON IVY-INFESTED, BIGHORN SHEEP-INFLECTED WILDERNESS YOU CHOOSE, PROVIDED YOU HAVE A SHOVEL. CAMPING FOR A WEEK WHILE YOU’RE WHITEWATER RAFTING DOWN A FROTHY CONFECTION OF WATER NICKNAMED THE “RIVER OF NO RETURN,” I RECENTLY DISCOVERED, IS NOT FOR THE FAINT OF HEART—NOR FOR THE MODEST OF BODY.
But then, neither is childbirth, and I’ve only about one step away from piranhas, trees done that, too. Twice. So judging by my own with thorns in their bark and malaria. No track record, as soon as my memory of the camping, per se, but plenty of rusticity (the discomfort fades (though I’m quite sure the kerosene lamps and mosquito nets spring “toilet tent” is completely unforgettable), I’m readily to mind) to thoroughly chill the destined to camp at least once more. And I suburban soul. That first time, I didn’t know might even look forward to it. what I was getting into: namely, the jungle. If that’s the case, I’ll probably have to The second time around, seasoned veteran enlist the help of Salmon River Outfitters that I now am, I thought I knew what to again. I’ve already weathered two trips with expect. Then the guides explained about the this company of eminently capable tour “toilet tent.” guides, named for the body of water they The toilet tent is just what it sounds like: A careen down the most. The first journey was teepee-style hut that surrounds a portable to a lodge 110 miles away from electricity, but (non-chemical) toilet. It’s only used, as our
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on camping and childbirth
guide Rachel put it, for “number twos.” If simply frigid, especially as the sun begins to set you’re the first one to employ the toilet tent for over the Ponderosa pines. Grooming consists of its intended purpose, then I guess it’s not so a sponge bath from a bucket (no suds in the bad. I wouldn’t know. I was frequently—out of river to disturb the steelhead and sturgeon) pure reluctance—the last. while you’re still in the bathing suit you’ve So it took a bit of doing to get me off the worn all day. Even if you did have privacy, it’d river, where we sashayed through class II, III be difficult to give all your parts the attention and a few IV rapids every five minutes or so, they deserve. Publicly, few of us were brave and into the vicinity of the toilet tent. About enough to take more than a surreptitious swipe ten cases of wine, as a matter of fact. at the armpits—except for my friend Val, who Luckily, that’s the amount that Marco actually sat down on a convenient stump mid- DiGiulio brought along on our Wilderness week and shaved her legs, while two fellow Wine Tasting trip. The wine sat stashed in the travelers from Nebraska followed her cue. steel-gray depths of our six-person rafts, which Clearly, tent-living and birth-giving both lurched like camels on our way down the river. require sacrificing a portion of your hygienic DiGiulio, the winemaker for Girard Winery in habits, not to mention personal dignity— Napa as well as for a dozen regional boutique especially if you’re the girl who changed in the labels, including his own, was the guest closet at sleep-away camp, who wears a bra “expert” on the trip. Every night, he’d set up under her robe in the spa before a massage, happy hour while we bathed and pitched our and who asked the maternity nurse if she tents—easier said than done on broiling sand could keep her panties on until the baby under the watch of a record-breaking amount insisted upon crowning. It’s probably self- of yellowjackets. But the promise of Petite evident, but such a girl is also not one who is Syrah, poached salmon and pine nut-wild rice likely to have sex with her husband in an pilaf was enough to have me unrolling tarps, encampment full of strangers, no matter how staking tent flies and searching for the much Marco DiGiulio Diamond Mountain biodegradable shampoo at record speed. Cabernet Sauvignon she’s ingested. She is, Indeed, speedily is the only way one wants however, likely to refer to herself in the third to wash with Salmon River water, which is person, and/or have a hangover.
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Attended by rattlesnakes or gynecologists, eagles clearing the canyons any day, along with depending on your point of view, both the well-earned privilege of soaking in a camping and childbirth also seem at least a natural geo-thermally heated pool located little risky; one could leave with you a legacy of somewhere along the Main Fork. One needs a back pain, the other, a dubious immortality (if bit of caution at the latter, however: The hike you survive colic). Plus, even in the worst case up is a slippery one, and the sit-down, unless of denial, it’s impossible to pose glamorously accomplished one dimple at a time, is a cheek- or even feel particularly attractive while scalding one. Talk about a blush. engaged in one or the other. This is probably
It took a bit of doing to get me off the river... and into the vicinity of the toilet tent. About ten cases of wine, as a matter of fact.
why celebrities like Angelina Jolie adopt babies The same somewhat twisted Machiavellian from foreign orphanages, and stay in nearby reasoning applies, by the way, to the squished- resorts while they do so. up little piece of humanity you might someday Take away the wine and food, and why go decide, if you haven’t already, to create. Until camping? Well, for one thing, rafting and your 77th sleepless night, it really does feel like camping is really the only way to view the an accomplishment no one else but you could drama of this backcountry national park. And have achieved. In retrospect, you ability to sit if natural beauty were an extreme sport, then down and your sex life as you knew it came Idaho’s Salmon River canyons, the second- only the cost of your modesty. That’s some deepest in the country (the Grand Canyon is prize. actually third), would be winning ESPYs. I’d trade a humiliating view of my cellulite- dimpled backside for an intimate look at Bighorn sheep scaling the rocks and bald
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travel
THERE’S THE ONE WHERE THE WOMAN THROWS Bluffed by you her baby and you have no choice but to catch it and when you do she grabs your wallet and runs. There’s the one where a moneychanger adds another zero to your withdrawal and keeps the extra money for BALI himself. I have heard about all kinds of scams. I was in Kuta on Bali less than a day when a man approached me on the street and started a conversation. When he found out I was from America, he was thrilled. He had a daughter moving to Miami to go to med school. He asked me some questions about life there: cost of living, transportation, weather. Then he asked me to go with him to meet his daughter in Denpasar, twenty minutes away. I didn’t have time, I told him. It won’t take much time, he said. He just wanted me to tell her about the U.S.. I’ve found myself in the position of moving to a strange place where I would have liked someone to tell me some things about the place. Plus, I would get the chance to see actual Balinese life, rather than the surf shops that line every corner in Kuta. I said I would go, but to be safe I told him I had to be back in an hour and a half to meet my friends. I got in his new SUV. There were three others already in the car: Two other daughters whom I sat between in the backseat and a driver of about twenty years old. The
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daughter on my right took control of all conversation because she spoke the best English. They asked quite a bit about me— They where I was from, the weather there, my age, why I didn’t have a girlfriend when I was so prey handsome. They were friendly, and laughed a lot. on Theyyour They had a good-sized, modern place, with wood floors and high ceilings. There was quite a bit of work being done on the house: courage walls being painted, plastic everywhere, wires preyand visible in some places. There was very little furniture, and some rooms were completely onturn youryou empty, but everything was new and clean. I sat down in the family room and everyone disappeared. After a few minutes, the father courageinto what returned with his brother-in-law, who I will forever remember as Spider. He was tall, andyou skinny and had an overgrown moustache that hugged his lip. turn you Spider asked me a few questions about the despise. U.S. cost of living, transportation, weather. “My niece is moving to Florida,” he said, and into then changed the subject. “Have you ever been to Las Vegas?” he asked. what “I’ve been there many times.” He asked about my gambling skills, knowledge, and how the casinos are run there. Spider then asked if you I won. He seemed disappointed when I said, “Yes, I usually do,” which I admit is more despise about being lucky than being Johnny Chan.
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He said that he was a casino dealer on a cruise win tens of thousands of dollars, and only tip ship. I asked which one. He didn’t expect the him afterwards a couple of hundred. He question, and answered quickly, which I think wanted to take her for some money. Not rob he later regretted. “The Star Princess,” he her blind, but if he took her for fifty grand or said, and showed me his I.D. card without so it would mean nothing to her. She bet thinking. I had been on the Star Princess hundreds of thousands every time she played.
What in the hell had just happened? What kind of Balinese life had I just witnessed?
about six months before on a trip to Alaska, He said that if someone like me sat at the table and started asking him questions about it. with her, he would be able to stack the deck so Avoiding the subject, he said I was lucky to I would win. If it were a family member or have met him. There are two types of people another Indonesian, she would know the gig. I in a casino, he told me. There is the little guy, looked around, and there was still no sign of like the two of us, and then there is the high the daughter. roller. The casinos don’t care about the little We went into the back room with the guy. They make their money from the high father and the flirty sister. It was a small bare roller. He told me about a woman from room with just a bed at one end and a small Macao named Miss Lee, who lived in table at the other end with plastic seats. We sat Singapore. Miss Lee was a high roller. He told down and he got out his cards and showed me me how rude and greedy she was. She would his tricks. He gave me any card he wanted
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without being obvious. He could stack the We began to play. Spider dealt me a seven deck quickly and quietly. He explained to me and a four. When it was my turn to hit, he how to beat Miss Lee. We would play folded his hands, and I hit. Twenty-one. I was blackjack. Whenever there was a ten or face in. She kept throwing money in the pot and I card next he would fold his hands. With just a kept matching her. We turned the cards over, little bit of money, we could rake in tens of and what do you know, I won. I had about thousands of dollars in just a few minutes. He $2000 worth of chips now. would give me ten percent for helping. What The next hand came. He folded his hands he kept would go a long way in Bali. He asked again. I couldn’t believe she didn’t notice. I if, in the heat of the moment, I could be cool had twenty and passed. She busted. I had and calm. I said of course. I would be just like about $3000. we were then. Cool. Miss Lee was irritated that I kept betting That was before Miss Lee came in the small amounts, a few hundred dollars at a room. It was all just fantasy to me until that time. “This amount of money is nothing to point; I had no idea he meant here and now. me,” she said several times. I won several more She came to play Mah Jong, she said. Others hands and was up about $5000. She didn’t were to be arriving shortly. I thought it was win once. How lucky I was, they both kept strange that high stakes games were being saying. played in this tiny back bedroom with The next hand, she went all in. I had temporary furniture, but didn’t ask any twenty-one, so I knew I couldn’t lose. She said questions. Spider told her that I was there that because I didn’t have enough money to playing blackjack, and that the money from the match her bet, she won. Spider said that he practice game, $400 in chips, was still on the would front me the money, and with some table. I was staying in Bali for a while and hesitation she agreed. I now had ten grand. wanted to buy a car from him. I was a wealthy She then traded in another, even bigger wad of American who owned a large apple farm in cash. the Midwest. She agreed to play a few hands The next hand I again had twenty-one, before the other Mah Jong players came. She and she had twenty. She went all in again, handed him a big wad of cash, and he gave about fifteen grand. Again, I was short. When her a stack of chips that dwarfed mine. Not Spider offered to front me, she said she wanted knowing what to do, I went along with it. to see the cash. Spider and I went in the other room to chat. He asked if I had any money on
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me to show her. I told him I didn’t have think at that point he thought I knew it was a anything. He made some calls and told me he scam, although he wouldn’t admit it. I told him was trying to find some money to borrow that that there was no way I was going to the ATM, we could use. He couldn’t. He asked if I had a and if I had to I would run in that room, grab credit card. I hesitated, but said yes. He said if my camera and run out without saying a word. I showed her that, maybe she would be He started using his cell, and I thought he satisfied. I told him beforehand that there was might be trying to secure some money from no way I would leave the card with her, that I somewhere else. I went back in the room and had little money to begin with. He swore on sat down. Miss Lee told me that I was pushing his kids that he wouldn’t let that happen, and her around, and must not have a good hand. to trust him. We went back in the room and She talked trash while I sat there, embarrassed, showed her the card. She wouldn’t accept it. waiting for Spider to come back in. There were still no med school daughter or When he finally came back in, he said that any Mah Jong players. I forfeited the hand, so she won the pot. The Before I left the room, we put each of our father said we should go. Spider stopped me cards in separate, sealed envelopes locked in a and asked if I could leave any money for the safe under the bed. She also wanted some driver for waiting all this time. “No,” I told guarantee that I would be back. I agreed to him. leave my camera in the safe, as long as I could “Maybe just $50 dollars or something?” hold on to the key. “Not a chance,” I told him. Spider and the father tried to take me to “Anything?” the ATM, but I told him that I wasn’t going. I He was pathetic. I gave him about $5 admit there were moments that I was tempted worth of Rupiah and walked outside. to go. I mean, I couldn’t have lost the card When I got back in the car, the people hand. Then Spider said he wanted me to get who drove me there were as talkative and jolly just some of the money, $4000-$5000, and he as they were on the first ride. The father would be able to get the rest. I told him I have apologized for his brother, saying that wasn’t a limit of $100 per day on my account. It his intention for bringing me there. He also wouldn’t even let me withdraw that much if I apologized for his daughter never showing up, tried. though I was never given a reason why. I told him I felt like I was the one being Seconds later they were laughing, telling jokes, scammed. He said I shouldn’t feel that way. I and asking me about my travels.
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walked up. “The same thing happened to me. I’d come to In Bangkok.” I couldn’t believe it. He actually didn’t Bali looking look all that different from me: not rich, but dressed nicely and at least enough money to travel to Southeast Asia. I asked him a few for something questions about his experience. The exact same thing happened: the same signals, the same order. There were different people who exotic, organized it, and he had played against a man, but otherwise it was a textbook scam. He fell and I’d gotten for it as far as the ATM. He withdrew his limit, which was a few hundred dollars, and was told it. that some dangerous people needed the money when he got back to the table or everyone would be hurt. As traumatizing as it was, I admit it was It happened in less than two hours. I the cleverest scam I’ve ever been involved in. spent the rest of the evening bewildered, They made me become a part of them; that’s unsure of what to do. I wrote down every why it almost worked. They prey on your detail. Was it a scam? What if it wasn’t and I courage and turn you into what you despise. had cost some poor family their well-being? If It’s the same all over the world. it wasn’t a scam, why did they let me go? I didn’t leave my room all night. I couldn’t. I didn’t know what was out there. I’d come to Bali looking for something exotic, and I’d gotten it. A few weeks later, I was at a rooftop bar in Chiang Mai, chatting with a few people there. I began to tell the story of the card game. Only a few minutes into it, a British guy
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global focus MURDER IN MONGOLIA
A DEAD DOG’S SOCIETY
THE DOG KILLER'S OFFICE IS IN A SQUALID PART of town. An understatement, since the town in question is Ulaan Baatar, capitol of Mongolia, one of the world's poorest countries. Set among rusty cars and derelict machinery, the three-story office building has broken windows and no paint; it looks like a slum, not a government office. Many parts of Ulaan Baatar look similar, with only the addition of children playing in the dirt and stray dogs prowling the garbage. But here, neither people nor animals can be found on the half-paved streets. The taxi driver shakes his head. “Are you sure you want to come to this place?” he asks
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me through Manda, my translator. “I don’t Neither kennels nor city pounds exist in think this office shows off my city at its best.” Mongolia. This country is too poor for such We ask him to wait for us—we would be no luxuries. The World Bank—which partly more than an hour—and go inside for our supports the economy—does not have the dog appointment with the chief dog killer of Ulaan population of Mongolia at the top of its Baatar, the person responsible for the deaths of priority list. Instead, Nuuts Company 17,000 dogs a year. eliminates the dogs in the most direct, cost- For the last four years, Mr. D. Naran has efficient way: they shoot them. Not Mr. Naran held the post of general director of Nuuts personally, but the four teams of hunters Company, Ltd., the government agency contracted by him to do the work. responsible for health, natural resources, and Each team consists of a driver and a sanitation in the capital. A pleasant-faced man marksman, who are paid 1,200 togruks, or with sparkling eyes and a gentle smile, he takes about $1.07 U.S. dollars, for every dog they kill seriously his responsibility to eliminate the if they provide their own transportation. If city's stray and wild dogs which carry rabies, they use a city vehicle, the team gets 1,000 plague, foot-and-mouth disease, and worms. togruks per dog. “They must cut off the noses Rabies and plague are unusually widespread in of the dogs and bring them to us as proof in Mongolia. order to be paid,” explains Mr. Naran In other countries, such as Romania, wild earnestly. “Then the bodies are brought by the dogs pose a more direct threat to people, but hunters to a community burial place.” that is not the case here. “We had 300 reported This system removes 17,000 dogs per year, cases of dog attacks last year,” says Mr. Naran, but it does not solve the problem of Ulaan “but most of these were done by pets or Baatar ‘s strays. There are 70,000 dogs in former pets rather than street-smart dogs, who Ulaan Baatar, according to government shy away from people.” estimates, 20,000 of which are household pets, Stray dogs are abundant in Mongolia; and the remaining 50,000 are strays. Of the they stalk the streets of Ulaan Baatar and latter, about 10,000 are female. Since females prowl the countryside. Still, humans have little reproduce twice a year, with an average of five to fear; the dogs seem terrified of close human puppies born and two surviving with every contact. Skinny and starving, they sometimes litter, 20,000 new strays hit the streets of the risk proximity for a small handout, but capital each year, and this does not take into Mongolians often throw rocks or sticks at them. account strays from other sources, such as
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global focus
unwanted pets or new arrivals from the money.” Still, the job of dog-hunter is not a countryside. The government estimates that highly respected position. 3,000 of these 20,000 new dogs are female, To gain popular support, Nuuts tries and they continue to reproduce. new strategies. He points out the problems “If we could, we would increase the posed by the growing number of strays number of hunters and kill all 50,000+ strays,” through television and newspapers. Ulaan admits Mr. Naran, “but we don’t have the Baatar's under-financed, overburdened, and funds. So the dog population continues to inadequate infrastructure struggles to cope grow every year.” with the influx in population resulting from He also has a problem finding hunters people migrating to the city over the past forty these days. Killing animals is not looked upon years. Disease-bearing stray animals favourably in Mongolia, a Buddhist country. exacerbate the demands made on the city’s In fact, dogs have an especially elevated status health care services. Moreover, an increasing and play an important role in the nomadic life number of foreigners bringing their own dogs of the Mongolian steppes, so much so that the and selling the puppies further complicate the standard greeting for entering a ger is “Nokhoi problem as the aggressive blood of German khar,” which literally means, “Hold the dog.” shepherds and pit bulls, among others, now In addition, Mongolia’s indigenous dogs mingles with indigenous breeds. frighten wolves with their loud barks, not a Many country people bring their dogs to small virtue in a land where almost two-thirds the city, increasing the dog population. They of the population lives in felt-covered tents. arrive without an occupation or residency and The interaction between the hunters and must leave their dogs to the streets. While the community is often tense. As loyal pets, suckling, puppies may remain in homes, but dogs receive much respect from the people. To once they need more than milk for avoid dangerous encounters with angry nourishment, they are tossed out onto the community members, the hunting squads streets. must go out at 3:00 AM, when most people are “People don't want to kill puppies so they asleep. “Our hunters tend to run in families leave them out and it is up to me to kill them,” because few others want to do it,” notes Mr. says Mr. Naran sadly. “I am a Buddhist but I Naran. “We need to offer them good money, have to bear the sins of others.” and 200,000 togruks per month, which is what Yet Mongolia is not the worst sinner when hunters can earn if they are efficient, is good it comes to dog extermination. The United
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States puts to death more dogs each year— between 6 and 10 million, depending on the source—than the entire canine populations of Mongolia and dog-crazy France put together. America’s victims include both strays and pets given up voluntarily by their owners. Unlike Mongolia, the U.S. has the economic resources to implement a more enlightened policy. Largely, though, it doesn't: People don't want stray dogs can be put to death within days of arriving at a municipal pound, and pets surrendered by their owners can be killed the to kill puppies so same day. The number of “no kill” shelters is growing, but not as fast as the canine they leave them out population. In part, however, the American approach is and it is up to me enlightened, with its emphasis on neutering all shelter animals. In the long run, sterilization is more practical and economical than killing, to kill them. I am a which proves to be an insufficient means of bringing dog births and deaths into Buddhist but I have equilibrium. The Catch-22 of Ulaan Baatar to bear the sins of underscores this dilemma. If you have 10,000 female dogs and manage to kill 5,000, the other 5,000 now have a better situation with more others. food and less competition; hence, they will reproduce more efficiently than before. In cold-blooded terms, the solution is either to kill all the dogs, or to sterilize the females. Mongolia doesn't have the money to do either. “Right now we are discussing
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sterilization of females as an alternative can't take in the puppies, so pups are left solution,” notes Mr. Naran. Currently no abandoned on roadsides and end up under females are sterilized, not even pets. “We are cars or prey for larger animals or simply starve seeking voluntary services and voluntary to death. What is more humane?” veterinarians to help us,” he continues. “We Mongolia tries to be humane about its can't think of any other answer. Money is the harsh extermination policy. The hunters are problem. We are doing research in Western not supposed to bother pet dogs. If they do European countries but the cost is too high for kill a pet by accident, an owner can take the the solutions we found there.” hunter to court and make him pay 500,000 Italy and France, for example, have togruks compensation, a very large fine in national “no kill” policies in their municipal Mongolia. To make sure that pet dogs are dog shelters. Once a dog enters a shelter, it identifiable as such, they must wear collars at stays until adoption or death from natural all times. The dogs must also have muzzles causes. Neither country, however, makes it a and leashes when walked by their owners. regular practice to sterilize dogs in shelters. But greed sometimes gets the best of good Some only sterilize the females, some the intentions. Out of Mr. Naran's earshot, largest, and others the most aggressive males. Manda tells me about a dog her older brother Europe’s “enlightened” laws are flawed in had brought home some years ago. The dog other ways as well. Dr. Carlo Cheroni, a became part of the family, and there was veterinarian and private kennel owner living always someone looking out for him, not near Milan, Italy, points out that the municipal difficult to arrange in a family with nine pound in his area was designed to hold 100 children. When her father died, Manda’s dogs but now holds 300. “Obviously none of mother and the entire family were away for a the dogs is living in acceptable conditions,” he day at the funeral. The dog was tied up in says. “It used to be that when the pound got their fenced-in yard. When they returned too full, it would choose the oldest, weakest, home, the dog and rope were gone and there sickest dogs to eliminate so it had room to take were tracks of something being dragged, with in newly-born puppies, the ones with the best traces of blood in the dirt. Unscrupulous chance of being adopted.” hunters had seen an easy way to help them Shaking his head, he admits, “This wasn't earn another 1,000 togruks, so they had killed an easy decision, but a humane one, all things the dog. The mother had gone to the local considered. Now the kennels are so full they
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authorities to complain, but nothing ever came of it. But the line between greed and pragmatism can be blurry. Mr. Naran asks if I would like to see his latest project. He proudly poses for me in dog fur coat, hat and boots, while telling me lovingly about his own dog, a crossbreed he has had for ten years. Last year he had the idea of skinning the dead dogs he is obliged to kill, and using their fur to make coats, boots, hats, and blankets. “Since we have the fur, why not use it?” he enthuses. “These clothes will keep people warm. Hunters should love them!” One could contemplate whether the money brought in through this project might be put aside for a sterilization program, a more humane and more efficient solution to this problem. Or one might wonder why the world's animal lovers are up in arms over Romanian strays, but have never donated a dollar, euro, yen or hour’s worth of veterinary support to Mongolia. “Hold the dog,” they say, evoking the deep, millennia-old bond between man and dog in Mongolia. Yet the advent of the modern city has shaken that bond, putting man and his best friend at odds. How will Mongolia's canine dilemma end? In all likelihood, with the bang of a rifle, and with a whimper. corrections 11/22/05 11:15 AM Page 38
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IDIOT I C N
KEVIN L. HOOVER IS A WRITER WHO V makes me want to make up create adjectives to describe him—words that E have nothing to do with vacuums or the N Depression such as “Hooverian,” “Hoovertacular,” “Hooverheaded,” and T “Hooverlicious.” CR I MES
Sadly, my neologisms can hardly match the V gusto of the man; they don’t quite have the Hooverian flavor. To have a true Hoover-gasm, we’re going to have to go to the man himself, E who has broadened (or ruined) my vocabulary with these and other words that cannot aid your Scrabble career or be found in the Oxford English Dictionary: “aggro-goofitude,” “arfative,” “booze-woozed,” “co-yelled,” “dumpstermeister,” “eco-grooviliciousness,” “excrete-o-matic,” “ex-opossum,” “hooliganmobile,” “intoxicatress,” “intra- hobo,” “multi-hairball,” “numbskullian,” “peesome,” “piejacking,” “reeky-creepy,” By Mark Peters 39 CCm corrections 11/22/05 11:15 AM Page 40
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You don’t have to be famous (like President George W. Bush’s “misunderestimate”), infamous (like Justin Carlin to notice that Timberlake’s “wardrobe malfunction”), humorous (like Shaquille O’Neil’s “horri- the euphemization (or awful”) or totally under the radar (like “cake- dar,” a word I made up to indicate a keen, is that euthanization?) cake-detecting sense I possess in abundance). Though neology is normal, most speakers and writers don’t coin words with the reckless ... marches on, one abandon of Saddam Hussein scarfing Doritos. Hoover is the exception. In reading both his polite or preposterous books, plus hundreds of individual police logs he’s put online, I’ve counted almost 300 words life at a time. that I’ve never seen anywhere else, and I’m sure as sugar I haven’t recorded them all. So why does he do it? Does Hoover—or anyone—really need words like “dank-o- “reverse-enjoyed,” “scroungeloid,” and matic” and “cop-attractant”? Let’s take a “turdectomy,” to name a few. detour before answering that question. These words were all invented by Hoover, * * * * the founder, publisher, editor, janitor and Unfortunately, not all new words are as juicy batshit-loopy police log writer for The Arcata and welcome as “hissysnit” or “defecreation.” Eye. His work has been collected in two self- You don’t have to be George Carlin to notice published books, The Police Log and Police Log 2: that the euphemization (or is that The Nimrod Imbroglios. There’s a lot to say about euthanization?) of life marches on, one polite Hoover’s stuff, which has inspired a cult or preposterous lie at a time. In a world where following, of which I am a Kool-Aid-swilling genocides are “humanitarian situations,” member. Since I am also a word nerd, the first religious programs are “faith-based initiatives,” thing I noticed is that the man is a world total fabrications are “badly-sourced stories,” champion word-maker-upper—a neologizer. and murder suspects are “persons of interest,” Inventing words is no great trick in itself; there aren’t many writers or civilians willing to everyone does it, whether the results are call a weirdo a weirdo.
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Then there’s Hoover, who absolutely Let’s look at Hoover’s tricks: he starts by delights doing just that. With the same energy playing with the word “blurred,” then segues he brings to new-word creation, he stuffs an into some dramatic-sounding diction. “They old insult is stuffed full of new life: who populate Ninth and H streets day and December 9, 2000 7:12 AM. A night” is a subtly ridiculous way of labeling reported weirdo on the Plaza couldn’t be loiterers, reminiscent of archaic, elegant talk found, or at least singled out. like Shakespeare’s “They that have power to February 21, 2001 2:58 PM. Weirdo hurt and will do none.” Hoover then takes on alert at a downtown office building. a straightforward, serious tone (“A concerned July 21, 2001 1:55 AM. A weirdo versus motorist reported her progress through the shed showdown on St. Louis Road ended, as intersection hampered”) to lower our defenses usual, in utter humiliation for the inanimate before finishing this entry offclosing with a object. surprising and apt metaphor (“human Drano”) In his weekly Police Log column, Hoover and alliteration (“hirsute habitués,” “collective celebrates, mocks, and yes, reports on the clog”). lawbreakers and nuisance-makers of Arcata, This shifting of register, diction, and California. Some entries, much like the technique is not unlike the poet John Ashbery’s previous three, employ a blunt minimalism: bizarre and multi-voiced work, which has been August 7, 1999 2:02 AM. Nimrods known to channel philosophers and Popeye. pounded on the outside walls of a Plaza tavern Speaking of poetry, Hoover dabbles there too: for nimrod purposes. November 13, 2001 1:05 PM. Other entries mix several humor styles and A man at the front counter said literary techniques: An antenna’d been placed in his head November 6, 2000 11:38 AM. The Is it yours? he asked cops distinction between sidewalk and street And with that, wandered off blurred, along with every other aspect of To get back, one would hope, on his consciousness, for they who populate Ninth meds. and H streets day and night. A concerned * * * * motorist reported her progress through the Jeffrey Moussaieff Masson and other writers intersection hampered, and an officer acted as have claimed that the med-muddled, fear- human Drano on the hirsute habitués, flavored, worry-tinged lives of people are removing the collective clog. emotionally lacking compared to the deeply
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argument. The humans agreed to just stay away from each other; the dogs gazed at the antics of the respective god-like masters with unquestioning love and devotion. Just as the perspective of the above entry moves from human to dog, sometimes the focus shifts to an even smaller (though perhaps equally cute) entity: July 13, 1995 8:40 AM. A woman reported her residence having been pelted by strawberries, but no permanent structural damage was traced to the fruity impacts. Strawberries, the edible fruit of temperate herbs of the genus Fragaria, are enlarged pulpy receptacles bearing numerous externally mounted seeds, and form the basis of many popular summertime dessert treats. For that entry, Hoover varied his routine by throwing in a (verbatim?) dictionary definition, but sometimes the best way to get felt lives of dogs. One of Hoover’s many dog- inside a situation—and the reader’s head—is related entries doesn’t contradict the idea that with questions: canines are our emotional superiors: October 9, 2001 9:17 AM. What March 24, 2002 4:31 PM. A doggie- towering illogic, what overarching cluelessness, derived showdown on Wisteria Way, where an what fantastical construct of utter self-delusion unleashed pooch pitted neighbors against each led a camera owner to place a shiny object on other. It poops in neighbors’ yards, a man a Plaza bench and expect it to remain complained, and when he told the owner, she unmolested for more than, say, a second? reportedly took a swing at him, knocking his June 29, 2000 5:88 PM. Imagine the hat off. She later admitted that her dogs ran creep-out factor: A resident of the 1600 block onto his lawn, but claimed that he had his dogs of 11th Street went over to her car and found attack her dogs, and that was what started the the door opened and the inside rummaged
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through. What scaly, wraithlike hands had “depth of tolerance which means people can passed over her stuff ? get away with a lot of things, including (his) August 21, 2000 8:09 AM. Do they own literary abuses.” never learn? Arcata, which is about 275 miles north of What wraithlike hands, indeed? What San Francisco (though closer in spirit), is home towering illogic? Goats and monkeys! to Humboldt State University, a Community One more question presents itself: self- Forest that is at the forefront of ultra- publication aside, how does Hoover get away sustainable harvesting, a population of about with this stuff ? 17,000 people, and a forgiving, tolerant * * * * sensibility that suffuses it all. Two Bush- I’ve never been to Arcata, CA, but after years related actions by the city council should of reading Hoover’s work, I have a better provide give you a sense of local politics: a mental picture of this town than many places 1991 resolution declared Arcata a sanctuary I’ve actually visited or called home. for Gulf War resistors, and a 2004 resolution According to Hoover, many of his non- demanded the impeachment of George W. Arcadian readers feel this way, and even Bush and Dick Cheney. though this feeling is a delusion, it’s a strong While most political scenes feature liberal one. In my Hoover-influenced brain, I can see versus conservative showdowns, the battle lines the statue of William McKinley in the Plaza— in Arcata are drawn between “liberal and with cheese up its nose and all manner of liberal-er,” as Hoover puts it. For example, dress. I can see the scroungeloids, the there’s recently been a division in the town punklings, the Fun Bunch World Head- over a Homeless Services Task Force. One side quarters, and the innocent passerbys spare- of the debate says aid should be given on the changed or harassed; the yap-happy dogs and basis of folks “bootstrapping themselves” and negligent dog-owners with consonant-rich taking some initiative to improve their lot. vocabularies. And I can see and hear (though, The other side believes aid should be given fortunately, not smell) all of this through some even if the homeless people do nothing at all of the funniest, wittiest prose this side of David save show up in Hoover’s log occasionally. Sedaris, Dan Savage, or Hunter S. Thompson. In most of this country—and probably all It’s no accident that Hoover’s Police Log the media—the idea that people deserve food, blossomed in Arcata, a compassionate, medical care, and respect,. just because they’re, contrarian town that, as Hoover says, has a you know, people has pretty much evaporated.
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But not in Arcata. The compassion that the brain-numbingly repetitive nature of the allowings longtime transients and Police Log subject matter. characters such aslike Pete (also known as “The Clearly, the Police Log would not work as Ragman,” “Rags,” and “Raggedy Pete”) to humor—or anything else—if not for rule continue doing their thing also allows a writer number one. Without rule number two, there like Hoover to do his thing. would be no value to the writing at all. Rule * * * * number three leads to some very subtle entries Does Hoover—or anyone—really need words that just hint at the dirty deeds, while almost like “dank-o-matic” and “cop-attractant”? breaking rule number two: What is this world coming to? If Hoover can September 8, 2001 12:18 AM. One get away with describing a “one-chick man’s ceiling is another man’s floor in the 600 juggernaut” and a “two-dingbat flash mob of block of 14th street. taxicab-pounders,” what’s next? Are there no May 3, 2002 12:28 PM. If only people standards anymore? could know they were going to stay together or Actually, Hoover has explicit standards not before they procreate. for his police log, or at least guiding principles Rule number four explains the hundreds of that provide an internal logic. According to neologisms Hoover has been creating and I’ve the logger himself, these principles (arbitrarily been collecting, as well as the bazillion other numbered by me) are: techniques he uses to liven up his log. Crimes involving injury, molestation, Case in point: bongos, the people who play children in jeopardy, child abuse, and other them too loud, and the other people who go serious issues will not be included. postal as a result all attract police attention in All items must tell the reader what Arcata a little more than constantly. As a result, happened, and any given listing should be just Hoover has had to write more about bongos as informative as a dryly told story. than any one man should. Here’s a On the other hand, some parts of the story characteristic bongo-related entry: should be left out—not for the sake of taste, October 25, 1999 1:55 AM. Bongo but for the sake of art. Like an old-time radio magic enlivened/degraded the quality of life in show, it’s best to leave something to the the 800 block of Ninth Street. imagination. Unlike the “bongoists” and “bongo pilots,” There should be as little repetition of who seem to seldom if ever vary their routine, jokes, phrases, and imagery as possible, despite Hoover incessantly plays with language to keep
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himself and his readers entertained, coining journalism has to offer. In fact, he may even be terms such as “bongo vibes,” “bongo an antidote to the twisted version of merriment,” “bongo brouhaha,” “bongo journalistic balance that prevails today. This crisis,” “bongo attack,” bongo barrage,” balance is generally achieved, for example, by “bongo flagellation,” “bongo atrocity”—and a journalist quoting one expert who says the my favorite—“bongo horror.” earth is round and one loonball who says the Hoover says that he will sometimes stare at earth is shaped like a taco (which in turn, an item from the dispatcher log—the computer resembles the Virgin Mary). The pro-tacoists printouts with skeletal descriptions that form and the anti-tacoists are given priority seating the raw material of his writing—for forty-five on the teeter-totter of journalism, creating— minutes or more, looking for an new approach voila!—“balance.” This approach spares that satisfies his disciplined drive for journalists from using any kind of common innovation. He doesn’t always succeed: if you sense (or neurological equipment) while read Hoover every week, you’ll find some duds wearing the mask of objectivity and enabling that don’t make it into his books. As he says, kooks and liars to appear respectable. Hoover “Some weeks lend themselves to wordplay has another idea: why not the truth? better than others. Some weeks it’s not Feeling that the people he covers are inspired.” “neither noble savages nor above mockery,” Even with the duds (and just maybe Hoover believes that “being honest means because of them) Hoover is like a haiku master being unsparing.” His approach reminds me who cranks out 1000 distinct haiku about the very much of a passage from Hunter S. same frogs and cherry blossoms. That is, if you Thompson’s great essay on the death of replaced the frogs with stolen tip jars and the Nixon: cherry blossoms with inadequately concealed “Some people will say that words like scum bags of pot. and rotten are wrong for Objective Journalism * * * * —which is true, but they miss the point. It was To some, Hoover seems like an anti-Christ-ish the built-in blind spots of the Objective rules barbarian who (perhaps inspired by his subject and dogma that allowed Nixon to slither into matter) makes weekly urine donations a cause the White House in the first place. He looked for objective journalism. I, however, believe so good on paper that you could almost vote Hoover represents an honest and ethical for him sight unseen. He seemed so all- impulse that is entirely consistent with the best American, so much like Horatio Alger, that he
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was able to slip through the cracks of It didn’t surprise me at all when Hoover Objective Journalism. You had to get said he subscribes to the “Frank Zappa theory Subjective to see Nixon clearly, and the shock of audience gratification.” Zappa’s concerts of recognition was often painful.” were chock-full o’ musical references that Of course, few of Hoover’s subjects are maybe only one person at a show might capable of Nixon-level evil. As Hoover writes recognize—but for that one person, Zappa in the Author’s Note to his latest collection: might as well have been selling crack. Hoover’s “Keep in mind too that most of the perps here logs are full of such tiny references and aren’t really bad people. Given that they’ve momentary allusions, but I can see even more
October 25, 1999 1:55 a.m. Bongo magic enlivened/degraded the quality of life in the 800 block of Ninth Street.
chosen to direct their might and main to the Zappa influence on Hoover: both bring pursuit of, say, a frosty forty from a mini-mart, intelligence and humor together in a giddy true evil is probably a bit beyond their hellbroth of high, low, and sideways art. budget.” It’s also worth noting that the scale of Most significantly, like Zappa, Hoover Hoover’s writing is much smaller than doesn’t believe that the lowness of humor is Thompson’s. And yet, the passion for truth, the low at all. “Humor is underrated as an giddy humor, the taste for the ludicrous, and emotion,” says Hoover. “I’ve never understood the unflinching commitment to real journalism the artificial barrier between humorous and mark these two as literary brothers. serious. In popular music and culture, if you * * * * have humor, it’s not considered serious, but the Sometimes honesty is the most humorous first way people bond is to make a joke.” Given policy too. the way people use humor as a primary of way of relating to each other and everything else in
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the world, Hoover wonders why it should be it is so plentiful, is the basic building block of denied in “good” work. the universe. I dispute that. I say there is more The truth is that humor is never denied in stupidity than hydrogen, and that is the basic good work, like Thompson’s, Zappa’s, building block of the universe.” By painting Groening’s, Shakespeare’s, or Beckett’s. It’s everyday stupidity and self-destructiveness in only the sphincter-clenching school of art— such fine detail, week after week, year after with the largest and lamest enrollment in the year, and weirdo after weirdo, Hoover actually, world—that squelches the funny stuff. in a way, honors the weirdoes and bongos and * * * * the common world and impulses we may not Hoover is very modest about what he does, want to share, but do. claiming only to know what works and what I know some days my booze-bubble rolls doesn’t. He compares his writing skill to his me precariously close to a clue-challenged dabblings in visual art, where he may erase huff-and-bicker spiral, and that my stupidity- half or more of a picture, but can identifty and based antics only reverse-charm my friends preserve the lines that work. As if that were a and neighbors. Folks, that’s the human small thing. If only more writers had the same condition, and it’s just about the biggest talent. weirdo-infestation on record. You can read all Hoover may not think his writing is great, it about every week at www.arcataeye.com, but he will admit that his work is about what where you can also order Hoover’s two books. all great writers are concerned with: the riddle of humanity. We’ve probably all asked ourselves, “Why is there war?” though we may not have bothered our minds about a theft victim, “What scaly, wraithlike hands had passed over her stuff ?” Hoover believes that the scuffles, obscenities, and misunderstandings he immortalizes are a microcosm of huger, self- destructive tendencieses—these are the same issues on a vastly different scale. Hoover’s kindred spirit Frank Zappa famously said, “Some scientists claim that hydrogen, because
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Phantom of Havana: hysterics. They paid no attention to the withered Cuban in the bed by the door or the The forgotten legacy of young woman kneeling by his side. Fuentes was C. J. Fuentes forty-nine. I can't help but wonder if the great Cuban By Emmanuel Boriz dreamer recognized something in the boy's The American Revue, story that neither his parents nor the doctors December 3, 20- were able to detect. He must have known that the end was near, and yet Rosa insists that he clung to every detail he could mine from the C. J. FUENTES DIED TODAY IN NEW YORK, JUST stifled conversation. I find this less strange than hours before a plane was due to rocket him she does; after all, I don't think Fuentes ever back to Havana, where he could die among his conceived a character who was particularly countrymen. His wife, Rosa, who had not left defeated by death, and in the end he must have his side in three days, had gone down the hall been immune to that fear as well. in search of coffee when his heart abruptly We can find as good an example as any in stopped. His only companion in the last the last story in Sueños, the first of two slim seconds of his life was a fifteen-year-old boy collections that comprise the bulk of his from Queens who had stolen his mother's car published work. The story, “La Hiena,” is an in a fit of rage and shattered five vertebrae account of an afternoon in the life of when he swerved off the road. We can only Francesca, whose unnamed son is about to seek imagine what it was he jerked the wheel to out his older sister in the resistance. As he is avoid; the boy has not woken. leaving, she says: Fuentes drifted in and out of consciousness for days after the surgery, but when awake he Some day soon you will be walking along a was keenly interested in the boy's story, beaten street, thinking your rebellious straining to listen while, across the curtain, the thoughts, and suddenly you will notice that boy's parents spoke to the doctors in low for some time now you have been dead, a By Chris Wilson 50 Citizen Culture corrections 11/22/05 11:15 AM Page 51
* * * * C. J. Fuentes first disappeared at the age of eighteen, immediately after publishing a series of satiric poems in the magazine La Abeja. He had left his childhood home in Cienfuegos two years before to join the opposition to the Post- Castro regime, and slowly became more entangled in the rebellion. For the next fourteen years he lived out mere wraith among the thousands of a half-existence in Havana, aiding the wraiths who pace that terrible city. You resistance as he could and moving constantly will pause to ponder this strange turn of as, one-by-one, his friends disappeared. A letter events, suddenly out of breath for you he wrote to his sister shortly before the poems have not been breathing for days. And you were published was his last correspondence will wonder who else among you has fallen home for over a decade. His mother died ill of this inconvenient plague. And then thinking he, too, had fallen afoul of El León you will continue walking, undeterred. and his thugs. No copy of the poems is known to have At no point in “La Hiena” is an actual survived. La Abeja had a small circulation and hyena ever referenced, nor does one appear in went under almost immediately after they were the flesh (though the opposition to El León to published, once the regime's goons got around which Fuentes belonged was sometimes called to reading it. Rosa tells me that he burned the las hienas. I have always been fascinated at original manuscript in a moment of panic, how the revolution in Cuba adopted the believing its sarcastic nature to have been hierarchy of the Serengeti). discovered. But we might imagine what those But if we listen, if we really open our ears, few pages contained. They are undoubtedly we can hear that hideous laughter ricocheting brief, just one or two lines containing some from every surface.
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But if we listen, if we really the intelectuales nuevos, began planning her escape from Cuba the day she realized she was open our ears, we can hear that pregnant. There was no question of my father accompanying her. He, like most men of his hideous laughter ricocheting generation, was a great believer in the revolution. from every surface. How she escaped is still a mystery to me, and she has made it clear to me that I am never to ask. When she did reach the United minor pun, some curious anomaly. I suspect States to apply for political asylum (two of her they would have proven impossible to translate. closest confidantes were executed days after she At first, the bureaucrats saw tremendous fled), she carried nothing but a change of potential for their new nationalism in Fuentes. clothes, forty-five American dollars, and a thin, To them, he was already a wordsmith of great withered volume of stories entitled, simply, promise. Little could they have known that he Sueños. The book did not list an author. was really a sadistic puppeteer, leading his I learned from a young age that this audience to the brink of the unknown and volume was of iconic significance to my letting his marionettes fall to the floor. mother. She would occasionally read to me Only God and C. J. Fuentes know what from it, though I was always frustrated by how fierce creatures hunted in the margins of his the stories abruptly ended, leaving so many stories, in the dim spaces between sentences loose ends unresolved. and cool enclosures of his punctuation. His She never once mentioned the name “C. J. stories are cautious and withheld, titillating the Fuentes” until the day I left home, at age 18, to imagination but ultimately failing to explain move to New York to become a writer. It was themselves; as such, his fiction is the literary then that she pressed the old volume, now equivalent of those post-post-modern theater hanging together by a thread, into my hands projects, mostly confined to Brooklyn, that and told me the author's name. require the audience to actively participate in In the coming years, as I fell in with the the production. crowd of poets and novelists under the tutelage * * * * of the great anti-critic Gordy Turner, I learned I was conceived during the darkest days of the that knowledge of Fuentes' existence was a regime. My mother, a dancer and a member of closely guarded secret among the post-post-
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modernists, and that there was a movement to Glass Alley collided with the boulevard at translate his stories and publish them in the juncture of several streets, so that the America. Turner personally visited Cuba twice many thin streams of desperate faces—the in search of more of his texts, and perhaps a fishermen, the prostitutes, the foreigners— novel, much to the chagrin of the State gave the impression of joining hands in a Department. (Hope of locating the man great demonstration as they shuffled and himself was nonexistent. At that time, we fought their way forward…I watched, from believed him to be dead.) His efforts were the café, as one by one they joined that largely fruitless. stream—the almost imperceptible shift in And then it all happened in a flurry—we their faces as their mouths relaxed, their watched fireworks blossom over Havana and brows unfurrowed, and the thin lines of thousands of guerillas storm the presidential separation funneled away… palace. Two days later, the regime was dead, and two weeks after that, I was awoken from The story, from “Partial Confession of a an uneasy slumber in my Soho studio to learn, Mask,” is a retelling of “The Man of the from the unmistakable growl on the other end Crowd”—Poe, along with Mikail Bulgakov and of the line, that C. J. Fuentes was alive. Nikolai Gogol, is one of the few authors * * * * Fuentes ever mentioned as an influence. But I did not meet Fuentes during his waking life. we should not make too much of this; to admit Even after the regime fell he led an exceedingly even to these petty inspirations was grounds for private existence, leaving Cuba only twice, the execution. second time to come to America for emergency * * * * surgery—he had a tumor in his brain the size I came very close to an audience with the man of a grapefruit, and there was almost no hope once, five years ago, when I traveled to Cuba of his survival. for the first time in search of surviving His solitude was motivated at first by members of my mother's family. Two paranoia; he moved frequently within and collections of Fuentes' stories, Sueños and around the capital, fueled by an obsessive fear Ensueños, had just been translated into English of recognition. This terror, this dire need to and were finally available to an American blend in with his surroundings, is present audience, in a single volume entitled Dreams and everywhere in his fiction: Daydreams. (I can't help but mention, with a lingering sense of pride, that Gordy chose me
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perfectly imagine some bored Marine teaching him this, vaguely curious how readily the young Cuban would take to this American mythology.) “I'm looking for the ------building,” I said. Even in death we must protect his privacy. The young soldier looked up, void of expression, and then limply gestured across the to translate them.) I set out early one morning, street. And there it was, directly in front of me, armed with a mailing address that I had a squat yellow building of three stories. I had smuggled out of the American publisher's walked past it twice and missed it, as though office. the soldier possessed some native power to Even post-post-regime (a play off “Post- reveal the place to a foreigner. post-modern,” referring now to post the post- A thin, barren yard separated the old Castro regime), he lived in squalor. I made apartment from the street. Even from the curb three trips around the block where his building I could feel the building pulsating from its weak was supposed to be, in the center of a small cocktail of shouts, murmurs, and cries of love. neighborhood of unimaginable poverty, before I climbed a narrow stairwell, passing two finally stopping and asking directions from a small rooms on the first floor. One contributed young soldier whose grin had grown a clamorsome banging of ports to the general increasingly toothy each time I passed. He had din of the building, the other a monotonous an unopened pack of some nameless brand of exchange from the television, blared at a cigarettes that he'd been slapping against the volume that since my childhood in Miami I palm of his hand since what appeared to be have always associated with poverty and the fall of man, hoping, I can only assume, to despair. As a whole, the building, with its paper shake a little extra luck out of it. (I could
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walls and quaking desires, trembled with such bore the same name. (When I visited the hesitancy that I feared for its foundation. hospital this week, I arrived bearing two I knocked twice, and almost immediately bursting bags of groceries—strawberries, Rosa opened the door. pomegranates, avocados. The devoted reader “Are you the grocer?” she said. “Normally, of Fuentes will immediately understand the Manny delivers the groceries, but I see that you significance of these items.) are not him.” “I am not,” I said. The great regret of my life is that I did not She gave me a twice over, up-and-down, agree to being the grocer, given the up-and-down, and then said, “Well, who are unmistakable moral clue that the grocer and I you?” “I was hoping-” “Cristóbal does not take visitors,” she said. And then, after Flight 117, Tampa to Providence a pause, “Not even Americans.” Our encounter might have By Jennifer Farmer ended there, but then, from the only other room in the apartment, Tracing the gulf coast at 20,000 feet: Fuentes called out to her. At that at shoremargin, great effluvial plains, deltas moment I ceased to exist in the narrow universe between them, of ochre, sage and opal. Arterial mudflats reach held together by the fragile sinews into blue, pocked with mangrove and scrub palm. of his remaining passions. She hurried to him and I stepped into Stark octopal tendrils, oxbowed and weeping: the apartment. the sea cracks open the dry mouth of home, There were various books scattered about, in Greek, and home is falling, and home has fallen Spanish, Portuguese, and French, into a bougainvillea of thorny disarray though fewer volumes than I expected. Several old-model and my grandfather's ashes build houses for corals radios were tuned seemingly at and stingray. random. The product was a great ensemble of noise that, when the
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disparate voices aligned, sounded like the first conjecture; the corner that contains the left tree frogs in the Adirondacks. half of her nervous smile has been torn off. It I could hear him speaking softly in is as though even this miniscule clue was too Spanish. A full-length mirror was fastened to clear a window into his privacy. the back of the bedroom door, which Rosa had We still know almost nothing about left slightly ajar, so that…well, I believe I saw, Fuentes’ life. He began life as a poet, and just for a moment, the man's dim reflection as unlike prose, verse must have come very he shifted in the bed. naturally to him. By all accounts his childhood “Rosa,” I heard him say, “Please tell was a happy one. But he was born at such a Emmanuel that the clementines he brought last time that the turmoil in Cuba following the week were fantastically sour.” death of El Comandante would have peaked just * * * * as he reached adolescence. I have pinned up on my desk, as I write this, a He might have lived out his life in relative creased and tattered photograph of Fuentes happiness, stealing away with his mother to that Rosa bequeathed to me upon his death. Argentina or Columbia or America after his The photograph is horribly overexposed, and father, an ordinary government man, was the burning two o'clock sun over his right executed (he, like my own father, was one of shoulder obscures nearly the entire image. All the first casualties of the new regime). One of we are able to discern of the man is the smoky Fuentes’ earliest stories alludes to a man who silhouette of his small head, possibly with a was shot for offering a cup of English tea to a discreet pair of eyeglasses perched on the tip of young Colonel, and I believe his father’s fate his nose. And what I believe is a mustache. The must have been similar. photo could be of anyone. But instead he remained in Cuba to fight. What is clearer, however, is the young The only clue I can offer as to why is that, at woman to his left, far enough from the sun to the age of fifteen or sixteen, he met a young have escaped its obfuscation. Rosa does not revolutionary named Juan Marcos Callas. know who this woman is. She too is small and Callas who was nineteen or twenty at the time measured. She is staring peculiarly at Fuentes, and a prodigious poet in his own right, though as though seized by the sudden suspicion that very little of his verse has survived. (Gordy her companion is about to melt into smoke. Turner is in possession of the only known Her expression is a mixture of relief and remaining Callas manuscripts, and he has despair—relief that he has not, despair that he attempted on several occasions to convince surely will soon enough. But this is only a American publishers to print them, claiming
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Only God and C. J. Fuentes know what fierce I am deeply indebted to historian Sylvia Barcal here creatures hunted in the margins of his stories, for her painstaking efforts to gather together Fuentes’ in the dim spaces between sentences and cool letters and scraps of journals that he composed over the enclosures of his punctuation. course of his life. She estimates that approximately a third of his writing has survived, all told. that it is among the most visionary poetry of I have before me the letter Fuentes the twenty-first century—the “Cuban Rilke,” composed, on Callas’ typewriter, to his only he says. He has been unsuccessful.) sister, Lupe, which I have loosely translated Callas convinced Fuentes to come with here: him to Havana, where his older sister had already fallen in with las hienas. We lose track I came home today to find that Juan has of them here for nearly two years; Fuentes did disappeared. All that remains of his life is not write a single letter home in that interval, this old Facit 1620 on which he transcribed and appears to have been nervous even about his verses when they were ready to see the keeping a diary. Several underground journals light of day. I believe this gesture—that surfaced during this time, mostly produced by only his typewriter has survived—is a anarchists and atheists. Callas contributed to warning to me. I will not see him again. them freely. Make no mistake about it: The death of Here we arrive at the seminal moment in JMC to me is the death of poetry itself, the Fuentes’ development: one afternoon he demise of every shimmering idea. If I ever arrived at the one-room apartment he shared touch a pen again, it will be to describe at with Callas to discover that the poet had every moment the thousands of beings to disappeared. The sparse furniture they shared have sprung from his prismatic glow. was untouched, but every possible reminder of Callas had disappeared, save for one thing: His That same night, Fuentes transcribed the American-made typewriter, a vintage import, two-dozen-some poems he had written over the still sat on the small wooden desk in the corner. interval and mailed them off to La Abeja. It was the last time he would ever write poetry.
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* * * * long text called “el elefante,” and we can only Francesca's son in “La Hiena” is the nearest hope that he found it necessary to transfer this appearance that Callas makes in Fuentes’ two fantasy to paper and ink. volumes, but even he is only a vague * * * * approximation. By and large, the stories that I returned to Mt. Sinai several hours after have survived—and I believe many more Fuentes' death to retrieve a small briefcase I stories and at least one short novel remain to inadvertently left behind, though in retrospect I be discovered—are haunted by the tragic wonder if perhaps I'd left it there on purpose. absence of a hero. His protagonists are those After some cajoling I was allowed back into the who have yet to act, and his villains are those shallow room where he spent his last days. who never will. This is not surprising. To act Across the curtain I could hear the young the part of the hero in his time was certain boy's mother weeping. I have often wondered death, and for those who, like Fuentes, could what strange dreams visit those who are not bear to abandon their countrymen, only comatose—whether their slumber is a hellish two options remained: quiet obedience or struggle to the surface that they will never mock participation in the regime. remember. Is it possible that C. J. Fuentes and But what is to become of C. J. Fuentes? this boy, about whom I know almost nothing, Already I fear that he is becoming an academic passed one another in that purgatorial sleep? curiosity, never to be seriously read again. Sales And could the boy have confessed his crimes of his collection in America have been poor, and passions in this moment? and reviews have been lukewarm. In every case Watching the boy's chest rise and fall in the critic has profoundly misunderstood the that uneasy sleep, I suddenly wondered: Is it essence of his stories. In demanding a clear possible that the boy suddenly swerved to avoid and potent meaning, they have failed to notice striking…a hyena? that every sentence is tethered to an invisible balloon floating high above the stratosphere. The task at hand now is to frantically search for any remaining scraps of his prose. In spite of the intense danger he lived in for many years, he desperately wanted to be heard, and something more must have survived, though Rosa is cryptic on the subject. He makes several references in his personal letters to a
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Moisture Therapy and she places her palm on my forehead, By Krista Jarmas touch sticky, protective. She thinks I am asleep but I hear her, Through the tiny slit between my eyelids the old drawer of worn wood creaks I watch her gaze as it falls on the grey screen. as she opens it beside me. An actress tenderly fingers I smell the glycerin and soy bean oil a delicate strand of pearls around her neck. as I picture her twisting the blue cap. Her hands must smell of sweetness, of flowers and rosemary. The room is still, except for the peppering The handsome actor opposite her breathes this in of static and music as he leans to place his lips on hers. from the black and white TV with the hanger antenna Downstairs, just below us, the front door opens. sitting on her desk. His keys jingle, landing on the hall table, Her elbow brushes against my flannel on a pile of mail, their bills and reminders. nightgown I hear his footsteps, quiet but heavy, as she massages the thick white cream and for a moment her hand lift from my forehead. into her cracked hands. She waits, listening to him She kneads it over her skin flip the light on, then off. and I feel happy, safe as she laces it He doesn't climb the stairs. through her long fingers. It is quiet again. The Vaseline make me dizzy. She puts her Avon Moisture Therapy I concentrate on the low buzz of the television: back in its drawer the theme song to Dallas plays, cracked and and shuts it. broken. I will remember this music and this smell for a long time She doesn't know I'm awake but I feel her; she stops rubbing
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episode in an energy crisis that could soon deliver a knockout punch to the economies of LEFTdeveloped nations. The world consumes Transforming around 80 million barrels daily, of which the United States consumes twenty-five percent. the Current Before Katrina, that amounted to 20.4 million barrels of oil daily, with about two-thirds Energy earmarked for transportation. Worldwide, some 750 million cars, trucks, and other Economy vehicles roam the planet, with an additional 50 million making their way onto the roads every
from the from year. When a tight global oil supply was disrupted, gasoline prices skyrocketed well AMERICAN HONDA MOTORS CO. ANNOUNCED beyond $3 per gallon, with long lines and price the lease of its ground-breaking Honda FCX, gauging at the gas stations followed by chaos, an advanced hydrogen-powered fuel cell with the effects lingering long after the vehicle, to Jon and Sandy Spallino of Redondo hurricanes. Beach, California. The Spallinos became the It is only a matter of time until the surge world's first individuals to own a hydrogen fuel in the price of oil translates into soaring cell car; that is, to use the FCX in the course of consumer goods prices, losses of American ordinary life, including commuting to work, jobs, and a general economic slow-down. The taking their children to school, shopping, and logic is straightforward: as a result of higher running household errands. Soon they will oil prices, consumers spend more money at the become among the first individuals to utilize pumps; in the winter months to come, that California's new Hydrogen Highway refueling means higher electric bills. The inevitable stations-a statewide infrastructure that is being result is less money to buy food, clothing, and built to offer hydrogen fueling to private appliance—precisely the type of spending that individuals. Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger drives the core of our economy and makes it announced the State's commitment to a the most potent economy in the world. It is no Hydrogen Highway last April, creating a public coincidence that the last six global recessions and private partnership to completed by 2010. promptly followed spikes in oil prices. The timing could not have been better. Oil concerns begin with dwindling long- This year's hurricane season was only the latest term supply. As a finite substance, some By Dmitry Tuchinsky 60 Citizen Culture corrections 11/22/05 11:15 AM Page 61
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projections believe the world's oil could last purchases; which increases demand for forty years or more, but the consumption products; which calls for more factories, more dilemma begins when ready supplies and raw materials, and more trips by trucks and production begin to decline, long before we get trains from factories to warehouses and from to the last drop. Experts refer to that level as warehouses to mass outlets like Wal-Mart. “peak”—the maximum sustainable daily oil Hence, the average person in the U.S. output. When worldwide oil production consumes the equivalent of 7,500 gallons of oil reaches its peak, oil companies and oil- a year, while the average Chinese requires just producing states will not be able to maintain 800 gallons. the then-prevailing production levels, much less For now. keep up with the rising demand. America’s Much of the increasing current (and domestic supply peaked in 1971, when the future) oil demand comes from China and once-mighty Texan oil fields began to dry after India, major buyers of oil who still consume quenching the world's thirst through two World only a tiny percentage of the world's supply. Wars. The United Kingdom peaked in 2002 As their economies continue to boom and their at 2.3 million barrels a day, falling to 1.8 social middle-class expands, increases in million the next year. consumer spending in those countries will lead According to the U.S. Geological Survey, to higher energy consumption, just as it did in one of our most optimistic agencies, the the United States. Even assuming that world world's “proven” reserves—those already oil consumption continues to grow at a modest discovered but not pumped out—stand at 1.7 two percent per year, we would hit “peak” trillion barrels, over half of which are in the around 2030—that is, in 25 years. Middle East. Another 900 billion barrels are In the long run, conservation is not the “undiscovered”—oil whose existence has not answer to the political quandary: Americans been confirmed but is strongly suggested by should use more energy if more energy means geological analysis. Thus, the world's total more wealth. projected reserves stand at about 2.6 trillion Fortunately, we have another, more barrels. visionary, solution: the concept of generating Meanwhile, on the demand side of the current by mixing hydrogen and oxygen has equation, world's oil consumption has been been around for more than a century. In 1839, climbing torridly. Historically, there is a a British scientist William Grove discovered “trickle up” correlation between wealth and that as a result of combining elements consumption: greater wealth leads to more hydrogen and oxygen (to form water),
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hydrogen released its stored energy, along with can be built to any scale and be used to power a small amount of heat. More recently, just about anything, from iPods and cars to experts have argued that fuel cells will homes and office buildings. revolutionize energy production just as The promise and innovations, however, microprocessors transformed electronics. came to a premature halt. Significant * * * * challenges confounded the effort to convert the In the 1990s, amid high tech stock boom, deeply entrenched oil-based economy into a hydrogen-mania took off, attracting consumer hydrogen-based one: Pure hydrogen does not enthusiasm and investor capital. With an exist in nature, so it must be manufactured. Handling and transferring hydrogen fuel is expensive, and storing it is complicated. Plus, In the long run, hydrogen cars yield a cruising range of well conservation is not the under two-hundred miles, as compared with the 300- to 400-mile range that consumers answer to the political now expect of gasoline cars. By 2001, when the hydrogen bubble burst, quandary: Americans an estimated $600 million had been invested in should use more energy a sector that was newer than the software industry and yet to produce a single if more energy means deliverable. Supply, cost, technology, and performance issues had not been resolved. more wealth. The all-powerful oil industry, was eager to chill the robust development of the hydrogen intensity and confidence akin to the Internet industry. Before long, one hydrogen fuel cell boom, a new generation of entrepreneurs laid company after another delayed or cancelled its out ambitious business plans for a vast array of promised products. By 2003, analysts had exciting hydrogen products. written off two of every three ventures. Paul Roberts, in chapter three of his Today, oil and gas prices and pollution book The End of Oil, describes these exciting once again have changed the equation. Public developments and innovations in hydrogen outcry over astronomical oil and gas prices, energy: the hydrogen fuel cells are quiet, start global warming caused by oil based fuels, and instantly, do not vibrate, and, most importantly, the threats of terrorism, provide another emit only water vapor as an emission. They opportunity for our businesses and the
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government to take the steps that are necessary same—and more—today with hydrogen. In to transform our economy to a cleaner, the aftermath of September 11th and cheaper, and safer hydrogen based one. But Hurricane Katrina, the government has an make no mistake: market forces alone cannot opportunity to tap the country's national overcome the 800-pound gorilla that is the oil wealth and brilliance, ask citizens to make industry, because market forces alone cannot unparalleled sacrifices, and strong-arm big oil yield the necessary financial investment and conglomerates into concessions. human capital to build the infrastructure for a With recent legislation—the Energy Bill hydrogen-based economy. Local and state and the Highway Bill—the Government could governments, in responding to Hurricane have laid the foundation for the infrastructure Katrina, demonstrated that they are ill- of the hydrogen-based infrastructure and equipped for so large an undertaking. ensured American energy independence. But the United States Federal Government Moreover, developing and implementing has carried out a similar endeavor before, and cutting-edge hydrogen energy technology should do so again. On August 2, 1939, Albert would have sent a clear message to the Middle Einstein wrote a letter to President Franklin D. East and others: “You need us more than we Roosevelt describing the new scientific need you.” developments that "[lead] me to expect that Instead both bills missed the mark. The the element uranium may be turned into a $14.5 billion Energy Bill offered minor tax new and important source of energy in the incentives for fuel-efficient cars and home near future." Then-President Roosevelt equipment, but did little to curb U.S. reliance responded by appointing an Advisory on oil. The $286.4-billion Highway Bill, which Committee on Uranium; the Office of funds 6,371 pork projects valued at $24 billion, Scientific Research and Development was also entirely neglected the infrastructure that is established on June 28, 1941 to develop atomic necessary to transform our highways into the energy. Over the course of the next six years, cleanest and most technologically advanced in from 1939 to 1945, the U.S. Government spent the world. The recent legislation provides more than $2 billion on what would be called merely $9 million to fund a four-year hydrogen the Manhattan Project. and fuel cell research and development Between 1939 and 1945, while facing the program. threat of imminent war, America successfully * * * * developed nuclear energy almost from scratch; Proponents of fuel cells envision an energy surely our mighty nation can accomplish the revolution: thousands of interconnected-yet-
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standalone microsystems generating clean, References cheap, and most uniquely, local energy. Fuel
cells could restore to consumers and businesses Energy Information Administration, at the independence that is the spirit of http://www.eia.doe.gov (Contains official energy Americanism. In 1923, in a lecture at statistics from the U.S. Government) Cambridge University, British scientist John Haldane described a new hydrogen-based Paul Roberts. The End of Oil: On the Edge of a Perilous New World. Haughton Mifflin (2005). economy that would decentralize energy
production and do away with air pollution. Kenneth S. Deffeyes. Beyond Oil: The View From Can so colossal a transformation take place? Hubbert's Peak. Hill & Wang (2005). Roberts highlights the fact that the wealthiest nations have the greatest per capita Matthew R. Simmons. Twilight in the Desert: The energy usage. No wonder the Chinese Coming Saudi Oil Shock and the World Economy. John Wiley & Sons (2005). government is scrambling to establish access to Middle Eastern and South American oil. Tim Appenzeller. “End of Cheap Oil.” National Energy is power, and we need to make every Geographic. (Discusses the phenomenon of the effort to stay on top, prudently and efficiently. “peak” in the world oil production and related Already the foreign policy implications of ramifications.) fighting over oil are becoming clear. China, despite domestic problems with Islamic fanatics, made a long-term pact with Tehran to ensure that it has a ready access to oil for the future. And every time oil prices rise, more of our wealth goes to regimes like Iran. Questions about long-term supply, pollution, and political stability pose a permanent challenge to today's oil-based economy. A projected increase in demand for energy will make adequate oil acquisition harder and more dangerous to maintain, leading to new national interests and eventually to perilous alliances, though the battle for alternative fuels is one best fought at home.
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on the fence RIGHT Energy Independence from the from
IN EARLY 2003, TWO TELEVISION COMMERCIALS It goes without saying that these appeared that touted a revolutionary method commercials presented an impartial and for thwarting that pesky War on Terrorism that rational plea, one meant to tug our thoughts had embroiled our nation for well over a year. away from the comfort of our all-leather You might remember them: One featured interior to wonder over the true beneficiaries of everyday-looking people bragging about their every $3 spent on a gallon of Texas tea. latest wheels. They all owned SUVs, of course. Right? Rather, these commercials speak “My kids think it's cool,” one says. Another volumes about their creators: they show how follows, “I helped blow up a night club.” facile and even petulant the Left can be on the Another advertisement, pushing the same vital issue of energy independence. message in a somewhat less subtle fashion, Liberals frequently excoriate President shows a man filling the tank of his—you Bush for supposedly manipulating the guessed it—behemoth SUV. That is, until the emotional impact of September 11th to image fades into a terrorist training camp. At promulgate the War in Iraq. But what these the close of the commercial, we see a brief commercials show is that many on the Left feel blurb: “Oil money supports some terrible it is forgivable to commit that same atrocity— things. What kind of mileage does your SUV indeed, more explicitly so—to promote an get?” issue endeared in liberals' hearts. The War in Iraq, of course, was a matter deeply related to By Ben Barron 65 CCm corrections 11/22/05 11:15 AM Page 66
terrorism broadly, if not to the hijackers of declaring jihad on the West. And this message September 11th themselves, insofar as it sought is emphatically broadcast by the President to secure our nation and remove a dictator precisely because of those who would criticize who had allied himself to the anti-American him for allegedly waging war on all of Islam. cause. The Left, so apt at raising hell upon sensing the faintest whiff of racism (remember the scandals surrounding Trent Lott and Bill The government needs to Bennett) has difficulty recognizing the incentivize the research proverbial toothpick in its own eyes. Even notwithstanding the commercials' process so that private manipulation or racism, the case for energy independence as a means of fighting the War industry can ensure that on Terror is preposterous, and is about as our cars will run for Americocentric an argument as one can fabricate. If the United States were to generations to come. somehow divest entirely itself from the Middle Eastern oil market, the impact on oil sales would be sizable at first, but ultimately, it Contrast this with the topic of energy would be negligible. Oil prices have spiked as independence, which is at best tangentially high as they have largely because of increased related to the far more expansive topic of demand from markets such as China and terrorism. Indeed, the commercials are far India. While 300 million Americans worse than manipulative—they are also utterly boycotting Arab oil would be no movement to racist. The commercials imply that the scoff at, other nations offer billions of new beneficiaries of oil revenues are all terrorists, clientele ready to lap up the leftovers. and suggest that a sizable portion of the Arab I am not among those who tow the energy recipients of oil revenues are allied with the independence line for the sake of improving terrorist cause. President Bush’s message in international relations, but there are recent years, on the other hand, has compelling reasons to seek alternative sources endeavored to make clear that the War on of fuel. The most obvious is felt in pangs by Terror is aimed not at Arabs generally, but at anyone who has visited the pumps lately: oil is those among them who would undermine their just plain expensive. Let the coffers of large oil people's hope for peaceful democracy by
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companies suffer to cheapen the costs borne by pervasive oil is in our society, and how many of virtually all other businesses nationwide. our cities are built around it, we should stave Furthermore, our ability to mine and ship off rising oil prices before we're forced to go oil is more tenuous than we like to believe. tar. Hurricane Katrina knocked out dozens of oil This is the central problem with two refineries along the Gulf Coast, not to mention controversial solutions to the impending oil ports by which it is imported. Imagine the crisis. The first solution was initiated last global economic impact if a similar such summer by the Hawaiian government. disaster—natural or man-made—were to strike Angered by oil prices that ranked among the the right areas in Venezuela or Saudi Arabia. highest in the nation and disregarding the fact Certainly, none of us really wants to rely on a that hefty prices were an inevitable result of fuel source that can be so easily knocked out of island life, Hawaii responded to price increases commission by a few well-placed crises. Far not by seeking out alternative fuel sources, but better to find a synthetic fuel source that can by undercutting the free market system and be created anywhere and for a fraction of the becoming the first state in the Union to put a cost it takes to obtain oil. price cap on wholesale oil. Also driving the energy independence But there are serious problems posed by movement is the age-old concern over global the Hawaiian “solution.” First, capping the oil supply—that is, that it might soon run out. price of oil doesn't solve or even address the We have been told by many a geologist that ultimate need for alternatives source of fuel. there are numerous other sources of oil Second, capping the price of oil completely available, including vast deposits of tar in disregards the grounds under which the oil was Canada and Venezuela. But the tar is particularly expensive in the first place: it’s incredibly expensive to obtain and refine. expensive to live in the middle of the Pacific Economists tell us we shouldn't worry; after all, Ocean. Third, the price caps altogether when oil gets sufficiently expensive, oil tycoons disregard that oil companies already had a will flock from around the globe to refine the most powerful of reasons—competition—to tar and produce additional fuel to keep seek cheaper means of delivering their demand afloat. Nevermind that we should products to Hawaii. Barring some form of seek to avoid increased oil prices rather than collusion (a matter for jurists rather than just respond to them—especially since so many economists), that should be enough incentive of our businesses suffer when prices at the to find a cheaper way to get oil to the state. So pump become oppressive. Given how why hasn't it been?
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Thomas Friedman, in a recent New York alternative fuel source. But why do gas prices Times column, put forward a second potential need to be higher to kick the research process solution to the looming energy crisis, a position into gear? And alternative fuels are years away that has been adopted by a number of leading from discovery and widespread use—mean- economists. He argues that President Bush while, the rest of us will have to bear the should fund the rebuilding effort in New tremendous new cost of oil as the research Orleans by imposing a gasoline tax of 50 cents chugs along. per gallon. This tax, Friedman argues, will help Oil reform isn't going to come from propel us toward energy independence by within, and it’s slow coming from without. Oil increasing consumer demand for more efficient companies are all talk when it comes to fuel efficient technologies, and compelling oil reform-budging would be bad for business. companies to step up to the plate. In theory, Indeed, there are only two parties with the producing cheaper alternative fuels not subject objectivity and the resources to pull off the to the tax would cut into oil’s revenue stream. task of reform: the university and the Friedman’s idea is flawed, however, government. But individually, universities are because it requires the imposition of radical too disjointed and therefore too limited in time, increases in oil prices, which as we have seen is money and minds to make the timely far from desirable. It's also unrealistic, since breakthroughs needed. the need for oil won't necessarily abate just I have heard many people—talking heads because prices increase. Oil companies can and my peers alike—advocate for a Second charge exorbitant fees for oil and rest assured Manhattan Project. For funding, take the that people and businesses will still buy. The billions of dollars in pork our senators set aside oil companies, therefore, won't suffer very for their pet projects, and for location we can much—but the rest of us will, burdened by the usurp the old laboratory at Los Alamos. (Not imposition of a tremendous new tax on top of interesting has happened there over the last 50 a supply-and-demand price crunch. Imagine years aside from the occasional espionage how many corporations could not survive conviction.) without gasoline to power their trucks and * * * * planes; those increased costs are only But should I—a libertarian—be advocating for channeled back to the consumers through greater government involvement in research? increased ticket and retail prices. Conservatism does not oppose government The point of Friedman's plan is to give the spending generally. Rather, it seeks to avoid private sector an added incentive to create an government intervention in the market while at
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on the fence
the same time limiting state spending to now to treat alternative fuel sources as more programs that serve the public goods. An than a possibility for the distant future. But alternative fuel source is not only a public that doesn't change the fact that we need good, but also an economic imperative. The additional sources of oil, and that this need will government needs to spur or incentivize the only grow with time. research process so that private industry can From an economic perspective, to put it take up the task and ensure that our cars will simply, reduced oil prices will spur industry run for generations to come. The movement forward and hamper inflation. Our economy to alternatives fuels could signal the has fared surprisingly well in recent years, and obsolescence of oil in favor of, for example, a there is no reason why we shouldn't do what it tractable hydrogen cell. A Second Manhattan takes to ensure global economic growth Project will provide oil companies with continues at its current clip. We may have tremendous incentives to research, lest their been foolish to build a society heavily industry goes to the same technological dependent on oil. But this does not mean that graveyard as did the dial-up modem and the we can just as foolishly neglect our current VHS cassette. needs in developing fuel sources for our What to do about oil prices as we develop children. alternative fuel sources? The solution to that key question is simple: we must let the market itself find ways to cheapen oil prices as much as possible by opening up sources of oil that were previously left untapped. Yes, Alaska. Alaska is one of our largest states, so I'm skeptical that tapping into the oil there will ruin the region—nature has plenty of room to share even with industrial rigs. Should oil exploration harm some of Alaska's wildlife, it is still more important to ensure global economic viability than to preserve a fraction of one isolated ecosystem. Granted, the necessity of mining Alaska's oil stems from our own shortsightedness—we have developed into an oil-addicted world, and we have failed up until
69 CCm corrections 11/29/05 10:39 PM Page 70 FIRSTPerson WHEN THE UPS MAN KNOCKED ON THE DOOR like saucers, listening to what they thought was to our small Chicago loft, I hoped it was the liberal conspiracy jabberwocky. pair of heels I ordered from Nieman. Instead it “Guy’s crazy.” was four doll-house-sized boxes that the man in I thought so, too. I remember begging him brown lifted with ease as if they weighed as to lower his voice, but he wanted everyone to little as my cat Snowball. The packages were hear what was really happening to our society, addressed to my husband, and I assumed he or better yet, what our American way of life had started collecting LEGOS® again. was doing to it. He started plotting our long- Walking in the door five minutes later, my term escape from our doomed city to a remote husband herded the boxes into an empty patch of land in the country where we would closet, as if I hadn't noticed them at all. “More be able to cultivate our own food and supplies. LEGOS,” I asked. He shook his head and said, I was born, raised and now thriving in city life. “No, it's about The-Topic-that-is-Not-to-be- In love with the city's energy, diversity and Discussed.” opportunity, there's no way I could word- I hated The Topic. I hated what it did to picture myself on a farm. And, I knew deep him. I hated the way it made our future look so down that he—being a city guy himself—didn't bleak and difficult. For months he had been want that either. obsessing with his walking-back-and-forth Driving along in his hybrid one day, he sleeplessness. His once wagging eyes were dull tried composing a three-minute speech about and tired, outlined in dark circles. He tried the topic to deliver to friends, family and really explaining The Topic to me countless times. anyone who wouldn't walk away. “That turkey sandwich you’re eating will “You're starting to sound just as bad as the be unaffordable in ten years.” righteous right, you know that?” “La, la, la, la…I can't hear you,” with my “You don't know what you're talking fingers shoved into my ears like phalangeed Q- about.” tips. “I can't take this anymore. You need to I remember being at an old-fashioned stop talking about this with me, or I else I don't diner on the outskirts of Chicago. Suburban- think we'll be able to stay married.” ites with their Suburbans parked in the easy- Now, you may be thinking I was access parking spaces, positioning their ears overreacting, but Peak Oil bubbled through the surface of nearly all day-to-day conversations. By Jill Dudones 70 Citizen Culture corrections 11/22/05 11:15 AM Page 71
on the fence
There, I said it. Peak Oil. Don't know what it “So, what…flares? Guns? Batteries? What is? I wish I didn't either. The theory states that did UPS deliver this time?” the world's oil supply will soon ceiling, and the “Dehydrated food. I even ordered some ensuing permanent decline in production will veggie entrees for you. You'll thank me one mean ever-increasing prices, widespread day.” shortages and worse. Blueberry cheesecake, filet mignon, It was Peak Oil that was diluting our lasagna, sugar cookies, eggplant parmesan, marriage with monotony and dullness. Our fried chicken, hamburgers. All dehydrated. All daily activities were limited to conserve money waiting for a few drops of water so they could and resources. Our loft was often dimly lit. We come to life and nourish us in the event of drove fuel efficiently in our hybrid, making sure the battery drove us more than the engine, Interest Piqued about Peak Oil? which also meant going very slow. Even on the
expressway. Our food was purchased from local * When the first oil well was constructed in 1859 sources whenever possible. Life was getting near Titusville, Pennsylvania, there were an uncomfortable, especially as I watched friends estimated two trillion barrels of oil. zoom around in their powerful BMWs and * We have used one trillion in decades since then, SUVs, dining out at delicious non-eco- and it is expected that the world will use the last trillion in 30 years. conscious restaurants and living blissfully * It is projected that domestic oil production without a care. peaked in 1973. The fact that he was so adamant about the unavailability of oil in the near future, and What might happen next? how it will completely change the way we live scared and upset me. I couldn't understand * Industrialized nations will experience food how this would be possible if, as a society, we shortages, as petroleum-based products are integral to modern farming methods. are taking no action to conserve energy. There * Plastics and other petroleum-derived products were and are no limits to oil usage. Gas is still will become increasingly expensive. somewhat affordable. So is food. I thought my * Migration from a me-based society will open its husband was going insane like George from way to a more communal style of life. “Six Feet Under” in the season when he built a * Ongoing military intervention overseas will bomb shelter. become more commonplace in other oil-rich regions of the world, especially Venezuela, A year went by without discussing the Colombia, Indonesia and West Africa. topic. * Spiraling poverty and debt will become heavier burdens for Americans.
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severe energy shortages and blackouts. I can’t But this BP ad in Real Simple spoke volumes believe he bought blueberry cheesecake. The about what is really happening. four large boxes crowded our tiny closets, Then, I started noticing more ad mocking me as if they were saying, “No more campaigns from other oil companies. Chevron shopping at BCBG for you. We've got first dibs had placed a strikingly alarming ad in The New on closet space.” York er. “The world consumes two barrels of oil Trying to forget about the topic which is for every barrel discovered. So is this not to be discussed, I sat down to research Real something you should be worried about?” The Simple magazine to send an article query. As a ad continues to express its concern for this former advertising copywriter, I pay special crisis by pointing out what they will do to attention to ads. It was then that I saw “balance the equation.” something strikingly odd. “You can't go from a And then Katrina came to visit, and the highly dependent fuel economy one day to no general public began noticing there was a oil. There has to be a transition,” said the definite oil shortage problem as gas prices British Petroleum full-color, full-page ad. ignited further. It was then that my husband I've been in the corporate communications and I began meeting many drivers in traffic. and marketing world not so long, but long They stare, then we glance over. They mime to enough to know that when something is a roll down the window, and then they ask, “You negative issue for a company, it is ignored as saving a lot of money with that little electric long as possible until it is forced to be car? Do you have to plug it in? Does it work in addressed. And, that's what this ad was-a last the winter?” Luckily rush hour is horrendous resort. The fact that the BP [British Petroleum] enough in Chicago so we can answer all they purchased ad space for their message in a want to know about owning a hybrid and mainstream women’s magazine says the what's to come down the road with our energy company isn’t concerned about hitting a target crisis. audience, which means the unavailability of oil A year ago I would have thought it is most seriously a hot topic. impossible that I would side with my husband It was this ad, this simple, passively placed against Peak Oil naysayers, but for once I can ad, that told me peak oil is a seriously crucial tell my husband, “you are right,” and actually societal issue. My husband's obsession, the stats mean it. We may never hydrate our dehydrated and studies he showed me, the articles in The culinary delicacies, but I still believe a new way Wall Street Journal, rising gas prices—none of of life is dawning like an old day. these indicators meant a damn thing to me.
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Top: RLX (Ralph Lauren) Polo Shirt Denim: Salt (Ludlou St.) Belt: Sean John corrections 11/22/05 11:15 AM Page 77
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CCM investigates
The
SecurityNYC Paradox corrections 11/22/05 11:15 AM Page 83
IT HAS BEEN MORE THAN FOUR YEARS since the progress. On October 7, even the threat of an 9/11 attacks. The fallout has included higher attack was enough to shut down Pennsylvania security in the form of policed public Station. Few would fault Bloomberg or the transportation, the Patriot Act’s restrictions on New York Police Department for being overly freedom, and panic. Still, New York City has cautious, but the jolts of increased security beg hosted a barrage of security intensive events, the questions: how safe would a 2012 including the 2002 World Economic Forum Olympics be in New York, and how safe is and the 2004 Republican National Convention New York now? (not to mention New Years at Times Square). Sources both within Olympic security and Most recently, Mayor Bloomberg backed an the NYPD say that New York would have been impressive (albeit unsuccessful) bid to host the safe enough to host an international 2012 Olympic Games. Many Americans still competition like the Olympics. “Those two feel the sting of attack, but our society and a half weeks would probably be the safest continues to function. two and a half weeks in New York,” says a It’s difficult to walk by Ground Zero source inside the failed NYC2012 campaign. without slowing down or stopping completely “The Olympics have such a focus on them to look at the barren pit that was the World from every level of government and the eyes of Trade Center. Those who don’t want to look the world—there would probably be no safer must dart and dodge between the impromptu event.” pilgrims who flood the sidewalk daily. And yet, But at what price comes unparalleled PATH trains whiz around on electrified security—in terms of dollars, inconvenience, underground tracks, bringing over 60,000 and intrusion—and what of the many days people back into a city that, it seems only when the world’s eyes are fixated elsewhere? yesterday, was in the grips of al Qaeda. * * * * President Bush says New Yorkers are safe. The Olympic Games Security Division was He told the National Endowment for created to plan and implement all security Democracy in October 2005 that at least three measures for Athens. The division’s members al Qaeda attacks within the US have been were culled from a cross-section of 72 security thwarted since 9/11, and at least seven attacks organizations: Police, Coast Guard, Fire have been stopped abroad. Despite his Brigade, Port Police Corps and Defense Forces assurance, bombings in London and Bali were all represented. The OGSD also oversaw indicate that terrorists are also making 1250 infrared and high resolution cameras that monitored the city, twelve patrol boats Team coverage by equipped with sensors, 4,000 vehicles, nine Damien Power, Igor Finkel, and Jonathon Scott Feit 83 CCm corrections 11/22/05 11:15 AM Page 84
CCM investigates
helicopters, four mobile command centers and Cambria confirms that the most caution a blimp. Microphones picked up conversations has been attended to so-called “hard targets,” around Athens, which were automatically which are difficult to infiltrate, like a federal translated into text using speech-recognition building surrounded by officers. By ironic software and then analyzed. contrast, it is the soft targets—the subway, for Our Olympic source expects that New instance—that operate with lower security, a York City will benefit from federal, regional, dangerous self-fulfilling prophesy. In his words, corporate, and even international attention “The police commissioner has implemented given to Olympic host cities. The NYPD, after random bag checks and questioning. But the all, has done a great job of keeping the city reality is that this needs to go through all secure since 9/11, and with seven years to modes of transportation, and its impossible to plan, the Olympic games should be a fiercely detain everyone in subways. Would you be guarded “hard target.” In theory, true. willing to spend four hours getting to work Detective Lieutenant Jack Cambria, when you normally live 20 minutes by train? commander of the NYPD’s Hostage There would be lines. This is New York City— Negotiation Team, acknowledges that New we’re talking over fourteen million people York is a “terrorist rich environment.” Still, he coming in every day.” thinks that the city would be safe during the Unfortunately, Cambria also recognizes Olympic Games, and that New York has been that “terrorists usually go for softer targets particularly sensitive and adaptive when it without infiltrating police lines; why would comes to crime prevention. In response to they want to deal with that?” The intention of events like the Israeli hostage situation at the the terrorist is to excite and to cause terror. He 1972 Olympics in Munich, Germany, New quotes Sun Tzu, who wrote the Art of War York formed the first and premier hostage 2500 yrs ago: “Kill one, terrorize one- negotiation team in the world. The team thousand. If you detonate a bomb in a subway allows regular policing agencies to handle day- and one person is killed, then you have to-day problems while leaving serious terrorist succeeded.” He also mentions that it is harder threats to specially trained units. But as the city to deal with someone with an irrational went about pitching to the International mindset, such as terrorists-slash-freedom Olympic Committee, to Cambria’s knowledge fighters, especially if they are determined to (and contrary to our source’s assurances), no die for their causes. special police preparations had yet begun to Robert Sikellis is the Managing Director filter through the ranks. and Associate General Counsel of Vance International, a corporate investigations,
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“During a high-profile event like the Olympics, there’s no better time to attack New York. It’s going to be front page news. That’s why the terrorists want it.”
—Robert Sikellis, Managing Director and Associate General Counsel of Vance International
security and risk management firm. He headed (nearly 75%) was earmarked for infrastructure security for the Olympics in Athens and improvements that the cities might otherwise disagrees with NYC2012’s assertion that the have put off; and government “safety net” global attention a safe populace makes. projects since the New Deal have During a high-profile event like the Olympics, demonstrated that spending equals job Sikellis says, “there’s no better time” to attack generation. Little wonder, then, that it was New York. “It’s going to be front page news. Dan Doctoroff, Deputy Mayor for Economic That’s why the terrorists want it.” Development, whose name was synonymous The question boils down fairly quickly: if with the New York Olympic bid until the IOC security experts from both the public and last July selected London to be the 2012 host private sectors agree that flashy events leave so city. much at stake, why bother with the risk? But Sikellis explains that New York does There is, of course, an important business not need the Olympic games. Before the event, encouragement and social welfare argument: Barcelona barely cracked the Top 20 of according to a report commissioned in European tourism destinations. That rating September 2000 by Senator John McCain (R- dramatically increased after the Olympics. Arizona), approximately $2 billion in federal “Sometimes the games are for the benefit of funds were made available to Atlanta and Salt the people; you need it for other reasons such Lake City for their Olympic Games as promotion of tourism, or need to show off preparations. Of that windfall, $1.4 billion the country,” Sikellis says. “Those are different
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reasons than why Americans want to have the someone who’s intent on doing something bad, Olympics. New York doesn’t need that. The over time, from getting into this country.” US government couldn’t even handle Salt * * * * Lake City for the Olympics; they cannot That doesn’t answer the question. Nor does it handle it in New York.” justify beefing up a lackadaisical or disjointedly And for all the commerce they stimulate, communicating law enforcement’s presence the Games aren’t cheap. Montreal finally paid within America’s borders. How do we deal off its Olympics in 2004; they hosted the with domestic terrorists, the disgruntled ones games in 1976. How much would the event who aren’t in the Middle East, but rather are cost New York City, considering its demands home-grown and camouflaged among a busy for top-shelf security and urban planning in populace? How do we stop Eric Rudolph, the the convoluted financial capital of the world. man who, enraged with America’s pro-choice McCain’s commissioned report shows that stance, exploded a bomb in an unsecured fully 25%, or $513 million, of the federal public space during the Atlanta Olympics. funds granted to Olympic host cities in the Centennial Park was Rudolph’s first attack? He United States goes toward “projects and later went on to bomb an abortion clinic and a activities related to planning and staging the gay night club. Olympic Games, such as providing security or A prosecutor at Rudolph’s sentencing said transporting spectators.” That’s a fairly short that if he is remembered years from now it list of activities to benefit from a hefty capital should be as a serial bomber, murderer and investment. Yet when Citizen Culture asked, terrorist. The prosecutor is right; he should be despite all the security procedures and remembered that way. He should also, enormous spending on safety, how to stop a however, be recalled as a man who placed all Lone Gunman, McCain replied: “The only of his energy into exploiting weaknesses in way you stop the Lone Gunman is to go where police, government, and even international they’re bred, and that is in the streets of the protection. While his conviction was a symbol Middle East. The street corners of the Middle of society’s triumph over a radically violent East, where young people, men are standing dissident, the bombing remains a symbol of around with no hope, no job, no opportunity. our inability to catch everyone, and to do They’re taken by the extremists off the streets everything. into the madrassas, funded by Saudis—among Hostage Negotiation Team commander others—and they’re taught to hate and destroy Cambria admits the difficulty in stopping and kill. In this country you do the best that someone who is willing to pay the price, be it you can. But you’re never going to stop death or lifetime imprisonment. But remember
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America united after September 11th was a positive and long-overdue byproduct of tragedy. The Patriot Act was arguably less desirable, and many see its passage as purely opportunistic, a clear example of President Bush taking unfair advantage of the country’s shell-shocked sentiments. How frighteningly ironic that the September 11th attacks accomplished al Qaeda’s chief objectives—and the Bush administration’s as well. We know that the CIA, FBI, Homeland Security’s myriad divisions, detective bureaus nationwide, and plenty of contracted private- “We have a can-do attitude, so sector security experts toil to foil attacks. I think no challenge would be President Bush has told the American people too small for the NYPD.” that the collective work of the agencies under his charge has short-circuited at least ten —Det. Lt. Jack Cambria, Commander of the terroristic plans. Yet despite whatever victories NYPD’s Hostage Negotiation Team the organizations can boast (assuming the electorates lends them the benefit of the the movie Wag the Dog, in which Dustin doubt), terrorism remains a real, constant— Hoffman creates a war to divert attention from and especially, an underestimated—threat. domestic scandal? Just over a century ago, The failure of NYC2012 Olympic bid sensationalist reporting by the Hearst and highlighted procrastination within the city’s Pulitzer newspapers combined with the security machinery and misperceived present explosion of the U.S.S. Maine in Cuba to ignite readiness—status quo was safe enough in the the Spanish-American War, an early indicator face of massive inconvenience. Our some believe that terrorism is among the most government’s leaders—at every level—are effective means to push an agenda. Sometimes responsible for making sure that each subway the question, terribly, is whose? rider, dog walker, and rushing executive is What “Terrorists” and “Freedom Fighters” secure to go about the daily grind. They may have in common is that each battles for a be our fundamental concern. cause, legitimate or illegitimate though it may seem from a particular side of the fence. That
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Local Flavor: anecdote
NEW YORK'S CANAL STREET, between Mott and Broadway, for both locals and bargain-hunting tourists, is synonymous ADVENTURES IN with knock-off merchandise both legal DESIGNER HANDBAG and outright fake (read: illegal) designer goods, including, but not limited, to: SHOPPING handbags, watches, belts, jewelry and perfume. Fashionable Midwestern moms stand in small herds with their preteen daughters, ostensibly on the hunt for a good fake handbag to parade in front of neighbors and friends back home as the real deal. Chinese and Vietnamese fruit sellers man small mounds of produce. Other neighborhood locals read the day's Chinese-language newspapers in the shade of cheap umbrellas and their tenement building's stoop. By Amanda Joyce 88 Citizen Culture corrections 11/22/05 11:15 AM Page 89
On a visit to Canal Street I wandered up bag with “Chloé” clearly printed on it. The and down the main drag of stalls to find a bag stopped me in my tracks; I did a quick deal. From the outside, each stall that crowds double-take, then entered and nodded to the the sidewalk looks identical: merchandise is two merchants guarding the door. I was their crammed into every square millimeter of perfect customer: a young, fashion-conscience space, bags dangle overhead as well as to the female who is obviously not an undercover cop right and left of each entrance. Once inside, looking to bust anyone for peddling fake the clutter continues with racks of bags of all merchandise. sizes, colors and shapes. The bags that are The first thing that caught my eye once immediately visible from the street serve as a inside was the wallets. Adorable little powder mere screen for the better stuff in the back- blue wallets with Marc Jacobs printed on the they're usually unbranded, made of cheap metal closure looked like the real deal. I had nylon and are obvious, clumsy replicas. Every just started inspecting the Salvatore Ferragamo stall, it seems, also has the same stock: wallets—made of real leather, for $30, one of oversized shoulder bags in vibrant colors, the shop attendants informed me—when two printed brown bags that are a half-hearted women shoppers burst onto the scene. They version of the now overexposed Louis Vuitton were on a mission and didn't waste any time: classic, and small rectangular faux croc bags “Do you have the Hèrmes bags?” one asked. that say “Pegasus” or “Pagoda” instead of In rather broken English one of the shop Prada. attendants said that he did. He pointed to a Booth after booth features styles that fool top shelf I hadn't yet noticed. “Four-hundred no one. The “leathers” have a stiff plastic feel, dollar,” he said. the linings are a scratchy nylon and the The woman pulled the bag down that and stitching looks as though it might last one started to look it over. It was a passable version season before the purse literally falls apart. No of the coveted Birkin bag, complete with brand is spared, either. There were knocked-off “Hermes” embossed in gold on the front. “Do styles from Coach, Kate Spade, Balenciaga, you have a card?” she asked the same sales Louis Vuitton, Gucci, Prada and Hèrmes. person. “I want to come back later without my After visiting a few stalls I started to think husband.” She took the proffered business card that I wouldn't find any “genuine” fakes. Then, and swept out of the shop just as quickly as she I saw it, sitting in plain view in a shop's display and her companion had entered. window. A snowy white, slouchy rectangular
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I reached for the same bag, marveling at didn't even compare. For one, it wasn't nearly the concept of spending $400 on a fake. I'd heavy enough, the little metal padlock felt seen the real thing on the arm of many an chintzy and the lining, while better than many Upper East Side doyenne, and knew how the of the knock-offs I had seen that day, was only luxurious bag was supposed to look: amazing, a marginal improvement, made with a plain thick-cut leather with shiny, heavy hardware cotton fabric. I stretched up onto my tip-toes and an attention to detail that can only come and replaced the bag to its perch on the store with a hand-stitched, four- (and sometimes shelf. Perhaps at a distance, on someone's five-) figure price tag. The real Birkin has a shoulder, it would look more convincing than certain…je ne sais quois…about it. An up close. Wondering what a Birkin would cost indefinable quality that effortlessly says, “I cost on eBay, I nodded my goodbyes and left the more than six month's rent—you will never be shop. able to afford me.” The bag I was holding
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I crossed the street to check out a “Sure,” I said. “Follow him,” the woman said, particularly grimy row of dilapidated shops. pointing to a guy standing on the sidewalk. More of the same. The quality was about He led me and my shopping companion what you would expect for $25, and the bags around the corner and into the Canal Street 6- were fashionable in their own right, but no one train subway stop. Before we reached the would mistake them for an uptown boutique turnstiles, however, he stopped in front of a purchase. I had already shrugged off several plain-looking door, whipped out his keys and insistent “You like? $30, $20 for you” passes opened the sort of door that, presumably, when a fashionable young woman walked would have kept private the subway's purposefully to the back of the shop. mechanical equipment. Instead, there was a I immediately made her for an NYU stuffy concrete room packed with bags—a student—she was no tourist. “Do you have the designer handbag snob's heaven. There were Chanel bags?” she asked, barely giving the Gucci “flora” print bags with the signature purses hanging on either side of us a second horsebit hardware, men's Louis Vuitton wallets glance. The woman nodded and immediately and geometric Prada clutches in vibrant shades began digging through some large black trash of green, blue and pink. I pulled a Louis bags that were piled in the corner. When she Vuitton shoulder bag off the shelf and surfaced she had a white quilted handbag with immediately peered inside. The lining was soft, two large intersecting “Cs” asymmetrically full-grain leather. The color was gorgeous, and placed on the side. “32 dollars,” the the metal hardware had been stamped with the shopkeeper announced. The NYU student distinctive name. It could have fooled me. fished through her wallet and gave the woman $30. “That's all the cash I have on me,” she explained. The woman waved off the $2, and off went the student, “Chanel” bag tucked into a small black plastic bag. I marveled at the efficiency. Apparently, the trick to finding the good stuff was to go directly to the shopkeepers, and to not be shy about it. There is also dumb luck, though. On a separate trip to Canal street a shopkeeper asked: “You want to see the Louis Vuitton?”
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In Pursuit of Luxury: corrections 11/22/05 11:16 AM Page 93
EVEN AT SEVEN O'CLOCK ON A WEDNESDAY University in Miami has brought me to this evening in early October, the Waldorf=Astoria lovely place. Opening on November 13, In is bustling. In the spacious, elegant lobby, and Pursuit of Pleasure: Schultze & Weaver and the amidst melodic female vocals and the patter of American Hotel will feature original presentation piano notes, a cross-section of New York drawings and plans for the Waldorf=Astoria as traverses the mosaic-tiled floor. To my right, well as of other hotels produced under the four lounging Japanese women grip cell phones direction of Leonard Schultze and S. Fullerton and chat excitedly. In front of me, a group of Weaver. The Waldorf=Astoria is widely men in tuxedos and women in evening gowns considered to be their masterpiece. For more assemble beneath the expansive chandelier. than a century, the Waldorf=Astoria has meant Tourists wearing T-shirts and shorts lug bulky exclusive glamour. How does arguably suitcases up a handful of steps into the lobby. America's greatest hotel live up to its stellar A young man dressed in business-casual khakis reputation even today? glances at his watch as he nervously awaits a companion. This is the Waldorf=Astoria in The Beginning 2005. The original Waldorf=Astoria developed The décor is much the same as when the somewhat unexpectedly when two separate building was inaugurated in 1931: gilded hotels, The Waldorf and The Astoria, were moldings and cornices frame the creamy walls joined. The location of the building was on and columns, brass screens divide the lobby, Fifth Avenue between 33rd and 34th streets, elongated vases austerely delineate the hallway the present site of the Empire State Building. toward the reception area. Palm leaves emerge Wealthy William Waldorf Astor founded The from elaborate planters, and the luxurious Waldorf Hotel because he considered it a scent of lilies dances through the air. At this sound investment. This hotel, designed by New York institution the focus is on details, Henry Hardenbergh, opened in 1893. minutiae that please all senses. The art deco However the first Astoria Hotel was the project style—although over seven decades old—is far of William Waldorf Astor's cousin, John Jacob from dated; The Waldorf remains as classy as Astor IV, who envied The Waldorf's lucrative ever. nature. In 1897, when the Astoria was An exhibition on the work of the illustrious completed next to the Waldorf, the hotels were architecture firm, Schultze & Weaver (founded connected by a three-hundred foot corridor. 1921), at the Wolfsonian-Florida International Thus in 1897, The Waldorf=Astoria debuted By Molly Klais 93 CCm corrections 11/22/05 11:16 AM Page 94
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as the first thousand-room hotel: The equal the new hotel were finalized and the sign connotes two separated but equal hotels documents were signed. Coincidentally, this and graphically references the corridor that was exactly one day before the famous Stock connected them.” Market Crash. Had there been any delay, the During the 1890's the hotel was gorgeous hotel would never have been re-built as the and popular; however by the 1920's it had lavish New York institution that it is. become dated as the social life of New York The newer and more magnificent City shifted uptown. In 1929, the Waldorf=Astoria opened its doors on October Waldorf=Astoria was sold to developers who 1, 1931, on the site of a former railroad yard. tore down the edifice in order to construct the It is among the world's largest art deco Empire State Building. Almost immediately buildings and it was declared an official New after the hotel was closed, a new group of York City landmark in 1993. Today the investors decided to rebuild the building comprises a wide variety of facilities, Waldorf=Astoria and make it even greater including the hotel for short-term stays and than the first hotel of the same name. They also The Waldorf Towers residential suites brought back Lucius Boomer who had run the where guests live for periods of months to original, and they chose the architectural firm years. Among the Waldorf's most famous of Schultze & Weaver to design the building residents were Cole Porter, whose Steinway this time around. In October 1929, plans for baby grand piano sits in the Cocktail Terrace,
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and Frank Sinatra, who Masterful Design lived at the hotel Art deco, the primary architectural style of the whenever he was in New building, made its debut at the Exposition York. Notably, the rent Intérnationale des Arts Décoratifs Industriels et of such suites today is Modernes in Paris in 1925. New York City's $80,000 per month; most famous art deco landmarks include the contracts are secured Empire State Building (built in 1930), the through Sotheby's. Chrysler Building (1930) and Rockefeller Among the hotel's Center (1932-40). The style not only unique features are two permeated architecture from the mid-1920's separate lobbies, a through 1940, it appeared in home furnishings kitchen that comprises a as well. For decorative details, Schultze and full city block (one of the world's largest), six Weaver employed the stylized forms and restaurants and bars, an automobile elevator, a geometric designs of art deco filtered through four-story ballroom, and even a salon run by simple New York modernism. The wide Kenneth, who styled the hair of Jackie variety of materials that they employed Kennedy and Marilyn Monroe. Residents of included rich marbles and woods, hand- The Waldorf Towers have access to these painted murals, meticulously woven rugs, amenities but they enter through a separate, plaster reliefs with gilding, and nickel accents. private lobby. At The Waldorf Towers part of Today the Waldorf=Astoria is worth visiting for the complex are the royal and presidential its nod to art deco alone. The Wheel of Life suites, each renting for $7,500 per night. The mosaic centered in the Park Avenue lobby is an Presidential Suite boasts having housed every uncommon artwork created by Frenchman American President since Herbert Hoover. The Louis Rigal in 1939. Unfortunately during the Waldorf Towers is also the official residence of 1950's and '60's, art deco became passé and so the United States Ambassador to the United many of the Waldorf's most exquisite art deco Nations making it quite possibly the world's elements were discarded as the hotel was only hotel that doubles as an embassy. updated. But from the early 1980's, the hotel has been undergoing restoration to its original state, with an investment that has thus far topped $400 million.
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edge in its design because it was constructed after the European opera house over four levels. The ceiling is forty-four feet high and it seats up to 1600 guests. The custom-made chandelier is a whopping 16 feet in diameter. There is also a stage so large and well equipped that it is capable of hosting Broadway shows. The distinctively large elevators for the Grand Ballroom were designed to accommodate women with the wide, flowing gowns that were stylish of the time. And a rare element is the Waldorf's indoor automobile elevator, which enabled auto shows to be held in the Grand Ballroom. At one point, it even transported a circus elephant. In addition to the myriad innovative design elements, the Waldorf was planned to be managed as efficiently as possible. Modernity was in full swing, so Schultze and Weaver The architects Schultze and Weaver wanted the movement to be reflected in the ensured that not only was the building functioning of the updated Waldorf=Astoria. attractive but that it was innovative techno- Their reputation as one of the premier hotel logically. In 1931 the Waldorf set the standard design firms developed from their ability to of hotels for the future. The most alluring combine logical design with attractive nightclub of New York was part of the decoration-central to their plans was the need Waldorf when it opened: the Starlight Roof. to create a balance between a homelike and The name came from its distinctive retractable businesslike environment. The architects roof that exposed patrons to the night sky. developed a place where people would want to There, big bands such as Glenn Miller and live luxuriously and also where they would be Tommy Dorsey entertained New York's elite. comfortable during business trips, with a profit- The expansive Grand Ballroom was cutting- driven logic behind the design. The
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technological systems inherent to the function participating in a fashion show of sorts, as one of an enterprise with 1,410 rooms were cascaded through the twisting spaces. First a communication, climate control, electricity, the guest climbed a few steps to enter the Park production of and serving of great amounts of Avenue lobby, then she would saunter across food, and cleaning laundry. Schultze and the Circle of Life mosaic, next she would Weaver coordinated these systems beautifully. ascend to the Grand Ballroom via staircases or There evolved a hierarchy among the armies of the great elevators, and finally she would float employees required to run these systems: into the ballroom. The pattern holds true still. managers, chefs, dishwashers, laundry people, The Peacock Alley Restaurant and Lounge are tradesmen, waiters, bellhops, chambermaids. named after the corridor that connected the The oven of the Waldorf's vast kitchen is large first buildings of the Waldorf=Astoria in 1897. enough to fit seventy-five turkeys, and it has People strutted back and forth along the remained turned on since the day that the “alley” displaying their wealth, much “like hotel opened in 1931. Schultze and Weavers' peacocks preening,” as has been said. farsighted planning led to the increased Working-class New Yorkers would visit the standardization of hotel layouts and services, hotel regularly just to watch the well-to-do and and it contributed to the popularization of the observe the excitement. chain hotel. The Waldorf=Astoria itself has been bought by the Hilton hotel company. An American Icon The Waldorf=Astoria came to be known as High Society “the unofficial palace of New York,” where the From its inception, The Waldorf=Astoria was a extravagance of European castles merged with center of New York's social life. Schultze and democratic American values. Socio-economic Weaver purposely designed the hallways, hierarchies dissolved, if only temporarily. The staircases and terraces off Park Avenue to hotel was open to anyone who could pay for its maximize the flow and gathering of the well services, even if only once in a great while. dressed. Large rooms for high society The Waldorf=Astoria and similar hotels (the entertainment were placed near Park Avenue, Sherry-Netherland (1927) and the Pierre while the more casual Savarin Restaurant, (1929-30) were also designed by Schultze & Norse Grill, and the barbershop were near the Weaver) made it possible for a great many New less chic Lexington Avenue entrance. Yorkers to be married in an opulent ballroom, Attending a ball at the Waldorf meant not just those fortunate few who owned city
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mansions. And yet, people need not even venture to New York to witness the hotel's sumptuousness, as numerous movies have been filmed there over the years, including Weekend at the Waldorf (1945) with Ginger Rogers and Lana Turner, Hannah and Her Sisters (1986), Scent of a Woman (1992), You've Got Mail (1998), and Maid in Manhattan (2002). Today the hotel is a household name, yet it has maintained its reputation for magnificence. Who has not heard of “Waldorf salad,” the apple and walnut concoction invented by the hotel's kitchen? The Grand Ballroom continues to host elegant events, and the Bull & Bear bar is still full of businessmen drinking martinis and following the tickertape smartly placed on the wall. The name “Waldorf=Astoria” still connotes the extravagance that draws travelers from all corners of the globe. The cultural significance of the Waldorf=Astoria is twofold: it has shaped the social life of the country and it is a monument to Americana. It is a living, ever- evolving lavish escape from daily life. That is unless, of course, you happen to call the Waldorf home.
For Further Reading
Molly W. Berger (Editor), et al. The Journal of Decorative and Propaganda Arts 25: The American Hotel. The MIT Press (2005)
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magazines
If Vogue is the fashion Bible, then Gotham, published by Jason Binn, is the Big Apple’s own guide to the chic.
Whether in LA, New York, Boston, D.C., the Source.” And [for Boston Common] Kate Hamptons, or Aspen, what does it take for someone to Gibbs, who was the AOL Citysearch managing get on Jason Binn’s radar screen, as an arbiter of style? editor in Boston; we hired the executive editor of Boston Magazine. So, you know, we have You know, it’s not about my radar. Basically, strong people in each market who are very what we do is we have a team in every city of connected to those leaders, and we rally a around 40-45 local contributors. The group of people together. contributors who are on our radar are boldface And we don’t take digs at people—we names, people who are leaders in their celebrate the markets and the people. If we go categories, whether it’s Raul Felder doing to a restaurant and we do a review and it’s not Divorce Court, or the Hearst family doing the good, they’re not going to write about it. Hearst Diaries in New York, Brett Ratner They’re not going to tell you why you shouldn’t doing “Whats Hot and What’s Not” in L.A. go there, they’re going to tell you why you As advertisers, it’s the biggest and best brands should go there. in each market. High-end luxury brands, those who get on our radar. So it’s always going to be positive?
How do you get contributors who are at the tops of Positive stuff, all local content. their games? Have your editors ever said to you “We have a It’s relationships, it’s the product, it’s the responsibility to say what’s hot and what’s not? editors luring people. For Capitol File in Washington [D.C.], we hired Anne Schroeder We do “What’s Hot and What’s Not” or things from the Washington Post, the “Reliable you should know and things you shouldn’t
By Jonathon Scott Feit
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know. We do an In/Out list and fun things. influencers. Our magazines are very But we don’t do investigative things. We don’t passionate, very connected to the community. read between the lines—we keep it light, with just the right amount of information. Why magazines?
When you started out back in 1993 [not long after I had this guy walk up to me and say, “You Hurricane Andrew], with Ocean Drive in Miami, was know all these great people, you seem like there a willingness among the readers and the advertisers you’re in the right place all the time, do you to embrace a new magazine? ever make money with all these people you know?” I said, “Not really.” He said, “Well, It’s a community. Local magazines—people are you’re a fool. You should be doing something very passionate about them who live in those more.” markets. The books hit pretty fast, but if you don’t put out the right book, you’ll fail really fast. So our job is to put together a great team of writers, a great team of salespeople, make sure we have a great environment, make sure we do great events. Because at the end of the day, we’re not a national magazine. If you pick up a national magazine, and 10-15% of it speaks to you, you’re happy. Here it’s got to hit everyone; it’s a local book.
How does one come to a Gotham event?
It’s celebrating what we do. And we take the editorial content—like Diane Lane, we did the premiere, or Jeremy Piven with Entourage— our job is to take the editorial content and bring it to life in an interactive way. Where we draw in the consumers, the advertisers, and the
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66 **New44 York** 66 City
NEW YORK. NEW YORK. Big city, big dreams, but everything in the NYC is not always what it seems, especially when assessing the nightlife. The 6*4*6 is a cheat sheet for the Young In a city as big as New York you need to know Professional. A short hand guide that is where you are going or you may end up in easy to use and portable. We take the some pseudo-pub in Times Square dropping hottest six of sixteen categories and update nine dollars on a Guinness. them every six weeks. (Get it: six for six.) Here the first installement of the 6*4*6 comes We dare you to disagree. Email in handy. We’re your go-to reference for the [email protected] with your perfect date place or late night cheeseburger. complaints and suggestions, but we’ve been If you are in town for vacation, print out the to all these places and we know they are the 6*4*6, throw it in your carry-on and refer to it best. We are rarely wrong. Rest assured throughout your trip. It's the only guaranteed that you’re in good hands with the 6*4*6. way to get a great scene with bang for your buck. No more nights bar hopping, wandering aimlessly. You get the point. We do too. Welcome to New York—enjoy responsibly.
By Sanford Kunkel and Casey Spear
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Retailers Clubs 1 * Poker Room Soho 110 Wooster 1 * Home 532 West 27th St 2 * Jeffrey 449 West 14th St 2 * Cain 544 West 27th St 3 * Bergdorf Goodman 754 Fifth Ave 3 * BED 530 West 27th St 4 * Legacy 109 Thompson St 4 * Guest House 542 West 27th St 5 * Nike iD 255 Elizabeth St 5 * Marquee 289 Tenth Ave 6 * Vespa Soho 13 Crosby St 6 * Duvet 45 West 21st St Hotels Culture Etc. 1 * 60 Thompson 60 Thompson St 1 * MoMA 11 West 53rd St 2 * Tribeca Grand 2 Ave of the Americas 2 * Museum of Sex 233 Fifth Ave 3 * SoHo House 29-35 Ninth Ave 3 * Tenement Museum 97 Orchard St 4 * THOR 107 Rivington St 4 * The Guggenheim 1071 Fifth Ave 5 * Gansevoort Hotel 18 Ninth Ave 5 * NY Transit Museum Grand Central 6 * Mercer Hotel 147 Mercer St 6 * National Design Museum 2 East 91st Bars / Lounges Restaurants 1 * Hudson Bar 356 West 58th St 1 * Da Silvano 260 Sixth Avenue 2 * Garden of Ono 18 Ninth Ave 2 * Stanton Social 99 Stanton Street 3 * Siberia 356 West 40th St 3 * Wolfgang's Steakhouse 4 Park Avenue 4 * Delancey 168 Delancey St 4 * Balthazar 80 Spring St 5 * Bowery Bar 358 Bowery St 5 * Strip House 13 East 12th St 6 * Stone Rose 10 Columbus Circle 6 * Megu 62 Thomas St
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Specialty Bars LIVE! 1 * Inoteca 98 Rivington St 1 * Bowery Ballroom 6 Delancey St 2 * Club Macanudo 26 East 63rd St 2 * Comedy Cellar 117 MacDougal St 3 * Suba 109 Ludlow St 3 * Irving Plaza 17 Irving Pl 4 * Kittichai 60 Thompson St 4 * Arlene's Grocery 95 Stanton St 5 * Bar @ Etats Unis 247 East 81st St 5 * Blue Note Jazz 131 West 3rd St 6 * Grand Havana Room 666 Fifth Ave 6 * The Lenox Lounge 288 Lenox Ave Feel Good Food Real Estate 1 * Lombardi's 32 Spring St 1 * 200 Chambers 2 * Pommes Frites 123 Second Ave 2 * 15 Central Park West 3 * Wo Hop 17 Mott St 3 * 50 Grammercy Park North 4 * Burger Joint 118 West 57th St 4 * 1 Madison Avenue 5 * Magnolia Bakery 401 Bleecker St 5 * 80 South Street 6 * Pop Burger 58-60 Ninth Ave 6 * 1600 Broadway
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Cheap Eats 1 * Corner Bistro 331 West 4th St 2 * The Dumpling Man 100 St. Marks Pl 3 * Mamouns 119 MacDougal St 4 * Hummus Place 109 St. Marks Pl 5 * Café el Portal 174 Elizabeth St 6 * Grilled Cheese NYC 168 Ludlow St Cheap Drinks 1 * Off The Wagon 109 MacDougal St 2 * Croxley Ales 28 Ave B 3 * Brother Jimmy's 1485 Second Ave 4 * McSorley's 15 East Seventh St 5 * Peculiar Pub 145 Bleecker St 6 * Barrow Street Ale House 15 Barrow St Only In ______Alt 1 * Russian Baths 268 E 10th St 1 * Roxy 515 W 18th St 2 * East Broadway 2 * XL Lounge 357 W 16th St 3 * Umberto's 178 Mulberry St. 3 * The Slide 356 Bowery 4 * Katz's 205 E Houston St 4 * Girlsroom 210 Rivington St 5 * Rainbow Room 49 W 49th St 5 * Starlight 167 Ave A 6 * Diamond District W 47th St 6 * Barrage 401 W 47th St Adult Joe 1 * Scores East 333 E 60th St 1 * Circa Tabac 32 Watts St 2 * Executive Club 603 W 45th St 2 * Café Noir 32 Grand St 3 * VIP Club 20 W 20th St 3 * Porto Rico 201 Bleecker St 4 * Lace 725 7th Ave 4 * Caffe Reggio 119 Macdougal St 5 * Pussycat Lounge 96 Greenwich St 5 * Mona Lisa Café 122 Christopher St 6 * Rick's Cabaret 50 W 33rd St 6 * Café Edison 228 W 47th St
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THE GOOD, THE BAD AND THE UGLY: BEST AND WORST ALBUMS OF 2005
Since 1993, Jack DeVoss has been on-air at Columbus, Ohio's CD101 (WWCD- lines FM), one of the nation's premiere Alternative Rock radio stations. DeVoss was made CD101's Music Director in 1998 and has been rocking the faces of a disenchanted generation ever since.
GOLD IN YOUR STOCKING: The White Stripes—Get Behind Me Satan (Third Man/V2) Looking like Charleton Heston in the movie Touch of Evil hasn't stopped Jack White from providing an emphatic yes & to the age-old question: “Did rock-n- roll need more marimba?” From true blue alt rock to 70's guitar anthem, to Appalachian folk and almost everything in between, Get Behind Me Satan grows deeper the sound The White Stripes CITIZEN CULTURE’S BAND OF 2005: defined on their previous efforts White Blood Cells and the smash hit Elephant. Franz Ferdinand Forget any notion of a slump. This is album of the year by a landslide. The lads from Glasgow sit atop the music world. Does Standout tracks include “My Doorbell,” sophomore album You Could Have It So Much Better “Little Ghost,” “Blue Orchid.” make the charmed foursome any less loveable?
The New Pornographer—Twin HEN A BAND SCORES A MEGA HIT WITH ITS DEBUT Cinema (Matador) W Founded by A.C. Newman, this super album, as Franz Ferdinand did with their 2004 self- group of Indie Rock's best has a titled smash, the events leading up to the release of revolving lineup that includes the their follow-up album go roughly like this: music amazing Neko Case, Dan Bejar of critics anticipate something different from the band, Destroyer and John Collins of Thee By Garin Pirnia 106 Citizen Culture corrections 11/22/05 11:17 AM Page 107
Goblins. Newman's songwriting talents perfectly complement his stable of all- stars. Standout tracks include “Use It,” “Twin Cinema,” “Sing Me Spanish Techno.” lists and demand that the band change their sound a bit- but not too much. These critics are not satisfied unless Doves—Some Cities (Capitol) a band positively re-invents rock 'n' roll in some way; The rock-n-roll recipe that Manchester's &if the band does not, then it is scrutinized to death. Doves used to make this treat was See The Strokes circa their 2003 second album Room simple: a dash of The Jam, sprinkled on Fire. Franz Ferdinand definitely fits into the lightly with Joe Jackson, and then category of the über-scrutinized—and why not? They covered in a delicious Motown glaze. became instant critical and commercial darlings in Put in your CD player for forty-seven minutes. Serve chilled with the lights 2004, when their debut album caught on like wildfire down low. Standout tracks include in the U.K., then spread to the States and further, “Snowden,” “Black and White Town,” ravaging the world with masterful songs “Take Me “Some Cities.” Out,“ “This Fire” and “Jacqueline.” They sold millions of records and even contributed their hits to promote Playstations and the film In Good Company. The band also attached themselves firmly to the U.K. Post-Punk revival, managed so well by bands like Bloc Party and the Futureheads—descendents of 1980s acts like Public Image Ltd., Orange Juice and The Cure. Franz Ferdinand have not revolutionized rock 'n' roll. But they have brought about a very unique combination of genres, taking Post-Punk's
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The Decemberists—Picaresque (Kill Rock Stars) attributes—heavy bass lines, gritty guitars and With a voice like his, lead singer Colin brooding sentiments—and adding something unique Meloy could easily be the bastard love child of Michael Stipe, Morissey, and to the fold: infectious pop melodies that you can the guy from Drivin-n-Cryin whose dance to. name no one knows. Somehow it works. So all eyes were on the four Scotsmen in October It's about time that Portland, Oregon when Domino Records released the band's produced something that wasn't a strip confidently titled follow-up You Could Have It So Much club. Standout tracks include “16 Better. And Franz Ferdinand do not disappoint. But Military Wives,” “We Both Go Down Together,” “The Sporting Life.” they don't surprise, either. The band continues to crank out more bass-driven songs, even if they lack some of the shimmering luster of those on the previous effort. The album opens strongly with “Fallen”, as the band re-introduces brazen guitar beats, “whoo-hoos” and dark lyrical undertones. The next track, “Do You Want To,” is the album's centerpiece and vies to achieve the brilliance of 2004's “Take Me Out,” beginning slowly then shifting into an unpredictable direction, complete with a droning bass and catchy chorus: "You're so lucky, lucky!" Bloc Party—Silent Alarm Next, frontman Alex Kapranos sings about a (Vice/Dim Mak) Rising to the top of the heap of breakup in the well-written “Walk Away,” then follows modern "Haircut Bands" like Franz it with the all-over-the-place “Evil and a Heathen.” Ferdinand, The Futureheads and Hot With cloying piano melodies, the band demonstrates a Hot Heat, London's Bloc Party polish sentimental side with the Lennon- and McCartney- the Brand New Wave sound and then influenced ballad “Eleanor Put Your Boots On.” make it their bitch. Frontman Kele Then the album stalls briefly; the next three songs Okerere certainly could pass for Robert Smith of The Cure audibly, if not blur together until the advent of the title track, “You physically, and his band mates are top- Could Have It So Much Better,” which performs only notch musicians of the first order. slightly above average with its churning guitars and Standout tracks include “Banquet,” vocals. The penultimate track, “Fade Together,” “Helicopter,” “Like Eating Glass.” salvages the end of the album. It's a melancholic and wistful piano/steel-pedal guitar song that offers this contradiction: “Once you have loved someone this
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COAL IN YOUR STOCKING: much you doubt it could fade…you'd like it to fade." Limp Bizkit—Unquestionable "Outsiders" closes the album on a sea of funky-disco- Truth Part One (Flip/Interscope) Fred Durst shows his all-out contempt synth rhythms that make it easy to forget the for humanity with this vile album, which underwhelming middle tracks. can only really be classified as a criminal By now we know what to expect from Franz act-if not for the fact that he blatantly Ferdinand: fun music and songs that never become plagiarizes Rage Against The Machine, too heavy-handed and stay well away from the then just for the simple reason that political arena. You Could Have It So Much Better is rap/metal died out seven years ago. This isn't an album, it's abuse of a neither better nor worse than their debut, but as an corpse. It's only twenty-nine minutes album it is stronger as a whole than as a collection of long, but if you manage to make it individual gems. Elements from their previous release through the first five, you are either the remain, but Alex Kapranos and team have welcomed strongest person alive, or one of the in some experimentations and varied arrangements. people Fred Durst pays to hang out with You Could Have It So Much Better may not break any him. new barriers, but this is both a disc that their fans can Backstreet Boys—Never Gone (Jive) appreciate and an album of which they can be proud. If video went and killed the radio star, Fortunately for Franz Ferdinand, such a combination then American Idol has killed the boy often makes for a prolific—and rich—band. If it ain't band. Like a once great boxer who just broke, don't fix it. Just don't tell that to The Strokes. can't accept he's past his prime, the Backstreet Boys (are you really a boy if you've been picked up for a D.U.I.?) try to re-create themselves by ripping off lines White Stripes Coldplay and Bon Jovi. Just like that lists at Keyspan Park, Coney Island washed-up boxer, all they're doing now & is embarrassing themselves. It's over September 24, 2005 fellas. Sorry.
THE WHITE STRIPES USED TO PLAY SWEATY CLUBS, with cramped stages so conducive to the confusingly erotic stare-downs between Jack and Meg White, back when people still believed they were brother and sister. Even now that the Stripes have reached superstardom, it's a little strange to see them at a venue like Coney Island's Keyspan Park, a minor- league baseball field that holds something like ten By Andrew Battle 109 CCm corrections 11/22/05 11:17 AM Page 110
CKY—An Answer Can Be Found (Island) When you attempt to be a skate-punk rock band you have to tread very carefully. If you do it wrong, like CKY with this album, it sounds like cats being skinned alive to a soundtrack by Alvin & The Chipmunks. With gems like, "Why put the gun to your head if you're already dead?", An Answer Can Be Found contains some of the most moronic lyrics ever written. Avoid it like you would a tax audit.
Mudvayne—Lost And Found (Epic) Are you angry? Because the members of costume rock band Mudvayne certainly are pissed off at something. I just thousand people. This is the White Stripes, arena- haven't quite figured out what exactly, but my best guess is that Halloween only rock style. Now there are props, big peppermint- comes once a year. Only listen to this colored ferns and hanging silk-screens to go with the sustained noise if you're really ticked candy-striped guitars and amplifiers scattered around that mom and dad won't let you get that the stage. third nose-ring. While opening acts Brendan Benson and the Shins offered up delicate sounds that seemed ill suited The Dead 60's—The Dead 60's (Epic) for the stadium-rock atmosphere, the Stripes' raw, The Clash were one of the greatest pounding anthems make the club-to-arena transition bands ever. The Dead 60's certainly less difficult. Their new stage show is impressive, agree-their debut record is an retaining the stark red and white theme that is their "amazing" likeness of The Clash's 1980 trademark, while incorporating strange new double album, Sandinista! This isn't a curiosities like the spray-painted ferns and tiny terrible album, but the similarities to the Clash are so uncanny, Joe Strummer's statuettes that sit atop the amplifiers. estate probably earns all royalties. All stage decorations in place, the Stripes made a modest entrance and proceeded to stomp and howl their way through their now-extensive catalogue, reaching as far back as their debut album for some of the songs that made them famous, such as “Cannon”
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and “Screwdriver.” Here was a glimpse of the White THE TOP TEN Stripes of old—two earnest kids tearing through riff FILMS OF 2005 after brutal riff with the deliberate and extreme minimalism that made their style seem so fresh and Citizen Culture presents 10 gems from strange when they first surfaced. 2005-some the beneficiaries of well- The contrast between the older tunes and the deserved buzz, and a few that have newer material made it clear just how far the Stripes' flown squarely under the radar. Oscar sound has come since those early days. Songs like season is right around the corner, and to “My Doorbell” and “The Nurse” (both from their the Academy we say: take heed. latest album, Get Behind Me Satan) gave Jack White a chance to showcase his talents on an enormous marimba. They also provide a lesson in how to stretch the sonic limits of a two-piece combo. Nearly all the newer material vibrates with this sort of tension; one can sense the Stripes' desire to overcome the musical restrictions on their limited setup. To compensate for the lack of band mates, the Stripes have altered their M.O. in ways both subtle and drastic. Most striking is the sheer array of instruments Jack White has placed at his disposal—several microphones, a bevy of guitars, marimba, cymbals, tympanis, and a full-size grand piano-each one complete with its own set of effects that twist and Crash Lions Gate Films distort the sound into unrecognizable patterns. These Paul Haggis' big-screen meditation on elements deliver a set of sounds that simply did not race relations in Los Angeles is the year's exist for the White Stripes of old. Jack White used best example of incendiary, powerful to belt out the blues in a simple, high-pitched whine; filmmaking. No other film generated at Keyspan Park, with the aid of an echo box, his such conversation from controversy. voice transformed into a reckless shriek from hell that Unfairly criticized for being too melodramatic and perpetuating shot through the ocean breeze on this chilly night. stereotypes, its characters are anything The Stripes long ago ceased to be the Indie Rock but one-dimensional, and performances darlings they once were. At this show—like all of are excellent across the board. Standouts them now—frat boys, teenage girls, and middle-aged include Terrence Howard (also great in suburbanites far outnumbered card-carrying hipsters. Hustle and Flow), Michael Pena, and Matt Dillon as a racist cop.
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The question must be asked: just how far will the White Stripes lean towards commercialism? After five albums and hundreds of live shows, will they continue to labor under the burden of their two-piece setup, or will the Stripes be joined next time on the Keyspan Park stage by band mates? Given the frantic pace with which they pile album upon album, there's no doubt we'll soon know the answer.
Murderball lines Thinkfilm/MTV films lists Year of the The year's most tragic documentary is & also its most triumphant. Murderball is Doomsday Book a stunning portrait of wheelchair-bound young men who take out their life's Despite new novels from the likes of Zadie Smith and Salman frustrations on the handball court. Rushdie—and the record-selling sixth installment of Harry Americans may not be ready to see a Potter—2005 was a slow year for fiction. It was non-fiction movie about quadriplegics, but that gave us some of the year's most noteworthy publishing Murderball handles the subject with such grace that it is impossible not to trends. One of the hardest-hitting concerns national security: root for its courageous heroes. The the theme of fear and the future of terrorism. athletes are truly modern-day gladiators, and breakout star Mark Zupan is the SINCE THE SEPTEMBER 11, 2001 TERRORIST ATTACKS, type of athlete-and person-more kids many books decrying the United States government's should look to as a role model. missteps and missed warnings regarding the day's tragedy have been published with exceptional Cinderella Man Universal Pictures alacrity. Their number reaches into the hundreds— Houston, we have a problem here. conspiracy theorists, scholars, politicians, and policy- Apollo 13 director Ron Howard's makers all author these tomes. Journalists and underappreciated film got lost in the cultural commentators try their hand at them, too. summer shuffle, and despite AMC To be sure, there is no shortage of voices and Theaters offering dissatisfied viewers opinions in the literature on 9/11 and terrorism. their money back, no one saw it anyway. Russell Crowe's performance is at once The year 2005 in publishing continued this both jaw- and heart-breaking as literature-on-terrorism trend. However, 2005 saw Depression-era boxer Jim J. Braddock, a deviations from the strict rehashing of September man who fought to feed his family and By Amy O’Loughlin 112 Citizen Culture corrections 11/22/05 11:17 AM Page 113
became a national hero. Howard's 11th's who, what, when, where, why, and how; a sub- camerawork in the ring is masterful and trend was created within the terrorism genre. he gets a great performance from Renee Zellwegger-but it's Paul Giamatti who Publishers in 2005 released books based on the steals the show once again, as theme of fear, outlining the dangers of what could Braddock's feisty trainer. happen in the next terrorist attack-which all purport is inevitable—and the U.S.'s continuing vulnerability should catastrophe strike. Many of these books censure the country's culture of political correctness.
Grizzly Man Lions Gate Films Filmmaker Werner Herzog is not only famous for making great documentaries, but for choosing truly compelling subjects. His latest effort profiles animal activist Timothy Treadwell, a man who lived amongst wild bears for thirteen summers. That Treadwell lost his life to the very creatures he spent his life trying to protect makes this extraordinary look And doomsday-esque titles with words like at man's struggle to tame nature all the “apocalypse,” “infiltration,” and “crisis” accentuate more harrowing. Grizzly Man is a the fear factor, as do the books' dust jackets, which tribute to Treadwell's Herculean efforts emblazon these anxiety-triggers in bold, block and the dynamic personality that pushed lettering usually in eye-catching red or black coloring. him to his limits. For instance, there's The Next Attack: The Failure of A History of Violence the War on Terror and a Strategy for Getting It Right by New Line Cinema Daniel Benjamin and Steven Simon (Times Books, David Cronenberg, filmmaker of the $26). It demonstrates “how the terrorist threat is bizarre, makes his most commercial film evolving, with a broadening array of tactics, an army with this character study set in a of new fighters and, most ominously, a widening base peaceful community torn apart by of support in the global Muslim community...Left on violence. Viggo Mortensen gives his best performance as Tom Stall, a family man
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performance as Tom Stall, a family man whose past catches up to him when a this trajectory, much worse faces us in the near pair of gun-toting bad guys attempt to future.” rob his quaint diner. Ed Harris and Benjamin states that the U.S. faces a longer and William Hurt are great in supporting turns and Maria Bello lends depth to her bloodier confrontation with radical Islam in part role as Tom's wife. While it features because of the American-led war in Iraq. The Next plenty of sex and violence, A History of Attack, as it's been critiqued, is a “chilling” portrayal Violence (written by Josh Olson) is more of why the terrorist threat “[is] not over yet.” There's about the pasts we're afraid to confront good reason to be apprehensive, we learn. and the secrets we're afraid to share, even with our loved ones.
Capote Sony Picture Classics Phillip Seymour Hoffman gives one of the year's best performances as the incredibly gifted but troubled writer Truman Capote. Hoffman's portrayal is spot on, from Capote's delicate speech to his uncanny ability to find redemption in cold-blooded murderer Perry Smith (played by an impressively brooding Clifton Collins Jr.). Bennett Miller's directorial debut is utterly haunting, and Dan Futterman's script gives an incredibly balanced portrait of Capote, who may have exploited his subjects to Similarly, Annie Jacobsen's Terror in the Skies: Why get the information he needed from 9-11 Could Happen Again (Spence Publishing; $24.95) them. Catherine Keener co-stars as To instills uneasiness in us. It tells of the suspicious Kill A Mockingbird author Harper Lee. activity of fourteen Middle Eastern men during Jacobsen's Northwest Airlines Flight #327 from The Squid and the Whale Detroit to Los Angeles in 2004. Samuel Goldwyn Films / Sony Pictures Releasing International Jacobsen, a writer for womenswallstreet.com, Life Aquatic co-writer Noah Baumbach observed that after take-off the men congregated in makes his directorial debut with this groups of two or three at the back of the plane, used humorous portrait of a family thrown the lavatories in consecutive order, and carried with into disarray by divorce. Jeff Daniels and them cellular phones, cameras, and a curious-looking Laura Linney are excellent as intellectual McDonald's bag. Jacobsen's husband alerted the flight Park Slope, Brooklyn parents circa 1986,
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trying to raise their children the right way. Jesse Eisenberg is perfect as their oldest son who sides with Dad, while 14 year-old Owen Kline proves he may have inherited his father Kevin's unique sense of humor. A brilliant, honest look at a dysfunctional family, inspired by Baumbach's own turbulent childhood.
The Beautiful Country Sony Picture Classics Arguably the best film at this year's Tribeca Film Festival, The Beautiful Country is the feature film debut of Norwegian director Hans Petter attendant, who told him that the crew was aware of Moland. The film features a gut- the situation and that air marshals were on board. wrenching performance from newcomer Prior to landing, seven of the men stood in unison Damien Nguyen as a Vietnamese immigrant who comes to America in and went into the lavatories. The last man to exit ran search of his father (Nick Nolte), a U.S. his forefinger across his neck and mouthed the word soldier during the Vietnam War. Along "No" to one of his companions. the way he finds help from a vicious Federal and local agents met the men after they ship captain (Tim Roth) and a beautiful disembarked, and insisted that they were members of prostitute (Bai Ling). Lush photography a Syrian band. Jacobsen didn't buy the agents' and a haunting score complete this treatise on hope and perseverance. explanation. She believes she witnessed a “dry run,” a
new tactic conducted by Islamic militants to explode The Baxter passenger planes by bringing components of explosive IFC Films devices onboard and assembling them in-flight. A hilarious throwback to the screwball After much media scrutiny of Jacobsen's claims- romantic comedies of the 1940's, the and hearings held by the U.S. House Judiciary film features Michael Showalter as the Committee, at which Jacobsen testified-she discloses in baxter-a successful accountant, but love's ultimate loser. Brought to you by Terror in the Skies that many of the federal agents much of the same team who made Wet involved in the events of Flight 327 stand firm in their Hot American Summer, The Baxter is a opinion that “nothing happened.” And, as Jacobsen refreshing comedy that doesn't resort to affirms, we can no longer afford to take “nothing frat-house antics to score a laugh. happened” for an answer. Michelle Williams has never been so adorable and intoxicating.
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My Date With Drew DEJ Productions Infiltration: How Muslim Spies and Subversives Have An obnoxious lout has $1100 and 30 Penetrated Washington by Paul Sperry (Nelson Current; days to win a date with Drew Barrymore. Fat chance, right? The fun $24.99), informs us of how “Muslims masquerading flows freely as endearing man-child as 'moderates' have insinuated themselves into the Brian Herzlinger tries to use his very fabric of American society...[T]hese Islamist Hollywood connections (he even books extremists have been covertly working to destroy our an appointment with Drew's facialist to constitutional government and the Judeo-Christian get the inside scoop) to score some alone ethics on which our nation was built. Their goal . . . is time with the "Charlie's Angels" beauty. to replace the U.S. Constitution with the Quran and Watching Herzlinger fight for the Average Joe will have you smiling from turn America into an Islamic state.” Infiltration is start to finish. This is the perfect movie praised as “informative,” “gutsy and honest,” and for any guy who has ever had a crush “one of the best books on the Islamic threat...”; it’s on an unattainable girl. also derided as “inflammatory and borderline racist,” “pathetic,” and capitalizing on Americans' fear of Jeff Sneider terrorism. Other titles that follow this sub-trend include Al Qaeda Connection: International Terrorism, Organized Crime, and the Coming Apocalypse by Paul L Williams (Prometheus Books, $25); Countdown to Crisis: The Coming Nuclear Showdown with Iran by Kenneth R. Timmerman (Crown Forum, $29.95); Countdown to Terror: The Top-Secret Information That Could Prevent the Next Terrorist Attack on America...and How the CIA Has Ignored It by Curt Weldon (Regnery Publishing, $27.95); Future Jihad: Terrorist Strategies Against America by Walid Phares (Palgrave MacMillan, $24.95). Whether it is conservatives or liberals, Right- or Left-wing conspirators, or political sages who write these books, they inculcate into American society a higher level of fear. In doing so, one hopes that they—and the publishers who print their books—are trying to galvanize American society. However, perpetuating fear in order to sell books is a dangerously slippery slope on which to embark.
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lines lists&
Chameleon Christian Bale
LONG GONE ARE THE DAYS OF “CHRISTIAN Before Christopher Nolan begins pre- Bale? You know, he was the kid in Empire of the production on the next Batman film, in which Sun. At 31 years old and 22 years into a career he and Michael Caine have thus far signed to that is well en route to mainstream stardom, reprise their roles, Bale and Hugh Jackman will his status as one of Entertainment Weekly's “Top 8 pair up for Nolan in The Prestige, based on the Most Powerful Cult Figures” might be in 1996 novel of the same name by Christopher jeopardy. Priest. But before that even gets officially Not bad for a guy who lost out to Chris green-lit by Touchstone Pictures, Bale is in O'Donnell to play Robin in 1995's Batman Thailand wrapping Rescue Dawn, a 2006 release Forever. that Bale will lead. The movie is based on a By Amanda Feuerman 118 with John Black Citizen Culture corrections 11/22/05 11:17 AM Page 119
Christian Charles Phillip Bale was born in Wales in 1974, the youngest of four, to a circus dancer mother and a commercial airline pilot. His youth was divided among England, Portugal, and California. Growing up, Bale was surrounded by family steeped in the history of the entertainment industry, since Great Uncle Rex was a film actor, distant cousin Lilly Langtry was a prominent Victorian stage actress, Grandpa was a children's entertainer and doubled for John Wayne in two movies, and his stepmother was none other than the renowned Gloria Steinhem. He began his career at just nine years old, starring in television commercials and following his sister, Louise, to acting workshops. His first major role on the London stage opposite Rowan Atkinson (Mr. Bean) in a comedy called The Nerd. true story about a fighter pilot shot down over The slow rise to fame truly began when, at Laos during the Vietnam War. Bale's Dieter age 12, Bale beat out 4000 other auditions for Dengler organized a death-defying escape for a the role of James Graham in Steven small band of prisoners of war. Spielberg's epic Empire of the Sun (1987). The Connoisseurs can barely wait to see Bale National Board of Review created an award in the reclusive Terrence Malick's next movie, for a juvenile performance purely to award it The New World. This project, in which he stars to Bale for Empire. The film went on to earn alongside Colin Farrell, is about John Smith six Academy Award nominations, six BAFTA's and Pocahontas. The two leading men will (winning three), and garnered an additional then reteam to shoot I'm Not There: Suppositions award for Bale—the “Young Artists Award.” on a Film Concerning Dylan, also starring Cate A cult following began; his Internet fame Blanchett, Richard Gere, and Julian Moore. grew. The hardest of the hardcore Christian * * * * Bale devotees, who refer to themselves as
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...“it's the first Batman movie Winona Ryder and Bret Easton Ellis, has co- starred alongside Ewan McGregor, Emily that pleases the hardcore Watson, Frances McDormand, Nicolas Cage, graphic novel fans, but it's Samuel Jackson, Kevin Kline, and Michelle Pfeiffer, in roles that have spanned the also something that people spectrum. Bale he has tackled Shakespeare (A who are not familiar with it Midsummer Night's Dream), high-effects action (Equilibrium), and small budget independent can go along and enjoy.” features (Velvet Goldmine, American Psycho, Laurel Canyon). And then, the explosion. This year, Batman Begins made almost $400 million worldwide and, perhaps more “Baleheads,” have predicted great things for importantly, earned a coveted seal of approval the object of their collective affection. from the hardcore and the not-so-hardcore In 1992, Bale went through ten weeks of Bat-fans. In Bale's words, “it's the first Batman intense training so he could sing and dance in movie that pleases the hardcore graphic novel Newsies and then in 1993's Swing Kids. fans, but it's also something that people who Throughout, he did all of his own singing, are not familiar with it can go along and dancing and even mastered a street-wise New enjoy.” York accent for Newsies. In fact, to date, Bale Bale was able to quash any doubts anyone has used as many accents as he's made films— might have had about a non-American actor so many that otherwise uninformed fans taking the part. He also surpassed anyone's usually have no clue where he's from. expectations about his physical training, Bale has regretted not attending the handling it with a rare amount of zeal. On the prestigious Royal Academy of Dramatic Arts Batman set, his trailer nameplate read “Bruce (RADA), the London Academy of Music and Wayne.” The challenge Bale faced was having Dramatic Art (LAMDA), or the Central School just completed literally becoming Trevor of Speech And Drama. He was accepted to all Reznik for The Machinist. He had dropped 64 three at just twenty years old, but his parents pounds by eating mostly salad and fruit, convinced him to continue working. chewing gum, and smoking cigarettes-even His reputation started gaining stature. He though Bale is not a smoker-and drinking non- has been handpicked for roles by the likes of fat lattes.
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Bale explains: “I spoke to Chris [Nolan] while I was making The Machinist and he said I had to screen test for Batman at the beginning of September [2003]. This was the end of July. I was 121 pounds at the time and he asked me if I could put on any weight in that amount of time ‘because nobody is going to be convinced by my telling them you're the next Batman if you're like a toothpick,’ so I did have to put on a great deal of weight in a short amount of time. “Once they cast me, that's when the real effort started. I had to start getting strong because he's got no super powers. You have to look like you could be a brawler. He has to look like he really can do what you see him do. And it was cutting it very fine. I just got ready in time for the beginning of the shoot…The Machinist was more demanding mentally to start. Ultimately, once you get accustomed to the changes brought on by losing weight it was a much calmer and more comforting place to be. Gaining weight fast is really unhealthy. I actually felt hideous.” Fans can definitely expect to see Bale buffed up again in the 2008 sequel and most likely in a third dark knight film soon after that. Luckily, until then, a bevy of flicks (including the Batman Begins DVD) are on the way to entertain the Baleheads.
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the afternoon hours of 12 and 2 becomes a cacophony of deal-makings, expensive brainstorms, and requisite New York gossip- mongering. His right-hand man, general manager Steve Millington, caters to the finer points of the afternoon crunch, as he has for the past six years. Since Michael lives in California, where he got his start by catering for elites likes Steven Spielberg, it falls in Millington's kid gloves to remember the power players and headliners who frequent the restaurant—again and again and again, he says—by name. An unusual and appetizing muse inspires its walls and menus (including wine and dessert): color. A lunch guest of mine ordered homemade ravioli with prosciutto, summer peas, lines Michael’s New York and ricotta: in any less talented hands—ham lists & and cheese pasta, essentially. But the little Where to Earn overstuffed noodle squares were bulging and a Promotion rich; thankfully, sommelier L.A. Perkel picked out a perfectly balanced and slightly Over Lunch effervescent wine from one of 1000 bottles Michael's keeps in the cellar. What struck me They say we all put on our pants the same, we most, though (in addition to my pangs and all eat the same, and we enter and leave this slight jealousy that I hadn't ordered the ravioli), life the same. But lunchgoers to Michael's New was the presentation: a far cry from any York location (he has one in Los Angeles as traditional Italianate accompaniment, the well) have found a tastier, more delicately jazzy raviolis were speckled in a yogurt butter glaze way to power lunch. of green, orange, and tan. With a pat on the shoulder and a gait that The difference is no accident, since says “Important folks know me,” proprietor Michael's bills itself as “New American” Michael McCarty orchestrates what between cuisine—which, of course, like “fusion,” means By Jonathon Scott Feit 122 Citizen Culture corrections 11/22/05 11:17 AM Page 123
RESTAURANTS: ostensibly nothing. It could mean burgers and fries (with sides of delicately preserved pickle EDITORS’ PICKS: and a thirty dollar price tag); or it could mean roasted chicken and salad. And it does, but a DATE PLACES cobb salad—seemingly so simple!—manifested as at once artful and filling is intriguing enough to amuse even the most cynical reviewer. Mine was deeply green, shaped, and studded with enough avocado, bacon, and chicken that I wasn't hungry for about eight hours afterward. I've always wanted to use the word “orgasmic” in a review, mostly for the selfish reason of wanting to taste something sufficiently worthy of the descriptor. My long- sought pleasure was found in a genuine soup of apricot and raspberry in which a bolus of pistachio ice cream sublimates all too soon—a taste explosion. Casual: The ice cream fruit soup best encapsulates Nolita House 47 East House St., Manhattan Michael's success: from initial reaction to final taste, the underlying sensation say, “What a strange combination.” Like the jazz—nothing highbrow—piping through speakers while the world's media royalty schmooze among movers, shakers, (and me,) it's the taste—tart yet clean—that lingers.
Intimate: Archway 116 Pinhurst Avenue., Manhattan
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waves of mercy
A YEAR AGO I LEFT THE STREETS of New York for free on thousands who had no access to City for the shores of West Africa to serve as a medical care. The chief medical officer left Los volunteer photojournalist onboard a hospital Angeles to volunteer for two weeks—eighteen ship. I became a volunteer photojournalist years ago. with the humanitarian organization called I traded my spacious midtown loft for a Mercy Ships, which operated hospital ships in 150-square-foot cabin with bunk beds, the world's poorest nations. Surgery ships. roommates and cockroaches; fancy restaurants They'd been doing it for more than twenty-five for a cafeteria feeding four-hundred. But once years, producing incredible results. Top off the ship, I realized how good I had had it: I doctors and surgeons from all over the world was utterly astonished at the poverty I focused left their practices and fancy lives to operate through camera lenses. Often through tears, I By Scott Harrison 124 Citizen Culture corrections 11/22/05 11:17 AM Page 125
documented life and human suffering I'd thought unimaginable. In West Africa, I was a prince again. A king, in fact. A man with a bed and running water and food in my stomach three times again. In Benin, and then Liberia—a country with no public electricity, running water or sewage—I put a face to the world's 1.2 billion living on less than $365 a year. Less than what I used to spend on a bottle of Grey Goose at a trendy New York nightclub. wealth, and power to affect lives for the better. Our medical staff would hold “screenings” Mercy is singular and achievable. and thousands would wait in line to be seen, There's a parable about a man beaten near many afflicted with deformities even [horror death by robbers. Stripped naked, lying filmmaker] Clive Barker hadn't thought of. roadside, people pass him by-but one man Enormous, suffocating tumors, cleft lips, faces stops. He picks the man up and bandages his eaten by bacteria—medical conditions that are wounds, puts him on his horse and walks never allowed to progress in the West. Blind alongside until they reach an inn. He offers, people without access to a twenty-minute “Whatever he needs until he gets better,” just cataract removal surgery to restore their sight. because he could. Shakespeare said it right: Over eight months I met patients who mercy is twice blessed—it blesses those who taught me the meaning of courage, as they give and those who receive. I know this much slowly suffocated to death for years and yet is true. pressed on, prayed, hoped, survived. It was been my honor to photograph them. It was my honor to know them. * * * * I learned about a God I believe made the world, and about grace and mercy. Mercy is practical. Sometimes easy, sometimes inconvenient, always necessary. It is the ability to use one's position of influence, relative
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127 CCm corrections 11/22/05 11:18 AM Page 128 WHAT’SNEXT The Relationships Issue
The Democrats Respond! Citizen Culture interviews the “30-Something Working Group” of the U.S. House of Representatives
PHOTO & ART CREDITS
Cover: John Iton/CCM; Pg. 6: Igor Finkel/CCM; Pg. 18: Anthony Brennan; Pg. 21: Zoe Piel; Pg. 26: Jennifer Andal/istockphoto.com; Pg. 32: Kelly Resener/istockphoto.com; Pg. 35: Naomi Hasegawa/istockphoto.com; Pg. 38-48: Daniel Longmire/Comedy Central; Pg. 50-58: Jim Parsons/istockphoto.com; Pg. 75-81: Photos and Styling by John Iton/CCM, Makeup by Joey Acosta/CCM; Pg. 82: Jonathon Scott Feit/CCM; Pg. 85: Courtesy of Vance Int’l; Pg. 87: Jonathon Scott Feit/CCM; Pg. 88-90: Timothy Patrick/CCM; Pg. 92-98: Courtesy of Resnicow Schroeder Associates; Pg. 99: Courtesy of Niche Media; Pg. 102-105: Casey Spear/CCM; Pg. 106: Courtesy of Press Here Publicitiy; Pg. 110: Courtesy of Press Here Publicity; Pg. 118-119: Photos by David James/Warner Bros., Montage by Jonathon Scott Feit/CCM; Pg. 122: Jonathon Scott Feit/CCM; Pg. 124-127: Scott Harrison; Pg. 128: John Iton/CCM (Lingerie) corrections 11/22/05 11:18 AM Page 129 corrections 11/22/05 11:18 AM Page 130 corrections 11/22/05 11:18 AM Page 131